


See You Later

by blueshine



Category: The Adventure Zone (Podcast)
Genre: ..................upsy, Canon Typical Violence and Swearing, Friends to Lovers to Enemies to Lovers to Enemies to Lovers (repeat for 100 years), Kravitz is a reaper in every plane and is coming to COLLECT, M/M, Stolen Century Au, Temporary Character Death, not eighth bird kravitz but he's there every year, tagged "Major Character Death" because of stolen century shenanigans, this switches between being schmoopy as hell and Frightening
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-07-13
Updated: 2019-02-14
Packaged: 2019-06-09 21:54:11
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 27
Words: 319,278
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15276975
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/blueshine/pseuds/blueshine
Summary: The Stolen Century, but with an extra wrench thrown into the plans.Taako wants to kiss the wrench.(This metaphor has gotten out of hand.)





	1. Cycle 1

Taako had gotten the mongeese to take him deeper into their encampment to learn more of their language. He wished it didn't take him two months, but at least it was progress. They were still a bit wary of Lup and Barry, so he had to make the trek out alone. It wasn't as bad as he thought it would be. The baby loved him, and the adults trusted the baby's judgment, even if they didn't take their eyes off of Taako. And they didn't just teach him the language. They taught him about their culture, myths that they believed in, their history. The whole day was filled with lessons and conversations, and it occupied his mind _just_ enough to forget the piss-poor situation he found himself in.

His entire world getting destroyed by some black opal bullshit wasn't _great,_ but at least Taako had his sister. That was best-case scenario, vis a vis world destruction. He could set up shop anywhere, as long as Lup was there. For example, this place was _tight as shit._ Really cool. Taako dove into learning the language, found it fulfilling. He didn't have to think too hard about the destruction of that stink-planet he and Lup used to call home. And, sure, the rest of the crew were fine too. It was nice to have a couple other people from his home planet. But Lup was the important one.

So when she told him to take the opportunity to go deeper in with the mongeese without her, he reluctantly did as she said.

Going deeper into the forest without Lup made him uneasy. But she really wanted him to make progress on this language while she and Barry wrote down what they had learned so far. He didn't understand all of the language yet, he still needed practice, but he could keep a conversation. For now, though, he was _spent._ Really fucking tired. The Starblaster was a couple miles away, though, and he wanted to get there before sundown. Camping in the middle of a forest full of sentient animals was _not_ on his to-do list. Not that any of them would eat him, but, dude preferred a bed like a civilized elf.

He walked for a half mile before realizing that he was being _followed._

First, he noticed the chill. And then, the mist. It was something the mongeese warned him about, but Taako had assumed it was superstition and mythology. No, hold on, he _still_ thought it was superstition. There was no way it was real. The mongeese said that chills and mist would come whenever death came to take them away, and no way was that real. No fucking way. Impossible. Taako didn't even _entertain_ the thought that the myth was real.

He started walking a little faster.

The mist became thicker, and the temperature dropped even further, and _no, nope, uh-uh--_ Taako was _not_ going to be taken away by an evil spirit. He escaped whatever the _fuck_ that black opal shit was on their home world, he wasn't going to be bested by a goddamn ghost. And he _certainly_ wasn't dying in the middle of a forest where Lup couldn't find him. The further he walked, the thicker the mist became. Eventually, it became so thick that Taako couldn't even see in front of his eyes, and then--

A tree trunk manifested in front of him, surrounded by nightshade and silverpoint. A single raven perched on top of the stump. Not a live raven, but a dead one. Maybe? It was just bones, animated using some sort of magic. Dim red lights shone through the eye sockets, and it cawed once.

Great, Taako was going to die from some fantasy fairytale bullshit, and his sister wouldn't ever know.

But, surprisingly, the raven didn't do anything. It just sat there, head cocked and watching Taako intensely. He wasn't on death's door, as far as he knew, so there was no reason why this planet's physical embodiment of death should visit him. Taako backed away. Maybe if he just...left, he wouldn't be caught up in whatever bullshit this was? As soon as the stump and the raven disappeared from his sight, he tripped over backwards onto _another_ stump, falling ass onto trunk. The raven flew onto his chest and stood there, curiously pecking at the edges of his shirt.

_"Well, uh, take me out to dinner first,"_ Taako said, with what little parts of the animal language he had mastered. He knew enough to hold a conversation by now, but his grammar and pronunciation were off.

The raven stopped pecking at his shirt. _"What is this?"_

Well, at least he knew the language. Maybe Taako could talk his way out of this.

_"Uh, it's--"_ Damn, the animals didn't have a word for clothes. "A shirt," he said, in Common, and then continued in the animal language, _"from my...uh, home world?"_

"A shirt," the raven repeated, in the exact same voice and cadence Taako had said it in. A mimic, then. _"What are you?"_

_"I'm a Taako,"_ he answered. The animal language didn't have a word for elf or human or any of their species. When he understood the mongeese enough to know that they were asking what species he was, he immediately slapped his brand right on there. Now Barry had to introduce himself as a Taako to all the animals. Lup thought it was funny. Barry didn't.

_"I've never seen anything like you."_ The raven sounded awestruck.

_"Same goes to you, uh, you don't seem like you're--"_ Taako sat up, and the raven skid down his shirt, talons catching in it and creating a few nasty snags. He settled down onto Taako's lap, holding eye contact and studying him carefully. _"Are you really a raven?"_

The raven went off on what was probably an explanation, but it was full of chirps and twitters that Taako didn't understand. He might have gotten a hold of basic conversation, but whatever this raven was saying was full of specific (probably death-based) jargon that Taako couldn't get a hold of.

_"Whoa, hold on, slow down. I, uh, don't understand all of what you're saying."_

The bird cocked its head to the side.

_"I'm sorry, let me try--"_ The raven hopped up onto Taako's shoulder and pecked him right in the ear. Taako screeched, falling with his back to the trunk again. His ear rang, and the bird hopped back down onto Taako's chest. In Common, it asked, "is that better?"

"Yeah, uh, much better, actually, what--" Taako pressed a finger to his ear. Did the raven use magic so that he could comprehend Taako's language, or was it the other way around? Whatever it was, it was _interesting,_ and now Taako was invested. He wanted to know more about this weird dead bird. "What the fuck did you do?"

"I am an agent of the Raven Queen. It would be an inconvenience if I couldn't speak freely to _everyone_ in my jurisdiction."

"The...Raven Queen." Taako actually passed his religion check, there. Cool. He didn't know a lot about the Raven Queen, but he knew that she ruled over the Astral Plane and was responsible for the balance of life and death. "You trying to take me to hell or something?"

"No. I'm genuinely curious." The raven laughed, something shrill, otherworldly, and not a sound that any normal animal could make. "Like I said, I've never seen anything like you."

Taako barked out a laugh. "So, what, you just want a tea and chat?"

"If you have the time," he said, more genuine than Taako would have expected from an agent of death. Taako meant it as a joke, but this dude took him seriously. Normally, he'd just brush the guy off, but...

Well, this guy looked fun to tease and make fun of, and Taako needed something light to do after all of the bullshit that had happened. The animals were intelligent, sure, but this guy seemed to be in a whole other league. He'd be a shitty researcher if he didn't take the time to figure out what made this guy tick. Maybe he could act as an interpreter, if they got along well enough.

"Yeah, fuck it, why not?" Taako held out his arm for the raven to hop onto. "You got a name, thug?"

"It's Kravitz." He climbed onto Taako's arm, and then came up to sit on his shoulder. "It's very nice to meet you, Taako."

"Wh--okay, you know my name. Nice. Cool." Taako laughed, more of a nervous tick than a reaction to something funny. "Is that _also_ some kind of--kind of spooky death power you've got?"

"I have a record of all living beings on this plane, if that's what you're asking." Kravitz hopped from Taako's shoulder to his head, back and forth, trying to find a suitable perch. He opted for the shoulder. "When seven new beings suddenly appear in my jurisdiction, all of them a species I've never seen before, then. Well, yes, I'm going to remember that name."

"Huh. Guess that's cool." Taako watched the mist, worried. "Listen, I'm fine with telling you all about--what I am, where I come from, all that jazz--but I do need to get back to my ship before sundown."

"Would you mind if I followed you?"

"Why not?" Taako shrugged, pushing Kravitz off of his perch and shoving him into the space next to his cheek. "Hell, this is technically part of my job anyway. If Davenport asks, you just tell him you're teaching me the language of this planet."

"I can do that in exchange for the information you give me." Kravitz ruffled his feathers (or, he was mimicking the action--he didn't _have_ feathers, just bones) and settled back into position on Taako's shoulder.

"Then, guess that's a deal." Taako walked forward. "Let's go, bird boy."

Kravitz stayed on Taako's shoulder and guided him out of the mist. It didn't take long for the mist to disappear completely. It seemed as if Kravitz controlled it himself, and as soon as he wanted to leave, it lifted. As they walked out, feathers filled out Kravitz' form so that he looked like a normal, live raven. Taako made a mental note to ask about how that worked later.

Once the mist fully dissipated, the Starblaster sat in front of them, parked just at the edge of a forest.

"Oh, hey, there's the ship."

"I used the mist to transport you back to where the rest of the Taakos are." Kravitz flew over towards the ship and landed on the railing. "It's the least I could do for inconveniencing you."

"You're right, it is the least you could do." Taako walked up the loading platform, offering his arm to Kravitz so they could walk in together. "Come on, let's get you in here, you look curious."

The Starblaster was a large ship, sure, but it was only meant for a two month mission. They had only been on this planet for a little over a month, and already it felt too cramped. It wasn't built for a long-term survival mission, but they made do. Right now, the common area was filled with plants that Merle had to check one by one. They needed a stable food source, and it seemed as if meat was off the table on this planet. Merle sat there checking the chemical composition of each plant, making sure they weren't poisonous, and handed the safe ones to Magnus to test their taste. Later, they would hand off the good tasting ones to Lup and Taako, so they could try and make something edible out of it.

But, whatever, Taako was about to put that little experiment on hold. He had a cool bird on his arm and he was going to freak the fuck out of his team.

"Whoa, a bird! Cool!" Magnus leapt out of his chair and a bunch of berries fell out of his mouth as he spoke.

Taako held out his arm, putting Kravitz on display. "Not really? He's the fetch boy for the Raven Queen."

"Huh, good to know that the gods and goddesses of this plane are the same." Merle waddled over to Taako, extending a hand to the bird on his arm. How he thought he could shake a bird's _nonexistent hand_ was beyond Taako. "Name's Merle Highchurch, I'm a man of Pan."

"Oh, he's a very popular god here." Kravitz hopped onto the proffered arm and pattered up onto Merle's head. He turned his head in every direction, inspecting the ship. "You were right, it does seem like you're all from another world."

"How does he know what we're saying?" Magnus ran up to look at the bird, curious. "How's he speaking Common?"

"Death magic, I think," Taako said.

"That's kind of a dumb way to put it, but sure." Kravitz hopped onto Magnus once he got close enough, seeking the higher perch. "My name is Kravitz."

"Kravitz. Cool! I'm Magnus, that's Merle." He brought his arm in front of his face so he could get a better look at Kravitz. "So are all ravens agents of the Raven Queen, or are you just special?"

"I can make my form look like any resident of the Material Plane," Kravitz explained, staying still on Magnus' arm. "This form just fits very well with the mythology the residents have set up."

"He's doing it for the drama." Merle gagged. "No _wonder_ he approached Taako first."

"I do enjoy theatrics, but that is not the only reason I've assumed this form." Kravitz cocked his head to the side. "Would it help if I took another form in front of all of you?"

Taako waved his hand in the air and shrugged. "Do what you want, we're chill."

Magnus looked Kravitz over a few more times. His eyes widened, and he stuck his tongue out, catching it between his teeth as he concentrated. His hand reached towards Kravitz' tail feathers. Before he could even get an inch near the longest feather, Kravitz hopped off his arm and flew back into Taako's arms. Taako held onto him like a chicken, hands over the wings. Kravitz, surprisingly, didn't seem to object.

"Oh, come on!" Magnus pouted.

"I would have let you touch if you asked permission!" Kravitz pressed himself further in Taako's grasp.

Taako considered the bird in his hands, and without thinking too hard, he balanced Kravitz' breast on his lower arm and used his free arm to pet him. Kravitz, thankfully, enjoyed this, and didn't peck out Taako's eyes in revenge.

He sat himself down on one of the couches, and Merle and Magnus got back to their work. Taako kept Kravitz in his lap, leaning over him every once in a while to write down notes about the language. Kravitz would interject with questions about their home planet, their species, personal questions about Taako--it ended up being a pretty fair trade of information. Every once in a while, Magnus or Merle would join in on the conversation, offering an answer, or had a question of their own. After an hour or so, Lup walked into the common area, half dressed (great, she got to take _a nap_   while Taako was off doing _important business),_ and looked at the bird in her brother's hands.

"Whoa, cool bird!" She grinned, running up and extending an arm out to pet Kravitz. "Goth as fuck."

"That's my sister, Lup. My twin sister. Guess you could say we're from the same litter?" Taako held Kravitz out so he could get a good look at her. "You know what that means, right? Does that make any sense to you?"

"I know what a sister is, and I know what twins are." Kravitz' little bird feet dangled in the air as he was held out in front of Lup. He didn't look too pleased about that, so Taako brought him back into his lap.

Lup sat down next to Taako, curious eyes watching the bird. "He can understand us?"

"Yeah, and he can also speak the fuckin' animal language, so, guess what? Taako solved this whole problem."

Kravitz ruffled his feathers. "I believe that means I solved your whole...problem."

"But I was the one that brought you here."

"...And I was the one that approached you, so really, I think I deserve the credit."

"I like this talking bird," Lup said, pointing finger guns at Kravitz. She held both her hands out and ran backwards towards the labs. "Hold on, let me get Barry in here so we can get this language party started!"

Taako closed his notebook. If Lup and Barry were going to join in on this, he shouldn't be expected to write _jack shit._ He set Kravitz down on the couch cushion and stood up.

"Do you eat?" he asked, walking towards the kitchen.

Kravitz immediately flew back to Taako's shoulder. "I have the ability to, but it's not necessary."

"Oh, sweet, so it won't hurt you if I give you food that birds can't eat, right?"

"I'm not exactly _living,_ so, do as you wish," he said, preening his feathers while on Taako's shoulder.

"Nope, you've got to do that somewhere else." Taako shooed him away. "I don't want feathers in my food."

"My apologies," he said, and flew over to inspect Merle's plants. Taako blinked, caught off guard that this bird he just met _listened_ to him, cared about his feelings enough to say he was sorry. He wasn't used to being so respected right off the bat--sure, the crew was _nice_ to him, but they hadn't really clicked until halfway through training. And Lup loved him, but they had known each other their entire lives. People didn't usually like Taako until they had time to get used to his weird quirks. It usually took _months_ before Taako opened up to someone enough to merit that kind of respect, but Kravitz just--skipped all that? They had one conversation together and worked together like vinegar and baking soda, curiously asking and excitedly answering each others' questions. It was weird. This bird was weird.

Taako got to work cooking, determined to get a video of a bird eating chocolate on film, in case he ever made it back to his home planet.

* * *

Kravitz came over to hang out on the ship more than he should have. 

Sure, fine, he had to come over to help Taako, Lup, and Barry learn the animal language. They had lessons set up every day, and the only thing he wanted in exchange was information about their species and mission. That was something they had previously agreed upon. But once the lessons were over, he stayed behind for a few hours. He'd follow Taako around and observe his behavior. He asked more questions. Not about the mission, or about their species or culture, but about Taako specifically. How he was feeling, his hobbies, how he got to studying magic, his bond with Lup, their childhood, how he found himself on an exploratory space mission. Lots of deep, personal questions.

And (this was fucked up) Taako answered all the questions honestly.

Something about Kravitz drew the truth out of him. Not forcefully. Taako wanted him to know the truth (really fucked up), and even told him a few things he hadn't told Lup (even more fucked up!). He waited for Kravitz to use the information against him, to go tattle on his goddess or let the rest of the crew know all of his secrets.

He never did.

It didn't take long for Taako to start confiding in Kravitz without any prompting. Kravitz listened closely, knowing when Taako wanted to rant or when he needed some kind of response. He seemed genuinely interested in everything Taako had to say, hanging on every word like it was the most interesting story he'd ever listened to.

Taako was in the middle of one of these rants when he realized he didn't know that much about Kravitz. He stopped in the middle of a story about his college days, and fell into silence.

Kravitz hopped from his perch into Taako's lap, concerned. "Taako? Are you alright?"

"I'm good, man, just..." Taako ran his finger on the top of Kravitz' head, smoothing out the feathers there. "Kind of done talking about it."

"Of course." Kravitz stepped backwards to give Taako some space. "Would you like some time alone?"

"Nah, I'm good." Taako gestured for Kravitz to come back for more contact, and the raven happily followed his direction. He made himself more comfortable in his seat, holding Kravitz and absentmindedly petting him. He found Kravitz' ear holes when he moved the feathers on the side of his head, and could feel how delicate his skull was when he scratched under his chin. Kravitz chirped and leaned into the touch, so Taako knew it was welcome. He thought about everything Kravitz had asked him, and decided he wanted to know some more about this bird. "Uh, what's--do you have some kind of, uh...you got a family, or anything?"

Kravitz stopped, thought over the question for a few seconds. "I'm an emissary for a goddess, I don't...no, I don't have a family." He didn't sound very excited to answer, so Taako decided to stay away from family questions.

"Hey, that's, uh--that's fine." Taako wondered what would be safe to ask him. "Where'd you grow up?"

"I...didn't? I don't know." He hopped out of Taako's body and paced around, upset by the questioning. "I'm just a soul with a constructed body, I don't think I..."

"You've been doing this for a long time?"

"Serving my Queen? I cannot remember very far back, but yes." He puffed out his feathers a bit, which _looked_ cute, but Taako had spent enough time around birds over the months to know that was a defensive motion unless he was falling asleep--and, from the tone in his voice, Taako knew Kravitz was very awake.

Taako could see Kravitz was upset, but his curiosity got the better of him. "You can't remember?"

"The details are a bit fuzzy, but I know I've been doing this for centuries."

"The details are fuzzy? What, are you going to, uh, forget us in a couple months?" The thought upset Taako more than he was willing to admit.

"No! No, I remember everything from this year clearly." Kravitz ruffled his feathers. "It's just, things farther back aren't..."

He trailed off, and it felt like he didn't want to talk about it at all anymore, but. Taako was curious.

"So were you always serving this goddess, or just after you died?"

"I'm...not sure." Kravitz looked down at the floor, upset. "I think I might have lived, once, but I just can't remember. That's very far back. I'm sorry."

"It's cool," he said, even though the sadness in Kravitz' voice made him want to scoop up the bird, hold him and do whatever he needed to make that tone in his voice go away. Taako clamped down pretty fucking hard on that feeling. He didn't know where the impulse came from, but it hit him like the time Lup accidentally rammed a metal baseball bat into his chest when they were forty.

"What do you like to do now?" Taako asked, desperate to bring this conversation back to a good place. He didn't want Kravitz to think he was a bummer.

"A few chimpanzees have a little gambling spot set up by the mountains," Kravitz said, mood slowly lifting as he spoke about something that wasn't his past. "They play some games out there. I'm not very good at winning, but they only bet food, and I don't need to eat."

"Well, uh." Taako stood up, reaching for his hat and settling it on his head. "Hey, why don't--why don't we go do that?"

Kravitz looked at him curiously. "Right now?"

"Yeah, why the fuck not?" Taako grabbed for his jacket and robe, pulling them on in record speed.

"That would be wonderful. Would you like to bring Davenport, as well?" Kravitz flew over and perched on Taako's shoulder. "He said something about surveying the land around the ship. I can tell you the names of all the areas around here."

"No, we, uh--we can just go alone." Taako thought for a moment, and then lunged to grab his notebook. "I can take notes."

"Don't want your captain knowing about this little gambling excursion?" Kravitz asked, a smile in his voice.

"He doesn't need to know." Taako turned his nose up and walked out of his room.

Kravitz mimicked a laugh, a habit he'd picked up from hanging around Taako for so long. Most of his habits were semi-human, a side effect from hanging around the IPRE crew for a few months. He had a voice of his own when he spoke Common, though. Taako didn't know where he got it from. It didn't sound like any of the crew, it was specifically Kravitz' voice. It sounded like a guy from Fantasy West Virginia trying to act formal, but Taako couldn't judge. His voice sounded like a dude from Fantasy West Virginia imitating a plastic squeaker toy. Kravitz' was charming, at least. But the laugh was definitely the best part of his voice.

It was cute.

Taako ignored that thought and shoved it down far into the folds of his brain.

He hoped he could get out of the ship without Davenport seeing him, because Kravitz would _definitely_ invite him to draw a map of the area. Taako didn't need that. He just wanted a bit of a break from work. Even if he told Kravitz this _was_ work. It wasn't. His plan was to conveniently "forget" to take any notes. It didn't matter--Kravitz could just tell someone else about the area later. And if he caught on to Taako's slacking, he could just...tell him? Probably? Kravitz would understand, and he'd already shown that he wasn't a snitch. It would be fine.

They were two steps from the door outside the ship before Lup caught them. She was out in her uniform, actually dressed to leave for once. _Fuck._ Fuck! So much for having some time to himself. Or. Himself and Kravitz.

"Hey, you two going out to study?" she asked, which was an innocent enough question.

"Yes, we're going to survey the surrounding area," Kravitz said, speaking from Taako's shoulder. _Fuck,_ whydid he have to be so _friendly_ right now?

Lup smiled, running towards the pair. "Oh, sweet, can I come too?"

"No, it's, uh--we're going up to some gambling ring, see what some fuckin' monkeys are up to."  Taako would usually want to stay as close as possible to Lup, but now that they were settled in this world, he wasn't afraid she would be taken from him. He just wanted some time to himself. With this weird bird. So he lied. "It would be, would be suspicious if we brought more people."

"It's already suspicious if you're there, Taako." Kravitz hopped over to Taako's opposite shoulder. "Bringing Lup along won't change that."

"I mean--there _are_ two of us, wouldn't that be kind of--kind of weird?" Taako felt Lup staring into his soul as he spoke. Was he sweating? Shit, he was sweating. "Don't want to scare the animals."

"I don't think so, they already know the two of you."

"Oh, uh, that's fine." Lup waved her hand in the air, grinning. "I don't want to go anymore."

"Are you alright? I hope you're not feeling ill."

"Nah, I'm good." Lup looked directly at Taako, and he knew she'd want to talk about this later. "You two have _fun."_ Fuck. Damn it. Now she thought that Taako was _involved_ with a bird. He ran out of the ship with Kravitz. He'd deal with Lup and that _fucking smirk_ on her face later. Which was so unwarranted and--just, jumped to _so many conclusions._ Hanging out with Kravitz wasn't anything salacious. They wouldn't be _doing anything,_ Kravitz was his friend, and also a bird, and also his language partner. It wouldn't be even a little bit gay. Was she really going to judge him for going out alone with a friend?

A friend.

It didn't feel _right_ to call Kravitz a friend, but Taako chalked that up to trust issues.

* * *

"So, how is this? Do I look like a Taako?" 

Kravitz stood there, arms wide open with a tentative smile. Over the months, he had told and shown Taako that he could change his form into any species of animal that lived on the planet. He usually assumed an avian form, but would turn into other animals as a form of entertainment or necessity. But, here, he stood in front of Taako as a human. Elf. Actually, it looked like he studied the physical features of each of the crew members and patched together a body using them as a template. Magnus' height and build. Lucretia's skin and hair texture. Barry's softness. Davenport's ears. Merle's beard. The ethereal, fae-like quality Taako and Lup shared. He dressed in an IPRE uniform, jacket over robe just like Lup and Taako's, but black instead of red. Made sense--that was the only clothing he had seen the crew wear, considering they only packed for a two month mission and the inhabitants of this world didn't wear clothes.

The only thing that he didn't borrow was a face. It was a face that Taako had never seen before. High cheekbones, full lips, well-defined jaw. Kind, soft eyes full of curiosity. A round, curved nose that light bounced off of at the prettiest angle possible. His face was...handsome. That was a hard thought to swallow for Taako. He didn't _want_ to be attracted to this--well, he wasn't a bird. He'd made that clear before. But _damn,_ he was handsome. If Taako met a guy with that face in a bar, he'd take him home immediately, minimal questions asked.

"Where'd you get that face?" Taako asked, once he realized how long he'd been staring.

"Oh, well--" He fidgeted, which wasn't a normal behavior for his default form. But Kravitz had spent enough time with the crew to adopt some of their mannerisms. If Taako didn't know any better, he'd think that Kravitz was a human (or, whatever this form was) his whole life. "None of you look alike, so I assumed facial differentiation was important to your species?"

"You assumed right, it'd be _super weird_ if you looked like anyone else on the ship. But still." Taako stepped forward and traced a finger along the jaw, a motion that Kravitz enjoyed when he was a bird. "You _made up_ a face?"

"This will sound strange, maybe, but..." Kravitz seemed flustered by the contact, more than he should have been. He stepped backwards, a little too sheepish all of a sudden. "There are some features that are tied to my soul, as an emissary of my Queen. Black fur or feathers or hair, red eyes, things like that."

Taako nodded. "Sure, gotta keep the aesthetic alive."

"That's one way to put it." Kravitz touched his own face, in awe of it. "Somehow, when I was deciding what to make myself look like, this face was...already there? So I decided to try it out."

"Oh, sweet, it was already coded into your soul?" 

"Something like that." Kravitz clasped his hands together, not sure what to do with them. He'd have to learn some of the mannerisms that came with a bipedal body. "There's also a few marks on my arm. I can't erase them."

"Can I see?"

Kravitz nodded and didn't roll his sleeve up, but simply dissolved his left sleeve up to his shoulder (Taako gawked a bit once he saw the bare arm--but, again, he pushed those thoughts away). Two thin and elaborate white bands were etched into his skin. Thirteen circles sat in between the bands, all encircling his arm and evenly spaced together. The circles were colored, but there didn't seem to be a pattern to them--two blue circles, then three red circles, and then the rest were white. The whole tattoo wasn't very thick, about the width of a finger.

"It's pretty," Taako said, finger tracing a couple of the red circles.

"You think so?" Kravitz stepped backwards and his sleeve reappeared on his arm. "I wish I knew why they're there."

Kravitz always got fidgety when he thought about where he came from, or with unanswered questions about himself. Taako kept away from asking those questions now. But these tattoos were just another question Kravitz had about himself. New questions made more problems. Taako wished he could do something to make the problems go away.

You know, as a friend.

"Hey, gotta keep some mysteries alive," he said, electing to keep the tone light. If he could get Kravitz thinking about something else other than his tattoos, maybe his mood would lift. "Tall, dark, and mysterious. It's a hell of a vibe you've got going on."

"I suppose so." He put his hands behind his back and stared down at the floor, embarrassed. "Is it alright? Do you think I can use this face?"

"It's--nice," was all Taako could say. When Taako learned how to use a stove for the first time, he accidentally stuck his face right in the front of the oven as he opened it, and the steam seared his cheeks--the same amount of heat came into his cheeks now.

"Thank you. I was a little sad I couldn't use yours. It's--" Kravitz took in a long breath, even if it wasn't necessary for him to. "It's nice," he said, quiet and fond.

They both stared for a little longer than was socially acceptable before getting back to work.

* * *

"You _like_   him," Lup said before they fell asleep one night, both laying on top of the covers, just airing out some twin talk. They didn't always sleep in the same bed, and Taako had his own cabin, but after their entire world was destroyed, they needed the company.

"What? No. That'd be--" Taako shrunk in on himself. He didn't have to ask to know she was talking about Kravitz. She wasn't _wrong,_ he and Kravitz were good friends, but her tone suggested something more than that. It wasn't like he hadn't thought about Kravitz that way, but he'd die before saying that out loud. "He's, like, a bird? That'd be. That'd be weird."

"He's not a bird, he's an emissary for a goddess." She sat up, staring down at Taako with purpose. "He's a lot older than any other animal on this plane. Honestly, he's the closest thing to a _person_ that we've met here."

Taako rolled over so she couldn't look him in the eyes. "Are you trying to give me excuses to date him?"

"You sound like you need them." Lup laid back down, supporting herself on her elbows. "Taako, we've been--we're caught in some dumb shit right now. That doesn't mean you stop being a person with feelings."

"Guess not..." Taako's feelings bubbled up to the surface just from Lup mentioning them. He pushed those down _real quick._ He'd gotten good at doing that when it came to talking about Kravitz. "I just--it's--he's a _bird,"_ he said, exhausted, and pulled a pillow to his face.

"He changes into a kind-of human whenever he comes to visit you." Lup pulled the pillow off his face, grinning smug at him once she saw how red his face had gotten. "He never turns into a human for _us."_

"He doesn't?"

"Not unless we comment on it." She smiled. "He's trying to impress you. It's cute."

Taako whined and grabbed the pillow back from her, pulling it over his face again. She didn't need to see this breakdown. "I still met him when he was a bird and that's _weird,_ Lup."

"I'm not going to fight you too hard on this, but let me say this." Lup nudged the pillow off of his face again, this time softer and nicer. "Don't deny yourself something good just because we're trying to survive the apocalypse. You've never--" She paused, and then laughed. "Well, I've never seen you go after someone this nice."

"Yeah." Taako pulled the pillow to his chest, nodding along. "Yeah, right, uh--thanks."

"Anytime." Lup shimmied herself under the covers. "Go to sleep."

He did, eventually, but it took him a hell of a long time.

* * *

"Look at this, Taako," Kravitz said, flying into Taako's room one morning. He shifted into his human form and held out a sparkling skipping stone. Completely smooth, freckled with little inconsistencies that shone in the light. "Isn't it pretty?" 

"Very." Taako got out of bed. He could only pretend to be disinterested for so long, and the cute look on Kravitz' face paired with his unfiltered excitement over _a rock_ was absolutely the breaking point for Taako. He'd been dancing around this with Kravitz for seven months, that was enough. "Uh, listen--"

Kravitz pressed the stone into Taako's hands. "Um, it's--it's for you. Keep it."

"Thanks." Taako thought back to a conversation he had earlier that year with some bowerbirds, who had told him that they impressed their mates with shiny rocks and elaborate nests. He knew Kravitz wasn't a bird, but he certainly adopted some of those mannerisms. And, fuck, getting a hand-picked gift from Kravitz _did things_ to Taako. "Can we talk?" he asked, in a voice that he wish didn't sound so small.

"What about?" Kravitz tilted his head. "Did you hear another word that you need translated?"

"No, it's, uh...it's not about...it's not about work." Taako ran his thumb along his new rock. "I'd like to--to talk to you as. As a. Uh. Just, as a person? Sort of? An animal? Or whatever you are. It doesn't matter."

"I'm--a soul, I guess. That's the most accurate you can get."

"Sure, fine, whatever, that's _great,_ I--" Taako grabbed his hat off his desk and placed it on his head. He liked fiddling with the edges when he was nervous. "You've got, like, a full range of emotions, right? You've got that--those good critical thinking skills, and all that shit?"

Kravitz frowned as he tried to process all of what Taako said. "I'm a sentient being, if that's what you're asking. I thought we covered that a long time ago?"

"Yeah, no, I got that, I--" He grabbed the brim of his hat and pulled it over his ears. "What's your stance, vis a vis...uh, do you? Date? Is that a thing you can do?"

A lightbulb went off above Kravitz' head.

"Ye-yes! Of course!" Even through his darker complexion, Taako could see some red undertone seeping through his cheeks. Good. Meant his circulation worked at least a little bit. "I'm! I'm very capable of that, and, I. Would like to. I'm not--taken, I'm, available, and, I--" Kravitz hid his face in his hands, emitting an embarrassed whine. "Oh, dear, I'm making a fool of myself."

"It's cute," Taako said, before he could think any better of it. "I just want to make sure I'm not. That this isn't. Okay, where I'm from, it was like, we had animals like on this planet? But they didn't talk. Well--some of them did, but not, like, of their own volition? It was. Mimicking. And since I met you as a bird, I wanted to make sure that--"

"I can see why you'd be a little apprehensive about this, but it's okay, Taako. I'm intelligent and I can make my own decisions, and...well, I've made an important one." Suddenly, Kravitz' hand was on his arm and his face was inches away. "I like you, too."

"Oh." Taako's brain short-circuited, and all higher functions were unavailable for a moment. When he came back, he tried to put back on that air of detachment. "Well, why wouldn't you? I'm a fuckin' catch."

"You are," Kravitz said, with a reverence that Taako demanded from past partners, but never actually received.

"You're not so bad yourself." With the knowledge that Kravitz was just as into this as he was, Taako allowed himself to step closer. He grinned up towards Kravitz, teasing and flirtatious. "So this is happening?"

"If you want it to." Kravitz smiled, shy and a bit warm.

"Hell, why not?" Taako wrapped his arms around Kravitz' shoulders. "As long as you don't, like, try to vomit in my mouth or anything."

Kravitz pouted. "How many times do I have to tell you I'm not really a bird?"

"You flirted with me by giving me a rock."

"I was told giving you a present might..." Kravitz moved his arms around Taako, trying to find the correct place to hold him. Taako nodded and leaned in closer when his hands got to his middle. "Well, lead to this. Seems like it worked."

Alarm bells went off in Taako's brain. "Who told you that?"

"I have to admit I went to one of your friends for advice," he said, looking off to the side. 

"Which one?"

"Would it be weird if I said your sister?" Kravitz grinned a bit too wide, nervous. "She was the one that approached me. Didn't want me to...vomit in your mouth." He rolled his eyes.

"Lup can get her fucking head out of my love life. If she tries to meddle again, cover your ears and walk away." Taako would have to have words with her later. When did she tell him? "Not your fault, though, she's pushy. You learn anything useful, though?"

He hesitated, and then quietly said, "I could kiss you, if you wanted."

Taako whined and pulled the brim of his hat over his eyes. _"Please_ tell me you didn't get a demonstration of that from Lup."

"Well--no, I don't know what it is." He ducked his head, a bit embarrassed. "She told me it was something you would enjoy, but I didn't get any details."

"I mean, hell yeah, I'd enjoy it." He flicked the brim of his hat back up so he could look at Kravitz. "Would _you?"_

"I don't know. Can we try it once so I can form an opinion?"

"A'course, it's easy." Taako scanned Kravitz' face. Actually able to think about how kissable his face was, now that he wasn't shoving all those thoughts down after every two seconds. "It's probably easier if I just, do it _at_ you and let you figure it out on your end. Just push me away if it's bad, okay?"

He nodded. "Sure, go ahead."

Taako laid two hands on the side of Kravitz' face, thinking of a strategy for this. Didn't want to scare Kravitz on the first try. "Okay, so, I'm just going to, sort of, put my lips on yours? That's fine?"

"It's alright, please, you can start whenever you'd like," Kravitz said, impatient.

"Just wanted to give you a warning." He tilted his head to the right and closed his eyes, kissed him soft and careful.

Kravitz stayed stiff as a board for a couple moments. He still held Taako close to him, but was unsure of what to do. Taako nudged him along with his lips, gently showing him what to do. After a moment, he felt a soft, tentative pressure on his lips, and that's where Taako lost his fucking mind. Kravitz had no idea what he was doing, and it was clumsy and bad, but Taako couldn't care less. He was kissing this guy he had spent months denying his feelings for--who the fuck cared if he didn't know what he was doing?

Taako pulled back, staying close enough that their noses touched. "You, uh--liked that? Was that okay?"

He stared back, stunned. Taako swore he saw hearts in his eyes. "...Can we do that again?"

"Fuck yeah, as much as you wan--"

He couldn't even finish his sentence before Kravitz had his lips up against his again, a little too forceful but very enthusiastic. Actually, _way_ too forceful. Taako could feel his teeth starting to press against the inside of his own lips, and Kravitz' lips were puckered so tightly together it had to have hurt him.

"Hol--oh, _damn,_ hold on!" Taako pried himself away. "Slow down, there, that's--" He laughed as Kravitz chased his lips. "Okay, wait, if you're gonna do this, you've got to learn a few basics." Taako swiped a thumb over Kravitz' lips, offering an encouraging smile. "Don't go so rough like that, it's better if it's soft."

Kravitz nodded furiously. "I--sorry, I'm not sure what I'm doing yet, just--" His eyes flicked down to Taako's lips for a moment. "It's _nice."_

"I like your enthusiasm." Taako spoke softly, pressed his forehead up against Kravitz to calm him. "Follow my lead, got it? We'll figure this out."

"We will," he said, more of a reminder to himself than to Taako.

They spent the rest of the morning together, and Taako delighted in the discovery that Kravitz was a very quick study.

* * *

Taako _liked_ being with Kravitz.

Not just the kissing (which Kravitz got _extremely_ skilled at with practice). His presence calmed Taako, and in return, he brightened up Kravitz' whole demeanor. Taako trusted him. Taako _trusted him--_ he didn't trust anyone who wasn't Lup. But he clicked with Kravitz. Something about him felt safe. It didn't take long for Taako to be completely invested in him, head over heels in a way he hadn't ever been. Kravitz was just as bad--he was friendly with the rest of the crew, and well-liked, but he spent eighty percent of time off with Taako. They were good friends before, but after their first kiss it was as if a dam burst. Their conversations stretched long into the nights, both intensely curious of each other. It was innocent and light in a way Taako hadn't been able to experience with other partners before, similar to two teenagers learning what love was. Nothing too deep, nothing perfect, but with the foundations of something that could grow bigger, given enough time.

And with Taako's long lifespan and Kravitz' immortality, they had a lot of time.

At least, that's what they thought.

It unnerved everyone when they noticed the color in the grass and sky fading. Barry said he remembered the grass looking a bit brown before they blasted out of their planar system. Merle's magic slowed down, became less powerful. Pan didn't answer his calls. The rest of the crew chose to ignore the signs, went to their normal business. Refused to entertain the idea that something else could be wrong.

Kravitz and Taako were alone one night, holding each other as they tried not to think about it. Kravitz hadn't experienced the apocalypse the first time, but he had heard the rest of the crew's accounts of the event. Taako could feel the anxiety in every touch Kravitz offered him. He didn't admit his worry, even after Taako asked. They just planned for the worst. They'd keep Kravitz on the ship with them until everything went back to normal, and if the apocalypse came again, Taako would get to keep his boyfriend. He had already cleared the plan with Davenport, who had no problem taking a new member on board. He wasn't a scientist or a fighter, and he didn't have any skills that would help them on the ship, but the rest of the crew liked Kravitz as much as Taako.

Maybe not as much as Taako. But he was liked. It wouldn't hurt to keep another person on the ship.

That plan went right out the window when Kravitz got called by his goddess.

"It's just a call for a job, I think," he said, kissing Taako before he turned back into a bird. "Should only be a couple hours.

"Hopefully." Taako scoffed and crossed his arms. "Go on, then. Better come back quick, in case something happens."

Kravitz hesitated, turned around, and morphed back into his human-ish form. "Wait. I forgot something."

Taako rolled his eyes, but opened his arms for his boyfriend. "You already kissed me goodbye, there's not much else you could have forgotten, babe." He turned his head to the side, smirking. "Unless you want another one."

He hummed, smiled, and held Taako's chin in his hands. "I love you."

That cheeky grin fell from Taako's face instantly. He froze. Taako didn't want to be thrown off by something that was so obvious, that Kravitz had been hinting at since they got together, but here he was. It was like his brain wasn't even able to process the idea. Given his history, that was entirely possible. The only person Taako loved was Lup, and they didn't make a habit of saying it out loud. And sibling love wasn't even in the same league as romantic love.

Maybe he _did_ love Kravitz, but he hadn't thought about it too hard. He needed some time to mull it over.

"Oh, I'm--I'm sorry." Kravitz let go of him, allowing him some space. "That was too much."

"No, it's, uh--" Taako lunged for Kravitz' hands, needing some kind of contact to keep him grounded. "You're fine."

Kravitz shook his head, concerned. "I can tell it's making you uncomfortable."

"I, uh...no complaints from me, over here, babe, it's fine, I liked hearing it, I--" Words fell out of his mouth with no logic attached. He had to stop it before he looked like an idiot. Taako let out the entire contents of his lungs in one long breath, trying to steady the shaking in his arms. "Can we talk about this when you get back? Again, I'm--I'm super on board with it, it's just--"

"You can have all the time you need, Taako. Even if you're not ready by the time I get back." Kravitz leaned over and gave him one more kiss, swiping his thumb over Taako's cheek in a comforting motion. Fuck, he played that off like it wasn't even a big deal! Like he was willing to wait a hundred years for Taako to make up his mind. Knowing him, he probably would wait. He stepped backwards, towards the window. "I'll be back soon."

"Please," he said, chasing Kravitz' touch as he moved away.

Kravitz nodded his head, turned back into a bird, and flew off into the mist.

* * *

He didn't come back the next day.

Or the day after.

A week passed, and Kravitz didn't come back.

Taako tried not to think about why. He could come up with a million reasons off the top of his head--Kravitz wasn't interested anymore, Kravitz hated his reaction to the _I love you,_ Kravitz didn't want to deal with the Taako™ baggage--endless possibilities, all beginning with Taako's insecurities and exploding from there. He pushed as many thoughts as he could to the side as the world started to crumble around them.

Merle's magic stopped working. The grass was _grey_ by the end of the week. The animals were oddly quiet, all on edge. The stars disappeared out of the sky at night. Taako stayed huddled up next to Lup, needing comfort and contact. She tried to talk trash about Kravitz for leaving, but Taako didn't have it in him to talk about it at all. He didn't even tell her what Kravitz said. It didn't matter. Kravitz' disappearance probably wasn't his fault. He must have gotten hurt on the job, he must have gotten cut off from his goddess like Merle, he must have died, somehow.

He had to believe something bad happened, and that Kravitz didn't get bored and leave.

Or that he was mad that Taako didn't say he loved him back.

Either way, Taako didn't want to think about it.

The crew was in the high animals' court when the black tendrils came the second time. Davenport ushered everyone to the ship. Lup had to drag Taako with all her strength, had to pull him away from his pleas to go find his boyfriend. She hated to be the one to separate them, but she couldn't bear losing her brother, either. Somewhere along the way, they lost Magnus. They stayed on the ship and waited for him, but after an hour without any sign of him, Davenport needed to get them out.

Davenport dodged the tendrils as he flew out of the plane, finally able to pass through the weakness in reality that had sent them to this plane at the beginning of the year. The rest of the crew mourned the loss of Magnus and Kravitz, and every animal on the plane.

Once Davenport secured the ship well past the barrier, time stopped. White and silver threads engulfed the ship, and everyone on the ship felt their positions shift. Merle felt a cut forming on his forehead. The dull hangover from a dive bar's cheap beer seeped into all of their brains. The threads pushed everyone to the places where they stood when they passed through the weirdness in the planes the first time.

When the threads lifted, Magnus was there.

But Kravitz wasn't.

The rest of the crew pressed their faces to the window, watching as the...thing fed on the plane they just escaped. Taako didn't gasp or scream or watch the animal planet get devoured. He couldn't focus on that. Kravitz was-- _gone,_ just, out, not _here._ Did he get eaten by that shadow? Why did Magnus get pulled back to the ship, but not Kravitz?

Barry knew more about bonds than Taako did, but he knew the basics. The engine was powered by bonds. That must have been how Magnus got stitched back together. The crew didn't know each other that well yet, but the bonds formed by a group that stuck out the apocalypse together was stronger than most relationships. It made sense that the engine pulled Magnus back to life. But why not Kravitz? They had only been dating for three months, sure, but they were friends the entire time before that. Did that not matter to the ship?

Was Taako's bond with him not strong enough?

Maybe they weren't in love. Maybe that was a lie.

He tried not to think about it as they landed on another plane.


	2. Cycle 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Taako sees a familiar face. Lup goes on the offensive.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> slight content warning: vague sexual situation in the last section of the chapter. nothing explicit, and it's interrupted before anything happens

Taako couldn't care less about what was going on.

The whole crew chattered around him, trying to make sense of what just happened. The shadow--that _thing_ came back, and ate Magnus, but Magnus was fine. Sort of. He had that black eye from his fight a year ago. And Merle had the cut over his eye from that same night, and Barry felt hungover. Lup tore open her jacket and realized she was wearing a different shirt from the one she wore fifteen minutes ago. Everyone else checked their clothes, and sure enough, they were wearing exactly what they had on a year ago--even down to underwear and socks. Taako didn't check. His mind was still working through the loss of everything--why did the ship bring Magnus back, but not Kravitz?

"Do you think it could be a time loop?" Barry asked, buttoning his jacket back up to the neck.

Magnus had his face pressed up against the glass. "The planet down there doesn't look like the last one."

"If this was a time loop, my journals would be reset," Lucretia said, running back into the room with three journals under her arm. When did she leave the room? Everything was a blur around Taako. "They're all still here. All of our belongings seem to have stayed."

Davenport combed through his mustache, completely stumped. "Taako, Lup, what do you think?"

"I don't know." Lup had her arm around Taako's, and her other hand was clasped on his shoulder. Was she holding him this whole time? When had Taako put his arms around her? Time was passing by faster than Taako's brain could catch up, and all he could do was stay along for the ride. At least Lup was _trying_ to comfort him. She was the only one in the room concerned with Taako's whole situation. "Captain, I don't think my brother's in shape to--"

"I'm _fine,_ it was--probably some--fuckin'--" Taako's face scrunched up in the least attractive way possible, and he brought his hands up to cover his face. _"Fuck."_

Lup stood up and brought Taako with her. "Can we have a minute?"

Davenport nodded, and the rest of the crew watched, sympathetic. "Of course, do whatever you need. We'll knock if we learn anything or need your vote for a decision."

"Thanks," she said, and then pushed Taako through the ship towards her room. He wasn't paying any attention to his surroundings, and she had to steer him out of obstacles a few times. She tried to speak to him, but he didn't listen. At some point, she had him sitting on her bed with a glass of water wedged in between his hands. Lup knelt in front of the bed, watching him carefully.

"Taako, c'mon." She didn't move to touch him. The twins knew exactly how to take care of each other, and she knew when to back off. "Talk to me."

He drank down the water all in one gulp, just so he didn't have to speak for a few more precious seconds. "Don't want to."

"You'll have to at some point. Why not now?"

"Not important."

"That's the dumbest lie you've ever told me." Lup stood up in front of him, hands on her hips. "Are you worried about the planet getting destroyed again, or your shitty boyfriend that left you before the apocalypse came back?"

"He's not _shitty--"_ Taako paused, eyes wide. Fuck. Lup could always catch exactly what was wrong. Why would this be any exception? He figured he could say a few things and get it over with, otherwise they'd be here all day. "If he--if he didn't leave, he'd. He'd still be here."

"Well, he _did,_ and he's an ass for doing so." She frowned, mumbling to herself. "If he wasn't eaten by the vore cloud, I would kick his fucking ass."

"I don't think he left on purpose," he said, suddenly hit with the need to defend his boyfriend.

Lup just stared at him. "Really?" she asked, unconvinced.

"I don't _want_ to think that!" He tapped his fingers against the empty glass of water. "But it doesn't make a whole lot of sense in the first place!"

"We've been left before, Taako." She softened up a little and sat next to him on the bed. "I don't like it, but that's how it is sometimes."

"You don't _get_ it, he said--" Taako cursed under his breath, hating his dumb mouth for speaking out of turn. "He wouldn't have said that if he was planning on leaving."

"Said what?"

"He told me he, uh--that he loved me." It was the first time Taako had said it out loud, the first time he admitted it to the air. Hearing it out loud, in his own voice, he wished he had told Kravitz he loved him back. "I said--I said I had to think about it, and then he left, but he--you knew him, he didn't--he wasn't--he wouldn't have--just _left_ like that." Taako turned his head to look at Lup. "Would he?"

"He's an asshole," she said, standing up again and pacing. She could never stand still when she was upset. "I wish I could kill him right now."

"Already done, twice over." Taako flopped over on the bed, exhausted. He felt so many emotions, it was like he just got back from a marathon.

"Hey," Lup said, forcing herself to calm down. "You going to be okay?"

Taako was able to stay composed for all of two seconds before breaking, snapping in half as everything from the past week came crashing down on him. He didn't like to be seen with a face full of tears, even if it was his sister, so he hid his face in his hands, trying not to cry audibly.

"Shit--hey, fuck, Taako, hey..." She sat back down on the bed, holding her arms out. "Shit, come here."

He bailed on the thought of acting fine. They were alone, and nobody was around to see him curl right up into his sister's arms and cry into her shoulder. He didn't think about how ridiculous he looked. She didn't either. They did this enough times to boil it down to a system, an algorithm, a routine. Neither of them cried very often, but when one of them broke it was an ordeal. Lup knew exactly how to comfort him, and he knew how to do the same to her. They'd been in both roles fairly equally. They hadn't done it in a while; ever since they got to the IPRE, they had enough to eat and had good jobs, so there wasn't much to be upset about. Before, they had a lot to cry over, but they still only reached a breaking point a couple of times a decade. It wasn't something they did in public. Lup was the only person Taako trusted to handle him like this.

Maybe he would have been fine doing this next to Kravitz. 

He tried not to think about that too hard.

Eventually, Taako wore himself out and sat up. Lup still had a hold on his back, and the touch was grounding and comforting. He sat there for an unclear amount of time, collecting himself, waiting until his voice steadied and the tremors in his back stopped. Once he was alright, he cast a glamour on his face to hide the puffiness in his eyes and the streaks on his face.

"That didn't happen," he said, pointing directly at Lup.

Lup nodded. "Okay."

"I need a drink." Taako stood up, and his legs shook like he was a newborn deer.

"Understandable." Lup unbuttoned her IPRE jacket and tossed it into a growing pile of clothes next to the bed. "Let me change my shirt first, you snotted all over my jacket."

"Take mine." Taako unbuttoned and threw his jacket over to her. "I'm not going out there in uniform."

"What, and you think I will?" She dropped his jacket into the pile, too. She also dropped the IPRE robe she wore under the jacket, and tore Taako's robe off. Everything that was a part of their uniform went into the gross dirty laundry pile. "Nope, two apocalypses, and that means the dress code is gone. Those're the rules."

"Point taken," he said, and reached for the shirt that Kravitz used when he would stay overnight, too lazy to conjure one of his own.

"Not that one." Lup glared at him. "Sorry, gotta stop that shit before it starts."

"Good idea, I guess." It wasn't a good idea, he thought. Wasn't going to let his sister make him _forget_ about Kravitz. He opened a drawer and tried to slip his shirt in without her noticing.

"Mm-mm, Taako. Come on. Hand it over." Lup extended her hand out, eyebrows raised. "We've done this too many times before, I know you're going to wear that to sleep."

Taako groaned and threw the shirt in her face. "You're no fun."

"I'm helping you get over _yet another_ asshole. You should thank me." Lup peeled the shirt off her face, stared at it for a moment, and then lit it on fire. "You've felt better after a couple weeks every time I've done this."

"'Cause those guys were actually assholes," he mumbled as he watched one of the few remnants of his boyfriend turn to ash. She'd done this with various clothes from his other boyfriends, but this was the only time it felt wrong. He tore his eyes away from the scene and picked out some soft pajamas. No way was he going to look good after all this--he was fine picking comfort over form, with all these chucklefucks on the ship. Taako pulled a large shirt over his head, blank expression the whole time. His sleep shorts were so tiny, it looked like he was only wearing a shirt. But, no, he wasn't going to be out on the ship with his dick out. He had _some_ class.  

"You think it's okay if I go out there untucked? I'm too tired to bother," she said, breaking Taako out of his own thoughts.

"If they have a problem with it, I'll blast them into the next planar system," he answered, with none of the bite he usually put into his threats.

She shrugged. "Magnus showed me his top scars, it's probably fine. Let's get out of here."

Taako followed behind Lup, as was the normal order of the two. The whole crew went quiet when they entered the room, whatever conversation they were in the middle of cut short. Sometimes, Taako would have liked everyone to focus their eyes on him when he entered a room. Today? Hell no, he didn't want anyone to look at him. He didn't need their pity stares. It'd be way better if they went on to speak about...theories, or something, about their situation. At least then, he could pretend to contribute. But he didn't have any plan to deal with _this._

"Are you alright, Taako?" Barry asked, careful with his words. It would be condescending from anyone else, but it was comforting coming out of Barry.

"Fuckin' peachy. Just gonna--pop into the booze reserves, hope that's alright." Taako made a beeline for the lowest cabinet next to the fridge. That was where Davenport had smuggled in some wine and bourbon before the mission started. Turned out to be necessary. Taako grabbed the bourbon, needing the harder stuff for now. "Actually, fuck it, I don't care what any of you think about it."

"It's--fine, feel free." Davenport joined him at the cabinet, grabbing for a bottle of wine and moving to chill it in the fridge. "I may need one too, after that scare."

"Same," Lup said, bringing out seven glasses. "Can we call a mandatory drinking party?"

"Absolutely." Davenport pulled himself up on a barstool, getting as much height as possible. "We can figure this all out tomorrow, I think--I think we all need a bit of time to process this."

The rest of the crew agreed. Lucretia and Barry had to wait with Davenport for the wine to chill, but the rest just wanted _something._ Bourbon was nobody's favorite, but it would do in a pinch. Everyone stayed silent, not asking about Taako. Every time one of them had the thought to ask, Lup glared at them until they closed their mouths. Taako was so relieved she was safe, at least. He wouldn't know what to do without her, even if she burned his boyfriend's shirt and called him an asshole.

No, nope, Taako was going to forget about that. Sure, he didn't think Kravitz was an ass, but he wasn't at the point in his grieving that allowed him to be okay with thinking about the guy.

So Taako didn't think about anything. He ignored the conversation around him and nursed his glass. He _would_ normally be chugging it, but also? It was a little gross. He should have waited with Davenport for the wine. But, no, he wanted to get drunk quicker, because he was _stupid._

Right as Taako managed to get the rest of his bourbon down, a door appeared next to the fridge.

The door was dark mahogany, just a few shades away from pitch black, with silver fixtures and a small viewing hatch. The door and its hatch were both closed, but iridescent silver fog seeped out of all the cracks. Dark feathers and skulls were carved into the wood, barely noticeable unless someone got up very close. The door _definitely_ wasn't there a few seconds ago, and it was clearly magical in nature, but nobody on the crew had summoned it.

"How drunk am I?" Merle asked, squinting at his glass.

Before anybody had the chance to get up and inspect the door, the handle turned. Iridescent silver fog spilled out and billowed onto the floor, circling around the crews' legs. A figure walked out of the door and into the kitchen, still obscured by the fog. They were tall, almost Lucretia's height (which was _impressive,_ nobody was taller than Lucretia), and wearing extremely fancy clothes. A whole three-piece suit and everything, except all black with some faint embroidery to match the door. Looked like someone would have been buried in a suit like that. He had a large tome under his arm, black pages, black cover, silver features--fuck, this person was really sticking to this aesthetic. The whole thing was so goth, Taako expected bats to fly out of the door.

"Hello. Excuse me for barging in," said a voice that was so familiar, it froze the entire crew. He stepped out of the fog enough so that they could see his features. He was human, but with Kravitz' face. His expression stayed neutral as he spoke to them, flipping through his book. "I am an agent sent by the Raven Queen, and I have been assigned to look into the anomalous case of Magnus Burnsides."

The whole crew stared at the man, faces frozen in varying forms of shock.

Taako dropped his glass on the counter, his voice breaking and cracking two octaves higher than it should have. "Kravitz?"

"That is my name, yes." This person--Kravitz _,_ it was _Kravitz_ \--closed his book, keeping his thumb in the pages as a bookmark. He furrowed his brows at Taako, still speaking painfully neutral. "You shouldn't know that, it's privileged information. How did you learn my name?"

"What do you--" Taako sputtered, collecting his thoughts before rambling on like a madman. "What do you mean, how did I learn it? It was, like, the first thing you told me about yourself, that's how _introductions_ work."

He looked around the room, confused, and then laid his eyes back on Taako, confused. "We've never been introduced."

"Yes we have?" Taako stood up, rounding the counter to meet Kravitz. "Scary murder bird in thick fog on a tree stump? Is that ringing any bells?"

Kravitz froze, and then his eyes laid on the bottle of bourbon next to Taako. He spoke over Taako, in Magnus' direction. "I believe your friend has had a little too much to drink."

"I _just_   started, don't--" Taako scoffed, laying a hand on Kravitz' arm and pulling it down until he took Kravitz' hand in his. "C'mon, stop joking, babe."

"Okay, that just crossed about four different boundaries, there." Kravitz snapped his hand away from Taako, held it to his chest, and stepped back four paces. "Why don't you step back and let me do my job, alright?"

Kravitz could have cut Taako's heart into quarters with a set of rusted house keys, and it wouldn't have hurt him as much as those words did.

It took a hell of a lot of self restraint, but Taako sat back down in his seat. He elected to ignore the way he was shaking. Taako thought he should say something more to Kravitz, but no words came out. He felt Lup's arm hook around his back, but it didn't help. He could feel the worried eyes of the rest of the crew on him, and he saw the confused expression Kravitz wore, but those didn't matter.

Lucretia raised her hand like she was in a classroom. Somewhere along the way she had gotten out a journal, writing out this whole exchange. "Wait, I'm confused, too. You don't know who we are, Kravitz?"

"Magnus Burnsides, Andrew Davenport, Sildar Hallwinter, Merle Highchurch, Lucretia, Lup, Taako." He pointed to each member of the crew as he read out their names. He was completely accurate. "You're all in my records, of course I know your names."

"No, we mean--" Magnus gestured to him and the crew, overexaggerated. "Do you _remember_   us?"

Kravitz watched the crew, hesitant. He gripped his book uncomfortably, his teeth grit together. "I have never met any of you."

"Bullshit!" Taako broke out of Lup's grasp and his fist hit the counter. "This isn't funny, Kravitz, you said--" He stopped, shaking, practically pleading up towards Kravitz. "You said we were--you said you were--"

Taako raised his head to look at Kravitz, hoping the eye contact would jog his memory. But Kravitz just stared down at him, expression blank. That was a look Kravitz had never given him. The first time Kravitz showed his face to Taako, he was already smitten with him. They had already fallen hard for each other, even if they hadn't admitted it at the time. He had only seen warmth and love and admiration in Kravitz' eyes before. He didn't recognize the look this Kravitz gave him.

This wasn't Kravitz.

"If this is some kind of prank, it's not funny." Not-Kravitz spoke around Taako, directly to Magnus again. His voice was tight and frustrated. "I've heard a lot of excuses for why someone hasn't checked into the Astral Plane after their death, but having one of your friends pretend to be _involved_ with me is certainly the most creative one."

"Don't act like I'm not here," Taako said, forcing his voice not to break down into a puddle on the floor.

Not-Kravitz turned and saw how upset Taako looked. He calmed down a bit. "I apologize," he said, amending his tone to be a bit more comforting. "I'm being honest, I don't know who you are. I'm only here to do my job. All I need is to speak to Magnus Burnsides about his death."

Magnus stepped forward. "Hold on, are you trying to kill me?"

"No. This is just an anomaly I've been sent to investigate." Not-Kravitz opened his book again, and the pages automatically turned to a page with Magnus' portrait and name printed in bold. The book floated a foot or two away from him, suspended in the air by magic. "None of you have been hostile yet, and this doesn't look like a necromantic cult, so I assume it was some kind of accident. I would like to hear what happened, though, so I can file my report." Not-Kravitz reached forward to pluck the book out of the air and close it. "We can discuss this calmly and rationally."

"Sure." Magnus gestured towards the common area, walking out of the kitchen. "We should sit down."

The crew all took their usual seats. Lup and Taako in the same armchair. Barry in the folding chair next to them. Lucretia at the small writer's desk and chair combo. Magnus and Merle on the couch. Davenport in the other big armchair. Not-Kravitz walked over to the empty spot on the couch, but Taako hissed at him before he could sit down. That was the spot Kravitz took. He used to get so territorial over it. One of his little bird quirks.

"Not there," he said, as menacingly as he could.  

Not-Kravitz looked around the room, exasperated. "There aren't any seats left, where would you prefer I sit?"

Taako spoke through grit teeth. "Just fuckin' stand, _asshole."_

"Taako, please." Davenport pinched the bridge of his nose and took in a sharp breath. "We really need to get this done, can you be civil for five minutes?"

Barry flashed an apologetic smile to Not-Kravitz. "He's uh--he's had a bad week. Sorry about that."

Not-Kravitz nodded, and Taako chose not to notice how graceful and nice he was about this whole situation. "It's alright. I have a bit of a temper as well." He looked around the room, and then at Merle. "Would you mind if we switch seats, Merle Highchurch?"

"Not at all." Merle scooted over and his thigh touched Magnus'. Magnus wasn't the most intelligent man on the planet, but he was smart enough to push Merle away a few inches. Wasn't going to mess with that.

After a glance to Taako to make sure it was acceptable for him to sit in Merle's seat, Not-Kravitz sat down. Over glasses of alcohol (Davenport offered a glass of wine to Not-Kravitz, who happily took it), they tried to explain the situation. The crew told Not-Kravitz the basic facts of their mission, and the disaster that came with it. The way a dark shadow swallowed their home world. How it came back after a year to swallow the haven they landed on. They didn't mention the previous Kravitz, in fear that it would upset Taako. Not-Kravitz stayed quiet during the whole explanation, although he did look a bit confused. Understandable. It was a confusing situation.

"That's quite the predicament you're in," he said, his voice tired. "You don't know what caused Magnus to be pulled back onto the ship?"

Davenport shook his head. "No, we're not sure."

"I think it was the bond engine," Barry said, desperate to cut in with his own theories. "But I don't have any proof of that yet."

"I _did_ die, I know it. I felt it." Magnus looked down at his own hands, worried and hurt. "But--Kravitz, I swear, I didn't do it on purpose. You have my word on that. Is there any way you can waive my sentence, or make it shorter?"

"Well, none of you seem...malicious." Not-Kravitz finished his glass of wine and opened his book, flipping through the pages manually. No need for fancy magic. "Why don't I keep an eye on you for a while? Think of it like a probation. If this was a one-time accident, I think I can petition forgiveness to the Queen."

"I think that can work," Davenport said, his mustache puffing out as he smiled.

Magnus smiled, too. "Thank you, Kravitz."

"One condition." Lup swung her foot on the coffee table, hateful eyes pointed directly at Not-Kravitz. "You stay the _fuck_ away from my brother."

Taako sighed, exhausted. "Lup--"

"I mean it." She pointed at him, and her finger lit on fire. "I will make your life a living hell if you even _breathe_ near him."

Not-Kravitz blinked. He looked to Taako. And then to Lup. And then to Taako again. Gears were turning in his mind, but Taako wasn't sure what he was working through. Eventually, he squeaked out a quiet, "understood," standing up and walking away from the common area. "I should be leaving, I need to report this encounter to the Raven Queen. I will be back tomorrow, Magnus, so please don't try and run off."

Magnus smiled. "I wouldn't dream of it."

With a nod and one last round of goodbyes to the rest of the crew, Not-Kravitz summoned another door from hell into the wall of their ship. He walked through, giving a shy little wave as he exited.

"I'm going to kill him," Lup said, holding Taako close.

He only hummed in response, unable to summon the energy to fight her.

* * *

Taako did his best to forget about Not-Kravitz after that.

He kept to Lup's condition, and Taako didn't see very much of him. He saw brief glimpses of him walking out of the corner of his eye. He heard his voice off in Magnus' room sometimes. Lup grumbled about his presence, but didn't give Taako many descriptions of him.

Taako was often left alone on the Starblaster. Because of his intense grieving at the beginning of the year, the whole crew thought it was safer for him to stay on the ship. This was a shame, because, according to the rest of the crew, there was actually a diverse civilization on the planet. At first, they didn't leave him alone. Lup, Merle, or Magnus would stay behind. Lup told him about the planet, strategically left Not-Kravitz out of the conversation, and lifted Taako's mood. Merle was...Merle. Magnus stayed some days at Not-Kravitz' request, but they would spend most of their time together, speaking about Magnus' condition. Taako didn't see them as much. But as time passed and Taako's mood stabilized, the crew left him to his own devices more often.

It was fine. Taako was fine with the silence and the lack of people and the boredom.

Not-Kravitz kept his distance when it was just Taako on the ship. Sometimes he'd stay on the ship, and Taako could hear his footsteps. Part of Magnus' probation required that Not-Kravitz stay on the ship a few hours in the day to make sure he didn't leave the planar system. When he knew Not-Kravitz was there, Taako would leave out some food. He knew he didn't eat, but if he was anything like Kravitz, he should have been able to. And Taako was never good at making food for one person--a lifetime growing up with Lup made him more suited to cooking portions in even numbers. Leaving the extras out for Not-Kravitz was just smart; didn't want to waste food.

And then there'd be a note passed under his door thanking him for the food.

And then Taako would pass another note in a room he knew Not-Kravitz was in, asking if he had requests.

And then a note would pass under the kitchen door, assuring Taako the food wasn't necessary, but he did enjoy sweets.

Unrelated: Taako did a lot of baking when he was alone.

Otherwise, he did a lot of work in the labs. Barry would drop off information that might help them figure out what happened, and Taako would hole himself inside trying to make sense of it all. This process would have gone by faster if Lup and Barry were here with him to bounce ideas off of, but he'd have to just...deal with it. That was fine. Taako was an adult, he could deal with being alone. And, if his thoughts were occupied with finding a solution to this-- _phenomenon,_ then he'd have less time to worry about Kravitz and Not-Kravitz. And it worked, for the most part. He'd still have moments where he would be immobilized by thoughts of Kravitz, and then he'd hear Not-Kravitz' voice from the other room and that would make it worse. But, on the whole, it was okay.

When it wasn't okay, Taako would get another note from Not-Kravitz slid under the door, asking if he was well. Taako would curse to himself, realize he was crying again (unfair, crying multiple times in a decade--and without his sister next to him), and then slip a note saying he was fine under the door.

And that was a distraction from his work, which was supposed to be a distraction from Not-Kravitz. But it wasn't entirely unwelcome.

But, also, Taako needed to focus.

So, first thing they realized. The Light of Creation? That cool thing that helped them build the Starblaster? It was in the previous planet, too. And this one. Merle saw it fall off in the distance. The crew's first priority was to find it so they could study it. Maybe that would be the answer to their problems. But, until Taako got the Light in front of him, he wouldn't be able to help with that. Until then, he figured it was a good idea to look over how the magic in this plane worked. It didn't seem too different from the previous plane and their home planet, but there were a few little technical differences. Only noticeable if you were studying the mechanics behind them. That was nice, at least. The rest of the crew could cast magic without learning an entirely new skillset.

One afternoon while Taako poured over a stack of books Lup found in an arcane library on this plane, he heard the vaguely familiar sound of an extra door appearing in the Starblaster. He heard footsteps, a few muttered phrases like, "excuse me, is anybody present?" and some curses. Taako closed the tome he was in the middle of deciphering and stepped outside the lab. He couldn't focus anyway. He stepped outside the lab and walked to the common room, to the source of the voice.

He saw Not-Kravitz in full view for the first time in a couple months. Sure enough, Taako hadn't been hallucinating--he looked _exactly_ like Kravitz, but just in the face. He was fully human here, not a rushed patchwork of the crew. Didn't have Merle's beard, lost some of the soft edges he borrowed from Barry, and his ears weren't like Davenport's anymore. His frame was narrower than Magnus' and he didn't have the ethereal elven-like aura. Instead of wearing his hair like Lucretia's, in natural coils that stuck close to his skull, he had them pulled out in long dreads that came to his shoulders.

Not-Kravitz looked a bit flustered by Taako's sudden appearance, but straightened his back out and acted like this was normal. And. It wasn't. Despite their brief conversations through notes, they hadn't interacted much. Poor guy was probably terrified--he had multiple orders from Lup to stay away from Taako, or risk punishment of...another death? Was Not-Kravitz dead? That was unclear.

"If you're looking for Magnus, he's out on an expedition with the rest of the crew," Taako said, keeping his voice a bit cold, but casual. It still hurt to look at Not-Kravitz, because then he'd think of Kravitz again, and that was just...a whole can of worms, right there. He made peace with the fact that they weren't the same person, but the resemblances were uncanny. Same face, same voice, same _job._   Taako had the right to be a little freaked out.

It took a moment for Not-Kravitz to answer, as if he was judging if it was okay for him to speak. "Ah. Well. Thank you." He didn't make any action to move, just stood there. Fidgeting in the common room.

Taako crossed his arms. "Got something to say to him? I can pass a message along."

"Just wanted to speak to him about his--" Not-Kravitz scrunched his face up, confused, and Taako didn't think about how cute that looked. "His condition?"

"Well, you can just talk to me." Taako sat himself down in his regular spot. It wasn't as cozy without Lup, but it was nice to stretch his legs out on the chair. "I'm familiar with the _situation,_ I can fill in some of the blanks."

"Your sister will be unhappy if she learns I've spoken to you."

"Lup can get over it," he said, dismissive, and made a fart noise with his tongue. "They've kept me contained on this ship for a year, I should be able to negotiate Magnus' life in exchange."

"His life isn't up for negotiation." Not-Kravitz glanced briefly at Kravitz' seat, and instead sat at Lucretia's spot. Threw Taako off a bit that he remembered not to sit there, but he appreciated the sentiment. "We've chalked it up to a blip in the system, and he's free to go."

"Perfect, cool." Taako waited for Not-Kravitz to go on, but after a minute of silence, he realized that was it. He also realized Not-Kravitz was staring at him. "Hold up, is that it? That's all you needed to say?"

Not-Kravitz hesitated, his eyes wide. "Yes," he admitted, suddenly very interested in inspecting his shoes.

Taako leaned forward in his chair. "Why are you still here, then? Couldn't you have left a note?"

"Would your sister mind--" Not-Kravitz paused, and then shook his head. "Actually, I don't know if that matters at this point. I assume you can decide for yourself. Would _you_ mind if I asked you a few questions?"

He thought about it. He really did. Sure, talking to Not-Kravitz stirred up some horrible feelings in his chest, but. But. Also, some good feelings were mixed in there, too. And: bullshit. That was bullshit, it should have been. Right? But, fuck it. Taako was bored, Taako was tired of being isolated on the ship, and he was still mad that Lup burned Kravitz' shirt up. This was revenge.

And, since this wasn't Kravitz, there wasn't any reason he should stay away. It was just like talking to a stranger. A new person. Taako could deal with that.

"Fine. Sure. Why the hell not?" Taako clapped his hands together once and reclined himself in his seat. "Go ahead, anything's fair game."

Not-Kravitz smiled, and Taako chose to ignore the warm buzzing feeling around his heart when he saw that. "Why does your sister want me to stay away from you?"

"Oof." Taako rested both hands on his knees. "You go right for the throat, don't you?"

"I don't see any use in delaying my questions." Not-Kravitz shrugged.

"Fair enough. Makes this pretty quick, actually, it's easier that way." Taako took a few steadying breaths, wondering how much he should let on. It was probably best to stay vague. It might freak Not-Kravitz out if he learned that he had a doppelganger in another plane. "I lost my boyfriend."

"Oh, I'm sorry." Not-Kravitz stayed quiet, thinking carefully. This was a delicate subject. He seemed to care about Taako's feelings, and did his best not to upset him. "But what does that have to do with me?"

"You just--" Taako's breath caught in his throat. It was getting more difficult to look Not-Kravitz in the eye. "Remind me of him, I guess."

Not-Kravitz let out a small _ah-hah,_ putting the rest of the pieces together himself. "So _that's_   what that was all about. You mistook me for him."

Taako chose to ignore the wide-eyed, curious way Not-Kravitz stared at him. Fuck, even his expressions looked like Kravitz'. "Something like that."

He tilted his head to the side. "We had the same name?"

"Yeah," Taako said, brows furrowing. That was...kind of a bird-ish action. Not-Kravitz kind of had that vibe about him, now that Taako was paying attention.

"And he looked like me?"

"Just in the face. He wasn't human."

"Huh." Not-Kravitz spent a couple more minutes, sitting there in silence and watching Taako carefully. And--well, Taako wasn't an idiot. He saw Kravitz with that same look on his face hundreds of times. Not-Kravitz--or, probably more accurately, New Kravitz--was into him. And that realization...it didn't scare Taako as much as he thought it would. "Well, thank you for answering. That's all I needed to hear. No use in dredging up tender feelings on your end."

"Thanks." Taako sat there, a little restless upon realizing that New Kravitz was checking him out.  "You heading out?"

"Yes." New Kravitz stood from his seat. "Please let Mr. Burnsides know that he's free to go."

Taako gave a little hum in response. He planned on letting New Kravitz leave without even a little wave goodbye, but. Taako was never good at restraining himself. "Hey," he asked, standing out of his seat. "Did you want to talk 'cause it was really for business, or...was this for pleasure?"

"A little bit of both, if I'm being honest." Son of a bitch, he wasn't even thrown by the question. New Kravitz was already head over heels for him, and...Taako wasn't sure what to do with that. "May I see you again?" he asked, hopeful and patient. "Not for business."

"Uh, dude, I'm--"

"I'm not trying to replace the person you lost, please don't think that." New Kravitz wrung his hands together, not upset so much as he was nervous. "If you don't want me around, I'll leave, no questions asked. But I have to admit that I feel...drawn? To you?"

"I'll call you." And Taako was content to leave it at that, except... "I'll, uh. Have to figure out _how_ , but I'm sure I can."

"Right! Um. Just knock." He demonstrated the process, just a little knocking motion in the air. "Like this. I'll hear it."

Taako repeated it to make sure he got it right, and New Kravitz made a door appear right next to him. "Oh, cool trick," he said, walking forward to study the door.

"Thank you." New Kravitz opened the door, and Taako couldn't see past it. The inside might not have been visible to mortals, or maybe Kravitz' quarters were just really, _really_ dark. "Take as much time as you need, alright?"

"Alright."

"I'll be off," he said, and closed the door as he walked through it. "I can't wait to see you again."

"Yeah." Taako nodded to the air. The door disappeared. "Same here."

* * *

He considered not calling New Kravitz. 

The voice at the back of his head told him it'd be too weird. He was too similar to Kravitz. But maybe that wasn't a bad thing? Taako missed Kravitz _a lot,_ more than he'd dare to admit to anyone that wasn't Lup. It wouldn't be the same as dating Kravitz, but it might be better than being alone and sad about losing him. And, really, a face like that was too good to pass up. It took him a week, but he knocked. New Kravitz came to see him immediately after. They set up a meeting, strictly for pleasure, together. Alone. Was it a date? Taako didn't know. He didn't really care, either--if it was a date, then, _cool,_ he'd get to kiss New Kravitz. If it wasn't a date...well, that'd probably be less awkward. It was a win-win situation.

He didn't tell Lup. He knew he couldn't, because she'd knock New Kravitz into a pit of lava. But that was her own damn fault for leaving him alone so often. If she didn't want him getting it on with New Kravitz, she should actually be here to make sure it didn't happen!

Anyway, it wasn't like Taako was going to do anything scandalous with him right now. Just wanted to hang out with him. Have the illusion of a social life. Date or no date, this was meeting number one--he didn't trust enough to do anything too serious at first contact. Too risky.

Taako asked him to drop by when he knew the rest of the crew would be out for the whole day. They were planning on finding the Light of Creation, seeing if they could get it back to the ship to study it. Taako _was_ supposed to be working, but...he could do that later, he thought, as he watched Death's door appear before him. New Kravitz walked through, dressed just as beautifully as he always was.

"Hm, someone's late," Taako teased, his grin wide enough to touch both his ears. He stepped up and ran a finger under New Kravitz' chin--sort of an accident. He remembered Kravitz loving that, and acted on instinct. Whoops. But New Kravitz took in a sharp breath at the contact (did he even need to breathe?) and Taako could see his knees turn to jelly.

Nice, Taako could have a lot of fun riling this one up.

"I'm--sorry, I--" New Kravitz froze, the goofiest smile plastered on his face. His hand reached up to touch the spots where Taako ran his fingers along. "Work ran a little long."

"You can make it up to me with a high enough compliment to conversation ratio." Taako turned around and dropped his ass in his chair, watching as New Kravitz picked a spot. He still avoided Kravitz' spot. Considerate. Taako wondered if he deserved that.

"I wouldn't know where to start with the compliments," New Kravitz said, settling into the seat Magnus usually took, "there's so much I'd like to cover."

Taako snapped his fingers and pointed at New Kravitz. "Smart answer."

He shrugged. "Just being honest."

"Hmm. I like you." Taako grinned, his chin resting on his fist.

New Kravitz chuckled and shook his head. "You're ridiculous."

"Hey, now, that doesn't sound like a compliment," Taako teased.

"I meant it in a good way." New Kravitz grinned, his hands laced together in his lap. "You're cute."

_"I'm--"_   Taako couldn't stop his eyes from widening or his ears from shooting straight up, so he had to hope that New Kravitz didn't notice it. He coughed to level out his voice. "Pssh, that is. That is absolute horseshit." He wasn't sure why being called cute threw him off so much. It wasn't even a _good_ compliment. It could be derogatory. But it didn't sound like that coming out of New Kravitz. Taako needed to calm himself down and switch the topic before New Kravitz could fluster him further. "Hey, why don't you--uh--"

New Kravitz leaned forward, teasingly repeating him. "Why don't I...?"

"Uh. I guess. We..." _Shit,_ why was this reducing Taako to verbal fillers? It was just a simple compliment. He didn't even like being called cute. "We can't really go _out,_ since I've got to stay on the ship, but. I could make dinner," he said, finally, all in a rush.

"If it's as delicious as everything you've left out on the counter, I would love that." New Kravitz stood, and offered a hand to help Taako up. "It'd be nice to watch you in action."

Despite all of Taako's inner thoughts screaming at him not to take the hand, he took it. He was chilled, just like Kravitz used to be, but solid. He helped Taako to his feet. Once he was stable, he brought Taako's hand to his mouth and kissed the knuckle like this was an old-timey sock hop. And just the soft brush of his lips against his hand sent a powerful course of electricity through Taako, a familiar feeling. He'd pushed it down for months before, but he recognized it clearly. It was the same feeling he got every time Kravitz smiled, or sassed him in the middle of a question, or when they both stood opposite from each other, staring for just a few seconds too long.

Oh.

Oh, _shit._

Taako had a crush on New Kravitz.

That really...hm. No. That wasn't supposed to happen. Taako was the one who was supposed to tease _him,_ not the other way around. He really wasn't planning on New Kravitz being just as flirtatious as he was. He expected Old Kravitz. Cute and curious and generally unknowing of normal romantic customs. This Kravitz knew what he was doing--he was suave, and a little cocky, and. Kind of hot??

This was going to be a problem.

Because, if Taako had a _crush,_ that meant that he was _emotionally involved_ and he'd have to...actually get in a relationship with New Kravitz. Well, he wouldn't have to. But he'd want to.

He took a breath and got to cooking. Asked New Kravitz what sorts of dishes were popular on the surface of the planet. It took a few minutes, but he managed to get a recipe out of New Kravitz' nonsensical description. Soup was very popular this time of year (apparently it was cold outside--Taako wouldn't know, cooped up this whole time), and even though it was simple, Taako knew how to make it shine. Did a few tricks to impress New Kravitz--fuck it, if he was going to do this, he was going to go all out. New Kravitz watched him closely, only interrupting him to ask questions about his technique after some more impressive maneuvers. Eventually, when Taako brought up a wooden spoon to taste the soup, New Kravitz asked if he could also check it. Against Taako's better judgment (and after pushing away the thought of New Kravitz getting an indirect kiss from the spoon--what _was_ this, third grade?) he held out the spoon over the counter. New Kravitz had to lean himself over to get a taste, and Taako did his _very best_ not to watch his lips on the spoon.

Thankfully, the moment didn't last very long, because Kravitz got hit in the face with a frying pan.

Taako swiveled around to see Lup, holding their fanciest _cast iron_ pan like a baseball bat (he wondered if the undead could suffer from concussions). She heaved out a few breaths, angrier than Taako had seen her in years. Barry cupped a ball of light a few feet behind her, wide-eyed and afraid (and...infatuated? Taako would have to circle back to that later).

"What the _fuck_ did I tell you?" she asked, readying herself for another swing.

Taako tried to hold her back. "Lup--"

She stepped in between Taako, the counter, and New Kravitz. She rounded the counter, going after New Kravitz. "You're fucking _dead,_ Ghost Rider."

He didn't stay for very long. New Kravitz formed a door out of thin air and ran through it, not even saying goodbye. Taako didn't blame him. His sister _was_ terrifying. It was smarter for him to run before she got a hold of him. Lup let out a strangled noise of frustration and inspected Taako, making sure nothing was wrong. And. Sure, it was nice to have a sister that cared about him, that was great, he could be just as fussy over her, but this was ridiculous.

"We, uh." Barry was visibly sweating, not sure if he should cut in. He held out his hands, nervously smiling. "We got the Light!"

"Great, very cool." Taako felt Lup's stare on the back of his head, and tried his best to stay calm. "Uh, put it in the lab? We can take a look at it in a minute."

"Yeah, I'll...I'll meet you in there." Barry ran towards the labs, but stopped once more before leaving the kitchen. "The rest of the crew isn't coming back for a while."

"Cool," Taako said, even though that wasn't very cool. Now Lup could kick his ass without any witnesses. _Great._

Lup waited until Barry left the room before going off on a tirade. "What the fuck was he doing here?" She slammed the frying pan on the stovetop and started throwing vegetables inside. Angry cooking. Oh, so that's how it was going to be. "I threatened him, like, eight times! Fuck. He's stupid."

Taako carefully went back to working at his own pot. "You threatened him eight times?"

"I lost count somewhere along the way." She reached into the cabinet and threw some spices over the pot. It was mostly muscle memory to her at this point, she wouldn't mess up just because she was pissed. "I thought Magnus was off the hook, why was he _back_ here?"

"Not a clue," he said, and hoped that sounded convincing enough.

Something clicked in her brain and she turned to look at Taako suspiciously. "You were feeding him."

He shrugged. "He looked hungry."

"He doesn't eat." Lup squinted, leaning in closer to Taako, hoping she could see through his bullshit if she looked hard enough. "Did you invite him here?"

"Oh, hey, look, I've got--I've got some. Uh. Some leftovers. Here." Taako turned off his burner and ladled out a bowl of soup, nudging it on the counter near her. "Get 'em if you want 'em, 'cause I'd bet Auntie's secret scone recipe on Magnus eating them if you don't."

"Did you invite him here?" she asked again, more insistent this time.

"Oh, hey, maybe ask Barold if he wants any." Taako went to pour himself a bowl. "Does he like soup? He seems like a soup man."

"Taako."

"M-hmm?"

_"Taako."_

He could only lie to his sister for long enough, he guessed. "Okay _fine,_ yes, I invited him here." Lup glared at him like he had just murdered Davenport right in front of her. "Don't give me that look."

Lup's frown became more severe. "I'm giving you that look."

"Stop it." Taako pushed at her face.

"Don't--" Lup smacked his hand away. Taako smacked her hand. They kept smacking each other, not meant to do any damage. Lup pushed him away after a minute, tired of the whole thing. _"Okay!_ Okay, this is. This is stupid."

Taako smacked her arm. "You're stupid."

_"You're--_ "  Lup stopped, let out some weird hybrid between an annoyed groan and a pleading whine. She slammed her hand on the counter, and the sound echoed through the whole kitchen. "Alright, care to tell me which horny bad-decisions demon haunted my brother for long enough to invite _some dude that looks a lot like your shitty ex_ over for dinner?"

"Probably the same horny bad-decisions demon that caused you to date _Greg Grimaldis_ for half a month."

"He kept paying for dinner, why wouldn't I have?" She paused, and then frowned. "Well. I guess he was paying for dinner with _my_ fifteen dollars, but. I didn't know that at the time." Her ears shot all the way up and she smacked Taako again. "Hey, wait a minute, fuck you! This isn't about me."

Taako elected to ignore her. He didn't need advice, or warning, or anything. He knew what he was doing and Lup would just have to get over it.

"It's a bad idea," Lup said, a little quieter. A little bit more worry in her voice. "I don't know what you're thinking but I know it's bad."

"I just want to see if he's the same person."

"He's not." She shook her head, going for a softer approach. "Don't hurt yourself."

"I'm fine." He turned around and grinned at her. "I'm just going to fuck with him. Maybe fuck _with_ him. Never got that far with bird boy. Didn't even know what kissing was, fucking would have been a huge thing to unpack, there."

Lup's whole face scrunched up, like Taako had held rotting garbage in front of her. "Aaaaaaand you've lost me--I'm _not_ talking to my brother about his goddamn sex life." She turned back to her pan, and dropped the subject after that. Good. Taako didn't need her butting in anyway.

* * *

After the fiasco with Lup, it took New Kravitz a couple days to come back. But, once he did, he was excited to see Taako again. They agreed that New Kravitz should only visit when Lup was out of the ship. And he did visit. A lot. A couple times a week, whenever he could. His work hours were strange, given his strange job, but Taako didn't mind. 

The door materializing in Taako's room wasn't familiar yet, but Taako wasn't surprised by it either. The fog didn't appear since the first time, which led him to believe that New Kravitz only did it for the drama before. Taako could totally get behind that, though. New Kravitz stepped through the door, holding something behind his back.

"Hello, Taako," he said, wearing a fond smile.

Taako jumped out of his seat to meet New Kravitz. "Someone got off early, huh?"

His shoulders came up near his ears and he smiled again, more shy this time. "Actually, I was off all day today."

"And you didn't come see me?" Taako put on a fake pout, and then rested the back of his hand against his forehead. "I'm devastated."

New Kravitz laughed, and the sound was better than music to Taako's ears.

"I wanted to put this together for you." He took his hands out from behind his back. He held a vibrant, blue-violet lily in his hand. Taako wasn't even sure if that was a color found in nature--it looked artificially dyed, but maybe that's how the flowers were on this plane. New Kravitz held out the flower to Taako, offering it to him. "It's suspended in time, right after I cut it. It won't ever wilt."

"Wow." Taako reached forward and took the lily, inspecting it with awe. A quick cast of detect magic showed that yes, a subtle magical aura bounced off the lily, but it wasn't very much. The scientist part of Taako's brain lit up, the part that he tried very hard to hide from people who weren't his coworkers. "What sort of magic's powering this?"

"I suppose the same kind that's powering me." New Kravitz' hand hovered just above Taako's shoulder as he leaned forward. They watched the flower together, faces inches apart. Taako hadn't yet kissed New Kravitz, but the warm look on his face and this whole situation was quite the incentive. "I'm not alive, but I'm not dead either. That's the state this flower is in."

"Huh, interesting." Taako ran his thumb along one of the petals. It was soft, and fresh, and it was kind of amazing that it would stay like that forever. "Think I can get the full rundown of how this works?"

"In more detail? Of course." New Kravitz leaned his face forward, hesitated, and then straightened himself out. He couldn't be more obvious if he tried. But even though Taako wanted to press his lips to New Kravitz' and get it over and done with, he also wanted to see how long it took for him to take initiative. "But maybe later? That might be too dense of a discussion for a date."

Taako grinned. So these _were_ dates, at least in New Kravitz' mind. Maybe in his mind, too. "That's fine. But, uh, thanks. For the present. 'S pretty." He slipped the lily behind his ear. New Kravitz reached his hand up to caress it, and Taako saw his hand disappear out of his peripheral vision. He pushed the thought of New Kravitz with his hands in his hair down into the depths of his mind.

"Well, it had to match you," he said, voice low and eyes staring straight past Taako's bullshit and into the most honest parts of him.

"You, uh--you sure know how to compliment a guy, don't you?" Taako looped a finger through New Kravitz' tie and pulled him towards his bed. It wasn't an invitation to do anything sexual. It was an action out of necessity, since the bed was the only piece of furniture they could sit on in the room. "C'mere."

New Kravitz didn't have much choice but to follow, since Taako was using his tie like a leash. But something about the way he looked at Taako told him that he would have followed even if he wasn't pulled against his own will. They both sat at the end of the bed, side by side.

Taako wasn't usually one to initiate conversation, but he found himself curious about New Kravitz. Always wanted to know more. "So what'd you do before working for ol' R.Q.?"

"Please don't call her that," he said, holding back a chuckle. "And, nothing, I suppose. I was built for this job."

"Built? Wait, hold on, so you didn't ever live?"

He shook his head. "Not that I remember," he said, a little bit sad.

Huh, that was... _huh._

That was pretty similar to what Kravitz said when asked about his past. Probably just a coincidence.

"How long've you been doing this for?"

"I'm not sure?" New Kravitz leaned back on his palms, staring up at the ceiling as he thought. "Maybe a few centuries. But my memories are a bit fuzzy from before this past year. I'm sure the Queen clears out unneeded memories of her servants. I've never really thought about it."

Talk about déjà vu. Most of New Kravitz' answers sounded suspiciously like Original Kravitz' answers to the same questions. Taako wondered if there were differences once he dug deep enough, or if New Kravitz and Old Kravitz were the same.

And if they _were_ the same...what would that mean?

Taako needed more data.

"Hold on, if you were made specifically for this job, then why do you have free will, and all of that?" He leaned forward, squinting up at New Kravitz. "Wouldn't it be more efficient if you were just, some kind of death robot?"

"Gods and Goddesses live for immeasurably long amounts of time. I'm sure it would get boring if all her servants were completely obedient." New Kravitz fiddled with his tie, and when the light caught it in the right place, Taako could see the sigil of the Raven Queen embroidered on. "The Raven Queen has a bit of a maternal streak, especially when it comes to her emissaries."

"Huh. Wasn't expecting that."

"She is full of surprises." New Kravitz smiled, as he often did when speaking of his goddess. But then his smile turned a bit warmer, and he stared right at Taako. "As are you."

Taako had heard New Kravitz sneak in enough of these phrases over the weeks, and wasn't as flustered by them anymore. They still sent sparks of electricity through him, but he was more well-equipped to handle them. "Oh, please, keep telling me how wonderful I am."

"There aren't enough words to describe how wonderful you are." Very carefully, giving Taako ample time to pull away if he needed, New Kravitz took his chin in his hands. His thumb rested in the divot just above Taako's chin. "I could try another method, if you would be alright with that."

"I like where your mind's at." Taako grinned and tilted his chin up, bringing New Kravitz' hand with it. "Why don't you show me what you have planned?"

New Kravitz smiled. "If you insist," he said, leaning forward to slot both of their lips together.

First Kravitz didn't even know what kissing _was_ before Lup clued him in on it. So the first time Taako kissed him, he enjoyed it purely because he liked him. The technique may have been shit, but Taako was so pent up at that point, he would have settled for kissing him in his bird form. But _this--_ a Kravitz that knew what he was doing, and could do it well--Taako crumbled in his arms, lost in the sensation of it. Second Kravitz could have been a complete stranger and Taako would still be totally into this kiss. Ten out of ten technique.

But, also, there was something extra there--momentarily, it felt like Kravitz had never left in the first place, that he was _right here,_ waiting to hear Taako's response to a quick _I love you._ And it felt like he didn't mind that Taako couldn't say it yet. It felt like he was about to leave. Taako forgot, just for a moment, that the apocalypse came again. And he forgot, for a second, that this wasn't Kravitz he was kissing.

Or maybe it was.

He hadn't ironed that one out yet.

"Kravitz," he said, too familiar, as if he were addressing First Kravitz, and not Second Kravitz.

"Taako, that was--" Second Kravitz stared at him in awe, torn between kissing him again and finishing his sentence. "How did you do that?"

"Do what?" he asked, too fucking dazed to really comprehend what Second Kravitz was trying to say.

"No--nothing." He held Taako's head in his hands. "Do you mind if I--"

"Oh, _please,_ go ahead." Taako brought himself closer to Second Kravitz, unable to hold back the smile that broke out on his face. "That was fucking amazing."

"It was," he said, in awe. "You are," he said in a single breath, kissing him again with even more skill than before.

It was as if Kravitz had never left him.

* * *

Things were great after that. 

It was sort of an inevitability, really, the way they fell back into their old routine. Taako was smitten with Kravitz, and Kravitz absolutely fell head over heels for him. It was convenient, that they could pick back up where they left off (considering both Kravitzes were the same).

(They had to be, or else Taako would lose his mind.)

Taako and Kravitz spent a lot of time together. Like they did before. And Taako didn't think he was any different than the Kravitz from last year. Because, honestly, this _was_ Kravitz. Everything he said was consistent with the previous Kravitz. Everything was the same--except he wasn't a bird most of the time. He was just a human. And in some ways, that was a bit disappointing. But in most ways, it made things a little easier.

It was certainly easier for Taako to think about him as hot that way.

They normally spent their alone time together in deep conversation that would eventually fall into languid kisses, and then laughter, and then more conversation. This cycle repeated until Kravitz had to leave on a bounty or until a member of the crew came back. But, this time, Taako felt like he could run his fingers under Kravitz' jacket, try to find all the clasps and buttons that would free him from it (they made clothes a little bit differently in this planet than they did on their home planet). Kravitz stopped him with one hand pressed to his heart and another cupping his cheek. Taako pulled his hands away, kept them to himself. Asked if it was a mistake. Kravitz shook his head, enthusiastically declaring his wish to take it further, but suggested they move out of the common room.

The two found themselves in Taako's room, shedding clothes after every kiss and bite and marked flesh. That was a perk of this Kravitz--he didn't have to get used to his human body, he'd been in it for as long as he could remember. He knew exactly how to kiss, where to put his hands, what dirty phrases to whisper in Taako's ear to send shivers down his spine. It was cute when Original Kravitz was innocent and flustered, but _this--_ this was exciting. Taako wasn't sure he even wanted to go all the way with this, but a little fooling around couldn't hurt. Kravitz was a decent person, he'd stop as soon as Taako got uncomfortable.

"You're-- _fuck,_ how many layers are you _wearing?"_   Taako asked, pulling a hoodie off his head and throwing it across the room.

"It's a suit. There are a lot of parts." Kravitz finally removed his waistcoat and sat there with only a dress shirt and pants on. He paused to appreciate Taako's half-bare form, and Taako could _see_ his thoughts blurring and scattering from the sight. "And those are tough words coming from a man who just had to remove a pajama shirt that was _over top_ a hoodie."

Taako laid back, enjoying the world's least performative strip tease. Kravitz wasn't trying to put on a show, but Taako thought everything he did was attractive at this point. Maybe Taako was just wound up and desperate. He tipped his head back into the pillow. "Don't judge my comfort needs. I liked to be wrapped in a soft fabric burrito."

"It just seems excessive," Kravitz said, unbuttoning his shirt.

He rolled his eyes. "Says the guy that wears a _waistcoat_ to comfy stay-in dates."

"Hmm." Kravitz grinned, moving above Taako and straddling him. He leaned down to press a heated kiss onto his lips, his shirt just hanging off him, half-open with not enough skin exposed. "You've never complained before," he whispered teasingly against Taako's lips.

"Because it was hot before. Less hot when I actually have to take it off." Taako slipped off Kravitz' shirt, careful as he moved the sleeves around his arms. He threw the shirt across the room and admired the new expanse of skin. He leaned up to kiss at Kravitz' clavicle, laughing as Kravitz shuddered and dropped to the side in surprise. Taako's lips skittered across Kravitz' shoulder as he fell, his face right next to Kravitz' left bicep, and--

"What's that?" Taako asked, staring at Kravitz' arm with a blank expression on his face.

"Oh, this mark?" Kravitz tilted his left bicep forward to look at it. It looked like a tattoo, but the color wasn't embedded into his skin as much as it was just...magically affixed to the top of it. "I'm not sure, it just appears on my arm whenever I take this form. Can't get rid of it." He shrugged, content with leaving that as the end of the conversation, and leaned forward to continue his work of taking Taako apart with his lips.

"Can I see?" Taako asked, ducking away from the kiss.

"I guess?" Kravitz squirmed, a bit impatient and a little put out that Taako took a detour away from their work. He sat upright and held his arm out to Taako. "Here."

Taako placed his fingers under the mark to inspect it. Two thin and elaborate white bands. Circles in between the bands, all encircling his arm and evenly spaced together. Some circles were blue, some were red, some were white. Exactly the same as Kravitz #1's tattoo.

Except, there were fourteen circles, not thirteen.

One extra blue circle after the group of white ones.

"It's the same," Taako said under his breath as his fingers crawled around the band.

Kravitz blinked down at him, confused. "The same as what?"

Taako couldn't really answer that without springing his whole idea out in the open. From Kravitz' perspective--especially since he couldn't remember anything from the previous year--Taako's theory was crazy. But the similarities between the two Kravitzes were too close to deny. This was the nail in the coffin (pun absolutely intended). Taako felt confident that he could disclose this information to Kravitz without freaking him out. He had enough evidence. "This is going to sound weird, I know, but just--listen to me, alright?" 

"Okay..." Kravitz sat up, and Taako followed him so he was sitting in his lap.

"Remember when I said you had the same name as my last boyfriend? And that you looked similar?"

Kravitz immediately frowned, not liking where this was heading at all. "Yes, and I also remember discussing that--that I wasn't trying to replace him."

"Well, no, that's--just--okay, listen to this." Taako paused for dramatic effect, and then prodded a couple times at Kravitz' arm. "He had the same tattoo."

"He _what?"_

"Yeah, check it, same place, same look. Only difference is, like, one extra dot." Taako counted the dots again to make sure he was correct. Yeah. Just one extra blue dot.

"Um." Kravitz used his hand to cover his tattoo. "Taako, I. I'm a bit freaked out by that." He refused to look Taako in the eye. "I didn't choose this mark, it's just something that's affixed to my soul."

Taako smiled wide, leaning in closer. "That's what he said, too!"

"I don't--" Kravitz scooted away from Taako, shaking his head. "I don't like that."

"No, wait, come on!" Taako crawled back towards him. No, this was fine, this was great. He'd just have to convince him. "Kravitz, c'mere, it's not a big deal--I mean, I guess it is, because maybe it means, means that you're the same person?"

"Two people with the same tattoo doesn't make them the same person."

"Well, uh, he worked for the Raven Queen, too," Taako said. Maybe if he gave him all the evidence, he would calm down. "Could turn into a skeleton and everything."

Kravitz froze. "...You didn't tell me that."

"Right?" Taako smiled, leaned in closer. "I thought it was crazy before, but, maybe I'm onto something? Because you're, uh, you're kind of exactly like him, even down to like, little personality quirks. Which is great, because, honestly, you were _very_ cute last year."

Kravitz just kept scooting backwards, putting as much distance between him and Taako as he could. "Taako, I don't like that. I don't like that even a little bit."

"What? C'mon, babe." Taako started to get a little worried--wasn't this good news? For them? It meant he never lost Kravitz. "It's a good thing! It means that--it means that--"

"It means that I'm a _replacement."_   Kravitz reached for his shirt and started to button it. "Which is exactly what I was trying to avoid at the beginning of this."

"No!" Taako scrambled to get closer to him again, a hand on his arm. "No, no no no, I was going to say it means that you're the same person and--"

"Let's pretend, for a moment, that we are the same person." Kravitz paused to get his shirt buttoned halfway, and then rested two arms on either side of Taako. "Even if we are, I don't remember you. I didn't know who you were. You can't just--Taako, even if I'm the same person you lost, that doesn't mean you can just pick up where you left off." 

"Well, uh, no...I was a little freaked out, that's for sure, but, I got over it!"

"And where does that leave me?" Kravitz let go of him and buttoned up his shirt the rest of the way. "All I knew is that you lost a boyfriend. I didn't have all the details. If you-- _damn it,_ if you were up front and honest about _exactly_ who you dated before--"

Taako frowned, getting on the defensive. "I told you he had your name and your face."

"But you didn't tell me he was a servant of the Raven Queen." Kravitz pulled his waistcoat on and buttoned it up. "You didn't tell me we had the same personality." He grabbed his jacket. "You didn't tell me you had suspicions that we were the _same person."_

"What does that matter?" Taako stood up, not making any effort to get dressed again. Top priority was to calm Kravitz down. This was just a bump in the road, they could get back on track in a few minutes.

"It matters because I'm involved in it, Taako!" For the first time, he raised his voice. Taako flinched at the change in tone, not expecting it at all. "You willingly hid information from me and lied to me, and I'm not--I'm not okay with that!" Kravitz huffed in frustration and moved to grab his socks.

"What, so you would have rather I told you everything about the other Kravitz?"

"If you had been up front about--about _this_ whole situation, sure, I would have been freaked out for a bit! But I would have had the decision to keep going or not." He rolled his socks up, yelling up at Taako during the whole process. "Hell, I would have preferred hearing _nothing_ about this _other_ Kravitz! At least then it'd be a blank slate and I wouldn't have to worry about--about impressing somebody that already lost their boyfriend." Kravitz pushed his feet into his shoes. "But you had it in the middle, in this strange--in this strange state where I had to worry about a previous boyfriend _but also_ not know that it was another version of me, maybe? You don't even know if we're the same person, Taako, why would you force me to worry about that?" He raised his brows at Taako, expecting a response. 

Taako shrunk in on himself, not sure how to answer. "I just--just sort of thought, y'know, since you might be the same--"

"That you were entitled to me?"

"Well, geez, when you say it like that--"

"I'm not sure how else to say it!" Kravitz pulled out his tie, popped up his collar, and started his knot. If they weren't fighting, Taako would compliment him on how impressive it was that he could tie it while distracted. "This was uneven from the beginning, this _thing_ between us. And. I really, truly don't like that at all. If I had all the information going in--I might have still stayed, but..." He finished his knot. "You kept it from me."

"Okay, well, I can tell you _now--"_

"No, it doesn't work now." Kravitz shook his head and summoned a door. "I'm sorry, I can't do this."

Taako ran up to try and stop him. "Kravitz--"

"If your _delusions_ are correct, I suppose you'll see me again." Kravitz sneered at him, holding the door open. "But I wouldn't bet on it."

_"Kravitz--"_

Kravitz slammed the door in his face, and it disappeared before Taako could try and open it.

It was fine. That was fine! Taako just lost his boyfriend twice, and that. Hm. That was okay. It was fine. That's what he kept saying to Lup when she asked him why he was so quiet lately. She looked like she wanted to gloat, but ultimately, her need to be a good sister won out. Lup did what she could to draw information out of him, but he kept his lips tight. She was smart enough to put the pieces together herself, though.

Taako studied the Light with Barry and Lup for the rest of the year. That was all he could do. They still didn't let him off the ship. It was a good thing he took detailed notes, because he paid no fucking attention. He messed up, a lot. Calculations were off. He jumped to some conclusions in his research. Wasn't thorough. Barry and Lup had to pick up the slack. Davenport might have yelled at him to get it together, but the rest of the crew were just as worried as Lup was.

But they didn't need to know what happened. Taako fucked up, and he'd just have to. Deal. With that.

He could deal with it.

It would just take him some time.

As the year drew to a close, Taako wondered if Kravitz would come back next year. He wondered if he'd remember. If he came back, Taako would. What? Apologize? He didn't have a clue. The crew scrambled in his peripheral vision, getting ready as the apocalypse loomed over them. It came again, just like before. That meant that they _were_ in some time loop. Or something similar to that. Taako didn't know, and he wasn't in the mood to figure it out right now. And as the black shadow came once more, swallowing the planet just as the Starblaster flew out, Taako couldn't bring himself to care.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> very big thanks to everyone for the overwhelming initial support of this fic!!! ya'll're so sweet and great!!
> 
> if you followed cons a goddess you know that i can't keep chapters under 6k anymore. all of the chapters of this fic that i've written so far are.....very, very long. sorry???? or not sorry. that's probably a good thing. 
> 
> also i'm not going through EVERY cycle of the stolen century, but i'm picking out some select years that would be important. all the canon years will have a chapter (including jello world, puppy town, and hamster world)! so stick around, it should be fun!
> 
> next time, we take a visit to the astral plane.


	3. Cycle 6

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Taako finds some peace out on the sea.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> mild content warning: there's a non-gory description of a death in this chapter from the POV of the person dying. And mild body horror (nobody gets hurt from it, it's astral plane soul shenanigans--if you're fine with video game characters clipping through each other and the scenes in Coco where you can see bones through transparent skin via death magic, this is A-OK)

It had been a couple years, and the crew figured out a few things.

This was definitely some kind of time loop. Or a hard reset. The exact nature of their situation was a hot debate topic between Barry, Lup, and Taako, but they had a broad definition of what this whole thing was. If someone died, they'd come back the next year. Which was good, _definitely,_ because Barry and Magnus were already getting reckless. Magnus had two deaths. Barry had one. There were some close calls with the rest of the crew, but nobody was super jived to jump off the ship to test death out.

Because Barry and Magnus? They were on Kravitz' shit list.

That's right, Kravitz made an appearance every year. It twisted at Taako's heart to see him. Never remembered him, never remembered the crew. Maybe that was for the best. Taako still couldn't close the book on the question of whether all the Kravitzes were the same, or if he was just some kind of weird universal constant. Lup was still hellbent on threatening him away from Taako either way. That wasn't entirely unwelcome, after their fight in year two. But it did hurt to see Kravitz afraid to speak to him during the years he was friendly.

Kravitz looked slightly different every time, but the face was always the same. For two of the years, he didn't mind that Barry and Magnus had died. He just popped in, asked a few questions, and left them alone. One year, he actively hunted Barry and Magnus, shoved Magnus in ghost jail before anyone could stop him. Barry hid himself from Kravitz with magic before he could be carted away. Apparently he knew some basic level necromancy and didn't tell the rest of the crew.

And that was kind of fucking rad, honestly. Taako didn't think Barry had that in him.

But, this year, Kravitz didn't show. They assumed he wasn't present, or that necromancy was such a common thing that nobody cared about one or two stray deaths. Either way, it didn't matter. All it meant is that Taako wasn't distracted worrying about Kravitz, and Lup got off his case for a few months. Which meant that Taako could have a decent conversation with his sister for once. He really did love her and love spending time with her, but her excessive sister-ing was getting on his nerves. It wasn't even like he could be mad about it, either! He'd do exactly the same thing in her situation.

So, instead of fighting about boys (or, one specific boy), everyone was able to get to work figuring out what the _fuck_ was going on with this time loop/reconstruction/friendship boat. And they came up with...nothing. Not even one thing! A whole boat full of scientists and wizards and nobody had a clue what the hell this was. So they switched gears, tried out a few new things to see if they couldn't get knocked out of this loop. They noticed on the second year that the big shadow didn't grow when they had the Light in their possession.

So, as they worked to figure out what was going on, they would try to find the Light.

This year, the Light dropped off in the wilderness. They had a vague idea of where, but couldn't get a hold of any specifics. Lup and Taako went out on an expedition alone. Together. They had all split off in pairs to find the Light, with Barry staying on the ship just in case. Taako and Lup did well in the wilds together. They'd been doing it their whole life. Taako cooked weird plants they found in the forest, and Lup burned a deer to death. They slept under the stars and made up their own constellations because these weren't the same as the ones on their home planet. Of course, they were better in urban areas, but they still knew how to hold their own here. Surviving was second nature to the two of them. Taako could do this in his sleep.

Which is probably why Taako slipped on a rock in the rain and cracked his skull open. That's what he got for thinking this was easy.

He felt all of his faculties slip away from him. The world became fuzzy, Lup's shouts sounded like they were coming through water, and Taako felt numb. Everything got dark, quick. He couldn't keep his eyes open even though Lup was screaming at him to try.

Oh, so that's what dying felt like.

That wasn't as bad as he thought it would be.

* * *

And then Taako found himself laying on a beach.

He sat up. Lup wasn't there. The gap in his skull wasn't there. Also his skin wasn't there? Well. It was _there,_ sure, but it looked transparent, just a bit. His muscles and tendons must have also been transparent, because he could see his bones if he raised his hand up to the light. It was kind of gross, but also kind of cool? Taako could get into this aesthetic.

The beach also wasn't a normal beach. The sand was black, first off. And the ocean wasn't water. It looked like it was made up of thousands--no, millions of colored lights. Some of them gave off a faint pulse, while others were dimmer and sank toward the bottom. A fine mist settled over the whole ocean. Taako stood all the way up to his full wizarding height, and realized he didn't have his hat. Or the clothes he was in five minutes ago. All he had was a simple white linen shirt and pants, nothing fancy--boring. He wished he had at least two more shirts on. He missed his hat. Taako took in a breath and realized that he hadn't needed to breathe since he woke up. And his heart wasn't beating.

Cool, cool. This was the Astral Plane, then.

Guess he didn't have to worry about finding Lup, or...anything else, for that matter. If this was the afterlife, he figured he should kick it. Have a little fun to himself. Could always use the alone time.

Taako smiled and dug his toes in the sand. He forgot how much he liked the beach.

He heard a cough behind him, and turned to see a familiar face sailing towards him in a gondola. His features became more clear the closer he got, and the mist was thin enough so that Taako could see exactly who it was.

Kravitz paddled the gondola to the shore and beached it, smiling warmly. He had the same face as always, except this year he was a half-elf. It was a cute look on him. He wore a wide-brimmed hat and a long cloak, all black, some silver and red tassels hanging down from the shoulders and hat. His skin was also semi-transparent like Taako's, although it was harder to see the bone through his darker skin. His gondola was adorned with carvings of feathers, and a little silver raven perched on the mast. Of course. He was always goth like that--it was cute. Taako refrained from thinking about that often, but. Every once in a while a spare thought would slip out.

"Well, well, well, seems loike we've got a bit of a restless soul, 'ere," he said, in a poorly-constructed Cockney accent. He extended his hand towards Taako. "Why don't we take a ride together, you an' I?"

That was another weird thing about Kravitz--sometimes he had an accent? It was always bad, always felt artificial and fake. He _had_ to have been faking it, right? Oh, fuck, Taako hoped he was faking it.

Kravitz stood there, patient as Taako took in the scene. Seemed like Kravitz was going to be nice this year. He still had his hand outstretched, waiting for Taako to take it and enter the boat. For a moment, Taako thought about Lup's various warnings not to follow Kravitz anywhere, not to speak to him. He had already hurt Taako enough, and now there was the chance that he'd take away their friends into ghost jail. But. Right now, he was dead, so it really couldn't get any worse.

Lup wasn't here to see his bad decisions. She didn't have to know.

Taako held onto Kravitz' hand. It was strange--their hands just sort of passed right through each other, like their skin was made of water. Another weird thing? Their hands kind of tingled when they touched. Barry would get a kick out of these soul physics. Kravitz pulled him upwards, and Taako stepped onto the gondola. He must not have had any actual weight on him, because the boat didn't tip with the addition of a new passenger. Kravitz smiled as he watched Taako inspect the boat, and pushed off from the shore with an oar.

"We're not, ah, really livin', you see, so you can't rock it," he explained, "souls don't have any real meat on 'em."

"Hm, too bad." Taako lifted his arms and moved them around, seeing how the light filtered through them at different angles. He wasn't an expert on bones (the big one was...the femur, right?), but he saw one of his bones spinning around the other as he turned his hands. Fuck, that was cool. "Although, let me say, I am _living_ this whole Fantasy Coco thing, fuckin' rad."

Kravitz chuckled, and Taako tried to ignore how cute that was. He pushed the gondola through the water with an oar. "Most are a bit put off by it."

"Well, Merle always teases me for having a fuckin' skeleton fetish, I'm not _most people."_

The little chuckle turned into a full blown explosion of laughter, with Kravitz doubled over against his paddle. With the loss of composure, his skin flickered a bit more transparent and Taako could see more bone for a few seconds. "I'm sorr-- _is that accurate?"_   he asked, out of the accent, through waves of laughter.

"What? No, uh. I'm not up to fuck a corpse or anything, but." Taako found himself staring at Kravitz, doubled over in laughter. Enjoying himself. He hadn't seen that since year two. And--Taako had gotten over the thought of dating him, because of Kravitz' harsh words and Lup's endless warnings, but. _But._   Fuck, if this wasn't an incentive to start back up again. "Y'know, they're cool."

"No, no, I understand." Kravitz wiped away a tear, still coming down out of his laughing fit.

"Sounds like somebody's got the giggles," Taako said, leaning a bit forward. Fuck it. He could do a little flirting, where was the harm in that?

Kravitz coughed, and the accent returned. "It was--just a tad unexpected. Not too used to blokes bein'--bein' so enthusiastic about all this."

_Blokes,_ goddamn. This man was going to be the death of Taako.

Or. Guess he already was.

Didn't matter, he was cute.

"So," Kravitz said, more of a sigh, "we really should be getting down'ta business here, eh?" He pulled out a scroll from underneath his seat and read the name sprawled across the paper. "Taako, is it?"

Taako stared at his name on the scroll, smiled once he realized it was written in purple glitter. "How'd you guess?"

"It's a talent." He grinned wide, turning his eyes to read more from the scroll.

"Geez, I didn't know death was going to be _charming."_   He was a lot more than charming, Taako thought, but it'd probably scare him off to say that out loud. "Thought you'd just throw my soul into the water and be done with it."

"Not many people are inclined to stay when you're forceful." Kravitz ran his finger along the side of the paper, very interested in the information. More interested than his job required. "Somethin' about gathering more flies with honey, and all that."

"Still." Taako leaned forward and snatched the scroll out of Kravitz' hands, rolling it up and knocking it against his palm. "C'mon, with a face like yours, it's surprising people aren't jumping off cliffs to come see you."

Kravitz cracked a smile at that. "My job isn't to lure people here, Taako." That wasn't in the accent, either. Good. He was just faking it, and badly.

"Just saying, if they put _your_   face on death billboards, they'd come in droves." Taako took a minute to admire said face. The only thing that was completely consistent in between Kravitzes. Taako never got tired of it, even when it was chasing down his friends or yelling at him.

Thankfully, Kravitz didn't seem to mind Taako's staring. He just smiled, tickled by this weird elf in his boat. "I wouldn't be able to do my job with everyone coming here to see me."

"Oh, fair." Taako kicked his feet out into the space between him and Kravitz. "I like this one-on-one soul therapy session, this is great." He leaned backwards, thankful he didn't have to worry about rocking the boat. "Give me an umbrella and a bottle of wine to split in between the two of us, and it'd be just _perfect."_

"Would you mind if I got to it already?" Kravitz held his hand out, reaching for the scroll.

Taako held his own death scroll closer and stuck his tongue out. "Am I distracting you?"

"I think you know exactly what you're doing," he said, whispering like he was worried he'd be caught.

"That a problem?"

"No." Kravitz held out his hand again, more insistent this time. "But I'd prefer to get this movin' along. This would look very bad on the ol' performance review."

"Understandable." Taako gave the scroll back, purposefully allowing his hand to brush against Kravitz'. Their fingers passed right through each other. Taako counted it as a personal win when Kravitz dropped the scroll in surprise. He preferred Kravitz like this: nice, a little flirtatious, but easy to fluster. Taako grinned and waved his hand in the air. "Go on."

It took a couple seconds for Kravitz to compose himself. "How did you die?"

"Wouldn't your little scroll tell you that?"

"It does." Kravitz looked directly at Taako for a few more seconds than what was necessary. "But sometimes I find it helps souls move right along if they describe the incident."

"Well, it wouldn't help _me."_ Taako leaned back into his seat and folded his arms over his chest. "Saw my sister cry. Not totally...that's not a good sight to relive."

"Your sister..." Kravitz checked the scroll again. "Lup. Same birth date. Twins?"

"Yep." Taako framed his face with his hands. "I'm the prettier one, though."

"I can believe that." Kravitz stared at him. Taako forgot how much he liked the look in Kravitz' eyes when he was checking him out. It had been so many years since they were friendly.

"You've seen my sister?" Taako asked, holding onto one shred of hope--if Kravitz remembered Lup, maybe he'd remember other things.

"No." Oh, disappointing. "I just think men are more attractive, on the whole," he said, quiet and quick. Less disappointing.

"I didn't think death would be coming onto me like this," Taako said, fanning his face overdramatically. "I thought you said you wanted to move this along, my man."

"I wasn't--I wasn't _coming onto you,_ I was--" Kravitz stopped, his face frozen in embarrassment as he was caught in the act. He straightened his back, paddling the boat to distract himself. "Just. Doing my job."

Taako laughed. "Your job involves flirting with dead guys?"

"I'm only here to put your soul at rest. I've found that having a nice conversation usually does the trick. And if it takes a little bit of charm to get you to settle down, well..." Kravitz coughed, and then shook his head. "Once you calm down, you'll have to go into the sea."

"Not sure if I want to do that." Taako scooted forward, giving his best sultry smile. He could flirt his way out of this, right? "Let's just go back to your place, eh?"

"I don't have a _place,"_   Kravitz said, forceful. "This is my place."

"This boat?"

_"This."_   Kravitz gestured outwards towards the sea, the mist, and the sky. "All of it."

Taako placed both hands on the edge of the gondola and looked out at the sea. The mist covered a lot of the scenery, but the bright ocean full of souls helped with visibility. Taako could see mountains (or maybe islands?) out in the distance, and a few more gondolas a couple miles out. "There's other boats out there too, huh?"

"There are a few of us doing this job." Kravitz kept rowing. "I don't see them very often. The sea is infinitely wide. You'd have to deliberately be looking out for someone to run into them."

"How many?"

"How many others like me?" Kravitz looked out past the mist, thinking. "A few hundred, I'd say. I've never asked my goddess for a head count."

The odds of Taako's soul getting assigned to Kravitz for this weird death ritual seemed small, now. At first, Taako thought Kravitz was the only employee of death. But... when there was a possibility that there were more servants of the Raven Queen running around, if Taako and the crew had only seen Kravitz all these years...

Fuck, what did that mean?

"Then why'd I get _your_   boat?"

"I just thought your soul was interesting. Hadn't seen anything like it before." Kravitz stared straight through Taako, watching something Taako couldn't see. "It's still restless, even after our little chat. Something on your mind?"

"Yeah, but--" Taako sucked in air through his teeth. "I can't really talk about it."

"This may be the last chance you'll ever get." Kravitz smiled again, softer. He was _really_ good at his job; that face made Taako want to spill out every single bit of his story, his previous encounters with the other Kravitzes. But. That'd be too weird to dump on this random Kravitz. He made that mistake once before.

"Dunno about that," he said, which was as vague and noncommittal as Taako could get.

Kravitz looked at him, disappointed. "If you escape the sea, I'll have to come and throw you back in."

"It'd be fun to be chased by you, I think," was Taako's last shot at flirting his way out of the situation. From Kravitz' expression, Taako could tell that wasn't going to fly.

_"Taako,"_   Kravitz said, and he didn't have to ask Taako to take this more seriously. The command was in his voice.

"Alright, alright!" Taako put on his serious face. "You won't freak out?"

Kravitz hesitated, but nodded his head once and sat at attention. "I'll try my best."

To Kravitz' credit, he wasn't too overwhelmed by the whole story. Taako left out the parts with Kravitz in them, just explained their situation as best he could. Kravitz looked nervously at the raven statue on the mast of his boat when Taako mentioned people coming back to life, but he wasn't hot to go collect Barry and Magnus immediately. But he did seem a little disturbed by the entire ordeal. His jaw tightened when he heard about the yearly time loop, as if he was more upset about that then the unauthorized deaths.

"That's quite the adventure you've had," he said, his voice a bit shaky as Taako finished the story.

"Right?" Taako blew out a breath, too--saying it all out loud did more of a number on him than he'd thought. "Anyway, you're, uh, you're the first dude that's listened to that whole spiel."

"You've run into other servants of the Raven Queen?"

"Yeah, that's the _thing,_ I, uh--" Taako paused, wondering if he should tell Kravitz about his previous appearances. That would be weird to say, right? But then Kravitz from year two popped into his head, and Taako figured he should just get it out. "I've actually run into you, specifically a few times. I know the accent's fake."

"Oh, you should have said something earlier," he said, dropping the accent immediately. "That's just my work accent. Something I do to make this less monotonous. Why didn't you tell me you knew?"

Taako pushed aside his instinct to laugh at the fact that Kravitz made up accents on the job _for fun._ "It hasn't gone very well when I have."

"My apologies." He actually sounded a little regretful, there. Like he cared whether or not he upset Taako. "What was I like, previously?"

"Like, that's the thing--the same? All times. Except, y'know, some years you had a contract to kill my friends because they have multiple dea--"

Kravitz leapt forward and had his hand on Taako's mouth in an instant. It was meant to silence him, and it shouldn't have been hot, but _god damn, Taako, you can't be getting turned on by a handsome dude with his palm on your lips!_   It wasn't Taako's fault. He hadn't had a positive encounter with Kravitz in years, and it wasn't as if he stopped being handsome this whole time. He _did_ date him for a considerable amount of time, twice, so. Yeah. Taako was going to freak out over a bit of physical contact. And something about this felt...strange. Neither of them were physical bodies right now, so Taako didn't really _feel_ Kravitz' hand on him as much as he saw it, but the whole exchange still flustered the fuck out of him. Kravitz' face was much closer than he needed to be to quiet Taako down, and his other hand was on his shoulder to keep him stable, and _fuck, **fuck,** stop thinking about him like that!_

"Normally, just you telling me that would warrant me to send my coworkers out to search for them," he whispered, looking over his shoulder at the raven statuette perched on the mast of his gondola. Carefully, he removed his hand from Taako's mouth, but made no moves to back away. "But I'll keep it quiet. Please, just don't speak of that part anymore."

"G-got it." Glad that he didn't have any blood right now and his face couldn't get red, Taako scooted two inches away from Kravitz. Kravitz got the picture, and moved all the way back to his seat so they had a comfortable distance between them. Taako allowed himself to calm down a little before speaking again. "Anyway, yeah, you're. You're usually the same. Personality-wise."

Kravitz frowned. "Do you have any proof of that?"

"You like gambling, but you suck at it because you don't cheat," Taako said, speaking automatically. Something about this Kravitz made him want to word vomit all over the place. "You're like me, we both like wines that taste a little fruity--I've got some raspberry wine in the cabinets on the ship, you said that one was your favorite." Taako tapped his finger on the side of the boat, trying to come up with _specifics._   "You've never kept memories from farther than a year back."

Kravitz sat there, slacked jaw and wide eyes. As if he wasn't expecting proof. As if he wasn't expecting the proof to be _real._ "What the fuck?" he asked, voice shaking and in the wrong octave.

"I know." Taako shrugged, sounding as bored as possible. "It's wild."

"No, seriously, that's--" Kravitz put his paddle down and moved up closer, curious. "How is that happening?"

"You're asking the wrong guy." Taako raised his shoulders, suddenly feeling a bit too small. He was waiting for Kravitz to explode on him every minute. "I'm just as confused as you." 

"That's too bad. I was--hoping you'd have some answers." Kravitz calmly sat back down. Huh. No explosion. "Were we ever--" Kravitz stalled, eyes flicking from Taako's eyes to his lips, and then off into the distance. "--friends?"

"Uh. That's sort of. Where it gets a little complicated." Taako thought about lying. He really did. But. Something about Kravitz made him cough up the truth. "We, uh, we've been more than friends a couple times."

"Ah." Taako saw a few different emotions flicker across Kravitz' face. Surprise, realization, sorrow, hope, attraction--he was always so openly expressive like that. "That does explain a few things. About your general attitude."

"Too much?"

"...No." Kravitz shook his head slowly. "No, it's fine." He sat very still for a few minutes, mentally processing the whole thing. Taako understood. He did just drop something fucking massive on Kravitz with little warning. When Kravitz found his voice again, it was weaved in with a couple giggles. "I mean, I have to be honest, it's a little strange."

"Sure." Taako didn't smile or laugh back. Too focused on watching Kravitz' reaction.

"But it's not. It's not _bad,"_ he said, nervous. Taako watched him carefully, holding himself back from jumping up in relief as Kravitz stumbled through his words. "You're. Okay, yes, I do admit I didn't _have_ to flirt with you earlier, it was just. You were doing it. And. It was fun. To do it back."

Taako finally relaxed. Even when Kravitz heard his weird story, he wasn't put off by that. And he _had_ been flirting back. Taako grinned, leaning forward and turning his charm back on. He could have a little bit of non-guilty fun with this, now that everything was out in the open. "Oh, I thought you flirted with _all_   your ghost clients."

"I don't, not usually." Kravitz ducked his head down, embarrassed. "I don't usually insist on picking up specific souls, either, but..."

"If you say you felt _called to me,_ I'm going to barf."

"You're a soul right now, you don't have the ability to barf." Kravitz grinned and leaned forward, barely a foot away from Taako's face. "I did feel called to you."

Taako rolled his eyes and stuck his tongue out, mimicking a barfing noise. Kravitz laughed again, and this time Taako joined in. "I forgot how fun this was," he said fondly, both hands flying to his mouth once he realized he said that out loud. His whole face would be red if he wasn't just a soul right now. _"Damn,_ fuck, I know I haven't had a good conversation with you in, like, four years, but guess everything's coming out."

"Oh! Oh, shit, I'm sorry, let me turn that off." Kravitz waved his hand in the air and the instinct to tell Kravitz _everything_ disappeared. Not entirely. He still felt like he should be honest when the conversation turned serious, but the compulsion to spew out secrets was gone. "There's an active Zone of Truth on this boat. I'm sorry I didn't tell you earlier."

"I wasn't planning on lying to you, man," he said, annoyed that he had that on him the whole time. But. He guessed he'd done worse to Kravitz before, so it was even.

"It's standard for my line of work. Can't have souls spouting out lies while I'm trying to help them." Kravitz laid his hand on the edge of the gondola, right next to Taako but not touching him. "But, ah, I suppose this isn't really for work anymore, is it?"

Taako grinned and scooted forward. "You're getting sweet on me?"

"It's hard not to." Kravitz looked out at the sea, his good mood fell. "But it's not as if I can do anything about it. I still have to throw you into this ocean."

"It's cool. I'll come back next year. It's just in a couple months, anyway."

He shook his head. "That really shouldn't be happening."

"I know." They both sat there, inches apart and silent. Taako wanted to kiss him or _something,_ but, there wasn't much use in doing that when Kravitz was going to throw him into the ocean anyway. "Can I see your arm before you push me in?"

"My arm?"

"I want to see if your sweet 'tats changed. The one on your arm, with the dots?" He pointed to his own arm, right where the tattoo would be. "Haven't gotten a look at them since year two."

"Oh, you...know about that?" Kravitz asked, stunned.

"Already established that I know a lot about you, homie." Taako clapped his hands twice and then rubbed them together. "C'mon, roll up those sleeves."

Kravitz sat up, about to roll back his robe, but smiled and asked, "which arm is it on?"

"Left, c'mon." Taako whacked him in the arm. He didn't get the effect he intended, considering his hand just kind of...sank into Kravitz' arm, like a fork going through jelly. He took his hand away before anything weird happened. "You can test me but I'll know the answer."

"I've always wondered what it meant," he said, rolling up his left sleeve to the shoulder, "and why I can't remove it. I can change everything about my form except for my face and this mark. I don't know why."

Taako moved forward to inspect the tattoo. Yep. Same as it was the first two years...except now, there were more dots. In addition to the extra blue dot he acquired in year two and the original dots from year one, Kravitz had one yellow dot, two green dots and one more blue dot. So, eighteen dots in total now. No real pattern to them, either. And why were there new colors? Yellow and green, did that mean anything? Why weren't any more white or red ones showing up?

"Well, good for me that you can't change 'em," Taako said, letting go of Kravitz' arm and allowing him to roll his sleeve back down. "Easier for me to find you."

Kravitz covered his arm. "The only thing that's been different over the years is the amount of circles?"

"Yeah."

"I...wonder why." Kravitz turned to watch the raven statue perched on his gondola. "Do you think I'm the same across all the planes, or do you think the Raven Queen just...always has a servant named Kravitz?"

"I don't know." Taako hunched over, both his hands clasped together. "I'll figure it out. Do you need to, uh, drown my soul in there, or?"

"You can pop on in yourself, if you'd like."

"Hm. Sweet, thanks." Taako winked at him and hooked his leg over the side of the boat. "Thanks for, uh, being cool about all this. Sorry for giving you an existential crisis, or whatever."

"Wait--" Kravitz stood in the boat. It rocked, just a little bit, even though the two of them didn't have any weight. "May I...ask you one favor before you go?"

Taako pulled his leg back into the gondola. Whatever Kravitz was asking about, it sounded urgent. "Depends on the favor, I don't agree to anything without hearing the full story."

"May I--" Kravitz sucked in a very unnecessary breath. It took a minute for him to find his voice again. It came back a little strangled, higher than it should have been. Nervous. "May I kiss you?"

"Yeah, uh, why--" Taako wondered how dumb his face looked right now. Even though Kravitz was flirting with him this whole time, he didn't think he'd actually act on it. "Why not?"

Kravitz set his paddle down on his seat. "If it makes you uncomfortable, we won't."

"No, it's--sure, sure, let's do it. C'mon." Taako stood up in the gondola, right in front of Kravitz.

"Are you sure?" Kravitz asked, reaching to hold Taako's chin in his hand, tipping it up towards him. His fingers threatened to pass right through Taako's jaw.

Instead of supplying an answer, Taako pulled Kravitz down by his robe and kissed him, impatient.

It wasn't what he expected.

Without a real body, Taako didn't feel most of the physical effects of kissing. It was weird to press his lips up against Kravitz' and not feel anything--no heartbeat, no excited tingling in his arms or down his back, no heat in the face. It was like his whole body was numb from anesthetics, and he only felt a faint bit of pressure where the two connected. It was...a little weird, because they were technically inside each other, just a bit. With no barrier of skin, they had to be careful not to pass right through each other.

But that wasn't what threw Taako off.

Sure, neither of them had a physical body at the moment, but Taako's thoughts were _lighting the fuck up_ over the exchange. Without a brain, he didn't have the ability to clamp down on his emotions. Everything came in unfiltered, and it was overwhelming (he briefly remembered when Kravitz had his hand over his mouth, and realized he wasn't getting turned on--that was just pure, raw emotion that he wasn't prepared for). Every emotion was amplified. The anticipation of finally, _finally_ getting to kiss Kravitz again. The relief that he wasn't chased and Magnus and Barry weren't thrown in ghost jail. The excitement of whatever the fuck this weird ghost kiss was. Something he didn't have a name for, a feeling he wasn't experiencing, but still came through strong in his mind. The overwhelming _love_ Taako felt for Kravitz.

Taako loved Kravitz.

Taako loved him--or at least, he loved him in the first two years. He still didn't know if all these Kravitzes were the same. But Taako knew he loved him three out of six years. And then an overwhelming wave of worry crashed over hem _,_ wondering if Kravitz was the same every time, if Kravitz would ever remember him from year to year. If he did, Taako would hold on and never let go.

That was probably just his soul talking. If Taako's brain was here, it'd kick those thoughts right out the window, thank you very much.

When Kravitz pulled back, it felt like they had been kissing for an eternity and a half second. It wasn't long enough, but it was. They were done, but they weren't. They needed to do it again, but they couldn't. Kravitz stood there, stunned, like he was going to say something. His skin turned a bit more transparent, so more of his bones showed.

"You liked that, huh?" Taako teased, even if his non-physical knees felt like they were going to collapse out from under him.

His skin flickered transparent a few more times. If he had a pulse, his heart would be jumping out of his chest. Without warning, he grabbed Taako by the waist and suplexed him backwards into the water.

As soon as Taako hit the water, he felt himself dissolving. His body was really just a projection of his soul anyway, a means to an end, so he knew it wasn't real--but it still looked weird to see his own body disappear. He looked up towards the boat and saw Kravitz looking back down at him. He looked horrified, a little sad, maybe guilty? It was disappointing, but Kravitz _did_ warn him that he couldn't stay long, and the kiss was one last goodbye, but Taako would have liked a verbal goodbye, too. Oh, well. He could get another shot at it next year.

His vision blurred and dimmed as his eyes were taken away, and Kravitz staring down at him from the boat was the last thing he saw before his consciousness blacked out entirely.

* * *

And then Taako felt himself heaved over the side of a boat. 

But it wasn't the Starblaster.

It was a familiar gondola, small, dark wood, feather carvings all around the sides of the boat. It didn't rock with his movement. He still saw bones through his skin and he was still wearing that godawful white linen getup. Kravitz sat next to him, one hand on his back and another holding his hand. This was still year six.

"Are you alright?" Kravitz asked, squeezing his hand. Taako could only feel the dull pressure, but the (not-so) physical contact brought all of Taako's emotions back to the surface. "I don't usually pull souls _out_ of the sea, I hope you're not injured--not that you could be, of course, but--fuck, I'm sorry I just threw you in without warning, I was worried if I didn't I wouldn't have the willpower to lat--"

_Fuck_ manners and fuck protocol, Taako was already on him.

Kravitz certainly didn't seem to mind. He held Taako closer, and their souls kind of meshed into each other weirdly but Taako didn't _care,_ he just wanted to be closer, and he'd take any contact he could get at this point.

Eventually, Kravitz backed away so he could speak. "Well. That's. Certainly one way to greet someone that threw you off of a boat."

Taako took his hands off of Kravitz, and the feeling disappeared. "Too much?"

"No." Kravitz took both of Taako's hands in his, the feeling coming back, duller. "I just--you're probably wondering why I brought you back."

"Well, yeah, but also--I'm not gonna lie, I'm kind of a fan of the whole spooky ghost kissing." Taako scooted up closer, asking for more contact.

"We--we can certainly do more of that in a bit." Kravitz let go of Taako's hands so they could both concentrate. "Let me speak?"

Taako nodded, waved a hand, and sat across from Kravitz. "The floor's yours, m'man."

"Because of your...circumstances, I think. It would be fair for you to see the Astral Plane in greater detail. I asked my Queen to extend your time for a while." Kravitz looked up at the bird statue on the mast once more, smiling at it. "She allowed it. But you have to stay on my boat, and...well, please try not to interrupt my job, alright?"

"I can do that." Taako inspected the boat. "Kind of a small gondola, though, where should I sit when you're talking to other ghosts?"

"Next to me?" Kravitz asked, and scoot to the side to make room.

"You've got it bad," he teased, unable to hold back his smug grin. "Seriously, how good _was_ that kiss?"

Kravitz sat up a bit straighter, his tongue passing between his lips for a split second. _"Very."_

"You know..." Taako moved to sit right next to Kravitz, and hooked an arm around his shoulder. Yep. Seemed like all physical contact had the same effect as kissing did. Although, things like touching hands and shoulders didn't have as many points of contact as the kiss--felt like the closer their souls got and the number of contact points amplified the experience. "I like a man who knows what he wants."

_"Fuck,"_ was all Kravitz could say before crashing his lips against Taako's. He held Taako closer than he ever had before, hands around his back, chest pressed up against chest. It was more contact, and Taako allowed himself to fall into the sensation. The whole experience was indescribable. As they got closer, Taako took note of a few things: for example, Kravitz was pressed so far into him that their teeth clacked together, and that was the first bit of solid body he noticed. Taako held onto Kravitz' arm, and realized his hand couldn't pass through his bone. Skin could pass through skin, but bone couldn't pass bone. Good to know there were some rules regarding soul kissing.

Eventually, Kravitz pulled away, and the two took a moment to just...stare.

"I would normally feel self-conscious about moving so fast with a person, but..." Kravitz squeezed his hand so hard their bones touched. "You already know me, and I--I would like to know more about you."

"Only if you're okay with that," he said, serious for once in his fucking life.

"It's a strange set of circumstances, sure." Kravitz didn't back away even though Taako gave him an easy out. "But something just keeps pushing me closer to you and--I think I can go with my instinct, here."

"I'm glad you are." Taako grinned and kissed Kravitz again. Ghost kissing put him in a really vulnerable position emotionally, but. It didn't scare him as much as he thought it would.

"Well," Kravitz said, disconnecting himself from Taako and standing up. As he walked to grab his paddle, Taako's outfit morphed from the white linen to the same robe and hat Kravitz was rocking. "I should go ahead and get started."

Taako grinned, happy that he had a hat again. "Whoa, hold on, what's this?"

"I wouldn't want my clients thinking I pick favorites with ghosts." Kravitz turned around and winked at him. "Just pretend you're in training, alright?"

"Can do." Taako sat himself down in the spot Kravitz took when he first picked him up off the beach. "Although, then your clients will just think I'm dating my boss."

Kravitz frowned. "We'll have plenty of time alone, please don't do anything to me while I'm working." He paddled towards the shore of the Astral beach, quieting down as he searched for souls waiting on the coast.

"Boo, no fun," he said, but cared enough about Kravitz' feelings that he wouldn't tease him on the job. Past an occasional subtle dig or two. Fuck, when did _that_ happen?

No, Taako just sat back and watched as Kravitz started speaking Cockney to some lady he pulled onto their boat.

* * *

This boat afterlife wasn't so bad. It barely took any time at all for Taako to adjust. He'd just sit on the boat, wait for Kravitz to do his thing, and once he got through all the souls he needed to, they'd have time alone together. At some point, he even started checking the scrolls for Kravitz, just to help smooth the process along. They seemed to all be more official than the scroll Taako had, written in less glitter and with full, fancy names like _Christopher Rembrandt_   or _Richard Poore._

Taako thought those names were bullshit, and those people needed fucking nicknames or something. Not catchy enough.

A couple months in, just as Kravitz lowered one soul into the sea, Taako came up to hug him immediately, not even giving him time to settle.

"Someone's impatient today," Kravitz said, laughing. He turned around to hold Taako back, creating more points of contact.

"C'yeah, that was thirty ghosts in a row." Taako spoke to him through kisses. Listen, if he was going to lose this Kravitz at the end of the year, he was going to load up on affection. "Something happening in the Material Plane? Plague, or somethin'?" He tried not to sound worried, but with the amount of contact his soul made with his boyfriend's, Kravitz knew.

"I'm sure if there is, your friends will be fine." Kravitz had a hand in his hair, grounding and soothing. "For somebody whom death isn't exactly _permanent_ for, you sure worry about it a lot."

"Shut up." Taako sank his face a bit into Kravitz' neck. "I just don't want you chasing my sister around in another year."

"Fair." Kravitz let out a breath. "Sorry, I'd just be doing my job."

Taako pulled away to pout at him. "Could your job involve less murdering of my sister and friends?"

"Well, I--" Kravitz stuttered, and because their souls were touching, Taako knew he was embarrassed. "If my Goddess demanded it, I'd have to do it."

He stayed silent for a while, staring dumbfounded at Kravitz. Like, sure, they'd run into a Kravitz that was hellbent on chasing down Barry and Magnus before, but...they weren't all like that. "What the fuck?"

Kravitz tried to sputter out an explanation. "I mean--I have free will, and everything, but if she asked me to collect your friends--well, I don't know if I'd have the ability to say no to that."

"Is that free will?" he asked, tilting his head.

"In normal circumstances, I have complete control over my actions." Kravitz frowned. "She has never used that executive power before. It's only there for extreme emergencies."

"Still--you're okay with that? With her doing that?" Taako knew he would never be okay with that. He wanted complete control over all his actions, thanks.

"I trust my Goddess with my li--with my death, I suppose." Kravitz looked up at the raven statue on the mast, and smiled at it. "She's the reason for my entire existence."

Taako looked up at the statue, too. "How's that?"

"You must already know that my memory isn't too stable, but..." Kravitz held him closer again. "I do have a vague memory of Istus saving my life and allowing me to work in my death."

"Istus?" Taako completely failed his religion check. He didn't know what the fuck an Istus was. But he was good enough at context clues to figure out she was probably another goddess. "Wait, back up, if Istus saved your life, why're you with the Raven Queen?"

"Did...did I say Istus?" Kravitz sat there in a daze for longer than he should have, staring off into the mist. He came back to his senses and kissed Taako quickly. "I meant the Raven Queen. I must have misspoke. I've never met Lady Istus, although I've heard she's wonderful."

"Oh, sure..." Taako wasn't sure what he should say. Kravitz wasn't making too much sense.

He opened his mouth to ask for an explanation, but Kravitz tensed up, watching the mist with a blank expression on his face.

"Kravitz?" Taako asked, a thumb on his cheek.

"I can't let you stay here any longer," Kravitz said, suddenly, no warnings and no preamble. "My Queen is calling me urgently, and I have to leave for an extended period of time." He held both of Taako's hands in his. "It's almost the end of the year, you won't be down there for very long."

"That's fine, man." Taako stood up, prepared to jump out of the boat at a moment's notice. He assumed this was coming--the Hunger would be here within a week, he'd guess. The mist had been getting thicker, and the sea wasn't as colorful as it used to be. "I can let myself out."

"Wait," he said, pulling Taako close to him and pressing a kiss to Taako's lips. They both stayed there, hanging off each other and taking in the sensation as long as they could before pulling away.

Taako cuddled up close enough so they clipped through each other, well accustomed to the feeling of Kravitz' arms inside him or their chests glued together. "You've, uh. You've been great this year."

"Thank you." Kravitz moved a strand of hair behind Taako's ear and kissed his forehead. "If it turns out I am the same person, well. Please don't hesitate to seek me out again."

"You sure? It'd be weird if I knew what was going on and you didn't."

"You told me everything that was going on, didn't you? And I wasn't lying about feeling drawn to your soul." Kravitz held him at the waist, fingers lightly brushing against the very lowest of Taako's ribs. "I don't see any harm in it, as long as you're comfortable."

"Sure. Uh. Thanks." Taako threw his arms around Kravitz' neck and whispered into the not-so solid form of it. "I hope you're the same person."

"I hope I am, too." Kravitz pulled away, snapped his fingers, and a rift opened next to him in space. "I suppose I'll be back soon?"

"Yep." Taako waved him goodbye. "See you later."

Kravitz stole one last quick kiss before hopping through the portal. It disappeared as soon as he was through, and Taako stayed alone on the gondola. He considered not going into the sea. He really did. But, also, what was he going to do for a week, waiting for the Hunger? It'd probably be better to be unconscious during the whole thing and wake up later.

So, Taako stood on the edge of the boat, never rocking it, and jumped into the ocean.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Good news! I'm going to be able to post this fic pretty consistently every Friday. I've got everything set up, and the schedule I'm doing so far is working, so just keep checking back here on Friday mornings, because that's when I'm posting these. 
> 
> also, i'm loving everyone who's trying to crack the mysteries that are surrounding this fic. they're so fun to read! nobody's been fully right yet, but some people have come across some half-answers that aren't technically wrong. there aren't a lot of clues in the next chapter, but the chapter AFTER that is pretty enlightening, if you squint hard enough :)
> 
> Next chapter is the second canon year: time to go to the mushroom kingdom!


	4. Cycle 8

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Taako tries to hide things from Lup. She's not a fan.

The first thing Taako did after reforming was hug his sister.

Lup beefed it in the first month of the previous year, which left Taako running around like a chicken with its head cut off. It wasn't her fault--the main transportation of the planet was light-speed trains that ran on invisible rails, and she accidentally stepped in an unmarked area. Which, at least, was a quick and painless death. But it left Taako alone, and Taako didn't tend to make good decisions when left to his own facilities.

Like dating Kravitz in secret for ten months out of the previous year. He purposefully left that out of the report. She didn't need to know. All she'd do was whine about it and complain, and Taako really didn't want that strain on his relationship with his sister. They had enough trouble with the Hunger, no need to pile more stress on. Fighting about boys was the last thing he wanted to do with Lup--that would be childish.

Once everyone filled Lup in on what she missed, their eyes turned to this new planet. This was normal for them now. Drop down, see what was waiting for them, and survive. Actually? It was a pretty sweet setup for Taako. Never really got bored that way. This year's world was covered in some sort of bioluminescent haze. Not only that, but there was a constant weather hazard. Looked like rain was always on the forecast. Davenport was a bit reluctant to touch down inside it, for fear of injuring the ship.

Not that he _couldn't_ maneuver through all of that. The captain was the best pilot in the multiverse. He just didn't want to put his crew in unnecessary danger.

But then, Magnus saw a town through a clearing in the haze, and that was enough to get Davenport to fly down. Everyone stood near the door, a little too suspicious to step through. Even Magnus didn't rush outside immediately. The haze was just so thick and suspicious. A potential death trap. Nobody wanted to lose another crew member this early. Seeing their concern, Barry ran to the lab and came back with a few scientific instruments stacked up to his chin, cords and buttons sticking out in all directions.

"What is all of that, Barry?" Lucretia asked.

"Just going to check the air composition." He readjusted the equipment in his arms, barely able to hold it all up. None of it seemed heavy, but it looked awkward to hold. "It's very thick, but we need to know if the atmosphere is safe to breathe. It'd be kind of disappointing if someone died too early." He looked quickly towards Lup, and then took a sudden interest in staring at his instruments.

"Good call, nerdlord," Lup said, with a lot less teasing than she'd normally pair with the nickname. Acting nicer now that she came back from the dead. Taako could barf. That wasn't in their collective brand. But, he guessed, Lup was always a little more empathetic than he was. Used to get the two of them in trouble to keep her conscience balanced. But, of course, he'd never think of splitting off from her. That'd be insane.

Barry snapped a safety mask over his nose and mouth and nodded. He motioned for the crew to step backwards. They waited on the other end of the common area, watching as he quickly stepped out, a puff of smog escaping through the door as he shut it. The crew stood on edge, hoping they wouldn't find a Barry-shaped skeleton in an hour. They'd have to wait until he was done before going outside. Didn't want to risk their lives, even if they'd get another shot in a year.

They didn't have to wait very long before the door ejected back open. Barry fell through the door, his equipment scattering out in front of him. Some of the delicate ones shattered, glass skittering all over the floor in front of him.

"No, no! Inside!" A small halfling in a gas mask shooed Barry's body all the way into the Starblaster, and followed him inside. She shut the door and turned around, removing her mask. "What do you think you're doing?"

"Going outside?" Barry asked. He took off his safety mask. "I had protection."

"Your friend has a death wish," she said, turning her gaze up to the rest of the crew. She didn't seem bothered by the fact that most of the crew was more than twice her size and living in a futuristic spaceship. She was hellbent on scolding the living daylights out of Barry. Taako covered his mouth, hiding a laugh, and Lup whacked him in the arm. The halfling dove for Barry's mask and snapped the elastic in front of his face. "Did you really think this flimsy thing would help? It doesn't even cover your eyes or ears! The spores would get right in."

"Spores?" Merle asked.

"Well, what did you think that cloud was?" She pointed out the window, speaking slowly. Like she thought they were stupid. "It's coming right out of the fungi."

Davenport straightened his back and walked up to the halfling woman. "Pardon us. We're not from here."

"Clearly," she said, rolling her eyes and folding her arms across her chest.

The Captain smiled, not put off by her sarcasm. He had years of dealing with the twins' bullshit, he could get through a conversation with a surly halfling. "In that case, could you provide us with some information about this planet? We could certainly make it worth your time."

"What kind of _worth_   are we talking? Cash?"

"I'm not sure what form of currency you use here. But I'm sure we can work something out. You have my word." Davenport offered his hand out so she could shake it.

She stood there, squinted eyes and pursed lips. "Food's pretty scarce here. Got anything good packed in this place?"

Lup and Taako both perked up. This could be a lot easier than they thought it'd be. If they were able to impress this bitch with food, she might even be able to hook them up with those cool gas masks.

"We do, actually. Lup and Taako are extremely accomplished chefs," he said, gesturing to the twins. "Stay for dinner, and we can have a nice, long conversation. How does that sound?"

"Pretty good ship to have _two_ chefs." She looked at Lup and Taako, judging them, and then smiled at Davenport. "Ya'll hiring?"

"Unfortunately, no." Davenport sighed, exhausted from trying to have a civil conversation with this woman. "Do we have a deal?"

"Sure, why not?" The halfling ran up to the couch in the common area and folded her hands in her lap, smiling sweetly at the twins. Made herself comfortable without even asking permission. "Do I get requests?"

"I'll go see what we've got in cargo, and we'll do our best." Lup tied her hair up, walking towards the hall. "Taako, can you get started on tea?"

"Oolong, if you've got it," the halfling said, smug in her seat. Taako wanted to wipe that grin off her face--she'd been here for five minutes and was already making requests. Sure, he'd do the same thing in her situation, but that didn't mean he liked having it turned on him.

"Of course we've got oolong, do we look like animals?" Taako walked into the kitchen without hearing her rebuttal. Usually, Lup would keep the hood from the kitchen open so that he could talk to the rest of the crew in the common area as he worked. But this halfling got on his nerves, so he shut the aluminum hood down. He grumbled to himself as he ran around making her stupid oolong tea. It'd probably take a while for Lup to take inventory in cargo, and then even longer for her to relay that information and come up with a suitable meal for the halfling, so Taako had time to burn on his own.

Well, not really. He still had to make this tea. But that was mostly just...waiting. Waiting, and steeping, and grumbling about this shitty halfling.

Except, he didn't have much time to grumble. Taako got pulled out of his thoughts by a presence behind him, a chill running down his spine. Goosebumps prickled all over his arm. He turned around to see a skeleton phasing through the kitchen wall, hovering towards him with a scythe drawn. It was barely four foot tall--probably a gnome, judging by the bone structure--and wore a black robe with feathers on the shoulders and bottom. As he got closer to Taako, skin knitted around the bones, and. Well. Yeah, of course it was Kravitz. Tiny little gnome Kravitz. Cute little gnomish mustache and tail and everything.

Taako sighed. This wasn't the _time_ for Kravitz to come barging in all spooky and hot.

"You have all broken the will of the--" Kravitz paused as Taako shoved a teacup into his face. He moved side to side, trying to get proper eye contact with Taako, but he kept moving the cup. "Um."

"Hey, man, listen. I _get it,_ you're here to collect our souls and junk like that." Taako pushed the cup closer to Kravitz, not intimidated at all by him. "How about this, let's just. Hold off for a year, and then you can collect anyone you want, eh?"

"That's not how this works." Kravitz pushed the cup away. "Please get that out of my face."

"It's oolong," Taako said, and set the cup down on the accessible half-counter that Merle and Davenport used. "Which, I know, probably not your style, you seem more like an Earl Grey guy, but it's better than nothing."

"I--I suppose I am an Earl Grey guy," he said, and took the tea. Kravitz looked around the kitchen, in awe of it. "What _is_ this structure?"

Taako smiled. Seemed like he'd be able to hold a conversation with this Kravitz. That made things easier. "The Starblaster. It's a ship."

Kravitz pondered this, suspicious. "You're not on the water."

"It's a ship for the sky." Taako pointed upwards, as if that would help with the explanation.

"That's insane," Kravitz said, and then took a sip of his tea.

"Right?" Taako poured another cup, the one for the halfling. He spat into it. That's what she'd get for being...well, exactly like him. She couldn't steal his brand. "Anyway, here's some advice: just don't collect our souls right now, and don't talk to my sister."

"Your sister?"

"The one that looks exactly like me." Taako put the halfling's tea on a tray and then poured a few more cups for the rest of the crew. He didn't spit in any of those. "Anyway, if you want to know the full sitch, that's cool, just come to my room tonight. I'll make sure Lup sleeps in her own damn room."

"I--"

Taako grinned down at him. "And you can keep the tea. Wink."

"Did you just say _wink_ out lou--" Kravitz sputtered out some of his tea, coughed, and then straightened himself out, trying to look official. "Never mind. I expect an explanation later."

And with that, he disappeared. Good. Taako might be able to keep his interactions with Kravitz a secret from his sister this year. Not that he wanted to keep secrets from Lup, but. Come on. If she was going to be snide about him and Kravitz, he was going to hide it. Simple as that. He wasn't going to hold back on dating Kravitz just because Lup didn't like the idea. He valued her opinion, but he also knew when she was dead wrong. He could keep a secret relationship with Kravitz _and_ have good times with his sister.

He'd just have to be careful about it.

* * *

Kravitz listened to him patiently.

He came into Taako's room all spooky-like at midnight. Taako made himself look _decent_ and _presentable,_ even though it'd be real easy to have this conversation with his dick out to fluster Kravitz. No, he explained the situation calmly and carefully like an adult. It didn't seem like he was taking in all the information correctly, so Taako slowed down and took his sweet time explaining. Really got into those details. Helped Kravitz understand it better. He also went ahead and explained that they had been in a relationship a few times together--Kravitz jumped at that a bit and nervously asked to move on. Fine. He could respect that. He knew rushing into things didn't ever turn out well for either of them. So Taako focused on telling him about the mission. His accounts lined up with Kravitz' death ledger on all his friends, so hopefully that would make Kravitz believe him.

"So this is some sort of curse you're suffering through?" Kravitz asked, brows furrowed as he tried to sort through all his thoughts.

"Dunno if that's the cause of it, but, sure. It sure feels like a curse." Taako leaned back in his seat, relaxed. He wasn't afraid of Kravitz or his death magic anymore, he'd run into it enough. If he tried anything funny, Taako could retaliate easily. And he wasn't the strongest guy in the world, but it'd be easy to take down Kravitz since he was half his size (he really wanted to hug this small Kravitz, but he refrained). "If you want to go tell your goddess that a witch kissed us and forced us into this mess, that's cool."

"I have a feeling she wouldn't believe that." Kravitz materialized his scythe in his hand. Not in a threatening way. Just as a reminder. "I still have to do my job, Taako."

"No you don't." Taako put a hand on the scythe, forcing it downwards. He was absolutely going to use the height advantage as much as possible with this Kravitz. "Listen, I swear you don't want to try anything funny. Barold is a baby necromancer, he's got a failsafe to make it impossible for you to find us. Better off just letting us run off for a year."

Kravitz frowned. Taako could see the gears turning in his head. "Barold...the one in the jeans?"

"C'yeah, he's a supernerd." Over the years, he'd gotten fond of Barry. They weren't best friends or anything, but it was hard to spend eight years with anyone and not care for them a little bit. He and Lup had worked closely with Barry, it was hard not to blabber on about the dude. "He's not, like, the most powerful necromancer in the world, but he knows enough to hide from you. I think he's studying more since you keep hunting us, though."

"Ah. Well." Kravitz stared at the wall, processing all this information. Taako let the room fall into silence. Didn't want to take any of this to chance. If he couldn't get Kravitz to stop chasing the crew, then that would mean that everyone who had died would be taken away--four out of seven. That was too many people to lose in one month. And Taako wasn't looking forward to see what death prison looked like. No, he needed to play it cool. If he could diffuse this now...then that'd mean the rest of the year would be easier for the rest of the crew.

When Kravitz spoke again, his voice was quiet. "You said we were...involved?"

"A couple times," he said, neutral, even though his heart fluttered as Kravitz brought the subject back up. "We don't gotta do anything if you don't want, but, also the offer is totally out there if you want it. Just don't tell my sister."

Kravitz stayed silent for a few more minutes. He watched Taako carefully, and then nodded. His scythe disappeared out of his hands in a puff of smoke. "I think I will take the offer."

"Really?" Taako couldn't hold back his smile--if Kravitz said yes, then that'd be the third year in a row Taako got his boyfriend back.

"Yes. You're..." Kravitz offered a small smile, just a tad awkward. "You're quite something."

Wasn't the best compliment Kravitz ever gave him, but maybe this Kravitz needed some time to get used to Taako. Fair enough. Most of the other Kravitzes jumped right in, pulled into Taako's charm like a paperclip into a vacuum cleaner, but that didn't mean that all of them were that comfortable with Taako at first contact.

But, still, Taako smiled wider at the compliment. He was getting to be a sucker for Kravitz.

"So, uh. You. Want to set up a date, or somethin'?" Taako asked, once he pulled his head down from the cloud he was riding.

"I'm fairly busy, but yes." Kravitz walked up closer to him and handed him a paper with a glyph on it. "If you draw this into a wall and press some nightshade into it, we can talk."

He held the paper in his hands and studied the glyph (his heart beat faster than a drum--this was like getting a phone number). Seemed simple enough. He'd just have to find where nightshade grew on this planet.

"I should be on my way," Kravitz said, shifting into a skeleton again.

He was a bit disappointed that Kravitz couldn't stay and talk, but Taako got it. His goddess always pulled him away to missions and whatever. Not a big deal. Just meant that Taako would be extra affectionate when he had Kravitz all to himself. Taako scrambled out of his seat and walked over to Kravitz, pressed a kiss to the top of his skull as an instinct. "Cool, I'll call you."

Kravitz froze, both his hands clenched and held into his chest. Taako couldn't see his expression because his skin was gone, but Taako knew alternate versions of him well enough to tell that the action made Kravitz deeply uncomfortable.

"Oof, sorry, uh--sort of, sort of forgot that I gotta start at square one every year." Taako stepped backwards, giving Kravitz a wide berth of space. "You, uh. You should tell me what you're okay with, next time we meet up."

"...Right." Kravitz turned to him, his face still a skull, and nodded once. "I'm sorry, I'm just--not very fond of. Physical affection."

"Oh, yeah, that's cool." Taako hadn't even considered Kravitz could be asexual or generally touch-averse in other planes. It didn't change his feelings at all, but it was something he'd have to be mindful of in the future. Again, he actually _liked_ Kravitz, and cared about his boundaries. And Kravitz always cared about his. So it worked out. "Not a problem. Taako'll--I'll keep that in mind."

"Thank you." Kravitz gave a little wave and phased through the wall. "Talk to you later."

"Yeah," Taako said, still with a goofy grin on his face. Once Kravitz was gone, he flopped down onto his bed and shoved his face into his pillow. This Kravitz was shyer than normal, but that wasn't a problem. As much as he tried not to think about it, Taako _had_ fallen for every Kravitz that spoke to him for more than ten minutes. He was pretty convinced that all Kravitzes were the same. He wasn't sure _how_ yet, but that was his hypothesis. He'd just have to prove it. Needed more data.

Sure, this Kravitz was more different than the previous ones, but he figured he was a gnome because only the smaller races lived on this planet, and he figured he was shy because this Kravitz was just...more cautious this year? Or he was nervous that he'd have to live up to the previous Kravitzes.

Taako would have to work on his explanation to future Kravitzes. But that didn't mean this year was ruined.

* * *

Barry died the next day. 

"He must have been sensitive to the spores," Merle said, after a cursory examination of the body. "He did inhale a good amount of them while checking the atmosphere."

"He was only outside for a second." Lup frowned, holding Taako's hand so tight she could have dislodged all his joints. No matter how many times someone in the crew died, she never took it well. Taako didn't like it either, but _come on--_ it's not like they were gone forever. He only got fidgety when Lup died last year, and that was only because she was everything to him.

"Well, there aren't any humans on this planet. It could affect them more violently." Merle put away his medical supplies and sighed. "What do you guys want to do with the body this year?"

Lucretia hummed. "We can't do the flaming sea burial again, there isn't a lot of ocean space on this planet."

"Is that what you did with mine?" Taako asked.

"Yeah," Lup said, squeezing his hand harder, "in year six."

"Tight." Taako stepped closer to her and wrapped his free arm around her shoulder. He knew she needed the contact. He'd try to do his best not to die on her so often. "Next time, bronze me."

"I don't want there to be a next time." Lup side-hugged him, leaning her head against his shoulder. "We still have to figure out what to do with Barry."

"Couldn't we just bury him like normal people?" Davenport asked, a bit snippy. "We don't have to reinvent the wheel every time."

"Cool your jets, Cap'pn, we're just trying to have some fun!" Lup chewed on the meat of her thumb as she thought. She didn't bite her nails, ever. Taako would kill her if she did. "Oh, you know what he'd like? Let's put him out in the mushroom forest and see how long it takes the fungus to decompose him."

Taako snorted. "He'd only like that if you're willing to go out and take notes every week."

"I was planning on it," Lup said, dead serious.

"A lot of upkeep for a burial, isn't it?" Taako watched Lup, watched the determination in her eyes and felt her desperate grip on him. Taako had gotten fond of Barry over the years, and Lup must have, too. The three of them worked together often enough. Probably inevitable that they'd be friends. Too bad they lost him this year. "If you want to do that, it's fine, just don't drag me into your nerd experiments."

"It's not a nerd experiment." Lup whacked Taako in the arm. "He's getting into necromancy now, I think he'd want the data on body decomposition."

"That's literally the nerdiest thing you've ever said to me."

"I've said worse."

"That doesn't make it any better." Taako leaned on Lup's shoulder, putting his whole weight on her. "You're still a nerd."

Lup just hummed, eyes on Barry's corpse.

* * *

Taako paced back and forth around the edges of the mushroom forest, where the citizens of Fungston had put a fence to mark the safety zone. He adjusted his gas mask. As soon as that halfling came back with gas masks for the crew to use, Taako and Lup spent an hour bedazzling the hell out of them. The rain fell fast and hard, like it always did on this planet. Taako cast an enchantment so that the water wouldn't fall on him. Umbrellas were for clowns and chumps, and he needed his hands free. He'd have to refresh the enchantment in a bit--he'd been waiting for Kravitz for almost an hour. They were supposed to have a date today.

Kravitz had been late to dates because of his job before, but this was ridiculous.

Right before Taako turned to leave, though, he felt a chill behind him and saw Kravitz' little gnome skeleton phase through one of the giant mushrooms. Suddenly, all his complaints about Kravitz being late were gone. Now, he was just happy to see his boyfriend. He was a vision, like always. There must have been something about the Raven Queen every year that made her want to outfit all her workers in fancy clothes. Or maybe that was just a Kravitz thing.

"Hey! There he is," Taako said, running up to meet Kravitz. Didn't touch him or kiss him. He could respect Kravitz' boundaries. "Better late than never, huh?"

"Sorry." Kravitz put his face on, flashing an apologetic smile. "Work ran long."

"It's cool." It wasn't cool, Taako had been waiting for almost an hour in the humid rain, but he didn't want to start his date with Kravitz off on the wrong foot. Taako hooked his leg over the fence and hopped into the danger zone, soggy twigs and tiny mushrooms crunching under his feet.

"You're going past the fence?" Kravitz asked.

"Yeah, I want to see what's up with these 'shrooms." Taako touched some of the caps and bioluminescent spores puffed off of them. Good thing he wore his mask. He didn't want to die like Barry did; he had plans for this cycle. "I'm thinking of doing some crafts with them."

"...Crafts." Kravitz phased through the fence, not even bothering to try hopping the fence.  

"Uh-huh, so, check it: I'm going to make a _fake_ Light of Creation." Taako turned to grin at Kravitz. He stared back at him, expressionless. Taako scrunched his face up, and then realized that Kravitz probably had no fucking clue what he was talking about. "You know what that is?"

Kravitz tilted his head to the side. "That thing you said you were looking for?"

"Yeah. It's like. A ball of light and it makes science happen." That was a way oversimplified explanation of what the Light actually was, but Taako didn't want to bog the dude down with calculations and a bunch of arcane jargon. "And the big shadow comes and tries to eat it, so, like. Maybe if I make a decoy, that'll--that'll stop the, uh, shadow."

"Hm." Kravitz kept his lips tight and his face serious.

Taako sweat under his mask, not used to...awkward conversation. Kravitz was normally so good at keeping a chatty flow going. Even when they were both nervous, they could keep up a good rapport. So, Taako just started babbling to fill the silence. "I won't be able to, uh--to do much, like this. I'm just workin' on the chicken wire and the papier-mâché right now, but, once Magnus gets back from his expedition, I can, uh, get this going." Taako picked up a mushroom that glowed neon orange. "Thinking of using these mushrooms to get that glowing property."

Kravitz seemed interested now. "Magnus, he was...one of your friends?"

"Uh, c'yeah, there's only seven of us. Keep up." Taako didn't know if he should be thrilled or disappointed that Kravitz wanted to hear about his crew. It wasn't as if Taako could let them all hang out. He needed to keep this a secret from Lup. Still, it was a good sign that Kravitz finally asked a question. "He's the really big one. Huge. Could probably chop you in half if he wanted."

"I would prefer he didn't," Kravitz said, stepping backwards as if Magnus was going to jump out behind Taako at any second.

"He won't, he's like a puppy." Even though it wasn't the best conversation, Taako latched onto it, _hard._ Wanted to keep Kravitz' interest. "Did you know he sleeps with a fuckin' nightlight?"

"Really."

"Yeah." Taako laughed. "Only needs it to fall asleep, I've turned it off in the middle of the night to try and punk him. Didn't work. Bastard sleeps through _anything."_

Kravitz' ears flicked to the side. _"Anything?"_

"It's so fucking bad." Taako laughed again. Fuck, it almost felt like he and Kravitz were having fun again. Like the years before. "He could be getting _robbed_ and he'd sleep through it. He's slept through an earthquake and a hurricane."

"That's...quite the heavy sleeper."

"Right?" Taako leaned on one of the mushrooms. "I feel bad for Lup, she's--she's going on the expedition with him, and, I wouldn't want to be the one to wake him up."

"What are they doing on this expedition?"

"Searching for the Light, duh, why do you think I've got to wait for them to get back before starting my cool shit?" Taako crouched down a bit, gesturing wildly in between him and Kravitz. "I need to have the Light, like, in front of me. As an example."

"Ah." Kravitz folded his hands behind his back. "I see."

Taako frowned. This would normally be the part where Kravitz said something along the lines of, _I didn't know you were into arts and crafts,_ or he'd shake his head with a fond laugh. And then Taako could bounce off of that, maybe tease him a little. But this Kravitz was...pretty quiet. Which wasn't a problem. No sir. Taako was so happy to be with Kravitz again, this wasn't anything to worry about. He was obviously the same person, this was just.

A bump in the road.

* * *

They said Magnus forgot to put his mask on.

And...Taako could believe that. He probably took it off so he could eat some fuckin' hard candy.

Lup didn't take his death well, either. She'd been the one to find the body, running into Magnus' tent banging pots and pans together to wake him up. She ran back to Fungston, not even waiting for the end of the expedition, and didn't leave Taako's side for a week. When Davenport and Lucretia came back with the Light, she was happy that this world wouldn't be swallowed, but Taako could tell she was still bothered by Magnus' death.

She didn't put as much planning into his burial as she did for Barry's. Didn't have the energy for that. Instead, they just burned his body out behind the Starblaster and compressed his ashes into a diamond. They'd figure out a way to put it into one of his knives, or something. Or make it into an earring. Magnus would look good with a piercing. Just one little stud on the cartilage. Give him a bit more decoration.

Taako elected to sleep in the same bed as Lup after the second death. He stayed by her side most hours of the day. She watched him as he tried to make his fake Light. He helped pick up the slack of studying the Light while Barry was gone. They cooked elaborate meals together, burning through their cargo hold. It was probably fine. They were down two men--they could use up more food. Taako did everything he could to help Lup out. She couldn't be alone right now. With everything that happened, she wouldn't be able to sleep or meditate without him. Lup really needed to learn how to distance herself from this shit--Taako wouldn't always be alive to comfort her. But. He couldn't deny her this. That was what twins were for. They were always there for each other.

And if she needed him to stay with her at all times, then, that's what Taako was going to do.

* * *

"You've been glued to your sister lately," Kravitz said, as he watched Taako work on his fake Light. 

Okay, fine, maybe Taako had been neglecting his boyfriend while comforting his sister. But this Kravitz seemed like he appreciated the space. He wasn't super clingy or affectionate, which...yeah, that wasn't normal for most Kravitzes. Usually, as soon as they got over the initial weirdness of the situation, they were all over Taako. But this one kept his distance at all times.

And, again, Taako could...Taako could respect that.

It'd be way better if Kravitz was warmer when he spoke to Taako. He could be okay with a lack of physical contact and kisses if Kravitz would actually talk to him like he normally did. But, no. This Kravitz wasn't much for conversation. He asked questions, sure, but he never answered questions that Taako asked. So Taako didn't know how to get closer to him. He didn't know what to _do._   Obviously Kravitz wanted to date him--he'd enthusiastically expressed as much whenever Taako asked if that's really what he wanted--but he stayed closed off most of the time, not willing to crack open his shell and give Taako a vulnerable part of himself.

Fuck, was this what it was like to date Taako?

"Hey, you're not allowed to whine about that. She was dead last year and she's sad _this_ year, cha'boy's gotta do what he needs to help a girl out." Taako cut his hand on some of the chicken wire and cursed. He waved his hand in the air, waiting for the stinging to go away. "And, like, no offense, but she was my sister before you were my boyfriend, so. Priorities."

"I'm not offended. It's sweet." Kravitz cracked a smile. Taako melted. _There_ it was, just a little bit of affection. Taako starved for that. "What do you do to cheer her up?"

"You haven't noticed? We cook a lot." Taako ran to the sink to wash the blood off his hand. "And, yeah, we have some _disagreements_ on the spices, but. She's been so sad about Barry and Magnus that I'll let it slide." He wrapped his hand in a bandage. Didn't want to get any of the mushroom spores inside. "Even if I have to stomach stupid amounts of garlic."

"Garlic?"

"Our aunt used to put it in everything." Taako walked back over to his project. He inspected the Light again, thinking of how he could replicate the feeling of _want_ he felt radiating off of it. "And, sure, I can get down on some fuckin' garlic bread when I'm in the mood for it, but I don't want it in _everything."_

"Sure."

Kravitz kept silent for another few minutes. Taako knew that he couldn't pick up the conversation again. If he did, Kravitz wouldn't be very responsive. He'd get scared off. Taako didn't like that he had to watch himself so closely around Kravitz. Like, sure, he realized that being in a relationship meant he had to make certain compromises. But this Kravitz didn't ever try to meet him halfway. And. That. Was okay. Because it was Kravitz. And Taako... _liked_ Kravitz.

He didn't think about how he _loved_ the other Kravitzes he ran into. He liked this one and that was enough. Couldn't be picky. This was better than being alone.

Before Taako could even try to get Kravitz talking again, he was out of the room. Left without a word.

Taako looked back to the Light. He needed to figure out how to replicate that _craveability_ that the Light had. Otherwise, the shadow wouldn't try to eat it. For some reason, Taako and the rest of the crew weren't affected by this craving so much. Maybe it was because of the bond engine. Maybe they weren't immune--maybe their need to try and reclaim the Light was a thrall all on its own. Taako didn't know. He didn't really care, either. That was Barry's job to figure out, and Barry wasn't here. For now, Taako just wanted to make his fake Light have this weird craving property.

It wanted to be wanted, it was _clingy._

Guess he knew what that felt like.

* * *

"Arsenic," Merle said, washing his hands off.

"What?" Taako sat in his seat, shaking, Lucretia's arm on his back. Merle and Lucretia and Davenport came running into the kitchen the second they heard Taako screaming. He tried to pull himself together, but the rest of the deaths must have had more of an effect on him than he thought. He was at the very edge, and this was the last straw. "Where?" 

"In the garlic." Merle scrunched his brows up, putting gloves on so he could dispose of the tainted food. "Maybe the spores carry other chemicals in them and it got to the garlic?"

"That doesn't make any--any sense, we've--" Taako felt his breath catch in his throat. Lucretia pat her hand firmer on his back. Even though he appreciated the gesture, it wasn't _Lup._   Lup was the only person that knew how to comfort him (and he was the only person that knew how to comfort her). That was the _twin deal._ "We've used garlic before this year, it shouldn't have--we--Lup shouldn't have--"

Merle stopped him with a hand on his leg. "Hey, buddy, I know."

Taako didn't know what to do. He couldn't lose Lup _two years in a row._ He felt like he was on the edge of a breakdown, but he couldn't do that in front of people that _weren't_ his sister. But even though Taako held himself back, he still let out a choked whine, buried his head in his hands. Merle, Davenport, and Lucretia stayed quiet, letting him have this moment. Lucretia still held onto him, Merle still rubbed at his leg, and Davenport watched him with worried eyes.

"We've lost too many people this year," Davenport said, after staying silent for so long. "We really can't be careless anymore. It's going to be hard to make it the rest of the way."

"We have the Light." Lucretia held Taako closer. He leaned into the touch--needed the contact. "I think it would be a good idea to stay on the ship the rest of the year, so we don't have any more spore accidents. We can't be too careful."

Davenport smiled, kept his voice soft and warm. "That's a wonderful idea, Lucretia."

"Now, hey, wait a minute! I can't stay cooped up in here all year." Merle waved his arms around wildly. "I've got a congregation to lead."

"Merle, we can't lose anybody else." Davenport stared at him, stern and commanding. "Captain's orders, we're all staying inside."

Lucretia frowned and looked at the body laying on the kitchen floor. "What should we do with Lup?"

"Bronze her," Taako said automatically. He tried to keep his face as neutral as possible, but he heard his own voice breaking. "I'll bronze her. We can throw her out the trash chute."

Lucretia lowered her voice into the deep _Lucretia Disappointment Register_ _™_ , the one she used exclusively when one of the other crew members said something especially stupid. "I'm sorry, you want to throw your sister down the trash chute?"

"Captain doesn't want us to go outside." Taako leaned on the counter, trying to act lazy and not at all bothered by his dead sister, nope, no way. "And I don't think it's a cool idea to have Lup's body here when she reforms. She'd hate that."

"That sounds alright." Davenport gestured to the body on the ground. "Taako, you should do the honors."

"I'm literally the only person on the ship who can right now, so, c'yeah, I'm doing the honors."  Taako rolled up his sleeves, and then rolled up his other sleeves. Was it a good idea to wear two long sleeved shirts while cooking? No. Did Taako do it anyway? Of course. "Unless you three have been stealing _my_ transmutation books."

"Nobody wants to read those!" Merle yelled a bit too loud.

"Yeah, fair, even _I_ don't want to read those." Taako knelt down next to Lup, pulling out his wand from an inside pocket in his outer shirt. "The _math_ in those things."

Davenport grimaced, backing up towards the kitchen door. "Can you please get Lup situated? I don't want a corpse in the kitchen."

"Doesn't really seem sanitary," Merle said, laughing. Lucretia stared at him until he quieted down.

"Alright, yeah, I got it." Taako waved his wand at the other three. Not in a threatening way, but just to get them out of the room. "Can, uh, can a dude get some space, though? Don't want an audience for this one."

"Of course." Davenport held open the kitchen door for Merle and Lucretia. "Merle, Lucretia, come on."

"Hey." Lucretia had a hand on Taako's shoulder, squeezed it before she left him. "Stay safe, okay?"

Taako snorted. "Yeah, come on, I'm not trying to pull anything like that." He looked down at Lup. Last time she died, there wasn't much of a body to dispose of. This time, though, she was all here. Taako didn't know if that was better or worse. "I just--need some space."

"Okay." Lucretia smiled at him and walked through the door. "We can talk later."

"Sure. Whatever."

Taako waited until he heard the door shut all the way before collapsing in on himself. His forehead hit his knees and he dropped his wand to the floor. Sure, he'd get to the business of bronzing Lup, but he needed a _second_ to process this, like, emotionally. He wasn't good at that, and it would help a lot if he had Lup here to bounce his thoughts off of and help fill in the blanks.

Well. She was here, but she wouldn't be much for conversation.

He didn't need her alive to figure out exactly what happened. Taako wasn't a nerd and he wasn't the type of scientist that had a ten foot rod up their ass, but he was smart enough to figure out this little problem. Lup's death wasn't a fucking accident. There was no way spores could carry arsenic, and even if they could, Taako and Lup kept the food locked down the second they realized there were poison spores in the air. There wasn't a risk of contamination. Someone had to have planted the arsenic there.

And the answer of _who_ was so obvious, Taako kicked himself for not realizing it sooner. Maybe he could have kept Barry and Magnus alive if he hadn't been so fucking _lonely_ and desperate. That's what he got for being fucking greedy, he guessed. Wanted to have a good year with Lup _and_ have a secret boyfriend.

Speaking of which.

"Hey," Taako said, to the cold spot that formed behind him. "You're here to collect, aren't you?"

Kravitz stood behind him, scythe in hand. Expression painfully neutral. "It's my job."

"You could have _waited."_ Taako hated how much his voice broke there. He didn't want Fake Kravitz to know that he got under his skin.

"I couldn't have. I had orders from my Queen." Kravitz stepped directly behind him, speaking with an authority that Taako hadn't heard from him before. "Are you coming quietly, or do I have to do this the hard way?"

"I'll be _quiet_ , you ass." Taako groaned, and put his hands on his head. Fine. There wasn't any point in fighting him off. His sister was already dead, there wasn't any way this could get worse. "You know I'll just come back next year, right?"

"It hardly matters to me." Kravitz' skin disappeared, leaving him with only bone. He raised his scythe. "I'm just following orders."

Taako wanted to yell at him, to ask a million more questions, to ask _why,_ but Kravitz had his scythe in his back before he could say another word. Taako heard a faint clicking sound, and watched his own body fall on top of Lup's. Kravitz didn't even give him last words. There wasn't any compassion, or love, or understanding in there. Was this even the same Kravitz? That possibility seemed less and less plausible the more Taako thought about it.

Well, this sure threw off the whole _Kravitz is the same in every plane_ theory.

* * *

Taako woke up in a glass bubble, sand at his feet.

No, it wasn't a bubble. The glass was flat and wide at the top, and tapered as it got lower. He saw some decorative element above the flat plane of the glass, but couldn't make out exactly what it was from this low angle. Red sand swirled in a whirlpool beneath his feet, all tumbling towards a point in the middle of the bubble. The bubble stretched on for miles, and Taako could only see the edges because there wasn't much else to look at in between him and the glass.

Not a bubble. An _hourglass._

He didn't have bones, this time. He looked like a ghost, tinted faintly red. This time, he wore all black. It felt more like a prisoner's uniform than a nice linen shirt. There weren't any structures inside this hourglass, but Taako did see other people shambling around. Some of them were missing arms, or legs, or whole parts of their bodies were dissolved out. Taako picked up his foot, still half-submerged in sand. It was...dissolving. Very slowly. Into red sand.

This didn't feel like the Astral Plane.

This felt like a prison.

"Taako!"

Taako turned to see the source of the sound--Barry, wearing the same black prison uniform, his skin slightly red and transparent. He hobbled closer, calling out behind him. "Magnus, Lup--c'mon, Taako's here, let's-- _oof--"_ Barry stumbled and fell over. He only had one foot.

Oh, shit.

Magnus ran up and helped Barry to his foot. The two of them walked over to Taako. Upon close inspection, it seemed like Magnus was losing a pinky finger. Barry missed some skin on his arms and knees, too. Red sand fell out of their missing limbs like cheese through a grater (grated cheese...something about that made Taako pause. Could he use that in a recipe?). 

Magnus frowned, and snapped Taako out of his cheese-related thoughts. "He got you too, Taako?"

Taako shrugged. "Yeah. Kind of my own damn fault."

"I wouldn't say that," Barry said, his frown sympathetic. "You couldn't have known."

"Couldn't have known what?" Magnus asked.

"When I got taken here, Kravitz said he was, uh." Barry coughed, trying to find the most sensitive way to describe this. "Using a _unique opportunity."_

"Figures." Taako wasn't sad about Kravitz betraying him anymore. It was just. Shitty. He couldn't care _less._ Didn't bother him even a little bit. Nope. "He was kind of a shitty boyfriend this year."

"You dated him again?" Magnus was one of the few crew members that actually encouraged Taako to go after Kravitz after the second year. He always kept blabbering on about soulmates and shit, but, Taako didn't take any stock in that. He did file away the information that Magnus was a fucking sap, though.

"Yeah." Taako pulled at his sleeves, wishing the fabric wasn't so thin. He wasn't nervous, he. Didn't care about what just happened at all. It didn't matter, since they would all come back in a year. "Kind of kept it on the down-low, bu--"

_"TAAKO!"_

And then he saw his sister running full speed towards him. Not in the _I'm glad to see you_ way, but in the _I'm going to kick your fucking ass_ way.

Taako didn't know if he could sweat in this soul form, but he was about to find out. "Question: did you tell Lup what Kravitz told you?"

"Uh--" Barry nodded, his movements slow and sluggish. "Yeah, why?"

And then Lup decked Taako in the face with her ghost fist.

"You _DUMBASS!"_ She didn't seem to care that Taako fell to the sand floor. He didn't feel pain in this form and she knew that, but it was still _rude._ She picked him up off the ground and got all up in his face, angrier than he'd seen her in years. "Were you talking to Kravitz this _whole time?"_

"I--well--" Taako looked down at the sand. He couldn't come up with a good lie. "I mean, yes."

"You're--I ca--" Lup let go of him, pinching the bridge of her nose and doing a lap in the sand. Pacing. Needing to get some of her energy out. Oh, shit, Taako hadn't seen her this pissed in _decades._   She ran back to him before finishing her lap, restless. "Fuck, Taako, why would you go after him again?"

"You liked him the first year, what's the big deal?"

"He wasn't trying to actively kill you! And I didn't know he was a total _ass_ back then." Lup shrunk in on herself a little, speaking under her breath. "Just, fuckin'...left you with no warning? How is that a good dude, Taako?" She blinked, realized that Taako threw her off in a tangent. "You're getting off track. Why'd you go after him again?"

"I, uh." Taako knew that look on Lup's face. He knew there wasn't use hiding anything from her like this. If she found out he was lying, she'd lose her shit. Taako sighed, pulled her away from Barry and Magnus to speak to her in semi-privacy. "I went after him last year. And we spent a lot of time together in--in the Astral Plane the year before."

"And you didn't tell me?" It should have been illegal for her to weaponize disappointment like this.

"You keep tryin' to chase him away from me!"

"Because look where he got us!" Lup opened her arms wide and pointed them to the shitty hourglass prison they stood inside. She forced herself to stay calm, trying to speak to Taako rationally. "Taako, listen. I--I _get_ it, you're. It's been a rough couple of years for you, and that's fine, but you can't keep doing this."

Taako crossed his arms. "I've been _fine,_ Lup, you don't gotta baby me."

"Don't I?" Lup pushed her foot farther into the sand and groaned. Whoops, not calm anymore. Goodbye, rational Lup. Hello angry Lup. "Because, from where I'm standing, it seems like I've got to! Or else you go after the dude that wants to throw the majority of our crew into ghost prison!"

"It wasn't my fault he was such a downer this year." Taako went on the defensive, angling his soul body away from Lup. She punched him in the shoulder and her hand went right through him. "He's usually-- _OUCH,_ Lup, what the fuck was that for?"

"Don't say _ouch,_ I know you can't feel _shit."_   Lup squinted her eyes at him. He could see her listing through every wrong thing Taako just said in her brain. She was figuring out what to call him out on first. "And don't say _this year_ like you're planning on--on going after him again! This stops now, alright?"

"It's none of your business!"

"Obviously it is! Look at this--" She pointed over to Magnus and Barry, ten or fifteen yards away, nervously watching Lup and Taako fighting. "Magnus and Barry and I wouldn't _be here_ if you could just calm your dick down for two seconds!"

"I mean--I guess--like, fair, but." Taako kicked up some sand, frustrated. Some of his toe washed away when he did. "We'll come back next year."

"And what are Davenport and Lucretia and Merle going to do until then?" Lup frowned, raising her chin like she did whenever she was making too much sense and was about to tell Taako why he was wrong. "I wouldn't give a shi--okay, wait, I _would_ give a shit about who you dated, but I would give less of a shit about you and Kravitz if it didn't put our whole crew _and you_   into jeopardy."

"Okay, you know what? Fair. That's fine. I get that. But, like, does this mean we have to put a ban on me dating _every_ Kravitz?" Taako smiled nervously, hoping Lup would calm down and see his side of this? Maybe? Knowing her, though, she wouldn't stop until Taako agreed with her. But he'd put up a fight for this one. "This was the first year he did something this bad while I was dating him, I--wasn't, uh, wasn't paying attention."

Lup sighed, laid a hand on his arm. "He's bad every year. He just _leaves_ you, Taako, that's not cool."

"What if that's--" Taako shrugged, his voice going way out of register as he prepared to say something dumb. "Maybe that's supposed to happen?"

 Lup stared at him like he grew five extra limbs. "Are you out of your fucking mind?"

"No, hold on, _listen--"_ His voice kept cracking as he went on his weird theory. Taako didn't necessarily believe it, but. It was all he had right now. He needed to _try_ and convince Lup that this was alright. "Dude always leaves one week before the shadow comes. Like fuckin' clockwork. Doesn't that seem...like, planned?"

"Oh." Lup grit her teeth, trying to wrap her head around this dumb thing Taako said. "So let me get this straight--"

"Impossible with me, but go on--"

_"You're a menace,"_ she said, still frowning. Usually that joke would get her to laugh, but she brushed it off. Really fucking pissed, then. She ran fingers through her hair, speaking long and slow. "But--hold on. Let me spell this one out. You think--you, Taako, my own brother--you think Kravitz is connected to the vore shadow."

"Per-haps."

Lup raised her voice. "And you still want to _date him?"_

"All I'm worried about is if he's the same dude." Taako held both his hands up, defending himself from anything Lup would do. Not that she could kill him right now. But she could try. "And other than this year? Seems like he is."

"You need to stop this shit, Taako." If the twins had physical bodies right now, Lup would be gripping his arm hard enough to leave bruises. "He's not the same person. You're just going to hurt yourself."

Taako blew out a raspberry, not taking this seriously at all. "You're just saying that 'cause you're single."

_"You're single, too!"_ Lup squeezed him tighter. "You and Kravitz _aren't a thing!"_

"We were last year."

"Damn it, can't you just--" Lup broke off of him, making another lap in the sand. "Listen to me?"

Taako considered brushing her off. She was overreacting. And, sure, he fucked up this year, but it wasn't like he was going to rush in and do that a second time. He didn't agree with what she said, not even a little bit, but she was also his sister. So, really, he couldn't just brush her off. All he did was sag his shoulders and make a defeated _go on_ gesture, ready to hear what she had to say. If she was going to blow up on him, well. He'd deal.

"If you're going to do this again," she said, her voice raising as if she was gearing up to yell at him agan, "fine." Lup quieted back down, concerned. "Whatever. I don't--you can make all the bad decisions you want. But you have to _tell me_ you're doing it. So this--" she gestured all around her, pointing all over the hourglass, "--doesn't happen again."

"Fine," he said, as cold as he could.

"You promise?"

"Yeah." Taako nodded weakly, defeated by Lup's pleas. "I'll tell you if I go after him again."

"Good." Lup's eyes softened, and she sat down into the sand, arms wide. "Come here?"

He could have ignored her, could have just... _not._ Or maybe he couldn't. Maybe he was physically incapable of refusing the invitation. Taako dropped down to his knees and practically fell into Lup, politeness or social norms be damned. They never subscribed to that anyway.

"--'m sorry," he whispered into her shoulder, exhausted after everything.

"It's _fine,"_   she said, in a high whine. She adjusted her tone. "It's fine."

The two sat together for a long time. Eventually, they huddled over next to Magnus and Barry, waiting out the last of the year, slowly dissolving into sand.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> since last chapter was very sweet, this chapter..........wasn't :)
> 
> sorry, tattoo theory people, but there's nothing for you today!!! next week there's a good lot, though. another BIG clue.
> 
> next chapter is focused on love, friendship, and ear piercings! thanks for reading!


	5. Cycle 14

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Taako improves his social links. Barry's got an idea.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> content warning: two people get their ears pierced in this chapter. not very graphic, and there's a lot of warning beforehand. also, PSA, only get your ears pierced by a professional!

Lucretia started calling the shadow the Hunger. The name was a bit on the nose, but Davenport was tired of Taako and Lup calling it _Big Gulp_.  So, whatever, now that was the official name. Delightful.

Year fourteen. Or, cycle fourteen. It sure felt like they were going in circles, in loops, round and around. Nobody aged. Now that it had been more than a decade, they were able to tell that for sure. That was unsettling for the humans in their crew, but Lup and Taako would look more or less the same after a decade, so that didn't affect them. They were able to set the clock on the year's behaviors at this point. They'd land in. A couple days later, the Light of Creation would fall down. A couple weeks after that, scouts showed up in other planes. Taako learned how to check for them. And then, things would be quiet, and they could search for the Light. As the final month of the year drew to a close, all the color would sap out of the plants and sky. Merle's magic would weaken. If Kravitz was friendly and present, he would leave exactly one week before the first of the Hunger's tendrils touched down.

Then the Hunger would come, either to devour the planet and the Light, or to chase the Starblaster out of the far reaches of the plane.

It wasn't a fun time.

Even though Lup resigned herself to the fact that Taako was _probably_ going to keep dating Kravitz, he was reluctant to go after him for a while. A guy comes and kills your sister and most of your coworkers? No, too difficult to kiss him after that. In the five years since the fungus incident, Taako only dated him once. The other four years, Kravitz was either too aggressive or didn't come to visit. And the one year he _did_ date Kravitz wasn't a picnic either. Did it count as dating if Taako only went on two dates with him, and then was too fucking cowardly to call him back?

Now, Taako was just...too worried that Kravitz would turn on him in the middle of a date.

Lup comforted him, as always, but Taako could tell she was glad he stopped dating Kravitz.

And he'd be okay with that, if Lup would stay by his side like she always did.

But _no,_ she kept fucking off to hang out with the rest of the crew. She did dumb stunts with Magnus, had weird experiment parties with Barry, picked on Merle, had late night conversations with Lucretia, and ribbed on Davenport until he loosened up a little. There were some weeks where she'd go off on some expedition with a coworker, and Taako would be left alone on the ship for a month (not _alone,_ but hell if he was going to knock on Barold's door when he felt lonely). His time with Lup was squeezed into meals and the pitch black nights when only elves were awake. The conversations he actually _had_ with her were filled with stories about some cool thing her and Magnus did, and how she got Barry all stumbling and flustered after an offhand comment (he'd have to circle back on that one later). When she invited him to come with her to hang out with another crew member, it always felt like Taako was the third wheel. And, sure, Taako didn't _need_ his sister to be with him at all times, but that was how their relationship _always_ shook out, since birth. Nobody can separate Taako and Lup.

Except Lup, apparently.

Worst part: she acted like Taako was willing to do the same. Sure, fine, Taako tolerated the crew, it was hard not to after all the shit they'd been through, but he didn't seek out company with them. They weren't a source of comfort. They were coworkers in a shitty situation, and that's where Taako drew the line. It was fun to hear Lucretia say batshit things with the flattest voice and it was amusing when Magnus jumped off the Starblaster at Barry's request (testing the gravity, hopefully), but he didn't feel the need to interact any farther. He was cool to sit back and observe and wait for his sister to come over to talk to him.

Lup was not cool with that, and constantly tried to drag him into the action.

Taako would rather _not,_ thanks.

But this year, he didn't have much of a choice.

This year, the six of them were on an extended camping trip. That's right--the six of them. Davenport was up in the ship, leaving it open in case the six could come back. But they couldn't. Why was that? _Fucking Kravitz,_ that was why. He barged into the Starblaster within the first ten minutes of them touching down and swung his scythe around like he was trying to break a piñata open. Turned out this plane had a strict _no necromancy_ policy. This was normal for some planes, but it made surviving so much more difficult. Now, Merle and Lucretia had bounties on their heads, too, so Kravitz was after _all of them._

The six ran out of the Starblaster and left Davenport with negotiations.

When Davenport's negotiation with Kravitz went south, Barry cast some low-level necromancy spells to hide, and then the rest of the crew booked it into the woods. They could hide out until Kravitz gave up on the hunt, and then get back to their captain to start the year proper.

Except, Kravitz didn't give up on the hunt.

It felt like he was around every corner, like the crew was always two steps away from stepping right into his scythe arc. A couple of times, he tried to trick them. Had a shitty mimic of Pan's voice try to get Merle to come out of the bushes (Lucretia had to hold Merle back). Offered them jerky and hard candy (Barry had to remind Magnus it was a trick). Said he'd give a lil' smooch to whoever came out of hiding first (Lup elbowed Taako in the stomach).

After a few weeks of running around in the woods, the crew found a river that ran into a cave. It looked like a good place to hide. The running water would cover the sound of their footsteps, and they'd be able to get shelter from the weather. They might even be able to contact Davenport and let him know they're safe.

And that's when the disaster came in.

Magnus ran into the cave first, because of course he did. But once he passed the entrance, he fell down. The rest of the crew came into the cave and saw that the river actually went _downwards._ Not downwards like a gentle slope.

Downwards, y'know, like a _waterfall._

But it wasn't too bad. Magnus wasn't injured--they gave him shoes with auto-featherfall a couple cycles ago, since he kept trying to jump off the ship. Magnus only fell down because he rushed in, but the rest of the crew could stay on the rocks because they were being careful. Well. Everyone except Lucretia and Taako, who failed their athletics rolls and tumbled down the falls. Taako managed to pop off a featherfall on the two of them. So that was good news.

Then, Magnus had to whoop and yell _a little too loud,_ and the rocks started falling.

They crashed into the water and the water fell over them in waves, sending them far back into the cave. They weren't sure how far away the water pushed them from the rest of the crew, but it didn't matter much when the falling rocks sealed off the path back to the entrance of the cave. The little space they found themselves in had a pool of water next to the rock barricade, and then a flat plane of rock just past that. It would be the perfect place to set up camp if Lup, Merle, and Barry were there. But it wasn't like they could move all the rocks out of the way by themselves--Taako wasted his spell slots earlier, Lucretia didn't have a lot of lifting strength, and Magnus _was_ strong, but not strong enough to lift solid boulders twice the size as him.

So they figured it would be best to wait there and set up camp until they could reunite with the rest of the party. Kravitz wouldn't know to look for them here, since the entrance was closed off with rocks.

They were trapped, they were separated, but they were safe.

For now.

Taako gave out the bare minimum of their rations. He knew how to make it last. Lucretia and Magnus, thankfully, didn't press him on why he knew how to do this. Instead, they focused their efforts to set up camp. Made it cozy, hoping to establish some sense of normalcy. Taako didn't even bother getting his bedroll out. He wouldn't be able to meditate _or_ sleep separated from Lup. Fine, all it meant was that he could keep watch.

Once it was clear that they weren't going to hear anything from Lup, Merle, or Barry, they settled down. Taako knew that none of the humans in the crew got enough sleep this year, so he figured he should find a cool spot to sit and keep watch at. He found a rock that had a little dip in the top. Delighted to have found a rock that looked so much like a chair, Taako ran over to it and perched on top of it. Lucretia held back a giggle.

"You look like a meercat," Lucretia said, smiling into her hand.

"You look like someone who needs to keep her thoughts to herself," he answered, although she could have been right. Whatever. Didn't matter. Taako's whole style was based on making dumbass things look good.

Lucretia simply smiled again and got back to making camp.

They stayed quiet for a bit. Fine. Taako wasn't much for conversation right now. He preferred this. He pulled out his Uncle John's Elven Bathroom Reader (the only book he had on hand before Kravitz chased them out) and thumbed through the pages. Sure, he could probably recite this book in his sleep, but he was bored and needed something to occupy his time with. Something other than socializing. Because he was not going to do that.

But, Taako was an unlucky asshole. Magnus shuffled over to Taako's sitting spot, as non-threatening and warm as possible. Looked like he wanted to talk. _Gross._

"Hey, buddy," he said, awkwardly squatting down in front of him.

"Magnus." Taako decided not to comment on the whole _buddy_ thing. He and Magnus weren't really friends. Lup was his friend and his sister, everyone else was supplementary.

"You doing okay this year?" Magnus asked, acting like they were at the level of companionship where Taako would answer something like that honestly.

"What does it look like?" And, sure, Taako could have been nicer about that, but also Lup wasn't here to kick his attitude into shape.

"Yeah, it's not great, is it?" Magnus leaned back on his hands, like he was planning on taking this conversation further. Great. Time for Taako to strap into whatever fresh hell this was. "Not our best year, but, maybe it'll be better next time?"

Taako's patience snapped. "Full offense, but can you get to the fuckin' point?"

"I, uh, I haven't pierced my ear this year. I need to put my stud in." Magnus took his earring out of his pocket. Lup made it for him after he died in the Mushroom Kingdom. It was simple, but Magnus asked her to pierce his ear at the beginning of every year so that he could wear it immediately. Not that they had the time yet. "Do you know how to do it?"

"Where do you think Lup got all her piercings?" He closed his book and flung it behind him. Guess he wasn't going to do much reading tonight. Taako sighed, scooted forward on his rock, and pat the front. "Fine, c'mere."

Magnus grinned and sat with his back up against the rock. He was tall enough that Taako didn't even have to lean over to reach his ear. It was at perfect piercing height. It was a good thing that Taako kept a sewing needle on him at all times. Not the best for piercing, and probably not safe, but Taako could do this in his sleep. He pulled the needle out of his hat and pinched Magnus' ear, casting frost as he did so.

"Just on the lobe again?" he asked, pulling Magnus by the lobe. "And give me the stud."

"Yeah." Mangus handed the earring up to Taako.

"Because I could do the nose, if you wanted."

"Maybe I'll get one for the nose next time we find a place selling them." Magnus turned his head as much as Taako's tight grip allowed and smiled. "I don't want you to have to transmute that one to fit in the nose. It's perfect the way it is."

"Fine, fine, gotcha..." Taako held Magnus' head closer, burned the end of the needle to sterilize it. "You're not going to scream this time?"

"I only did that the first time! I'm used to it now!" Magnus smiled and held his feet as he sat, like a kid.

"Mhmm." Taako held a tight grip on Magnus so he couldn't go away. Figured he could mess with him a bit. He pinched Magnus' ear tight, just enough so he'd be able to feel it through the numbing spell, and cast an illusion on the needle to make it look bloodied. Taako let go of Magnus' ear and gasped. _"Oops!"_

Magnus' hand shot up to his ear. He spun around to look at Taako, needle in his hand. All the color drained from Magnus' face. "Oops!? Oops, what do you mean, _oops??"_

Taako grinned. "My bad."

_"What'd you do?"_ Magnus held both his arms out to Lucretia, beckoning her over. "Lucretiaaaa, what'd he do?"

"Nothing," Lucretia answered, walking over to their little rock piercing station. "He's being a dumbass."

"Am not," Taako said, nose up in the air.

"Are _too."_   Lucretia snorted and shook her head. "Keep him in one piece, won't you?"

Taako held onto Magnus' ear again, dispelling the illusion on the needle and casting Frost one more time. He picked up a pebble from the ground and set it behind Magnus' ear so he wouldn't puncture his finger during the piercing. "Don't worry, Creesh, I'm not breaking him."

"He's a little too sturdy for that." Lucretia sat down to Magnus and held his hand. Maybe he'd make less noise like that. "You're doing piercings?"

"Yeah." Taako drove the needle through in one push. He'd done this enough times to make it painless and quick. Magnus still yelped in surprise. Taako kept pushing the needle through, throwing the rock down once he punctured skin. He slipped the earring through the new hole and looked down at Lucretia. "Got any requests?"

"I bought this last plane," she said, reaching into her jacket. She pulled out an elaborate piece of jewelry. One silver chain with two posts, and a veil of thin chains hanging down. "I wanted to try it out."

"It's meant for elves, but I think we can get it to work on you." Taako finished Magnus up and kicked him in the back. "Okay, make sure you, uh, don't take that out for a couple months."

"I know. I'll wash it, too." Magnus grinned up at him, big and wide and warm. "Thanks, Taako."

"I mean, if you want to thank me for drilling a hole in your ear, that's your call." Taako kicked him a bit more forcefully. "C'mon, out of the way, I've got more holes to make."

Mangus scooted out of the way and Lucretia sat down. Lucretia had a couple inches on Magnus, so Taako actually had to sit upright to get to her ears. She reached up to pull her curls up into a hair tie, but her hands paused, hovering a few inches above the scalp. That's right. She had Lup buzz off her fro for stealth purposes. She looked down into her lap, sad. Taako wasn't sure what to _do_ with that, he wasn't a fucking therapist, but he figured it would be best if he distracted her.

"You sure you want to do something this big as the first piercing?" Taako held onto Lucretia's ear piece, fanning it out. It was a bit too heavy for a first piercing, especially since she'd have to keep it on and clean it for two months. "We could put in something small and change them out for this later."

"I think I should be fine."

"Really? 'Cause you'll have to keep it in for six whole weeks without removing it. Even when you're sleeping." Taako reached into his bag and spilled out a few earrings into Lucretia's hand. "I've got starters here I haven't used yet, hadn't really--haven't really gotten time to pierce Lup this year."

"Whatever you think would work best, then." Lucretia picked out two earrings that matched. Just simple ones, nothing crazy. Easy to sleep in. Taako held up the bigger piece, adjusting it around Lucretia's head so he knew where to put the holes.

"This part goes on the cartilage here, where do you want the end to go into? Eyebrow?"

"Maybe I could try that next year, but...I'd like to start with something easier than that, if that's alright?"

"Yeah, it's cool." Taako set the piece down, sterilized the needle again, and took the two earrings Lucretia picked out into his hand. "I'll just put it on the other ear."

Taako pierced Lucretia's ears, with Magnus sitting next to her for support. Not that Lucretia needed it. She took the whole thing better than Magnus did. Didn't squirm, didn't flinch, didn't complain. Taako cleaned all his equipment off and let go of Lucretia. He grabbed for the jewelry.

"So, check it, you can put it back here like this," Taako said, holding the elaborate piece on the back of her head, demonstrating how she would attach it. He swung the brunt of the beads and chains over to the front so that it covered her nose and mouth. "Or you can put it on the front, get sort of a _don't talk to me_ vibe."

Lucretia grinned wide, which was a rare thing. Girl was too quiet sometimes. She held the jewelry in her hands, and then touched one of the new piercings on her ear. "That should be wonderful! Thank you."

Both Magnus and Lucretia were smiling at him now, and that was...it was actually pretty fine. As much as Taako didn't like to think about it, he did, actually, give a shit about the rest of the crew. That was more difficult to admit than he'd like, but. It was true. Maybe Lup was pushing him to hang out with them for a reason.

Not that Taako would tell her she was right about that. She'd just get a big head that way.

He shooed the two humans away. Mostly to maintain his brand, but also because they looked _exhausted_ and humans needed sleep. This was the safest sleeping spot they had in months, it would be good for them to catch up while they could. They'd figure out how to get out of this rock prison in the morning. Either that, or Lup would figure out they were trapped in here and blast the rocks away.

Taako wondered if Lup was doing alright.

Like, of course she was, she was _Lup,_ but. Knowing her, she would try some pretty dangerous stunts to try and reunite with the crew. She'd be fine, like, _physically,_ sure, and she wouldn't do anything to put Barry or Merle in danger. But as much as she liked to hang out with the rest of the crew, it messed her up when she got separated from Taako.

Maybe he should make a contingency plan with some other crew members for the years he dies.

Barry would be the most likely to agree to that--he and Lup were good friends by now, and he had the best understanding of how Lup and Taako operated. But he was also dead a lot of the time. Lucretia was more careful, and she hung out with Lup outside of work the most, but she might also refuse and ask Taako to just be more careful. Merle was out of the question, because gross, and Magnus would work until the second he decided to rush into something stupid. Possibly with Lup in tow. Davenport was probably the most responsible, given he hadn't died and was the captain, but he was always so _official._ And it wasn't like he could ask Kravitz, that was kind of a mixed bag.

Eh, whatever. He'd have time to figure it out.

Whatever he came up with wouldn't help Lup _now,_ anyway. He knew she would refuse to sleep or meditate until she found where the rest of the crew went. Hopefully Merle could convince her to get some rest. She always ignored meditation when she worried, which, guess that ran in the family. Taako definitely couldn't meditate when he was...

Wait.

His eyes shot open. Magnus and Lucretia were asleep in their bedrolls. Their fire had sizzled out. Taako rubbed at his own eyes, realizing he had been meditating thinking about his sister. Well, that's one way to get some rest. But _someone_ needed to keep watch, and even if it was easier to wake up a meditating elf than a sleeping one, Taako wanted to be at full attention. This year's Kravitz could have been clever enough to take his soul during meditation hours.

Would it kill the universe to give him a Kravitz that was _chill?_

Taako wouldn't be able to date him if he was chill. He'd been so messed up about Kravitz. He could learn to deal with it if Kravitz _remembered_ him, or if he was consistent. But, no, he just got a grab bag of Kravitzes, some aggressive and some sickeningly sweet. All that did was make Taako confused on the aggressive years and too fucked up to pursue the sweet ones. He really needed to learn if Kravitz was the same person every time. But how would he even figure that out?

If he was the same person, would that make Taako feel better or worse about dating him when he could? He still wouldn't remember anything, which meant Taako had to start at square one every year. Sure, it was cute and lighthearted to be in the early stages of a relationship with Kravitz, with how easy he was to fluster and how sweet he could be. But it was really hard not to jump a couple milestones ahead. Taako had to hold himself back or risk scaring Kravitz off. The dude was patient, but it wasn't as if Taako could run up to him and declare his love and have that be an okay thing to do. He couldn't run up to Kravitz day one and run hands through his hair and down his back. First dates were difficult when Taako already knew every surface level detail about Kravitz. He could be close to him, but he couldn't be intimate with him, not in the way that two people in love for more than a year could be.

And, _fuck,_ he had been meditating again!

Taako stood up, walked over to the pool of water out by the caved in wall, and dunked his head in. This wasn't the time for resting, it was time to watch over his goddamn friends while they snored off and caught up on their sleep.

Ignore the _friends_ part of that, please.

He dipped his head farther into the water, really waking himself up. The water was lukewarm, which didn't help as much as cold water would, but it did the trick. Taako flipped his hair out of the water and found himself face to face with the rock wall.

Face to face with a hole in the rock wall.

With a _face_ looking at him through the hole.

And wasn't it just Taako's luck that it wasn't his sister's face, no, it wasn't Merle or Barry's face--but a face that was just as familiar.

_Fuck._

Once Kravitz realized his bounty was behind the fissure in the wall, he teleported into their sanctuary. Taako cast a quick silence spell around Magnus and Lucretia--with any luck, he'd deal with this before they had a chance to wake up. He could negotiate, but, Kravitz didn't look too friendly. He'd probably have to resort to actually fighting.

Was he equipped to fight Kravitz?

Physically, no. Magically, yes.

Emotionally? Hell no.

He got his first good look at Kravitz for the year. Same beautiful, handsome face. Couldn't tell the exact race, maybe some hybrid between three or four kinds. Seemed human, though, except for the ears and the feathers. But this year, he was dressed in what looked like were acolyte's robes. They were different than the ones on their home planet, but Taako didn't know if that's what all the clerics in this plane wore. The robes were made entirely of feathers and dropped to the ground. A huge hood covered his forehead (and, unfortunately, his beautiful hair). Seemed kind of inefficient. But Taako wasn't going to complain about keeping an aesthetic.

Kravitz held a big silver polearm in his hands and walked towards Taako, fire in his eyes. Taako reached for the wand in his robes. It wasn't there. He looked around and saw it floating in the pool of water next to the wall. Must have dropped in when he took a dip. Well. _Shit._ This was it.

Taako backed away, getting dangerously close to the cave wall. "Listen, it'd be better for all of us if you just _walked away."_

"I can't...um, I can't disobey my Queen's orders," he said, expression neutral even though the voice that came out of it was harried and nervous.

That...was weird.

Kravitz had been chasing them for eight months, and this...didn't seem like the same Kravitz. Sure, he _looked_ terrifying, wielding this bigass pole and slowly walking towards Taako. But nothing about his voice injected fear into Taako. In fact, it sounded...timid? Almost? Not like what they'd heard before. They'd heard jokes and tricks and shooty gun noises off in the distance, bad accents and off-temper yelling. But Kravitz had been yelling that into the air--he hadn't _seen_ his prey yet. The crew made sure of that. This, technically, was their first meeting.

Not Taako's first meeting, but. You know.

"Are you sure about that?" Taako asked, stepping backwards once more as Kravitz approached him.

"I'm very sure." That's what he said, but the waver didn't leave his voice. He held out his polearm, pointing it to Taako. "I've been asked, to. To. To imprison your souls for necromancy crimes?"

Taako's shoulders dropped, unable to take Kravitz seriously. "Dude, is that a question or a statement?"

"It's a...statement." Kravitz' expression finally broke, and he stared at the floor. "I'm. Going to read you your rights and then I'll...throw you in the Stockade."

Normally, Kravitz terrified Taako when he was on the hunt. But this time, he didn't--it was like his body was asking him to perform a task that his brain was unsure of. Maybe Taako didn't need to blast him out of this plane with a few magic missiles--maybe he could convince that unsure part of Kravitz to hold off on reaping his ass. His knowledge about Kravitz could actually come in handy here.

"Sure you are," he teased, hands behind his back with a coy smile.

"I am!" Kravitz backed Taako up to the wall.

Taako didn't show any fear. Hell, he even stepped forward one inch to put his face right up next to Kravitz', their noses almost touching. "What happened to the big bad dude that's been chasing us for eight months?"

"I'm just trying to do my job," Kravitz said, an edge of exhaustion to his voice. Was this hunt as draining on him as it was for the crew? "Please, if you'll just come with me while I collect the rest of your friends--"

"Sorry, but we can't."

"You _can't?"_ Kravitz held his polearm to his side, not actively trying to kill Taako for the time being. "That feels like a lie."

"Well, technically, yes. We can." Taako rested his back up to the wall, lazy. "But, uh, it's not like we racked up all these bounties on purpose."

"You've died four times, how is that an accident?"

Four times? That was correct, sure, but hearing it out loud was a lot. Taako felt like he'd die less under normal circumstances--or. Semi-normal. If Kravitz wasn't here to chase them around every other year, he figured he'd have way less deaths.

"I swear, it was an accident. Let's call it...extenuating circumstances." Taako looked Kravitz in the eye and blinked a few times, exaggerating the movement of his lips. If he was going to flirt his way out of this situation, he was going all out. "How about you just let us off the hook this one time? You can check back on us, if you want, make sure we're not doing anything horrible."

"Extenuating circumstances?"

"We've been running away from the apocalypse."

"The apocalypse?" Kravitz' whole deadly act fell apart in an instant. Worried, maybe, or surprised. He knit his brows together immediately after. "The world seems fine to me."

"In a couple months, a big shadow's gonna come cut off all the planes so they're not connected anymore." Taako "If you blink out into the Ethereal plane, you can see the little scouts--little big-eyed assholes, just watching."

"You're joking."

Taako held both his hands out. "Check it for yourself."

Kravitz huffed. He stood up straight with perfect posture. His eyes flashed a few different colors as he looked around the room. Taako wondered if he could see into the Ethereal plane without blinking into it. He must have, because his eyes widened and he took in a sharp breath. "Huh."

"Right?" Taako got all up in his space again. With as much flirt as he could muster (which, with Kravitz, was a lot), he took Kravitz' jaw in his hand and winked. "So, c'mon, I gave you evidence. Can't you...let this one go, handsome?"

"Taako," he said, his voice breaking in weakness.

"Kravitz," Taako answered, in the raw voice that he knew did things to Kravitz.

"How do you kno--" Kravitz froze, looked Taako, up and down, and shook his head. "It doesn't matter. Taako, I--I am very inclined to believe you, I. Don't have any reason to think that you're lying about this."

Taako smiled, a finger under Kravitz' chin. "Then let us walk, eh?"

He looked like he really wanted to. "I _can't--"_

"For me?" Taako tilted his head to the side. "Please?"

"I-I can't do that, I have--I have _orders--"_

As casually as possible, Taako looped a finger underneath Kravitz' hood and knocked it off his head. "What were your orders, exactly?"

"To imprison you and the rest of your crew."

"Well, nothing about that makes it sound like we have to go to the Stockade." Taako brushed his hand against Kravitz' ear, wondering what sort of ancestry would shape them like that. Didn't look elvish, or dwarvish--maybe gnomish? It didn't really matter. Taako smiled. Kravitz' ear was warm. Not as much as a living person's, but enough to know Kravitz was completely into everything Taako put out so far. "What if you imprisoned us somewhere _else?"_

Kravitz blinked. "Like where?"

"Like our ship." Taako let off of some of the physical contact for the time being. "It's tiny, it's cramped when seven people sit inside, and you can stand by and make sure we don't move anywhere."

"You expect me to do that for an eternity?" Kravitz asked, the prospect of saying it out loud already _extremely exhausting._

"Just for...hmm, four months." It was really three months until the Hunger was supposed to come, but Kravitz didn't need to know that. "If the apocalypse doesn't come by then, you can take us wherever the fuck you want. We just need a little more time here, that's it."

"What do you need time for?" Kravitz gripped his polearm tighter, edging towards aggressive. "What's the difference between waiting out the apocalypse in the Stockade and waiting it out in your ship?"

"Well, uh, some bigass shadow called the Hunger is going to come here and eat all of you if our crew doesn't find the Light of Creation." Taako actually tried to look genuine for this one. It wasn't like he was lying. "I swear, we won't leave the ship, we'll send Capp'nport out to get it."

"And once you get it, can I take you?"

"Well, uh." Taako clicked his teeth a few times, his voice shifting upwards. "We'd prefer if you waited until we got to studying it a little?"

"Study it," Kravitz said, flat and monotone.

"So this doesn't happen again, y'know?" Taako leaned forward and lightly elbowed Kravitz' side. "How about it? Just let us collect this light orb and then do a little bit of science on it, huh?"

Kravitz shook his head, drawing in a large breath. Unconvinced. "Who would--who would that save?"

"Other planes, mostly. But. If that's not important enough for you..." Taako held his chin in his hands, in deep contemplation. Or acting like he was. "We, uh, there's actually a Raven Queen in every plane we visit. So if you help us out here, we might be able to save your goddess later." He smiled, knowing that this was it--Kravitz was too damn loyal to his goddess to turn down the chance to save alternate versions of her.

"Oh." Kravitz frowned, stared at the ground, torn between carrying out his duty to his goddess and saving her in the future.

"So what do you say?" Taako held his hand out to shake Kravitz'.

He thought about it for a few more seconds before saying, "your friend has to stop doing necromancy." Kravitz pinned his shoulders backwards, trying to act official like he hadn't been falling for Taako's flirting for the past ten minutes. "And the rest of you will have to be banned from casting magic or using weapons."

"Sure, man, whatever gets you to stop chasing us." Taako tilted his head and extended his hand further. "Do we have a deal?"

"I think that can be arranged." Kravitz kept his hands to himself (and Taako pretended not to be disappointed that he missed out on some physical contact).

"Not gonna shake on it?"

"My, ah, my Goddess actually controls parts of my physical body when I'm out on the job, so I physically can't. Sorry." Kravitz put his polearm behind him, which looked like it took a great deal more strength than it should have, like he was pushing back against an invisible force. "I'll have to speak to her about this arrangement before it's final."

"She can do that?" Taako asked, suddenly reminded of every single time Kravitz was aggressively hunting him. Was that really Kravitz, or was it the Raven Queen?

"If she wishes." Kravitz looked around the cave, at Magnus and Lucretia asleep in their bedrolls. "You all have escaped the Stockade for, uh...a great number of times. So. She wanted to have an extra hand on all this."

"And if we're so _dangerous,"_ Taako said, stepping forward once more. Now that he was safe, he figured he could mess with Kravitz a little. He was cute when embarrassed. "Why'd you take my offer?"

"I just--" Kravitz coughed and composed himself before speaking. "You seem trustworthy?"

"Hm. Alright. Fair." Taako stepped away, outside of Kravitz' personal bubble. "Go on, then. Do your negotiations."

Kravitz cracked a smile, nodded, and teleported out of the cave in an instant.

* * *

After a few hours, Lup burst through the rocks without any of the flair she usually gave. No fireworks, no showmanship--just one explosion and the sound of rocks falling into water. Barry and Merle were fine, even though Barry's eyes looked a bit puffy. Lup pushed past the camp Magnus and Lucretia made and collided with her brother. She held Taako tight, didn't even complain when he said he cut them a deal with Kravitz. 

She complained a little bit when Kravitz showed back up and made eyes at Taako while reading off their new sentence.

But that didn't last very long. Kravitz brought them back to the Starblaster immediately after reading them their rights. Davenport was overjoyed to finally see them again. Less overjoyed once he realized his entire crew was under house arrest and the task of retrieving the light was all on him. The rest of the crew did what they could inside the ship to help. Mostly research, but hopefully that would be enough to get him going. When Davenport left the ship to go searching, the rest of the crew went off with business as usual.

Except, maybe a little different.

"Taako, look at this!" Lucretia scurried into the common area, the pretty veil of chains extending from both of her ears. She had them in front of her face, and even though Taako couldn't see the lower half of her face, her eyes were smiling wide. "They work!"

With a performed sigh, Taako shut his book. The echo ran through the room. "It's only been a month, Creesh, you took your starters out?"

"I was just very excited to try them out." Lucretia sat down next to him. "If it messes up my ears, that's fine, I'll get new ones in a couple months. What do you think?"

"Well, it definitely suits you." This would normally be where Taako ended the conversation and left to go do his own thing. Except, since Taako had been trapped on the ship with the rest of the crew, he talked to them more. Lup was ecstatic, but Taako didn't make a big deal of it. "If I put the piercings in at the top next year, you might be able to set the chains over your hair like a veil."

"Would you?" Lucretia kept both hands in her lap. She was calm, but with an edge of excitement in her voice that Taako hadn't heard much of. "That sounds wonderful."

"Sure, hit me up beginning of next cycle." Taako stood from the couch. "Bring some wine."

"I have some secret bottles I stashed from a few cycles back," she said, softly, as if she was afraid the rest of the crew would hear. "I've been saving them for a rainy day, but there's no reason I can't bring a couple out for celebration's sake."

_"Please_ tell me you saved some of the mango wine from the tropical world."

"I make no promises." A wicked smile crept across her face, and she didn't even try to hide it with her hand. "But now I know exactly what to bring."

"Fantastic." With that, Taako figured he was safe to exit this chat. Even if Taako was getting better at conversation, he still had a limit. He gave Lucretia a silent nod and walked out of the common area. Time to go to his room and get some non-meditative sleep before dinner. No use in keeping regular hours if he didn't have to participate in society, no sir--Taako did what he wanted when he wanted. Or when Lup dragged him to do something else. He could say no, that wasn't unheard of, but he rarely did.

His plans for sleeping mid-day were shattered by a flustered-looking Barry running alongside him down the hall.

"Taako?" he asked, in a voice that sounded like he was going to ask for a favor. _Fuck._

"I'm not working today, Barold, it's Thursday."

"What does that have to do wit--" Barry huffed, ran a couple fingers in his hair. He knew not to get distracted by one of Taako's throwaway phrases. "No, whatever. Listen. I've been thinking...it takes us a while to get the Light a lot of the time, and--we can't even get it some years. I don't think it's a good idea to just...stop researching. That's a lot of lost time."

Taako scoffed and turned away, heading for his room as fast as possible. "Listen, if you think I'm about to do _extra credit--"_

"I think we should study Kravitz," Barry blurted out.

Great. Fine. Barry chose to say the _one thing_ that got Taako to stop. _Of course_ he wanted to study Kravitz, but it wasn't like he could do all the work himself, and Lup would never agree to something like that. He took in a deep breath and turned on his heel, facing Barry. "What about him, specifically?"

"I mean. Aren't you curious? It's really unclear if he's, like, the same person every plane or not."  Barry walked over to meet Taako, eyes to the floor as he mumbled through his own thoughts. "And if he is, uh...I want to figure out how he's traveling between planes. Why he doesn't remember us." He paused, finding the right words to say this delicately. "If he's actually part of the Hunger."

"And why do you need me for this little project?" is what Taako asked, but he didn't need much of an incentive to help--he _did_   want to crack this mystery. He wanted to understand his sometimes-boyfriend more.

"Kravitz makes goo-goo eyes at you every time he's friendly." Barry chuckled softly. "If anyone can convince him to let me do experiments on his soul, it's you."

"Point taken." Taako crossed his arms, remembered the rules that Kravitz added onto their sentence. "Except, I don't think he'd be too chill with soul experiments this year. Kind of...hates necromancy."

"I wouldn't start the experiments _this year."_ Barry took out a little hand notebook from his back jeans pocket, flipping through it. Seems like he'd already done some preliminary work on this. "I figure we should...uh. Strategize? Figure out some sort of baseline?"

"What kind of baseline?" Taako took the notebook from him and flipped through it.

"Is there anything about him we can track him by year to year?" Barry muttered more than he spoke when he started spilling science out. Taako, Lup, and Davenport didn't ever have trouble hearing him, but he often had to speak up to everyone else. "Other than his race and appearance--that all seems semi-random, and based on whatever plane we land on. I just need something that's easily tracked--like, I guess, does he have any catchphrases? Something he says to you every year?"

Taako read some of Barry's hypothesis, things he wanted to test out first. It was on the right track, a lot of the stuff Barry wrote was in the same ballpark Taako had been thinking in. "He's got a magic tattoo that changes every year and is affixed to his soul."

"That's actually kind of perfect." Barry smiled like he always did when he had a mini-breakthrough. "At the very least, we should be keeping a record of that. We might find a pattern over the years."

"Hadn't thought of that..." Taako closed the notebook and handed back to Barry.

Barry looked around the corner of the hall. Taako followed, and Kravitz was just a few steps away. Making the rounds. Barry ducked back around the corner. "Do you think we could convince him to let me take a look?"

"Probably? He's really fuckin' thirsty for me this year." Taako hopped out of the corner to meet Kravitz, as friendly and casual as possible. "Hey, warden!"

"Oh--" Kravitz' entire face lit up when Taako came into his view. He hurried quicker down the hall to meet him. "Hello, Taako. What can I do for you?"

"My friend Barold here would like to see any tattoos you've got." Taako yanked Barry out into the open. He nervously waved at Kravitz, and Taako hit him squarely on the back. "He's thinking of getting one for himself and wants to see all of 'em."

"I only have two, I'll--" Kravitz' hand stopped at the edge of his robe. He made a frightened little noise and shook his head. "I should just show you the one on the arm."

"Where's the other one?" Taako asked, smile a little _too_ smug.

"That's a...private matter." He rolled up his sleeve to the shoulder in a nervous rush, hoping to dispel any further questions. "Here."

Taako hadn't seen the tattoo in a long time. Not since cycle seven. It looked so different now. Not in design--no, the white bands were the same, the fancy decorative borders didn't change. But now, there were two tiers of bands. Twenty-five dots on the original tier: Eight white, three red, two green, one yellow, seven blue, two pink and two orange. He had seen pink when he checked it cycle seven, but orange was new. New white and new red dots never showed up. The second tier had one single dot: blue.

"Kind of just floating on the skin, isn't it?" Barry asked, tracing fingers along Kravitz' arm.

"It's affixed to my soul, yes. Unfortunately, anything you get won't look like this." Kravitz pulled his sleeve down and smiled at the other two. "Was that all?"

"Yeah," Taako said, waving his hand in the air, "go make your rounds."

Kravitz nodded and continued on his path. Taako tried not to be too obvious when he watched him leave, but he assumed Barry must have noticed. Or maybe he didn't--he was furiously writing down what Kravitz just showed them. Barry waited until he was out of hearing range before speaking again.

"You should ask him out this year, he seems nice."

"Nah, Taako's taking a year off." Taako moved to his door, resting his hand on the knob. Hopefully Barry would get a clue and leave--they could talk about their studies later. "Besides, it'd be kind of fucked up to date the dude holding us in house arrest."

"That's fair." Barry watched off in the direction Kravitz left. "I, uh, I know Lup isn't too much of a fan of it, but I think the two of you are really sweet."

Taako shrugged. "It'd be a lot better if he knew who the fuck I was."

Barry thumbed through his little nerd notebook, a nervous tick. "I couldn't imagine--being in your situation. Having to start at...square one every year." It might have been Taako's imagination, but it sounded like he wasn't talking about him and Kravitz anymore.

"More like square negative one on some years," he said, which sounded a bit pessimistic. And it was. But it was also true.

"Just--" Barry let out a silent breath of air. "Taako, just remember that we, uh. We remember you every year." Barry looked like he was about to reach out to put a reassuring hand on his shoulder or something, but was too cowardly to, thankfully. "I'm not Lup, but. Tell me if you need something, alright?"

"Sure, Barry."

When Kravitz left (a week before the Hunger, like clockwork), Taako found himself less torn up about the whole ordeal. Maybe it was because it had already happened twelve times before. Maybe it was because he was excited to finally leave the ship. Maybe he was ready for this year to be over.

Maybe it was because he had friends this time.

But Taako wouldn't tell anyone that.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Whoa! This is getting posted a day early! Don't worry, this isn't a new posting schedule--I'm just going out of town tonight and it would be so much trouble to try and post this while away from my computer and my files and such. So you're getting it early! Yay! (I also will not be able to reply to comments for a while, but I'll get to them when I come back! I'll be back soon!) 
> 
> also do ya'll have any clue how difficult it is to keep track of these tattoo changes?? i've got to do MATH to keep this fic consistent!!!
> 
> the next chapter is the tiered city.......taz nights world................................................it's very good :)


	6. Cycle 17

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Kravitz is unemployed. Taako contemplates the morals of rat death. Lup's all over the place.

The crew took a few days of flyovers and assumed this whole planet was derelict and unpopulated.

The Light flew on the other side of the planet, and Lup was unable to guess where it could have landed. Without physically watching it land, there was no math in the world that would allow her to triangulate where it fell. So Davenport took the ship over to the other hemisphere and landed. Looked like they had to comb through the whole thing if they were going to save this place. They spent the first month camping out in mossed-over cities and centuries-old junkyards. It wasn't the first time they landed on a desolate planet, but it was the first time there was a civilization that had been left behind.

Taako didn't care much for these planes. He never saw Kravitz when there weren't any people. It felt a little unfair that there weren't any people here, because _last_ cycle was uninhabited, too. Guess he'd have to deal without Kravitz for two years.

Honestly, that was fine. It was better than Kravitz coming to kill his sister and his friends. Taako knew it was healthier to just take the Kravitzes as they came, and not expect anything from them. If he could get some sweet Kravitz action one year, that was just a bonus. It did impact his and Barry's ability to study the guy, but Taako was fine to chill instead of work. Barry was busy enough trying to figure out where the Light had dropped, anyway.

That wasn't Taako's job. Math was Lup and Barry's thing. Taako _could_ do math, but.

He, uh.

He hadn't told them that he stopped learning math.

But he didn't need to do math to go scrapping. He and Lup scrapped together a bunch of times, but he figured it'd be fine to do a couple of solo trips. They mostly played around with guns they found on the ground, but he was here purely for business. Taako wasn't sure what exactly he was looking for, but it never hurt to have spare parts around. Merle would call him a hoarder if he saw the amount of junk Taako smashed into his bag.

Not like Taako was going to listen to _Merle_ , anyway.

It was also relaxing, in a fucked-up sort of way, looking through the trash of people that had been dead for thousands of years. All food and organic items dissolved and decomposed long ago, but metals and plastics stayed. He saw the skeleton of some bird with a plastic soda ring around it. Reminded him of old environmental documentaries. There were more guns laying around. If Lup were here, she'd play around with them again. He found a tattered DVD box set of Fantasy How I Met Your Mother.

Not Taako's first choice, or his hundredth choice, but it would have to do.

It'd been a while since they landed on a planet with television. Somehow, they were able to find DVDs that fit into the player Magnus snuck on the ship from their homeworld. And some of them were even the same programs from their homeworld, just with minor tweaks. What were the chances of that? Taako had no clue. He wasn't very good at statistics. Again, math wasn't really his _thing,_ and he didn't even know how statistics worked in this plane. Everyone did math differently.

Nothing else caught his eye on this specific scrapping trip. He already had a bunch of mechanic parts stashed away, and if he collected any more of those he really _would_ be a hoarder. With a bag full of fantasy sitcoms and legs full of exhaustion, Taako was ready to get back to camp.

And then, he heard the faint sound of a keytar.

Not just the sound of some scrap metal falling onto a keytar. The sound of somebody _playing_  a keytar.

Taako ran to the source of the sound as fast as he could. He climbed over piles of garbage and machinery. The keytar sounded very far away, and Taako needed to get there before the sound stopped. A thousand thoughts rushed through Taako's head as he ran. If there was a person over there, should he just take notes and then tell the crew? Should he try to speak to them? What if this wasn't a person--what if it was a bunch of ants that gained a hivemind and formed a big hand to play the keytar?

No, that was dumb. It was probably just a person.

And, as Taako approached the sound, he started wondering if it would be a specific person.

Usually, Kravitz didn't show up in empty years. Barry and Taako thought that he was absent because there weren't any souls to reap, and there was no reason for the Raven Queen to have servants. Taako wasn't a _fan_ of that hypothesis, since that would be a big clue to the fact that Kravitz wasn't the same person whenever they met. But Barry said that was the only explanation he could think of. Still, they had no evidence to back that up.

But if Taako could find him here--in a planet that didn't have living souls--that meant that theory could be thrown right out the window. And that made the chances of Kravitz being the same person a little higher.

How much higher? Taako didn't have any clue.

Again, he wasn't a mathematician.

He hauled his ass up a large mound of garbage. The keytar's twanging notes were just on the other side. Just as he reached the top of the mound, Taako felt his foot catch behind him. In his haste, he pulled too hard. The force sent his body flying down the other side of the mound, landing ass over head at the base of the mound.

Kravitz knelt about ten feet where Taako's chin landed on the ground, hunkered over the keytar. Not holding it in his arms, just plucking notes as it sat on the ground. Completely ambiguous in race this year. Still just as pretty. He wore simpler clothes than usual, and they looked modern. He punched notes into the keytar finger by finger, not using a correct one or two handed method of play. Once he heard Taako's shrieks and his fall, he turned around.

His finger stalled on E sharp as he stared, the sound echoing through the junkyard.

Before Taako could let out a joke or greeting or anything, Kravitz ran forward. He scooped Taako off of the ground and hugged him tight.

Taako's entire heart swelled as he scrambled to wrap his arms around Kravitz. This was the first time Kravitz _touched_ him in years. Taako hadn't dated him seriously since year seven. He wished he went for it in year fourteen, but he was taking some time for himself. He should have taken it while he had the chance. Kravitz became more and more aggressive over the years. Made sense, since Taako and the rest of the crew gained more deaths every year and necromancy was normally scorned. He wasn't happy about this arrangement--dude really needed some positive Kravitz time.

He wasn't expecting to get any this year.

But already, Kravitz had him in his arms and Taako wondered, briefly, if he remembered him. This wasn't a greeting for a stranger. This wasn't a greeting for an enemy. Taako shuddered in his arms, buried his head into the crook of his neck, was on the very edge of spilling out declarations of love and apologies and then--

"I'm so sorry!" Kravitz pulled away and looked at him like he was a stranger. Any thought that Taako had that he might have _remembered_ him flew out the window. "That was too--that was--I should have asked before just running up and _touching_ you, that's creepy." He smiled, although there was nothing in his eyes that made Taako believe that Kravitz was happy to see _him,_ specifically _._ He was overjoyed, sure, but Taako had a feeling that he could be swapped with any member of the crew and Kravitz would be just as happy. "Not a very good way to greet someone."

"It's cool." Taako dropped his arms and scoot backwards a couple inches. He tried not to sound too disappointed in his voice. "If I was the last dude on the planet, I'd be pretty excited too."

"I just haven't seen a living soul in _so long!_   In, at least--" Kravitz' face turned neutral for a few moments, like he short-circuited. When he came back, he spoke slower. "Well, at least a year. But it feels much longer than that. I--wh--" Kravitz watched him again, more curious this time. "Where did you come from?"

"The sky." Taako pointed to the air. "A ship in the sky."

"Fascinating." Kravitz leaned up close to him, inches away. No regards for personal space. "You're not from here, I--oh, fuck, this is going to sound even creepier, but I'm kind of the Grim Reaper? A little bit? I can see your soul, I can tell you're not from this plane."

"Well, uh, that...that would definitely be a correct assumption." Taako kept his hands to himself, blinking a few times. Surprised that Kravitz was _this_ friendly. "You're not going to take me away for necromancy crimes, are you?"

"Necromancy crimes?" Kravitz shook his head, slowly. "No, no, I--I would never. I can't do that, not _physically,_ I'm--" His eyes met the ground, and all the excitement left his eyes. "Well, you see, I'm sort of...out of a job."

Now _that_ was interesting. Not something Taako had run into before. "Why's that?"

"All of the residents of this plane have planted their souls into mechanical beings," he said, looking off into the distance, his voice hollow and disappointed. "Nobody dies anymore."

"Wait, you're telling me there are _robots_ here?" Taako's ears perked up. "We haven't seen any _robots."_

_"We?"_ Kravitz also lit up, hopeful. "There are more of you?"

"Yeah." Taako tapped the ground, thinking through how he wanted to take this. He'd like to spend some time with this extremely friendly Kravitz, but he also wanted to see these robots. "How about this: I introduce you to the rest of my crew, where all the people are, and you take us to where the robots are. How's that sound?"

"I would like that." Kravitz stood up and extended a hand for Taako. "You have no idea how unnerving it is to be the only person with a body around here."

Taako took his hand. It was cold, like usual. He didn't ask Taako to let go, either, so he just. Kept holding on. Some of Taako's body heat radiated into Kravitz' skin. Kravitz helped Taako to his feet, kicked the keytar back into the trash pile, and the two of them headed back for camp.

Kravitz never did let go of his hand.

* * *

Everyone was surprised when Taako brought Kravitz back. 

Of course, he didn't remember anyone, and so they all had to do their best to pretend like they were meeting for the first time. Amateurs. If they thought _that_ was difficult, they should try pretending like they weren't madly in love with Kravitz upon first contact every year.

_That_ was self-restraint. Taako should get some kind of award for that.

Since he was out of a job, Davenport offered him a place on the ship as long as he helped find the Light. He gave a pointed look at Taako as he offered it, and Taako knew that he'd have to do something to thank the captain later. They explained their situation to Kravitz so he could help out (and, thankfully, the crew left out all details about previous Kravitzes out of their explanations--that was Taako's job to tell him). Kravitz already had a few ideas where they might find the Light, and all of them were in the tiered capital city.

Lup didn't immediately chase him off. She knew Taako had a rough decade. She'd been there through his venting, his dangerous flirting, all of the times Kravitz took him to the Stockade using their relationship as a lure. This year's Kravitz was the friendliest they had seen in a long time. Lup wasn't an idiot. She could see the way Taako looked at Kravitz (a little bit too hopeful, a little sad) and how Kravitz looked at him (curious, fascinated, infatuated). From the hours when Kravitz mentioned the capital city to their travels to it, Lup had many chances to tell Kravitz to fuck off and not touch her brother. She never did. Maybe this was as close to a blessing from Lup as he was going to get.

So he went for it.

According to Kravitz, they had about an hour's worth of flying before they reached the city. Once he gave the coordinates to Davenport, he was free to explore the ship. He spent a lot of time chatting with the rest of the crew at first, endlessly curious. Barry managed to convince Kravitz to let him study him later. But after a few minutes, the rest of the crew figured that Taako wanted to speak to him alone. So Lucretia told Kravitz to go check out the bond engine. _It's so advanced. A real sleek piece of technology. You'll love it._

She winked at Taako as she said that.

Fuck, now he owed Davenport _and_ Lucretia favors.

When Kravitz left the room, Taako waited five minutes before following him. The way to the engine wasn't very far. Just a short walk to the back of the ship. He found Kravitz at the bond engine, hands on the railing, his face lit in silver light. It was clear he had no idea how the hell it ran, but it _was_ a sight to see. That wasn't just a lie to get him away from the crew.

The engine turned a little faster when Taako walked in.

"Hey," he said, trying for casual and ended up strangled and awkward.

"Oh--" Kravitz turned around, surprised. For a flash of a second, his eyes nervously drifted around Taako. If he was going to check him out, he should be more confident about it. "You followed me to--um--you're Taako, aren't you?"

"Yeah, this is Taako." He leaned his back up against the railing and winked at Kravitz. "You can tell me apart from Lup 'cause I'm prettier."

"You definitely are," he said, voice shaking. Hands gripped to the railing.

"Good answer." Taako tipped his head to the side, grinning wide. "You're quite the sight, too, huh?"

Something clicked in Kravitz' head and a hopeful little smile crawled on his face. "You've been flirting with me," he said, and relaxed just a bit. Not fun for flustering him, but Taako liked the sight of a comfortable Kravitz better than one strung up on nerves. 

"Uh--" Taako laughed and blew out a breath. He ran his thumb along the brim of his hat. Great. Now _he_ was the nervous one. "I mean, kind of takes some of the magic out of it when you say it out loud."

"I just want to make sure I'm not overstepping any boundaries." Kravitz took his hands off the railing, turning his body to Taako's to speak to him properly. "And I would rather go on a date, if you'd like to continue flirting with me."

"We can _definitely_ make that happen." Taako looked out past the bond engine to the rapidly shifting ground below. "Let's, uh, let's get to the city and see what we find there, and then we'll set a date. How's that sound?"

"Wonderful." Kravitz smiled. He turned away from the engine and walked out, ready to explore the rest of the ship.

The bond engine turned a little slower.

* * *

"You made it!" Kravitz ran over to Taako as soon as he came into view. He didn't touch him, but he smiled all the way to his ears. They agreed to meet up on the outskirts of the tiered city. Didn't want to bump into the rest of the crew on their date. Not that this was secret at all--Taako told Lup where he was going to be, in case Kravitz turned on him mid-date and sent him to the Stockade.

But with the look on his face, Taako wasn't expecting things to go sour here.

"Wouldn't miss out on this, handsome." Taako smiled up at him, a vague alarm at the back of his head warning him not to get too friendly too fast. "Honestly, it's nice to see someone with _skin_ here, y'know?"

"I do know. I know that feeling too well." Kravitz held out a bent arm, offering it to Taako. "Is there anything you wanted to do?"

"Dunno, just wanted to get out of the lab for a while." Taako took the arm. Maybe the action made him look more eager, but he couldn't care less at this point. Kravitz was nice and cute and Taako was going to enjoy this date with him. "You got any...any cool places to hang out at?"

"I do, actually."

"Show me, then."

Kravitz nodded and the two walked along the outskirts of the city for a couple miles. Normally, Taako would be opposed to so much walking, but it was also a big excuse to have an extended conversation with Kravitz. Everything about his personality was the same, so Taako didn't run into any surprises. Still, he liked hearing the tone of Kravitz' voice, the flustered responses he gave to Taako's teasing, the shy way he'd try to flirt back. If the date ended before they finished their walk, it still would have been perfect. But, no, Kravitz had a specific destination in mind, and after a bit of walking, he turned to walk through an iron gate. They passed by a dirt road carved out from natural foot traffic in the woods. Kravitz stopped walking once they got a couple yards away from the gate.

"The effect is better if you go in blind," he said, still leading Taako by the arm. "I won't force you to cover your eyes, but you can if you want to."

"Hm, kinky." Taako covered both his eyes with one arm, holding onto Kravitz as a guide.

Kravitz sputtered. "N--not _kinky,"_ he said, holding back a giggle. "Just trust me."

And he did trust him. He wished Kravitz would remember him so that he'd know how important that was.

Kravitz led him about another quarter of a mile down this dirt road. He felt leaves crinkle under his feet, he heard a soft _"whoops,"_ from Kravitz, and then a couple curses. "Keep your arm over your eyes--I'm going to lift you over a wall."

Taako barely had time to squeak out an affirmative before Kravitz hoisted him up a brick half-wall. Taako grabbed the top, blindly felt his way to the other side, and waited. Kravitz hopped over and helped him down the other side.

"That's good, wonderful, let's..." Kravitz held onto him and kept walking, slower now. "Almost there. Just need to find the best place..."

"Really hope we're not on the edge of a volcano or somethin'," Taako said.

"We're not, I promise you. You're not in danger, I wouldn't do that." After a minute of shuffling, Kravitz tapped his arm. "You can look now."

Taako took his arm off of his eyes and was immediately blinded again--this time by light. It took a minute of eye rubbing and cursing for his eyes to adjust to it (elf eyes worked better in the dark), but once he could see where Kravitz brought him, he understood the need to be blinded.

The two stood in a graveyard, all marble benches and tombstones. That's not what Taako had his eyes on. All over the graveyard, overrun a thousand times over, were little flowers. Baby blue and bioluminescent with a vaguely green light. The light bounced off the marble and bathed the whole graveyard in blue-green light. The flowers grouped together fiercely on top of the graves, right in front of each tombstone. Kravitz watched for his reaction, hesitant and worried. The light flickered off his skin, caught the perfect angles in his face.

"Wow," was all Taako could say.

"You like it?"

"Fucking _amazing."_ Taako stepped forward, looking all around the graveyard in awe. "Didn't think this place would have any cool plants con--considering everyone's dead."

"Oh." Kravitz' expression immediately sank to something horrified. "Oh, _shit."_

"What?" Taako walked back over to him, worried. "You good?"

"Sorry, I just realized it's really fucked up to take you to a graveyard for a date. For a _first date."_   Kravitz sat down on one of the marble benches, thoroughly embarrassed. "But these flowers only grow on grounds where the dead lay."

"You're good, it's not _that_ creepy." Taako looked around, laughed, and then sat down next to Kravitz. A giant tombstone of some rich idiot towered behind them. "Okay, it's kind of creepy."

"It's really creepy," he said, hands in his face. "I had you come in here _blind."_

"Really creepy." Taako laughed, and Kravitz joined in. Fuck, it had been too long since he heard Kravitz laughing. The awkward moment dissolved like sugar in water, Kravitz calm once again. Taako elbowed him, trying to take the mood back to a fun place. "Flowers're pretty, though."

"Not as pretty as you are." His eyes widened as soon as he realized what he just said. Kravitz scooted away, apologetic, and laid his hand on the marble between him and Taako. "I'm sorry, I should tone it down."

"You're fine." Taako decided that a slow approach was bullshit. He slipped his hand on top of Kravitz'. "Haven't heard that one in a while."

Kravitz smiled, turned his hand over to lace his fingers through Taako's. "That's a shame. You deserve to hear it all the time."

"Only if it's comin' out of you." Taako grinned up at him, his side touching Kravitz. Getting as close as social convention would allow at this point.

"I would gladly...continue. To say things like that." Kravitz looked straight up ahead, his hand squeezing Taako's tightly. "Just to you," he said, quietly, as if he were afraid Taako would reject the offer.

Taako reached over and held a hand on Kravitz' cheek, silently asking him to look at him. "I'd like that."

"Wow. Yeah, that's. That's good to hear." Kravitz smiled wide, and he swayed in his seat a few times, unsure if he should come closer or allow Taako some space. Taako laughed again and closed the distance for him, hugging him on the bench. Kravitz seemed happy with that and held his arms around Taako. "You'll, um, you'll have to excuse me, it's--it's been a while. For me."

"It's fine. Been a while for me, too." Ten years. Ten years since he had an actual relationship with Kravitz. Taako itched to make up for lost time. "You know what you're doing, though, right?"

"Of course, though I may be a bit out of practice."

"We can catch each other up." Taako leaned forward, his nose almost touching Kravitz'. "How's that sound?"

"Wonderful." Kravitz held a hand at the back of Taako's head, soft, questioning. "Mind if we start now? I'll catch up quicker if we do."

"Fuck, yes," he said, although the second half of it was lost to a mumble against lips. Kravitz was always an enthusiastic kisser before, but something felt more urgent to it this time. By the time Taako noticed, Kravitz had settled down. Took it slower. Calmer. Taako tilted his head and pressed up more forcefully, hoping to bring that sense of urgency back, but Kravitz pulled away. Laid a hand on Taako's chest.

"You're--you're really something," he said, out of breath, "how did you do that?"

Taako's brows scrunched up. That wasn't the first time Kravitz had asked that after a kiss, but it _was_ the first time Taako felt right enough in his own head to actually ask what he meant. "Do what?"

"I thought I--it just kind of felt like--" Kravitz tapped his fingers on the sides of Taako's arms, absentmindedly fidgeting. "When my Queen used to give orders, she pulled on the edges of my soul a little bit. It felt like that."

"Really?" Taako hummed, tried to come up with an answer. "Let me try again, see if it does it a second time."

"If that's just an excuse to kiss me again, I'm all for it." Kravitz laughed and planted another kiss to his lips.

They stayed there for a few minutes, content to stay in the moment. Taako was unsure if Kravitz was a good kisser or if Taako was just super into him emotionally. He guessed it didn't really matter, as long as they had fun.

Taako pulled away, but not very far--their lips were barely a hair's width apart. "Did it happen that time?"

"No." Kravitz held him by the waist. Taako could feel his lips smile against his. "But I still liked it."

"We don't have to stop now," Taako said, arms tightening around Kravitz' neck.

"You're right." A wild look formed in Kravitz' eyes before he scooped Taako forward, kissing him with a bit more passion than before. Taako laughed in the kiss and let himself enjoy his time with Kravitz.

* * *

Taako wandered back to the ship with shaky limbs and a full heart after another date.

Kravitz had some kind of experiment appointment with Barry (why Kravitz actually agreed to go along with that, Taako was unsure), so Taako had some time to himself. Time that he was absolutely going to use to pine and fantasize. It'd really been too long since he was with Kravitz. He should have taken the chance in cycle fourteen. Or, maybe not--it _was_ nice to have that year to himself.

But it was _also_ nice to be kissed and touched and _together_ with Kravitz.

The rest of the crew were out finding clues to where the Light was. Kravitz gave them a few leads, but it took time to investigate each one. Taako expected to come back to an empty ship, but saw his sister boiling something on the stove through the kitchen window. That's right--her and Barry were out investigating that morning. She was free now, too, since Barry and Kravitz were off doing weirdo experiments.

Taako pushed through the kitchen door and looked at what Lup was making.

Just boiling water. Nothing else. Maybe she was just getting things set up and ready to make dinner.

"There you are," he said, looking into the fridge. If she was going to make something, he might as well chip in. But the fridge was empty--Taako looked to the side and realized she set _everything_ out of the fridge, even threw out some old rotten things. He closed the fridge. "Uh. Guess I should tell you, uh, Krav alert, I'm dating him this year."

"Uh-huh." She didn't even look at him as he walked in. Barely registered him.

"Don't murder him if you see him on board." Taako opened the cupboards and found that everything was rearranged and reorganized inside.

Lup hummed. "Yeah."

Taako squinted at her, trying to get a good read on what the fuck was wrong with his sister. "Also we made out in a graveyard."

"Cool," she said, and dumped half of the pot into the sink. Then, she shook some baking soda in after it, and poured out some vinegar all over the whole thing. And then dumped the rest of the boiling pot down the drain. _Oh._ She wasn't cooking--she was doing a deep-clean.

Lup only mustered up the energy to clean when she was angry or frustrated. Looked like this was going to be _an event._

Usually, Taako wasn't one to just...ask things. That required a lot of work, and it also opened him up for people to ask _him_ what was wrong--no thank you. Much easier to wait until they said what was on their mind first, or to pester them until Taako became a bigger problem than their other thing. But. This was his sister, and his approach to fixing whatever the fuck was her problem was different. He knew he couldn't just throw bullshit at Lup and expect her to take that. She was just as stubborn as he was. This needed an interrogation, as much as Taako hated being direct.

He didn't mind it since it was Lup, but it still wasn't his favorite.

"Alright-y." Taako pulled up a chair and sat on it backwards, like he was a youth pastor telling kids not to do drugs. "What's got you thinking so much?"

Only now did Lup look like she noticed Taako was the one that walked in. He could see raw panic in her eyes for just a split second, and then it was replaced with a painfully forced smile. She stuck her tongue out at him and laughed, high and fake. "I wasn't thinking _that_ much."

"I said that Kravitz and I are dating and he kissed me in a graveyard."

"You did _wha--"_   Lup coughed, and then calmed herself down. Took in a few breaths. Brought herself back to a neutral position. "Okay. Fine. Maybe I wasn't paying attention."

"Well, do I get to hear about what you're all frazzled about?" He rested his chin on the back of the chair, whining. "You _never_ volunteer to clean the kitchen."

"Yeah, I'll spill, but--" Lup looked around, like she was afraid she could be caught at any moment. "Can we talk in your room?"

"That bad?" He was surprised it was that easy. Lup was too fucking open sometimes. Or maybe too trusting? Taako plucked a bottle of wine off of the counter (still slightly chilled--Lup must have emptied the fridge out moments earlier) and walked towards his room. "Sure, c'mon."

Lup followed behind, and then looked to the fridge. "Wait. I need to--"

Taako snapped his fingers, not even looking behind him. "I preserved everything with magic. Leave it." No need for her to get distracted. She'd just try to wriggle out of the conversation if he gave her an out. He walked into his room, waited for Lup to sit down on the bed before closing the door. Taako uncorked the bottle of wine with magic.

"So." Taako crashed next to her in the bed and handed the bottle over. "What's wrong?"

"Nothing's _wrong."_ Lup took the bottle and drank straight from it. No use in getting glasses. Identical twins, identical spit. She slammed the bottle back in Taako's hands and flopped face-down on the bed, exhausted. "Just...had a realization."

"Care to go on?" Taako took a swig, too. This felt like it would go on for a while.

"You'll laugh." She pulled Taako's pillow down to her level and smashed her face into it.

Taako pat her on the back a few times, without the meat of his hand. Just the fingers. It would look really fucking dismissive if Lup didn't come to expect that from him after so many years. "If it's really eating you up this much, I won't laugh."

Lup poked her head out of the pillow. "You said that when I told you I wanted to be a clown when I grew up." Her face scrunched up in disgust. "And then you laughed."

"Yeah, well, that's because that was so fucking stupid." Taako did let out a few chuckles from that. It was _still_ one of the worst things Lup had ever said (including the time she told him that vore sounded fun _"hypothetically")_. "And that was when we were, like, _seven._   I mean it this time. What's up?"

She stayed quiet for a little longer. Fair enough. Whatever was wrong, it looked like it took up a lot of her thinking capacity. Taako did the hard part already. Now he just had to sit back and wait for Lup to spill. And with the way she was chugging the wine, that wouldn't take so long. She took a few more sips, thinking through everything. She opened and closed her mouth a few times, unsure of how to phrase it. Eventually, she squeaked out a very quiet confession.

"I like Barry," she said, so quiet that Taako had to strain to hear it.

"Barry _Bluejeans?"_   His eyes threatened to pop out of his sockets. Lup was still red-faced with her face in the pillow, and hadn't retracted her statement with a, "gotcha!" or anything. She looked serious. Still, Taako found it hard to believe. Sure, she usually gravitated towards nerds, but not _quiet_ nerds. She was always the one with the loud grad students that drunkenly made cagefighting robots in the recreation center. Barry holed himself up in the lab and stumbled over every third word out of his mouth. "Barry, as in, our science officer? The one on our ship?"

"Yes, _you ass,_ our Barry." Lup let out a few shaking breaths, so wound up by this that Taako couldn't help but burst into laughter. She whipped her head towards him and frowned. "What the fuck? It took you _two seconds_ to start laughing!"

"C'mon, I just--it's not because it's _funny--"_ Taako sputtered and doubled over on the wine bottle. He gave himself a moment or two to calm down. Lup wouldn't tell him anything if he kept laughing. "Okay, actually, scratch that. It's fucking hilarious that you're thirsting over the one guy on the ship that slams down chocolate milk before the end of the year."

She snatched the bottle from him and spoke against the neck of it. "It's because he can't usually drink it, his body reforms before it gives him gas." Lup tried to drink from it, but laying down wasn't conducive to drinking, so she sat herself upright, clutching the pillow.

"When'd all _this--"_ Taako gestured to the whole image of Lup embarrassed and immobilized on his bed. Sure, she'd had intense crushes before--Lup would probably pine for someone for fifty years if left to her own devices--but this looked a bit different. Taako couldn't put his finger on why, but it was. "Happen?"

"Today. He was trying to fix one of the little robots and they kept zapping him," she said, pulling at the label on the bottle and smashing her toes together. She covered her face with the pillow and whined. "It was cute and he was cute and I'm _dying."_

"Holy shit, you _do_ like him."

"I just--" Lup tipped the bottle up to get more, but thought better of it and rested it in between her legs. "You know. We're friends. You spend enough time with a person and things happen."

_"THINGS?"_ Taako, slightly more panicked than he probably should have been, scooted himself closer to Lup with his best interrogation face. "Hold on, back the fuck up, what _things_ have happened?"

"Oh, uh--" Lup blinked, surprised, like Taako had just snapped her out of a thought whirlpool. "Nothing happened. I just." She looked down into the space between her and Taako, avoiding eye contact. "I've been thinking about it."

Taako watched his sister, usually a force that refused to stop, reduced to a shy little puddle on his bed over a boy. This clearly wasn't new--nobody gets that flustered overnight--but it seemed like it was the first time she acknowledged it. If Taako was being honest with himself, Barry wasn't the worst person in the world Lup could have fallen for. Wasn't even the worst person on the ship. The two were good friends, and Taako got along with him alright, and there was not even a little bit of a chance that Barry would do something to harm her (at least, on purpose). And here Lup was, bearing out her heart to Taako, overwhelmed with her new feelings.

For a moment and a half, Taako had the ugliest thought in his life.

Taako wasn't a morally sound person. He wasn't a monster either, but he was overly distant and clinical when it came to certain things. Lup was the overemphatic twin. Taako took a few steps back. So, often, he'd say something and she'd give him _a look_ and he'd shrug, knowing that was probably a shitty thing to say. He wouldn't say it again. At least not in front of her. So he didn't say it out loud, but he said lots of shitty things inside his head, only a few of them creeping out through the years. He'd look at someone and cast judgment on them instantly, he'd watch someone die and have to hold back a laugh, he didn't feel bad about stealing or lying or tax fraud. Again, he wasn't evil--there _was_ a line that was too far, even for Taako--but his line was a lot farther out than most people's.

Hands-down, this was still the single worst thought that Taako ever had:

He could just...sabotage this whole thing.

Cut it down before Lup and Barry even had the chance to try.

Because if Lup was going to try to chase Kravitz off at every opportunity, why shouldn't he chase off _her_ crush? Why should he listen to her semi-tipsy ramblings of Barry? It wouldn't even be that _difficult_ to take this whole thing down. Lup trusted him with every fold in her brain, with every thought in her mind, with every beat of her heart. This crush was just beginning, Taako wouldn't even have to lie very much to get her out of it. It would be _easy._

But then Taako saw the way Lup was hunched over the pillow and bottle, face red with wine and embarrassment, and he softened up a little. That's right. Lup _did_ trust him, not because they were twins (although that was a big part of it), but because she knew he wouldn't do something so terrible to her. The fact that she was _here,_ bearing her heart out, was special. If Taako was anyone else, she'd be laughing or waving off the problem entirely. But. He wasn't just anyone. And even though she'd been pissing him off lately, he'd be a shitty brother if he used something this important as leverage in some petty boy fight.

He couldn't take this away from Lup. He couldn't bear to see her so unhappy.

And then the ugly moment passed, and Taako would regret thinking of the idea for the rest of his life.

Guess that meant he had to help her to make up for it.

"What're you going to do about it?" he asked, leaning forward, genuinely curious. If he was going to do this, he was going to do it right.

"Nothing?" Lup handed the bottle back over, done with it, and flopped back down on the bed. "He's one of my best friends, I can't put that in jeopardy."

"Still think you should go for it."

"Easy for you to say," she snapped. Instantly, regret colored her face. "Sorry."

"It's cool, I guess..." That's what he got for doing a good thing? Whatever. If she didn't need help, Taako was just going to chill. He drank what was left of the bottle and put it on the floor beside the bed. "Fine. Do nothing. Don't say I didn't try to help."

Lup whined. "I just wanted to vent, I don't need _advice."_

"Sure." Taako fell on the bed, landing with a couple of his limbs crashing into Lup's. The beds on the ship were so _small--_ but, whatever, the twins had slept in smaller areas. "I'm going to nap."

"Okay." She closed her eyes. "I'm meditating."

"You'll think too hard if you do that," he said.

"Maybe I _need_ to thi--" she started, but Taako kicked her in the chin. Very light. _"OW,_ okay, _okay,_ you're a _fucking menace."_

"It's what I'm here for." Taako turned around, giving her a little space, and closed his eyes. It took a few minutes, but he felt Lup's back pressed up against his, and both of them slept.

* * *

They all wore black for the funeral and crowded around the body. Lup and Magnus were at the front, with the rest hanging around at the edges. Taako picked at a scab on his arm, bored. This wasn't strictly _necessary,_ but Lup and Magnus were so heartbroken that he couldn't say no to joining in.

"He's only got one shot, we should find a good way to get rid of his body," Lup said.

Everyone thought for a moment, until Barry spoke up. "Burial at sea?"

"We've done that too many times now." Magnus sniffled and slipped into the voice he used exclusively when baby-talking to dogs. "Even though I like the image of putting him in a little boat."

"What's going on?" Davenport walked into the room, uninformed of the whole situation, wearing his official red jacket. "Did Merle die?" he asked, like it was more of an inconvenience than a tragedy.

The black-clad crew all cried out a, "no!" Barry clutched Merle to his side, afraid he was going to die right on the spot.

"I'm right here." Merle crossed his arms. Davenport breathed a sigh of relief.

Davenport did a quick headcount, fingers bouncing from Lup to Magnus to Merle to Barry to Taako to-- "Where's Lucretia?"

"Off with Kravitz," Lup said, still a little misty-eyed.

The captain covered his mouth, horrified.

"Not _dead,"_   Taako clarified, waving his hand. "They went out to explore."

"Then who was it?" Davenport walked closer to the whole scene and inspected the body everyone crowded around. A small rat in a shoebox, covered in various baubles and fabric scraps the crew threw in during the funeral.

"It's Templeton," Magnus said, two sniffles away from crying his eyes out.

"The rat?" Davenport's voice came out a lot angrier than anyone expected it to. "You're getting this worked up over a _rat?"_

"It's the only thing we've been able to keep alive on the ship," Lup said. Fuck, she looked just as devastated as Magnus. Taako didn't get that. _It was just a rat._   "I think we need to send him off right."

Before Davenport could answer, the door outside the Starblaster opened, Lucretia and Kravitz coming in. They both held mesh bags full of books--Lucretia wanted to preserve some books from old libraries. "What's going on here?"

Merle gestured towards the shoebox. "Funeral for Maggie's rat."

"He died?" Lucretia dropped her bags at the door and hurried off to her room. "Let me go change."

"Lucretia, don't, it's just a--" Her door slammed before Davenport could stop her. He stood there, frowning in the hall, and then twirled on his feet to address the crew again. _"Damn it,_ this isn't what we should be wasting resources on!"

"Easy for you to say." Lup scowled at him. "Have a heart."

"I know we've been getting lax about regulations lately, but I'm still your captain." Davenport pinned his shoulders back, making himself look bigger. "We shouldn't be wasting our time on something like this when we still haven't found the Light."

"Sure, fine--listen, I don't give a shit if you think this is stupid. The point is that _Magnus_ is hurting." Lup gestured to Magnus, stepping forward towards Davenport. "One of your crewmembers is _down_ and _unfit for service."_

"I know we have a different relationship than when we first started out, but that doesn't give you authority to tell me how to handle the crew, Lup."

"I'm not _telling_ you how to do anything, I'm just making a suggestion!"

The two bickered over the rest of the crew for a few minutes. Everyone was just a _little_ too afraid to squeeze into the conversation, hoping it wouldn't escalate any farther than it already had. They all went to looking at their shoes, or checking their nails--anything to get their eyes off of the fight in front of them.

Kravitz froze up, then shuffled over to Taako and whispered, "do you think I should say something?"

"Only if you want," he whispered back, "don't think it's a good idea to get in the middle of this, though."

"I meant to Magnus." Kravitz watched Magnus, a deeply worried look on his face. "I don't know how comforting it would be for me to speak to him, but..."

"Knock yourself out." Taako crossed his arms, indifferent. "None of us are afraid of death anymore."

"Except this one is permanent." Kravitz held his hand on Taako's shoulder, squeezing it lightly. "He may need a little more comfort, dear."

Taako clamped down on the pet name, trying his best not to focus too hard on that. This was a _funeral,_ Taako wasn't so tacky to ruin the mood. He could read the room. At least, he could read it better than Davenport--he still pinched the bridge of his nose like he thought this whole thing was silly.

And it was. But Magnus needed time to mourn.

The funeral went on, even through Davenport's disapproval. Magnus openly wept for most of it, and Lup had a tough time keeping it together too--although Taako couldn't tell if she was sad about the rat itself or if she was more sad at the whole concept of the situation.

"Ashes to ashes," Merle said, his hand in the air. Magnus asked him to say a few words--he wanted Templeton to go to "rat heaven," and needed a cleric to make sure he would. "Dust to dust--"

Lucretia cracked open a journal, her pen floating right above the page. Ready to write. "Is that part of a regular Pannite funeral?"

"No, I'm making shit up." Merle laughed, shutting his book. "Do I look like I remember how to conduct a funeral? A real one?"

"I think for Pan, you're supposed to say something about how the body's going back to nature," Kravitz said, "but that's not my field."

"Oh, yeah, there's something about _let our loved ones lay in the flowers our children give to their spouses_ or whatever." He waved his hand, masking the fact that he just recited one of the Pan scriptures verbatim, even though he _just_ said he forgot all of them.

"You know, Merle, that gives me an idea." Kravitz looked towards the little shoebox with the dead rat inside. "You're still figuring out what to do with the corpse?"

"Yeah," Magnus said, nose scrunching up over the word _corpse._

"There are some flowers, out on the edge of town--they only grow on corpses. We could get some of the flowers from the graveyard to grow over top of him." Kravitz stepped forward to Magnus, calming him. "That way, Templeton could liven up your ship even in his absence."

"I think that's perfect." Magus wiped away the batch of tears he was on and sniffled hard. "Where are these flowers?"

"Um. Actually, can I go do it?" Kravitz held his hands together at his front, shy and worried. "I haven't done my job in so long, I--um. You know." He looked at the ground. "It'd be nice to be useful," he said, so quiet that only Taako could hear him.

"Here." Magnus smiled through his blotched-up face, washed with tears, and set the shoebox in Kravitz' hands. "Rat. Box." He looked over towards Merle's gardening tools and picked out a spade and a little rectangular pot. "Pot. Spade. That all you need?"

Kravitz shuffled his arms around, balancing everything in his arms. "Yes, thank you." The spade dropped to the ground with a _twang._

Taako rolled his eyes and picked up the spade, shoving it in his bag. "Ugh, I'm going too. C'mon, hand over the box." Taako held his arms out and Kravitz had to tilt his whole body to drop the pot in his arms.

"You're just going so you can make out with him in the graveyard," Merle said, disgusted.

Taako rolled his eyes and growled out an, "am not!" just as Kravitz muttered, "who told him about that?"

Lup and Lucretia looked at each other and giggled. Great. Taako was going to have to murder the both of them.

"Maybe they need a chaperone," Lucretia teased.

"We'll be fine." Kravitz watched the crew with a cocky smile. "I'm not going to do anything to him during this mission, I'm not as tacky as Taako."

Taako pressed a hand to his own chest in offense. "You think I'm tacky?"

"Yes. Absolutely," Kravitz said, and a few of the crew members burst out laughing at that.

With a few more tears from Magnus, the two headed towards their long walk to the graveyard. Kravitz stayed silent for most of it, walking alongside Taako. He wasn't usually this quiet, not since they got together, but today had been tough. Kravitz clutched the dead rat box like his life (death?) depended on it.

They walked about a half mile before Kravitz spoke up. "Is everything going to be alright in there?"

"It'll be fine." Taako cradled the pot under his arm and waved his hand around. "We've, uh, we've all been snipping at each other the past couple'a years. Getting a little stir crazy."

Kravitz nodded. He didn't speak again for another few yards. "I'm surprised you didn't jump up to Lup's side."

"I mean, that would require me to--to have _been_ on her side in the first place." Taako rubbed his thumb along the rim of the pot, eyes forward. "I'd rather just, stay fuckin' silent while she goes off instead of fighting her."

"You didn't like the funeral?" Kravitz looked a little too heartbroken at that. Did he _enjoy_ the funeral?

"Oh, no, it was fine. I just didn't _get it."_

Kravitz watched him, confused. "What's there not to get?"

"It's just a rat." Taako tapped his fingers on the edge of the pot, letting the taps echo out the top. "Didn't even live for that long. Like, I fucking _blinked_ and it died."

"Magnus is a human." Kravitz smiled at Taako, patient. "Time moves differently for him."

"In any other circumstance I'd agree," Taako said, walking forward a few steps so Kravitz couldn't look him in the eyes. "But we live on a magic ship that gives us immortality. He needs to chill."

Kravitz did a little half-jog to catch up to him. "What if you had a pet on the ship and it died?"

"First of all, I wouldn't get a _rat."_ Taako walked faster again, nose in the air. "Second of all, I wouldn't _get_ a pet in the first place. We land on a new planet and it's like--what the fuck did Merle say earlier?" Taako stopped moving, unable to walk and think at the same time. "It's all ashes and dust?"

"Not exactly what he said." Kravitz frowned. "Also I don't quite understand what you mean."

"It's _dumb,"_ he said, a little defensive. "To give a shit about anything we find on any given planet. If it's going to die anyway, there's no reason to--" Taako turned his head to look at Kravitz and saw him devastated. "Why are you looking at me like that?"

"I, um--" He whispered again, so quiet that Taako had to really try to hear him. Dude needed to learn how to speak up. "What about me?"

Taako shook his head. "You're different, don't worry about it."

"But what about--" Kravitz' mouth stayed open, but no sound came out. He ducked his head and kept walking. "No, you're right. It...has to be different."

They passed through the gates in silence, bound to the job that they were both tasked with. Kravitz walked to a particularly thick bunch of flowers and knelt down. Taako followed, reached down to touch one of the flower's petals. Taako only got a brief look at the flowers before. On their first date, he was mostly focused on Kravitz, didn't pay attention to the details of the flowers past the fact that they were constantly glowing. But upon further inspection, he realized that the flowers looked a lot like a specific species from his home planet--they didn't glow back at home, but Taako's breath still hitched when he noticed exactly what they were.

Forget-me-nots.

Pretty fucked up.

Kravitz paused, dead rat in hand. "Taako, are you alright?"

"Huh?" Taako's eyes snapped back to Kravitz. "Oh, yeah, just. Staring."

"May I have the spade?" Kravitz reached out his non-rat hand. Taako pulled the spade out of his bag and laid the handle in Kravitz' palm. "Thank you," he said, and put a little dirt at the bottom of the pot. He laid the rat inside and dusted off his hand. "I don't blame you for staring. They _are_ very beautiful."

"We had these at home," he said, voice choking on the last word. Nope. No way, Taako didn't even miss that place. It was a stink planet and nobody there gave two shits about him and Lup. There wasn't any good reason for him to _miss_ it. Taako pushed those thoughts down farther than he pushed his thoughts about Kravitz and carried on. "Well--sort of, they--they didn't glow, but. We had these."

"We had them too, where I'm from." Kravitz stared wistfully at the flowers, possibly recalling some far back memory. He transported some flowers into the pot, but stopped when he felt Taako staring at him. "What?"

"Yeah," he said, crawling up closer to Kravitz with a fierce determination. "Yeah _I know._ We're staring at them. Of course you had them."

"What do you mean?"

"Aren't you _from_   this plane?" It was a bit of a loaded question, and Taako knew that. But he needed to hear the answer.

"Oh." For a moment, Kravitz' whole being stuttered. His construct glitched out, a skeleton popped up, and then his skin came back a second later. His face was blank, but his voice was concerned and frantic. "Yes, I--I am. I must have--I'm sorry, my memory isn't so crystal clear, I, um--" Kravitz' expression finally broke and he frowned, pressing his head into his hand. "I think I grew up near a graveyard. We had these flowers near my home."

"Makes sense." It didn't make sense, but Taako knew from experience that Kravitz had trouble talking about events that happened more than a year ago. Maybe that meant something.

"They didn't glow, though..." Kravitz stared at the flowers, upset and frustrated and confused. His mind filled in the cracks of his logic and he calmed down, returning to his task. "It must have been a mutation."

Taako watched Kravitz, eyes wide. Time stopped for a split second, his heart frozen in place. Something inside of Kravitz was obviously contradicting another part of him--what did that mean? Was this evidence for all Kravitzes being the same, or was his memory just so screwed up that he couldn't sort his own thoughts out.

And if he was the same, would that even be a good thing?

If he was the same, that would mean that _his_ Kravitz killed him. Multiple times. It meant that _his_ Kravitz left him alone at the end of every year. That _his_ Kravitz would never be able to remember him. It wasn't a pleasant thought, so Taako just. Didn't think about it. He wouldn't have to think about it once the year was over, once Kravitz was gone, once--

Taako looked at Kravitz again, planting the flowers, and saw all Kravitzes.

That was a bad idea and he _knew_ that, so he pushed the thoughts away. But the thoughts kept bubbling back up to the surface, and suddenly Taako remembered, _really fucking remembered_ the good years he had with Kravitz. It was so easy to go year from year and start new and force himself to not think about previous Kravitzes. But he couldn't do that, not when the Kravitz in front of him had the same gleeful curiosity as Kravitz One, not when he kissed him like Kravitz Two, not when he had the patience to listen like Kravitz Six, or the comforting arms of Kravitz Seven, the cautious planning of Kravitz Eight, the way Kravitz Fourteen told him _sorry, the Raven Queen takes the helm sometimes, it's not me, it's--_

"Taako?" Kravitz said his name with some extra force behind it, like he had said his name a few times already. "Taako, are you sure you're alright? You keep staring off into space."

"I love you," he blurted out, ignoring the way his mind screamed to _not_ say it. "A lot."

"I--" The words hit Kravitz like a train, and he scrambled to give Taako his full attention. "I do, too. A lot."

Taako snorted. "It's only been a couple of months, my dude."

"You said it first." Kravitz smiled brighter than Taako thought was physically possible. He launched forward past some of the forget-me-nots and kissed Taako, holding him close. "I was going to wait. For your sake."

"Don't do that." Taako pressed up closer to him, his nose in the crook of his neck. "I liked hearing it."

Kravitz smiled and his eyes shimmered. "I love you, then."

"Mmm." Taako smiled into Kravitz' skin, looking up at him from where his head rested on his shoulder. "What'cha gonna do about it?"

"We have to get back to the funeral first," he said, and then chuckled. "We'll have all the time in the world after that."

"Well. I mean." Taako looked over to the pot with the rat. "Not _all the time."_

"...Right." Kravitz' good mood deflated. He held Taako closer, afraid he would disappear any second. "You're sure you can't take other living beings with you?"

"Nothing bigger than a rat."

Kravitz tilted his head. "What about me?"

"You're dead," Taako said, a bit mean.

"And that's what I _mean--"_ Kravitz let out a cute little whining noise. "Let me try to come with you?"

"Fine." Taako let out a put-upon sigh and brought his head back up level with Kravitz'. He cracked out a smile and kissed him quick. "If you want to try, you can try. Knock yourself out."

"I think it could work." Kravitz' hands roamed around his back. "I have a feeling deep in my gut that tells me this isn't our last few months together."

Taako laughed. "I have that feeling, too."

* * *

Taako woke up in Kravitz' arms for almost ten months now.

He didn't need to sleep, but he loved laying with Taako for the night. It was peaceful. Taako meditated some nights and slept other nights. Kravitz didn't mind either way. He just liked being there for it. Sometimes, when Taako was meditating, he could hear Kravitz whispering at the edges of his consciousness. Taako couldn't pick out sentences, but he understood the general mood from the tone of his voice.

Taako woke up and pressed his face down into Kravitz' chest. Took a deep breath. Today was when Kravitz traditionally left. One week before the Hunger. They had a nice dinner and a nice night the day before. Taako took up as much time with Kravitz as he was allowed. They still hadn't found the Light in this planet, so the rest of the crew scrambled to get that done. But. Davenport assured him that it was alright for Taako to relax until Kravitz left.

Taako really appreciated that. He needed the extra time.

Kravitz ran a hand down Taako's back, slow and comforting. Taako curled in closer to him. If he was going to leave soon, Taako was going to get all the time he could out of him. He didn't know if the next year's Kravitz would be friendly. He might not get to date him for another decade. Or never again.

Augh, he really needed to crack this code on Kravitz. If he knew whether or not all the Kravitzes were the same person, that'd be enough for him. He didn't care _what_ the answer was, either. He just wanted to know. To know if any of this had a future, or if he just had a really specific type _(looking for a guy, tall, dark, handsome, named Kravitz, works for the goddess of death, has a face with cheekbones that could fillet a fish)._ Years like this made him think that Kravitz _was_ the same every time. When he could crawl up under his arm and kiss him and _have this._

But the years when Kravitz actively tried to harm him...

He traced the tattoo on Kravitz' bicep with his finger. He already told Barry the new additions to the tattoo: two orange dots and a teal dot. Teal was new. It looked pretty against his skin. There was more color in it now than there ever was before. Whether that was a good or a bad thing was beyond Taako. It was nice to think that the tattoo meant something, that it changed for a _reason_ while Kravitz stayed static every year. But maybe it really was just a decoration. Still, when Taako got a look at the tattoo, it was easy to assume that Kravitz was the same guy. Why would dots be added--every year, once a year, consistently--if it didn't mean anything? Why would he have contradicting memories if he was a different person? But Taako would be a shitty scientist if he didn't get all the evidence before determining _what_ exactly was going on with him. There was still mountains of evidence showing that Kravitz _wasn't_ the same, that Taako was just going plane to plane seducing dudes that all looked and acted similarly.

Maybe that was a good thing. Maybe it was for the best that Taako only had a year to date him at a time. He wouldn't have to dive too deep into a relationship, just wade in the surface water long enough for the Hunger to come and reset the whole thing. No need to bare his whole soul out to Kravitz, no need to put himself in a more vulnerable position. If there wasn't a chance for progression, Taako could just kick back and enjoy himself. That would be nice, wouldn't it?

A separate part of his brain said _no, please, this has to be something more,_ but he chose to ignore that.

Kravitz kissed the top of Taako's head, rousing him awake. They could only sit there in silence for so long. "Don't you have work to do?" Kravitz asked, with a soft voice that Taako only heard in the early mornings and late at night, when it was just the two of them.

Taako stretched both his arms forward, his back popping in nine different places as he did so. He laid his full weight back on Kravitz. "Nah, Capp'nport always lets me off work the eighth day before the Hunger comes."

"Oh. So..." Kravitz held him a little closer. "It's soon, then?"

"Yeah."

When the crew explained their situation to Kravitz, they left out the existence of past Kravitzes. That meant Kravitz had no idea he was going to leave that day. Davenport humored the act, brought back out the plan they had for him in cycle one, when they didn't know Kravitz was going to be a repeating guest. They told him he should stay on the ship until the Hunger came, so that he could come with them into the next plane. Of course, Taako and the crew knew that this wouldn't work. But it made Kravitz a whole lot less afraid of the apocalypse, and allowed Taako to have some calm time with his boyfriend until he left.

No need for Kravitz to peek behind the curtain.

"In case, I, uh. In case it doesn't work, and I can't be carried over with the rest of you into the next year. Um. Just know that I--" Kravitz' breath caught in his throat, unable to spit out all his thoughts. "I had a really nice time--" He held Taako's cheek in his hand, soft smile "With you."

Taako just _had_ to kiss him for that. "I did, too," he said, all smiles as he pulled away.

Kravitz pulled him in for another kiss, more urgent. Taako wanted to get back to something soft and quiet for the morning, but he indulged Kravitz in it. They didn't have a lot of time. He figured he should let Kravitz set the pace.

"We should do something today," Kravitz blurted out once he let Taako have some air.  "Something fun."

"I'd really like that." Taako peeled himself off of Kravitz and swung his legs off the bed. "Lemme shower, I feel gross."

"Okay." Kravitz smiled, reaching for a book on the shelf next to Taako's bed. Small ship meant that everything was in arm's reach. "I'll be waiting here."

Taako blew him an overdramatic kiss, picked some (hopefully) clean underwear off the floor, and hopped into the bathroom.

He didn't think he spent _that_ much time in the shower, but he must have. Kravitz was absent when he came back, book thrown on the floor. Taako huffed--fine, rude, didn't even pop his head in to give him a warning. Just throwing his shit around (even though Taako's room was unorganized anyway). There was a hastily-folded paper on the edge of the bed, though, addressed to Taako. He leaned over to pick it up, holding it right in front of his face to read it.

_Taako,_

_Sorry, my Queen called me. She never calls, so I was thrown off guard. I should only be gone for an hour or so. Then we can start the day. I have a lot planned._

_Love you,_

_Kravitz_

Taako knew Kravitz wasn't coming back, but all he could do was smile at the paper.

After giving it a few more reads, he dropped it into the box jammed at the back of his closet. It was full of shit Kravitz had given him over the years: the nice skipping stone Kravitz One had given him, the lily from Kravitz Two, some jewelry he stole off of a couple rambunctious Kravitzes (he was planning on giving it to a _nicer_ Kravitz), and various other things from him he kept. Maybe the box was creepy, but it was so far back in his closet that Lup couldn't find it and burn it. Looked like a normal-ass shoebox.

Now, it was time to figure out what to do with the rest of his day off.

Taako had a pretty good idea of where Kravitz was planning on taking him, so why not go by himself?

He pulled one of Kravitz' big shirts over his head. Wouldn't let Lup set _this_ one on fire. It'd go back into the box as soon as he got back. He packed a day pack full of rations and supplies and headed out the ship. The walk to the graveyard wasn't as entertaining without Kravitz, the first sight of the flowers wasn't as impressive as when he entered in blind, and the tombstones looked a lot more imposing now that Taako was alone. In a few days, he'd fight with his sister over blowing up this world. In a few days, the world would reset and he'd meet another Kravitz and do this all over again. But in that moment, Taako didn't know that, and he certainly didn't care about any of it. Kravitz was still in his mind, and Taako wanted to keep him there for as long as he could allow.

He'd see him next year.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> see, some years *are* happy! sort of. 
> 
> can ya'll believe today is the taz anniversary (at least, one of them)?? i can't. personally, i listened to taz balance in a two week binge days after SAS was posted. whoa, that was when I was in college! time flies by fast. 
> 
> next chapter is the beach year! it's a shorter chapter than usual (still about 6k) but there's some good taako barry friendship


	7. Cycle 21

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Barry and Taako alter their plan. Lucretia paints from memory.

Davenport held the Light in his hands. They retrieved it so quickly. He looked all around to his crew's tired faces, to the twenty years of exhaustion that bogged their expressions down, and declared Cycle twenty-one a mental health year.

Magnus tore his shirt off in an instant and ran into the waves. Lup jumped in after him. Taako grinned and ran to his cabin to grab a pair of swimming shorts he snagged about ten cycles back. He spent most of his time in the water on the beach year, to the surprise of everyone else. Cooking and magic were his fields of expertise, and he took those seriously, but swimming and water sports filled him with no shortage of childlike glee.

Not _watersports,_ gross. Literal water sports.

Of course, Taako invented surfing. It combined two of his favorite things: water and the sensation of contorting the forces of nature to his own will. He also changed up his aesthetic for the year, made himself look like some kind of crunchy beach babe/gremlin. He'd drop the look as soon as the year was over, it had no right to exist outside of this plane, but Taako enjoyed the looks on everyone's faces when he walked out in beach shorts and a puka necklace two minutes after the phrase "mental health year" exited Davenport's mouth.

They all cut loose more than usual on the beach year. Davenport didn't distribute orders. Merle made shitty presents for everyone. Magnus kept trying to scare the shit out of everyone. Lucretia spent a lot of time drawing and painting, although when the crew asked to see what she was working on she smiled and said it was a secret. Lup did a lot of sunbathing, even if the tan wouldn't keep over the next year. She said she liked the warmth. And, Barry...

Barry asked him for swimming lessons. Taako felt solid enough in their friendship to grant him that favor.

Mostly because it was _really fucking funny_ to watch him almost drown in three foot deep water. Taako expected him to give up and stay in the sand, but he'd come back every morning. Asked to go a little deeper. His stupid nerdy determination was charming to watch, even when he inhaled a lungful of saltwater and had to call Merle over. Barry improved every day, much faster than Taako anticipated. Listened to all the advice he gave, stayed curious and open-minded.

So Taako actually tried to be helpful. Was uncharacteristically reassuring, _nicer_ than he'd usually be. Saved Barry's ass a few times when he tried to pull a stunt he wasn't ready for.

Asked what the _fuck_ was bothering him so much.

Because, as much fun as Barry seemed to have with their daily lessons, something was wrong. He was more frustrated than he should have been. He kept looking back to shore. He ducked his head down in the water whenever he heard the crew's voices get too close. He fidgeted more than usual. He pushed himself too far when other people were looking. Just, always on edge and ready to run. If Taako didn't know any better, he'd think that Barry was ashamed to be hanging around Taako.

Taako sat him aside one day and asked what the fuck was going on.

It took about ten minutes of fumbling, but Taako finally got Barry to say what his deal was.

It turned out Lup was the cause.

He didn't say it outright, but Taako could read between the lines. He'd seen the two of them avoid each other and tap dance around something that was so obviously there. If it were anyone else, Taako would feel extremely protective of Lup (he had done so before--she dated some real stinkers in the past, when they were younger and not as solid). But this was _Barry Bluejeans,_ and Taako knew Lup could take him down in a heartbeat if he ever did anything bad. And he wouldn't do anything bad, because, again, this was _Barry._

So, whatever, Taako listened to him. Maybe he'd nudge him in the right direction.

"Oh, I--I don't know about...you know, I don't know about _in love,_ it's only been twe--" Barry paused, eyes widening as he understood exactly what he was saying. "Um. Twenty-one years."

"Sure," Taako said. He'd heard that same tone from Lup a few times, during the nights she'd come to vent. When he told her to just make a move on Barry and get it over with. He grinned, happy that his sister's crush was reciprocated and smug that they were both stupid and too afraid to say anything. "Sure."

"Sh--shit." Barry ran a hand through his hair, his entire face red. Or. More red--he got _so_ sun burnt this year.

Taako paused for a moment, wondering how he should approach this. "Barry--"

He collapsed in on himself, covered his face. Embarrassed that he just confessed something like that to Lup's _brother._ "Um--"

"Barry, I--" He wondered if he should just _tell_ Barry the things Lup said about him when she was sad or drunk or sappy. But. He figured that wasn't fair for Lup, to just have her feelings told to him unsolicited. It might have moved things along quicker, but he wouldn't risk his sister's trust for that. "You got all the time in the world, my man." Taako grit his teeth a bit, not meaning for this to come out so sarcastic. "A hell of a lot more time than I do."

"Taako, that's. Uh. I should talk to you...about that." Barry wove his fingers together, talking into his hands. Too afraid to make eye contact. "I guess I haven't been. Entirely honest as to...why I wanted to study Kravitz."

"What's that supposed to mean?" That might have sounded overly defensive, but, _fuck,_ Taako was defensive about the guy.

"I just, sort of--I don't. I don't think I could even _begin_ to imagine being in your position." Barry pressed both of his palms behind them, letting them sink into the sand. "I feel like if we can--study him, we can figure out what's going on, and. And, uh."

"And?" Taako scooted forward. Intrigued.

"And maybe see if we can't access his memory or something?" Barry shrugged, trying his best not to seem too hopeful. Kept things realistic. "I mean, if he's the same guy. Which...I feel like he might be? I need some more data, he's been real fuckin' nasty for a couple'a years, but--"

"No, I, uh--I got some, uh, theories of my own. I think I've got, uh, evidence to show that he's the same dude?" Taako should have been ready to speak about all the intricacies of the situation, but his entire mind was wiped from the concept of accessing Kravitz' memory. He hadn't even _thought_ of that. "You really think you can do that? Get his memory kicking?"

"I read a few things about it in a necromancy book I picked up a few cycles back. It's not entirely clear, but I got a whole lotta time to figure it out, don't I?" Barry smiled, shy and apologetic. "It won't be quick, but. It's something, right?"

Taako didn't even need to think about it before he knew that, yes, that's exactly what he wanted. It wasn't an _option_ before, so he resigned himself to thinking that Kravitz would just be a yearly fling. But, knowing this, he wanted more. He _wanted_ Kravitz to know him, he wanted to have something longer, more serious, even if the thought of going deeper into a relationship was difficult for him. He could do it for Kravitz, though.

And now he _really_ wanted Kravitz to remember him.

"Yeah." Taako nodded, slow but determined. "Yeah, if you really think you can--" He bit down on his own bubbling feelings, hoping Barry wouldn't see how close that thought brought him to a breakdown. The idea was just...so good. Taako wanted that. He wanted to do anything to assist that. "Anything we can start doing this year to, uh, to get it going?"

"If we can find him this year," he said, reaching for a pen and paper. He realized he didn't have any on him and sighed. He drew a few shapes into the sand to keep himself occupied, even though they weren't proper notes. "It rules out a few things. There's no sentient life here, just fish and plants. Usually, we can't find him in years like this." Barry's hand pressed into his sand doodles and he looked right at Taako. "But, I'm thinking--maybe that's just 'cause he isn't looking for us?"

"Like in cycle seventeen," Taako said, mumbling through his hand. "Didn't have anyone to reap. Found him dicking around in a junkyard."

"Exactly!" Barry's eyes lit up, excited that Taako was getting into this. "He was the only reaper, too. Why weren't there any others?"

"Yeah...usually there are other ones..." Taako buried his fingers in the sand, half out of boredom and half out of frustration. He refused to look Barry in the eye, just talking to the sand. "If we see him this year, and no other reapers, do you think that means it's 'cause he... _has_ to be here?"

"Like he's traveling the planes too?" Barry held himself back from getting too riled up. Making up theories didn't mean anything if he didn't have anything to back it up, but he looked eager to start the project. "I don't know. If we find him this year, that doesn't automatically confirm that hypothesis, but it means we can keep looking for more clues."

"Right." Taako nodded, and kept nodding. Fuck. He was too excited about this. "Right, that's. That's cool. We can do that."

"I've been looking, and it doesn't seem like he's anywhere on the shores of this place. Not a lot of landmass to check, and there's not a big chance he's at the bottom of the ocean. Unless he's just a fish reaper." Barry looked around the beach, as if he thought Kravitz would walk down the sands at any time. "Do you think you can get us into the Astral plane?"

"Who do you think I am, Barold?" Taako grinned, lazy and overconfident. "A'course I can."

"We'll go at night." Barry smiled back, too fucking genuine for Taako to handle. "Davenport might be angry at us if he catches us working."

"And Lup'd kill me," Taako added. "You won't tell her," he said. It wasn't a question or a request. It was a demand. Taako wasn't in the business of keeping secrets from Lup, not anymore. But Lup might have thought less of Barry if she found out he was helping out with the whole Kravitz situation. If Barry and Lup didn't get together specifically because of that, Taako would never forgive himself. If they didn't work out, he'd rather it be because of something between the two of them. Not because of twin drama.

"I won't." Barry opened his mouth a few times, unsure of if he should say what was on his mind. Eventually, he squeaked something out. "She's probably just worried about you."

"Yeah, but that doesn't mean she's gotta--" Taako shook his head. Nope. No, as much as he liked Barry, he wasn't at the stage where he could vent about Lup to him. "Ugh, we're _not_ talking about this."

Barry nodded once. "Okay."

"My room, midnight." Taako stood up and pointed at Barry. "Got it?"

He smiled. "Got it."

The two broke off after that, the swimming lesson completed. Barry actually got _back_ in the water, claiming he liked how cool the water was when it was warm. Taako left his board half buried in the sand to go watch Merle's dumbass gift exchange. He let his seaweed slippers float into the sky. It was a good day.

* * *

Taako and Barry stepped through a portal into the Astral Plane. A fine mist surrounded them, and their feet stepped out onto shaky ground. There wasn't a real floor, just the illusion of one. With a little bit of force, Taako could step downwards. Barry put his foot up and found he was able to step upwards. They could move freely through the whole plane, as the whole plane bent and shaped around their forms. Nothing was solid, and Taako and Barry had to work to stay in one place. It was like swimming through jello or sour cream.

(Sour cream? Taako invented that on his grandpa's farm. He needed to find a way to use that in a recipe...)

It was immeasurably cold, and the two were unable to breathe. Not that they needed to. All of their bodily functions stayed suspended in time. No heartbeat, no breathing, no blinking. Barry didn't seem to think the two were permanently dead, so Taako didn't worry about that. The whole place was dark, too, darker than the last time Taako visited the Astral plane. There were only a few faint lights way below their feet, hundreds of miles down.

"It's empty," Taako said, not even trying to hide the disappointment in his voice.

"Too empty." Barry adjusted the glasses on his face and turned all around, looking far off in the distance. His face scrunched up in deep thought. "It wasn't like this when _I_ died the first time."

"Me neither." Taako had to hoist himself up to Barry's level. He lost concentration while looking around the place. "What's the deal?"

"I'm guessing it's empty because nobody's died." Barry blinked a few times, even though he didn't have to. His face screwed up in his ugly thinking face. "Plants don't really have souls, do they?"

"Dunno, ask Merle." Taako shrugged. He had bigger things to worry about than the philosophy of plant souls. "But there are, like, _fish_ and animals on this plane. Don't they end up here?"

"I see some lights way, way down there." Bary pointed below them. "Maybe that's where they go?"

"Maybe." Taako looked above, wondering if any lights were up there. But none were. It was pitch-black, completely empty. Except for _one_ light. A tiny pinpoint miles above them. White, warm, shining. Barry and Taako were too far down to swim up to it, so they ignored it. Looked around for other signs of life or death in this empty expanse.

As they looked around, the light from above them started to get larger. Or, not larger--closer. It was a ball of light, about the size of a softball. The edges of it were fuzzed and transparent, and it didn't strain Taako's eyes to look directly at the light. It felt warm, somehow, like he was looking at an old friend. Taako reached his hand out to touch it, and felt a thousand emotions flicker through his mind as he did so. All of them were positive.

"Barry," he said, pulling the light closer to him. "Got any idea what this is?"

"It looks like a raw soul." Barry swam near Taako and the light, inspecting it. "What's it doing?"

Taako pushed the soul away, but it kept nudging up against him. "It keeps trying to get up in my business."

"Let me see." Barry held out his arms. Taako pressed the light into his hands. It swirled around Barry's palms, exploring the space. Barry muttered a barely audible _wow,_ moving his glasses up onto his forehead so he could check it out up close. Taako had a dull feeling in the back of his mind that he should stop Barry, that he should take the light in his hands and move it away from him. It was like the thrall of the Light, but way smaller and not absolute. It wasn't like he wanted it away from Barry forever--he just didn't want Barry to hurt it or poke at it. Gentle concern instead of a thrall.

Seemed like the soul didn't want Barry to poke at it either, because it kept floating over to Taako's side.

"It keeps drifting over to you," Barry said, lips pursed in a pout. He crossed his arms, angry the soul liked Taako more than him. "I can't study it like that."

"Ugh, just take notes." Taako's fingers passed through the soul. He smiled, pleased with the buzzing feeling the soul ran through his skin. "I'll dissect it, or whatever you were going to do with it."

"I don't have any of my equipment here."

Taako ran his palm over the warm light. "We can take it back, can't we?"

"Probably. It shouldn't hurt the thing." Barry looked around the plane and saw that Taako's original portal was gone. "Can you get us out of here?"

"Sure." Taako ripped a whole in the planes, just large enough for him and Barry to step through. He saw a fuzzed outline of the Starblaster's lab on the other side. Barry stepped through immediately, wanting to get out of the nauseating funhouse that was the Astral plane. Taako hooked a leg through the hole and held his arms out to the soul. "C'mon, little thing."

The soul drifted backwards a few yards. Taako ran back into the Astral plane, and it came right by his side again, happy and buzzing.

"Barry? It doesn't want to come," he said, keeping his voice breezy even though that dull feeling in the back of his head was afraid to leave the soul by itself. Why was that happening?

"Ah, wait--" Barry pulled out a jar from a table in the lab, unscrewed it, and held the mouth next to the soul. He was half in one plane half in the other, awkwardly holding out the jar with his torso sitting on the barrier to the planes. The soul hovered at the lip of the jar, not going inside but not running, either.

"Oh, good idea." Taako swam next to Barry and watched him fumble to get the soul into the jar. "Jar it."

"Just so we can take a closer look." Barry lifted the lid of the jar slowly, so the light wouldn't be frightened. "I'll put it back later." He pressed the lid on the soul and guided it into the jar. The soul _did not_ like that, crashed into Barry's hand and _zapped_ it. "Ow-- _OW--_ what's your _fucking problem--"_

"Here, lemme see." Taako took the jar in one hand and held out his other hand. The soul quickly retreated into Taako's palm, and he used the opportunity to gently push it into the jar. He screwed the top on before it could escape. "Nah, look. All calm now. It just hates you."

Barry huffed, annoyed that the soul played favorites. "Whatever, let's take it back so I can take a look at it."

Taako laughed and stepped back into the Material plane. The soul jittered around excitedly in the jar. It would stop being so excited once Taako and Barry started tests, but Taako still thought the energetic ball of personality was cute. He didn't know why, but there was _something_ about it.

Geez, he shouldn't say that out loud. Barry might call him out for having the world's weirdest fetish.

* * *

Taako woke up to the sound of glass scooting on his nightstand.

He saw the soul push against the boundaries of the glass, pushing over and over again. Getting precariously close to the edge with each push. Sure, the soul moved every once in a while--Taako had it on his nightstand for a few months, occasionally letting Barry take it to study it. Still, it was never this active, and it never tried to escape. Taako held his hand under the nightstand and caught the jar before it crashed to the floor.

"Hey," he said, bringing the jar to his chest. "I'm trying to sleep."

The soul blinked a few times in the jar, rapidly. Not in a pattern, not any sort of language. Just a few pulses of raw emotion.

"I know, it sucks to be in the jar." Taako frowned. Man, it must look weird that he's talking to a jar. But nobody was around to see, so did it really matter? Taako twisted off the top of the jar, let the soul float out, and set the jar back on the nightstand. He laid back down, speaking to the air. "I got trapped in an hourglass once. Hated that. Do not recommend."

The soul calmed down, floating to rest right at Taako's sternum. The light gave off a faint warmth.

"Should'a known you just wanted to get your cuddle on." Taako closed his eyes and prepared to go back to sleep. Wanted those _good_ z's he couldn't get through meditation. He hooked his arm around the light, unable to hold it in his arms. But he could have his arm as a little enclosure for it, and the soul seemed to appreciate it.

After a few hours of rest the soul left him, whizzing around the room frantically. Taako blinked, rubbed the sleep out of his eyes. Checked the clock: four in the morning. Really? Taako just wanted to sleep.

"C'mon," he groaned and sat up. "You're like a fucking puppy, what's up?"

The soul found his wand and kept dancing over it. Good thing it could vaguely communicate with Taako though actions. If he had to play twenty questions with a ball of light, he'd tear all his hair out.

"You want a magic show? Weird." Taako picked up the wand and held it out in front of him, ready to cast. He raised his brows at the soul. "Fine, what do I cast?"

It floated in front of him, unanswering. Great, Taako had to play twenty questions with a goddamn light bulb.

"You want...fireworks?"

The soul stood still.

"What about some...magic soul armor?"

The soul stayed still.

"Want to go to another plane?"

The soul whirled in the air a few times, circling Taako and blinking rapidly. This thing really _was_ like a dog.

Taako couldn't help but laugh at that. Something about this soul made him feel warm and safe. "Back to the Astral plane?" he asked, wand raised with a hand on his hip. The soul's movements became faster. It pushed against Taako's body, the edges of the light blinking and stuttering.

He sighed. "Barry's gonna kill me, you know."

The soul didn't care, kept dancing around Taako. Let the edges of the light buzz around his skin, leaving him with a pleasant feeling inside his heart. It vaguely reminded him of the soul kissing he did in cycle six on the boat. Actually, the more the soul pushed into him, the more Taako thought about Kravitz. He paused, ears pinned back.

Was this--

"Kravitz?" he asked, eyes wide and staring at the light.

The light blinked in recognition a few times. It stopped moving so frantically, as if it were caught off guard. It floated closer to Taako, curious.

"You're Kravitz?" he repeated, holding his hand out to the soul.

Kravitz immediately melted into his hand, and Taako felt that weird tingling sensation again. He wondered why Barry hadn't been able to identify Kravitz--maybe because they didn't have a large pool of data of what his soul was supposed to look like? Taako didn't know. He wasn't a soul expert. But this was _good,_ it meant that he and Barry could more accurately figure out what the fuck was going on with Kravitz.

"Do you know who I am?" Taako asked in a quiet voice, hopeful.

The blinking stopped. Kravitz dipped away from Taako's body, slow and sad. Taako let out a breath. Of course Kravitz wouldn't know him. Why would it be any different when he was a soul? Still didn't feel great, though.

"Thought not." Taako sat down, and Kravitz followed him impatiently. Kept knocking himself against Taako's wand, asking for him to make the portal. "Cool your jets, I'll throw you back into the Astral plane in, like, a few minutes."

Kravitz' soul nudged up against him, firm and insistent and blinking so fast it turned Taako's room into a discount discotheque.

"I swear," Taako promised, "gimme a few minutes, okay?"

Kravitz didn't listen to him, kept pushing and blinking. 

"No, really." Taako pressed his hand into the soul, pleading. "Please, I'd just. Like to have some time with you."

It didn't work--Kravitz just kept working at it. He shocked the end of Taako's fingers very lightly. Not enough to deliver pain, but enough to let Taako know that he wanted _out._

That was fine, he guessed. Sure, he liked it when he got extra time with Kravitz, but he had a year to date him last time (Taako briefly remembered how cute he looked as a drow, all the quiet afternoons they had together, how it was almost peaceful). He wasn't _hurting_ for more Kravitz time like he was before--when he hadn't dated him for a decade. This was more of an inconvenience than a tragedy.

"No?" Taako watched Kravitz, and he stopped all the energy. Kravitz floated closer to him, and without words, Taako knew he couldn't stay. He groaned and picked his wand back up. "Fuck, fine. I'm not your fucking warden."

Kravitz bounced in the air, happy. Taako smiled and ripped a hole to the Astral plane. He gestured towards it, but Kravitz didn't go through immediately.

"Go on. Get out there." Taako pushed him towards the hole, but Kravitz floated under his arm. "Get out!" Taako frowned, watched Kravitz intensely. Kravitz hovered closer to his face. Taako groaned. "Are you seriously going to make me wait out the apocalypse with you?"

Kravitz floated right next to his fingers and Taako felt a pulling sensation. Like Kravitz asked him to come with him.

"Dumbass." Taako made his way into the plane, and Kravitz happily followed behind him. "I'll walk through with you, but I'm not staying."

The soul nudged itself in the crook of Taako's neck, a silent _thank you._   Taako brushed his fingers up next to the warmth and smiled. They floated into the Astral plane together. Kravitz kept floating around, more suited to the movement this plane allowed. Taako had to awkwardly swim up behind him, flailing his limbs around in an attempt to find solid ground that didn't exist.

He stayed with Kravitz for a few minutes, watching his light excitedly flit around. But after ten minutes, Taako's eyes felt heavy and he needed to go to bed.

"Bye," he said, waving. He swam up next to the portal. "Come find me again."

Kravitz blinked a few more times, confused. He seemed to get the message and swam away. Taako watched the light drift away into obscurity before dumping himself back into the Material plane. He'd have to tell Barry about this--that was _definitely_ Kravitz. That was a good thing! Taako flopped back on his bed, unable to stop smiling. This was a good thing. Definitely. It meant they had a bit more evidence to the fact that Kravitz was the same guy. Same soul.

He just needed a way to get him to remember all the other years.

Until then, he'd enjoy his time on the beach.

* * *

Lucretia tore back the red sheet covering her monster-sized canvas.

Behind the sheet was a portrait of the seven of them, all in uniform. This was the project she worked on for the entire year. Davenport in the middle, Lucretia directly behind him and Merle off to his right. Magnus towered over Merle, smiling and flexing. Lup and Taako were off to the left, with Lup teasing Barry. There was an eerie blank spot next to Taako, which was only noticeable because Taako held out his arm a little.

And they all looked so happy.

The team hollered and whistled at the canvas, giving Lucretia multiple back-pats and high-fives. Davenport insisted that they find a way to display it in the common room. They set the painting aside, away from the fire and the country boil, so they could admire it during their last night on the beach. Later during the boil, Lucretia approached Taako.

"I enchanted it," she whispered, only loud enough for Taako to hear, "so that he'll show up in the painting when you're together."

Taako glanced back at the painting. The big empty spot next to him made sense now. Kravitz was meant to go there. Taako wondered how Lucretia painted him--what appearance would he take? Taako would just have to find out.

"Thanks, Creesh." Taako smiled, and then turned it into a wicked grin when he feared that looked too genuine. He elbowed her. "Kind of shitty, though, 'cause I can't tell if you made him handsome enough."

"You'd have to be the judge of that. Not my type." Lucretia shrugged, speaking in a dead monotone. "I drank too much loving women juice and that's my default now."

Taako barked out a laugh and pulled Lucretia into a tight side-hug. It wasn't normally either of their styles, but fuck it. Taako was in a good mood, and Lucretia did him a big solid. After a moment of hesitation, she hooked an arm around his shoulder. They didn't say anything, because nothing needed to be said. That was the kind of friendship they cultivated. It was comfortable. Nice.

_"MAGNUS!"_

Lucretia and Taako let go of each other and whipped their heads in the direction of the sound. Barry's glasses launched forward into the sand. Lup laughed, picked them up, and slipped them back onto Barry's face. Lucretia gave Taako A Look. Taako gave one back. Both completely aware of the situation, nodding in silent acknowledgement.

The beach year was a good year.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Shorter chapter today! But the beach episode was one of the shorter sessions, too, so........i'm valid
> 
> next chapter is one of the longest ones yet, and one of my favorites! time to go to a plane where necromancy is 100% legal!


	8. Cycle 28

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Lup snaps. Kravitz critiques tradition. Taako gets some double-edged information.

Necromancy was celebrated and encouraged in cycle twenty-eight.

Everyone had been revived at least a dozen times, even in smaller villages. People were considered children until they died for the first time. Barry was _ecstatic,_ immediately went out to find some good tomes. He usually had to go into shady back alleys to learn more about necromancy, but he could walk into any library and pick out level si necromancy books like it was nothing.

Cycle twenty-eight was stuck in the past--a medieval place with castles and cottages and the absence of the middle class. Technology started to boom as soon as the Light dropped, though someone assembled a printing press as soon as it touched down in the cycle's Parliament building.

The Raven Queen had a large presence in this plane as the most celebrated and worshipped goddess. It was rare to see her in full form, but not impossible. The crew hadn't seen her in the first couple of weeks after they touched down, but she appeared during special events and holidays. Liked to party. She still had to regulate the laws of life and death, and even though necromancy was encouraged, some things were still forbidden. Resurrections were encouraged, immortality was not. Nonconsensual raisings were illegal. Raising people as a different species or as a walking skeleton was frowned upon. And while some of these crimes necessitated the goddess' explicit intervention, minor infractions and problems were solved by the Black Gloves.

The Black Gloves were similar to reapers in previous planes, but there were a lot more of them. They all dressed immaculately and were always poised and pretty. They came in all sorts of races, but each of them had feathers of some kind, sitting around the hairline or around the jaw. Dwarven Black Gloves had their beards replaced with feathers, for example, and gnomish Black Gloves had tiny downy feathers where their mustaches should be. Elvish Black Gloves had them around the eyes, thick at the brows, and humans had them puff out at the hairline.

And, true to the name, the Black Gloves had long, black gloves that ran all the way up to their shoulders. Magnus high-fived one and said it was like touching ice.

The Black Gloves didn't come to take anybody away like reapers did, but they were always there to lend a hand when a resurrection failed and left someone's body damaged. They were more like social workers for death: acting as therapists when someone decided not to be revived anymore, offering support when something went wrong, or teaching younger necromancers about health and safety during rituals. The only people they took away were liches, and liches were only made by power-hungry necromancers that thought they could escape death forever.

With a world that didn't fear death, but befriended it, it was difficult to convince them the world was ending.

Davenport tried to negotiate with them to hand over the Light, but they didn't have any problems that needed to be fixed. Their infrastructure was working out well ("Not well enough," Lup said under her breath, "did you see how much they took away from the farmers?") and the Raven Queen protected them from oblivion. The society was happy, for the most part, and Davenport couldn't pinpoint anything they could exchange for the Light.

"Except for one thing," one of the Parliament members said, a hand on their chin.

"Anything." Davenport was desperate.

"We've just gotten word that the Black Glove's ball is going to be held in a week," said another member, tapping her fingers on a large calendar in front of her, "which means the Raven Queen will ask a favor of our kingdom."

"She often asks for very unreasonable favors." The first Parliament member laid their chin in their hands, smiling softly at the crew. "So if you could disappear that little problem...we'd be more than happy to hand over the Light."

The crew grinned amongst themselves, knowing that this was their chance. And they were going to have fun at this stuffy medieval party if it killed them.

Which, given how obsessed with death this plane was, it _could_ kill them.

* * *

Once the villagers realized that the crew was going to help out at the Black Glove's ball, they outfitted them with the fanciest clothing they could manage. Everyone in the crew was a sight, the nicest they looked in decades. Lup whispered to Taako in a dressing room, expressing her concern of how excited they were to make them look fancy and nice, but Taako barely listened. This party sounded hella tight, and he was going to cut loose.

Taako absolutely took advantage of the ruffled collars and heavy fabrics of this plane. Good news was that this plane tailored a lot of dress styles for men, so he wasn't stuck trying to fit on something that wasn't meant for his shape. He had a lot of options, and the whole process of choosing an outfit for the ball was delightful. He wore a high collar that ruffled under the chin, a thick dress that fell to the floor in waves, and long puffy sleeves. Over top all of it was a satin shawl that turned into a robe once it fell down the shoulders, a piece of clothing that Taako hadn't ever seen before. Dude swam in fabric. It was rad.

Lup and Lucretia pointed out that the villagers outfitted all the men in the crew with more elaborate clothing. The women looked nice, sure, but Taako and the rest of the guys were visions, all in expensive velvet and ruffles with everything fitted perfectly. Magnus tapped one of the tailors on the shoulder and asked her what was up with all the stuffy outfits.

"We've gotten wind that the guest of honor prefers men," the tailor explained, an apologetic smile on her face, "we're just hedging our bets."

The crew shrugged, hoped the ball wasn't a trap, and attended in all their fancy clothing.

The hall it was hosted in was the height of opulence. No mortal could afford a place that looked like this--this was wealth that was accumulated over hundreds of lifetimes. Everything gilded and shining and clean, all of the plates the finest ceramics and the silverware untarnished. The guests were just as decorated as the hall, but the men in the crew were still the best dressed.

A figure stepped out on the top staircase, and she needed no introduction. She was ten feet tall, with the head of a bird and pitch black feathers. She stepped forward in a red and black suit with a cloak that was twice as long as she was. Her hands had talons and scaled skin, and her eyes were red beads that shined brighter than jewels. This was the Raven Queen, and there was no question about that.

Kravitz stood to her side, tiny by comparison. Shorter than he normally was, although that hardly mattered when he stood next to the height of a goddess. Dressed in the Black Glove uniform that the crew had seen for a month, except more decorated. Actually, he looked more decorated than the Queen herself, as if she meant to put him on display. His gloves were red instead of black, and he came forward as a half-elf: feathers on the brows and hairline, and a few on the jaw. Face was the same as always, except a bit fuller in the cheeks--a bit fuller everywhere. Damn. That was a hell of a look on him.

Of course, Taako was blown away.

Lup elbowed him. "Are you going to be chill?"

"No," Taako said, his grin so wide it cut his face in half.

She sighed and rolled her eyes. "Fine. Be careful."

The Raven Queen waved her hand and Kravitz descended the staircase, cautious. Taako knew him well enough to see the nerves behind his carefully crafted neutral expression. As he descended the stairs, the crowd moved to form an empty space in the middle of the hall. Hands pushed the Starblaster crew to the edges of the crowd, forcing them into visibility.

"What's going on?" Magnus asked, keeping his voice down as quiet as it could go.

"We're not supposed to dance until he picks his first partner," someone in the crowd whispered, their hand on Magnus's shoulder. "Just stay still."

Kravitz scanned around the edges of the crowd, nervously looking for a partner. His eyes locked with Taako's after a couple turnarounds, and once he looked at Taako, he didn't stop. Cautiously, he walked over to the edge of the crowd where Taako stood, eyes still on him, and held out one red-gloved hand.

"May I have a dance?" he asked, voice shy but genuine.

"Of course, homie, who'd say no to a face like that?" Taako grinned and took his hand, squeezed it lightly. It was freezing at first, like touching dry ice, but after a moment Taako's hand went numb and the temperature wasn't a problem anymore. "Kind of a clammy one, eh?" he asked, playful in his voice.

A few of the Parliament members scoffed at Taako's tone, but Kravitz let out a nervous giggling trill.

"It certainly is. You'll have to excuse me." Kravitz pulled him out of the crowd, and suddenly all eyes were on the two of them. Kravitz brought him out to the center of the emptied space, paying no attention to the crowd around them. "I hope this doesn't give you stage fright. I know they can be a little stuffy."

"We'll just have to fix that, then." Taako squeezed Kravitz' hands and paused. "Uh, wait. There's a problem."

Kravitz loosened his grip on Taako's hand, blinking. "Oh--oh no, did I do something wrong?"

"No, not you, I--" Taako held on even tighter, letting out a laugh that he wished didn't sound so nervous. "I just don't know how to do this? This fancy dancing."

"It's called a waltz, and if you just follow my lead you'll be fine." Kravitz relaxed and helped Taako into position without making it too obvious he had no idea how to waltz. "Your dress covers your feet, nobody will know if you make a couple missteps."

"As long as you don't mind."

"I've heard you're not from here, I can't fault you for not knowing." Kravitz started to move, and Taako could see the musicians scrambling to pick up their instruments off in the distance. "Your name is?"

"Taako," he said, just as the music started to play, deafening through the hall.

The two of them both looked towards the musicians. A few of the players caught on that it was too loud, and quieted down. Kravitz turned his full attention back onto Taako. "My name is Kravitz."

Taako didn't have to struggle much to keep up. Kravitz did a good job leading, making all his movements more obvious than they normally would be so Taako could keep track of what was happening. All the spectators had eyes on the two, waiting to see what happened. Worried that this wouldn't pan out. But it _did._ The two didn't speak much, but Taako could see that Kravitz was absolutely enchanted by him. Once the two got farther into the dance, other people coupled off and joined them, although Taako's full attention was glued to Kravitz.

"So, uh, this is gonna sound like a dumb question," Taako said, about halfway through the song, quiet enough that only the two of them could hear, "but what's this party all about?"

"Nobody told you?" Kravitz spoke just as Lup and Magnus waltzed on over. "My Queen wants me to find a spouse."

"That's it? That's all this is for?" Taako ignored the fire-eyed glance Lup gave the two of them as she passed them by. He didn't need her eavesdropping. "What's up with that?"

Kravitz could only shrug. "The Raven Queen doesn't care to employ bachelors, I suppose."

"So, wait, I don't get it--" Taako looked around the hall. The locals still looked on edge, but slightly more relieved now that one of the visitors was dancing with the guest of honor. "The, uh, the villagers seemed really _worried_ about all this? But if you're just looking for someone to marry, what's so freaky about that?"

"I, uh--all of the Black Glove's spouses are...eternally deceased." Kravitz' voice dropped. He looked a little sad by the idea of it. Taako ignored Lup's jaw dropping ten feet away. "It can be unpleasant. Nobody is used to that."

"What, they're afraid of _dying?"_ Taako sneered and rolled his eyes, not at all reverent of the situation. "I've seen fools die all over the place here, not a big deal."

 _"Permanently_ dying. Nobody can raise a Black Gloves' spouse," he said, again, clarifying. The situation saddened Kravitz, and Taako took note not to be so dickish about it. He really wanted Kravitz to like him this year. "Like how I am. And how the rest of the Black Gloves are. Except, spouses are physically bound to the Astral plane."

"Gotta say," Taako said, leaning up very close to Kravitz. Closer than what was socially acceptable in this plane. "I'm not entirely turned off by that."

"I--" Kravitz' moves dropped in quality for a few moments as he processed that thought. "Really?"

"I've been dead and locked in the Astral plane before." Taako enjoyed the confused look Kravitz' face, but figured he should give more details. Confused Kravitz was cute, but not super great for bargaining. "In other planes, I mean. It's, uh, it's not new to me."

Kravitz frowned, squeezed his arm. "This is permanent, though."

Taako dialed up the charm, looping his arm tighter around Kravitz' neck. He heard gasps from some of the stuffier guests in the back of his head, but that didn't matter. "An eternity with you doesn't sound so bad."

"You hardly know me," he said, trying to sound intimidating or unhappy but failing.

"You'd be surprised." Taako kept his arm to himself, trying to look as genuine as possible for a minute. As much as he liked playing and flirting, it was important that Kravitz enjoyed it too--he actually cared about Kravitz' feelings. Shocker. "If you're not into it I'll back off, but, uh--"

"I'm enjoying this." Kravitz spoke forcefully. "More than I probably should be."

"Enjoy it all you want, no shame." Taako looked off to the side and saw dozens of couples with too much space in between them. "Although, this plane's got shame in bulk."

"It does." Kravitz laughed nervously.

"Don't listen to 'em." Just to prove his point, Taako pressed up closer to Kravitz. He heard more protests from the spectators, but that didn't matter. As far as Taako was concerned, the only people in the room were him and Kravitz. "Modesty's for boring people."

"I do enjoy _some_ modesty, but this is ridiculous." Kravitz didn't shy away. He held Taako closer to him. It wasn't clear if he did that on an instinct or if it was on purpose, but Taako wasn't going to complain. "I would prefer to get to know somebody for more than _one meeting,_ at the very least. This is a lot of pressure."

"Well," Taako said, head cocked to the side, his hand finding Kravitz' cheek _(and those feathers, holy shit)_. "I wouldn't pressure you."

Kravitz swallowed, eyes wide. "I would enjoy a little pressure from you."

Before Taako had a chance to retort, the song came to an end. It was only then that Taako realized that he and Kravitz danced through three songs. Nobody was in line to try and take Kravitz, everyone still afraid of him and his bargain.

"I should..." Kravitz looked around the hall, slow and disappointed. "Pick another partner."

Taako grinned, kept a tight hold on his dance partner. "What if I just hogged you for the entire night?"

"You have no idea how enticing that offer is to me." Kravitz offered a warm smile and a soft brush of hands against Taako's back, reluctant to pull away. "But it would look bad if I did that. May I find you again in an hour?"

"Don't even have to ask," he said, not moving. If Kravitz wanted to leave, he'd have to forcibly deny Taako contact. "I'll be out on the balcony."

"Wonderful." Kravitz let go of him and turned to search for another partner. Taako dropped his shoulders at the loss of the only partner in the hall he was interested in. He figured he could make his way to the balcony and wait for an hour, but then a pair of hands grabbed his with the force of an elephant's step.

He turned around to see Lup, barely masking her anger. She gave him no warning before launching him into one of their old techniques. When they used to sneak into fancy parties and steal all the silverware, they had a couple of dances they knew off the top of their head. Waltz was not one of them (they didn't sneak into parties _that_ fancy), but they could do a pretty good tango.

Although, doing tango to waltz music looked off. All eyes were on Taako again, but for an entirely different reason. It hardly mattered, because Lup was trying to do more than dance. Her motions were snappier than usual, more frustrated. She kept moving the two of them away from the center of the hall, more to the edge of the dance floor. Probably trying to get the two of them out in private without making a scene. Two could play at that game, he thought. Taako pulled her off course a few times, doing whatever he could to get them back towards the center of the hall. As soon as the song was over, he could run off and get away. Shaking Lup away would be easy.

"What the fuck are you doing?" she asked, once she noticed what game Taako was getting at.

"I could ask you the same thing," he said, whispering through grit teeth. "Didn't your mother ever tell you not to eavesdrop?"

Lup rolled her eyes and smacked him in the arm. "Didn't your mother ever tell _you_   not to jump into marriage death traps?"

"Geez, how much did you hear?"

"I heard enough." Lup looked off to the buffet and saw Davenport and Barry talking. She pulled their dance over towards them. "I'm snitching on you."

Taako used all his strength (not a lot) and stubbornness (practically infinite) to pull Lup back to the center of the dance floor. "Not unless he proposes to me first."

"Are you _trying_ to kill me?" Her grip on him tightened, threatening to cut off his circulation.

"I'm _trying_ to get the Light." Taako coughed, spitting out the next part in a half-whisper, hoping Lup wouldn't hear. "The whole marriage thing is a bonus."

"Holy shit, you're serious." Lup's expression softened into something more concerned. She still tried to steer Taako away, but was nicer about it. _"Stop_ this. It's not good for you."

"You wouldn't know," he said, pulling her more forcefully.

"And you wouldn't know, either." She stopped dancing, both hands on his shoulders. Concerned. "I'm just trying to help."

"Then let me _have this, Lup!"_ That...came out louder than Taako thought it would. The whole hall's eyes were on him again, but for an entirely different reason. "Just because you're dragging your feet with someone that actually fucking remembers you year to year doesn't mean _I've_ got to do the same!" Taako and Lup both froze, taken off guard by Taako's words. Sure, he and Lup had late night conversations about her weird crush, but that's where it ended. She never wanted to talk about it sober or during the day. And it was hella shitty for him to just...use that in an argument. Taako's ears lowered as far as they could go and he stepped forward, ready to apologize but unable to find the right words to do so. "I--uh--"

"No." Lup let go of her brother's hands, dejected. Taako got the feeling that he messed up big time. "It's fine. I'm being dumb."

"Lup--"

"Go have fun. I'm heading back to the ship." She turned around and headed for the edge of the hall.

Taako followed her. Magnus, Barry, and Lucretia gave him worried looks as he ran past, and he hoped that Davenport and Merle wouldn't see this. They'd never stop asking questions. He managed to catch her once she made it off the dance floor. "Lup, c'mon--"

"That hurt." Her voice was colder than he'd heard in a while.

"I know, 'm sorry." Taako didn't explicitly apologize very often, so the words made her turn to look at him. He wrung his hands together. It wasn't normal for him to be so apologetic, but he couldn't stand the nasty shit he just said to Lup. He had to fix this. "I, uh--wasn't thinking very hard. Said a shitty thing."

Lup let out a breath. "I just--Listen, I don't even mind about the whole...that thing you said about _my_ love life, 'cause, I actually don't care too much about that. I know I'm being dumb but it's...difficult." Her arms were trembling, and that wasn't normal for her at all. She was always stronger than him. "You just get reaped all the time, and, I don't get a lot of _time_ with you anymore and." Lup's voice went into a pitch he didn't hear too often. "And. I really think it's not good for you. I'm worried."

Taako shook his head, knowing he needed to stay calm for the both of them. "Nothing bad has happened in a while."

She whined. "He threw you into the Stockade _last year."_  

"I'm getting used to ghost jail," he said, hoping a little joke would blow this all over.

It didn't. It made Lup's face screw up tighter. "I hate that," she said, her hands clutched to her own chest. "You shouldn't be dying so much. If Kravitz wasn't here you'd die half as much. Maybe less." Her eyes scrunched together tight, still open but barely. Her voice came out too high and too weak, and she barely managed to squeak out an, "I miss you," before tears started to fall down.

Lup never cried in public. Taako didn't either, but only because she was smart enough to pull him into a private space before he popped off. Even though she was friendly with the crew, she hadn't gotten to the point where she could take comfort in them like this--she had a persona to keep up with, too, as much as the crew seemed to forget. Taako was the only person who saw this. So of course he dropped everything to help her out. That was his job. Especially since it was his fault.

"Shit--" He grabbed her by both arms and took her to a less-trafficked corner of the hall. Right under some stairs. "No, no no no, fuck, come here--"

She followed him without any resistance, and collapsed into his arms as soon as they were out of sight. Lup held onto him like her life depended on it. Got snot and tears all over the shoulder of his dress, but that didn't matter anymore. He'd bounce on this party if she asked him to. He already decided that. Sure, it'd be fun to be with Kravitz this year, but he wasn't going to abandon his sister. Lup cried for fifteen minutes, and nobody came to check on them in the space under the stairs.

Lup looked up, tears still coming down in a storm, and watched Taako for a few long moments. It felt important.

"I'm really in trou--trouble if--if _you're_ the mature one," she said, still in a mess of hiccups and tears.

"I'm the one that yelled." Taako wiped off a weird goopy bit of tears off her cheek with his sleeve. "Sorry."

"You _ap--apologized already."_ Lup scrubbed at her face, too. It was a good thing she opted out of makeup for the evening (when they found out what the mascara was made of, they both passed on the cosmetics), or else her face would be all black. "Fuh-fuck, this is ugly."

Taako hugged her. "Should'a told me you were bothered that I was dying so much."

"Thought I didn't have to." She clung to him like flour on chicken, ready to be fried. Still crying, but it wasn't overwhelming her anymore. "Buh--but I guess I did. I'm. I dunno."

"Dunno what?"

"I thought you'd drop Kravitz by now." Lup looked away from him, guilty at her own words. "It's--fine that you haven't, I just. Thought you would have."

"I thought I would have, too," he said, and it was a half truth. He didn't expect to keep falling in love with him over and over again. He thought he'd get bored with the shallow dates he had with Kravitz, how it could never go any deeper than nine or ten months. He thought it'd be a passing fancy. Now thoughts of Kravitz invaded his brain even on years when they didn't date. "Do you want me to?"

"What?"

"Stop going after him." Taako frowned. He offered this to her, sure, but he didn't like it. "Y'know, 'cause, if you wanted me to I would."

And that was the truth. Even though he loved Kravitz and enjoyed being with him every year he could get his hands on him, Lup was there first. She had dibs on Taako's heart. Hell, she probably _was_ his heart. Taako could get over Kravitz. It would take a while, but he'd be able to do it in a couple years if he really tried. He'd burn the shirts, unload the box of keepsakes into the Hunger's goo. He was physically and mentally incapable of letting go of his sister. That was probably unhealthy. Did Taako care? No.

Lup had a look on her face, like she was actually contemplating the idea. He didn't want her to say yes, hoped she'd say no, wanted her blessing to keep going at this. But if it hurt her, he'd stop it. No questions asked, minimal whining.

After an eternity, she looked to the ground and said, "I couldn't ask you to do that."

He frowned. "You could. If you wanted."

She shook her head. "I won't."

"Just--say it." Taako held her tighter, accusatory. "It bothers you."

"No." Lup pushed him until he loosened his grip. Determined. "Taako, I--I couldn't imagine doing that to you. I--don't like it, but, you--you're. Happy. When you get a year." She softened up, smiling even though there were still sticky and dry tears all down her face. "The best I can do is help you not get trapped on all the other years, but I'm not going to screw you over just because _I_ don't like it. You wouldn't make me perma-dump a dude if I was in the same position."

Taako pushed away the intense wash of guilt that flew over him as he remembered the _one_ moment he thought to sabotage her and Barry. Fuck. That was going to haunt him forever, wasn't it? Damn it.

"So, it's cool?"

"It's cool." Lup took in a sharp breath, scrubbed more tears out of her face, and shoved Taako in the shoulders. "I'm fine. Go ahead, do what you have to."

Taako didn't let go of her. He could be stubborn when he wanted to. "You don't look fine."

"Well, I--I guess I'm not." Lup fell back onto him, knocking her forehead into his shoulder. "I--yeah, I'm not. Doing too well. But, I guess, if this is a chance for you to get the Light, that's cool." She took another long breath and pulled her head up to Taako's level. Squeezed out a smile. "I'll be okay. You'll come back."

"You sure you'll be...good? This year?" Taako made his face less serious, tried to lighten the mood a bit. Shit got dark for a second there. "'Cause if you're not, I'll drop the whole thing. Not--uh, not Kravitz in general, but, if you don't like _this_ situation, like, this year, I won't do it. We can bail."

"You'll be safe in the Astral plane, right?" she asked, and Taako nodded. Lup thought for a couple moments, her fingers drumming on the edge of his shoulders. "Then, yeah. It's fine."

"Are you su--"

"I don't say things I don't mean." Lup smiled, wiping the rest of the wet from her face. All done venting, it seemed. "If you really think this could get us the Light, then. Do it. The rest of us can have another vacation."

"Sorry for blowin' up." He hugged her again. "That's your job."

"Yeah, I'm suing you for copyright infringement." Lup laughed, held him tight, and just stood there for a moment. She spoke into the empty space behind his head. "I just don't know what I'll do when you're gone."

"Well." Taako nudged his head towards the ball, out to another empty corner where Barry stood. "Nobody's asked Barold to dance."

"You're right. I should fix that." Lup let go of him and fixed her dress. She looked towards Barry, and then back to Taako one last time. "This is gonna be gross and off-brand, but, you know I love you, right?"

"Of course." Taako adjusted his collar. "Same goes to you."

"No, if you're going to leave me for a year, I need the full thing." She smirked, both hands on her hips. "Gotta pay the gross sibling word tax."

"Ugh, fine, you're a good sister and I love you." Taako said it all in a rush, and then stuck out his tongue for good measure. "I'm gonna have to take a fucking shower with all this sap you've got on me."

She laughed again, mood brightened. "Go be unnecessarily gay, you doofus."

Taako waved, and ran to the stairs. "It's all I know how to do."

They watched each other as they both went to their destinations. Taako made sure she actually asked Barry to dance (how she could get shy next to this dude, he'd never understand) before walking out the balcony doors. His conversation with Lup went long, but it couldn't have been more than a half hour. He still had time before Kravitz was supposed to show up.

It was already pitch dark night. The constellations on this plane were different from his homeworld, and every other plane they visited. Taako watched them and made up shapes of his own, since constellations never looked like what they were supposed to be anyway. Just a little mental exercise to pass the time before Kravitz showed up. 

If he was going to show up.

It'd be really disappointing if he had that whole soul-bearing conversation with Lup only for Kravitz to pick another man. But eventually, Taako heard footsteps behind him and the creak of a too-fancy glass door. All his nerves drifted away.

"You didn't back out," he said, turning his head to Kravitz. Gave him his best smile.

"Everyone else is afraid of me." Kravitz joined him at the railing, leaning both arms on it. Now that they were out of the public eye, he softened up. Wasn't as formal or stuffy. "And I couldn't stop thinking of you."

"Hmm." Taako tilted his head. "Are you any closer to choosing someone?"

Kravitz removed the glove from his left hand and extended his bare palm to Taako. "Would you be open for the position?"

"I was hoping you'd ask that." Taako took Kravitz' hand, watched as their fingers laced together.

"I could tell." Kravitz smiled wide and brought Taako up close. "I knew I needed to ask you as soon as I laid my eyes on you."

"I had a feeling that was the case." Taako looped his arm around Kravitz' shoulder and leaned in for a kiss, eyes closed. He stopped when he felt a faint pressure that didn't feel like Kravitz' lips, but like satin and ice.

"Not until the wedding," Kravitz said, soft, with a single finger pressed on Taako's lips. He frowned, watching Taako wistfully. "That's the tradition."

"I mean, nobody's watching." Taako tilted his head towards the door, speaking seriously. "It's cool if you don't want to, it's fine if _you_ like the tradition. But I wouldn't mind giving you a little sneak peek, if that's what you really wanted."

"May--maybe just once." Kravitz' composure shattered, his eyes fixated on Taako's lips. "So I'm not embarrassed to do it in front of a crowd."

"You got it." He grinned. "Just once."

Taako took Kravitz' face in his hands, giving him ample time to back out. When Kravitz leaned forward instead of away, Taako closed the distance and pressed their lips together. Kravitz made a few surprised noises against his lips, but settled down after a moment, getting the hang of the motions.

"You good?" Taako asked, still close but far enough away so Kravitz had space to think and breathe.

"Better than good," he said, and then pulled Taako in for another kiss. He always did that the first time Taako kissed him, and Taako would never get tired of that surprised enthusiasm.

* * *

"Still can't believe you're leaving us," Lup said, braiding his hair into intricate sections. The villagers offered to help Taako get ready for the wedding, but he insisted on staying alone with his sister. It took longer, but he preferred the quiet. And it let him get in some extra time with his sister before being whisked away for the year. He knew she was upset with the wedding, but they had their fight about it. She insisted that he should go through with it. Which would be fine if that was the end of it, but she kept complaining. And if Taako asked her again if she was okay, she'd just shake her head and say  _no, of course it is, it's for the Light._

Taako turned his head as far as he could to look at her. Wasn't very much. Lup had a tight hold on his skull. "It's not like I'm going to ghost jail."

"He seems fine this year, so I guess I can't really stop you." Lup tied off another section of his hair and tucked it into the braid collective forming on the top of his head. She was doing some intricate style that was only used for elven weddings on their homeworld, and while Taako appreciated the extra mile she went on this, he was forced to stay confined to a chair for three hours. At least the wedding was at midnight. "It's just--I really don't want you to leave."

"How else are we going to get the Light?"

"We could have found another way." Lup frowned. Taako saw it through the mirror, and didn't bother to hide the way his face fell when hers did. "I'll miss you," she said, quiet.

"I'll miss you too, Lup, I just--" Taako shut his mouth. Lup deserved an answer as to why exactly he was doing this, but. It was embarrassing. "I've got my reasons."

"And those are?"

"I'd be pissed off if he married another dude," he said, and Lup doubled over laughing. She combed out another section of his hair, taking herself out of the giggle fit. But Taako would be a liar if he said that was the only reason. And he promised Lup he wouldn't keep secrets from her anymore. He mumbled, hoping Lup wouldn't hear him."And, y'know, gods and goddesses recognize marriage. Maybe--maybe it'll stick through to the next year."

Lup blinked, caught off guard by his second answer. She continued working on his hair, holding back a smile. "Maybe it will." 

"Would you like him better if he actually remembered me?" Taako asked, trying to hide how afraid he was of the answer.

She watched him for a long moment, inspecting his face. Taako did his best to keep neutral, but he saw his own insecurities in the mirror crack through the facade. Lup would notice that, he knew. Her face softened. "I would." Lup squeezed his shoulder, offering a little bit of comfort. "I don't think that's going to happen, though."

Taako only hummed. He wasn't sure if he could tell her about his and Barry's arrangement yet. Maybe he'd let it slip after the two of them actually got together. Maybe she'd help if she was in a relationship--she could see why this was so important to him if she was with someone. But he wouldn't worry about that now, because it seemed like the Barry and Lup were still going to (frustratingly) drag their feet. Even after they danced at the ball.

"If he remembered you for real," she asked, in the quietest voice Taako had ever heard from her, "would you marry him for real?"

He stayed quiet for a few minutes, thinking through the question. _Would he?_ Sure, Kravitz was a good boyfriend when he could get him, and Taako wasn't getting tired of him, but would he want to get _married?_

The image was--good. Better than good. Getting married to a Kravitz that knew him and loved him was a very appealing image. As much as Taako tried to push the feeling away, he wanted to have this. He had samples of Kravitz, open and loving, and wanted that for real--wanted that for longer than a year. Longer than a century, probably. Taako never thought he'd be the type to want something so sappy, but here he was. And it wasn't so bad.

But could he say that to Lup?

She'd worry. She might support him, sure, but he knew she'd get overprotective. Lup might not try to separate him and Kravitz, but she'd be a lot more cautious. Taako would be subjected to endless lines of questions, or shitty advice, or mountains of other things he didn't want. He knew she would mean well, but neither of them had a _good_   relationship before. Taako was more stable than she was (probably). She didn't know what she was talking about.

"Nah, I'm just having fun," he said, hating himself for lying to his sister again.

She seemed to approve of that answer, and got back to braiding.

* * *

Kravitz insisted on carrying Taako from the reception to the Astral plane. 

Once they were alone, Kravitz couldn't stop himself from kissing Taako. Understandable--this plane had some whack ethics regarding what's allowed to be done before marriage. Figures that this guy was a little pent up. And Taako was _not_ complaining, not even a little bit. Taako kissed him slow and sweet, smiled hard into it and held himself tight against Kravitz. The ceremony got him a little more sappy than usual. The image of Kravitz at the altar was going to stick in Taako's head for a long time. If Kravitz remembered him, he would have watched Taako go down the aisle with more fondness and admiration than this new Kravitz did, but Taako's imagination ran with it.

They had the ceremony at midnight, as was the Raven Queen's tradition. She planned the whole thing, really, so Taako and Kravitz just had to show up. Taako would have liked to do some planning on his own, but she got the whole thing done in a day, so he couldn't complain. She really needed Kravitz hitched for some reason and Taako wasn't going to ask questions. He just enjoyed the full moon reflected in the lake, and the soft hands that held his as the goddess read vows over their head. Kravitz exchanged red gloves for black ones, recited a few lines to be fully outfitted into the Queen's service. Taako watched like a spectator, knowing that this was mostly a political thing this plane required Kravitz to do, but it was nice to play pretend.

If Barry could access Kravitz' memories, it'd be a hell of a sight to see him on an altar for real.

But it was nice to have this image to fuel Taako's fantasies for a while.

"So, this is your place," Taako said once Kravitz lowered him back to a standing position, teasing and playful.

"Yes." Kravitz kissed him one more time, the feathers on his jaw brushing against Taako's face. "Although, it's our place now."

"Sweet." Taako stayed close to him, but took a quick look around the home. It was surprisingly normal, a little plain. Or, at least plain for someone like Kravitz. The furniture was older and very goth, but it didn't seem like Kravitz got much use out of it. The walls were painted black, except for one stretch of wallpaper in the living room that was silver and violet. The only signs of life (or, death) in the home were a small pile of clothes that needed to be washed and a few books laid out on the coffee table, half read.

"I haven't been here for very long, so I haven't gotten to put many personal touches in here." Kravitz stepped behind Taako and laid both hands on his shoulders. He pressed his cheek against Taako's and smiled. "We can make it a little more homey together."

Taako's heart fluttered from the prospect of making a _home_ with Kravitz, even if only for a little while. Maybe one day when the Hunger was gone and everything was over, he'd be able to do it for longer, but...he'd take this. This could be fun. Taako walked farther into the home, hands running over every surface with reverence. He looked off to the left and found a small kitchen in a nook in the wall.

"Do I, uh, do I have to eat?" Taako asked, head turning back to Kravitz. "Is that something we have to do?"

"It's not necessary, but it's nice to conjure up some food to experience the sensation sometimes."  Kravitz opened a cupboard, showing how empty it was. Dude didn't even have plates. "I'm not sure why there's a kitchen here. I've never used it."

"That's perfect." Taako ran his hands along the counter, winking at Kravitz. "I'll make you dinner sometime."

Kravitz stood on the other side of the counter and watched Taako with loving eyes. "You know how to cook?"

"I'm a chef."

"Why am I not surprised?" Kravitz leaned forward, trying to catch Taako in a kiss over the counter. Taako humored him, gave him a little one on the nose. Kravitz _beamed_ in response. "I don't know what this is, but I feel like I know you." He held out a hand across the counter, new black gloves shimmering in the low light. "And, I don't. But I'd like to start learning."

"Well, you've got a couple days off work, don't you?" Taako took Kravitz' hand in his. It wasn't as cold as it was the first time. Maybe because Taako was dead, too. Didn't matter. "We can start now."

Kravitz rounded the counter and kissed Taako properly. They made their way into the living room, hands wandering around shoulders and backs, not going anywhere scandalous but still hungry for contact.

The two found their way to the sofa, laughing and whispering hushed affirmations of love in between each other. Kravitz couldn't possibly be in love with him yet, was mostly saying those things simply because he and Taako were newlyweds. But Taako felt each one, finally had a private outlet to let all of his feelings free. Maybe he was being too affectionate, but did that really matter when the rest of the crew wasn't watching over his shoulder?

He needed to get all of this out of his system.

Taako tore his eyes away from Kravitz long enough to examine the living room. No television, that hadn't been invented yet, but there was a homey little hearth, a set of bookshelves, and a few musical instruments lying about. Taako didn't own any himself, but he saw previous Kravitzes play when they had the chance. It was one of his rarer traits. Only appeared when he was really nice or had a lot of free time. Taako also saw a package on the coffee table, previously obscured by the sofa.

"What's this?" he asked, leaning away from Kravitz to check the tag.

"I'm not sure." Kravitz nudged Taako out of his lap and reached for the package. A black wicker basket wrapped in a nice cloth. Kravitz untied the cloth and a few things laid inside: a good bottle of champagne, a few sweets, a card, and a few other things hidden underneath. Kravitz opened the card and read it. "It seems as if the Queen has left us a present."

"This is _nice_ champagne," Taako said, reaching for the bottle. He recognized this one from their home planet, very old and very rare. He only saw it once, in a dusty liquor cabinet in the first house he and Lup robbed.

"It is." Kravitz held Taako's hands over the bottle and smiled at him, soft and questioning. "Would you like to have some while we get to know each other?"

 _"Fuck,_ yes." Taako leaned forward and kissed him quick, just because he could.

Kravitz pulled away and grinned. "I think I have a few glasses in one of the cupboards. Could you grab a couple while I get this opened?"

"Sure." Taako launched himself off of the sofa and made his way back to the kitchen.

"Thank you, m--k--um--" Kravitz' hands stuttered on the bottle and he refused to look Taako in the eye. "...dear."

Taako stopped in his tracks. Was he embarrassed to call Taako _dear?_ That was cute. He laughed to himself as he searched in the cupboards. He did find a set of wine glasses, and while Taako would have preferred champagne flutes, it'd have to do. This guy didn't have much, he was lucky to find any container at all. Taako grabbed two glasses and made his way back to Kravitz, who just popped the cork on the champagne.

"Not even going to chill it?" he asked, sitting back down.

"You might not have noticed, but you're freezing." Kravitz poured into one of the glasses in Taako's hands. "Being dead takes some getting used to."

"Wait a minute, are you suggesting that I use my _mouth_ to chill this down?"

"It's what I've been doing," Kravitz said, pouring into the second glass. He set the bottle down on the table and Taako handed him one of the spare glasses. "Temperature is a funny thing when you're dead, h--tr-- _dear."_

Taako smiled into the rim of his glass, cozying up next to Kravitz. "Already going for the pet names, _darling?"_

"I uh--yes, I feel like it fits." Kravitz coughed, suddenly very interested in his drink. He looked like he had something more to say, but Taako took mercy on him and didn't pry. "Does it make you uncomfortable?"

"No, it's just kind of weird to hear it exclusively." Taako took a sip of the champagne, and it was cool against his lips. He wasn't even going to guess how that worked. Tasted good, though. "Usually y--guys just like to, uh, go for the name this early in."

"Well, we _are_ married." Kravitz watched him fondly and moved a bit of hair behind Taako's ear. "You can call me whatever you like."

"You'll say it sometimes, right?" he asked, blurting it out louder than he meant. Even though he was dead and cold, a flash of hot shame fell over his face. Fuck. That sounded so desperate. He started backpedaling. "I mean, listen, I love the--the other ones, but, uh, your voice is kind of--"  Taako whined, giving up. "I'd just like to hear it."

"Oh." Kravitz swallowed some of his drink, eyes wide. Nervous. "O-of course, d--ru--pr--um, dear."

Something else was going on, there.

Taako squinted, inspecting Kravitz. Flustered every time he tried to call him dear. Taako didn't need to roll high on his insight check to figure out what was going on--Kravitz made it painfully obvious.

"...Did you forget my name?"

"I, uh--" Kravitz let out a long breath that he must have been holding for a while. "I didn't actually hear you very clearly the first time you said it, and, then I was too starstruck on the altar, and then I figured it would be too awkward to, um, ask you your name again, and I--" He covered his face with one of his arms, letting out a high whine. "I'm sorry."

He burst into laughter, going at it so hard he started crying. Kravitz couldn't help but join in too, probably out of nerves. Taako wiped his face off, a few laughs still shuddering out of him. "Dude, it's cool. You've known me for a day and a half." Taako laid a hand on his shoulder, moving it downwards until his fingers brushed Kravitz' forearm. "It's Taako."

"Taako." Kravitz lit up, and the name was perfect in his voice. "That's beautiful."

That sounded fake--nothing about his name was pretty--but Taako chose not to tease him on it. "Kravitz isn't bad either."

He hummed in response and moved forward to kiss Taako, placing both of their glasses on the table. Good thing he wasn't shy about it. When it was obvious that this plane was more conservative than most, Taako wondered if Kravitz would be shy of physical contact. But, no, he was out in full force. He seemed a bit starved of contact, really, and Taako was more than happy to supply relief for that. The two pulled away and stared for a moment. Taako wondered if Kravitz got that same soul-pulling sensation he'd talked about before, or if he was just drunk off of the contact. He took a minute to admire this year's Kravitz. The feathers reminded him of first year Kravitz. He never had feathers in his not-quite-human form, but it was difficult to think of feathers and not connect that to first Kravitz. 

He still missed first Kravitz the most.

"These are nice," Taako said, lazily dragging a finger through the feathers on Kravitz' jaw.

Kravitz tensed up, eyes wide. "Oh, that's--"

Immediately, Taako withdrew his hand. "Can't touch them?"

"No, you can, _please,_ it's just--" Kravitz gripped his hand and gently put it back in place, offering a small smile to Taako. "I wasn't expecting it to feel so nice."

"Good, 'cause I'm about to really get into these." Taako ran his fingers along the feathers on his hairline, chuckling at how Kravitz melted under the attention. "Do you have any more? Or is it just the ones on the face?"

"There are some on my chest, and--" Kravitz froze, refusing to look Taako in the eye. "Uh. A few other places."

 _"Nice."_ Hopefully, Taako would get to check those out later. He was pretty content with where they were now, though. Except, now that he was thinking about the feathers... "You can say no, but can I, uh, touch the ones on your chest while we talk?"

Kravitz' eyes widened and he took off his suit jacket, ignoring Taako's wheezing laughter. He was too nervous to remove the whole shirt, but he undid the first few buttons so Taako could get his fingers in there. Taako pulled him to lay on his chest until he had Kravitz in his lap. Kravitz held his champagne and let out a sound that was oddly similar to a chirp when Taako ran his fingers in his chest feathers. Taako had one hand on his chest and one on his glass, moving every once in a while to fill both of their glasses.

And they talked. For a long time. Not about anything deep, nothing Taako hadn't already heard before. It was still nice. Taako got lost in the sound of Kravitz' voice a few times. He liked it when he was quiet and tired and private. Kravitz asked a lot of questions, was fascinated by all the answers. Taako wasn't sure how much time passed that night, just drinking and talking and cuddling with him, but he enjoyed every second of it.

"Do we have to sleep?" he asked, once he saw Kravitz dozing off.

"Not normally," Kravitz said, and then yawned. He sat up, and Taako begrudgingly took his fingers off of his chest. "But I'm exhausted. Would you like to come to bed?"

"To bed, or _to bed?"_

"I--" A flash of red colored Kravitz' already dark skin. He smiled, and his voice cracked along the edges when he spoke. "How about later? I'm not--I would prefer to do that when we haven't been drinking."

"Oh, right." Taako looked down at his empty glass. One bottle of champagne between two people wasn't enough to get either of them drunk, but he appreciated that Kravitz cared enough to think about that. "Hey, that's cool. I'm pretty tired, too."

"Should I carry you there?"

"Is that an option?" Taako grinned. Instead of answering, Kravitz scooped him up into his arms again with a chuckle. Taako kissed all over his cheeks and neck, laughing along. _"Hell_ yeah, love this."

Kravitz laughed louder, holding Taako firmly in his arms as he took him to bed. This was going to be a great year.

* * *

Things settled into a predictable pattern. 

Kravitz would come home from work (he had surprisingly stable work hours--Taako figured it was because he had so many coworkers), Taako would conjure up some crazily elaborate dinner just for fun, they would eat and talk and find different ways to pass the time together. Kravitz played his instruments a lot. The two would go on walks in the Astral plane. They'd show spells to each other and Kravitz would bring Taako old magic tomes home so they could look through them together. Taako would write letters for Kravitz to deliver to the crew on the Material plane. Sometimes they'd indulge in sleep, but Kravitz usually preferred to stay awake to have more time with Taako.

Taako would give him a kiss goodbye every day before work and welcome him home with another one when the day passed. They spent quiet hours just...together, on the sofa, connected by one hand or the brush of a leg as they read separate books, enjoying the quiet. Kravitz became more comfortable with him, not as nervous or skittish.

The whole thing was horribly domestic and Taako hated how much he loved it. The crew would laugh at him if they saw this. He should have been embarrassed at how easily and happily he allowed himself to be tied down.

But could he even be called _tied down_ if that's what he wanted? If he liked this so much?

One morning halfway through the year they woke up, groggy but content. Kravitz had a day off, and Taako planned on monopolizing all his free time. Not that Kravitz would complain. Knowing him, he probably had some outing planned for the two of them. He always worried that Taako felt too cooped up in the home. And sometimes he did. But he'd always remedy that by exploring the Astral plane on his own. He didn't need Kravitz to baby him.

He'd much rather have Kravitz at home, like this, than have Kravitz frantically scrambling to entertain him. He liked sleeping up close to him at night, when they chose to sleep. Liked these quiet moments where he could examine every millimeter of Kravitz' face and commit it to memory. Liked the times he could inspect the changes he did take from year to year. His race was the most obvious change, and also the feathers, but Taako liked to keep track of the more subtle differences. Magnus started to notice a pattern--every plane they went to, Kravitz fit whatever the inhabitants considered the most attractive. It meant Kravitz varied, but Taako liked every Kravitz he encountered. This year, he wasn't as tall as he was before and kept some extra weight. It meant that Taako didn't have to strain upwards to kiss him and he was nice to cuddle up to at night.

He saw the tattoo once every few years. Since cycle seventeen, there were now two pink, three orange, and five teal new dots. The most recent one was teal. He didn't know why new red, blue, white, green, or yellow dots didn't show up anymore. It was just pink, orange, and teal now. Prettier, he thought, with all the dots. New dots showed up on the second line now, not the first--that one kept the original twenty-five dots. Taako traced the lines and circles with his fingers, and Kravitz never brought it up. Taako knew it confused him to speak about it, and he wouldn't get new information out of it, so he stopped questioning it. Just wrote down the changes for him and Barry to study later. 

Usually, when Taako took the time to inspect every inch of Kravitz, his husband would laugh and bring him close. They'd start the day and everything would be great. But today, Kravitz didn't move to hug him. He stayed silent for a very long time. Taako would be worried if he wasn't so content to trace his fingers along every available surface of Kravitz. If he had a problem, he'd say it.

And soon enough, he did.

"I can't believe you're alright with...this," Kravitz said, out of the blue, eyes on the ceiling.

"Huh?" Taako's fingers stopped on Kravitz' shoulder, where he'd been mapping out all the stressed knots in the muscle.  

Kravitz turned on his side to face Taako. "Everything you've told me about your home, this doesn't seem like it should be normal for you."

"So? Taako's a free spirit." He kissed Kravitz' jaw and smiled up at him, hoping he'd go to sleep instead of worrying about whatever the fuck this was. "An edge case."

"That's why it's so weird that you're here." Kravitz didn't relax, but didn't pull away, either. "I can't imagine someone like you being okay with staying as a househusband."

"Eh." Taako shrugged, moving in closer to Kravitz, as comforting as possible. This was some kind of insecurity, and Kravitz was one of the few people Taako cared enough about to _want_ to help fix this problem. Talking through things was not his first instinct, but it was easy to do with Kravitz. "Not where I thought I'd end up, but I'm digging it."

"You're not bored?"

"Nah, when you leave for work I just go look at the sea." Taako ran his fingers through the feathers on Kravitz' chest, an absentminded action that became second nature after months of this life. Kravitz liked it when Taako smoothed out the feathers and put them in their right place. Taako laughed at him, said it was weird that his husband wanted to be _groomed,_ but still did it anyway. "Also there's a bunch of other spouses floating around, 's not like I'm the only one that exists."

"What about me?" Kravitz held a hand onto Taako's back, needing more contact. "Are you getting tired of me?"

"Krav, if you're trying to get at something, you should fucking say it." Taako cuddled up closer, scowling up at him. "Cha'boy's not a mind reader."

Kravitz sighed and covered his face with an arm. "I feel like I've tied you down."

And wasn't that a heartbreaking thing to hear out of his husband's voice? Especially since it was _wrong--_ Taako didn't know why he liked this, but he did, and he wanted to continue. Preferably not running away from the Hunger, and preferably not dead, with the ability to see his sister and friends on a regular basis. But this was a fun test run. He'd do it again.

"Doesn't feel that way to me," he said, hating that it didn't sound genuine. He was telling the truth.

"It may feel like that in a year." Kravitz looked away. "In five years." He closed his eyes and let out a breath. "In a century."

Taako shook his head. "I don't see that happening."

"But--"

"Listen." Taako held onto Kravitz' chin and made him look at him. Had to hammer this idea into his thick skull. "I like this. I don't know why, but I do. Feels right, I guess." And then, quieter, "you're not trapping me."

"You're such a free spirit," Kravitz said, guilty.

"Just 'cause I--" Taako grit his teeth. _Whoops._ Almost said something a little too personal there. Had to reign _that_ in. Change the subject. "It's--it's not. A big deal. Let's...just, I'll go make breakfast. How's that?"

Now it was Kravitz' turn to be concerned. "Just because you what?"

"I had to," he said, unable to keep his thoughts to himself. He guessed it didn't matter--Kravitz _was_ his husband, and he wouldn't remember Taako's vulnerable moments next year anyway. "Lup an' I used to--uh--we had to pack our bags and move away. A lot. More than a couple times a year."

"And now you can't do that, because of me."

"Didn't do it 'cause it was fun." Taako ended it there. Kravitz looked at him, silently asking for more of an explanation, but Taako wasn't ready to unload all of that onto him. Kravitz seemed to get the picture. "I, uh--I like this. It's stable."

Kravitz finally cracked a smile. "Most elves don't like going domestic."

"This one does." Taako pointed his thumb to his chest and grinned. They both laughed. "I like this. I don't know why."

Kravitz stayed quiet for a long while before speaking again. Quiet, like he was afraid of what Taako would think. "I thought I would hate this, too. At least, at first."

"Yeah?" Taako's heart caught in his throat for a split second. "Wait, _I'm_   not tying you down, am I?"

"You couldn't if you tried." Kravitz smiled at him, soft and warm. He brought up his hand to rest into Taako's hair, fingers combing through. "I think I only like this because it's you."

"Sap," Taako said. The word could be applied to both of them.

"It's true!" Kravitz finaly relaxed, bringing Taako in closer to him. "I can't explain why I think that. It just feels obvious."

"So you're good?"

"Yes, I--um, thank you." He reached down to kiss the side of Taako's head. "I was overthinking things."

"It happens." Taako took the invitation to cuddle up closer to him, now that the serious air dissipated. "Happens to me all the time."

"What do you worry about?"

"You know." The fact that Kravitz would never be able to remember him. The idea that Kravitz wasn't the same person year to year. How Lup feels whenever he dies. "Just. Stuff."

"You can tell me, if it ever bothers you." Kravitz looked him right in the eye, genuine and bright and loving. "You know that, right?"

"Yeah." Taako climbed to straddle Kravitz, grinning. "But, you know what?"

"What?" he asked, although Taako suspected he knew the answer already.

"I think I'm done talking for now." Taako let his hand slide up Kravitz' thigh, raising his brows to make his intention as clear as possible. "Want to do something else?"

The enthusiastic and determined kiss he received was a more flattering answer than any words could be.

* * *

Kravitz barely got through an, "I'm home, Taako," before getting tackled in the door frame.

"Someone's excited to see me today," he said, laughing.

"You act like this is _new."_ Taako rolled his eyes and kissed Kravitz. "Been greeting you like this for months, not doing anything different."

Kravitz grabbed his face and kissed Taako square on the nose. "I missed you too." He hung his cloak on the coat rack and handed Taako a stack of letters. "I visited your ship today."

"Oh, dunk, thanks!" Taako grabbed the letters and counted them, grimacing when he only found six in his hands. "Who died?"

"Your captain." Kravitz held a comforting hand on his back, speaking with a soothing voice. "Barry tried to raise him, but there was an accident. You may be able to find him if you visit the Sea."

"Good idea." Taako thumbed through the envelopes until he came to the one with Lup's name signed on the top. Tiny, meek letters. Not like her at all. "Is Lup doing okay?"

"She's safe. I think she misses you." He kissed Taako on the forehead, trying to offer as many comforts as he could. "She lit up reading your letter. You're very lucky to have a sister like her."

"A'course, that goes without saying..." Taako would read her letter more carefully later, but he skimmed it right there to make sure she was _really_ okay. He didn't need her doing anything stupid in his absence. But, no, it seemed like she was just doing a bunch of weird ass science shit when he was gone. Good. He'd read over the rest of the letters later, but Lup's was the most important. "Made you dinner, by the way."

"Thank you." Kravitz smiled and walked into the kitchen, finding a larger spread than usual. "What's the occasion?"

Taako could have told him that he knew the year was coming to an end, that he knew he didn't have much more time with Kravitz. But he just offered a crooked smile and said, "just 'cause. Feel like I gotta feed you sometimes, y'know? You're all bones."

Kravitz laughed. Not the nervous polite laugh he used at the beginning of every year, but the full-bodied wheezing fit he used once he was comfortable with Taako. One of Taako's favorite sounds, but he had to work for it. Times like these reminded Taako that it would all be over too quickly, that he'd have to start back from square one again.

And he didn't want that.

He didn't want to have to walk on eggshells the first few weeks with Kravitz. He didn't want to start over from the beginning. He was done with first dates and first kisses and first nights together, but Kravitz needed that experience every time. Having a year with Kravitz as his husband only heightened that sense of frustration. It would all be gone in a moment. Not gone, but reset. Taako wasn't sure if that was better or worse than not having anything at all. He wanted to stay together with Kravitz, to keep this marriage and stay here--well, not _here,_ he'd prefer to be on the ship with his sister and friends. This year was great, but it wasn't enough.

Would it ever _be_   enough?

"Did you visit Barry?" Taako asked, elbows on the counter as he watched Kravitz fill a plate.

"I did. He took a look at my soul." Kravitz stacked his plate pretty high. Nice thing about being dead was that neither of them really got _full--_ and Kravitz was enthusiastic and vocal about his appreciation of Taako's cooking since the first time he had it. His full plate was one of Taako's most treasured compliments. "He's an apprentice to one of the world's most accredited necromancers."

Taako wrinkled his nose. "And he couldn't get Davenport back from the dead?"

"Something was messed up with your souls. It didn't feel like it was Barry's fault." Kravitz kissed Taako on his way to the kitchen table. "I remember we had trouble transferring you here, it must be some synching issue with your souls."

"Must be," he said, and sat across from Kravitz.

"You're not eating?" Kravitz gestured his fork towards the empty void where Taako's plate should have been.

"Not in the mood." Taako folded his hands and laid his chin on them, both eyes fixated on Kravitz. He needed to burn this image into his brain if Kravitz was going to leave soon. "Just...I just want to watch you do it."

Kravitz bit his lip, gripping his fork tight. "Is this some kind of fetish?"

"Can't a guy want to feed his husband without it being--" Taako paused, and then laughed, fist banging on the table. "You know what, I say that out loud, and it totally sounds like a fetish."

"It's not, is it?" Kravitz still wasn't eating, hovering his fork just above his plate. "It's fine if it is, but you have to tell me."

"It's not!"

"Sure it isn't," he said, and then ate a bread roll in (what was probably meant to be) a seductive fashion. It really wasn't Taako's thing, though, so he only laughed at it.

Taako kicked him under the table, smiling. "You're an ass."

"And you're stuck with me forever," he said, smiling and looping his foot around Taako's calf.

"Yeah," Taako said, hit again with the realization that this was almost over. "Forever."

Taako watched Kravitz eat, they talked, and it was a normal day. Taako knew it would all be over soon, but that didn't stop him from enjoying the time he had. This had been one of his favorite years. The ability to sit and talk quietly, lovingly, without the fear of being reaped? These were treasured moments. Something Taako could look back on during the harder years. Still, he wasn't happy that it was going to fall apart soon.

And then the moment came.

Kravitz sat up straighter in his seat, staring off into space for a few moments. His silverware hit the table. "My Queen is calling me." 

Well, it couldn't have lasted forever. Taako sighed and picked up Kravitz' plate. If he had to stay in this house alone for the week, he didn't want ghost flies attracted to the table.

But then an idea popped into his head.

Maybe Taako could come with him.

Kravitz never took him into official business with his goddess, considering that Taako had so many deaths on his ledger. Except, this time was different. Now, Taako was Kravitz' husband. Now, necromancy was legal. Now, Taako could come with Kravitz. Maybe he'd be able to see what happened at the end of every year.

"Can I come with?" Taako asked, sounding as casual as possible.

"I don't see why not," he said, and shrugged. "The Queen would love for you to visit, I'm sure."

Taako had met the Raven Queen a few times, past the appearance she made at the beginning of the Black Glove's ball. Once at their wedding, a couple of conversations at the reception. When Taako went to explore the Astral plane on his own, he'd see her sometimes. She never spoke for very long, but she always asked how he was handling the change. The Queen was fond of him, apologetic at the state she forced him into.

Kravitz took Taako into the Queen's throne room. She towered above them, even larger than she was at the ball. This wasn't Taako's first time in the throne room, but he swore it was larger every time he visited. Always gaudily decorated, but Taako could get into this aesthetic. She let out a little trill once she saw Kravitz wasn't alone.

"Kravitz," she said, her voice echoing through every mind in the radius around her, "you brought your husband."

"Is that an issue, my Lady?"

"Not at all." The Queen waved at Taako, and even though she didn't have lips, Taako could swear she smiled. "When I say my servant's spouses are allowed to roam my plane as they please, I mean it." She quieted down and looked between the two of them, a grave tone in her voice. "But he will have to stay here when you leave."

Kravitz looked up at her nervously, clutching Taako's hand tighter. He wasn't sure what was going on, but he didn't like the tone of the Queen's voice. "When I leave? Are you sending me out on a mission?"

"No. Come here."

Kravitz approached the Raven Queen. He never disobeyed one of her orders, but Taako could see he was more apprehensive than usual. She was super vague here, did she always do that? Taako watched with a sharp eye. It was the end of the year and he needed to know what happened to Kravitz.

"Take off your left glove," she commanded, holding out one arm.

He obeyed, holding his discarded glove in his right hand, exposing his tattoo. He looked up at her, worried, but trusted her with every fiber of his being. The Raven Queen knelt down and rested her thumb(talon? talon thumb) on Kravitz' tattoo. A little spark of black dust erupted from the spot, and when the dust cleared, an extra pink dot sat in the tattoo's design. Kravitz immediately doubled over, clutching his head, and the Raven Queen held him close, as if she were comforting a child. Taako rushed forward a few steps before the Queen held out one finger, stopping him in his tracks.

Taako fought the urge to run up to Kravitz (he was stupid and irreverent, but even _he_ knew not to go against a goddess' word) and looked up at the Queen. "Uh, is he--uh, what's going on?"

"He was sent into my domain a little under a year ago with specific instructions. I'm only following them." She nestled her talons into his hair, soothing him. "I do not have all the information, all I know is that something distressing is going on."

They stayed like that for a few moments. Taako watched Kravitz, worried. He didn't like the horrible pain he saw on his face. It didn't last for very long, thankfully. Kravitz' head snapped up and he straightened his back. His eyes immediately went to Taako's. He ripped himself out of his goddess' grasp and grabbed Taako in a tight embrace.

 _"Taako--"_   Kravitz pulled back just far enough to look at Taako. Both his hands cupped Taako's face, and he watched him with the same fond smile he had accumulated this year, but _deeper_ somehow. "Taako, I-- _fuck,_ I knew you would be clever enough to come find me at the end of one year but I didn't think it'd be so _soon, I--"_

"What?" Taako blinked, not catching exactly what Kravitz was trying to say.

"Taako, I have a lot to say to you and not a lot of time to say it, but--" Kravitz kissed him, quick and nice and _not at all how the Kravitz of this plane kissed._   "I _do_ remember you, every year, just not until the end. And only for a few moments--"

As soon as Taako's brain caught up to the phrase _I do remember you,_ Taako launched himself on Kravitz, kissing him again. He was right, the man he kept falling in love with over and over again _was_ the same person, and he _remembered him_.  Taako willed himself not to burst into tears, but couldn't stop the maelstrom of repressed emotions he'd kept for the past thirty years from surfacing all at once.

Kravitz pried Taako off of him after a moment, "Taako, _please,_ I have so much to say--"

"I love you," he said, the words falling out automatically. He didn't have the energy to keep that shit under wraps. Kravitz was in front of him, _the same Kravitz he had every year, but with all his memories, and experiences, and he still loved Taako--_

Taako kissed him again, delighted when he felt a smile pressed on the other side.

Kravitz leaned away, but held him tight as he spoke. "I love you too, so much, _please--"_

"I love you and I was--so, so _fucking worried_ that you weren't the same person, and I--" Taako pressed his hands on Kravitz' shoulders, looking at him all around. Inspecting for errors. "You are, right? The same?"

"Yes, Taako, it's me every time." He held Taako's face in his hands again. "I'm _so sorry_ for the years I caused you pain, I'm bound to my Queen's orders and--" Kravitz looked over to the Raven Queen, and then back down to the floor. "I shouldn't be making excuses."

"It's _fine--"_ Taako pressed his face into the crook of Kravitz' neck for a moment, hiding a whine. "Just--glad you're here now."

"Well--uh, not for very long." Kravitz ran his thumbs along Taako's cheeks, an attempt to calm him. "Please, listen to me. Once I tell you what I need to, you can--do whatever you wish, but. I have a few things to explain. I don't have much time."

"Alright." Taako forced himself to pay attention, watching Kravitz' face intensely. Had to hold himself back from kissing all over that pretty face. "Yeah, okay, go for it."

"At the end of every year I'm transported out of this plane and into the next one," he said, calm but quick. Tried to get out as much information in as little time as possible. "Lady Istus decides the destination, I'm never sure where I'm going. But you've been there since...oh, dear--" Kravitz took a moment to think to himself. "Year fourteen?"

Taako's heart broke. "You did this for fourteen years before meeting up with me?"

"Yes. When I first met you, I didn't know if I'd ever see you again, I thought you had--" Kravitz paused, lost in some thought. Some bad memories were attached to that, but Taako knew there was a time and a place to ask about it, and this wasn't it. "I think there was some sort of error in how Istus sent me over, or maybe it's a way to minimize grief--I'm not sure of the specifics--but I can only regain memories for about ten minutes at the end of every year."

"So this--" Taako squeezed both of Kravitz' arms, looking up at him expectantly, "is just temporary?"

"I'm afraid so." Kravitz moved a strand of hair behind Taako's ear and kissed his forehead. "I can give you more details next year, but. Please, if you could figure out some sort of way I can message you at the end of the year, some deposit box I could put a letter through so it could reach you--"

Taako nodded so fast his brains could have fallen out. "Yeah. Yeah, of course, I'll, uh, I'll set something up."

"If you hand me instructions in an envelope of how to access it, I'll figure it out."

"Cool, uh--" Taako drummed his fingers on Kravitz' shoulders, waiting for him to say something else. "Anything else you needed to tell me, like, urgently?"

"No, that's mostly all I wanted to get o--" Kravitz' words were lost to the void as Taako reached up to kiss him again, needing solid proof that the man in front of him was real. Taako felt a giggle against his lips and then a genuine reciprocation. Having Kravitz here beside him, the Kravitz that remembered him and loved him was...so good. Indescribably good.

Eventually, Taako pulled away. He could kiss Kravitz most years, but this was the first time he could actually _talk_ to him, unfiltered. He needed to use this time wisely. "I'm so fucking glad it's you. That you're the same person."

"I hope that helps you, even a little bit." Kravitz frowned, holding Taako close. "I--I wish I could remember you more than ten minutes every year."

"I'll figure something out." Taako laughed, more out of nerves than humor. "That's what Barry's doing, at least."

"Is that why he keeps poking at my soul?" Kravitz twisted his face into a sour expression. Taako wasn't entirely sure what Barry ever did to Kravitz, but it must not have been super pleasant. "If his goal is to access my memory, please let him know I consent to anything that would let that happen--as long as my soul isn't destroyed and he allows me to come back here at the end of the year." Kravitz hugged him tight once more. "Even when I don't know you, I still love you. I hope you know that."

"What, am I distracting you from your job?"

"You do! You do, all the time." Kravitz laughed, his smile so warm and fond. He always looked at Taako fondly when they dated, but it was never this _deep._ This wasn't just a yearly fling, it was something more. Something much bigger. "This year was...amazing, Taako."

"Yeah." Taako couldn't help but smile back. "It was."

Some crazy portal appeared behind Kravitz before Taako could ask him any more questions. It didn't look anything like Kravitz' portals in various years. Not themed to the Raven Queen's aesthetic at all. It was lined with white and silver, and a blinding light shone through the other side. Reminded Taako of the bond engine. Kravitz looked from the portal to Taako, and then to the portal again.

"Looks like that's me," he said, a disappointed look on his face. Didn't want to let Taako out of his arms.

"You better write." Taako let Kravitz out of his grasp, but jumped up once more to kiss him quick. "I love you."

"I love you, too." Kravitz stepped closer to the portal, and then turned around, remembering something else. "Oh! And, Taako--please, feel free to date me when you can, you don't have to tell me you've met me before. I know I kind of--frightened you, in the second year. It's a whole lot less confusing on my end if I know as little as possible."

"Cool, good to know." It took a lot of restraint, but Taako pushed Kravitz towards the portal. If that was his only way out, he didn't want to take the chance of locking Kravitz in this plane forever. "You should go before the--the thing closes."

"I should." Kravitz stepped into the portal, turning around to speak to Taako once more. "I love you."

"Love you too."

Kravitz smiled. "I hope one day we can--"

\--and then the portal snapped shut, disappearing in a puff of silver dust.

Taako stood there, watching the empty space for an amount of time he didn't bother to keep track of. The initial buzz of excitement over this new information wore down. Sure, it was great that Kravitz knew who he was, but he wouldn't know in a week. He _did_ give Barry all the permission he needed to try and access his memory. And Taako could get to working on some kind of magic chest that they could both reach. That would mean that he could talk to Kravitz even on years they didn't date.

Was that a good thing?

First instinct was _yes, of course--_ second instinct, though, was no. No, this was _worse._ Would he be able to settle for a Kravitz that didn't remember him now that he knew what was waiting at the end of the year? And would he be able to write schmoopy letters to Kravitz on the years he mercilessly chased the crew? Would the letters be _enough?_   On the surface, it looked like a good deal, but the more Taako thought about it, the more it sounded like torture. Like a long distance relationship compressed by five tons of water. Like a summer romance movie's film got tangled with a horror movie's and kept replaying on loop. Like a reoccurring dream that feels too real and jolts the sleeper awake in a panicked sweat. He wanted to be with Kravitz, yes, but this was a logistic nightmare.

"I am not sure what just happened," the Raven Queen said, once she tired of Taako just standing in the middle of her hall like a dumbass, "but perhaps you should get back to your home."

"Right, uh--" Taako backed towards the door. "I'll, uh, just--sort of, y'know--"

"I hope things work out," she said, once he reached the door. "He was a very charming employee."

"Yeah, he is." Taako wasn't too sure how many questions he could ask a goddess (or, considering the situation, how much she'd actually know) so he just said his goodbyes and ran out the hall.

Taako found himself back at home, with Kravitz' plate still in the sink. Over the year, the two decorated their home to both of their tastes, and it wasn't as bland. Taako brought fancy pots and nice plates into the kitchen. Kravitz pulled his instruments into the living room and filled the place with sound. They both shoved books in the shelves and read all of them together, educating each other on subjects they both found interesting. They dressed the bed in pretty sheets and hung monogrammed towels in the bathroom.

This was _their_   home and Taako felt like an intruder standing there alone.

Shit, this complicated things.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> :) 
> 
> :) :) :) 
> 
> i've been sitting on this chapter for a few weeks and as soon as i wrote it i was so excited to post it! (if you're wondering why this information got dropped this early, it's because a good chunk of the later chapters are actually in faerun) (if you're scanning the text for secret clues as to how this all works, have fun!)
> 
> this is actually the first part of a 3 part arc in the story! next year is year 29. And the year after that is year 30. so............hold on to your hats, people!


	9. Cycle 29

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Taako forgets.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> content warning: hooooo boy this is. uh. probably one of the heaviest chapters of this fic. actually i think i can say this is the heaviest one. this chapter has severe isolation. a couple of scenes that are similar to disassociation (that isn't what is actually happening, but it's the easiest way to describe and warn you of it!). forced memory loss. removal of free will.
> 
> my beta and i are actually unsure of whether or not some events in this chapter could be considered torture! probably emotional torture, she says. also there's a part where some souls are taken apart which does not physically harm them but it's extremely unpleasant. 
> 
> this is a long warning but i'm not playing around with this chapter! in the event that you think you need to skip this chapter, that's fine! i will post a short synopsis of what was plot relevant in the start notes of the *next* chapter. stay safe! and to everyone else: enjoy???? if you can?????
> 
> [also this went up early because the archive is going down for maintenance at the time I usually post this tomorrow, so this is just for safety!]

As soon as Taako reformed, Lup hugged him tight enough to kill him again.

It was the twenty-ninth year, directly after Taako married Kravitz. A lot of information swam in his head at once--Kravitz _was,_ in fact, the same every year, he remembered Taako at the end of every year, and Taako needed to craft some kind of magic interdimensional mailbox to speak to him. But right now? Taako was _beaming,_ he was in a great mood. Sure, he felt overwhelmed with the information about Kravitz at first, but he had a week to stew on it. Now he was excited. Not to mention that he could see Lup again now. That always made things better.

The rest of the crew went to greet Davenport. Not because they were unhappy to see Taako, but Lup had a monopoly on him at the moment. Taako didn't mind. He hugged his sister tighter. He hadn't seen her since he got married to Kravitz. He missed her, too.

"Welcome back, _idiot,"_   she said, no malice in the words at all.

"Throw any parties without me?" Taako pulled back, grinning at her. "'Cause I'll sue you if you did."

Lup snorted and pulled him in for another hug. "No, but Magnus tried to eat the Light."

Taako turned his nose up at Magnus. "I didn't know vore was in Magnus' brand."

"It isn't!" Magnus let go of Davenport and stepped to Taako and Lup, defending himself. "And I didn't _try_ to eat the Light, it stayed in my stomach all the way out of the planar system!" He puffed his chest out, a little too proud of the statement.

"Fine." Lup rolled her eyes and pat Magnus on the back. "Magnus _succeeded_ in eating the Light."

"Maybe we can find some vore bards to sing his fuckin' praises later." Taako tore himself away from Lup and looked out one of the windows, watching the ground below. Hm. Seemed like this plane was well populated. Should be fun. "Wonder if they have vore legends in this plane."

"I take it back--it's _much_ better when you two are separated," Magnus said.

"Were you talking about me while I was gone?" Taako grinned wide, even if he felt kind of guilty for bailing on Lup like that. She looked okay, though, and hugged him again.

"It was hard not to." She pulled away and just stared at Taako's face for a moment. He'd call her out on it, but he didn't feel like teasing her today. She missed him for a whole year, he could try not to be too much of an ass right there. Lup needed positive time with her brother, after waiting out a whole year for him to come back. He already decided today was going to be just for her.

"Oh, hold on!" Taako's ears shot up as he remembered what he wanted to say. The rest of the crew needed to know about the Kravitz status--not just because he was Taako's boyfriend, but also since he was one of the few universal constants they ran into. "I got some news about Kravitz, h--"

"Mm-mm, come on." Lup shook her head, but still smiled. "You can gush and be gay later, I, uh. I'd like to catch up."

Taako was a bit disappointed that he didn't get to say what he needed (but, he guessed, that was fine--again, today was going to be for Lup). Still, he smiled and nodded. He could hold himself back for Lup. "Sure."

The rest of the crew went to speak with Davenport in the common area, leaving Taako and Lup to make the first meal of the plane in the kitchen. They opened up the aluminum curtain so that they could see the rest of the crew, but the wall was a nice separation between everyone. Taako got out vegetables and started chopping as Lup chattered on about what she did the previous year. Necromancy was more popular than evocation, so she picked up a few quick necromancy spells just for fun. It didn't come super easy to her, but she was Lup. She could do anything with enough elbow grease and a stubborn attitude.

Of course, even though Taako wasn't present, she thought about him. Had a few cookbooks stacked in the kitchen from the last plane. Offered to make some of the pastries with him later, even if she wasn't into baking as much as Taako was. She saved some men's dresses from the plane because Taako liked them so much, and even kept his wedding dress. Taako appreciated that. It _was_ pretty fucking awesome.

Taako's brain went on autopilot as he and Lup maneuvered through an old family recipe for vegetable stew. All he had to think about was Lup and the food, and both came so naturally to him that he could have done this while meditating.

That was probably why he didn't see the shadow until it was too late.

He barely registered the phrase _oh, Kravitz_ in his mind before his boyfriend, the love of his life, the man who would remember exactly what he was doing in eleven months, lunged for Lup. And, no matter how much Taako loved the guy, he knew Kravitz didn't know who they were at the moment, and he knew he had to stop him from taking his sister.

The plan he hastily crafted in a split second was to pull Lup backwards, allowing both of them to run away. He should have been able to manage that much, at least, considering his really high dexterity stat.

But, _no,_ he just _had_ to roll a critical failure.

Taako wasn't entirely sure how events shook out from there. He heard Lup hit the floor behind him. He felt an unimaginable chill creep over his skin. And, then, he only saw darkness.

* * *

Taako was in a cell.

That was a generous term for it. Whole thing was made out of some pitch-black material that felt magic, ice cold to the touch. Smaller than even the worst gas station bathroom stalls, only large enough for one person to stand. Couldn't even walk around. His skin was semi-transparent, and he was shackled to the walls in ghost chains on every limb. Not tightly--the chains all touched the ground, even the ones around his wrists. But if he ran out the cell, he would only get a few feet out the door. Speaking of the door, could it even be called that? It definitely looked like it was designed so that nobody could squeeze out. There was a little gate, only five bars across and reaching from the floor to the ceiling, and the rest of the front of the cell was just another part of the wall. Diagonal blinders stuck out from either side of the front, so Taako's visibility was _nothing._ He couldn't even see the person in the cell across from him--the cells were positioned so that all Taako could see were the blinders of the cells in front of him. No social interaction allowed. No space to sit, nothing to do, no bodily functions to worry about. 

Incredibly suffocating.

Taako knew this was the Stockade. That didn't need to be explained.

It kind of reminded him of the Stockade in cycle...fuck, which cycle? Usually he'd remember. He took a good mental log of them. And he looked back on the physical logs every few years. Elves had a wonderful memory (they had to, with how long they could go), so that wasn't an issue.

But, for some reason, Taako stood there scrunching his nose and snapping his fingers, trying to remember _which_ plane had the red sand prison.

Eh. He guessed it didn't matter.

He stood in the cell for what felt like days, but were probably hours, before someone passed by his cell. And then hordes of other people passed by, all in two straight lines. None were transparent, so Taako assumed they were all bounty hunters. They didn't say a word to him or to each other as they passed. Kept their chins high and their scythes to their side, pointed to the sky.

Fuck, there were so many of them. No wonder Kravitz came in a blink of an eye right after they touched down. This plane was _prepared_ for necromancers.

After a hundred or so bounty hunters passed, Taako saw a familiar face pass by.

"Kravitz!" he said in a whisper-shout. Maybe it was a bad idea to talk to him, but maybe Taako could try and change his mind about being a _dick._   He must have had some scrap of his former selves deep down in there, right? Kravitz had said that Taako distracted him on the job. If Taako could access that, maybe he could get out of this cell.

Kravitz stopped immediately, as soon as the word left Taako's mouth. He stood there. And he kept standing there, right in front of Taako's cell. He didn't look into the cell, just kept watching ahead. Some people in the line behind him groaned in annoyance and shouted at him, but he stayed there. Expressionless. Watching the space in front of him. Completely still. Eerily so. He didn't even  _react_ to the shouts and annoyances from behind him. Usually, he'd hate that sort of heckling.

Two bounty hunters pushed forward in the line to inspect Kravitz. One was a dragonborn, huge and towering over Kravitz. The other was a human with a tiny frame. The human reached into their cloak and produced something that looked like a remote.

"Alright, who said the sentry's keyword? I'm tellin' on you later," they said, fiddling with the remote. "It takes me _ages_ to get this thing up and running once you throw it off its course."

_Thing?_ If Taako had a physical body and any sense of muscular control, he'd deck this asshole right in the face. Sure, Kravitz acted a little robotic at the moment, but--that couldn't be right. He acted robotic before, like in cycle...whatever. Ugh, the stress must have made Taako forget what happened in each year.

"Nobody back here," said the person in line right behind Kravitz.

"I heard a sound from one of the cells," said the person behind them.

"That's just stupid. Why would someone in the cell know the sentry's keyword?" The dragonborn looked at both of the cells on either end of Taako, and then directly into his cell. "Did _you_ do that?"

"Do what?" Taako asked, breezy and nonchalant even though his (not physical) blood boiled.

The dragonborn kicked at Taako's bars. "There's no way you didn't hear me. I'm _right_ in front of your cell."

The human kept punching into the remote. "It's probably nothing, it broke down while trying to round up a few necromancers this morning."

Taako kept his thoughts to himself. He knew when an offhand comment could get him killed (or whatever the equivalent of that was in the Stockade). But if Kravitz reacted to Taako saying his name, he'd bet money on one of the crew members stalling him with his name on accident. Good. It meant that they had time to get away and hide safely. That also meant that Lup wouldn't come to break him out, so he knew he'd have to get creative here. On his own.

"Well, _did_ you say anything?" The dragonborn kept their eyes squinted at Taako, inspecting him. They spoke in Taako's direction but nothing about their voice suggested that they wanted any real answer from Taako. "Or is this thing just glitched out?

"I'd put my money on the glitch." The human groaned and hit the remote harder, fed up with the device. "We can report it to tech as soon as I get it walking again."

The dragonborn pulled their face away from Taako's cell. They snatched the remote out of the human's hands and punched a few buttons on it. Within seconds, Kravitz walked forward again, not even looking back at his coworkers.

"You should'a just let me do the tech stuff," the dragonborn said, falling back into line.

The human made some annoyed noises as they got back into line, and by the time they started speaking, they were too far down the hall for Taako to hear them. A few dozen more bounty hunters passed by in the line before disappearing completely.

Which left Taako alone.

He whistled into thin air, but nobody in the surrounding cells answered him. Great. There must have been some kind of silence spell cast over all the cells. Taako looked behind him, hoping to find _something_ that he could pass the time with. But. No, nothing. Just a blank, black wall. Not a bed. Not a toilet. He didn't need to rest or eat, given that he was a soul, so all he could do was stand there.

Existing.

Alone.

But maybe that wasn't so bad! Taako liked being alone! He always whined when people would bother him when he tried to get some alone time. He wasn't a _people person._ He had a personal bubble thirty feet wide and a circle of trust two inches in diameter. You know, maybe this wasn't so bad! Having a year all to himself was a--fuckin'--fantasy of his. Probably. No Magnus trying to crush his ribs. No weird vibes from Merle. No scolding from Davenport. No cold silences with Lucretia. No whining from Barry. Taako didn't need anyone, he was just fine on his own, thank you very much.

Except for Lup.

Or Barry. Or Magnus, or Lucretia. Or Davenport, or Merle.

Or Kravitz.

Fuck, he hoped Kravitz would pass by alone at some point. Then he could straighten _(as if that were even possible with him)_   this whole thing out. Maybe he could get Kravitz to actually speak to him. As long as the other bounty hunters weren't looming over his shoulder, Taako was confident he could get Kravitz to say something. He needed to hear _something._ As much as he'd like to play the lone wolf card, he already missed interacting with his people. He needed someone to joke at, to argue with, to poke fun of. The wall was a horrible conversation partner. It had barely been a day and Taako felt like he would break at any moment. Was it a day? Was it a week? An hour? A month?

Time didn't feel like it was passing by correctly.

Taako rattled the chains on his arms. He wiggled his ankles and heard the chains down below. It wasn't prime entertainment, but it'd have to do. It was the one thing he had control over in his cell, he might as well put it to good use. Shows how shitty this cell was, that  _chain rattling_ was his new hobby.

He was halfway through an all-chain rendition of _Who Let The Dogs Out_ when the chains started to recede into the wall. As soon as he stopped moving, the chains stopped receding. Fine. Whatever. His wardens didn't want to give him even the _bare minimum_ of entertainment. Cool.

This was going to be a long year.

* * *

Unable to keep track of any form of time, Taako felt _horrible._  

Not physically.

He didn't feel _anything_ physically. But the cell he was trapped in was so fucking inhumane. He didn't have anything to focus on, nobody to speak to, and nothing to look at. He couldn't move too much, or else the chains would go farther back into the wall. He didn't have to occupy himself with physical needs, which would have given him enough of a routine to _try_ and cope with this.

But, no. He could only stand there. Waiting.

Bored wasn't the word for it, but it felt _wrong_ to stay standing here. As much as Taako believed he liked solitude, this wasn't working for him. Standing in the cell made him confront the idea that maybe he was just a naturally lonely person, that he needs other people. That every time he announced that he needed _Taako Time_   and ran away, he would always float back into the common area fifteen minutes later, some wild idea in his head. He hated sleeping alone, but did it anyway--too old to sleep with Lup on a nightly basis (she'd do it if he asked, but she was so independent lately). Unable to get Kravitz in bed every year. Sure, Taako was fine on his own, could deal with that if he _had_ to, but he preferred to have someone to springboard off of.

This cell was fucked up. Making him _honest_ about his own self.

Only Lup was able to get him to be honest, and she barely ever executed that power. With Kravitz' blinking memory, Taako was considering giving that power to him, too. That was a new development, though, and it made Taako gag to even think about that level of vulnerability with a new person. Still. He had the _ability_ to be honest. Just only exercised it with Lup.

But as far as Barry or Magnus or Davenport or Lucretia or...uh...

Who was the other one?

...

Merle! That was right. Merle.

The stress almost made Taako forget _Merle._ Wouldn't that be crazy? Taako couldn't forget that old bastard if he tried.

Off topic. Anyway. As far as anyone else was concerned, Taako was _just fine_   being the cool son of a bitch he always was.

The bounty hunters all walked in two lines down the hallway again. Whether it was the next day or hour or month, Taako was unsure. It couldn't have been too long after the last batch came through. Looked like this was a regimented task. Had to have been daily or weekly. They walked in the same direction as last time, left to right, none of them looking into Taako's cell. Taako paid very close attention, because this was the only activity he could see from his cell, and because he wanted to find a crack in the system and exploit it. It wouldn't be the first time Taako broke out of jail. This one was just higher stakes. He needed to get back to his sister and his crew, and then the rest of the year would pan out smooth. All he ha to do was find an opening. Just.  _One_ opening.

And then Kravitz passed in front of him.

And then Kravitz stopped in front of  him.

Was that supposed to happen? Taako didn't say his name. He didn't do anything to trigger Kravitz to stop. The bounty hunters behind him all muttered variations of, "not again," or  "aw, shit," and even one instance of, "this thing's fucking broken!" But nothing they said encouraged Kravitz to go forward. His face looked tighter than before, but that must have been Taako projecting. Kravitz hadn't shown any signs of humanity this plane, why would he start now? Still. The way his coworkers yelled at him from behind was...worrying.

Whatever was up with this plane, it was really strict. Taako wondered if Kravitz would get into trouble if he kept doing shit like this. And Kravitz had told him to make sure his soul was kept intact and safe. Who knew what these shitty bounty hunters would do if Taako didn't intervene?

"Kravitz?" Taako stepped as close to the bars as his chains would allow. Kravitz turned his head towards him. Unblinking eyes, neutral face. But at least he acknowledged Taako's presence. That was a start. Taako whispered quietly, so the other bounty hunters wouldn't hear. "Come over here."

Kravitz stepped forward, right in front of Taako's cell. As soon as he got out of the way of the line, the other bounty hunters moved forward, no regards to what the fuck was up with their "sentry." That was good. Maybe Taako could fix whatever was going on before anyone else noticed. It wasn't like he wanted Kravitz to be stripped of his free will for a year, but he knew when it was best to keep things on the down-low. And the people that worked here were real hardasses.

Taako needed to find out the extent of Kravitz' obedience first. "Uh, raise your hand?"

As soon as the words left Taako, Kravitz raised his hand high up in the air.

"Wow, baller." It wasn't _super_ baller. Taako would prefer Kravitz with his entire personality present. He'd like to hear an opinion or some free thought coming out of him. But this was good for the task of getting things up and running. "Um.....fuck, uh....get me out of here?"

Might not have been a good idea for Taako to issue a breakout with Kravitz while he was still scoping the place out. _And_ while the other bounty hunters were still around. But. The words came out of his mouth on accident. Fuck it, he'd figure out how to play this by ear. Maybe he'd be able to get Kravitz to take him somewhere discreet so he could...what? Try and get his personality back? Get them both out of here and figure out a strategy for the rest of the year. No way Taako was going to stay holed up in this shitty cell for twelve more months.

Or eleven more months. Ten? It was really unclear how much time had passed so far.

Kravitz looked down and reached for the latch on the bars. His hands touched the latch and it sparkled a bright red before falling open automatically. None of the bounty hunters passing by seemed to notice, all of them focused on the space directly in front of them. Tunnel vision. Maybe this could work.

"Get in here," Taako said, and stepped backwards as far as his chains would go so Kravitz could fit in the ridiculously small space in with him. The blinders on the cells worked in their favor now. Someone would have to be looking really hard to notice that two people were in there. Kravitz still looked down at Taako with a painfully neutral expression on his face. "Alright, uh, why don't we--um, shit, let's. Get out of here, first, and then we can. Uh. Hit the road?"

Kravitz nodded once. Better than nothing. Taako would like to get him back up to speech, but he was making an attempt at communicating. That was promising.

"Take off my cuffs. Can you do that without tripping any alarms?"

With a wave of his hand, Kravitz got Taako's handcuffs off. He knelt down to get the ones on his ankles out of the way. Taako had to instruct him to stand back up, since he stalled on the floor. He really was acting like some kind of glitched-out robot. That wouldn't do. He was so much more than that and it _hurt_ to see him like this. It'd almost be better if the dude was aggressive and yelling at him. At least he'd have an  _opinion_ like that. 

Taako waited until all the bounty hunters passed before gingerly prying the cell door open. He looked to the left, and to the right. No people. Just rows and rows and _rows_ of cells. The floor beneath them seemed to be made of glass, and there were rows and rows of cells below them. The ceiling was also made of glass. Cells above them, too. The row of cells Taako just escaped from were uneven, too. Big glass boxes sat above every cell, filled with varying strings of light.

"Kravitz," Taako said, holding onto his arm. Kravitz turned his head to look at him. "What are those?"

"Soul processors," was the answer, in a hauntingly neutral voice. 

Taako had to step directly in front of cells with larger glass boxes to see what was inside. He saw people, or, well, he saw their souls--compressed. The larger the glass box, the more glitched-out the soul inside looked. When the glass box was large enough, the soul inside turned into a ball, unable to keep up a physical form. Nobody in these lower cells had the energy to look or speak to Taako. He ran back over to look at the glass box on top of the cell he escaped.

About half a dozen strings floated inside.

"What a fucking nightmare." Taako turned to look at Kravitz, still neutral as ever. "Hey, Kravitz, what do you think of this?" Maybe he could get an opinion out of him.

"I don't," Kravitz said, and Taako's heart shattered.

Sure, this was _his_ Kravitz, but he wasn't functioning all the way. Taako wasn't attracted to an emotionless robot. He preferred his partner to have an actual fucking opinion, and free thought, just. Something he could bounce off of. Just because he _had_ Kravitz, here and obedient, didn't mean that Taako wanted him like that. He'd either have to figure out how to disable this hold on him or he'd just try and keep him safe until the end of the year rolled around. Didn't make it any easier to see Kravitz like this, but he'd have to deal.

Instead of moping around and lamenting over Kravitz' lost personality, Taako figured it would be more productive to get them _out_ of here. Taako grabbed Kravitz' hand and started running in the opposite direction as the bounty hunters did earlier.

"You are going the wrong way." Kravitz didn't resist as he said this, just let it out as a warning. It sounded vaguely passive-aggressive to Taako, but in the same way a GPS voice sounds mad when you turn into a gas station instead of the interstate. Emotions projected onto a robot voice out of desperation.

Taako stopped running and thought for a moment. "Can you get us into the Material plane?"

"I need my scythe, and that is registered in the locker room until I arrive on duty."

"Okay. Can we go there?"

Kravitz held tight onto Taako's hand and _raced_ down the hall, at a speed Taako was unsure he could catch up with. Guess he was technically weightless at the moment. He held onto Kravitz like his life (or death) depended on it, not letting go. Kravitz sailed the two of them into a long room with lockers on every wall, some of them too tall to reach on ground level.

Taako looked around, hoping nobody else was here. "Where's your locker?"

"I do not have one," Kravitz said, walking slowly now that they were out of the cell hallway. He walked to a monstrous glass case that held hundreds of scythes. "I take out the ones used specifically for sentries."

"Fucked up." Taako put his hand on the glass. "Can you get one out?"

Kravitz kept his hands behind his back. "Not without my supervisor's permission."

_"Fuck!"_ Taako paced around in a tight circle. He needed to figure this out, _fast._ Had no idea when one of those supervisors would come around the corner. And he certainly had no intention of staying in that stupid fucking cell for the rest of the year, getting his _soul processed,_ whatever that meant.

Taako tried not to freak the fuck out in the middle of this bounty hunter locker room, but it was a close call. He hated being a soul, it made him confront his feelings quicker than he was used to. No brain to filter out all the things he wasn't fond of. Just raw emotions coming through. Always a bit more honest with himself like this, and, _no,_ don't need that. It just left him open for moments like this, immobilized in the locker room, unsure of where to go next. No logical way to get himself out of this spiraling thought storm.

He didn't feel the hand on his shoulder, but he saw it in his peripheral vision.

Kravitz' hand.

"Are you alright?" Kravitz looked at him with the slightest amount of concern. It wouldn't normally be anything great or special, but it took his face out of that hauntingly neutral status. Whatever was holding him back, or keeping him cold and robotic, must not have been infallible.

"Yeah, uh..." Taako couldn't stop from smiling, turning away from Kravitz. Could anyone blame him for melting like that after being shown basic fucking decency for the first time in days, weeks, months? Whatever amount of time it had been. "Good."

"Good," he said, simple and clunky, like he was trying the word out for the first time in his voice. Kravitz stared at him for a few moments before turning around on his heel and walking away. No other words.

Taako huffed and followed him, having to walk faster to keep up at his side. "Where d'you think you're going?"

"To report you."

"Wha--" Taako fell back a couple steps, flabbergasted. He scoffed and ran right out in front of Kravitz, finger waggling in the air. "Oh-kay, fine, I get it. Got an important job to do, that's fine, super great. But have you considered--"

Kravitz raised both eyebrows, eyes trained on the tip of Taako's finger like a patient at an optometrist's office.

_"Noo-oo-oot_   doing it?" Taako popped his last word with one gentle poke to Kravitz' sternum, giving the man his best smile.

Or, maybe not his best, because Kravitz rounded away from Taako and kept walking. More determined this time. Taako noted in the back of his mind that he wasn't as robotic as he was minutes before. He stopped himself from getting too excited over that.

"Hey," Taako said, catching up behind Kravitz and tapping his back repeatedly to get his attention. "Hey, hey, heyheyhey, no, that's--c'mon, _Kravitz--"_

Kravitz turned on a dime, both eyes catching Taako's. Not angry, but frustrated. "How do you know what that word is?"

"Uh." Taako scrambled for a conceivable lie that wouldn't fuck with Kravitz' mind too much. He kept shifting from looking neutral to conflicted, and Taako wasn't sure if he was breaking down his programming or if something else was going on. Whatever it was, he didn't want to distress Kravitz out any more than he already was. "You just kinda...look like a Kravitz."

"You thought that was my name?" Kravitz stepped forward towards Taako, getting a little too far into that wide personal bubble he kept (usually, Kravitz _would_ be allowed in this bubble, but Taako already felt hurt watching his boyfriend getting stripped of his personality. This wasn't a great day for him).

"I mean, if it isn't, I can call you whatever your real name is," Taako said, with a single laugh, a funny inside joke that only he would understand.

An inside joke that seemed to unsettle Kravitz wholly, so much so that he took a couple steps backwards. Taako saw Kravitz with this upset look every once in a while, when he was asked to remember something more than a year in his past. But, this time, there was some pain behind that surface level of discomfort. As if his mind was fighting against these contradictions and losing. He didn't speak for a long time, and when he finally spoke up, it was a punch to Taako's (currently nonexistent) gut.

"I don't have one," he said, quiet.

"A _name?"_   Taako stepped forward, into Kravitz' personal space.

"I'm just a sentry." Kravitz' voice was tight, too distant, and wrong. "I'm not even supposed to have the ability to speak."

Taako hesitated, wondering if it would be out of line to touch him. It probably was. Except, if there were scraps of Kravitz deep down in there, the touch could offer some sort of comfort to those deep parts. Taako took a risk and laid his hand on Kravitz' arm. "But you're doing it."

"I think I'm malfunctioned." Thankfully, Kravitz didn't shy away. He didn't move any closer either, but. Baby steps. "I'm not in the business of telling anyone, though, because that would mean that I--that they might--" Kravitz' eyes dropped to the ground. "It's just my secret."

"That you're not actually a robot?" Taako asked.

Kravitz sneered and looked Taako in the eye. "What's a robot?"

"Not important." Taako let go of Kravitz. He calmed down just a bit, and Taako didn't want to overwhelm him. Wouldn't get anywhere good by freaking Kravitz out. "Listen. How about you just let me leave?"

He could only shake his head. "I can't."

"Why not?"

"I _can't."_ Kravitz' face screwed in on itself, too tight and too distressed. Like he _wanted_ to help Taako, but genuinely couldn't. "The best I can do for you is take you back to your cell without reporting this."

Taako watched his face, watched the amount of pain Kravitz put himself through just to have this conversation. If he had more free will than everyone expected him to, why did he open the cell? He didn't have to. "Why'd you let me out in the first place?"

"I was--" Kravitz paused, a surprised look on his face. As if a dog was caught with their nose stuck in a can of food. He suddenly couldn't bear to look Taako in the eye, and turned his head away. "Curious." He coughed, even if he didn't have lungs to need that. Cute. Taako liked knowing that his charm transcended every memory wipe. "But this has gone too far."

"It can go farther, if you wanted," he said, grinning wide.

"No." Kravitz put his horribly neutral face back on and turned around, walking to the entrance of the locker room. Back near the hallways with the cells. "Come on. Follow me."

"Uh, no can do." Taako leaned up against a wall of lockers, stubborn as he could be. He had no intention of getting Kravitz in trouble, but also. He could use that to get Kravitz to let him out. Not that Taako hadn't spent long amounts of time in various Stockades--this Stockade was. Different. Worse. Bad. He'd use every tactic he could to get out of here. Even if it meant threatening his boyfriend momentarily. "Hey, what if I just tell your boss you can talk? What happens then?"

"I get disassembled and made into a new sentry. I've seen it happen before." Kravitz stared off into space, more distressed than Taako had ever seen him. Whatever the process for disassembly was, it couldn't have been good. And. Taako _did_ promise to keep Kravitz whole when he couldn't remember himself. "And I don't want that."

"You could just let me go, and I wouldn't tell anyone."

"If one of my coworkers finds you out in the field, they will know I was the one that opened the cell," Kravitz said, speaking plainly even though Taako could see the hesitance in every word he spoke. "It's not as if they don't keep records on that." Kravitz brought his hands in front of them, fidgeting a little. "And then they will think you hacked me, and you will go into maximum security and I will be dismantled."

"Maximum security," Taako echoed, waiting for further explanation.

"Even I don't know what happens there." Kravitz shook his head a few times, slow and with the performance of calm. "The best you can do is come quietly with me back to your original cell. I'm not pulling your leg or lying to you. That's your best option."

"You underestimate how good I am at hiding." Taako smiled. Maybe if he tried charming Kravitz again, he could get through to him.

"I still caught you." Kravitz put both hands behind his back and held back a smug grin. "So, no. I didn't underestimate."

Taako barked out a laugh. See, this was the Kravitz he liked. The one that was nice, but stil a little snide when he wanted to be. The one with an actual personality. Too bad it was hidden under layers of bullshit. "Didn't catch my friends, though."

"Only because they said--" Kravitz stepped backwards again, bothered. "That word. That you keep calling me."

"Kravitz," he said, carefully.

"Yes." Kravitz stared right at Taako, processing the word. "I was--distracted." He let out another unnecessary breath, dropping his shoulders. "And I acted like I froze up so I wouldn't be destroyed."

"Nobody would destroy you if you--uh, if you ran away." He elbowed Kravitz and waggled a couple eyebrows so his meaning was explicitly clear. Taako figured he could try charming him _one more time._ Maybe it would work. Hopefully it would work. Fuck, Taako already missed Kravitz. "With me."

Kravitz laughed once, both hands on his hips as he grinned. "You want me to steal a scythe so we can run away?" He was a little disbelieving, as if he thought it were some kind of joke. But maybe a joke he was into? Taako would have to circle back on that.

"I mean, think about it. I'd be out. You wouldn't have to pretend like you're...uh, like you're a robot, you cou--" Taako stopped himself from saying anything more, knowing he'd spill out everything good about Kravitz if he wasn't careful. Still riding off of that whole year of marriage. "It's a win-win situation."

"Except I would have to betray my goddess," he said, all the humor in his voice and face gone in an instant.

"The goddess that wants you not to have any free thought."

"She still created me." Kravitz went from humored to neutral to angry in a few seconds, one hand defensively going to his own chest. He raised his voice, not loud enough to get any attention, but loud enough for Taako to take a step back. "What kind of person would I be if I didn't respect my own goddess?"

"A sexy rebel?" he asked, trying to rail the conversation back to the psuedo-flirting they had ten seconds ago.

"A _traitor,"_ Kravitz said, back to acting angry. Ugh. Sure, Taako knew the guy had to tamp down his personality at all times, but this was like whiplash, here. Not cool. Especially not cool when Kravitz wasn't _listening to him._   "I will not trade my freedom for the trust of my deity."

Taako huffed, threw both hands in the air, and pitched his voice just a tad too high. "Fine, you want to get dismantled?"

"N-no! Not at all, I--" Kravitz looked down at himself, paused, and then whispered, "I don't want to end." His eyes met Taako's once more and he painted a stern look on his face. "I'll offer this once more. You can either come quietly with me back into your cell, or--"

Taako was too old to stick out his tongue and offer an eyeroll, but he did so anyway. "Or _what?"_

"Or I will shout and say I've found you in the hallway, and they will take you to maximum security." Kravitz frowned, shoulders pinned back. Trying to make himself look as large as possible. "That's your choice."

"Kravitz--"

"Please," Kravitz said, pleading. Genuinely afraid of the consequences the Raven Queen had to offer. "I have a very strong feeling I'm not meant to end here."

Those puppy-dog eyes weren't going to fool ol' Taako. "And you're going to throw _me_ under the bus?"

"You _are_ the criminal, here." The sad, frightened act dropped in an instant. Taako was unsure if that happened because Kravitz' whole brain was scrambled or if he was trying to manipulate Taako's feelings. Either way: Taako wasn't a fan. "Nobody innocent dies fourteen times."

"Yeah, well, at least ten a' those were _specifically_ your fault," Taako said, and then realized how much of a bad idea it was to let that slip.

"My fau--" Kravitz shook his head and groaned. Inching towards furious. "I reaped you once! How are the rest of them my fault?"

"I've got my secrets." Taako tried to keep it coy. Maybe Kravitz would ask less questions that way.

"Is that how you know that word?" Kravitz asked, the fury toning down again. Emotions swinging like a pendulum knocked around by a destructive cat. "That thing you keep calling me?"

Taako and Kravitz engaged in what was probably too inappropriate of a staring contest, considering Taako had motives other than simply escaping. Ideally, he'd like to escape _with_ Kravitz, not to subject him to the absurd rules of this year's Astral plane. But, what was the saying? You can lead a horse to water, but you can't put him in the hospital? If Kravitz knew who he was, if he had even a shred of his old memories, he'd follow Taako to the ends of the plane. But. When Kravitz doesn't know him, his loyalty to his goddess came out more powerful.

It might have been easier if Taako just _told_ him what was going on, but. Kravitz' words from last year kept echoing in his head. _It's a whole lot less confusing on my end if I know as little as possible._ Judging by how confused Kravitz _already_ was, Taako didn't know what would happen if he added onto that. This whole situation was delicate, and Taako _didn't know_ how to handle something this delicate with people that weren't Lup.

He considered just _grabbing_ Kravitz and running, but wasn't sure if the soul physics would check out on that.

But before Taako could even try to make a decision, he heard two sets of footsteps and some muffled speech. He grabbed Kravitz by the arm and ducked inside one of the lockers. He and Kravitz were kind of...smashed together inside, limbs floating into other limbs, but that didn't bother Taako. He had enough weird soul experiments to write this off as a nonissue.

Kravitz, however, was _really_ distressed. Taako put his hand over his mouth, which didn't do much but was more of a symbolic gesture. Kravitz calmed down enough so that Taako could hear the voices outside.

"Ugh, if this thing wandered off again--" The voice of the human, from earlier. The one that tried to reset Kravitz, but couldn't. Now Taako knew why. "Are you sure we can't just reset the damn thing?"

"I _really_ don't want to file the paperwork for that." The dragonborn's voice came through louder, booming through the locker room. Both of their sets of footsteps faded slightly as they walked towards the scythe case. "Yeah, see, all the scythes are here. It's gotta be in this plane."

"Probably just frozen next to the coffee machine," the human said, and snorted.

"Or stuck trying to walk up stairs." Both of the bounty hunters laughed. If Taako had blood, it'd be boiling.  "Can't stand these things."

Taako looked up at Kravitz and whispered, "hey, so, running seems pretty sweet now, doesn't it?"

"If I run, it will be out on my own," he said, even quieter than Taako. He frowned, both brows furrowed as he eavesdropped on the two asshole bounty hunters, who were now out of sound range. "I have no intention of breaking a criminal out of the Astral plane."

"What about a criminal that can keep you hidden?" Taako winked. Tried to tap into some base part of Kravitz. He knew the guy flustered easily. "And maybe some other things?"

He kept his ear to the locker door, silent. Listening. He looked down at Taako for a split second, and then peeped out of the tiny slats in the door. Kravitz stared outside the locker and nodded once. "Alright, I have a plan."

Before Taako had the chance to ask what the plan was or what he needed to do, Kravitz threw open the locker door and pulled Taako out. He held a firm hand on Taako's shoulder and walked him towards the scythe cabinet, that same painful look on his face.

"Wha--" Taako pulled away from Kravitz' grip, but he was more corporeal than Taako's soul. He didn't have any muscle, he was just a mass of energy that _looked_ like Taako. "Hey, what the fuck is this!?"

Hearing Taako's protests, both bounty hunters turned their head on a swivel to watch the scene. Robot Kravitz with his hand firmly on Taako's shoulder. Taako trying his hardest to escape. Taako hoped this was a good plan, or else he'd be _real fucking pissed_ at Kravitz. He shut his mouth, waiting to see what Kravitz would do. Maybe he'd steal a scythe from one of the other bounty hunters? Whatever it was, Taako wasn't going to ruin the plan before he knew what it was.

He trusted Kravitz, even if he wasn't whole right now.

"Oh, that's why it left its post." The human put out their palm towards Taako, rolling their eyes. "Some dumbass went on the loose."

"Alright, bud." The dragonborn stepped forward, ready to take Taako away from Kravitz. "C'mere."

Taako stood there, unwavering, knowing that Kravitz would pull him away in a second and they'd both go off on their escape. This would be another good year. And everything would. Be. Okay.

He hoped. Really, with every step Kravitz took towards the two bounty hunters, Taako started to have his suspicions. Kravitz didn't run off. He stopped right in front of the dragonborn, no expression on his face, and handed Taako over. Taako turned around and tried to break free of the bounty hunter's grasp. It didn't work--Taako was weak as a soul, not as physically strong as someone with an actual body.

Nope, nope, Taako was _out._ Time to jet. Plan over. "Wait a minute, hold the _fucking_ phone--"

The dragonborn reached into Taako's chest and pulled out a small ball of light. They threw it over to the human. "Hey, can you clear out his cell so we can lock him into maximum security?"

Taako lunged for _whatever the fuck_ they just pulled out of him, but the dragonborn held him back. "Hold _on_ a second, that's--"

"Shut it," the human said, hand waving in the air. Taako tried to sass them, but no sound came out of him. Great. They had the power to _silence_ him. They played with the little ball of light in their hand, tossing it back and forth between their palms. "You know, looking at this dude's file, we should have put him into maximum in the first place. He's died fourteen times."

_"Fourteen?"_ The dragonborn, still with one arm clutching Taako, leaned over to inspect the light. "Jeez, wouldn't expect that out of _that_ guy."

"You never know with fuckin' elves." The human scowled at Taako, and then threw the ball of light back into his chest. Dunked it. Taako would say that was nice, but, he didn't give a shit about these two bounty hunters. "Can you do the paperwork for this?"

"We're doing it together, you're not pushing this whole thing on me." The dragonborn snarled. "No way."

The human let out a soft _hmph_ and walked away. "Fine. I'm gonna go clear the cell." They walked out, leaving the other hunter, Kravitz, and Taako alone.

The bounty hunter dragged Taako out of the locker room, out of a discreet door in the back. Kravitz followed behind them, not speaking. No expression. Taako knew it was all an act, and he could ruin Kravitz' whole...thing, here. It'd be so easy to tell the guard that Kravitz let him out of the cell, or to bait Kravitz into saying something. And, with the way Kravitz betrayed him this year, he _almost_ did it.

_Almost._

He remembered the Kravitz he loved asking him not to let his soul get destroyed. Asking him to keep him safe when he didn't know what the stakes were. And, while Taako would normally be _so on board_ for some good old-fashioned revenge, he didn't want to destroy his boyfriend. He had no way of knowing if Kravitz' claims of dismantling were true or not. Kravitz had lied to him before. Kravitz had performed a lot of tricks to get Taako into jail. But. Still. He couldn't take the risk and find out if Kravitz was lying.

There was too much on the line.

The dragonborn led them to another wall of cells, but they were even more locked-down. At least three types of locks on the bars. Magic forcefields. Less visibility. Less light. Less space. Bigger soul processors on the top. No chains on the inside, just indents in the wall. Guards stood everywhere, making rounds up and down the halls. All of them cold, unblinking sentries. The things that Kravitz had to act like he was.

Even if Taako could speak, he wouldn't be able to. This place was...oppressive. Difficult to look at. He must have looked worried, because the dragonborn laughed and slammed his palm into Taako's back.

"Should'a cut the necromancy out if this freaks you out so bad," they said, a sickening grin on their face. "Now, are you gonna resist arrest, or did you decide to make my job easy?"

Taako took one last look at Kravitz. One last pleading look. Maybe there was something in him that would make him stop this at the last second, something that would rush in to save Taako, something that could make him _remember--_

Kravitz looked away, off to the side.

Taako stepped into the cell.

The bounty hunter put his hands into the indents in the wall, and pushed his feet into the ones on the floor. They touched a panel on the wall and the cell walls shrunk to fit Taako's exact frame. Taako couldn't move. He couldn't speak, now. All he could do was stand there, watching the lack of guilt on Kravitz' face as he observed the scene. He knew Kravitz would apologize the _second_ he had the chance to speak to Taako again. He would write letters upon letters trying to comfort Taako, long after the wounds closed. That didn't help the fact that Taako was scared and alone _now,_ but. Something to look forward to, he guessed.

The bounty hunter occupied themselves with the application of Taako's locks when the human ran into maximum security, steam blowing out of their ears.

"Hey! Guess what?" They slammed their hand on the wall next to the other bounty hunter, voice louder than Taako had ever heard it. "I read the logs of this asshole's previous cell, and _guess how he got out?"_

The dragonborn blinked. "How's that?"

"Got the _sentry_ to open it for him." The human knocked Kravitz upside the head, inspecting him with a wild set of eyes. "Hey, dumbass! What was that all about, huh?"

Kravitz stood as still as he could, tried to school his face into the emotionless mask he'd been wearing this whole time. His eyes were too wide and his lip trembled, though, and the dragonborn tackled him to the ground. They saw through the facade he kept up this whole time.

Taako had the urge to scream, but that had already been taken away from him.

He didn't listen to what the two bounty hunters shouted at Kravitz--it didn't matter, all that Taako could focus on was how they were _hurting_ him, how they picked him up and dragged him out of Taako's line of sight. Were they going to leave and tear him apart?

Nobody was there to answer his question. Nobody was there to hear his question. He couldn't ask them. Still impossible to access his voice. Taako wished he wasn't bound to the walls and floors, so he could curl up in a ball in the corner of his cell. As if there _was_ a corner he could crawl up into. He could barely stand in this place.

He shouldn't have made Kravitz open his cell door.

Taako stood in his cell, only able to use his thoughts. Passed the time by feeling sorry for himself and guilty for the loss of Kravitz. Couldn't even play with chains. No lines of bounty hunters ran by, only slow moving sentries. Taako thought it would be easier to keep track of time with the constant movement he saw in his narrow field of vision, but it was worse. At some times, it felt like they weren't moving at all. Other times, there was a different sentry outside his window whenever he blinked.

But, out of all the sentries he saw, Taako never found Kravitz again.

He wondered if he got disassembled.

If he did, Taako would know that it was his fault.

* * *

Things fell apart quicker in Taako's mind than it did in the last cell.

Not that Taako could grasp any concept of _quicker_ or _soon_ while in this place. But it _felt_ quicker. He had the feeling things were slipping out of his mind. He couldn't remember years anymore. Remembered everything that happened in the cycles, but couldn't pin a specific year to any of them. Remembered his childhood. Remembered Lup. Remembered the good times with Kravitz. If he lost other things, that was _fine,_ but that's all he needed.

He counted his crew members, knew there were six of them (not including himself), tried to keep all their names in his mind. If he could remember his crew, he'd be alright.

Lup, Barry, Lucretia, Magnus, Kravitz, Davenport. Six crew members.

Wait. Kravitz wasn't a crew member.

Maybe there were only five. No, it must have been six. Six. Who was the sixth crew member?

...

Oh, that was right. Taako was the sixth. Lup, Barry, Lucretia, Taako, Magnus, Davenport.

Anyway. Taako could only pass the time by trying to remember things. Like his cantrips (oh, but the first levels were harder to recall). And his recipes (there was _some_ way you could cook a cake without butter, but he wasn't sure how). And his fishing techniques (he couldn't quite remember what types of bait were good for specific fish anymore). The more time he spent in the cell, the harder it was to remember all his skills. Which, y'know, that was fine. He'd get that back the next year, right? He'd reset?

Huh, wait. Hold on. Wasn't resetting  _bad?_ He was just having a conversation with Kravitz about not wanting to be reset. That happened...this year, right? Man. What even happened to Kravitz this year? They talked, didn't they? Taako vaguely remembered having a conversation with him. And he said that he didn't want to be reset. So. That probably meant resetting was  _bad,_ right? He trusted Kravitz' judgement. He was probably right. Taako didn't trust a lot of people, but Kravitz was on that list. And Lup. And the rest of his crew, right? Sort of. All five of them. Five, right? Lup, Barry, Magnus, Kravitz, Lucretia...no, fuck, Kravitz wasn't part of the crew. Uh. Wait, he forgot to add himself. Of course. Lup, Taako, Barry, Magnus, Lucretia. Five crew members. The numbers added up fine.

Once, Taako saw a sentry that didn't look like the others. Most of them were carbon copies of each other, but this one was taller and a _lot_ more attractive. He stayed in front of Taako's cell for longer than some of the other sentries did. Was that on purpose? Maybe this was the dude's way of flirting. If Taako wasn't holed up in this cell, he'd probably ask for this dude's name.

Or, wait. Wasn't Taako committed?

It felt like he was.

But he couldn't think of who he was committed to. There were....four crew members on the ship, other than him. Lup was out of the question, Barry was too (although, he couldn't remember why), Lucretia liked women, and...oh, shit, there was another person, Taako knew it, but.

He just couldn't think of another name.

Oh, except that _he_ was probably the fourth crew member. Taako, Barry, Lucretia, and--

And.

And, and, _and._

Who else?

Fuck. Who else? He was _missing_ someone. He knew he was missing someone. Taako was missing a lot of things in his mind, and most of that was--he was _fine_ with that, he thought. Until he lost something important. But he didn't know what. He was missing something. Taako was missing _something,_ and he didn't know what. This was the first _something_ he missed that distressed him. He didn't even care when his limbs disappeared. He didn't care when he couldn't see past his own cell. When he couldn't hear. When he couldn't feel. That was all secondary to the one thing he wanted to remember.

He was missing something.

But that didn't matter, did it? He was just a floating soul in a box. He just existed, and that was all. He wasn't really sure _where_ he was at any time. He wasn't sure _what_ he was. Or who. Or why he was there. He was just slowly, carefully, drifting away.

He lost his voice a long time ago. He lost his body while trying to recover memories. And then, as he wondered what he was doing in this empty space, he lost all thought entirely.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> you thought cycle 8 was bad! check out cycle 29!!!
> 
> this fic isn't going to be all angst all the time, this was just. a year that needed to happen! hey, hopefully ya'll didn't get too scared!
> 
> again, i posted this early just cause the archive is doing maintenance RIGHT when i usually post. so this is just a chance for everyone to read this! i'm still answering last chapter's comments though, it's just taking me a WHILE
> 
> i promise next chapter isn't as bad! well. it sort of is, because there is definitely fallout from this Bad Thing. but it's also about healing, so. that's good! also it's cycle 30, which means.....tesseralia :) food :) fun!!! :) :) :) !!!!


	10. Cycle 30

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Lup worries, and Taako builds himself back up.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> if you skipped last chapter because of the content warning, here's all the context you need to know for this chapter:  
> Taako got reaped by Kravitz immediately into the new year. In this plane, Kravitz was stripped of his personality by the Raven Queen because of her tight regulations. The Stockade was the tightest security that he'd ever seen, confining each prisoner to a very small box and processing their souls. Taako gets Kravitz to take him out of the cell and learns that Kravitz actually has his personality in tact, but is acting like a sentry so the Raven Queen doesn't harm his soul. Taako tries to get them to run away together, but Kravitz ends up turning him in. While Taako is put in maximum security, a guard notices that Kravitz was the one that opened Taako's cell, and they send him away for disassembly. Taako spends the rest of the year in maximum security, guilty that he killed Kravitz forever and slowly forgetting everything (because of the soul processors). 
> 
> and a content warning for this chapter: nothing explicitly horrifying happens in this chapter, but sometimes when you're healing from something, you take a couple of steps backward in the middle! something adjacent to disassociation is in this chapter, where taako has trouble getting back to taking care of himself after not having a body for a year (mostly appetite problems) but this chapter is more focused on slow healing than "omg look at how bad this is!!!"

When Taako reformed on cycle thirty, Lup crashed him into another hug.

It wasn't like the hug on cycle twenty-nine. It wasn't playful. It was desperate and frantic. Taako collapsed into her, not caring what the crew around him was up to. All his memories from the past year crashed into him like a truck, and _none of that was okay._ Taako took in some shaking breaths, holding Lup. How the _fuck_ did he forget Lup? That wasn't natural. He was two seconds away from a full breakdown and he didn't want anyone to see.

"So," she said, not yet realizing how messed up Taako felt. Lup laughed once, no humor in it at all. "That sucked."

This would normally be the part where Taako laughed, offered some retort, and moved on with his life. But he stayed silent and held onto Lup for dear life. His breaths became shallower, and he hid his face in Lup's shoulder. His mind raced, over and over again, trying to trace back through the year before. Kravitz got taken away. And Taako wasn't sure if his soul was shattered, or disassembled, or-- _what._ If he even had a chance of finding him again this year. Or the next. Or ever again.  _And he forgot Lup._ How could he forget  _Lup?_

"...Taako?" Lup finally noticed something off about Taako. She pulled away, holding him at arm's length. "Hey, what's going on?"

He didn't let her stay away for long. He pushed past her arms and held onto her. A gross lump formed in his throat, and he knew he would get Lup's jacket soaked at this rate. Taako heard vague chattering of confusion and concern from his crew, but ignored it. They didn't need to see this. He didn't even have the energy to run away before they saw him break down.

Before he knew it, Lup had him in his room.

She pushed a glass of water into his hands and sat in front of him, letting Taako have his space. It was what she always did when he was hurt, but Taako didn't want that this time. He threw the glass to the ground and didn't care when he heard the shatter. Without warning her, he fixed himself into Lup's arms, not bothering to go through the old song and dance of pretending like nothing was wrong. Too exhausted and afraid to put on that mask.

He'd _forgotten_ Lup, and that wasn't natural.

"Taako? C'mon," she said, concerned. Not pushing him, not yet, but he could hear the way she held back how freaked out she felt. Lup never liked being in the dark, and she wanted answers, _now._

Except Taako wasn't super prepared to give those answers. He just wanted to stay with Lup. He couldn't form a sentence if he tried. And the only thing Taako _would_ be able to say was how much he missed Lup, and how afraid he was that Kravitz was gone forever, and how horrible the act of forgetting felt. Damn it. He'd probably be fine--well, not fine, but _better--_ if it was just a cell. He could have dealt with all the other bullshit if he didn't slowly forget everything that meant something to him.

At least there wasn't much of a chance of something _that_ bad happening again.

He had Lup here, and with enough time sitting with her, he'd be fine. Right? He might have some trouble adjusting back to normalcy, but it wasn't as if he would be scarred forever from that experience. It was just one year. Taako had done enough emotional distancing to put that all behind him by the end of this cycle. Lup didn't die, as far as he knew, and stayed safe. This whole situation worried her, but as soon as Taako got back to working order she could go back to doing what she always did. He'd be fine.

At least, he'd be fine with this whole Lup situation.

The loss of Lup wasn't the only thing on his mind. There was also the fact that he maybe-sort-of killed Kravitz forever. He didn't know yet. If those two bounty hunters took him to the Raven Queen, would she have ripped him to shreds? It felt unlikely, but also _that_ specific Raven Queen was _the worst._ Kravitz never went against her word, but he never looked so _terrified_ speaking about her before. Loyal to her because he loved her, not because she threatened him on a regular basis. Taako assumed that there were other aggressive Raven Queens before. Kravitz wouldn't go to such extreme lengths to capture his bounties if she wasn't. But. This felt different.

Taako wheezed and another wave of tears fell out. Great. He didn't _want_ to make a scene.

Lup held him tighter. "I'm gonna kill Kravitz."

"Don't--" Taako paused, noting how scratched his voice was. He curled in closer to Lup. These were his first words in...well, at least half a year. Even with all his memories back, he wasn't sure how time passed in that hell jail. "Wasn't his fault."

"He reaped you," she said, barely hiding the anger in her voice. "I don't care how good he is, if he's making you do this every decade or so, I'm amending my fucking stance."

"That's not what I'm--" Taako dug his head out of Lup's shoulder, then immediately wanted to hide again. This wasn't a good look on him. "Kravitz wasn't the problem."

Lup nudged the side of his head with her hand, getting him out of her shoulder once more. "Then what was?" she asked, her voice more careful.

"I--" Taako's breath caught in his throat as he pulled closer to her, not wanting to look her in the eye. He felt broken, stalled, like a frozen program that needed to be rebooted. "-- _can't."_

She laid a hand on his back, running it down his spine a few times. "Taako?"

"Can't talk about it," he said, barely collecting himself to speak properly.

"Are you sure?" Lup squeezed him tighter. "Might help."

"It _won't."_ Taako knew Lup wouldn't make fun of how small his voice sounded like this, but he still felt embarrassed being _like this._   "Please."

"Alright." Lup scooted back farther on the bed, shifting in a more comfortable position for long time comforting. She sounded worried, but decided not to push it. Whatever was ailing Taako needed to be addressed before talking could happen. "We'll just stay like this, okay?"

He nodded into her shoulder, and even though he could tell she was seething with rage, she didn't move. And that was all he needed, really. His sister, alive and warm, next to him. She didn't bring up anything more, didn't speak, knew Taako needed the silence but couldn't stand to stay alone. Taako didn't try to think about anything, just allowed himself the time to allow his brain to decompress and get rid of the tightness he felt in his skull. He felt himself drifting off into something resembling meditation, and it didn't occur to him how tired he was until his eyes shut. Lup's cheek pressed right into his hairline and he allowed himself to drift off into some rest.

Taako could deal with the rest of his problems later.

* * *

Of course, Taako ignored all his other problems.

That lingering fear from the memory loss? Wow, hatchi matchi, Taako was having some bad dreams about that. Thankfully, there was a solution: no sleep. Only meditation. Sure, meditating made him think about things that he didn't want to dwell on, but at least he didn't wake up in a cold sweat every couple of hours. And, hey, if he spent his time thinking about other shit, he wouldn't be worried about the memory loss! So, really, it was fine. Kind of. Maybe.

Oh, and spending a year in a jail where eating and sleeping weren't an option? Made it fucking _awful_ to transition back into a body that had to worry about those things. Lup had to fight him to get him into showers. Had to beg him to actually _eat_ something. Kind of hard to stomach any food when Taako struggled to feel like a real person. Didn't go outside, either, just because it _felt_ wrong. It didn't matter in the long run. If Taako busted his body this year, he'd get a new one in a few months. Didn't make Lup worry about him any less. Of course, he wasn't trying to starve himself, he wanted to spend time with his sister. He _ate_ , just not very well. He could get down bland food pretty well, things that were just filling and nothing else. Protein? Get out of here. Vegetables? No way. Just a stupid amount of carbs in Taako's recovery diet. Even a chef can exist on garbage.

Also: the chance that Kravitz was permanently dead. And the fact that it was probably Taako's fault. Even after a few weeks, Kravitz didn't come after them. Barry put on barriers on the ship so that he wouldn't attack them within the first five minutes of a year, but they didn't see him when they stepped outside, either. Here was the thing. Taako might have been okay if he lost Kravitz. But the fact that it was explicitly his fault, and that he _just_ cracked a huge mystery on his man? No, that felt bad. Not a great set of thoughts.

He had Lup back, and that was cool. Except for, you know, the fact that she was so _guarded_ and _worried_ around him. Would it kill her to act normal? That would make this whole thing go over so much more smoothly. At least she wasn't bombarding him with questions. She did, however, bombard him with food that he didn't want to eat (no appetite) and activities that he didn't want to participate in (no energy). Lup refused to leave his side, except when one of them needed to use the restroom or bathe. They slept in the same bed for the first time in a decade and a half. Taako had become less dependent on her over the past twenty-nine years or so, but he needed this. If the rest of the crew wasn't so worried, they might call him clingy. Maybe not him specifically. Lup needed this as much as he did, and although Taako could tell that she missed his jabs and snark, she was more than happy that he was just...here. Things could go back to normal later. Now, they just needed each other.

Taako and Lup stayed on the ship together as the rest of the crew went to explore the new world. The two stood on the deck, hands clasped together, and watched the world from above. Another civilized planet, vibrant and alive. The previous cycle had a pretty good civilization too, but he was unable to check it out on his own. Taako would offer to go explore this place if he was in top shape.

He obviously wasn't, so he walked back inside and wandered the ship.

Lup fussed over him. And. Listen. He'd do the same thing if he was in her shoes, but also? Fuck this. He wasn't _delicate._ He didn't need to be watched like a _child._ He wouldn't be surprised at all if Lup installed a baby monitor in his room to watch him during the rare times she did leave him alone (never very often--Taako needed to keep close to her). Still, he rolled his eyes when she insisted that she make food for the both of them that he couldn't stomach down, and he sighed when she told him it might be a good idea to get a night of sleep instead of running off of meditation for so long.

One night, Lup convinced him to go to sleep. He woke up in the middle of the night, shaken from sleep by a bad dream like always. His stomach growled for the first time in a week. Fine. His brain was a wreck, and now his body was a wreck, asking for food at four in the morning. He carefully left the bed, doing his best not to wake Lup. Taako didn't feel up for making an elaborate breakfast, so he opened the pantry.

You know what? Food's overrated.

He grabbed a sleeve of butter crackers and ate them straight out of the plastic. It was just enough to get his stomach to stop yelling at him, but now his brain yelled. What a stupid goddamn headache. Kept getting those off and on since the year started. This was unfair. He got his body and memories back, and now he had to suffer through mortal needs?

"An entire cracker sleeve isn't a meal," Lup said, leaning on the door frame. Taako jolted in his seat. When did she follow him out of bed?

Taako shoved another cracker past his teeth. "Just a snack."

"I would have made you breakfast." She frowned, moved closer to him. Didn't touch him, just watched him with a stupidly concerned look on her face.

"Didn't want breakfast."

Lup sighed, got out a pan, and started making eggs. Taako knew she would try and get him to eat them (maybe he would, if she made it simple enough). He sat back down and kept gnawing on crackers. This was how most of their conversations went these days. She tried her best to get him to eat a real meal, but his stubbornness won out. Sometimes she'd try to ask what happened the past two years, but Taako shut down that line of questioning pretty quick. No sir. No way was he going to get into that. He did his best not to think about Kravitz at all--maybe if he forgot about him, this whole problem would go away. No need to think about how he might have killed him forever. No thanks!

The rest of the crew weren't as bad as Lup, but they got in Taako's grill enough that he felt he was about to burst.

Lucretia interacted with him the least. All she did was record his meals for Lup and tracked his behavior. She was only his enemy when she noticed him skip a meal he shouldn't have and told Lup. She never tried to fix anything herself, but was a watchful eye that he wanted to learn how to bribe. Lucretia never caved, just recorded their conversations and slipped them over to Lup. Taako could tell she was worried, but was not even a little bit equipped to handle it. 

Barry was kind of pleasant, actually. He didn't treat Taako any different, but he also conveniently forgot to ask if Taako learned anything more about Kravitz the past two years. If Taako needed some sense of normalcy, it was best to go off to sit and hang with Barry. He didn't drop everything he did to pay attention to Taako, and carried on with conversations like nothing happened. They could talk for a few hours and it would let Taako take his mind off of all the bad thoughts. Barry seemed concerned, but he did a really good job of hiding that.

Davenport kept a tight focus on the mission, but he still stopped by every day to bother the shit out of Taako. Asked if he needed any accommodations. He drove the ship past beautiful vistas and cityscapes when he knew Taako was awake and staring aimlessly out the window. He heard Davenport and Lup arguing in the next room over a couple of times, even though he didn't pay attention to what they were actually saying. Other than Lup, he was the only person reading Lucretia's logs on Taako.

Merle? Fuck Merle. He tried hundreds of plant remedies on Taako, and half of them were just weed. Which, like, _fine!_ That'd be great any other time, Merle. Taako wasn't trying to get high when he couldn't even stuff an egg into his stomach. Merle said it'd help with the stress, but Taako wasn't stressed, nope, that wasn't what was happening. If anything, Merle was the cause of his stress, with his bad plant jokes and his attempts to get Pan to heal his mind. 

Oh, and Magnus was the worst. _Hey, buddy, everything okay? Can I get you anything? How are you doing?_ Fuck off, Magnus. You know the answer to all three of those questions because they're always the same. Yes, no, fuck off. He didn't need Magnus nervously standing in doorways rubbing his hands together. He didn't need to be  _handled._ Magnus overwhelmed him, made his brain swim with activity he wasn't prepared for. Lup had to chase Magnus out a few times, sensing Taako's distress. 

But at least the crew didn't bother him so often. They had the Light to recover. Lup and Taako were relieved of service for the year for obvious reasons, but that didn't mean the Hunger was going to stop itself from touching down in a year. Taako hovered and watched them work. If he was in better shape, he'd be lording over the fact that he got the year off in front of them. But all he could do was watch with a blank look on his face.

Eventually, they settled on parking the Starblaster in the nation of Tesseralia, the oldest civilization on the planet. A few investigative agencies came to inspect the ship at some point, but Taako didn't pay any mind to them. Lup did a good job of keeping them away from him. After a few weeks, Taako found himself looking out the window, watching the lights of the city and the people excitedly circling the ship. If he paid any more attention, he'd really enjoy this place's culture.

Lup squeezed his hand and reminded him he could leave the ship whenever he wanted.

The timing never felt right, though. Even though Taako was restless and frustrated, he refused to leave the ship.

Davenport did ask the twins to come with them to some monastery. Business with the Light. It wasn't an order, Taako and Lup could refuse, but Taako was tired of being holed up in the ship for so long. Started to feel like a cell. He had enough of those. He finally had an excuse to leave without it being out of place. So he held tightly onto Lup and they walked in the back of the group to the First Monastery, sat down with the Abbess Oriana.

They set down bowls of broth in front of the crew, and. Oh, no. Lup was looking at him expectantly. She wanted him to eat this broth. No, come on, he _just_ had, like, a whole potato that morning. One of the big ones! He pushed the broth a few inches away with his foot and Lup's whole face fell. Oriana chattered on about Merle, how she wanted him to study there for a year (bad idea), and Taako decided he was bored enough to take a spoonful of this broth. Broth was bland, right? This would be fine. Maybe it'd get Lup off his case. He scooped up a little into the spoon and raised it to his lips, trying to get this done quick so Lup wouldn't make a big deal of it.

Holy shit.

_Holy shit._

Taako froze, kept the spoon in his mouth for just a bit too long. Thirty years of different realities, and he hadn't tasted anything like _that._ Wow. Fuck. It was, like, _spicy?_ But there was also something deeper in there. Like Umami. But twice. Twomami? Taako couldn't put a name to it, but he wanted to recreate it. Before he had the chance to even savor it, though, his bowl was empty.

He rose his face to look up at Lup and she beamed.

If this was what a monastery served as "simple" food, Taako _needed_ to see what this planet had to offer. Fuck his non-functioning stomach, this was important. And, alright, something about that broth made his stomach wake up. The bowl of broth was his first real meal in a few weeks, and it could barely be counted as such. Taako woke up for real, his senses coming back to him. If a bowl of broth could do that for him, what else was around this place?

When they left Merle to do his monastery work, Taako told Lup about his curiosity for what else Tesseralia had.

She smiled, grabbed him by the arm, and the two ran off to check out the city.

* * *

Lup and Taako spent a couple months getting plugged in to Tesseralia's cooking scene. They both really hit the jackpot the previous night, getting into an elite underground restaurant only for chefs. Taako had the best meal of his _life_ there, and still couldn't shake the thought of it from his mind. It forced him to stop fixating on the terrors from the year before, and put him back on track to normalcy. Not everything was perfect, but at least he had something else to think about than the worry that Kravitz was dead and gone forever and the dull memory of forgetting his sister.

But now, a new problem presented itself: what could be better than last night's meal?

So, now the two wandered the streets, looking for something that looked good. Nothing could compare to the previous night, though, so they aimlessly walked around. No real goal. They checked menus at the doors, and nothing stuck out to either of them. That night was less of an experimental cooking journey and more of a necessary food hunt. Most restaurants had at least a two hour wait. The ones that didn't were selling _soup_   for forty dollars (Taako didn't even want to _know_ how much they were charging for entrees). The sun set and the twins were running low. They had a light lunch in preparation for some new mind-blowing dish, but now they couldn't find one. If Lup saw one more two hour wait, she'd burst into flames. Taako wasn't too far behind. This area of town didn't even have street food. They had to walk in and sit down somewhere. He was highly considering just running over to a Fantasy Burger King.

"C'mon, let's try this one next." Lup gestured to a diner across the street with no lines and burnt-out lights. The paint chipped off the bricks and there were cracks in the windows. Exactly the type of place they would have worked at when they were younger--except, now, they had more options than a death trap like that. Taako gave her A Look and she groaned. "I don't care if it looks bad, I'm hungry."

"We should just go to the basement from last time," he said, the open-faced sandwich... _thing_ from last night still a memory on his tongue. 

"You'll never get over that, will you?" Lup grinned and nudged him with an elbow. "Not much of a food tour if you fixate on one good thing you ate."

Taako didn't let the teasing bother him. "Still, you think we're going to strike gold at a _diner?"_

"Do you really want to wait three hours before getting dinner?" Lup stared at him, brows raised, until Taako's stomach growled in betrayal. She stood up straighter and smiled. "Thought not. Also there's a pool hall right next door, maybe we can snag some shoes."

"If we die from food poisoning, it's your fault," he said, walking across the street with purpose. She ran up ahead of him and burst through the doors.

The place wasn't empty, but the twins were seated immediately. Menu had normal diner food, along with some Tesseralian classics and a few weirder twists. Even though Taako had been on the brink of starvation moments ago, he lost his appetite immediately after skimming the menu. Ugh. Today just wasn't a good day for food, he guessed. He needed to order _something_ so Lup wouldn't worry, though.

"Oh hell yeah," Lup said, once the waitress left their table. "Just fries and a shake? I should have done that."

"Hey, it's a diner. That's what they're known for." At least Lup didn't catch on to the fact that Taako was actively avoiding a full meal. "It's not like someone can mess fries up."

"You did, once." Lup fiddled with the straw dispenser that sat between them. "There's a difference between _crispy_ and _charred._ I chipped my tooth on those things."

"I was _ten,"_   he said, face screwed into an ugly pout. "First time frying anything, give me a fuckin' break."

"M-hmm." Lup opened her mouth to tease him further, but the waitress came back and set down their food. A basket of fries and a stupidly tall milkshake for Taako, and a burger and fry combo for Lup. They nodded and thanked the waitress, and as soon as she went out of earshot, Lup leaned over the table to whisper to Taako. "Oh, fuck, it's probably a bad sign they got these out so quick, huh?"

"I'd bet money your burger was fuckin' microwaved." Taako reached forward to touch her burger and the bun was _wet._ Definitely no food tonight for Taako, appetite _all gone._   "Gross, they stuck the bun in, too."

"I should have just ordered fries. These are actually good." Lup popped one of the fries in her mouth. "But, like, three servings. Are you sure you have enough over there?"

"Eh, I'll order more later." He wouldn't order more. Maybe he could say that the shake was surprisingly filling. Lup'd probably buy that. He nursed the shake and stared at a fry in deep contemplation, wondering if he should dunk it in the chocolate. Lup might actually kill him if he did. Before he could make a ruling on that, Taako was attacked with an assault to his senses. The music, which had previously been a quiet collection of old-timey bops, shifted to a recording of Fantasy Tom Jones singing _What's New Pussycat._ "Fuckin'--really? We go to dozens of universes, and Fantasy Tom Jones is suddenly a constant in all of them?"

Lup blinked at him from behind her burger, confused. "What's wrong with Fantasy Tom Jones?"

Taako just gestured to the air around them, disgusted at the sound waves around him.

"I like the song," she said, speaking with her mouth full of grease and frozen meat. "It's on the Fantasy Spotify playlist Barry made for the lab."

"Okay, great, good to know that Barold has brainwashed you." Taako rolled his eyes and picked a fry up, struggling to get it past his teeth. Really not a good day for food. Luckily, even though Lup noticed, she wrote it off as a side effect of the music.

"It'll be over in a couple minutes, just chill."

Fine, he couldn't argue with that. She was right. Taako picked at his fries, unimpressed even though Lup said they were really good. They just had salt on them, no good spices like the meal from the day before. Nothing could compare. He'd have to figure out how to recreate that so he could eat again. He sipped on the milkshake and looked up, realizing that five minutes had passed and _What's New Pussycat_ was still playing in the air.

"This song is a lot longer than I remember," Taako mumbled. Lup kicked his leg from under the table.

"You should be eating," she said, watching his basket of fries. _Fuck._ She noticed. Guess it was only a matter of time before she did.

"Just...not hungry, really." He saw her face deflate and he groaned. "I swear."

"I thought things were getting better." She glanced down at her burger, looking at the dent she'd made in it. _What's New Pussycat_ still played faintly behind them, a quiet reminder for Taako not to make a scene in the middle of this diner.

"They are! Come on." Taako steeled himself before taking a handful of fries and shoving them in his mouth. Lup let out one chuckle, and Taako took the opportunity to get the conversation away from this whole...thing. "Listen, it's--sometimes it's still not--just because it's bad right _now_ doesn't mean we're back at--square one."

"I guess not." Lup transferred some of her fries into Taako's basket. "You really did go hog wild on that dish yesterday."

"I'm still thinking about it." Taako prepared himself and ate them. Really wasn't in the mood to see Lup sad today.

"We should go back tomorrow, if you liked it so much." Lup took another bite of her burger, talking through the food. Seemed like things were back on track. "See if we can't buy some of their spices from the source."

"Hell yeah, I'm down to try that." He grinned, and Lup mirrored him. He heard the slow fade out of _What's New Pussycat_ behind him, and prepared to hear something less offensive on his delicate elven ears. Slowly, the song quieted, until there wasn't any music at all. And then there was silence for a moment or two. And then--

Another play of What's New Pussycat.

Taako slammed his fist on the table, shaking all the silverware and plates. "Alright, _where the fuck_ is that coming from?"

"I think the jukebox." Lup rose from her seat, trying to get a good line of sight on the jukebox. She faced away from it, though, so she couldn't see much. "Is someone over there?"

Taako sat on his legs to get a good look. One dude was standing in front of the jukebox, punching in songs that were _probably_ more Pussycats. He towered over the little neon box, having to squat down to see the available songs. Looked human from this angle, but hard to tell. A big curtain of dreadlocks blocked the person's ears. They turned their head, possibly checking to see if they had been caught yet. Taako saw a familiar face.

"Oh, shit." Taako sank back into his seat, stunned. "It's Kravitz." 

Lup said something in return, but Taako didn't hear it. His face heated up and he was right on the edge of tears again, but for an entirely different reason. _Kravitz wasn't gone._ He hadn't ruined anything. He had half a mind to rush over and buy Kravitz a drink, but the other half of him remembered that _whoops, oh yeah, Kravitz still threw him under the bus the year before._ Not that it was actually Kravitz' fault. He was frightened and overworked. But it wasn't super great to look at Kravitz' face and get mixed emotions.

"Taako?" Lup's voice was forceful, and her hand laid on his arm.

Taako snapped back into reality. "Don't kill him," he blurted out.

"I'm _not."_ Lup scanned Taako's face, trying to find any trace of discomfort. "Do you want to leave? I mean--I get that whatever happened wasn't strictly his fault, but, I don't know if you're...like, _good_ here."

"I--" Taako leaned out of his seat to look at Kravitz again. Damn. Why'd he always look so good? "I'm fine. If he wanted to reap us he'd have done it by now."

Lup let out a sharp breath through her nose, lips twisted in a wry smile. "If you want to go get him, do it."

"I'm not leaving you this year."

"You're still looking over there." Lup calmed down, gathered her thoughts, and spoke lowly. "Listen, I don't--I don't know what happened these past couple of years, and I'm not going to force you to tell me. But it would really help if I knew _some_ context, maybe." She leaned farther over the table, her voice a whisper only Taako could hear. "I don't need to know everything, but do you have a Fantasy Sparknotes version?"

With the whole reason why Taako didn't want to talk about Kravitz gone, he didn't have any excuse not to tell Lup. Well. Except for the fact that it'd put him in a way more vulnerable position than he'd like. Maybe things would be better if he told her now. She might get off his case about Kravitz if she knew that he was the same guy. That there was a future for this.

Taako prepared himself to talk, whispering over the table. "The year before last, y'know, when we got married? I followed him when he left. Eight days before the Hunger, like always." He glanced over at Kravitz one more time, felt his face heat up even more. "And, uh. When we got there--the, uh. Goddess was standing there, and she. Got him to remember."

Lup's brows knit together and she leaned farther forward, interested. "You mean, like, everything?"

"Yeah. Apparently it happens every year, like, he just. Remembers, and then he yeets himself through a portal to the next universe." Taako let out a long breath. "Only for, like, ten minutes. But I got to talk to him. Or--you know. _Actually_   him. Like, for real."

"Taako, that's--that's actually really good." She smiled, _happy_ for him. Went a lot better than Taako thought it would. "How is he?"

"Fuck, just--" Taako wanted to say he was a sap, or a dork, or some other kind of tease. But he didn't have the energy to be sarcastic, flooded with good and bad feelings swirling around in his mind. Relieved to see Kravitz again, still horrified from the memories of last year. "I can't even describe it. Just--amazing."

Lup smiled, satisfied with the answer. But then she frowned again, leaning forward. "Hey, why didn't you tell me?"

"Because--something. Shitty happened last year, and I thought--" All his thoughts from the previous year rushed back into his mind, and _nope!_ Nope, no, not going to think about that. He didn't want this moment ruined by his shitty brain. "I thought, uh. That I got his soul destroyed. And that I wouldn't see him again."

"Oh." Lup turned her head around and pointed her thumb at the jukebox. "You didn't, it looks like."

"Yeah," he said, snorted, and then broke out in panicked laughter. He hunched over the table, arm over his head, and just _kept laughing._ Let all the nervous energy from the past few weeks out. He didn't end Kravitz! He was still here, and he'd always _be_ here, and Taako would get to talk to him again.

Lup scoot out of the booth and into the seat next to Taako, alarmed. "Taako?"

He kept laughing and clung to Lup. "I thought--I thought I had _killed_ my fuckin' boyfriend, Lup. Like. _Right after_ I learned that there was some kind of future in it."

"You didn't," she said, smiling.

"I _didn't!"_ Taako hugged her. "You know what this means?"

She laughed once, hugged him back just as tight. "You're going to be unnecessarily gay again?"

"I-- _no."_  He deflated. No, he couldn't go talk to Kravitz right now. Not only did he have _the worst_ experience last year, but also? This was Lup's year. He needed to be with her. She needed him to be there. "I mean. Not right now."

"You're not going after him?"

"I know I should, but..." Taako rested his whole weight on Lup's side. He grabbed a couple more fries. They weren't actually that bad. "Fuck, I don't have the energy this year. Like, I want to talk to him, but I don't--uh, just don't want a relationship this year, y'know?"

"You know what? Fair." Lup put a reassuring hand on his back. Without the guilt of Kravitz' maybe-permadeath over his head, he enjoyed the contact a lot more. "I'm sure he'll get it. At least, he will when he remembers."

"Oh, _shit--"_ Taako hefted his bag onto the diner table and pulled out notes. "I gotta--fuckin'--figure out how I can get letters to him. We had a deal. Like, if I can get some kind of extraplanar mailbox that he can access when he, uh, remembers, then. You know." He wrote down a few ideas in quick succession, knowing he needed to get this done quick so he could slip the instructions into Kravitz' pocket tonight. "I don't, uh, think I should do anything, but, I at least want to get that all set up."

Lup hummed next to him. She might have said something, but Taako stopped paying attention. He expected her to leave his side and finish her dinner. And--sure, he dedicated this year to her, but he just needed an hour or two to hash this out. He didn't think he'd have the guts to see Kravitz long-term this year anyway. He'd get this magic mailbox running, slip the instructions into Kravitz' pocket, and leave it at that.

At least, he would if his brain was working in any capacity.

Guess the whole few weeks running off of crap food got to his brain. Not enough energy to think. Sure, fine, that might have been a dumb move, but. Also. He was bogged down with a lot of bullshit. He was _still_ bogged down with that bullshit, the only difference being that he just got a jolt to his system. Everything came crashing down on him, and he realized he _was_ having problems. Now that he was aware of it, he could actually do something about it. Could bust himself out of this rut with sheer stubbornness.

Still didn't make writing this spell any easier.

He turned away from his work to see Lup right next to him, chin on her elbows, a wild grin plastered on her face.

"What?" he asked, irritated.

"You should have a one-night stand with him," she said, every word drawn out long enough that it felt like an eternity. The grin didn't leave her face.

_"What?"_ he asked again, dropping his pen in surprise.  _What the fuck?_

"Hear me out." Lup looked over at Kravitz, and then back to Taako. "I think it'd be a good idea. Just. Y'know. To get it all out of your system."

"I'm not following." Taako squinted. Very suspicious. Lup barely approved of Kravitz before, and now she encouraged this? "How the _fuck_ would that help?"

"I've never seen you so stressed out. And, like, I know most of that was 'cause you didn't get to see your lovely and beautiful sister for two years, but." She shrugged. "It obviously won't fix anything, that's dumb. But, I dunno, it might be good to blow off some steam. Could be fun."

"Who _are_ you?"

"Still Lup, I'm afraid," she said, and laughed. "You don't have to, I know those aren't really your thing, but." Lup pointed her head towards Kravitz and the jukebox. "You already know him, it's not like you haven't seen him like that before. Just thought I'd put the idea in your head."

It was true. Sure, Taako _seemed_ like the kind of guy to like one-night stands, but he didn't. Hell no. That required being incredibly vulnerable with a stranger, _no thank you._ Especially when he was on the run--if he got hurt or something bad happened, if he contracted a disease, what would he do? Go to a doctor? No, couldn't afford that. It was safer for him and Lup to keep their hands to themselves. And the habit just sort of stuck after he got to the IPRE. The years he didn't have Kravitz, he thought about picking up some guy for a night, just to take the edge off of things, but he never had the guts to do it. Again: too vulnerable.

But could he do it if it was Kravitz?

Wouldn't solve all his problems. Wouldn't solve _any_ of his problems, but maybe it'd be a good idea to replace the thoughts from last year with pleasant memories. Lup was right, it could be a good idea to blow off a little steam. Since it was only one night, he wouldn't need to open himself up enough to make it into a long-term thing. Might make the next year they dated easier. And Taako was still a little starved of contact from the previous year.

"That's...not a horrible idea." Taako sat there, thinking about it. Convincing himself it was a good idea (didn't actually take much convincing). "Krav'd probably get a kick out of it when he remembers."

"It's hilarious, isn't it?" Lup reached over and grabbed Taako's notes and scanned them. "Again, you don't have to. But. I can figure out this extraplanar box system while you, uh." Lup scrunched up her nose in disgust. "I don't want to think about it."

"You'd really do that?"

"You'd do it for me, I know." Lup moved out of the booth and slid back to her side, away from Taako. "And I think you need a break."

Taako scooted towards the edge of the booth. "This feels like a prank."

"I told you I wouldn't hate him as much if he was the same guy." She clicked her pen and started writing notes down. "I'd like it better if he actually knew you, but. I'm just glad you're not living some delusion."

He stood out of the booth and hugged Lup on his way out. He muttered a, "thanks," into the top of her head and ignored the shrill laugh she gave in return. Taako stood next to the booth for a few moments, gathering his thoughts, and approached the jukebox.

So, here was the thing. Taako wasn't sure how to initiate this. He had never _done_ this sort of thing before. He knew how to flirt with Kravitz specifically, but that was where his expertise ended. Taako didn't know how to pick up a guy. He'd have some people make passes on him before, so he had a vague idea of how to start it, but no clue how to follow through. He knew Kravitz well enough that he thought he could bullshit his way through this, though. Kravitz _did_ say that he was always attracted to him, even though he couldn't remember.

Taako slid to the side of the jukebox, throwing his arm over the top. "You must really like _What's New Pussycat,_ huh?"

"Oh, I, um--" Kravitz took his hands off the jukebox like it had burned him. He looked at Taako with wide eyes, embarrassed. His soul must have had a real strong pull on Taako's, since Kravitz looked at him with the same awe as he always did (Taako was _sure_ he looked like a big fucking mess). He spoke quietly, not wanting to get caught. "Please don't tell the manager. I thought this would be--sort of--a fun, harmless goof."

"Nah, it's good, keep going." Taako grinned and Kravitz leaned over to put another couple quarters into the machine. Taako laid his hand on Kravitz' when he reached for another _What's New Pussycat._ "No, _wait--"_  Taako looked up at him with all the flirt he could muster. "Put in one _It's Not Unusual._ Just one. And then keep punching in more pussycats."

Kravitz punched in a few more songs and held his hand out to Taako. "May I buy you a drink?"

Taako smiled and took his hand. He was sure that people didn't usually do this when hooking up, but. Fuck, this was an outlier situation and rules were for chumps. "I'd like that."

"Oh, they don't--they don't serve alcohol here. Uh--"

"That's cool, I, uh, haven't actually eaten today, so." He shrugged. "It'd probably fuck me up too much anyway."

"If you'd like, we could get some dinner together." Kravitz looked around the diner and offered an apologetic shrug. "Not here. It's--I only came here because I saw they had a jukebox and I thought it'd be funny."

"Yeah, this place sucks." Taako tugged Kravitz by the arm, leading him to the door just as _It's Not Unusual_ started playing. "Let's get out of here."

Kravitz smiled and followed him close behind. "And your name is?"

"Taako," he said, glad that it was just as easy to speak with Kravitz as it was before. "Yours?"

"Kravitz." He smiled.

"Yeah, you look like a Kravitz." Taako tugged on his arm again, pulling him outside. "C'mon."

He could hear Lup laughing as they left the diner.

* * *

Taako brought Kravitz to one of Tesseralia's nicer restaurants, and then walked right past the front door. They went out back past the dumpsters and went down the same set of stairs Taako and Lup went down the previous night. When the dude with the graveled voice busted a nut over the coral mortar and pestle. Everyone in this restaurant's basement was a chef of some kind, even the bouncer and the wait staff. Kravitz looked out of place, but when the bouncer expressed his displeasure for his presence, Taako waved a hand.

"You have to let us in, I'm--this guy is actually going to, uh, die tomorrow, and, uh, I'm volunteering for the Fantasy Make A Wish foundation."

The bouncer squinted and crossed his arms. "What're you dying of?"

"Sensitive question, man, cut my boy some slack." Taako scoffed. "I'll call my fuckin' lawyer, I think it's illegal for you to ask that."

The bouncer didn't flinch, didn't even acknowledge Taako. He stared at Kravitz with the same amount of scrutiny a schoolteacher looks over a lying child with.

"Uh, I--" Kravitz looked to the bouncer, and then to Taako, and then back to the bouncer. He ran out of time to come up with something plausible. "Drowning?"

"Drowning," the bouncer said, unimpressed.

Taako cut in, his hand on Kravitz' shoulder. "It's--a disease where his lungs can't--can't process--the air, and--" Taako grabbed Kravitz' cheeks and pressed them together, forcing him into a fish face. "Uh, he's drowning. Right now. Very slow. Very painful."

With a sigh, the bouncer started to push the two out of the restaurant. Taako shot off a discrete spell, right in the guy's chest. The bouncer's eyes lit up and he apologized profusely. He led the two to a table and flirted with Taako on the way out. Taako ignored that. He had a way better date in front of him.

Kravitz waited until the bouncer was out of hearing range before asking, "what did you do?"

"I cast Charm Person, c'mon, we only got an hour here before he kicks our asses," he whispered, and then straightened up as a waiter (wasn't this person that cooked the previous night?) approached.

"Hey, you're back," they said. They didn't offer any menus--that wasn't how this establishment worked. They took requests, but they normally just brought over whatever new concoction was sizzling in the kitchen. "What do you want?"

"Can I get the, uh, the thing you were making last night?" Taako's appetite was back, for now, and he was going to take advantage of that.

"Ugh," the waiter scoffed, rolled their eyes. "A _real chef_ wouldn't eat the same thing two days in a row."

"Fine." Taako wasn't a fan of their attitude. Normally he wouldn't care, but _no way_ was he going to let this asshole call him a bad chef. "What're you cooking tonight?"

"We've got a pasta sandwich fusion that Loraine just figured out."

"Sure, let's go with that." Taako looked up and saw Kravitz nervously looking at the space in front of him, confused at the lack of menu. "Krav?"

"I'm going to order the thing he was talking about," he said, nervous, like a deer in the headlights if the deer decided to stand in front of the headlights for an hour instead of a few fleeting seconds. "I wasn't here to sample it before. I've heard good things."

"Great. I'll bring it over when it's ready." They turned on their heels and shouted the order into the kitchen, not even bothering to write it down. Taako made himself comfortable. This place took a while to get the food out, and he preferred that. Meant the food was fresh. Meant he had some more time to just _talk_ to Kravitz. His goal might have been to get him in a room, but. This was nice. Maybe he'd skip the booty call altogether and just get some _time_ with the guy. Their conversations were always interesting. Usually, talking about the arcane was safe. Kravitz knew a lot about the godly side of magic because of his job, and Taako knew more about the nitty-gritty technical sides of magic than he'd care to admit.

The waiter came back in what felt like seconds, but was probably close to half an hour. Time seemed to fly into the garbage when he got to have a real conversation with Kravitz. They didn't get a whole lot of chatter from the waiter, since this place was so exclusive. Taako was fine with that. It meant he could get right back to his conversation with Kravitz. He turned to look at the man of his dreams with the meal of his dreams and it was such a good picture, Taako had to sit back and admire it for a moment.

"Here." Kravitz smiled at him and pushed his plate near to Taako's side. "Let's switch."

"What--" Taako looked down at Kravitz' plate, the memory of the best meal he ever had right on the tip of his tongue. "Really?"

"Well, I do want to have one bite of this to try it, if that's alright. To see what the fuss is all about." Kravitz looked over his seat. Again, the staff was all chefs, not waiters, so they probably wouldn't come around until they thought it was time to deploy the check. "But I think it's awfully rude of them to refuse to serve you one of your favorites."

"Guess that means I should take a bite outta yours," he said, twirling his fork near the pasta sandwich menacingly. "It's only fair."

Kravitz laughed. "Feel free to." He raised his fork and took a bite, freezing with the fork in his mouth. He stared down at the plate, bewildered. _"Wow._   This--it's amazing."

"Right?" Taako took one forkful of the pasta sandwich and nodded. It was good, and spicy, but not as powerful as the plate underneath Kravitz' fork. "This is pretty fuckin' good too, actually. They're on some next level shit."

"They are." Kravitz slid his plate over to Taako's side, stealing one more bite.

"Rude!" Taako grumbled, receiving his plate. Kravitz took the other plate and Taako gripped that one too. "Oh, no--"

Kravitz grinned and pulled on the plate. "You can't withhold my meal from me."

"I can." But he didn't. He let go of the plate so Kravitz could eat. He had his prize in front of him now. The best meal of his life. Usually Taako would take his time to really savor all that was going on in the bowl, but. He did that the day before. This wasn't for business. He might have also been ignoring Kravitz, but--again, he really _felt_ something with this dish. Didn't know why. Felt like some kind of bond.

"Did I miss something in the one bite I took?" Kravitz asked, voice pitched up, just a tad nervous.

"I, uh--" Taako looked down at his plate, realized it was almost empty. Fuck, that probably looked weird, right? Except. He shouldn't be worried about looking like that in front of Kravitz, he could be even worse sometimes. "Sort of had a rough couple'a months, there, and. I wasn't eating too well."

"Oh. You forget to eat when you're stressed?" Kravitz turned from nervous to worried, leaning forward in his seat. "Aren't you a chef?"

"How'd you know?" Taako blinked. Was Kravitz getting some of his memories back? He tried not to get his hopes up, but there was always that possibility.

"You said this restaurant is chefs only." Kravitz used his fork to gesture around the restaurant. "Only making an observation. Is it true?"

Taako's heart sank back into its rightful place. Right. No memory recovery, just common sense. "A wizard and a chef, yeah." Taako looked up and saw Kravitz stifling a laugh, and he threw his napkin across the table. "What's so funny about that?"

"I don't know what else I was expecting," he said, covering a snort. He handed the napkin back to Taako, very polite. "That fits you very well."

He ignored the way his ears burned with the gesture and went to finish his meal. They fell back into polite conversation, regular fare for first meeting someone. Taako said a few things to Kravitz to freak him out _("you look like a fella with a gambling streak,")_ but otherwise didn't tease him. If their night was cut off after dinner, that'd be fine, but he was still on a little bit of a mission. He vaguely remembered Lup's challenge to him from earlier in the night, and then promptly ejected her from his mind. Not super great to think about his sister while trying to bone Kravitz.

Just as Taako was about to suggest they leave and take this somewhere else, the sound of glass shattering echoed from the entrance of the restaurant.

_"HEY!"_ The bouncer had knocked over some bottles after the spell wore off, either on accident or out of pure rage. Taako wasn't planning on staying long enough to find out which one. He pointed directly at Taako, signaling the attention of every chef in the building. "That guy charmed me to let an outsider in!"

"Whoops!" Taako jumped out of his seat and pulled Kravitz with him. "Wasn't checking the time," he said, scanning the room for exits. Their seats were at the back of the restaurant, and now all the chefs moved to block the two from running off. "Damn it!"

"Ah, wait, I can--" Kravitz grabbed Taako by the waist and a sickening darkness enveloped the both of them. Kravitz fell backwards, taking Taako with him. They were no longer in the restaurant, but in the alleyway behind the diner from before. Kravitz' back hit the wall and Taako squished him against the brick. "Oh, _fuck--"_

"Hmm, teleportation." Taako settled himself on Kravitz, letting his whole weight cover him like a blanket. "Love that."

"It's, um, a perk of my job," he said, his voice shaking. Was he always going to be so nervous on first contact? "I work for a goddess."

"Let me guess--" Taako tapped on Kravitz' shirt pocket, grinning up at him. "Raven Queen."

"Is it that obvious?" He sighed, standing up straighter and bringing Taako with him. Situated himself off of the wall. Taako had to adjust to follow him, but kept as much of his body's surface area plastered onto Kravitz as he could. "It's my color scheme, isn't it?"

"You're a cute goth, it fits." Taako looped one of Kravitz' locs around his finger, lowering his voice to make his intent clear. "Hey, think you can teleport us somewhere a little more _private?"_

"What do you--" Kravitz' face scrunched up in confusion until he realized what Taako asked. "Oh! _Oh."_ He shook his head and took a step back from Taako. "I'm sorry, I'm not really a fan of...going that far on a first date."

"Sure. That's cool." Taako shrugged. Oh well. That was the end of that. Not really all that much lost--he wasn't even sure he had the guts to go through the whole thing either. "Can I see you again?" He also wasn't planning on seeing him a second time--this was supposed to be one short thing to get him comfortable with Kravitz again. But. He had a great time, and what was the harm in having a bit more time with him later? He'd still spend the majority of the time with Lup, but he could have a couple casual dates.

"Actually, I, uh--" Kravitz coughed, and looked around. Paranoid that someone would hear him. "I work for the Raven Queen as...sort of an ombudsman. I'm only allowed out on the Material plane for one day a year."

"Oh." Taako frowned. "You're leaving soon?"

"In a few hours."

"Well," he said, stepping backwards and offering a wide grin, "you got anything you wanna do before you go back into death town?"

* * *

Neither of them slept, just wanted to keep on running through town. It had been nice. Taako didn't get to let loose at all last year, and had to look at Kravitz like an enemy. It helped to be able to just hang out with him like normal for one night. Things weren't totally repaired in Taako's mind, but it knocked him back on the right track. Things _could_ be better now that he wasn't bogged down with guilt and fear. Taako and Kravitz left the pool hall doubled over laughing and with arms intertwined. The sun started to peek over the horizon in front of them.

Kravitz sighed and detached himself from Taako. "That's me. Time to get back to work."

"Can't skip?" Taako asked, only half-joking.

"You try escaping a goddess and see how that works out." Kravitz cracked a smile and took a few steps back. "I had a really nice time, Taako. That was fun."

"Of course you did, I'm great to hang around."

Kravitz laughed, and then moved close to give Taako a quick kiss. Took him off guard, and he wasn't able to reciprocate properly, which--ugh, no, he pulled away before Taako could really get in there. Too bad. Taako waved, and Kravitz took a handful of steps back, and--

_"Wait!"_ Lup ran at top speed towards Taako, waving an envelope in the air.

"Who is _that?"_ Kravitz asked, stepping towards Taako on instinct.

"My sister."

"She looks _exactly_ like you."

"Yeah, that's how twins work." Taako ran to meet Lup, quieting down so Kravitz wouldn't hear. "What's up?"

"Instructions," she whispered, sliding the envelope discreetly into Taako's hands.

"Oh, _sweet!_ Hey, Krav, c'mere." He leaned in close to Kravitz and slipped the envelope into his coat pocket. Taako took Kravitz' chin in his hand and spoke clearly, making this as memorable as possible so it'd be at the top of his mind at the end of the year. "Don't open this until you know you have to."

Kravitz looked down at the envelope. "When will I know?"

"You'll know." Taako leaned up and kissed him again, winking as he pulled away. "Trust me."

He nodded, dazed, and stepped away from the twins. "Thank you for everything, Taako." He nodded at Lup. "And it was lovely to meet you, too."

"You'll regret those words," Lup said, and Taako snorted.

Kravitz looked at both of them, confused. The twins laughed, knowing that he'd get the joke later. He smiled once more and stepped backwards, and in the blink of an eye he was out of sight. No theatrics, no drama, nothing. He was just gone. Taako let out a breath and knocked his head into Lup's shoulder, exhausted.

Lup laid her head on top of his. "You okay?"

"Yeah." Taako drew in a breath and stood back up straight, nodding at Lup. "Yeah, for real."

"Did you fuck him?" she asked, and Taako would never understand how she could be so _casual_ about asking her _real-life_ brother if he got lucky. He didn't want to know _anything_ about what Lup had done before. For all Taako knew, she didn't even know what sex was. And he'd like to keep it that way, thank you very much.

"No, he doesn't like one night stands."

"Hm." Lup looked at the space where Kravitz left. She placed both hands on her hips and smiled. "You know, I think I like that fool."

"Really?" Taako couldn't help but grin a little.

"Really." She watched Taako, gears running through her head. He wasn't sure what she was thinking, but he figured he could let that stay a mystery. "When was the last time you ate?"

"He took me to dinner." Taako walked past her, chin in the air. "But, uh, I'm going back to the ship to make eggs. You've been making eggs wrong all year."

She ran up next to him to catch up. "You make them too dry," she said, and it might have meant to be a dig, but she was beaming so hard through her words it really didn't work.

"Yours run right off the plate." Taako pat a patronizing hand on her shoulder. Her eggs were fine, always, but he wouldn't be a good sibling if he told her so. "No wonder I couldn't stomach them."

Lup huffed and rolled her eyes. "They do not!"

"Seems like I have to teach my baby sister how to make eggs," he said, knocking his hip against hers. She punched him in the arm. They traded jabs and snark until they got to the ship, where they made their breakfast and ate all of it. Later, they would fall asleep at noon and rejoin the crew for dinner. Taako would tell Lup everything that happened the previous year, just because he had the ability now. She'd comfort him. They'd make some backup plans so they wouldn't get caught by Kravitz the next year. It would take time for things to get back to normal, but this was a good first step. And, later, Merle would use parley for the first time and die at the hands of the Hunger.

But, now, Taako enjoyed himself over breakfast with his sister, which was something he had forgotten how to do over the course of the past few years.

* * *

On the eighth day before the Hunger touched down, a little musical chime whistled out of Taako's new box.

It was a mess. Lup made it quickly, just for the purposes of getting the spell to work. Poorly constructed and made out of spare bits of wood and metal she'd found over the years. Not pretty, but functional. Maybe he'd get a better one later. For now, Taako used Lup's homemade one and placed it at the foot of his bed. It could be anywhere, as long as it was safe, and Kravitz could access it in the Astral plane.

He opened the box. Two compartments sat inside. One for Taako's letters to Kravitz, one for Kravitz' letters to Taako. A little slot in the middle held paper and a couple pens. Only one letter sat in each compartment for now. The one in Kravitz' compartment hadn't been there the last time he checked the box. Seemed like the chime worked--it was set to go off when Kravitz closed the box. He reached into both compartments and took all the paper that laid inside. Taako opened the letter from his side, rereading his own.

_hey bone man_

_uh. last year sucked. but it's cool. lup and i did a food tour and i'm feeling fine now. like, i guess i was a big fucking mess at the beginning of the year, but also i thought i killed you? so that's, like, fine. totally normal. i'm good now cause, hey, found you! how cool is that. i mean. okay, not everything is great, there's still. some bad shit up there. in the brain. but it's way better than it was before._

_anyway._

_what's up with your fixation with fantasy tom jones. is that something i'll have to expect from you every year? if so i think we need to end this. okay. wait. no. you're hot enough that i can excuse the bad music taste. but you're on thin ice_

_also i love you but that wasn't as funny_

_okay. when do you think will be the next time your bird mom won't be so uptight????? cause i'm gonna be all over you when that happens. i know i was a wreck this year but next time i'd like to actually be with you, now that i know you're real? does that make any sense. damn. and just for your fyi information, the way you kissed me at the end of the year before last? WOW, c'mon, bring that party to me a little more often why don't you. keep that in your suppressed memory bank and see if it comes through next year, babe_

_hey quick question, how is it that you look different every time i see you but you're still cute as fuck?? what crazy magic makes that happen, huh??? sculpted by some fucking goddess magic so you can flirt the pants off of me. like there's not one look you've had that i wasn't totally into, what's up with that. unfair. someone's gotta nerf your good looks._

_i'll see if barold can't get your memory kicking soon. i miss you. want to talk for real again._

_see you later, handsome xxx 6969 420_

Fuck. That was a _lot_ more embarrassing than he remembered. It took him at least seven tries to write, and it was still bad. Got too mushy at the end, there. Did he write this while drunk? He swore it wasn't so gushy the last time he read it. His ears burned reading this version of the letter. Sure, this could technically be classified as a love letter, but he didn't think he'd get this sappy with them so quick. Maybe after ten or twenty he'd be schmoopy, but right out the gate? Yuck.

The letter on Kravitz' side was only one page, and folded hastily in the middle. What if Kravitz just wrote down, "sorry, too clingy," and then broke up with him? There wasn't much of a chance for that, Kravitz was just as bad, but. Still. The fear was there.

Taako took a deep breath and opened the page.

_Taako,_

_I don't have enough words ~~to say how sorry~~ to apologize ~~about~~ for last year. I wasn't destroyed, obviously, but I did get robot-ified ~~(sounds dumb)~~ after you were (re?)captured. I should have just let you go._

_Only ~~had you (too possessive?)~~ saw you for one night this year, but I had a ~~great~~ really nice time. (??? how to make this sound genuine?? wish I could talk to you in person)_

_Fantasy Tom Jones was an outlier! My music taste is impeccable. Get bent. (oh i hope you know i'm joking. sarcasm doesn't work on paper)_

_Can't write very fast. Ten minutes too short? Wonder if there's another opt_

_SHIT_

_love you so much i swear_

_kravitz_

Taako snorted. Obviously they would have to workshop how this letter receiving business worked. It wasn't a lot of words, but Taako couldn't stop smiling at the page (note to Taako: only read these letters in private). Kravitz' handwriting became more difficult to read as the letter went on. No good for him to be so rushed. But, on the bright side, this was some raw stuff. He didn't have time to heavily edit his letter like Taako had.

But at least Kravitz could access the mailbox. They could work out the rest of this later, but Taako found a way to _communicate_ with his boyfriend that remembered him.

This would be alright.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> me, writing this chapter: if i'm going to have kravitz in this chapter i need to make it clear that taako didn't magically get over his problems once he saw kravitz again and that healing from such a traumatic experience is a slow process  
> lup, whose dialogue always catches me, the author, off guard: you should have a one night stand with him
> 
> anyway!!!!! i promise! the next chapter is a lot sweeter. just needed to address the fallout of the Bad Chapter! 
> 
> next time: office romance, somehow???? just roll with it


	11. Cycle 35

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Kravitz loses it during Euchre. Taako learns a new science fact about elves.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> just a tiny content warning, there's a scene after Taako "breaks out the B word" (boyfriend) that implies sexual things happened, but nothing goes on in writing.

_Taako,_

_I hope the last letter wasn't too long. I was rambling. Too excited about the new pen. How were you able to get it enchanted like this? Almost like I'm talking to you in person. Although, I'd prefer to have you here instead of speaking to a magic pen that writes down everything I'm saying. Except I know it's not realistic to get you over here at the end of every year. The Raven Queen won't always allow strangers in her court. I feel like I should make what I say count. We don't get a lot of years together and it's always my fault._

Taako ran through a field of wheat. He and Lup thought it would be a good idea to hide on the vast property of a dairy and grain pasture, since they spent a few years at their grandfather's farm. The two weren't good at farm work, and they figured out the best places to hide (in the silo, in with the newborn calves, out past the feeding fields) to skip out on work. Taako kept low in the field. He was stuck out there, hoping he wouldn't be found. This was another tough plane, harsh on necromancy. Kravitz came by pretty immediately, as soon as they touched the Starblaster down on the planet. Barry fired off his spells to hide the crew, but Kravitz saw Lup and Taako before Barry covered them. Once he had a visual, it was easy for him to track them manually.

_I wish I could turn off the Queen's orders when it comes to you, but she has quite the hold on my soul. Not that I would wish her to stop, nor am I regretting serving her. I just wish I knew to tell her that you weren't dangerous. She gets instructions to let me out of the plane every year, but I wish there was a way I could tell her about the seven of you. Even though she is very accommodating to me, I still have to follow the laws of whatever plane we land in. I'd rather if the laws weren't so strict. I don't like it when people cheat death as much as the next emissary, but there should be exceptions for people in your situation. I know you didn't ask for this. I know I didn't._

Lup was gone. She and Taako split off so Kravitz couldn't chase the both of them. Taako kept low in the wheat field. He would be able to rejoin with Lup and Barry could get them protected. Things would be alright. Right? They had to be. Taako needed a good year--things had been rough for a while. Three years of getting captured in a row. It would have been better if he was able to get into the Raven Queen's throne room to have his ten minutes with Kravitz, but the past few planes were harsh on outsiders coming to see the goddess. They had to settle for letters.

At least they figured out a better way for Kravitz to get letters out. Taako enchanted one of Lucretia's pens to record any speech it heard, so his letters were longer and endlessly sappy. Taako wished the Raven Queen would lighten the hold Kravitz had on him some years. He wanted to hear this sap in person.

_I hope you know that--that I do regret the years I catch you. I lived a few centuries in service to my Queen before getting wrapped up in all this mess, and in all that time I've never felt as guilty as I do in the ten minutes I come back. Sometimes when I remember everything I've done at the end of the year, I can barely move to access the mailbox. It's...a lot to feel all at once. Especially the years when I've done something irredeemable. I know that's not much of an excuse, and I know it's worse for you to deal with it. If I had all my faculties, I'd rather you stay on the Material plane with your family. It would be nice if I could be there with you, too. But I'd prefer you be safe and away from me than with me and dead. I know you don't like to hear that, but your death count keeps getting higher because of me. All because I--fuck, I guess you could call me a workaholic._

Taako heard Lup shouting off in the distance and winced. She didn't get caught very often. Usually he was the one that fucked up and got the blunt end of Kravitz' scythe.

_I can't undo the years where things went south, but I can prevent future tragedies._

He heard Kravitz read Lup her rights and kept running. She'd kill him if he died because of her.

_You're very good at hiding, I'll say that. There's not much I can say to help you on that end. Whatever Barry is doing, tell him to keep it up. If I can't see your soul, I can't teleport directly behind you for a sneaky reaping. I still might be able to find you just by sheer chance. Guess that's the downside of being pulled towards your soul. I wasn't lying when I said I was drawn to you...Oh. Hm. Fuck. Uh, I winked, but the pen didn't write it down. Fuck. Damn it. Shit._

Taako considered running into the silo, but that would require that he run out of the wheat. If Kravitz was crafty enough to catch Lup, he'd be able to see Taako bolt for the hills. Maybe if he could get to the other side of the field while Kravitz was searching on this side, he'd be able to Blink out of there and make his escape. It'd suck to do a year without Lup, but he could do it. It would be a hard year for him, to be missing Kravitz _and_ his sister, but Taako was at the point where he _enjoyed_ the rest of the crew's company. Sure, he had his favorites, but it was nice to have a group to rely on, as much as that thought gave Taako a headache.

He'd get out of this chase and back to the Starblaster, and everything would be fine.

_But, I know you won't always get away. I'm stubborn when I need to be._

Kravitz found him.

_I know it's tempting to fight me off, but if I have you cornered, don't. Some planes give harsher sentences if you attempt to harm a bounty hunter. Just give up if you think you can't run. If you give a verbal surrender, there are usually systems in place to lighten your sentence. At the very least, it means that your death will be painless. There's some real nasty shit that we've used in some planes. Luckily, I don't think I caught you in those years._

Fuck. Kravitz must have seen Taako walking through the wheat--it wasn't like there was any wind to hide his movements. He wondered if he should run or surrender. Kravitz' advice told him to surrender, and Taako _somehow_ trusted him enough to take that chance. Taako made himself visible in the wheat, walking out into a clearing so Kravitz could see. He dropped his wand on the ground and held his hands out.

He pushed away the thought of how nice Kravitz looked this year. An elf this time. It was pretty rare for him to be an elf--more often a half-elf or just a plain human--but it was a cute look on him. Everything was cute on him. Taako knew he couldn't get distracted, he had to focus on getting through the year.

"Hey, uh, l--look, homie, this, uh--this's been fun, real nice, but, uh." Taako stumbled through his words. He wasn't _afraid,_ not really, but he did want to seem as non-threatening as possible. This wouldn't work if Kravitz thought there was a chance that Taako would turn on him midway through a surrender. "I'm all done here, you can--you can take me to ghost jail, that's cool."

Kravitz blinked, lowering his scythe. "You're surrendering?"

He nodded. "Yeah."

"That's the second one today..." Kravitz scratched his head, confused out of his mind. "Fuck, are you an illusion? You look exactly like the other one."

"That was my sister," he said, knowing things would work better if he told the truth.

"Huh." Kravitz lifted his scythe back up, preparing to get his job done. He was a lot less intimidating now that the chase was over. Felt more like a dentist about to fill a cavity than a man come to take Taako's soul away. "Well, since you surrendered, I'll make this quick--"

"Do I get a trial?"

"You'll have to, your sister already requested one," Kravitz said, his ear twitching to the side. Annoyed. Nice that Taako had a built-in mood meter for Kravitz during this high-stakes negotiation. "Don't try anything funny."

"Dropped my wand, I can't do _jack shit."_ Taako raised his arms in the air and turned in a circle. "Do I look like I can do anything to hurt you?"

"Not really."

Taako raised his arm to his face, dramatic and extra as fuck. "Oof, ouch, _sick burn."_

"Would you just-- _ugh."_ Kravitz drew a hand over his face. Must have been exhausted chasing Lup and Taako around the farm all day, poor guy. Or. Well, no, Taako didn't feel sympathy for the dude trying to kill him (his sympathy was with the man waiting for him at the end of the year). "Come here, I'll make this easy."

"Sure," Taako said, walking up to Kravitz. He turned his back to him and placed his hands behind them, so Kravitz could see what he was doing. He paused, perhaps wondering why two of his bounties were so compliant today. Taako wished he'd just get this over with. Dying wasn't ever _fun._ Just a nuisance (which, maybe that was a bad way of thinking of it too? But it was certainly a step up from thinking it was _fun)._ He just wished Kravitz would swing his scythe and get this over with.

Before he could complain any further, Taako died.

_Depending on the laws of the plane, you might be able to bargain for your life. Don't give up anything too valuable. The easiest thing to give up is time, since you have that in large supply. A few planes have a reform system, so you might be able to work with me for a year. You would look great in a bounty hunters' cloak. You would also look great out of--no, shit, wait, I'm not going to give you a shitty pickup line in a love letter. That's your job._

Kraitz led Taako into the Raven Queen's court. Kravitz kept a hold on his back so he wouldn't run. Not that Taako could do much. Right now, he was just a soul, slightly translucent like most souls were. Kravitz didn't speak--fuck, why'd he have to be so dry and official? Was it just because that's how he was this year, or was he just silent out of respect for his goddess? Taako hoped it was the second one. Lup, also a transparent soul, sat across from the Raven Queen, ankles bound to her seat. No chance of escape. The Raven Queen wasn't as tall or large as she had been in previous cycles. She took the face of a dark elf here. Whether that was because she wanted to present herself differently between two mortals or if that was just how she looked here was unknown.

Once Lup saw the two walk into the hall, she waved. Kravitz furrowed his brows and waved back awkwardly, until he realized she probably meant to wave to Taako. Both twins snickered at that, which might have looked bad on their character for the trial if the Raven Queen didn't also laugh.

Taako took a seat next to Lup. With a wave of Kravitz' hand, his ankles were also bound to the seat. Without any words, he went and stood to the right of the Raven Queen, both eyes on the twins. The Raven Queen watched both the twins, and then Kravitz, and then the twins again. Thinking. Analyzing.

"It's not every day that two criminals request a trial," the goddess finally said, her chin in her hands. "Usually you are all aware of the crimes you've committed."

"Well, uh, no offense, but this ain't even _close_ to ordinary." Taako tried to kick his feet, but the magic shackles did a real good job of stopping him. "Not like we _wanted_ to drive all over the multiverse running fr--"

The Queen raised one hand in the air, stopping his sentence by force. "Your sister has informed us of your situation. It seems...difficult." She frowned, looking genuinely apologetic. "Unfortunately, we still can't let you run free, even with your circumstances. Kravitz has already reaped the two of you, and we can't resurrect you. That is against my rules."

"So, what? That's it? We're done here?" Taako threw his arms in the air and groaned. He crossed his arms across his chest, staring directly at Kravitz. "Great job, calling us in for a fuckin' trial, like, what was the point of this? So you can rub in our faces how bad we are at dying?"

_"Taako,"_   Lup said, air hissing out of grit teeth.

"I just think it's _bad manners,_ the way they're dangling freedom right in front of our eyes!" Taako knew he was being an ass, but he wasn't going to spend another year in a cell, no sir. Did that three years in a row already. He wasn't going to let _Lup_ spend a year in a cell. Taako knocked his foot up against his chain bindings, impatient. "This is bullshit. Is there a complaint desk I can report this to?"

"We've already come to an agreement." The Raven Queen shook her head and pinched the bridge of her nose, regretting this whole trial. "You're not in trouble. At least, as long as you calm down."

"Oh." Taako stopped kicking, intrigued now. "Hold on, what's the plan?"

"Work for me until you are pulled out of this plane, and I will consider your friends' debts to me waived for the year." The Raven Queen looked over Taako with calculating eyes as she explained her offer. Felt like she was weighing his soul or some other bullshit like that. "In the event that this-- _thing_ your sister described doesn't come, then we can settle the debts of your friends. But if it's true that this is temporary, I'm sure there's not much I can do to force your team to stay here."

"Really?"

"Really," she said, and two contracts appeared in front of Lup and Taako, along with two feather quills.

"I think we should do it, Taako." Lup scrawled her name down at the bottom the second the quill and paper became available to her. "I'm totally down for being a death cop."

"Yeah, sounds like--uh, like a good plan." Taako took the quill pen and stroked the feather in between his fingers, scanning over the text in the contract. It was unreadable, although Taako couldn't tell if that was because of the handwriting or if it was in some secret god language. "Although, uh, I usually _read_ contracts before signing them."

"It's not as if you have much of a choice," the goddess said, chin raised in the air. "It's either take the offer or spend a year in the Stockade."

Taako shrugged and signed the contract. "Fuckin' yolo," he said, flicking the pen off of the parchment with a flourish.

Kravitz held back a snicker, the first crack in his official facade Taako had seen this year.

"What was that, Kravitz?" The Queen turned her head to watch him, a gleam in her eye.

He coughed and stammered for a few moments. "Nothing, my Lady, it's just that--you know, he, um--" Kravitz straightened his back and returned to the horribly professional mask he'd been using this year. "Can't really say 'yolo' if he's lived significantly more than once."

The Queen covered a hand over her mouth and let out a quiet laugh. "I suppose not," she said, and stood from her throne. The shackles on Lup and Taako's feet fell to the ground, and they both stood. "Alright, shall we get this started?"

"Get what started, exactly?" Lup asked, both brows raised.

"Right now, the two of you are just souls. Your bodies are back in the Material plane, decomposing like they're meant to." The Raven Queen signaled Kravitz. She held his arm in her hands, his skin flickering out like a light to show the bones underneath. "The constructs of my bounty hunters are made from their own souls, just expanded and solidified. There's just a tiny bit of soul processing we have to do to make this work."

Lup winced, sucking air through her teeth. "Does that hurt?"

"It would if you had any nerves," she said, laughing, "but that's not a problem for you right now, is it?" This time, her laughter was accompanied by a chorus of raven's caws, sewn into her voice. A lot more terrifying than the polite little chuckle from earlier. 

Lup and Taako didn't think that was as funny as she did. Lup grabbed Taako's hand, squeezing it so hard that it would hurt if they were still alive. The Raven Queen either didn't notice their concern or didn't care.

"It really doesn't hurt," Kravitz said, offering a nervous but comforting smile.

That was enough to get Lup to chill out, at least. She kept a grip on Taako, but that was pretty normal. The Queen clapped her hands together and grinned wide. "Alright, so, we should get started, shouldn't we?"

Taako clicked his tongue. "Uh, yeah, hi, I've got a question."

"Of course."

"It's, uh." Taako looked at Kravitz and then back at the goddess. "It's private?"

"...Of course," she repeated, and then snapped her fingers. Not in an impatient way, but more like a ringmaster about to introduce a new act. More of a performer's trick than anything malicious. "Kravitz, would you take Lup to the processing chamber?"

"Yes, my Lady," he said. He took one extended look at Taako before leading Lup out of the room. Lup wasn't too thrilled about getting separated, but she'd deal. It would only be for a little while. They'd get a whole year together as death cops. This year, they would make up for the three years they were separated. They'd get a lot of time. Still, Lup needed him _now._ And he needed her. Again, that was probably unhealthy and codependent, but, also Taako didn't give two shits about that.

The Raven Queen coughed, sending Taako out of his thoughts. "Speak, my child."

"Well, uh, I--" Now that Taako was here, alone in front of a goddess, he felt a lot less confident. He wanted to ask about Kravitz, if she could get him to remember anything, but. He just escaped a year in the Stockade, would she blow up on him if he asked her for another favor? But he already got to this point, he figured she'd be angrier if she thought he wasted her time. "Your, uh, that dude--Kravitz? He's. Uh. Also a new hire, right?"

"That's correct." She tilted her head to the side, curious. "How did you know?"

He figured she'd smite him if he lied to her, so he went with the truth. "I've, uh, run into him before."

"In other planes?"

"Yeah." Taako fidgeted in place. Normally he wouldn't be so nervous asking for a favor, he could get what he wanted when he needed it. But. This was a _goddess._ And no matter how little stock Taako put in that sort of thing, his boyfriend _was_ very loyal to her and he figured he should. Fuck. Respect that? At least a little. Enough to keep Kravitz out of trouble. "Does he--uh, do you know if you can. Get him to remember all of that junk?"

"It is true that I received his soul not too long ago, and that it had instructions to go along with it," she said, although the tone of her voice didn't give Taako any hope on how positively she meant to end this conversation. "But I'm afraid I can't stray from the systems put in place. I know very little of what is going on. I don't wish to tamper with what little information I _have_ been given. Who knows what it would do?" She looked at him apologetically, hands clasped together. "All I know is that it's in Lady Istus' hands. Fate is not my area of expertise."

"Oh." Taako looked down to the ground, disappointed. "That's. Fine, I guess."

The silence hung around the hall for longer than Taako would have liked. Fuck. Did his question or his response count as blasphemy or something? Eventually, though, the Queen let out a breath, and Taako felt a chill on his shoulder. She stood right in front of him, her hand on his shoulder and kind eyes pointed right through his soul.

"If it helps, there aren't any rules against workplace romance in my domain," she said, a soft smile planted on her face. "Just don't distract him too much."

Taako squeaked out a single chuckle. "Didn't think I was being that obvious."

"You weren't." The Raven Queen looked out in the direction Lup and Kravitz left. "I've just never seen him laugh before."

Butterflies fluttered from Taako's stomach all the way up his spine and shoulders. Good to know there was a chance of something this year. He hadn't had an actual relationship with his boyfriend for about six years (the year in Tesseralia didn't count--that was just one night) and was itching for some Kravitz time. The letters were never enough. He needed something solid, he needed contact and long conversations. Letters were nice when he needed a reminder, but letters couldn't curl up with him in bed and love him unconditionally.

"You'll have to tell me about your travels during your free time." The Raven Queen took him out of his own thoughts again, a smug smile on her face. "But you and your sister will be on Kravitz' schedule until your probation is over. Make sure to behave."

"Yeah, for sure," Taako said, knowing that his face would be burning if he had skin or blood.

_If you're stuck in the Stockade and trying to get me to favor you, don't try to flirt with me immediately. I'll think it's a trick or a scheme; also, I'm quite dense. Do you know how difficult it is to tell if you're flirting? I can't tell you how many times I've thought you were just being friendly. Not that I'm complaining, you're wonderful. I'm just. Uh. You know. Bad? At this? Just try to befriend me instead of outright flirting with me. I can get lonely sometimes. Most of the time._

Taako and Lup got the hang of their new not-bodies pretty well. They required significantly less care than a normal flesh body, and without any neurons, they could control their bodies a lot more precisely than their flesh counterparts. They were always cold, but that didn't turn out to be as much of a problem as they first thought. Couldn't even feel it.

Training was more of an issue. Kravitz had them working for a week and a half straight. No breaks, no sleep, nothing. He swore it was easier to transition into the new body if they occupied themselves with work, but it was exhausting. Not physically. Mentally and emotionally, it's difficult to keep on going twenty-four seven. It felt like they _had_ to rest, or to eat, but they didn't. Super weird. Lup got the jitters. Taako completely shut down a few times. They expected Kravitz to blow up and get angry, but all he did was offer encouraging words and remind them that this was what the training was for. Nobody expected them to get a hold of the construct bodies immediately, that's why they were assigned low level jobs first. So Kravitz could take care of it in one sweep if something went wrong.

Kravitz acted pretty rowdy on the job. Possessed random objects to scare off bounties. Yelled at necromancers in cockney. Played risky card games to barter for souls (which Taako and Lup had to rig so that he'd win, he was so bad). Insulted his marks and made shitty jokes when he missed his attack rolls. When the twins asked why he didn't have as much fun chasing them, Kravitz shrugged and said that they had a really high bounty. Didn't want to risk losing them.

Taako and Lup grinned, played along, tapped into their naturally chaotic side on the job. Played twin bullshit pranks on bounties. Taako was good at it, but it was like Lup was _made_ for this bullshit. She went along with all of Kravitz' games, improved on them, _thrived_ in the wacky workplace environment Kravitz set up. Lup got along with him well when she wasn't actively trying to kill him. Taako had to forcibly stop himself from making doe-eyes at the friendly brother-sister relationship the two started to cultivate. He didn't get a great deal of alone time with the guy, but he liked _this_ all the same.

Now that he and Lup were on the same page with Kravitz, he _really_ wanted her to like him.

"Alright, you two did a really good job so far. You've got three days off." Kravitz smiled, quietly opened his locker. "Think of it like a long weekend, alright?"

"Time off?" Lup looked over at Taako and grinned, excited. "We get that?"

Kravitz laughed once, placing a few pieces of equipment from work into the locker and taking out a personal bag. "It would be awfully rude of our Lady if you didn't."  

"Can we go visit our crew?" Lup asked, ever hopeful. Right, they didn't have a chance to... _tell_ anyone about their new job. They must have thought the twins were locked in the Stockade.

"You're both still on probation, so you can't roam the Material plane as you wish yet..." Kravitz carefully shut the locker door and slung his bag over his shoulder. "I could escort you, though."

"Oh, sweet," Taako said, just as Lup muttered, "you'd do that?"

"I _was_ the one that...um, that took you away from them in the first place. It's only fair." Kravitz' ears lowered a little, pinned towards his skull, and Taako was _very_ thankful for the race he got this year. He'd have to find some way to get rid of that guilt later. "And I'm very curious how you all got into this mess."

Lup rolled her eyes. Oh. Taako must have been staring. "Can we go now?" she asked, barely masking her amusement.

Kravitz nodded once. "I need to change out of my uniform, but yes."

"Isn't it just a construct?" Taako tipped his head to the side, knowing this was going to push some of Kravitz' buttons. But. Fuck, if he wasn't fun to tease like this. "Can't you do that right here?"

"I--" Kravitz' eyes widened and his eyes flicked over to Taako for _just_ a fraction of a second. "I can, but I feel like that's. Um. I feel like there still need to be boundaries established amongst coworkers."

"Fair," Lup said through a smile. Seems as if she caught that. "We should probably change too."

"O-o-oor..." Taako tilted his head so it knocked against Lup's shoulder. He winked, grin so wide it cut his face in half. "We can pretend like we're brainwashed and coming for the rest of the crew."

Kravitz put both hands on his hips, coy smile and all. "I feel like it would be cruel to use your powers for that."

"It was also cruel of you to use your powers to possess that doll in the necromancer's den," Lup said, nose in the air.

Taako snorted and played along, both hands on his hips. Mimicking Kravitz. "Like, _Je-sus,_ I think that belonged to the dude's kid. That'll give 'im nightmares."

Lup lit up, happy to play this game. "Kid'll be on the watch for haunted dolls their whole life."

"They should get an alarm or something." Taako spoke through fits of laughter, as he always did when he and Lup went on a dumb tangent. "One a' those hurricane sirens, they should just--install one of those outside the kid's bedroom windo--"

Taako got cut off by a shrill _boop boop-a-bloop-a-boop-a_ noise, turned to see it coming out of Kravitz' mouth. His eyes widened once he saw the twins staring at him and clasped a hand over his mouth, shame washing over him like a tidal wave.

"What was _that?"_ Taako asked, unable to hide his grin.

"It--it was--um--the alarm, you said--" Kravitz coughed, his ears pinned to the side of his head. "Y'know, just, sort of a, haunted doll watch alarm. Is what I was going for there."

Lup broke into laughter first, so hard and abrupt that she cried. Taako wasn't too far behind, sputtering out a broken laugh half out of nerves (fuck, how could Kravitz make him feel _nervous?_ Should be illegal) _._ Kravitz' ears went back even farther, his mouth clamped shut. Despite his embarrassment, there was a faint trace of a smile on his lips. It was going to be real fun to mess with him this year. "We should get going," he squeaked out, shoulders raised. "Meet me by the door here in ten minutes, I'll portal us to your ship."

They kept laughing even as Kravitz walked away. "I know I said I support you two fully now, but I'm thinking of retracting that," Lup said, wiping a tear from her eyes.

Taako leaned his back on the lockers and watched Kravitz leave. "He's no worse than Barold _sleep jorts_ Bluejeans, y'know."

The ten minutes were granted. Kravitz came back with his official persona back in full force. He didn't have his full uniform on, just a nice shirt and some slacks, but it was still a pretty guarded look. Taako couldn't fault him for that. He used clothes as a shield all the time. Incredibly effective. It just made the times where Kravitz legitimately dressed down even better.

Lup talked Taako out of going into the Starblaster in full uniform. Which--sure, that wasn't fun. But the look on Kravitz' face when he saw Taako dressed down was well worth it. Not that Taako ever wore anything _conventionally_ attractive, just as many layers as his body could hold, but Kravitz enjoyed it all the same. It was cute how obvious the dude's crush was. All it took was one week of keeping a friendly coworker rapport for Taako to have the dude wrapped around his finger. Kravitz _did_ tell him not to flirt with him immediately, but it looked like Taako wouldn't have to try very hard once he decided he could make a move without freaking Kravitz out.

Kravitz ripped a portal to the Starblaster common room, and allowed Lup and Taako to step through first so that he wouldn't be attacked on sight. Magnus _did_ attack Lup on sight with a hug though. Someone had to suffer a casualty. At least Taako kept his distance. No amount of years with this crew would make him okay with Magnus' bear hugs--he had to swear not to crush Taako on the rare days he accepted a hug.

With the puppy-dog look in Magnus' eye, it seemed like today was one of those days. Taako sighed and opened his arms just a bit, thankful that Magnus didn't crush his spine in half.

It took a lot of explaining to get the crew to understand what exactly went down. At least nobody tried to murder Kravitz. He stood off to the side, nervously watching the crew reunite, unsure of what his place in the conversation was. Nowhere, probably. He was just there to make sure Lup and Taako didn't run off. Davenport took pity on him about an hour in and dropped a glass of wine in his hands, asked him if he wanted to play Euchre with him and Merle.

It really was fascinating to watch Kravitz shift from polite conversation to absolute disgust when talking to Merle for the first time.

Taako didn't have much time to watch Kravitz, though, because Barry poked and prodded at his ribs. Took all his attention away from the hottest dude in the common room.

"Mind if I do some experiments?" Barry asked, lifting up Taako's shirt to poke at his skin. Where the fuck did this guy's boundaries go when science was on his mind?

"Why don't you do them on Lup?" It was a bombshell of a question and Taako knew it. He heard Lup gawk behind him. And, yeah, it might have been petty of him to try and set them up, but he wouldn't _have_ to if they'd stop dragging their feet. Taako knew about Lup's side of the crush since cycle  _seventeen,_ they needed to act on it already. He gave Lup enough time to handle this on her own, he figured he could do a little nudging.

Barry stepped backwards, face immediately red. "Oh, uh, I don't know, I'd, rather do them on you, since, uh, we've been working on this research together--"

"What research are you talking about?" Lup draped herself over Taako's shoulders, genuinely curious. "Can I help?"

"Uh--" Barry looked over at Kravitz at the Euchre table. "Might want to talk about it in private."

"Oh." Right, they still hadn't told Lup about their plan. Too worried that she'd get angry at Barry for enabling Taako. But, now she didn't mind Kravitz, so it couldn't hurt to bring her on board. Lup turned her head to watch Barry for a few seconds. She side-eyed Taako for a few seconds more. Then, she grinned right at Barry, bright and open. "I think I would like to help out, then. If that's cool."

That only made the poor dude _more_ nervous. "It's--really not that--pleasant, I do have to kind of--poke around your, uh, construct, and your soul--"

_"Barry,_ chill. It's fine." Lup pried herself off of Taako and grabbed Barry by the arm. "I know you wouldn't do anything without telling me first." Lup tugged on his arm, towards the lab, but didn't forcibly pull him there. Waited for him to walk with her. "Let's go."

Barry shot an extremely nervous grin to Taako and followed Lup into the lab. Taako shook his head, amused and disappointed in the two of them. They played on easy mode, with both of them able to remember each other at all times, and still couldn't get together. How did _that_  happen? It was like someone else took over his sister's body when it was time for her to flirt. She was the confident one at all other times, why was this different?

Hopefully Barry wouldn't _change_ her when they actually got together.

With Barry and Lup gone, the common room was quieter. Kravitz lost the game of Euchre, threw his arms up in the air with a huff while Merle laughed. Taako couldn't hold back a snicker, either. Kravitz hated losing. He turned back to listen to whatever the fuck Magnus was talking about ghost jail, and faced two smug smiles from Magnus and Lucretia.

"What?" Taako asked, ears flicking downwards.

"Just funny," Lucretia said, hand covering her smile, "how both of you are just _like that."_

"Like _what?"_ Taako tried his best to sound intimidating, but it just came out as defensive.

"Does Lup have a crush on Barry?" Magnus smiled too wide. Ugh.

"I'm committed to a vow of silence." Taako raised his nose in the air. Nobody but him and Lup needed to know about her love life. Well. Barry probably needed to know. But it wasn't Taako's job to tell him.

"I think she does." Magnus puffed his chest out. "She looks at him the same way you look at Kravitz."

"I don't _look_ at Kravitz any special way," he said, turning his head to look at Kravitz at the table behind him, still yelling at Merle about cheating.

"You know that's a lie," Lucretia said, smug as hell.

Taako rolled his eyes. Just because _he_ knew he was super into Kravitz didn't mean that he liked it when people called him out on it. "You have no proof and you know it."

"Oh!" Lucretia tilted her head and looked behind Taako, offering a polite wave. "Hello, Kravitz."

Heart in his throat, Taako whipped his head around to see--nothing. Nobody. Kravitz still sat at the table with Davenport and Merle. Arguing, voice cracking over some bullshit rule Merle tried to place on him. Taako must have had some funny look on his face because Magnus and Lucretia went off, laughing and carrying on. Taako kicked Magnus in the shin. Didn't do any damage, but felt pretty nice.

"Very funny," Taako said, voice tight, "like, _super_ great of you."

"Buddy, it's not like it's a bad thing that you're _in love."_   Magnus leaned forward to offer Taako a pat on the back or something, but took his hand away when he saw the toxic glare Taako threw in his direction. "Are you going to make a move?"

"Not yet, got specific instructions tellin' me to wait a bit before doing anything." Taako leaned forward, slumped over himself, hands clasped and dangling between his legs. "Gotta wait until we're, uh, friends first."

Lucretia blinked three times, slowly, and then stood out of her seat. She coughed and projected her voice much louder than she normally did. "Kravitz! Would you like to see the rest of the ship?"

Kravitz stopped his argument immediately, all attention on Lucretia. Or. Most attention on Lucretia. His eyes did wander to Taako a couple times, just out of habit. Davenport mumbled something that only Kravitz and Merle seemed to hear, and Kravitz left the table. "Are you sure you want me poking around your ship?"

"I definitely don't want you poking around, but Taako can give you the grand tour." Lucretia turned and winked at Taako.

He shrugged. "Only if you want to, I know it's kinda boring."

"You can only call it boring because you've been here for so long," Kravitz said, eyes wandering all over the ship's common room. Still, he couldn't stop glancing at Taako. Dumbass thought he was smooth, stealing a glimpse or two. Taako saw right through that. "I think it's fascinating."

Taako nodded once. Sure. If Lucretia was going to give him alone time with Kravitz, he'd take it. "Let's take a tour, then, if you're so horny for it."

"I'm not _hor--horny for--"_ Kravitz sputtered and all of his higher brain functions screeched to a halt. When his voice came back, it was shot, loud, and in the wrong octave. "What the _fuck_ do you mean by that?"

"You've never heard the phrase _horny for this one?"_   Taako grinned wide, wondering how far he could take this. "It's, like, you're excited about something."

"You know, it's like, you go out to a concert and the crowd's cheering really loud?" Magnus asked, finger raised in the air. He waited for Kravitz to nod, and then pointed the raised finger square at his chest. "They horny for that one."

"That sounds fake." Kravitz crossed his arms. Two seconds away from exploding again.

"You should leave and take him on the tour before the poor guy busts a nut," Merle said, both feet propped up on the Euchre table.

Kravitz watched Merle, eyes wide. He stalled. Oh, great, Merle _broke_ Kravitz. _"WHAT?"_   he asked, voice so loud it shook the ship. Magnus and Taako sputtered out wheezing laughs as Davenport pinched his nose and Merle let out a concerned, "what?"

This only made Kravitz angrier. "What do you mean, _what?_ Don't you give me-- _no,_ don't you give me that face!" He waggled his finger at Merle, who only looked more confused. "You know ex _-atctly_ what you've done!" He sure looked wound up. Taako assumed Merle pissed him off right at the edge of his limits during the game, and he only popped now. "You _cannot_ just _say_ things like that!"

Merle raised a brow and crossed his arms across his chest. "Jeez, is that all it takes to get you to bust a nut all up in my face?"

_"NO!"_ Kravitz slapped his hand on the Euchre table and walked towards the exit, steam fuming out of his ears. "No way, I'm done, I fucking quit. I'm going to go die _again,_ it was _so_ nice meeting all of you."

Taako snickered and ran up to grab Kravitz' arm. "Come on," he said, trying not to laugh so much. Wanted to diffuse the situation, not make it worse. "Let's get you away from Plantfucker Highchurch."

Kravitz nodded once, exhausted, and Taako led him out onto the deck. He could tell the air was cool, but it didn't feel as cold as it should have been. Did Kravitz feel like this all the time? Weird. Taako walked to the railing and looked below. Davenport hadn't parked the ship yet. It slowly circled the planet, just on autopilot. Barry must not have seen where the Light fell. Usually, Davenport would have parked the ship by now. Luckily, the planet had a good sized population, which meant it'd be easy to track technological progress and find the Light that way. Taako wanted to check out the cities later, the next time he had some off time.

Maybe Kravitz would come with him.

"That was quite a tantrum you had over there," Taako said, ending it on a half-chuckle.

"I was _restraining_ myself." Kravitz still looked one second away from exploding, shoulders stiff and hands clasped together. He looked out past the railing of the Starblaster, eyes wild and furious.

Taako knocked his arm into Kravitz'. As funny as this was, he didn't like to see his (not current) boyfriend upset. He'd seen Kravitz blow up before, and it was kind of comical, but he couldn't laugh _too_ much at it. He was still angry, and Taako should. Deal with that. "You're really angry about this? I mean. Merle says dumb shit all the time."

"I apologize, that's." Kravitz took in a deep breath, relaxing his hands on the railing. There were indents in his palm from where his nail dug into them. "That was unprofessional. I do get a bit snippy sometimes."

"Hey, we're not on the clock, yell at Merle as much as you want."

Kravitz shook his head, his eyes cast down on the horizon. "I don't want to leave a bad impression on your friends."

"I'm sure they loved it." Taako rested his elbows on the railing. "I know I did," he said, meaning more than the tantrum.

"Thank you, Taako." Kravitz took a few more moments to compose himself and then walked away from the side of the ship. "I think the tour is a good idea, a walk should clear up my head pretty well."

The tour with Kravitz went as most of them went. He wasn't a mechanic, but few people wouldn't be impressed by the marvel that the Starblaster was. The bond engine whirred in a low hum when the two approached it, and he listened to Taako's too-scientific ramble of how it worked (Fuck. Shit. Now this Kravitz knew he was a _nerd)._ They skimmed personal rooms, partly because there wasn't much exciting about the _bathrooms,_ and partly because he didn't want to subject Kravitz' eyes to Merle's personal belongings.

Although, he did pause when he got to the door to his own room. Kravitz had been in there a lot of times, and he wondered if he should take him in. Was that too forward? Or was that just part of the tour? Fuck, Taako didn't know how any of this worked.

"This is your room?" Kravitz asked, when they didn't go straight past the door.

"Yeah." Taako laid his hand on the knob, brows raised. "Want to check it out?"

"Only if you're okay with that."

That was fine. Taako pushed the door open. Kravitz followed close behind, not wanting to intrude too much on the space. Just looked around the room from one singular spot, inspecting things from a distance. Not that he could move around very much, either--most of the Starblaster's rooms were tiny (Lucretia and Davenport had the biggest ones, just from their positions in the hull). If this was a more complete Kravitz, he'd be joking around and working himself into the space. But Kravitz didn't know him very well yet. He had a right to be nervous.

"You're very messy." Kravitz kept his hands behind his back, and smiled at Taako. "I'm not surprised."

"Got a problem with that?"

Kravitz shook his head, calm. "They say creative people are more disorganized." He twisted his head to look at all the piles of tools and trinkets Taako accumulated over three decades. His eye caught a long, thin pole. "A fishing pole? You fish?"

"I'm a man of many facets." Taako reached into that pile and pulled out an oven mitt with _I'll feed all you fuckers_ written in the palm. "I also bake."

"Why do you have an oven mitt in your room, though?"

"Y'know, for when I bake an entire tin of muffins and take them into here so Magnus doesn't eat them."

Kravitz laughed, and it was still one of Taako's favorite sounds. "May I take a look at your shelf?"

"Don't have to ask," he said, throwing the mitt back into the abyss.

"I do, actually." Kravitz stepped to the bookshelf and gawked. There _were_ a lot of books on his shelf. "Oh. I wasn't expecting scientific journals."

"This used to be, uh, an exploratory mission," he murmured. It was a lot easier to pretend he didn't know as much as he did, and it was a little terrifying to let Kravitz have this information about him. "Lup and I were hired as magic experts."

Kravitz flipped through a binder that Taako stuck all his research papers in. "Are you a _doctor?"_

"Not technically anymore, I guess, just, uh--" Taako ran a hand through his hair. Fuck. Why was he so self-conscious about Kravitz looking through his papers? That was something he should be bragging about, right? So why did he feel so meek? "That was from my home plane."

"You're a very accomplished wizard." Kravitz shut the binder and placed it back on the shelf. "You should use more of these skills out on the battlefield."

Taako backed up towards the door. "We've been stuck doing the baby training shit, I'm not pulling out my good stuff while you've got us out in tutorial mode."

"Fair enough." Kravitz followed him to the door, realizing that the tour of Taako's room was over. Nice of him to pick up on that cue. "I think I should go apologize to your crew for yelling."

"You don't have to, but knock yourself out." Taako shooed him out of the room and shut the door. "I do want to see if Merle tries to get you to bust another nut, though."

"Do you know what _bust a nut_ means?" Kravitz asked, nervous.

Taako just winked and walked back into the common room.

_If you can get us to be friends, you've won the ballgame. I'll fall pretty quick for you afterwards. I've never--I don't think I've ever fallen for someone as hard as I've fallen for you. And I keep doing it over and over again, so it's not a fluke. I'm sure you know what I look like when I have a crush on you, so feel free to ask me out as soon as you see those signs. I know I'll say yes._

"Oh--" Kravitz stopped pacing once Taako entered the break room, and spoke just a tad too nervous for normal conversation. "Hello, Taako."

Taako ignored the stares from the rest of the bounty hunters in the room and made a beeline for Kravitz. "What's up?"

"Well, first of all, you're breaking uniform. You're not allowed to alter your cloak like that. And we're, ah, partners today," he said, holding up a piece of parchment with the assignments of the day written in a script that only the Queen's servants could read. He handed it to Taako to look over and went to the coffee machine. None of the bounty hunters needed caffeine, but a lot of them made a habit of it. "Kind of crazy how our Lady puts us on so many shifts together."

"How's that crazy?" Taako asked, ignoring the uniform infraction. If the Queen had a problem with him making the cloak _bigger,_ she could say it to his face. What was the point of a cloak if he wasn't swimming in the fabric? At least he didn't shorten it like Lup did.

"I thought she'd put you with Lup." Kravitz fumbled forward, as if he could erase the words out of existence right after he said them. The coffee pot rattled in his hands as he filled it. "Not that I'm complaining, or th--that I dislike working with you, I--" He took a breath, centering himself. "I do think we work well together."

Damn, the dude was cute when he was _into_ this. Taako figured he could make a move soon. "Maybe it's 'cause she's worried I'll run off."

Kravitz smiled, pressed a button on the machine, and side-eyed Taako. "Are you going to make me chase you again?"

"No, I think it was smart of her to, uh, pair me up with such a handsome face." Taako leaned his elbow on the counter, flashing a smile up at Kravitz. Lazily pointed at his face. "Couldn't run even if I wanted to, with this looking down at me."

_That_ seemed to turn Kravitz' brain functions off for a good minute. He looked around the break room, hoping nobody would hear their conversation. His voice came back as a whisper. "Are you this flirtatious to everyone?"

"Nope." Taako spoke as clearly as possible, just to get this moving.

"Wait a minute--" Kravitz flinched, not expecting that answer at all. "What is that supposed to mean?"

"You know."

"I really don't," he said, a ball of nerves.

Taako moved barely an inch closer, speaking low enough that the rest of the break room wouldn't hear. He knew Kravitz liked his privacy. "You've never had a guy hit on you before?"

Kravitz gripped the counter, eyes wide. "Is that what you're doing?"

"Wow, you're dense. Yeah, I'm hitting on you." Taako drummed his fingers on the counter, just a bit worried. Did he reveal that too quickly? Maybe something was off about Kravitz and he wasn't into this. As much as he'd like to be with Kravitz this year, it'd be bad if he made him super fucking uncomfortable right out the gate. Fuck. He fucked this up. "I'll back off if you wa--"

"We should do something," he blurted out, and then coughed to cover how fucking eager that sounded. "After our shift is over. Without everyone watching."

Oh. He was just nervous. Taako grinned again, leaning up into Kravitz' personal space. "I'm down for that. Wherever you want to go, handsome."

"Nice." Kravitz stepped backwards, but was unable to hold back his own smile. "Um. But. Let's keep it professional at work, yeah?"

"Gotcha," he said, but didn't move.

"And in the break room," Kravitz added, laughing once. He moved to grab two mugs out of the office cupboards and handed one off to Taako.

"No fun." Taako stepped out of Kravitz' personal bubble. He knew when the teasing was fun and when it was harassment, and he'd prefer to keep it in the zone of fun. He traced his finger around the rim of the cup, watching as Kravitz poured his coffee.

For once, he was excited to get to work.

_Again, I'd advise that you tell me as little as possible about your situation. It's so confusing from my end. It's not dishonest of you, I swear. When I regain my memory and remember a year with you, that's...Taako, you have no idea how much I love those years. Before I started running into you and your crew, I--stopped feeling much of anything at all, really. I might have been escaping the Hunger, but--but its hopeless message was still in my mind at the end of every year. I don't feel that anymore, I--it's not just you, the rest of the crew also--I just. I feel like there's an end to this. I don't know when that is, but I hope we can both get there together._

Taako broke out the B word first, on accident. He had gotten so used to calling Kravitz that casually that it slipped out without much thought. Not that pulling it out a month after their first date was much of a leap (it would be for Taako, if he was just meeting Kravitz for the first time).

Kravitz invited him over for a private conversation that didn't involve much talking at all (when Taako didn't know and trust Kravitz before, he wouldn't have allowed that to happen so quickly--but now that he _knew_ Kravitz, he always wanted him).

And Taako _certainly_ didn't mind, because he hadn't been touched by Kravitz in years.

_"That--_ " Taako pulled in a breath, even though it was unnecessary. "--was rad." He held out a hand in front of Kravitz, grinning wide. "High five."

"You--you're an enigma," he said with a nervous laugh, reached over to high five Taako, and then promptly kissed him. Taako kissed back, enthusiastic, not wanting to stop. Ever. One benefit of the soul construct was the lack of the need to breathe. Even if they did it on instinct, it wasn't strictly necessary. "You know," he said, lips brushing against the side of Taako's face, "I don't know why, but everything just--feels _right_ with you, you know?"

"I _do_   know," Taako said, charmed by Kravitz' bewilderment. Of course, he knew whyit felt right for him. The dude was so smitten with Taako that memory wipes couldn't even hold back his feelings. Not that he'd tell Kravitz that. It'd just confused the fuck out of him. But Taako could enjoy the information. He smiled and dug his face in the crook of Kravitz' neck. If he was going to get a year with Kravitz, he'd be as insufferably affectionate as he wanted. Had to get this all out of his system.

Kravitz looked down at Taako, eyes shimmering.  "You feel the same way?"

"Yeah," Taako said, laying his cheek onto Kravitz' chest, "everything _does_ feel right."

Thankfully, Kravitz didn't ask him to elaborate. All he did was hold Taako closer and smile into the top of his head. The two had work in a couple hours, so Taako tried his best to stay awake. Sure, he wanted to kick it and relax until work, but he wanted to be conscious for it. He got so few years with Kravitz _like this,_ he wanted as much time as he could get.

And then Taako heard a rumbling noise. Kravitz' body stiffened underneath him and the rumbling stopped.

Taako grumbled, his eyes pried open just a fraction. "What's that?" he asked, voice groggy. "Earthquake?"

"You know what it is," Kravitz answered, face colored in shame and mashed into the pillow.

"Uh, actually, I don't." Taako rested his chin on Kravitz' chest, looking up at his boyfriend. The embarrassed look on his face meant...what? That Kravitz knew where the sound came from? That-- _oh, shit--_ was he the source of it? "Wait, that was coming out of you? What was that, snoring?"

"You're an elf." Kravitz rolled his eyes and focused his gaze on the wall, away from Taako. "You know what purring is, don't give me that."

"Uh, like, you mean like _a cat?"_ Taako glanced down at Kravitz' chest, face twisted in disbelief. This was a prank, right? This wasn't real. It couldn't be. Elves didn't _purr,_ that was some fake bullshit. "Dude, you're making shit up."

"I'm not." Kravitz finally turned to look at Taako, concerned now. "You really don't know?"

Taako pursed his lips, still waiting for Fantasy Ashton Kutcher to burst through the doors with cameras. "Me an' Lup've never purred, that's ridiculous."

But, instead of a camera crew and a sea of nondisclosure agreements, Kravitz just looked at him with concerned eyes. "That's--very sad. I'm sorry for bringing it up."

"Don't look at me like that. It's probably just--" Taako huffed and looked away from Kravitz. "I bet that elves from the plane I'm from don't purr."

Kravitz frowned. "If you have the same lung and throat structure, you should."

"Yeah, well, I'm not cutting myself open to prove a point to you," he said, hoping the tone of his voice told Kravitz to drop the subject. Nope, this was too weird. The elves on this plane purred? What kind of furry bullshit was that? None of the elves on his plane _purred._ Sure, he and Lup snored a whole lot before they went on the road, but that wasn't _purring._ Just snoring. And he didn't snore a lot past puberty, but it was probably because his sinuses settled into place after he did all his growing. That must have been it. Not purring.

No, that was dumb.

Taako decided it would be better to study Kravitz' tattoo instead of thinking about _purring._ Which wasn't a thing at all. No. He needed to gather this data for Barry, that was what was more important. He hadn't gotten a good look at it since the plane they got married. He'd have to ask Kravitz what exactly all these colors meant when he sent his next letter. Since the Raven Queen put new spots on at the end of every year, Taako assumed it was some kind of yearly marker. For what, he had no idea.

Pink showed up at the end of the marriage year, but after scanning the tattoo, he noticed there weren't any new pink dots since then. Only teal and orange. He had three years where Kravitz caught him in a row--and, sure enough, the most recent three dots were teal. And then two oranges. A blue, and then the pink from the marriage year. Taako counted the years back--that meant he got the blue dot during the very bad year, and an orange the year after. Were orange dots good? He had a good time with Kravitz on the orange year. But the year after that, he didn't even _see_ Kravitz, so why would that also be orange?

Ugh, this didn't make much sense. Taako dug his face into Kravitz' chest and stopped worrying about the fucking tattoo. Barry would figure it out, probably, or he could just. Ask Kravitz later. Assuming he'd know, which--he might not. Was Taako going to worry about that now? Hell no.

After a few more minutes of silence, the rumbling came back. Just like before, Kravitz looked away. "Do you mind it?" he asked, his voice a little lower from the vibration.

"What?"

"The purring." He refused to look Taako in the eye. "Is it...bad?"

"Uh, no?" Taako pressed his ear to Kravitz' chest. Even though Kravitz still looked nervous, the purring was out in full force. He felt like going to sleep, right there. Actually kind of a nice sound. "I guess it's kind of calming."

"That's good." Kravitz' head knocked back against the pillows. "I would hate to make you uncomfortable."

"It's, uh, it means you're feeling good, right?" Taako looked up and saw Kravitz nod. "That--I mean, that wouldn't--that doesn't bother me, that you're. Uh. Comfortable."

Kravitz snorted and kissed him. "You're talking in circles."

"I like it," he admitted, even though the concept of purring was weird. Something about it felt right in his brain, though.

"Good." Kravitz leaned down and kissed Taako's forehead. "I have a feeling I'll be doing it a lot around you."

Most of Kravitz' assumptions were true, so Taako trusted that one to be as well.

_The portal just opened. I should...get going. I wish we could talk again. You're amazing._

Like most days, the two spent their off time laid out in Taako's quarters on the Starblaster. They'd go out every once in a while, but Taako was determined to get a significant amount of cuddling time in with his man before the year was up. Kravitz certainly didn't mind. He'd spend forever running his fingers through Taako's hair if he could.

"I'm getting a call."

"I'm coming, too." Taako prepared a letter just in case, of course, but he wanted to see if he could get his ten minutes with Kravitz. He had the feeling the opportunity to talk to him in the Queen's throne room was going to be _super_ rare. Might as well take the chance while he had it.

"I don't know how she'll feel if you come see her without permission," Kravitz said, face set in a worried frown.

"It'll be fine." Taako reached up to kiss Kravitz, anticipation thrumming below the surface of his constructed skin. "Come on."

_I love you. Come find me._

_-Kravitz_

Much like before, Kravitz stood underneath the Raven Queen with his head clutched in his hands and a new pink dot on his arm. After a few moments, he looked over to Taako and ran over to him. He hoisted Taako in his arms and spun around, giggling in pure glee and smiling wide. Taako felt like his heart would burst but he didn't mind much. Wasn't going to let that get in the way of catching up with his boyfriend.

"There he is," Taako said, his nose nuzzled into the mass of Kravitz' hair. He couldn't stop grinning. "Nice to see you again."

"Same goes to you." Kravitz let Taako back down onto the floor, just so he could cup his face in his hands and take a good look. "I wasn't expecting an office romance this year."

Taako wrapped his arms around Kravitz' back, moving forward to kiss his jaw. "You complaining?"

"Hardly," he said, kissing along Taako's forehead and down his nose. He finished off with one too-quick peck to the lips. "I'd prefer you be alive, but at least you were safe this year."

"Your, uh, your advice really helped." Taako leaned backwards, still firmly in Kravitz' grip, but showing off his work uniform. "How do I look in the cloak?"

"Fantastic," he said with a chuckle.

"And would I look better out of it?"

"Both looks have their merits." Kravitz brought Taako close again and kissed his cheek. "It's very unfair of you to make me choose."

"You're right, I look good in and out of everything." Taako grabbed the collar of Kravitz' cloak and pulled him closer. "For the record, I prefer you without the cloak."

"You're ridiculous," he said, although it wasn't even close to an insult. He reached to take Taako's hand in his and kissed the knuckle. "I love you."

"Love you too." Taako reached up to give his boyfriend a _real_ kiss. It was dangerous to spend too much of their ten minutes kissing, but he needed at _least_ one. Maybe five. "Quick question,"  he asked, lips still pressed on Kravitz' skin, "is it considered cheating if I think about _this_ version of you while I'm with the fifty-first-dates version of you?"

"No, Taako, I don't think that's cheating." Kravitz chuckled, holding Taako by the waist and spinning him around again. "Although, I'm jealous that I don't get to know you. I wonder how things would be if I actually remembered you."

Taako dug his foot into the ground so Kravitz couldn't spin him again. He bumped his nose up against Kravitz', grinning wide. "I've got a feeling you'd be insufferably sappy."

"Funny," he said, letting his hands run down Taako's back. "I have a feeling you would be, too."

Untrue, but Taako took him in for another kiss anyway. They didn't get very far before they heard an obnoxious cough from behind. Kravitz pulled away and _squeaked._ Taako looked to see who coughed, and Lup stood there. Menacing. Staring directly at Kravitz.

"Hey," she said, eyes still trained on Kravitz. Intimidating. She walked forward and pushed Taako out of Kravitz' arms, standing in between the two.

Taako stumbled backwards. "Uh, Lup? What the fuck?"

"Just here to see this myself." Lup squinted, inspecting Kravitz with a discerning eye. "You were right, he's a huge cornball."

"Hello, Lup," Kravitz said, and if a dead man couldsweat, he would have been. He tried not to look too visibly nervous, but failed miserably. Not many people could stay calm under Lup's gaze. "It was very nice to work with you th--"

"No formalities, Skeletor." She crossed her arms, chin raised high up in the air. "If you had your memories twenty-four-sev, what would your intentions be with my dearest baby brother?"

Taako pushed forward, trying to get Lup out of his boyfriend's business. "I'm _older_ tha--"

"Would you prefer to have this conversation in private, Lup?" Kravitz asked, straightening his back and bracing for the worst.

Lup shook her head and _tsked._ "No, anything you say to me you can say to my coward of a brother, 'cause I know he's not asking you the important shit in those letters."

"Well. Um." Kravitz' eyes flicked to Taako, nervous. He spoke quietly, just enough so Taako had to strain to hear him. "I would like to date him for at least a few years, with all of my memory in tact, and--"

She huffed. "Oh, just a few years, that's pre--"

"--And, if Taako would have me and we find we're compatible long-term, I would ask him if he would want to be married." He refused to look at Taako or Lup, eyes glued on the floor. "Again."

Lup let his words hang in the air for longer than anyone would have liked. "And if it turns out that can't happen?"

"I want what's best for Taako," he answered immediately, determined. "If that's not me, I'll be disappointed, but I would understand."

With an overdramatic sigh and a roll of the shoulders, Lup backed off. "I just want you to keep one thing in mind. Once you can get _this--"_ she gestured around Kravitz, just all over him, "--to last more than ten minutes, you are _never_ allowed to hurt my brother again."

Kravitz took in a breath. "I don't intend to."

"Good." She smiled, all of the intimidation gone in a second. She slapped Kravitz on the arm and moved away. "That's it."

Taako ran forward to take her place, inserting himself back into Kravitz' arms. "Great, good, _whatever,_ mind leaving so we can finish off this reunion?"

"Oh, it shouldn't be a problem," she said, smug smile plastered on her face. "I won't bother the two of you."

_"You're bothering me right n--"_ Taako felt a hand on his cheek and turned his head. Kravitz watched him intensely, as if the interruption had never happened. Taako felt like his heart would leap out of his chest. "Yeah?"

"This year was fun," he said, and kissed Taako on the nose.

"Sure was." Taako looked behind him and lowered his voice so only Kravitz could hear. "Hey, uh. Were you serious about what you just said to Lup?"

"Yes." Kravitz frowned, concern written all over his face. "I'm sorry, did that scare you?"

"No," Taako said, shaking his head slowly. "No."

"No?" Kravitz smiled.

"No," he said again, lurching forward to get Kravitz in a hug. Didn't want to make eye contact. Too many feelings. "If you make a big deal of it, I'll die and it'll be your fault."

Kravitz laughed, hugging Taako tightly. "Well, we can't have _that."_  

It felt too soon, but Istus' portal materialized behind Kravitz, letting off a low hum. Taako groaned, not too happy about getting cockblocked by the universe again. Come _on._ If Kravitz could just remember him for _one year,_ that'd be great. 

"There it is." Kravitz held Taako's chin in his hands and kissed him once more. "I need to head out."

"Fuck Istus," Taako said, his face mashed into Kravitz' shoulder.

Kravitz huffed. He never _did_ like Taako's disrespect of goddesses. _"Taako."_  

"It's alright," the Queen said, interrupting their conversation for the first time, "I do that all the time."

Lup, Taako, and Kravitz all dropped their jaws. The Queen laughed, the sound unnaturally filling the room.

"Sorry." She couldn't stop giggling, hand covering her mouth. "It was too good of a joke to pass up."

"Hell yeah it was," Lup said. Taako pushed Kravitz out of his arms towards the portal. He didn't _like_ being out of his arms, but he wasn't going to play with the rules of this. He couldn't risk losing Kravitz forever.

Kravitz stumbled over the line of the portal and stepped through, waving at Taako and Lup. "I'm not sure what else to say," he said, hands fidgeting at his sides, "other than I love you."

And before Taako could tell him he loved him back, the portal popped closed.

Taako would have to answer him in the next letter.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this one was really fun, mostly because kravitz blowing up and yelling at merle is unnecessarily hilarious to me. also elves purring is only a headcanon i like in passing and in very specific situations (even though i wrote a blupjeans one? oh well) but :) maybe it'll be important in this fic later :)
> 
> i almost forgot to put in tattoo hints into this chapter! be careful, because next chapter, everything is revealed on that front. (or, most things--i don't think i get into the colors? but you'll learn the reason it's there in the first place)
> 
> Next time, Lup makes a horrible mistake.


	12. Cycle 42

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Lup makes a mistake, Taako makes it worse.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> small content warning for vaguely sexual situation, starts at "Knocking was for the weak," and ends with, "Not something he wanted to see." nothing totally steamy happens, someone just gets caught and the door gets closed pretty immediately after.

Cycle forty-two was actually an okay year, for once.

The plane was uninhabited, which meant Taako could scoop Kravitz' soul out of the Astral plane for Barry to test. They didn't keep him in a jar like they did on the beach, now that they knew it was Kravitz. His light floated around the Starblaster aimlessly when Barry and Lup weren't studying him, and hovered around Taako's room at night, light dimmed with a faint pulse. Couldn't talk, so Taako wasn't about to make out with him, but he liked having the company of the soul around. Now that they knew the basics of how Kravitz worked, Barry could devote all his energy to figure out how to access his memories during the year. If that was even possible. Kravitz said he was skeptical, but hopeful. Barry had improved in necromancy, made it his specialty somewhere along the way. Lup got interested in it too, just a little bit, and devoted herself to the Kravitz experiments when she wasn't studying the Light. 

"Are you learning this so that you and Barold can get some _alone time?"_   he asked once, stepping into the lab to see Lup dissecting some beast.

"Just trying to help," she said, not even looking up from her work, "I want you to be happy."

Taako never teased her for her new interest after that.

This year, the Light was a trickier subject. It was way past a field of bramble and other unknown dangers. The wind made it difficult for the Starblaster to fly in certain areas, so they couldn't just go over. They needed to go on the ground to get it. Nobody hopped up too quickly to volunteer--the bramble was _very_ thick and Merle confirmed that the thorns held some form of poison in them. Taako, Magnus, and Merle all drew the short straw to go try and get the Light out. They needed a smaller team in case anything happened, and they could use Taako's transmutation, Magnus' axe proficiency, and Merle's plant seduction to their advantage in the bramble fields.

Still, it took them a long time to get through it. Couldn't touch the brambles directly because of the poison. Magnus wore gardener's gloves that went all the way up to the elbows, since he did most of the cutting. Taako used up all his spell slots to transmute a path through the bramble. Merle flirted with the vines, but they played hard-to-get. Once they cut through a section of bramble, it grew back within a few hours. They trapped themselves in the bramble as they cut through, sealed off from the ship and the rest of the crew. They had to sleep and meditate in shifts to keep the bramble from growing over them in the night. It took weeks for them to cut through to the Light, and knew it would take just as long to get back out.

It would be fine. The rest of the crew were safe and had enough projects to pass the time. Lucretia dedicated herself to consolidating and organizing her journals. Davenport charted maps of the area for fun. Lup and Barry were stuck in the lab poking at Kravitz, putting the time before they got the Light in the lab to good use. And Kravitz was just a ball of energy haunting their ship, occasionally possessing the dishwasher for fun. The three stuck in the bramble didn't feel guilty about leaving the crew behind for months.

Magnus hated the bramble. He had a tendency to rush into danger, and Merle and Taako kept holding him back. Merle had trouble getting the plants to give consent, and, well. That made things harder for him. Meanwhile, Taako _loved_ this little adventure. He got to stay in the back, and once he was out of spell slots, he was _done._ But that wasn't even what he liked about the adventure. Believe it or not, he _liked_ spending this time with Magnus and Merle. The three of them had some weird natural chemistry when they went on missions. Felt like they were _made_ for adventuring when they were grouped up. Of course, he wouldn't tell the other two chuclefucks that. Magnus would cry and Merle would be insufferable. Lup would be jealous, probably. Nope, Taako kept those thoughts to himself and just allowed himself to laugh at the dumbass things his teammates did. 

Even though he enjoyed himself, the adventure _exhausted_ the three of them. A couple months of nonstop plant cutting will do that to a person. Couldn't relax the whole time, too busy staying alive. By the time they got the Light and found the edge of the bramble, they all fell to the ground, about to pass out.

"I'm gonna go take a _shower,"_ Magnus said, picking stickers out of his shirt.

Merle sat down right at the edge of the brambles and clasped his hands together. "I think I'm going to have a conversation with Johnny-boy," he said, and then turned into a faint outline of smoke. Magnus frowned.

"Couldn't he have celebrated with us first?" Magnus asked, kneeling down next to Merle's smoke body.

Taako held the Light under his armpit like a sportball. "Could just _say_ he hates us if he wants to die so bad."

That made Magnus stop and look at Taako, an extremely concerned look plastered on his face. "I don't think he _hates_ us."

Taako shrugged. "Just being honest. If our only healer voluntarily offs himself on the regular, that means he wants us to die, right?"

Magnus shook his head. "Pretty bad way of looking at it, Taako."

"Just looking at it logically." Before Magnus could answer, or take this conversation anywhere deeper than it needed to go, Taako stepped backwards. Nope. He didn't feel like doing a heart-to-heart today. Too exhausted. He really hoped there weren't going to be any emergencies on the ship today. He wasn't sure he could deal with that. "I'm gonna take this to Lup."

"I'll wait to see if he comes back." Thankfully, Magnus caught on to Taako's desire to yeet himself out of the conversation. He turned his attention back to Merle and set his bag down on the ground. "Probably won't, but. Just in case, right?"

"Right." Taako knew Magnus was fooling himself, but he wouldn't say much on the matter. Wasn't his business. Adventure was over, emotional vulnerability was cancelled. Taako was perfectly fine with spending the next four months in partial solitude, in a real bed with his soul boyfriend blinking quietly around the place. Maybe he'd master vegan baking this year, considering plants were all he had to work with vis a vis gastronomy.

But first, he wanted to see his sister. She must have missed him.

As soon as he walked into the Starblaster, Kravitz noticed him and floated up next to his face.

"Hey, babe," he said, not knowing how much Kravitz could actually understand in this state _._ It was obvious he could hear, considering he reacted to voices. But as a ball of energy it wasn't clear if he understood language or if he just reacted to the tone of the voices around him. Either way, Taako made it his mission to supply Kravitz with a lot of good words that he could remember at the end of the year. Kravitz said in one of his letters that remembering is easier when the year was pleasant.

Since Kravitz was free roaming, that meant Lup wasn't working in the lab. And, with a quick glance, it looked like Lucretia and Davenport had taken a trip out for the day. Lup wouldn't leave the ship unattended, so either she or Barry were hiding somewhere. Most obvious thing to do was to check Lup's room. Taako hung by her door and heard Lup giggling inside. Cool, so she was home. Time to give her a little surprise. 

Knocking was for the weak, so Taako kicked the door open, the Light shoved under his arms, and yelled. "Hey, Lup, guess who's _BA--"_

Taako stopped hollering once he realized Lup had a guest in her room. Barry. This was normal--the two had gotten really close over the past few years. More than usual. What _wasn't_ normal was how Lup had Barry pinned with his back on her bed, her knee sliding up in between his legs. Fully clothed, thank _god,_ but Barry had a hand up his sister's shirt, held tight on her back. At the sound of his shout, they had both stopped to stare wide-eyed and red-handed at the door.

"Okay," Taako said, trying to keep it cool, "bad time."

He closed the door gingerly before Lup or Barry could pick their brains back up to speak. He stood with his back to the door for a few moments, stunned. Kravitz flickered and hovered by his shoulder, the closest a soul could get to looking concerned. He heard Lup and Barry's hushed and breathless bickering behind the door, but the bad thing he saw was the only thing he could focus on in his mind.

That was.

Not something he wanted to see.

Taako scurried over to the lab and dropped the Light off, and then ran straight to his room. Shut the door. Nope, _nope,_ he wasn't going to think about what he saw! He needed to bleach that out of his brain. The problem wasn't Barry, that--okay, he was a little proud that she finally made a move on Barry. It took her long enough. The _problem_ was that he saw it happening with his own two eyes.

Listen, anyone with a sibling can say that catching them doing anything even _remotely_ sexual is _the nightmare scenario._ That just results in _at least_ a week of awkward silences, lack of eye contact, and a general unease. But for twins? Double that panic. Triple it. There's enough people with an ill-thought out fantasy of having two twins at the same time that made the mere thought of knowing anything about his sister's sex life a disaster. Sure, yes, he wanted her to be happy with Barry, and as far as he knew she wasn't asexual, so that was something that would probably happen in their relationship. But Taako refused to think about, it, because. Again. That's his _sister._

There was a reason he triple-locked and silenced his room during the years he had Kravitz over.

So he laid on his bed, purging the entire situation from his brain. Thinking about _literally_ anything else. Spell shaping. Fishing. Baking. The components he had to stock up on. What bait to use in warm water. Butter versus margarine. The new book Lucretia wrote that he had to read. The stupid way Davenport trimmed his mustache this year. Magnus' insistence that they let another rat on board. Merle's ficus--

No, _nope,_ even worse thoughts.

A couple minutes later, Taako heard a shy knock on his door. He opened it with magic, not wanting to leave his bed. Lup stood dumbfounded at the entrance, fist still raised in the air. She adjusted the hem of her shirt, putting it back into place after Barry moved it. Taako refused to think of that any farther, did _not_ need to know any details.

"Uh, welcome back," she said, still hanging by the door frame. "Glad you survived, those thorns looked. Uh. Bad."

"Yeah." Taako stared at the frame, not directly at Lup's face. "Light's in the lab, we need to run tests on it later."

Taako could see her nodding in his peripheral vision. "Good idea."

"Mhmm."

The thickness in the air didn't clear, and the two stayed there in a standoff. The first one to bring up the incident would be the loser and also the one to need to confront the situation first. Or. They could just-- _not_ address this. Lup could leave and finish off whatever _business_ she was up to, and Taako could dig his nose in books detailing egg substitutes in cakes. They didn't have to talk about it, there wasn't a rule saying they had to.

But then Kravitz drifted through the open door and Taako sighed. This would blow up in their faces if they didn't at least _try_ to address it.

He sat with his legs crossed on the bed, as non threatening and approachable as possible. "You know, I usually lock my door."

"I'll, uh--" Lup's face burned and she gripped the doorframe like a lifeline. "I'll do that. Next time. I just. Thought everyone was out of the ship."

"Sure. It's, uh, it's cool." Taako let the silence hang in the air for a minute, giving Lup some time to emotionally prepare herself for this. "Hey, uh. That didn't seem like the first time that had happened."

"It wasn't," she admitted, "we've been fooling around for a couple years."

Half of Taako wanted to congratulate her for finally owning up to her crush and doing something about it, but the other half of him was skeptical. She didn't tell him? "How long?"

Lup thought about it for a few seconds, struggling to remember. "Cycle thirty-five?" She refused to make eye contact with Taako. "He did a few experiments on the--uh, my construct, and, I egged him on and we just--kept meeting up. Like that."

"The cycle with the bounty hunters?" It was cycle forty-two, so...that meant she had been doing this for _seven years._ Without telling him. "Lup, it's almost been a decade, what the fuck? I don't get to know when you get a new boyfriend now, is that what's going on?"

"He's not my boyfriend," she blurted out, although her face was red. Something deeper going on there that she chose not to address. She coughed and sat on the edge of Taako's bed, facing away from him. "It's just casual, we're--um. Blowing off steam."

"I'll bet."

"I just didn't think it was important enough to--uh, tell anyone." Lup let out a long, shaking breath. "How would that even go? _Hey everyone, Barry and I are sma--"_

"If you finish that sentence, you die." That got a half-hearted huff of laughter out of Lup, which Taako counted as a win. He cleared his throat and forced his voice to go soft, knowing that she'd usually tell the truth if he forced himself into honesty. "Why didn't you tell me?"

"For one thing, in what _fucking_ universe do you think I'm going to tell my own brother about _aaaaaaall_   the casual sex I'm having?" She turned around to look at Taako, brows raised at his disgusted expression. "Yeah, I thought so." Lup turned back around, unable to look her brother in the eyes for this specific conversation. "We were keeping it a secret from the whole crew. It's not a relationship, it's just a friends with ben--"

"I _don't need to hear what it is,"_ he said, and kicked her in the back. "I just--fine, yeah, I get it. Keep it a secret from the rest of the crew, that makes sense, but..." Taako closed the door to his room with magic, knowing this conversation was about to go places that he didn't want anyone else to hear. "I'm not the rest of the crew."

Without skipping a beat or looking back at him, Lup said, "yeah, you are."

Taako's entire world turned upside-down as the words processed in his brain. He watched Lup with a confused, blank expression, barely able to mutter out a, "what?"

"Well, I mean--not like--okay." Lup steeled herself and turned around, moving closer to him even though she spoke so distantly. "Taako, you're the most important person in my life. I just--Barry and I decided not to tell anyone. And that includes you." She looked towards the door. "It was only fair for the rest of the crew."

"I'm not the rest of the crew," he said, shaking his head.

Lup had the _gall_ to look annoyed at him. "You're not listening to me."

Taako gripped the side of his bed. No, _no, no,_ this wasn't happening. Lup wasn't abandoning him. She _couldn't_ be. Even when he was with Kravitz, he never--he didn't ever think of choosing him over her. They had rough patches because of his relationship, but _abandoning his sister_ wasn't on his priority list. "I'm _not_ the rest of the crew!"

"You kept Kravitz a secret from me!" She gestured towards Kravitz' light in the air, her fingers brushing along the edge of him. "How _the fuck_ is this any different?"

Kravitz' little ball of light flinched at the sound of his name in such a harsh tone. He flickered between Lup and Taako, not sure what to do as their voices raised. If Taako was in the right mindset, he'd shove Kravitz out the door so he wouldn't remember the conversation later. But he wasn't in his right mind, he was flustered and frustrated and about to choke his sister out for keeping such a big secret from him for seven years.

"For two years, or something like that! Not a decade! And, like, the moral of that story was--was that we _shouldn't_ keep this shit a secret from each other!" Taako pointed an accusatory finger at his sister, his words going off the rails from his thoughts. "You're not _dumb_ enough to fall for the same mistakes I did!"

"Calm the _fuck_ down--"

"You want me to calm down when my _own sister_ just told me that she doesn't trust me?"

"Fine, what would you have wanted me to do?" Lup shoved herself off the bed and paced around Taako's room. Not a lot of floor space, but she could never stay still when angry. "In what _fucking_ universe do you think I'm going to come up to you and tell you I'm boning Barry on a regular basis?"

Hearing the words _I'm boning Barry_ come out of his own sister's mouth was enough to send Taako to hell. "I--"

"See, that's what I'm talking about." She slumped back on the bed, angry and restless. "It's too weird to talk about this to you, you're my _brother."_

"You could have at least said you were seeing him." Taako forced himself to approach this calmer, knowing that yelling too much would just make Lup defensive. "What would happen if you got hurt because of this? I would have _never_ known! I couldn't fucking _live_ with that."

"Getting _hurt?"_ Lup actually _laughed_ at that. "Taako, we reset at the end of every year!"

"Your _thoughts_ don't get reset." Taako tried to think of something--anything to get Lup to listen to him. Just--say something buckwild so she'd listen. "If Barry _did_ something, I wouldn't have--the rest of us would have never known!"

Lup blinked, caught off guard. "What makes you think Barry _Bluejeans_ would do something bad?"

"Nothing! I don't think he could even _try_ to do something bad, it's just." Taako tried to leave it off there, he got her attention. Lup looked at him with such intensity that he felt that he needed to finish his sentence, even if it wasn't strictly necessary for getting her to calm down. "I mean, accidents happen."

"What kind of--what do you think he would _do?"_ she asked, an edge of fear in her voice that Taako wasn't very much a fan of.

"I mean, just. Fuck. Who knows?" Taako shrugged. "Take advantage of you? Not stop when you ask? People do shitty things on accident, Lup, it's not like--" He knew he was rambling, and should probably stop. No, he wasn't trying to make the case that Barry was a bad dude, he just wanted Lup to keep him updated. "It has nothing to do with how good of a friend he is. I like Barry. He's cool. But you can't just--fuck, you can't do this kind of thing in secret. I tried it and that _obviously_ backfired. Remember?"

Lup softened up a bit, her eyes dropping to her lap. "I do."

"Things would have been better if I just--" Taako's words caught in his throat, but he forced them outwards. Nope, this wasn't the time for words to stay inside. Lup needed to know what he dealt with so that she could improve on it. "Told you. So you knew. You would have caught that before I did."

She nodded. "I would have." Lup went quiet, nursing some thought in her head. Her eyes focused on a spot on the headboard behind Taako. Just a little push, and she'd be on his side. And then she could mack on her boy or whatever, and be happy. That's all Taako really wanted. She just needed a bit of extra security, and it didn't do her any good to hide this from Taako. Or anyone else--the crew would love some good news. They'd love it if Lup and Barry were an item. All he'd need to do was get her on his side and things would be great.

"And if you had told me about you and Barry, I'd--" Taako finally allowed himself to scoot closer to Lup. He'd end this conversation and she could bring Barry in here so he could give him a Talk, and then they'd all laugh and everything would be fine. "It'd just be for security. Like, I know I don't even want to _think_ of talking about any parties that happen below the waist for either of us but." Taako snorted out a pained laugh. "I think I'd be a shitty brother if I wasn't there when something went wrong."

"I...hadn't thought of that," she said, her words hollow. Like she hadn't even heard what he just said. She finally looked at Taako properly, her eyes fierce and determined in an unsettling way. "I hadn't thought there was a chance he'd do something wrong."

"I, uh." That wasn't what he expected her to take out of the conversation. That was just something he'd said to get her to listen. "In, uh, in practice I don't think he would. Do anything wrong. I was just talking about--I was using Barry as an example. If that's what you're worried abo--"

"But anyone can, right?" She frowned, speaking more forcefully. "On accident. That's what you said."

"I guess?" Taako wasn't really sure what she was getting at. For a split second, a sharp wave of fear ran through his veins. "Wait, _has_ he done anything?"

"No, not even a little bit, he's. Uh. Perfect." Lup looked at a blank spot on the wall and smiled. And then, she wiped the smile away and went back to that stubborn look on her face. "But what if he's just acting like that to--so that I let my guard down?"

"Um." Taako had no fucking clue what was happening. Lup was crazy about this dude, why was she suddenly talking herself out of it? It seemed like they had the beginnings of something good. Or, at least, they'd crack after enough casual encounters and actually _talk._   But, here, Lup was ready to drop Barry just because Taako caught her about to fuck him _once._ "Barry really doesn't seem the type to--"

"But _anyone_ can," she insisted.

"No, that's--you're focusing on the wrong thing." Taako held both his hands out, needing to make himself clear. He didn't want Lup getting the wrong idea and miss out on something incredible. "I think you and Barry would be good. All I said was that--that we shouldn't keep secrets. Just in case, you know?"

"Yeah. I know what you're talking about. This is going to sound fucked up, but I'm glad you saw that." Lup took in a deep breath, centering herself. "I don't want to be taken advantage of."

No, no, that's not-- "You're not listening to me, I'm _not_ saying Barry is bad--"

"But you don't trust him fully!" Lup gave Taako the same smile a nervous customer service worker gives when they know some asshole is about to call the manager. "So I don't, either."

Taako raised his voice, more commanding than he usually sounded. "That's not what I said."

"So you'd trust Barry with your life?" She scooted forward, all up in Taako's personal space. "With mine?" Her words could have been venom. "With Kravitz'?"

"I, uh--" Taako tried his best not to show off how much the questions kicked the wind out of him. His voice still cracked when he answered. "I mean, yeah."

Lup raised her brows. "All the way?"

_"I'd--"_ In theory, yes. Yes, he did trust Barry, wholeheartedly. It would be hard not to, after forty-two years. The dude was one of his best friends--and wasn't that different? Having a friend other than Lup? But there was some part of him that couldn't admit that out loud. Even after more than forty years with the guy, he couldn't just _say_   that. Couldn't admit that to the air. "I'd still be careful."

"Then I'm being careful, too." She hugged Taako and climbed off the bed. "Thanks, Taako. I need to have a chat with Barry."

Taako clambered forward in a confused daze. "What--what kind of chat?"

"Don't think about it too hard. Just going to end this before I get too attached." Lup put her hand on the doorknob and shrugged. "You know me."

"Wait, hold on--" Taako stumbled off of his bed, hoping to catch her before she could get very far. "Lup, I don't know if that's such a good idea--"

"You don't have to worry about _my_ feelings, y'know. I can take care of myself." She wrinkled her nose, playfully annoyed by Taako's concern as if they were talking about an inconsequential sibling fight, and not her long-term happiness. "I've already made up my mind. Focus on yourself now, yeah? You still have to write your letter for the year."

"I--"

Lup shut the door before he could get up to stop her.

Well.

Fuck.

Taako slumped back on his bed, hit by sudden exhaustion. Fantastic. He just ruined his best friend's love life. _He just ruined his sister's love life._ Killed two birds with one stone, there. Great. Super good friend and brother _he_ was.

He remembered a little thought he had in cycle seventeen.

_He could just...sabotage the whole thing. Cut it down before Lup and Barry even had the chance to try._

Damn it. He knew that would haunt him the rest of his life, and now it actually came true? The universe must not have been a fan of Taako.

He briefly considered following her. But the last time he tried that after a fight, she blasted his eyebrows off. Should he run out and get to Barry before she did? No, she'd just catch him on the way. The best thing he could do was wait for Lup to get through this little spell of uncertainty and then apologize and get her back on track later.

If that were even possible.

Most likely, she was using him as some kind of excuse. It wouldn't be the first time she tried it. _Sorry, can't date Barry, Taako doesn't want me to!_ He could _hear_ that in her voice. Usually he didn't mind when she used him as an excuse not to do something. It didn't mess with his reputation or his brand and it was fine. But that was normally to get her out of...like, events she didn't want to go to. People she didn't want to speak with. Not denying herself a relationship with the person she'd been pining over since _cycle seventeen._

It was easy to forget that Lup had the same problems with trust and intimacy that Taako was more known for. Sure, she was a _lot_ more social than Taako could ever pretend to be. But in every conversation, she still kept a distance from everyone and could turn at one wrong shift in the breeze. Taako would never dream of shutting himself away from his sister, but if Lup was in a bad enough mood she'd cut him out. Never for very long, but just long enough to worry the fuck out of him.

This was shaping up to be one of those times.

Taako _claimed_ he needed alone time, but that was mostly bullshit. Lup _actually_ needed it. She was the type to go off on some dangerous mission on her own with only a note. He wondered if Barry had caught on to her tendency to book it and run, or if her little "chat" with him would take him completely off guard. He wondered if this was the end of the two of them, or if they could actually talk this whole thing out.

Part of him assumed Barry was patient, but the other part knew he had enough nerves to build another person's neurosystem. Another part of him knew Barry was so _nice_ he'd drop Lup forever if she said no once.

Maybe he should let him know that Lup was _just_ lashing out. Everything would be fine in a bit.

Another part of him forced that line of thinking out of his mind. Lup might kill him if she found out he tried to interfere. Which was understandable, her and Barry were both adults who were perfectly capable of talking through this whole situation. But they had also been dancing around something that was obviously there for--well, he guessed, thirty years. Or maybe still forty years. He wasn't sure how much _talking_ they had done, and didn't want to think about their "casual" relationship hard enough to infer it. If Lup or Barry wanted help, they'd ask. Probably.

So now, Taako was just in a weird limbo of helping and not-helping his sister.

This was going to be horrible.

* * *

_Taako?_

_Are you alright? Your letter was unnaturally short. Not that I need a specific word count, but...I did hear your conversation with Lup. Things didn't seem too great. Are you worried about her? I had noticed Barry's fondness of her before, but I had no idea they were--well. You probably don't want to think about it any more than I do. I hate to see them fight, they act like they would get along well. I know I won't remember anything of this next year, but if you need me for anything, I'm sure you can charm me into doing so._

_You probably don't want me wasting my ten minutes talking about problems you're already aware of. I've spent most of these letters telling you how much I love you, so. Maybe it would be best if I answered some of the questions I've overheard you and Barry discuss. If the two of you can piece all this together, then maybe I would be able to speak to you for more than ten minutes. Or maybe I could stop chasing you._

_I was traveling planes for fourteen years before your crew came along. It was all the same thing. I wouldn't remember anything, then I'd get a blast of memories from my homeworld and all others after it for ten minutes. I knew what the Hunger was, although I didn't call it that. It formed on my homeworld. I was an emissary of my Lady then, too. For a few centuries. Before that, I was just a half-elf. Had a sickeningly normal life. I was married, but--it didn't really stick. Hell, I didn't even invite him to the Astral plane with me when he passed. I, um--please don't feel jealous, we didn't work too well. Nothing against either of us, some people just. Don't click. I'm very much in love with you, though, and the difference between my first marriage and you is night and day._

_It's funny that you're trying to keep track of my tattoo, considering it's not...really all that special? It's just there, it's not some mind-shattering revelation or anything. I guess it is one of the few things you can accurately graph and check, so I can't fault you for assuming it was more important. It's just a little condensed memory storage. The colors show up based on what memories they store, I think? I'm actually not too sure. That's just a hypothesis. I've asked, the Raven Queen says all she knows is that it's meant to make the constant remembering and forgetting easier. Nothing gets lost year to year that way, since it's encoded into my soul. Which is probably why I'm able to think clearly after regaining all those memories at once. I'm not a scientist like you._

_I don't know if you could try and access those before the end of a year? Let Barry know, he may want that information. If you like, the next time you're unable to write a letter, I could make one out to Barry so that he can have as much information as he needs. If you just have him pop in a couple of questions into the box, I'll answer them to the best of my ability the next time you're...well. I don't like to think about you dying._

_I hope things turn around for you. I wish I was able to comfort you when you're down like this. I'm sure the two of them will work something out. The portal's opening, I should wrap this up. Thank you for not putting me in a jar this year._

_I love you,_

_Kravitz_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hey HEY! wow. hm. 
> 
> this blupjeans fight isn't actually going to last very long, i just didn't want to leave it out. it just goes a little different from canon because now taako is semi equipped to give better advice and also gets about ten times more frustrated seeing the two of them dance around their problems. anyway, thanks for reading!
> 
> next time is conservatory time :)


	13. Cycle 47

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Lup and Barry work some things out, Taako and Kravitz cruise for the year.

So, Lup was a mess.

She always was when she shut herself off like that. Vacant and distracted, always thinking about her own problems. And when she wasn't, she hyperfocused on one thing and didn't leave her room. Too stubborn to confide in anyone, even Taako. Normal Lup behavior, sure, and Taako expected her to get back to business after a couple months. But she'd never done it for so _long._ Taako's first strategy was to wait it out, and then try to talk some sense into her once she calmed down. Which would have worked out great if she chilled! No, instead she kept going on with her life, frustrated and irritated and distant from everyone. Every crew member (except Barry, who just got increasingly nervous around Taako) approached him and asked if Lup was okay, and he gave varying degrees of explanations. It was best to let them know to give Lup space. She'd come back. They'd talk it out. Everything would be fine.

_If she stopped dragging her feet._

See, usually it'd only take her a month or two to snap back into her senses. Taako wasn't sure if it was the stress of the mission or the her lack of experience in relationships, but she just wouldn't budge. Wouldn't come to Taako to talk about it again. Definitely wasn't talking to Barry about it--Taako knew she dumped him. And it really took the wind out of the guy's sails. If Barry were any other guy, Taako wouldn't feel bad, but he _knew_ Lup and Barry would work well. As much as he wasn't able to say it to Lup's face, he did trust Barry with his sister.

Taako couldn't even focus on Kravitz, even though he had a couple years in there where he could have made a move on him. Kravitz' letters came back increasingly worried, no matter how many times Taako assured him he was fine in his replies, that he had to focus on his sister.

He really did want her to be happy.

 _Four years._ Four years, she dragged her feet and sulked and silenced herself. Taako couldn't take it anymore.

But. Look. He also wasn't the type to tell his sister what to do. That would lead to them fighting. Normally he'd take the chance, but they'd fought _enough_ about boys this adventure. Kravitz sucked up all the energy he had to fight with his sister. He was done. So, he'd wait until he saw a crack in Lup's composure. It'd have to come at some point, right?

At the end of cycle forty-six, he found it.

Taako opened his yearly letter from Kravitz. He perched himself on the edge of his bed, getting himself comfortable to read it. They spent the year running from him, but didn't get caught. Kravitz apologized and then launched into the most dense and sweet declarations of love yet. It left Taako dumbstruck, staring at the paper with the goofiest smile on his face. When he finally looked up from the paper (after reading it three or four times), Lup sat in his desk chair. She turned her head away once Taako put the letter down. Did she...watch him read Kravitz' letter?

"Uh--" Taako shoved the letter back into the box, immediately embarrassed. Fuck, he didn't know she was in the room. He kept this shit _private._   Not that he was ashamed of Kravitz, hell no, but he did _not_ want other people to know how invested he was. "Hey? When'd you get here?"

"I just--" Lup's ears pinned straight to her skull and she coughed. "We need to make dinner." When Taako didn't immediately get up and go to the kitchen, she added, "I forgot it was the eighth day."

"It's on the calendar," he said, just a pinch annoyed. "It's the only thing I ever put up there."

"I guess it's important." She stayed by the door, hovering. Lup looked like she had something she wanted to say.

"Lup--"

"I know I--" For a moment, her breath caught in her throat. Her hand gripped the door, but she willed herself to keep speaking. "Lied. I know Barry wouldn't do anything--bad. I--" Lup cast her eyes down to the floor, guilty. "Sort of used you as an excuse."

Oh. _Oh!_ They were doing this now. Fantastic. He didn't even have to bully her into it. If she took any longer, he might have been tempted to. Taako rearranged himself on the bed to look less threatening, more youth pastor. If Lup was going to take advice, he was going to give it. And he was going to give _a lot_ of it. No more hiding what he really thought. No more half-answers and question dodging. Time to get some sense into his dense sister's head.

"Well, yeah, sort of...wasn't expecting that..." Taako chewed on the inside of his lip, thinking. "I thought I made it pretty clear I approved of you and Barold."

"I know, it was just--like, you caught us, and I wasn't. Thinking." She closed the door, locked it, and sat down on the edge of Taako's bed. "And I guess I. _Have._ Been thinking, like, I've had time to do that."

"Mhmm." He tried his best to sound casual, detached so that she wouldn't freak out and run away. "Four years."

"Four years," she repeated under her breath. Her eyes widened and she already looked like she wanted to run away again. Lup hopped off of his bed and paced around the minimal floor space, sent into a panic. _"Fuck,_ four years, I can't--I can't just _apologize_ to Barry and expect him to--"

"Lup, stop." Taako grabbed her by her jacket to get her to stop running all over his room. "Are you trying to get advice out of your wise older brother, or do you want me to call you out on your bullshit?"

"Can I get a little bit of both?" She sat back down on the bed. Didn't even tease him about being the wiser or the older one, so he knew she was bad off. "I'm--not doing great."

"C'mere," he said, reluctantly opening his arms out for her. Lup always needed a little extra comfort, and he'd be a shitty brother to deny her that. She curled up into him immediately, looking more shy than she would normally act. Taako heaved out a performed sigh, even though he knew he didn't have to pretend like he hated giving affection to his sister when they were the only two in the room. Or maybe he did need to. She knew his sarcastic affection was genuine at its core, but that didn't mean he'd spell that out for her. "You want to fill me in on all the bullshit you didn't tell me about?"

"Barry and I-- _tried_ the whole. Uh. Casual relationship thing. It didn't work, I--kind of got attached." Neither twin looked each other in the eye as she described that, even though it was very brief. No need to plant those images into each others' heads. "And then you--caught us, and. He asked if we should just--go and make things official. Actually-- _be_ together, y'know?"

"What'd you say?"

"That I needed to talk to you first." Lup let out a groan, and it matched the annoyed one Taako made in return. Both of them keenly aware of how much she screwed up. "Which--I didn't. I knew I didn't, it was a big fucking excuse. But." She spoke quietly, barely a sigh. "I knew I'd fuck it up somehow."

"Full offense, but you kid of--fulfilled your own prophecy there." Taako snorted and pushed Lup out of his arms. This was getting weird and he needed to watch her face to see when she tried to pass a lie through. "So-- _what?_ You told him I didn't want you to date him?"

"Kind of?" She grit her teeth together and raised her shoulders up to her ears. "I think he knew I was lying."

"I gave him advice on the beach year," Taako admitted, because. Look. He thought he could be supportive from the shadows before, helping both sides and saying nothing. But, obviously these two were a lot more dense than he'd previously calculated. "He knows I already approve of all this."

"Oh. Then he _definitely_ knew." Very casually, Lup picked one of Taako's pillows out from behind him, smashed her face into it, and screamed, heel kicking into his mattress. Taako held back a laugh or three before schooling his face into something more appropriate for the conversation.

"Do you... _want_ to be with Barry?" He tilted his head towards her and raised his brows. "Like, for real."

"Yeah." She lifted her eyes and nose from the pillow, her voice muffled by the cushion. "Like, I'm--kind of fucking terrified to do that? But--obviously it worked out for you. And. You seem really happy. I would like to have that." Lup brought her face out of the pillow, all twisted and colored red. "And I also want--want to, uh. Make him happy. I don't like seeing him sad."

"That's--"

"But--" Lup sucked in a sharp breath and her head went right back into pillow town. "I know that. I can't just--I can't just _go back_ to the way things were, I did rip the dude's heart out and ignore him for four years." She dug her face further in the pillow, voice high and close to cracking. "Even if I apologized, he wouldn't want me back. I don't think I'd blame him, either."

"I fucked up," she said, her composure broken down to a fine dust, the sound of sobs muffled by the pillow. "I know Barry was keeping it secret because I was too much of a fucking-- _coward--_ to tell the rest of the crew, but--then I had to go and-- _fuck it up!"_

Taako moved forward to hold Lup, knew she needed to verbally vent and get all of this out of her system. She clung to him tight, half because this was the first time she'd had any sort of physical contact in four years (when she runs, she _runs)_   and half because Lup liked to cry _on_   Taako.

"What the hell am I supposed to do?" she asked, voice breaking over the words in a way Taako hadn't heard in a while.

This wasn't how the two of them normally operated. Lup was rarely unsure of anything. Taako rarely gave good advice. But things had changed over the past fifty years or so. They had to rely on people other than each other. Taako brought in another person in his closest circle of trust, and Lup needed to do the same. He had enough experience wooing Kravitz over and over again to get Lup's relationship back on track. And, yes, it would take more apologizing and less magic resets for that to happen, but. Taako knew the basics. He could accurately help her. And he wanted to-- _fuck,_ he needed to. Lup deserved to have something good, too, even if they were stuck in whatever the hell this mess was.

So, even though Taako felt underqualified for this, he had to do it.

"Okay. Here's how you fix this." Taako spoke clear and slow, catching Lup's full attention. "I want you to remember everything you just told me."

She nodded once. "Alright."

"And tell it to Barry."

 _"What--"_  Lup pushed him away, offended that he had the _audacity_ to tell her to _communicate_ with Barry. "I can't just _say_ that, Taako!"

He just shrugged. "Well, not in the common room. You'll have to get alone with him first, which, might be a little bit of a logistical nightmare now--"

"No, not that, I--" She upended her sentence with a groan, kicking into the air once out of blind frustration. "Obviously, I can say that to you. Natch. I can say _anything_ to you." Lup slouched over. "It's. Different with Barry."

"Of course it's _different,_ he's not your brother." Taako flipped his head, which got a laugh out of Lup. "But--listen. You've got an enormous amount of time to start--to trust him just as much as you trust me."

"Do you trust Kravitz as much as you trust _me?"_  Ugh, even when she was hurting, she _still_ tried to mine information about Taako's relationship from her conversations. "Like, is that normal? Is that the endgame?"

"I don't," he admitted, and that was true (attraction wasn't trust--he'd have to work at that later, when he had the time with Kravitz), "I also don't get to speak with him, like, for real all the time." Taako could feel his cheeks heating up as he spoke, couldn't stand Lup's stare directly into his soul. "But. Uh. In the future. Yeah."

Lup seemed like she accepted that answer, although it was pretty reluctant. "I just don't see that happening. To me." Her shoulders scrunched up to her ears, face turning an even darker shade of red. "I'd _like_ it to happen, yeah, 'cause. Fuck. It's kind of exhausting to...not trust him, you know?"

"Sort of." Taako watched Lup's face, tried to find any traces of lies or half-truths. "I thought you did."

"More than...the rest of the crew, I think. Not as much as you." She watched him, and for a second he thought she'd say _never as much as you,_ but she shook her head. "I want it to get closer."

Oh.

That...was a start.

"I think you should start by telling him that." Taako offered her two strong pats on the back, and then a pull on the ear for good measure. Dumbass took _four years_   to get to this point. That's too long for someone as smart as her. "And fucking apologize, while you're at it. I don't know if you've been looking at the dude, but he's _shot._ Kind of broke his whole heart, there. And, like, normally I'd say _fuck that,_ but, it's Barry."

Lup frowned, kicked him in the shin, and looked off into the distance. "What if he hates me?" 

"I don't think he can." Taako cocked his head to the side. "Hey, here's an idea."

"What?"

"How about you go do this right now? The sooner, the better."

"Next year," she said, her voice exhausted, "I'll find a way to do it next year."

And then next year came.

As soon as Davenport drove them into the plane of cycle forty-seven, every member of the crew faced a wall of noise. It took a moment before any of them could hear anything specific, but the noise was made up of layered stories and songs, thousands played at the same time. It was overwhelming, having so much information blasted into their minds in a matter of moments. After a minute of processing, the crew started hearing and seeing specific pieces.

"What's that face for? What are you seeing?"

"Paul Blart 3," Taako said, about to vomit from all the fart jokes. "It's coming."

Davenport, unshaken by the information injected into his brain (dude must have had some kind of resistance towards the noise wall, took all the new information in stride) kept driving through the plane. The planet was scarcely populated, huge patches of land where nothing lived. But there was one continent, small and contained, which had a few kingdoms sitting around a mountain. After a few days of flyovers, the Light headed in that direction, so Davenport did too. He brought the ship down in front of what looked to be a town hall, and people flooded out of the building to greet the seven of them.

They led the crew to the sprawling office of a woman who introduced herself as Chancellor Marlow. She greeted them warmly, offered them tea and pastries. When she heard they were from another world entirely, she launched into a speech detailing their country's politics, how they deigned to skip military conflict and live without bloodshed, instead focusing on culture. She did speak about politics for a long while, and it was largely uninteresting.

"That sounds largely uninteresting," Taako said, balancing a pencil between his upper lip and nose. He expected Lup to smack it off his face, but she only sat there, hands in her lap. Eyes on the floor. Fuck, he just wished she would talk to Barry so she'd stop beating herself up over all this.

"We saw your ship sailing through the air," Marlow said, and took a long sip of her tea. Purposefully ignored Taako's outburst. "A few of the conservatory's students have already started creating pieces based on the event. It was beautiful."

Davenport passed a hand through his hair, proud. "She's quite the ship, I don't blame them."

Barry blew an annoyed breath out his nose. "Ma'am, we saw--"

"It's Chancellor Marlow." 

 _"Chancellor Marlow,"_ Barry said, correcting himself through his teeth. Ever since cycle forty-two, he was on edge and frustrated at every slight bump in the road. Taako wasn't sure what Lup actually said to him when she cut herself off, but it must have been nasty for him to react so coldly to everything around him. He had gotten better over the years, but was still pretty irritable. "We're trying to find something called the Light of Creation. Our mission is to--to find it and bring it with us out of the plane so we can ensure your world doesn't get eaten by this, uh--this evil force that's been chasing us."

"Oh, yeah, sure!" Marlow clasped her hands together on the desk, and then did a double-take. "Wait, how do you all know about the Light of Creation?"

Magnus pointed a finger at Marlow. "How do you know?"

Marlow leaned farther across her desk. "How do _you_ know about the Light of Creation?"

"How do _you_ know?" Magnus asked, standing up. Davenport pinched the bridge of his nose and Lucretia stifled a laugh.

Marlow stood up, stunned. "Maybe it'd be easier if I just show you," she said, picking her calendar off from her desk.

"Yeah," Magnus said.

"Well, oh!" She tapped her finger against the calendar and looked up at the crew. "There's a submission scheduled for today. If we hurry, we can catch the tail end of it."

Chancellor Marlow took them to the Legato Conservatory, filled with classrooms and studios and museums. The building looked to be the darling of the whole kingdom, well kept and polished to a pristine shine. Marlow took them to the back end of the campus, right up against the mountain. They heard beautiful piano music as they approached, and soon enough a student presenting a piece came into view. And--listen, it wasn't as if Taako was overly sensitive to pretty music (at least not as much as Magnus, who was crying behind his shades). But it _did_ remind him of his boyfriend, who he had not pursued in _quite a while,_ and he hoped his sister would actually try and reconcile with Barry so he could stop worrying about her and chase his own bliss.

Taako didn't have a whole lot of time to ruminate on all the years he _could have_ been with his hot music boyfriend before the song ended. The student placed his sheet music before the mountain, looking increasingly nervous. He stood there for a good minute before a flash of light erupted from the cavern, blinding the crew and the spectators.

And the sheet music was gone.

And the _memory_ of the music was gone out of Taako's mind.

A hot wave of panic rose over Taako as he remembered the year he forgot _everything,_ and wondered if this mountain could take away his memories again. Lup reached down to grab his hand, squeezing it. She knew what he remembered. He forced himself not to dwell on it any longer, it probably wasn't as severe as that. Everyone stood silent, still, waiting. Marlow muttered something under her breath, urging the mountain to do something.

Then, just like before, another wave of light blew out from the cavern.

And Taako remembered the song once again, in full force. The crowd cheered, and the student wept, and Marlow shouted something about Forte fucks. Taako wasn't paying much attention, just stood there relieved that he could remember the piece again.

"Well! That's the Light of Creation!" Marlow turned around to address the crew once more, smiling wide. "Any questions?"

* * *

After the reception and another meeting with Chancellor Marlow, the crew came to the agreement that they would try to offer submissions to the mountain in hopes of getting inside.  They flew over to the conservatory the next morning to start preparing their submissions. They waited in a faculty office in the conservatory, each of them with a vague idea of what they could offer to the mountain. Lucretia already knew she wanted to paint something, but the rest wanted to take a tour of the facilities before deciding on what they wanted to focus on. They expected Marlow to come back and show them around.

Instead, a familiar face rounded the corner, nervous smile and all.

"Good morning," Kravitz said, hands behind his back all official-like. Human, short, and dressed nicely. "Chancellor Marlow sent me. I heard you're all preparing to submit pieces to the Light?"

Davenport flicked his eyes at Taako before addressing Kravitz himself, resigned to the situation. "Yes, that's what we've been sent to do." 

"Normally you would have to enroll in classes for three years before you would be allowed to submit, but the Chancellor has let me know that the seven of you are operating under some extenuating circumstances." Kravitz reached for a few folders and a campus map. "I figured it would be good to start off with a tour of the conservatory to see if anything catches your eye."

Magnus grinned wide. "Thanks, Kravitz!"

Kravitz stalled for a moment, like he always did when presented with a memory contradiction. "How do you...know my name?"

"Chancellor Marlow told us," Lucretia said, calm and confident. Kravitz didn't suspect a thing, and gave a polite nod. He ushered the group of seven out of the faculty office and into the open campus. It was a lot more densely packed than the day before, now that all the students were out in the open instead of watching the submission. Students sketched plants in the green areas and spray painted works out by the concrete, ate lunch in the decorated courtyards and spent their breaks socializing next to the class halls. Kravitz gave them a very general tour for their first walkaround, showing them buildings and points of interest on campus.

Taako _did_ try his best to behave, because he was still worried about Lup, but _damn_ was this year's Kravitz cute. Human. All dressed up fancy in the conservatory wear. Just a bit shorter than normal. He didn't braid or dread his hair, just had it loose and pulled to the back of his head with a thick band. Showed off how coiled it was, all sprung together against his skull. Kind of weird that he was here and wasn't out reaping anyone, but Taako wasn't going to look a gift horse in the ass.

Lup saw him staring and knocked her shoulder into his.

After Kravitz gave a quick tour around the place, they found themselves at the cafeteria to take a break. The food was _ehh,_ and Kravitz laughed at Lup and Taako's disdain for it, assuring them that the food they made at the culinary branch was much better. Taako wondered if he should go there for the year, but it didn't really call out to him when they passed by. It was mostly stuffy folks in crisp clean chef's suits, focused on _the art_ of the food and not caring about how good it tasted or how many people it could feed. That wasn't his style, and he had a feeling he'd be scoffed at there. Besides, it would be more fun if he just _cruised_ for the year. Pick something easy. He didn't know what yet, but he didn't want to work too hard.

The rest of the crew looked like they were thinking hard about their assignments, though. Probably wanted to do _well,_ the nerve of them. Kravitz produced a big foldout map of the campus and laid it on the table so the crew could form ideas. Everyone except Taako stared at it, elbows on the edge of the paper and face hunched over the image. Taako could look at the map once they were all done being nerds. There must have been some easy ones on there, right?

"Does it have to be music?" Magnus finally asked, face screwed up in confusion.

"Of course not, although that would be my personal choice." Kravitz gestured around to all the class halls on his map, each meant for a different art. "We have a vast number of buildings, for every media you could possibly imagine. I'm sure you'll find something that speaks to you."

"Could we stop by the painting studio first?" Lucretia found the painting building on the map and tapped her finger onto it. "I have a pretty good feeling I'll want to spend my time there."

"I don't see why not. It's fairly close by." Kravitz rounded them all up and they left the cafeteria, food discarded and map retrieved. Thankfully, Lucretia's destination wasn't too far away (after that long tour, everyone's dogs were barking), just a jet across the nice cafeteria courtyard.

"This is the painting and sculpting center," Kravitz said, holding the door for the entire crew. "If you have your heart set on painting, I'd go into that office over on the left. They can get you started." He handed a folder to Lucretia, instructions for the professor.

"Thank you." Lucretia smiled and waved at the crew, stepping backwards towards where Kravitz directed. "I'll see the rest of you later, alright?"

Which left six of the crew and Kravitz standing awkwardly in the painting and sculpting hall. Davenport requested to see the map again, squinted his eyes as he and Merle looked it over. Magnus folded his arms, lost in thought. Lup looked distracted, eyes wandering over to Barry with a guilty expression. Barry didn't notice, too tired and frustrated as he thought his options over.

After enough time of all of them just standing there like idiots, a couple of students passed by with armfuls of whole tree stumps, and a big black toolbox.

"Now, hold on," Magnus said, taken out of his funk, "where are _they_ going?"

"Oh, I think those are woodcarving students?" Kravitz didn't sound very interested. "It's a pretty small department, we only have two professors."

"Woodcarving?" Some of Magnus' energy came back, his eyes all lit up. "Like--with weapons? And knives, and shit?"

Kravitz' eye twitched. "I mean. They have special knives--"

"I want to do that." Magnus snapped a finger and pointed at the students carrying trunks.

"Because it's a thing you can do with weapons?" Kravitz frowned, ready at any moment to tear the hair out of his scalp. "They're not--they're not chopping down trees with _scimitars,_ you know. It's an extremely delicate--"

"--I think I'll do this one with the chainsaw," one of the students from before said as they traced their thumb into the rings of the trunk. Another student high-fived them and yelled out, "sick!"

Magnus only smiled wider. Kravitz sighed into his hands.

"You know what? I think Professor Kristoph would like you," Kravitz said, barely hiding how frustrated Magnus' desire to chop wood with weapons was. He handed Magus a folder and all but pushed him away from the rest of the group. "His office is in room 204, have fun."

With a nod and a grin, Magnus was off, rushing after the woodworking students. Kravitz barely had a moment to catch his breath from _all that_ before Merle coughed and spoke up.

"You know," he said, in that voice he used right before he was about to say something stupid and batshit insane, "I think I'd like to try out interpretive jazz."

Kravitz looked down at Merle with an unsettlingly neutral expression.

"That _doesn't exist."_  

"I can make it exist," Merle said with a shrug and a grin.

"Are you sure about that?" Kravitz did not lower himself to Merle's height, just stood towering over him as intimidating as possible. "Are you _positive?"_

"Probably."

"I can take you to all sorts of--we have professors in interpretive dance, and jazz, and tap, and ballet, and a whole swarm of other _perfectly_ respectable dance styles..." Kravitz turned his hand in circles in the air, trying his very best not to explode. It wasn't working. "And you-- _you_ want to throw that all out the window to _make some bullshit up?"_

And, boom goes the dynamite.

"Well. Yeah." Merle shrugged. "Art is whatever you want it to be, bud, you can't shut me out like this."

"What was your name?"

"Merle Hitower."

"Well." Kravitz dropped a folder into Merle's hands, voice calm but laced with poison. He stared right into Merle's eyes, not even bothering to hide his anger any longer. "Go find the interpretive jazz building yourself, if you're so confident, _Merle fuckin' Hitower."_

"It's Highchurch."

"I'll make sure to remember that," Kravitz said, with a little bit of venom and a lot of dramatic irony.

Merle waddled his way out of the painting and sculpture building. Kravitz took a moment to compose himself before addressing the crew again. Only four left. Taako still had no clue what he was going to do, and Lup, Barry, and Davenport seemed just as confused.

"Do any of you have any _good_ ideas?" Kravitz asked, exasperated.

The four of them looked amongst each other. Seemed not. Kravitz let out a sigh, although it sounded like a sigh of relief--if he had four blank canvasses in front of him, maybe he'd be able to knock some sense into at least one.

"I don't," Davenport admitted. "I'm an engineer and a pilot, not an artist."

"Everybody has something that speaks to them." Kravitz smiled, calmed himself down. Seemed a lot more apologetic towards the crew members who admitted they had no idea where to start. "How about I show you to the music hall? That's a good place to get started if you don't have any ideas."

They didn't have any other leads, so they let Kravitz take them to the music hall. A few professors from the vocal department passed by on their way to lunch, intrigued by the new students. Excitedly, they all asked the crew to give them their vocal range. Taako botched his on purpose, not wanting to do the _work,_ thank you. Barry and Lup weren't much better, but they took a genuine go at it. Their faces all lit up when Davenport sang. He was whisked away into a room further back before Kravitz could even introduce them formally.

"Well." Kravitz shoved a folder under the door they took Davenport into. "That's that, I suppose."

"I didn't know he had a good voice," Lup said, bewildered.

"Hidden talents." Kravitz smiled, but then caught himself. "Or--not _talents,_ exactly. Anyone can hone their craft and become a master if they put in the effort. People have different starting lines. It's unfair to chalk that all down to talent."

Barry crossed his arms, more on guard now that it was just him, Taako, and Lup. "I don't think any amount of work can make me good at singing."

Kravitz held in a laugh. "If you had more than a year, maybe. But--no offense, your voice was--a little lacking."

Lup didn't come in immediately with any sort of jabs or jokes. The lack of all that seemed to make Barry more nervous, and Taako chimed in with something not worth mentioning twice just to get the conversation rolling. Still, Kravitz chuckled at it. He said he had an idea of something for them to try out, and they followed him up the stairs to the back of the building.

"This is my personal favorite area," Kravitz said, holding the door open for the last three. Inside was a simple room with various instruments stored around. One wall held most smaller strings, small brasses, things that didn't weigh more than a few pounds. A locker on the other wall held larger instruments in cases: tubas, cellos, larger horns and brasses. A full scale grand piano sat in the middle of the room, surrounded by double bases and xylophones and larger drum sets. This was certainly heaven for anyone wanting to find an instrument. "If you're interested in music at all, you can use this room to test an instrument out."

Surprisingly quick, Barry shuffled over to the piano in the center of the room. He eyed it, skeptical, and plucked out a few notes in succession. He adjusted his fingers and pressed a chord down. This wasn't his first time playing a piano, it seemed, even though he looked nervous to touch it. Like it was made of glass.

Now it was Taako's turn to nudge Lup's shoulder. "C'mon," he said, barely a whisper, "you said you'd do it when you had an opening."

"I did." Lup watched him and moved a strand of hair behind her ear. "You're right." After a moment of thought, she walked up to Barry. No more hesitation on her end.

"You know how to play?" she asked him, just in the edge of his personal space. Far enough away that he could escape, but close enough that he'd know her intention.

"I, uh--" Barry's hands ripped away from the piano like it had burned him. It took him a minute to fully register that she was _talking_ to him again. "Took some lessons when I was a kid. I'm not _great_ at it."

Lup smiled at him, unbothered by how he floundered through a sentence. "Can I hear?"

"Sure, I--" Barry's face heat up as he processed the request and he scrambled to sit on the piano's stool. "Sure."

After getting a thumbs-up from Lup, Taako stopped listening in on their conversation. Lup was an adult, she could navigate flirting on her own now that she got through the emotional walls that held her back. Which left Taako open to look at the man next to him. Now that he wasn't worried about Lup's well being, he could make another go at Kravitz if he wished.

And, _yeah,_ he wanted to.

"Are you going to try anything out?" Kravitz asked, even before Taako could get out a flirty little comment or snide observation. Damn, this guy had it bad.

"Can't really hold a tune, my man." Taako bumped his head towards Lup and Barry, eyes still on Kravitz. "And I've been tryin' to get those two alone for a while, gotta let 'em take that opportunity."

Kravitz watched the two and smiled. "They do look like they would make a sweet couple."

"Right?" Taako wished he could lean up against Kravitz and continue this conversation, but kept his distance. It'd just scare him off. "They've been dancing around this for about thirty years."

"That's...a long time."

"I know, I, uh--couldn't drag my feet for that long." Taako grinned up at Kravitz, arms folded over each other. "If I see a pretty face, I don't see any reason to delay things."

"That's fair." Kravitz averted his eyes from Taako _pretty quickly,_ already embarrassed and riled up. This was going to be fun. "Should we leave them alone?"

"Fuck, yes." Taako decided to not even say goodbye to the two. Couldn't risk ruining whatever moment they had going on. Kravitz dropped two more folders by the door and left the music room quietly, Taako following close behind. Kravitz closed the door gingerly, afraid to disturb the scene inside.

"Does your sister play any instruments?" he asked, once the two decided to take a seat to figure out where Taako was going to prepare his submission. Kravitz handed him the map, left some extra space between the two as he sat.

"Uh, she hasn't for a long time? She knows how, but, uh, music isn't really either of our _thing."_ Taako opened the map, lazily scanning all the buildings he could find. Searched for something _easy,_ again, he didn't want to break his back trying to get the Light this year. "We ran a con once where she'd play the fiddle so I could steal out of rich people's pockets."

"You--" Kravitz frowned, and did that thing where he sounded genuinely apologetic instead of placating. "Oh, dear, that sounds awful for you."

"I mean, you don't really think about it too hard when you're...uh, I think we were forty?" Taako glanced up at Kravitz, remembered he was human this time, and laughed. "I know that's kind of old for you, but, uh--"

"It's not, really." Kravitz shrunk in on himself a little, embarrassed. "I'm not--I'm not entirely human."

"You look pretty human." It was a tease, Taako knew for a fact that he was mostly powered by goddess juice. He had to joke around with simple questions like this. Couldn't let Kravitz know how much he actually knew about his situation, couldn't freak him out. Much easier to make it fun instead of sounding wholly genuine in his questions.

"I'm actually an emissary for the Raven Queen." Kravitz winced as he said that, and--that was interesting. Usually he was _proud_ of his job and goddess. It was one of the most consistent parts of him. "I know that's very drab," he said, quieter and embarrassed.

"Oh, no, that's goth as hell and I love it," Taako said, noticing a small wash of relief fall over Kravitz at the words. Sure, he wasn't in the business of being completely honest during his first contact with Kravitz, but he couldn't stand seeing him embarrassed of himself. Kravitz was best when he was cocky and snide. Taako wanted to see all of that. "What're you doing here? There some kind of cult in this school?"

"Not at all. I don't normally tell people the goddess I work for, they--give me some interesting looks when I do. I don't think they care for my Lady too much." He spoke slowly and carefully, afraid that he'd say something wrong. Taako wanted to get him right out of that self-conscious zone, no need for that. Kravitz made his voice small. "You don't think it's bad?"

"Nah, it's super cool. I, uh--" Taako scrambled to come up with a sufficient lie to cover this all up. He couldn't say he had an ex who was a follower, that'd just make Kravitz weirdly competitive, and he couldn't say that _he_ was a follower, he had no way to prove that. Same thing with the other members of the crew--if he said they were followers, Kravitz would want to talk shop with them. Barry might have liked that, but he was _obviously_ a necromancer at this point. "I've, uh, known other followers, so, like, I _get_ it."

Kravitz smiled, let his shoulders relax. Good. Taako was an ass, but he didn't want to make his (not-current) boyfriend uncomfortable. He took in a breath and looked Taako over, eyes widening just a fraction. "You have a lot of deaths on your head."

"Goddamn, you can see that?" Taako took a scoot backwards, the map falling to the ground. Sure, he wanted to stay, but he was not about to let Kravitz take him away for another year, no sir. He'd like to avoid that as much as possible. "Uh, you're not going to take me to the Stockade, right?"

"I have the year off," Kravitz said, out in a rush, afraid Taako would bolt. "It's not my problem, currently."

"The whole year?" Taako moved back into his previous space, and if he scooted just a fraction of an inch closer to Kravitz, he didn't point it out. "How'd you snag that?"

"I--to be honest, I'm not sure why I was sent to the Material Plane." Kravitz placed his hands in his lap, staring at them with a distance in his eyes that he only got when his brain ran into a contradiction. "My Lady told me to go live as a mortal for the year." 

"Huh, weird." Taako leaned in closer, hoping to take Kravitz' mind off the mental contradiction. "How mortal are we talkin'?"

"Just, live the life of one?" His voice cracked just a tad higher. He coughed, averting his eyes away from Taako. Did he have to be so obvious when he checked Taako out? "I wasn't given direct orders on how. Just supposed to go experience as much as I can."

Taako hummed, let himself scoot even closer to Kravitz. "You know one thing mortals do?"

"I...do, yes." Okay, now he wasn't even trying to hide his ogling. It'd be rude coming from him if he were an actual stranger, but, fuck it, Taako loved the attention because it was from Kravitz specifically. "I'd like to get to that at some point during the year, I think, um--" He coughed, picked the map off the ground and threw it into Taako's hands. "You do need to pick something. For the--for the submission."

"Uh, lemme see--" Mercifully, Taako took a minute to peruse the map. He didn't want to break Kravitz before date one. He looked at every building, hoping that something easy would pop out. Cooking? Again, the people in the gastro building seemed like they were huge fucking snobs. Pottery? Like, fine, sure, he'd done a few drunk sessions for fun, but it did take a lot of time to do right. Dancing? Too much energy, also Taako wasn't a piece of meat, thank you, that was Merle's job. Sewing? Nope, no way, he couldn't thread a needle even if he used magic. Everything on the brochure seemed hard and time consuming, except-- "Hey, you know what I'd be good at?"

Kravitz laughed. "A lot of things, I'd assume."

"Charming, but I'm not out for flattery _yet,"_   he said, a little too much emphasis on the _yet._   He flattened out the map and pointed his finger on a smaller building off in the corner of campus. "Philosophy."

"Philosophy," Kravitz said, slowly, unbelieving.

"Yeah, c'mon, take me to the philosophy building." Taako folded the map, let it stay messy and tattered, and threw it into Kravitz' arms. He stood up off of the bench, all his joints cracking in protest. "I'll have the whole student body rebelling within the week."

"Somehow, I believe that." Kravitz unfolded the map and then folded it back together properly. Nerd. "The philosophy building is pretty far away, it's a quieter hall. Do you want to take the scenic route? Get a little inspiration on the way there?"

"Hell yeah," Taako said, unable to hide his grin. Kravitz stood to meet him and led him out of the music building.

True to his word, Kravitz did take the scenic route over to the philosophy building. Taako swore they passed by the same tree twice, but didn't dare to call Kravitz out on it. Any time he could spend not doing work was good, any time he could spend wooing Kravitz was better. The campus really was nice, even if it was bothersome that the conservatory was nicer than the city around it.

But Kravitz could only fuck around for so long, and the two found themselves at the philosophy building.

"I would give you directions, but I have a feeling you wouldn't listen to them." Kravitz smiled and handed Taako the last folder in his arms. "I'll look forward to your submission at the end of the year."

"Cool, that works." Taako looked down at the folder, but didn't feel like moving. Wanted to stay here with Kravitz for longer. He knew he should get to work, even if it was bullshit, but maybe he could get Kravitz to hang out with him on their off time. "Do you want--"

"Can I see you again?" Kravitz asked, blurting it out as if he was afraid he wouldn't get a chance to ask.

"I mean, as long as it's not for business." Taako let his grin split his face in half, teasingly patting Kravitz on the shoulder. "Meet me here after class some day, alright?"

"How about Friday?"

"Whatever works for you, my man."

Kravitz took in a breath. "...Thursday?"

"You're that eager?" Taako couldn't hold back a couple chuckles, reaching for the door. "If that's the case, why not just come back later today?"

"I can do that." Kravitz stepped away from the philosophy building and waved. "See you at five?"

"You better," he said, and shut the door.

* * *

It didn't take too long for Taako to stage a revolt in the philosophy department and become a professor. He had fans in the department within a few days (not counting Kravitz, who did sit in and listen to Taako give lectures once a week or so). He wasn't saying anything super _groundbreaking,_ just made up a bunch of bullshit, but these assholes ate that right out of the palm of his hand. Which--was great. Because it meant his plan would work. He didn't have to do much work, just chilled for most of the year. And people still loved him. Nice how that worked out.

He didn't see a lot of Lup. She told him that she convinced Barry to do a collaboration with her for their submission. Something about how it'd be easier to get a submission if they worked on it together. Taako didn't believe that one bit--too many cooks in the kitchen spoils the broth? Was that the right saying? He should put that in one of his books. Taako liked working solo, because then nobody would know he was bullshitting, and then he could spend stupid amounts of time with his boyfriend. Which he did. Funny how he could do that now that he didn't feel guilty about ruining his sister's happiness.

They went out after classes and went to Light submissions together. Taako took him to restaurants to bitch about the food and then made wholly superior dishes in Kravitz' apartment. He spent a lot of time at Kravitz' apartment. Enough to have his own drawer in his dresser, which turned into two drawers, which turned into Kravitz laughing as he offered a bit of closet space to Taako, an action he immediately regretted once he saw what Taako brought in. It was great to have another year with Kravitz, after worrying about Lup for so long. Maybe if she kept seeing Barry, Taako wouldn't worry about dating the Kravitz in the future so much. He'd be able to have these lazy mornings with the guy, to trace his fingers into his weird soul tattoo and make him eggs while criticizing his pantry space.

But. Because he was a professor, he still had to suffer through office hours. Couldn't be with his boyfriend all the time, they had _jobs._ Now, getting a student to come to office hours was about as rare as getting a golden egg, so most of that time was spent dicking around in his office, passing the time by writing more aphorisms down in his horribly plagiarized book. Every once in a while someone would come in, but this was _philosophy,_ so most of the time Taako could tell them that the answer was inside them all along and they'd be happy with that.

Today, though, he had someone roll into his office that he couldn't wave away with some mumbo-jumbo and a wink.

"Taako?" Barry poked his head through the door, looking like he simultaneously wanted to run to the other side of the planet and also crumble right into Taako's arms.

"Barry, my man." Taako pushed aside everything on his desk. This felt important. But, also, he did it, like. _Hella_ casually, so Barry didn't think anything was up. "It's been too long."

"I thought--" Barry looked out the door. Planning a last minute escape? He sucked in a breath and stuck his head further in the door. "It would be awkward to speak to you."

"Nope. You're welcome anytime." Taako used a gust of wind to turn the chair in front of his desk around, so Barry could sit. "C'mon. I'm all ears."

Barry slid through the door and shut it, shaking as he sat down. "Your ears _are_ pretty large."

"Cut that out, Bluejeans, let me know what's eating you." Taako had a pretty good idea what was wrong, but. Damn it, he needed total transparency here. Miscommunication got them here in the first place, and Taako played dumb but he wasn't dumb enough to fall for the same mistake twice.

It took a lot of mental fortitude for Barry to speak up again. At least, that's what Taako assumed, by the lines that creased Barry's forehead. "Lup's been--" In a flash, his face turned bright red, as if he were embarrassed by his own admission. "Flirting. With me. Again."

"I'm shocked," he said in the flattest voice he could muster.

"I assumed she talked to you about it." Barry chuckled, although there was no humor in it. "Can I--is it also safe to assume that you _weren't_ the reason she bailed on me for no goddamn reason?"

"Nah, listen." This time, Taako placed all the papers on his desk into the drawers. Barry needed to know explicitly how important this conversation was. "She just gets--uh, scared sometimes. Happens to the best of us." He looked Barry dead in the eye. "Don't tell her I told you that. 'S insider information."

"Thanks, but. I just--" Barry grit his teeth, going over his words carefully. "I don't know if I should--start things back up with her."

"Whoa, wait, hold on a second." Taako pointed at Barry, brows furrowed. "You're not chickening out on my sister."

"That's not what's happening." Barry opened his mouth to say something else, but whatever it was got lost to the air with the _look_ Taako shot in his direction. Barry slumped into the chair and sighed. "I mean. I guess it is? I just. How do I know she won't just run off like that again for no reason?"

Taako shook his head. "You don't. _I_ don't know when she's about to."

"I don't know how to deal with that." Barry's hands clung to the arm of the chair until his knuckles turned white. "Like--I guess I can understand. Running when things get bad, that's. I'm not a big fan of it, but I _get_ it. If she just needed alone time when shit hit the fan I could deal with it." He looked at Taako, dead in the eyes, pain in his face. "But just--flat out running? Without a word? Who _does_ that?"

"She always comes back," he said, shoulders stiff. "If that's what's worrying you."

Barry frowned. "I can't know that for sure."

"Yeah, you can." Taako stood from his chair and rounded his desk, sitting on the edge in front of Barry. He weaved his fingers together, voice going low and soft. Emotions time. If he could. "Listen. Lup is--she and I sort of--okay. Fuck. I'm about to get into some bullshit, and--you can't. Tell anyone. Or laugh."

Barry nodded, taking the moment as seriously as Taako hoped him to. "Of course."

With a quick application of the silence spell on the door, Taako felt more comfortable speaking. He could trust Barry. He had to keep telling himself that. "Lup and I kind of--we have the same. Problems. I mean, obviously, right? Grew up the same. Or. Similarly. A couple'a things branched off for the two of us, we're not the same person." He looked down at his hands and saw his fingernails dug into the flesh of his palm. Taako let out a breath and dropped his hands to his side. "Bottom line: we sort of--share our fuckin' issues. It's really diffi--hard, to--sort of...uh. You know."

"Trust people?" Barry asked.

"I mea--yeah, that's what I was trying to say. Not--people in general, just. New people." He waved his hand in the air, not gesturing at anything in particular. Just needed his hands occupied. "And when Lup gets like that, she runs. That's just--what she does." He leaned forward, still far away from Barry but close enough to make a difference. "She always comes back, you don't have to--that's not the issue."

"You're her brother," he said, just a tad bitter. "Of course she comes back. She trusts you."

"She came back to you after four years." Taako stood off of his desk, moved closer to Barry. Fuck, he hated this conversation. This. Was bad. And put him in a stupidly vulnerable situation. But he had to. For Lup. "She didn't just--come back on a whim. You should have-- _seen_ how broken up and worried she was trying to--talk to me. About whether or not to." He stopped, hovered over Barry's seat. "Try things out again."

"What are you getting at?" Barry stood, shaken and shocked.

"The fact that we're having this conversation _at all_ means she trusts you." Taako used his full wizarding height, not very tall but taller than _Barry,_ at least. He needed all the intimidation he could get here. "If she didn't, she wouldn't have regretted anything when she ran. I mean--if you _saw_ how torn up she gets when she runs from _me,_ you'd. Understand."

"How?"

"'Cause it was pretty close to how she was when she came back to you," he said, voice tight. He reached for Barry's shoulder and squeezed it, really getting this into the dude's mind. "Look. If it's too much to be with Lup, I, uh--I get it. I mean. I _don't_ get it, because she's my sister and. I know how, uh, what capacity she has for, uh. Love." He squeezed the shoulder harder. "But--Barry, it's--it takes. A lot of work. To keep two people together. And I guess--you've got to decide if you're willing to put in that time with Lup, specifically. Everyone has--has something about them that's--that you have to. Sort of. Look past." He laughed once and let go of Barry. "I mean, for example, my boyfriend doesn't--remember me. And I could lose him at any time. And he tries to kill me on a regular fuckin' basis. And I'm-- _so positive_ that there's shit about _me_ that he's--that he doesn't like."

"Taako--"

"My point is, you have to figure out whether or not you're willing to throw out _all_   your feelings for Lup just 'cause she runs off. And that's not--it wouldn't be...if you think you can't handle that, it's fine. Just. Tell her." Taako scrunched up his face in the most intimidating way he could, getting all up in Barry's space. "But I swear, if you make her feel bad about it, I will call upon every force I have access to, up to and including any powers from the death goddess that powers my boyfriend, to make sure you don't come out of the Hunger alive."

"I--" Barry's face heat up again. "I wouldn't make her feel _bad_ about it."

"Good," Taako said, and sat back behind his desk. He did all he could. Now he just had to see if anything came of it.

Barry's hand went to his neck, picking at the fine hairs that laid right at the top of his spine. "I should probably talk to her."

Taako nodded once. Emotional vulnerability over, advice shop closed. "That would be best, yeah."

"Do you really think she trusts me?" he asked, making a face that Taako had never seen him make before. Something between embarrassed and...hopeful? "I could see--I could. Wrap my head around the whole running thing if she. Came back."

"Barry," Taako said, diving into his last reserve of honesty for the day, "I've never seen her trust anyone other than me as much as she trusts you." He gave Barry one last moment of solid eye contact before turning his face away in a false aloof action. "And I think if you gave her time, we would be equal."

"Wow." For the first time Taako had seen in a while, Barry smiled. "I'd--be kind of dumb to throw that away."

"You would." Taako pulled out his papers again, ending the deeper part of the conversation without words. "It's your decision, though."

"Thank you." Barry reached forward to read some of Taako's work. He snorted as he read the first line, some quote he stole from Fantasy Terry Crews. "You know? You'd actually be a good philosopher if you'd stop stealing other people's ideas."

Taako flared his nose out. "I haven't been stealing anything, I have no idea what you're saying."

Barry laughed so hard, some of his spit launched onto Taako's paper.

* * *

Kravitz insisted on sitting in for the crew's submission. He'd dated Taako for most of the year, so he was head over heels by the time the moment came along. He sat next to him and laced their hands together. Kravitz almost cried hearing Davenport's opera. He congratulated Magnus on his duck. He marveled at Lucretia's painting. He suffered through Merle's interpretive jazz ("I can't believe he actually did it,"). He didn't have to wonder what was inside Taako's book of aphorisms; he'd already read it at least three times over. Still, he laughed when Taako presented it to the mountain with the same attitude he did when plopping a plate of eggs into someone's hands for breakfast. Taako wasn't too interested in this whole ceremony. Like, sure, good for his friends, they all made fulfilling pieces of artwork, that's great (he may or may not have started weeping when the Light re-broadcasted Magnus' duck). But he was waiting for something specific.

When Lup and Barry joined the stage together, he gripped Kravitz' hand a little tighter.

Taako hadn't seen much of Lup. Normally, this would be a bad thing. But he knew that Lup and Barry reconciled at some point during the year. He wasn't sure to what extent--Lup kept it quiet, for some fucking reason. Taako was not a fan of that, he just wanted to know if Barry was dating his sister. He had another talk he wanted to give him if they actually got together. You know. Normal older brother stuff. The fact that Taako hadn't seen much of either of them after having his little chat with Barry told him that _something_ happened. Lup wouldn't look so nervous on stage if nothing changed. Barry--okay, Barry always looked nervous. That wasn't much of a tell.

As soon as they began to play, it became obvious how much their relationship had changed.

They hadn't been able to bring this to a point because of the amount of work they had ahead of them. But after a year of work together, after apologies and healing, they were able to push away the instinct to evade each other and the feelings growing between them. Even in the worst situation possible, through years of reforming and running, Barry and Lup grew indescribably close. They were able to cultivate this relationship, and even after one four year road block, their song was so sweet and harmonious. From an outside perspective, their love looked effortless, but Taako knew it was anything but that. There was still work to be done between the two, but this specific moment was a start. Lup and Barry could keep getting closer, keep working, keep falling deeper in love, in a way that people who followed the natural progression of time would never be able to.

And, as Taako began to realize during the song, in a way that he and Kravitz would never be able to.

Their song finished. Barry turned his head and looked at Lup like she was the sun and all the stars in the sky, and Lup looked at him like he was an unending mystery she wanted to know every facet of. Both clasped their hands together and bowed to the audience, cheers so loud they shook the mountain. Lup whispered something to Barry and he whispered back. They ran off the stage and up the valley towards campus, laughing. Their song re-broadcasted before the two reached the top of the hill.

As most couples do when they hear a particularly shaking love song, Taako and Kravitz stole a glance at each other as the song ended.

Taako couldn't bring himself to care as much as Kravitz seemed to.

* * *

_Taako,_

_I know you told me to stop apologizing, but I'm sorry for chasing you around all last year. I never get to apologize in person, so you'll have to suffer through written apologies until I can see you again. Which I hope is soon, but realistically I don't see another year like that for a while. It's fairly rare to be able to get you into the Queen's court. It wouldn't have taken you thirty years to know I'm the same person if it were easy to get you into court._

_Thank you, though, for keeping me company this year. It would have been awfully lonely without you. I wasn't sure why my Lady sent me down into the material plane! Turned out that there just weren't many necromancers here, and she already had a full staff. I don't often get time to indulge in hobbies, this was really nice. Even nicer when you stayed over. Don't take that as an innuendo--I mean, yes, I enjoy that too, but it's just so wonderful to wake up next to you._

_You know, there's no need to be so self conscious about how mushy your letters get. I love it. It will be nice when I have the time to re-read some of your previous letters. For now, I'd rather spend all my time sending you something to look at over the next year. I just wish I could see your face again when I tell you how much I love you. I don't think I'll ever tire of that._

_Could you send Lup and Barry my congratulations? Their performance was wonderful. Still have it stuck in my head. It must be a relief for you that the two of them have started speaking again. Got a bit nasty for a couple of years, there. I think the two of them will be able to have something really special, as long as they take the time to work at it. I'm a bit envious of them, being able to see each other so often. But, I do enjoy your letters and I enjoy your company, even though I'm unable to fully appreciate it in the moment. Hopefully Barry doesn't neglect his studies of my soul now that he has a distraction._

_I was a little disappointed you didn't take on an instrument this year! You would have looked good with one. Even if you don't know how to play anything, I could have given you some private lessons. I'm winking. Although, don't think I didn't notice that all of your "original" aphorisms were from your home planet. Did you just do that because it was easy? You're a menace sometimes, you know? I love you._

_I have to believe there's an end to this. I used to curse the...you called it the Hunger? I used to curse it for putting me in this situation, but then you rolled along and I--I'm thankful that we found each other, but not in the circumstances that we did. This would all be easier if I just found you on one of my jobs, deemed you innocent, and then was able to be with you afterwards. Still, I can't force myself to regret any of this. I know we'll make it. And when we do, we can have a conversation that lasts well over ten minutes. There are hundreds of things I want to ask you, and even more I want to tell you._

_I've said it a lot of times in this letter already, but once more can't hurt: I love you._

_Yours in every plane,_

_Kravitz_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i told you i'd keep blupjeans! i just wanted. conflict. (and also to show that lup has issues too and she's as multidimensional as taako is) 
> 
> (also, you might have noticed i added one more chapter to the projected length of this......it's now 25 chapters long.........i had to split one of the faerun chapters because something Big happened and it took way too many fucking words)
> 
> so that's the END of blupjeans angst, which means we're launching directly into the next narrative arc of this fic which i've lovingly titled "whoops, taako can't make a genuine connection"
> 
> next chapter is. uh. the jell-o world. and you should all be thankful how many vore jokes i edited out of it!


	14. Cycle 52

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Taako has three very specific and very important conversations.

"I'm sorry, are you alright?"

The question came straight out of left field. Like, _of course_ Taako was alright. He was on another first date with Kravitz and it was only the third week of the year. The plane was _awesome,_ a place made entirely out of jell-o. Even _Kravitz_ was made out of jell-o. Whole place was great. The jell-o inhabitants not only allowed others to eat them, but also enjoyed it. Who could feel sad in a jell-o world? Things were going great, nobody was in ghost jail, Lup and Barry were off on a mission together to find the Light...functionally, it was a good year. Great. Awesome. Kravitz even took him to a nice restaurant for date numero uno, and there must have been an especially strong pull on his soul for him to think taking a walking coat rack themed to look like a wizard to a Fantasy Michelin three-star establishment was a good idea (even though all they served was jell-o). They were deep in appetizer town, trying to find that balance between enjoying the appetizer and not filling up for the entree (both were jell-o, but it was the principle of the thing).

And, whatever, maybe Taako wasn't taking this whole shebang too seriously, and maybe Kravitz looked increasingly nervous when he kept getting the same stock "ahs" and "mhmms" to his stories (Taako could only pretend to be interested in the same stories for so many times in a row). Maybe Taako didn't dress his best for this date, just showed up in his normal IPRE uniform. Maybe he made one too many vore jokes in front of Kravitz. Maybe it kind of felt like he was going through the motions, waiting until the end of the year until he got something of _substance_ out of the guy. But there wasn't anything wrong, the date was going fine.

It was fine.

"What? Me? Yeah, I'm doing just fine. Fuckin' peachy." Taako came to attention, ears pricked up. "What's that supposed to mean?"

"Well, it's just--listen, it's alright if you're not feeling this." Kravitz couldn't muster the courage to look Taako in the eyes, just nervously looked into his glass. "I was already planning on settling the check, so you can pack up and leave if you'd rather."

"Uh. No? No, I'm." Taako tapped his palm on the table. It wiggled from the force of it, because, of course, the table was made of jell-o. "I'm good."

"You just look so uncomfortable." Kravitz finally looked at him, all concerned and worried. "I would hate to hold you hostage here."

Taako balked, pitching his voice all the way up at the _ridiculousness_ of that accusation. "You're not holding me _hostage,_ that's--that's not it at all."

"It just doesn't seem like you're having any fun." He shook his head, resigned to the situation. "I've been on dates before where there's no chemistry, I know it's awful. You can stay if you'd like, and we can stop calling this a date, or you can go. It's your decision."

Kravitz folded his hands in front of him, waiting for Taako's answer. And his first instinct was to say _no, of course not, this is totally a date what are you talking about,_ but his second instinct...was to take Kravitz' offer. Now that he pointed it out, Taako could feel how indifferent he really was to this date. He'd had this exact date a dozen times over. He still loved Kravitz, that much was clear. But as he looked across the table, he saw a man who didn't know him, who knew the date was a bomb, who was attracted to him but wasn't with him.

That wasn't Kravitz. At least, not _his._

"Yeah, actually, I think--I think I'm gonna head out." Taako balled up his napkin and set it on the plate that nobody ever uses for appetizers. He drank the rest of his wine in one swig. "It's nothing against you, really, it's just..."

"Oh, you don't need to give me that. Sometimes it just doesn't work." Kravitz waved his hand in the air and chuckled. "You're not hurting my feelings, I can take a bad date or two."

"I wouldn't say it was _bad."_   Taako shrugged. "Maybe bland."

"That's the word for it." Kravitz poured himself another drink (jell-o), filling the glass (made of jell-o) much fuller than one would normally for wine (jell-o). "I hope you find someone. I'd ask if you'd want to hang out just as friends, but...that still feels a little bit like entrapment."

"Little bit." Taako finally stood out of his seat, adjusted his hat when he came up to his full wizarding height. "For the record, you're still very hot."

"Thank you." Kravitz smiled, leaned his elbow on the table and cocked his head at Taako. Damn. That was cute, maybe he should have stayed. "Hopefully that'll help me snag someone else, huh?"

"I don't think you'll have any problems in the future." Taako tapped on Kravitz' shoulder as he left the table, winking at him. His hand passed through Kravitz' shoulder just a bit, just because. Again. Jell-o. "I'm sure you'll have some new guy on your arm one year from now."

"That's oddly specific," Kravitz said, as Taako left the restaurant. He stepped outside to the cool air of this plane and wondered how he could 1. get a stupid amount of alcohol, 2. get back to the ship, and 3. forget this night ever happened.

* * *

"He's so fucking insufferable when he gets a pet," Taako said, eyes on Magnus trying to teach Fisher how to fetch. It wasn't going so well. Fisher kept eating whatever Magnus threw at him and, briefly, everyone on the ship forgot what a duck was until Fisher spat the memory back out. Taako didn't know how the memory bullshit worked and he didn't really care. As long as he got his memories back quickly, everything was fine (he did not need a repeat of cycle twenty-nine). He wasn't a biologist, he couldn't care less about _how_ Fisher worked.

He said as much to Magnus, when he was asked Taako to figure it out. And then he gave puppy dog eyes to Taako until he snapped and yelled that biology wasn't his strong suit, _maybe go talk to Merle or Barry if you want to know how it works so bad!_ He shut himself in his room after that, and _no, Barry, he wasn't **wallowing,**_ Magnus just. Set him over the edge. Nothing wrong. He had a bad date with jell-o Kravitz and Lup died of jell-o lung two months in, and Merle already died in his yearly parley. All of that bundled together was a recipe for disaster. It had nothing to do with Taako.

So _what_ if he was on edge this whole cycle? Sometimes that happened.

"I think it's kind of sweet," Lucretia said, writing down the whole interaction like it was some kind of world-shaking revelation. Like, _fine,_ her job was to write everything down, but Taako thought she'd be more lax after fifty-two years. "Like a boy and his dog."

Davenport passed by just as Lucretia spoke, raising a hand in the air. "No dogs on the ship."

Lucretia frowned. "But giant jellyfish are...like, _okay?"_

Taako laughed his ass off. Davenport didn't think it was as funny. He went to go to his quarters, and snipped again once he saw what Magnus was actually doing with the fish. "Is that...one of Lucretia's journals?"

"Dunno," Magnus said. He cracked the book open. "Oh. It is. Cycle twenty."

"Don't feed them anything important!" Lucretia stood, projecting her voice forward. "Fisher hasn't been giving back some of the things they eat lately."

"Oh." Magnus looked down at the journal, guilty. "That'd be real bad, huh?"

"It'd be real bad if it made us forget _anything,"_ Davenport reminded him. "Can't you try--I don't know, feeding Fisher something that _isn't_ information?"

"More ducks," he said, and Davenport audibly groaned.

"Taako, can you see if you can get Fisher to eat food?" he asked through grit teeth.

"I mean, I'm mostly working with jell-o this year, but sure." Taako peeled himself out of his seat and made a break for the kitchen. When he heard hulking footsteps behind him, he turned around to see Magnus one step behind him, with Fisher next. Taako blocked the kitchen door. "How many times do I gotta tell you that you're banished from the kitchen for two more years?"

"Five years is too long for microwave crimes!" Magnus tried to step around Taako but was too afraid to make a break past him, like a dog afraid of a surly housecat. "And if Barry didn't get banned, I shouldn't get banned."

"Only 'cause Lup pardoned him." Taako shut the kitchen door to further his point.

Magnus whined. "That's not fair!"

Taako made a point to ignore Magnus' cries of foul play. Instead, he stood at the kitchen door, waving his hands around in hopes that Fisher would follow. They didn't, just floated around Magnus, concerned from the yelling. Taako groaned. "Lucretia, can you just--bring that thing in?" He waved an arm at the jellyfish. "It doesn't listen to me."

Lucretia nodded. "I wouldn't listen to you if I wasn't socially obligated to either, but, sure."

Again, Taako made a point to ignore that. Wasn't really in the mood to entertain those quips (usually he would be--this year was fucked up). He pushed his way into the kitchen, Lucretia and Fisher following close behind. Taako figured he should start off by using food transmuted from jell-o. No use in expending their real-food resources on a jellyfish. They had enough to last them until the end of the year, although they'd still need to have at least three meals a week that were completely jell-o based to keep their stock running that long. Couldn't switch entirely to jell-o. That's how Lup got jell-o lung. They needed a balance of food so they didn't get sick. Taako started transmuting as much jell-o as he could into fish. Jellyfish ate fish, right? They probably didn't. Again, Taako wasn't a biologist.

He assumed Lucretia would leave once she got Fisher into the kitchen, but she stayed and wrote down Taako's process. Fisher floated around her, happy and content until Taako needed to throw a chunk of fish at them. They dropped the chunks out every time, forcing Taako to just go through his mental stock of fish.

"So, uh," Taako said, throwing a chunk of cod into Fisher's bell. "When it, uh--it eats something, it never--it can just. Keep it away forever?"

Lucretia kept an eye on the bell, waiting to see if the cod would drop. "Yeah." 

"Like--" Taako expanded his fingers in a little explosion, _"poof,_ gone for good?"

The cod dropped out of Fisher. Lucretia nodded. "Pretty much."

Taako didn't like the sound of that at all. Sure, it sounded kind of useful--maybe Lup could throw her dead name in there. Maybe they could feed Fisher Merle's plant fetish, so he'd stop bothering the rest of the crew with it. But most other things? No, Taako needed to keep as many memories to himself as he could. He'd try feeding the thing some plants from realities that were already destroyed. No need to waste good recipes on a fish that might make him forget them.

"I mean, I've been able to remember things they've eaten." Lucretia ran her hand on Fisher's smooth bell, watching them with awe. "So I'm not sure how that works."

Taako shrugged. "I'm not a biologist, wouldn't know." He tried to remember plants from previous realities, but he wasn't a plant expert. Maybe he could steal one of Merle's logs and go from there. He took a mass of jell-o and transmuted it into a mushroom. It glowed with a dull light. Right, this was from cycle eight. Where Kravitz killed him. And Lup. And Barry, and Magnus.

"Do you think," he said, breaking the silence. Lucretia swiveled her head to give him her full attention and he croaked. "If. Uh. If we put Kravitz' name in there--"

"Did something happen?"

"Nothing in particular, I just--" He looked back down at the mushroom and frowned. "Was wondering. If we put Kravitz' name in there, and also, the, uh, letters, and the box of stuff I've been--he's given me over the years." Taako refused to look Lucretia in the eye. "Would that just--make us all forget about the guy?"

"I think so." She stayed silent for a few minutes. Lost in thought over this. When she did speak up, she chose her words carefully, worried they would scare Taako off like he was a wild deer. "It would make things a little more difficult running away from him every year."

"It would, right..." Taako swirled his wand in the air a few times, keeping this all casual. "Y'know, this is. Just. A hypothetical. But what if we just--"

Taako looked on the kitchen windowsill. Templeton's pot sat there, glowing dully. Templeton's body was fully digested by the plants long ago, so they did have to keep putting dead rodents in the pot, but it had been there since cycle seventeen. Like the crystal, a reminder of a line that they didn't dare to cross again. He remembered how happy Kravitz was to help with the funeral, how confused he was when Taako didn't care.

"Just--gave them a piece of paper that said I'm dating him," he finished. "What would that do?"

Lucretia tilted her head to the side like a confused bird. "I...guess, maybe you would just forget about your relationship with him?"

"We'd all still know who he is though, huh?"

"Maybe." She stroked Fisher's bell again. "It's hard to say."

Taako didn't make any efforts to affirm that, just went back to transmuting jell-o. Before he could get too far, he felt Lucretia's hand on his shoulder, and turned around to see her brow furrowed in concern.

"We _can_ put his name in, if you want." She spoke quietly, as if this were a secret she didn't want anyone else to hear. "It wouldn't be--I wouldn't think it's the best idea, but if it's really bothering you, we can."

"No," he said, automatically. "No, I--don't think I can." He laughed, although there wasn't anything even resembling humor in it. "And--that's kind of fucked up, right? It'd. Make things easier if I could just get rid of all...that."

"He'll have to remember at some point." Lucretia stepped away from him, gave him space. "It'd be a tragedy if you forgot him before he's able to remember you."

Taako nodded. "That'd be fucked up, right."

"So you don't want me to put his name in there?"

"No, I--I couldn't." He turned his attention back to his conjured mushroom, willing himself not to make a scene out of this. "This sucks, and I'm being dumb, but I don't--want to forget him."

"Sure."

"I mean, like, knife to my throat? It'd probably be easier to forget the _relationship_ rather than Kravitz himself, 'cause, like, then there's always the possibility we could try again. On, like, equal ground?" He chopped the transmuted mushroom into tiny pieces. "But if I forgot him as, like, a-an entity? There'd be a chance that I couldn't--I guess, comprehend him? If you throw someone's name in there, can you ever know them as a person?"

"I don't know," she said, tone unreadable.

"Exactly. Wouldn't want to take that chance." He threw the diced mushrooms at Fisher, frowned when he saw all the pieces fall out as soon as he threw them in. "But, again, I'd like to keep all my memories _in_ the dome, you know?"

Something about the way Lucretia looked at him after that and something about the way she nodded made Taako feel like she'd remember this conversation vividly later on, even though she wrote none of it down.

* * *

Barry shuffled into Taako's room, shy and eyes cast down to the floor. Poor dude couldn't sleep with Lup gone. Taako could understand that. He didn't sleep with Lup unless there was some kind of emotional emergency, but her absence never made it easy to sleep. This was the third time this week Barry came in to Taako's room at night. The thirteenth time that month. And who knows how many times he'd done it in a year? Taako couldn't even pretend to be annoyed with him--now that Barry _finally_ dated Lup, Taako and him were more than friends. Okay, still friends. Still completely, one-hundo percent platonic. But they were a lot closer. It might have taken Taako longer to adjust the size of his family sphere to three instead of two, but with all the time those two spent dragging their feet? Nope, Taako was totally ready to think of Barry as family.

It was a lot easier of a process than he'd thought it'd be.

This was the first year that Lup left the two of them alone. Damn that jell-o lung. Taako wasn't sure why Barry beat around the bush--they both knew why he showed up at Taako's door in the middle of the night. He wouldn't have to do it for too much longer. Two weeks, and Lup would be back. But that made it even harder, sometimes, since she'd been gone for so long. At least Barry and Taako had each other. As much as Taako wouldn't admit it out into the air, he had less dreams of Lup's death when Barry spent the night. Something about having another person there was comforting.

"Hey," Barry said, hand still on the door.

Taako let out a sigh and made space for Barry on the bed. "You really don't have to pretend like this is--a big fuckin' deal, y'know--"

"I didn't knock this time." Barry closed the door quietly, so he wouldn't disturb anyone else on the ship. He didn't get into bed yet, still glued to the door like he wasn't welcome.

"But you're still hanging out over there like I'm about to chase you out, just." Taako gestured Barry closer, rolled his eyes so he seemed less concerned and genuine. "Get over here."

The exhaustion in Barry's eyes won out over his self conscious thoughts, and he flopped down into bed next to Taako, face down into the comforter. He fished out his glasses from between his face and the mattress and handed them to Taako. He placed them on the section of the nightstand that he'd labeled _NERD CORNER._ Barry picked himself off of the mattress and sat a good distance away from Taako, still asking for permission. "You really don't think this is weird?"

"As long as you don't mistake me for Lup, we're good." Taako settled into his spot. He was okay having Barry here, but still wasn't totally _there_ at full comfort with the dude, so they had a pillow wall in between them. Just a little barrier. Taako couldn't imagine he'd need it if they ever needed to make this arrangement again, though. Maybe he'd take it down to one pillow instead of three.

"God, I couldn't even _try_ to mistake you two." Barry let out a nervous wheezing laugh. "No offense, I'm only attracted to Lup."

"Well, good, 'cause, I'm taken and you're not my type." Taako ruffled Barry's hair like he was a kid. "Also you're, uh, kind of--you might end up being my brother at some point, I'm not messing with those forces."

All the breath knocked out of Barry's lungs and he looked at Taako with wide eyes. "You really think that'll happen?"

"If it doesn't, I'll eat my wizard hat."

Barry laughed again, less nervous. He moved to get under the blankets, on the other side of the pillow wall Taako constructed. Barry poked the pillows with enough force for Taako to feel it dully on his back. "Still kind of weird to sleep with your brother."

"Only weird if you make it, Barold." Taako waited for Barry to settle into bed. He kept his eyes on the ceiling. Couldn't sleep or meditate even before Barry came in, so he figured he could do a little bit of brother hazing. "So, when are you going to ask her?"

Immediately, Barry shrunk in on himself, eyes refusing to look near Taako. "I, uh--"

Taako put his chin on the pillow wall to squint at Barry. "You _are,_ right?"

"I assumed she'd want to ask me." Barry kept folding in on himself, scooting away from the pillow wall in fear. "And I--uh, it feels weird to ask when--we're still running from the Hunger."

"Fair." Okay. Taako remembered that Barry was, in fact, a good dude, and probably didn't need to be hazed by his girlfriend's brother. He remembered that Barry was also his nervous friend and needed all the help he could get. "Hot insider tip: when she talks about marrying you, she always says shit like 'when he asks,' y'know? So. It's on you. But don't fuckin' blindside her."

"Huh." Barry froze at the edge of the bed. "Didn't really expect that."

Taako made his voice as calm and distant as possible. "I mean, it's an excuse to get fussed over, I can see the appeal," he said, absolutely not thinking about Kravitz asking him, nope.

"I feel like I should--talk to her about that before even _thinking_ of asking." Barry sounded like he was mostly speaking to himself, and that Taako was only a conversational afterthought. "It's only been five years, it's too early to think about that."

"If you were an elf, I'd understand that, but I don't see any pointed ears on that skull," Taako said, bringing Barry's attention back into the Material plane.

"Are any of us operating on normal time anymore?" He frowned, pulled the sheets closer to his chin. "Five years is nothing in the fifty-whatever we've done here."

"I know it took you two disasters thirty years to make things official, but that doesn't mean you're allowed to _keep_ dragging your feet." Taako lifted his chin again to level a glare at Barry. Fuck, those two should just _get it on_ already. They actually had a chance to. "It'll be a thousand years before anything else happens."

"I hope we're not running from the Hunger for a thousand years." Barry made a point to look at the wall and not at Taako. That didn't fool him. He could see the tips of Barry's ears and the curve of his cheek turn pink. "But, I'll, uh--I'll talk to her. When she gets back. So we're both on the same page. Maybe, uh, make a night out of it."

Taako kicked the pillow wall. "Stop doing cute romantic shit, she'll talk my ears off every time you surprise her."

"She talks about that to you?" he asked, turning his head to reveal that, _yes,_ his entire face was red. How could he just show that off to Taako like it was nothing? Didn't make any sense.

"It's her _new_ fuckin'--strategy to get me to talk about Kravitz." Taako folded his arms on top of the comforter, grumbling to himself. "Thinks if she starts blabbing about you, I'll do the same."

Barry grinned. "Does it work?"

"That's not important," he said, one ear flicking in annoyance.

"You don't gotta pretend that you don't--y'know, care about the dude." Barry lifted his head to look over the pillow wall, cast the smuggest look a guy of his stature could muster. "Obviously you do."

Now it was Taako's turn to pull away from the wall, digging his face under the sheets so Barry couldn't see how bothered he was. He had half a mind to kick Barry back to his room for that, but knew neither of them would be able to sleep if he did. So, he'd just change the subject. "Yeah, but, I'm not, like--I'm not losing my fuckin' squash over it."

Barry lost all of his words for a good minute before he squeaked out, "lose your _what?"_

"My squash," Taako said, slowly, as if that would make Barry understand him better. "People say _lose your gourd_ , right? Squash is a gourd."

"That's not how it--" Barry stuttered out some confused sounds before he groaned and settled back down into bed. Too confused to remember what the hell he had asked Taako before. Success. "Whatever, it doesn't matter."

"You bet your ass it doesn't." Taako settled into his mass of pillows and blankets. Maybe he'd try sleeping instead of meditation tonight. Might as well get his rest in when he had Barry here. If he had a nightmare, it wouldn't be the first time Barry had to deal with it. And his eyes felt heavy, so why the fuck not? It always took Taako a while to drift off to sleep, no matter how good he felt emotionally, so he sat on his back, closing his eyes as he tried to willingly lose consciousness.

Until Barry derailed that entire plan.

"How do you do it?" Barry asked, quietly. If Taako didn't have excellent elven hearing, he might have missed it.

"You're going to have to be more specific," he said, and rubbed his eyes with his forearm to stay awake. "If you're askin' me for the birds and bees talk, then, uh, _no thank you,_ but, if you mean, like, how do you open a pickle jar with magic--"

"I mean, just. How do you--uh." Barry's voice became weaker. Whether that was from the exhaustion or shyness, Taako couldn't tell. "When you don't see Kravitz, do you miss him?"

"Uh." Taako _really_ must have been exhausted, because instead of deflecting or changing the subject, he muttered out a quiet, "yeah."

Barry propped himself up on his arm, watched Taako from the pillow wall. "How do you deal with that?"

"I'm not doing this," he said, digging his face into his own pillow.

"Please?" Barry rested his head on the wall, frowning. "I just--I'm not trying to mine information out of you, I just--I'm thinking about Lup and I can't get to sleep." He looked down. "I miss her."

"I miss her, too." Taako pulled his face out of the pillow. "Me missing Kravitz is different from you missing Lup, y'know."

"I don't see how that is." Barry shook his head, calculating something in his mind. "I'm in love with Lup, you're in love with Kravitz, that's--that should translate. Easy."

"You and Lup are different from me and Kravitz."

"Well, _yeah,_ I get that, but I'm sure some things still work out--"

"You have Lup all the time," he snapped. That came out more forceful than he'd wanted, but, _fuck,_ Barry needed to stop sticking his nose in his business. "I don't have a boyfriend, I've got a weird yearly pen pal. There's a fun-fundamental difference there that neither of you _get,_ and you both need to--" Taako groaned, dug his face in his pillow again. If he spoke again, he'd spill out a lot of bullshit he didn't want to. Fuck this exhaustion. "Forget it."

"We both need to what?" Barry asked, voice gone soft and worried. "If I'm doing something wrong, I want to know what it is."

"Stop--trying to--" Taako felt something bubbling in the back of his throat, but he pushed it down. He couldn't have a breakdown in front of Barry. "I don't _know,"_ he admitted, fingers curled into his palms.

Barry leaned over the pillow wall, face twisted in more concern. "I--that's--that's okay, Taako, we can--figure this out, c'mon, just--" Barry held his arms out, an invitation that Taako could choose to take or leave.

Maybe it was the fact that he didn't have Lup or Kravitz, or that he was tired and sick of eating jell-o, or maybe it was just simply that he couldn't keep this bottled up for any longer. Whatever it was, it made Taako tear the center pillow away from the wall to hug Barry. He made a small _oop_ sound, like he wasn't expecting Taako to crawl into his arms (which was a fair assumption on any other day). He didn't cry, but he just wanted _something--_ just a little bit of comfort.

And, okay, sure. He was comfortable enough to get it from Barry, no matter how mortified he was to admit that.

Barry stayed quiet, unsure what to do with the Taako-shaped weight he had hugging him. "Taako?" he asked, after a minute, breaking the silence, "are you, uh? Good? Do you need anything, or is this just--"

"Shut _up,"_ he said, voice cracking on the tail end of his words. "Thought I established that I don't _know_ what the fuck's going on, so just--" Taako pressed his forehead into Barry's shoulder. "Just--need a minute."

"Okay." Barry curled Taako in with a more confident hug. Dude was soft and big, so all hugs from him were automatically perfect.

"I just--is it too much to want, like, something fucking _normal?"_  He spoke into Barry's sleep shirt, voice muffled by the soft cotton. "Everything else about this mission is-- _absolute horseshit,_ I think I should get cut a break in the boyfriend department."

"Do you not like Kravitz?"

"Fuck you, don't ask me that, I _love_ Kravitz, it's--" Taako pulled his face away, but didn't make any move to extract himself from Barry. He wasn't a fan of baring his feelings out like this, but, if he was going to do it in front of anyone that wasn't Lup, it'd be Barry. "I wish he knew who I was for--longer."

"I'm trying to figure that out," Barry said, and it was supposed to be a comfort but it sounded just a tad defensive. "I know that doesn't really help this now, but. We're getting there."

"Yeah." Taako forced himself back into a calm state. He'd regret everything about this conversation in the morning, but now he needed to rest. "Don't--if you make a big deal out of this, I'll blast you off into the next planar system."

"Okay."

"I'm sleeping."

"Kind of hard to do that when you're still hugging me, bud."

"Nuh-uh." Taako tugged Barry back down, kicking the pillow wall out of commission. "C'mon."

Instead of fighting it, Barry laughed. "Okay, bud." He kicked a few pillows out of his way. "I thought you said you didn't want this to be weird."

"Nothin' weird sleeping next to a sibling, Barry, Lup and I do it when we've got bad years." Taako shut his eyes. If he didn't see Barry, he didn't have to come to terms with the fact that he was about to fall asleep wrapped around the guy. It wasn't a big deal--Lup told him to take care of Barry, and, judging by how easily he went along with this, he probably needed it as much as Taako did.

The next morning, Barry (thankfully) didn't bring up their earlier conversation. He didn't say anything about it at all. A week later, though, he came back to sleep in Taako's room (the pillow wall had been abolished for good), and dropped a stone in Taako's hands.

"I wanted to get this done. For you," he said, and smiled very carefully.

Taako turned the stone in his hands a few times. Just looked like a normal rock. A rock on a string. A couple magic runes carved into it, yeah, but nothing else of note. "What is it?"

"You'll find out in a little bit." Barry held out the string and tied it to make a loop. "Just keep it around your neck during the day, okay?"

"Okay..." Taako dropped the rock on the nightstand. Whatever this was, he didn't have to worry about it yet. He had another week to survive without Lup, and he was exhausted again. Which meant that he had to get Barry to go to sleep.

Thankfully, he didn't need much coaxing.

* * *

_kravitz,_

_hey, uh. sorry for dining and dashing this year. i don't feel too bad about it 'cause, really, the money won't be good in a couple ~~yea~~ weeks anyways. _

No, _fuck,_ that wouldn't work. Taako balled up his letter and threw it in the trash. He should have worked on this letter earlier, for sure, but. This year just...didn't work out too well on that end. That's what happens when Lup dies. At least now, Barry stayed with him and hung out, and the two of them helped each other out through the year. Nice to have someone that missed Lup as much as he did. Lup would probably laugh at them if she found out they slept in the same bed all year, but hey. That's a price to pay for comfort.

Taako sighed, picked up his pen, and tried again.

_hey BABE!_

_ha haaah, psyche! got a free meal out of you. fucking PUNKED. just got dunked on by your boy ~~frein~~ friend_

Fuck. _Fuck._ Why weren't the words he needed coming out right? Unfair. That's what this was. Taako had a pile of letters lining his garbage can, none of them acceptable to put in the box. Some were too mushy, some were downright rude (and, whatever, Taako was a rude guy, sure--but this was his only way of communicating with Kravitz for real, he took it seriously), some didn't even try to make sense.

_hey cool thing about me leaving you during date one: we didn't have to figure out the jell-o vore situation_

Nope! Nope, that was even worse. No way in hell would he send that. This year was really fucking with his brain. Okay. New plan. Taako would just...write down his thoughts. Straight from the dome. No filtering.

_kravitz, sorry_

_it's just getting really hard to actually--you know, go on the same date fifty fucking times. i've been dating you for fifty two years and i don't know a goddamn thing about your home planet. or your last name. do you have one??? i don't, but. that's. a moot point. i just want to talk to you like we're actually together. barry and lup get to be all sappy round the clock and i don't and it's just so hard to watch, i_

God _damn_ it. No, there's no way he would send that monstrosity. That's gross. Taako flopped down on his bed, all the drafts of his letters collecting dust in his bin. He knew he'd have to send it soon, Kravitz would get called into the court any second now. He shouldn't have procrastinated on this, but he'd been trying to put together an acceptable letter for _weeks_ now. Why was this so hard?

Oh, right. It's 'cause he fucked up and ran away from a date and he knew Kravitz would worry his ass off about that.

It wasn't that Taako was getting bored of Kravitz. Quite the opposite. He wanted to know everything about him, the _real_ him. Because, no matter how nice the dude was, or how invested in Taako's soul he was, that doesn't compare to having him at the end of the year. It couldn't.

The first year, when they both met each other for the first time, was the easiest. Taako was never the best at opening up to new people, but he really felt himself start to fall for Kravitz. And it was fine, all the years after, when Kravitz' identity was a mystery and a game to him. Fun to mess around with him, to run away from him, to immobilize him with every tool at his disposal. But ever since he knew _who_ Kravitz was, that he had ten minutes every year to remember, it wasn't a game anymore. It was another mission.

Now, instead of having fun, he had to really _try_ and unlock whatever the fuck was going on with the Hunger. He had to _try_ and help Barry get Kravitz to remember. He wasn't going to stand there and pretend like he wasn't invested in Kravitz, and that he wasn't in love with him, which set him up to be expected to give more of a shit about the Hunger. Before, this was all a fun distraction. Now, it was work.

Alright, work that he _kind of_ wanted to do. It wasn't ideal to run away from the vore cloud every year, and it wasn't ideal to not be with his boyfriend in a more traditional, long-term, no memory bullshit applied sense. But he'd rather have those results now, thanks so much. The larger mystery surrounding his boyfriend was less charming and more infuriating now that there was more on the line. It wasn't a fun sidequest, it was something Taako had to put his full focus into. And, while he had the capacity to use that full focus, he wasn't a big fan on using it on things that had so much on the line. He'd rather just have Kravitz here, no strings attached, no memory loss.

Taako felt bigger feelings wash just under the surface of his skin whenever he thought about Kravitz with his memories. He'd been sitting on them for twenty years now, and--look. Taako might have been a flighty bastard, slow to open up, but after twenty fucking years, he was genuinely ready to pour his fucking heart out to Kravitz. Vulnerability train was ready to leave the station, believe it or not, and all Taako really wanted was an extended conversation with his boyfriend to hash out some long-term things.

Except, now, whenever he met Kravitz again, he was reminded that he had to start at square one.

Kravitz was more open than Taako could ever hope to be. But nobody opens their heart out on the first date, barely anyone drops an _I love you_ before three months in, and it's hard to talk about plans for the future when Kravitz couldn't even remember the past.

Taako opened his eyes, realized that he'd slipped himself into meditation. _Fuck!_ Kravitz would be called in soon, he'd worry if Taako didn't slip some kind of letter in there, and he'd worry _more_ if he saw one of the ones Taako already wrote--

The stone Barry gave him flickered on his chest, and then glowed a dull blue.

He looked down, taken out of his panic spiral. He held the stone up, noticed the glowing was localized to the center of the stone. Taako watched the stone pulse out light a couple more times, and then pressed his thumb into the glow.

The stone clicked in his hands, and he heard the sound of rushing wind and the faint call of ravens. Sounded an awful like the Queen's court.

"Taako?" Kravitz' voice came from the stone, a little faint and muffled, but _there._ "Taako? Are you there?"

Taako held the stone in his hand, eyes wide as he watched it dim and blink when Kravitz spoke. "...Kravitz?"

"Thank the goddess that worked," he said, letting out a dreamy sigh. Taako could hear a muffled crackle, the sound of a thumb running over whatever the hell collected the sound of Kravitz' voice. Taako could barely hear what was going on, had to struggle to pick out individual words. "Hi."

"Wait, is, uh--" Taako tapped the stone, brows furrowed. Now he was interested in this little bit of arcane technology. He was _invested,_ now. This was fucking rad. "This some kind of recording? Wait, why do you sound so--uh, are you underwater?"

"It's, uh--the jell-o hands, I--oh, _fuck,_ let me just--" Taako heard the sound of a rock skittering on solid ground, and then Kravitz' voice came out clearer. "No, I can hear you." Kravitz chuckled, soft and fond. "It's more like a phone. Your plane had those, right?"

"Uh, yeah, we did, _this--"_   Taako held the stone in the air, realized Kravitz couldn't see him, and held it up to his mouth again. "I mean, this is a fucking rock, so."

"Mm." Taako could hear the smile in Kravitz' words, the gentle tone of voice he only used when he was alone with Taako. "But it's a rock I can speak to you through. I think that makes it a hell of a lot more valuable."

"I mean--I _guess,_ I--" Taako muttered a few elvish curses under his breath and ran a hand through his hair. "Fuck--" The weight of the whole situation finally cracked down on him and he slumped onto the bed, giddy and grinning into the stone. "Hi." _God,_ that sounded stupid. It sounded so stupid that Taako smashed his face into his pillow, resigning himself to the fact that Kravitz may break up with him for how clingy that sounded.

"Hey," Kravitz said, again, just--so warm and nice. Not annoyed at all.

Taako tore his head out of the pillow and spoke into the stone again. He needed his voice to come out clear, even if he could barely string two words together at the moment. "It's--nice to hear you." _Fuck,_ could he cool it for a _second?_

Kravitz stalled for a moment, voice coming out worried. "You sound--embarrassed, would you rather--another letter, or--"

"Don't you _fucking dare_ hang up on me." Taako loosened his grip on the stone once he noticed how white his knuckles turned. He forced himself to take a deep breath. "I just, uh, wasn't expecting it, Barry-- _for some reason,_ didn't tell me what the fuck this stone did."

"You're cute when you're flustered," he said, teasing.

"Don't get used to it." Taako couldn't help but grin from it anyway, even through Kravitz' teases. If Kravitz were in front of him, he'd kiss the cockiness out of his voice, but enjoyed it like this. From a distance. "This is--shit, I--honestly, babe, I sort of. Blanked out on a letter this year. Not that I, uh, didn't want to, it's just that, Lup died and Barry's been on my ass all year--"

"It's alright, love, you did...seem kind of off this time. Are you alright?" Kravitz asked, and, _fuck,_ he really went for the kill there. Like, fine, it was nice that Kravitz cared about him, and didn't fall for Taako's bullshit, but could he have given Taako _a little bit_ of warning first? "You don't normally look that uncomfortable during a first date."

"I, uh--" Taako drew a hand across his face, not sure if he had the energy to be truthful and honest about all this. "I mean. I guess. It's just--kind of. It's nothing."

All of the mirth sank out of Kravitz' voice, replaced by something more stern and fearful. "Taako, if I'm doing something wrong, I'd like to know what it is."

"It's not you," he said, and felt the honesty about to spill out from his chest. Something about Kravitz made that bubble up in him, and, _wow, unfair,_ but maybe that was a good thing in this specific instance. He only had ten minutes to get this out, they couldn't dance around this like Lup and Barry could. "Well. Not technically? It's--this--whole fucking situation, I guess."

"I can only imagine how difficult it is on your end." Kravitz stayed silent on the other end, and even though he didn't say anything, Taako knew he was beating himself up over all this. "Did--is this too much? Do you think we should--"

"I'm not leaving you. I couldn't even if I tried." Taako pressed his chin into his pillow. Kravitz did seem terrified, and Taako _did_ care about his feelings (shocker), so he felt like he needed to offer some kind of comfort. "You know, it's not your fault."

"I--know it isn't. I just want to know if you're okay with...all this."

"I'd like to stay with you, if that's your fucking question."

"Okay. Okay, good, we've got that squared away." Kravitz tapped his finger on something, but because he was made of jell-o, it sounded like a bad jizz-y, jell-o-y sound effect. "Would it help if you started telling me about past versions of myself?"

"Wouldn't that freak you out?"

"It would, and I couldn't really guarantee that I'd stay after that..." Kravitz' voice grew more frustrated by the minute. "I wish I knew how to fix this."

"I mean, probably the only--the only way we can is to get rid of the Hunger, I guess," Taako said, resigned, "but who knows when that'll be?"

"I don't know if you can ever get rid of it." Kravitz took in a few breaths, scared. "I saw it--when it started consuming, it--it just took everything in its path."

"You were there when it formed?"

"There was a motivational speaker on my home planet that got very popular," Kravitz said. His voice was distant, not in volume, but emotionally. "After a while, he did a lot less motivating and a lot more...well. You know."

"Eating planets?" Taako asked, holding back a laugh.

"Eating planets. Convincing people that everything around them was meaningless." Kravitz didn't take to that joke as well as Taako could have hoped. If anything, it drew him further into despair. "I went to one of his shows, once."

"Yeah? How was it?"

"I--" Kravitz stopped. He lowered his voice, ashamed. "I bought into his ideology a bit. The whole, 'existence is pain so let's not try anymore' sort of thing. The, um, dissatisfaction with, everything."

"Oh." Taako could hardly imagine a Kravitz like that. He knew Kravitz as an insufferable sap, a reckless gambler, a good friend, a chaotic hunter, a loyal emissary. Filled with so much love for what he did, with or without Taako. Passionate in all things. How could Kravitz be like the man Merle spoke about after parley?

"I got thrown out of the plane before it could consume me all the way." Kravitz shook his head (Taako only knew this because he could hear his jell-o dreads squishing against each other). "I'm not sure why I was the one that got spared."

"I'm glad you were."

"Yeah." Kravitz stayed silent for a good time after that. The clock ran down on the amount of time they had, but Taako couldn't bear to make him elaborate. This would be so much easier if he had time to comfort him, if he had time to ask more questions and gently bring him out of his own spiraling thoughts. After what felt like too long, Kravitz eventually asked, "do you want a break?"

Taako blinked. "From what?"

"From us." Kravitz sounded less sad about that admission than he probably should have. Just said it as fact, resigned to the situation. "Since--I mean. It looks like it's getting to you."

"I--" Taako really thought about it. Sure, it'd make things easier. That was a given. But, (and this was an admission Taako didn't know he was capable of being this honest about) Taako knew himself to be a naturally lonely person. Lup was gone for ten months and he moped around with Barry. His worst year was when he was completely isolated from any other people. He didn't know if he could drop Kravitz, even if it was only for a few years. "I don't know. I still want to talk to you like--like this."

"Okay." Kravitz took in a deep breath, although it sounded more like someone sucking in a jell-o shot. "You can still talk to me like this at the end of every year, but you know you're not obligated to date me if it's getting too difficult."

"I mean, I--I _want_ to." _Fuck,_ where were his words? Why couldn't he just say what he wanted to?

"Yeah."

"It's just--" Taako gripped the stone, imagined what he'd say if Kravitz was right in front of him. He probably looked so worried. No, Taako couldn't just break up with him. "Kind of. Tiring. To do the same thing over and over again."

Kravitz snorted, voice laced with sarcasm. "I can only imagine."

"See? That--that's. That's what I like. You're so goddamn polite when I first meet you, it's--frustrating. That I don't get that cute little snide part of you." Taako felt his face heat up just from that simple admission, felt his chest flutter just from hearing Kravitz' soft laugh from the other end. "I love that about you."

"Taako, I wouldn't hold it against you even a little bit if you needed to separate yourself from me for a few years." Kravitz spoke too calm, resigned to the situation. "Or, even until the Hunger is gone."

"I don't know how long that'll be," he said, voice getting just a tad too soft for his own good. "I don't want to wait that long."

"It's your decision. No matter what, I'll--be here at the end of every year." Kravitz shuffled (although, it sounded more like squished) his feet, and quietly added, "I'd like to hear your voice, at least, if that's okay."

"Yeah, uh. Can do. I like-- _this._ This is good. Like, a whole lot better than the letters." Taako turned the stone in his hands a few times, calming down after that whole emotional roller coaster.  "Again, it'd be better if I could, y'know, kiss you goodbye like a good boyfriend should, but, uh--"

"It's a little hard to manage that over the stone, yes." Kravitz' voice betrayed how hard he smiled, all his words bubbling and pitched high. "The rock I got is pretty jagged, you might hurt yourself trying to make out with it."

"That'd be a bad mouthfeel, yeah." Taako leaned forward and made an obnoxious kissing sound next to the stone to prove his point. Kravitz laughed, so he counted that as a win. "Also it'd probably be weird kissing jell-o you."

"Maybe it was for the best that you walked out on that one." Instead of another sound from his boyfriend, Taako heard an otherworldly _blip,_ and then a tear. Kravitz sighed. "The portal's here. I should put the stone back into the box."

"I miss you," Taako said, the words falling out automatically.

"I miss you, too," Kravitz said, words so comforting they wrapped around Taako like a blanket. But. A really cold and clammy blanket. Also the blanket would be made of jell-o. "But more importantly, I love you. I'd like to focus on that."

"C'yeah, you sap." Taako let his face fall into his pillow again. Nobody could see him, he could be as insufferably sappy as he wanted without caring about image. "Love you too."

"I'll talk to you next year?"

"If you don't lock me up."

"I'll try not to." On the other end of the stone, Taako could hear metal snaps opening and the creak of old joints. "We'll figure this out, Taako."

"Yeah."

"I love you," was the last thing Taako heard before the stone dulled in his hands.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hehehhhihiuhuhueheuehiheueh..................HEUEHEUEHHEUUUEHHEHH
> 
> next time is the judge's world. so................... >:3c


	15. Cycle 65

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Taako gets Kravitz sent home off of work for emotional distress, and the rest of the crew trash Kravitz' apartment.

The five of them woke up on an onyx tiled floor.

They perished from the instant petrification. No Lucretia. So at least one of them stayed alive, although it was hard to tell _where_ she could be. Immediately, Lup had her arms around Taako, and seconds later she found Barry and brought him in. Taako didn't even pretend to be annoyed, needed the contact as much as Lup did. Once he calmed down, he kept a hold of Lup and Barry and lifted his head to look around.

Merle and Davenport stood right next to them. They all died at the same time, were all judged at the same time. Below them was the onyx floor, speckled with a few inconsistencies. With a couple taps of the foot, Taako noticed it was actually linoleum printed to _look_ like onyx. When he looked up, he saw dingy fluorescent lights and drab neutral-painted walls. A large tinted window was carved into the back wall, showing...something past it. It was hard to tell from farther away. There was a small waiting room and rows of chairs off to the side. Some of the souls sitting down had tickets in hand. To the left of the wall was another wall, with a long counter running parallel to it. Looked like a bank, or a ticket booth, or...

"Fuck, it's a DMV," Lup said under her breath.

Magnus called out and waved, sitting in one of the waiting room seats. Right. He died before any of the rest of them.

Lup leapt over to hug him, their souls flickering as their forms came together. These forms were more solid than some other ones, but still stuttered out during rough contact. Taako and the rest of the crew weren't too far behind, everyone hugging. Needed a reminder that they were all there.

Well. All except for Lucretia. But if she were there, they'd have bigger problems.

"What's going on here, Magnus?" Barry asked, adjusting his glasses as he surveyed the scene.

_"Ticket number four-hundred-fifteen,"_ said a shrill voice from the counter. Magnus slouched over.

"Check your pockets, there's tickets in there." 

Barry did a quick head count. "If they're on four-fifteen, then _one of us_ has to have four-twenty."

The remaining crew members stared at Barry for a few seconds, and then shoved their hands into their pockets with an insistent, feral hunger. As if the first person who looked at their number would be the lucky recipient of the four-twenty ticket.

"Four-sixteen," said Merle, a little too proud of himself, for some reason?

Davenport held up his ticket. "Four-eighteen."

"Four-nineteen--" Lup's eyes lit up as she watched Barry and Taako.

"Four-seventeen." Barry looked up from his ticket and all eyes went to Taako. "Taako?"

_"Four-twenty-one."_ Taako lifted his ticket unceremoniously in the air, hand over his eyes. "We got robbed, guys."

The whole crew groaned. There went the only thing they could look forward to.

"So, wait, what's going on?" Davenport watched a soul walk up to the counter and saw a shard of something taken out of their chest. He laid a hand on his sternum. "Are we dying again?"

"No, whatever that is, it doesn't hurt." Magnus pulled down his shirt. One tiny sliver of his soul was gone, and they could see right through his chest. "But they're using them for, uh, they said--judging?"

Merle crossed his arms. _"They're_   judging us, too?"

"Our memories, I think." Magnus pointed to the tinted window. "I've seen little flashes of me and Fisher on that guy's screen."

Barry walked up to the glass and pressed his nose up against it. Inspected the inside. Taako didn't give much of a shit, was more worried that they were _taking_ shards out of souls. What if he couldn't get them back? Would he start forgetting shit once they took the shard away? Would he forget Lup again, even if she was right here? Who gave them the right to--

Lup held his hand and squeezed it. Took him out of his spiraling thoughts.

_"Ticket number four-hundred-sixteen,"_ the voice said. Merle shrugged and walked to the counter, immediately flirted with the attendant. She marked his file with a big red X. Davenport hid his face in his hands.

"We're doomed," he said. "If they're looking at Merle's memories--"

Magnus let out a hollow chuckle. "Either that, or Merle's going in the Stockade alone."

Davenport glared at Magnus. He coughed, and shrugged. "They're still looking at mine, it seems like it takes a while."

Merle walked back to the group, muttered something unintelligible under his breath. "They took out a piece of my damn chest!"

"Mine too," Magnus said, and showed off his chest again (the dude did this on every occasion, even when it was unnecessary).

_"Ticket number three-hundred-seventy, your results are in,"_ a different announcer voice said. An impatient looking human got up and went to the opposite side of the room, past the waiting area. The attendant at the counter gave them a piece of paper, their face fell, and they walked off to a door on the left. It was marked with a blackened symbol. The door to the right was marked with white.

Great.

_"Ticket number four-hundred-seventeen,"_ the shrill ticket teller called out. Barry, hand still on the glass, jumped out of his skin for a moment. He looked back towards Lup, afraid, and she offered him a warm smile as encouragement. He looked at Taako for more support. Taako made a very bad, rude, and gross gesture with his hands. Barry laughed, and made his way to the counter. Almost immediately after, the teller called out, _"Ticket number four-hundred-eighteen,"_ and Davenport followed in Barry's path.

Lup's attention turned to the big window. "Wonder if we get to plead our case."

"Doesn't seem like it." Taako pulled on Lup's arm, and they both walked to the window together. They had to squint to see past the tint. Behind the window was a room about the size of a massive university lecture hall. About a hundred people sat at tiered rows of desks, taking shards of souls and expanding them to the size of a screen. Little scenes danced on the expanded soul shard in front of their eyes, playing in monotones, like a washed out video. The people wrote as they scrolled through the screen with their fingers, settling on different scenes. Some wrote more notes than others, some expelled their shards faster than others.

"Taako, up there." Lup pressed her finger near the top of the window. Right under her finger was a familiar face.

Hard to believe somebody could look _radiant_ at a mundane desk job, but Kravitz managed to pull it off. A half-orc this year (nice boyfriend-hugging arms and _nice teeth)_   with thick rimmed glasses and hair in locs and piled in a tie on top of his head. He sifted through some rando's memories, meticulous as he scrubbed through a stranger's life. Lup saw Taako stare and checked him with her hip.

"Hey, you think if he sees our memories, he'll let us go?"

"Huh?" Taako swiveled his head back to Lup, half dazed. "Uh. Dunno."

"God, you have it so bad." Lup rolled her eyes.

_"Ticket number four-hundred-nineteen,"_   said the announcer, and Lup gave Taako one quick hug before she ran off to the counter. Barry and Davenport passed by him to the waiting room, knowing that he needed space. Which--he didn't, really. All he did was watch Kravitz. He wasn't even doing anything interesting, just looked over some other person's life. But. Taako hadn't been with him in a long time. He could stare, right?

Just as Kravitz handed off the soul shard he had been working on, the announcer called for ticket number four-twenty.

_Shit._

He looked down at his ticket, cursing himself for not getting four-twenty. This time, for more serious reasons. Taako _needed_ Kravitz to be the one to read his shard. That might be their only chance to escape the Stockade for a year. He watched as a half-elf walked over to the counter, and stepped in front of him to block him.

"Hey, uh, question, can we, uh--switch tickets?"

The half-elf squinted at him, suspicious. "You want to switch...tickets?"

"Yeah. C'mon." Taako held out his hand, expectant.

"What number do you have?"

"Four-twenty-one."

"Well, uh, there's not that much difference?" He shoved the ticket in his pocket and made his way towards the counter. "I think I'd rather get this over with."

Taako deflated. _Fuck._ There went their only chance. Except--Lup walked towards him. Her shard was already out. She was just about to pass by the half-elf, when--

"Lup!" Taako shouted, pointed at the half-elf. "Grab 'em!"

Without even a thought, Lup clotheslined ticket holder number four-twenty and launched him onto the floor. Taako knew she couldn't keep the dude pinned for very long (neither of the twins were _buff,_ even if Lup was slightly more prone to tackle fools), and ran over to grab his ticket. The half-elf (who was a lot stronger looking than Taako or Lup combined) tackled Taako to the ground, his foot hitting him square in the chest. One of the ticket attendants stood from their spot and yelled in their direction.

"Hey!" Their hands slammed on the counter, impatient. "Processor needs _one_ of your souls, just--settle whatever the fuck you're doing and get over here!"

What, they didn't care that two dudes on trial were getting into a literal fight right in front of them? Taako took the opportunity to swipe the ticket out of the half-elf's grasp, let Lup throw him off balance, and made a break for the counter. He slammed the ticket down on the counter. The attendant didn't look impressed with him, didn't say a word. They just took a portion of his soul out of his chest and sent him on his way.

He saw Kravitz through the window pick up his shard, though, so he counted that as a win.

Taako kept his face next to the window, watched Kravitz take his soul back up to his desk. Lup joined him after throwing a few harsh words at the half-elf asshole. Taako couldn't see much of the screen Kravitz popped up from so far away, but he could see Kravitz' face faintly through the light. He started out watching the screen neutrally, wrote down notes and scrolled through the memories with a professional air.

And then, Kravitz dropped his pen.

He leaned into the screen, confused. He scrolled his fingers along it, face inching closer as the moments passed. His scrolling became more frantic, his eyes wide, baffled. As he watched, Kravitz looked less confused and more interested. If he were a cartoon character, his eyes would have been hearts. Absolutely enthralled by what he saw on the screen. He looked around, afraid someone would catch him, and then sank his cheek into the palm of his hand, covered his mouth. Kept his eyes wide. It was difficult to tell through the through the tinted window, but Taako _swore_ he saw his cheeks darken.

After ten minutes of scrolling, Kravitz hurriedly shut off the screen and ran up the stairs to the exit. Left his whole work station in a mess, didn't even pick up.

"Well," Lup said as she pushed her hands off the glass, "that could have gone better."

"He _definitely_ saw himself, there." Taako grinned to himself, stepped away from the window. "Seemed like he liked it, though, right?"

"You'd know better than I would." Lup, too bored to stay at the window, went back to the waiting area with the rest of the crew. Taako followed her. He assumed there would be consequences to emotionally distressing one of their workers, but maybe nobody knew what he did yet. He sat with the crew, told them about Kravitz' reaction to his memories. Had a good laugh over the whole thing.

But that reprieve didn't last very long.

A very small gnome woman opened a door in the back and spoke through it, voice a little meek. "Could we speak to ticket holder four-hundred-twenty?"

The crew looked at Taako. _Fuck._ Magnus stepped forward, shielding Taako from this tiny gnome woman. "Can you speak to all of us?"

"Just four-hundred-twenty, please." She held the door close, blocked the opening with her body, as if she were afraid the whole rest of the crew would barge in. "The rest of you will be dealt with later."

Taako shrugged and followed the gnome. She led him down a hallway, and another hallway, and about twelve more. Fuck, where were they going? Hopefully not the Stockade. Eventually, she stopped at a set of double doors that were twice Taako's height and decorated ornately. Without any words, she left him in front of the door and scurried off. Both doors opened automatically, and that was as much of an invitation as any, wasn't it?

He walked through and stepped onto plush violet carpet. He was inside one of those fancy offices where the CEO has too much money and not enough taste. Except, the person who owned this office was goth as _fuck._ Skulls, bones, candelabras, pits of magical fire, floor-to-ceiling curtains, hundreds of ravens in every nook and cranny. It was kind of obvious who owned this office, not a big mystery there. Taako looked around, didn't see Kravitz. He stayed at the door to the office, ready to bolt at any time.

"So, you're the one that distressed one of my processors?" Like a fucking movie villain, the Raven Queen swiveled her office chair around to face Taako, calm smile on her face and all. Some semi-human looking being, although it was unclear if she just appeared like that to have mercy on Taako's mind (looking at goddesses was difficult on the soul and eyes sometimes) or if that was her true form in this plane. She held Taako's memory shard in her hand, threw it up in the air a few times. "I had to send him home on personal leave. Whatever is in this shard really did a number on him."

"Not my problem, I don't think," Taako said, stepping more properly into her office.

"Well, I _do_ think." She set the shard on her desk and frowned. "That it is your problem, I mean. You must be into some real fucked-up shit to scare an employee off the lot."

"Kind of a long story, uh, I think it only scared him 'cause he--" Taako wondered how much he should tell her. And then he realized it would be stupid and reckless to keep secrets from _a goddess._ "I mean, he's in a bunch'a those memories."

"You've met him before," she said, so calm that it could send Taako into a panic attack.

"Yeah, uh, he's new? Right?" Taako crossed his arms, tried not to be visibly nervous. "You sent Kravitz home?"

"That--is his name, yes." The Raven Queen held out her hand and one of the chairs in front of her desk turned around, an invitation for Taako to sit. She placed the memory shard on the edge of her desk. "Why don't you tell me what's going on?"

And he did. Left out some of the horrible necromancy shit Barry did to Kravitz during his experiments, but mostly told the truth. She stayed eerily calm through the whole thing, like she expected some of it. Didn't ask questions and dutifully waited for Taako to finish his explanation. Except, she did look bored through the whole thing. Had her hand flipping through a calendar as he spoke. Didn't give her full attention.

"That certainly explains a lot," she said, cut off Taako before he could get into the explanation that Kravitz was his boyfriend. "I acquired Kravitz out of thin air one day, had to re-arrange my whole afternoon to figure _that_ little pickle out."

"Yeah, uh, it's not a great situation." He was a bit pissed about how blasé she acted over this huge revelation, but hopefully that was an intimidation tactic.

"I'm going to have to re-arrange _this_ afternoon to figure you and your crew out, as well." She rested her chin on her hand, spoke to the air. Like he wasn't even in the room. "I'll have to work through lunch."

"Uh--"

"I'll make you a deal." Finally, the Raven Queen looked at him, boredom tinting her gaze. "The six of you will go into a holding room, and I'll have Kravitz look over all your files again. He can determine what to do with you, since he has met you before."

Taako frowned. "He, uh, doesn't remember--"

"That settles it." She dusted off her hands, proud of how she dealt with this little problem. She reached for a pen and started to sign a stack of papers. "I'll send for a bailiff to show you the way. Just wait out in the hall."

She shooed him out without any fanfare. Within seconds, a bailiff came by to cart him away into a holding room. They assured Taako that they'd bring the rest of the crew by, and they did--but Taako was still pretty pissed about how this plane ran things.

Bureaucratic assholes.

* * *

The holding room wasn't so bad. It was pretty small, just over a hundred square feet. Like those trendy tiny houses that were on every single home and garden channel. Good news, there wasn't any need for a kitchen, although there was a small single bed off in the corner just to have something to lay on. A little table and chair, too. A few anti-necromancy pamphlets littered around, in a variety of different languages. Some goth artwork. It was still technically a cell, but a lot more humane than the one on cycle twenty-nine. There was a little window latch on the walls either side of the door, which Taako could slide open to see the room next to his. Thankfully, they put Lup next to him. Not as thankfully, Merle was on the other end. But Davenport was next to Merle, so he behaved. Mostly. If Taako projected his voice far enough, Barry could hear him through Lup's window. So, sure, this was a tiny little hellhole, but Taako could see a good portion of his crew through the hatches. That was enough to keep him right in his mind.

Taako slammed the hatch to Merle's room shut after hearing one last joke about fucking the warden. Lup had her hatch closed, having a private conversation with Barry. To pass the time, Taako sat down at the table and looked at the different pamplets, cross-referencing the Elvish and Common ones so that he could decode the Dwarven alphabet. Maybe he should learn Dwarvish. He hadn't learned a new language in a couple decades. Could be a fun way to pass time.

After he figured out that Dwarvish didn't have contractions, just long compound words, Taako heard a knock on the door.

He stood up. Lup didn't open her latch, so he assumed she didn't get a knock. Merle still chattered with Davenport on the other end of his latch. Taako stepped forward and turned the knob of the door. Locked. What the fuck was he supposed to do?

"Uh--hey?" he asked, projecting his voice past the door in the hopes that the knocker would hear.

"I--um--" Kravitz' non-accent voice floated through the cracks in the door. "Hello. May I come in?"

"Knock yourself out." Taako stepped away from the door and decided to settle his ass on the bed. If Kravitz wanted to sit, it'd be better to get him in the chair. Less awkward. Kravitz opened the door carefully, stepped through, and closed it without making a noise. He adjusted his glasses, unsure of what to do now that he was actually in Taako's space.

"Hey." Taako watched Kravitz carefully. Yes, he was cute, and yes, he saw Taako's memories before and knew what was up, but he was still prepared for tricks. "Do you need me to sign any paperwork?"

"No, I'm not--I'm not here for business." He held his hands out, showing the lack of materials he brought. Kravitz didn't move any farther in the room, too nervous to leave his spot. "I wanted to ask you a few questions about what I saw in your memories."

Taako's shoulders slumped over. "Look, I'm not about to do some kinda therapy corner for the bullshit that happened when I was a kid. I really don't care."

"That's not what I wanted to ask about, I--" Kravitz shuffled his feet, hands clasped and tightening around each other. "I was in a lot of them."

"Oh, uh. Right." Fuck, now Kravitz was going to be _weird_ about all this. Great. Dying and getting locked up in this nicer cell was bad enough, but now he had to deal with this? But if Kravitz saw himself in Taako's memories, why would he vouch for the crew and save them from the Stockade? Wouldn't he be freaked out by this new revelation? "You probably saw a lot of yourself in there."

"I...did. It was a little disorienting to see myself from your perspective." Whatever disorientation Kravitz spoke about was long gone, though, and all that was there was curiosity. "You've met me before?"

"Yeah." Taako shrugged. Kept as calm and casual as he could. "Buncha times."

"And we were more than friends," Kravitz said, not a question, but a statement.

"What gave that away?" Taako rolled his eyes, thoroughly unimpressed with this whole situation. He didn't have the time or the patience to explain to Kravitz about their previous relationships. It was why he hadn't _been_ with Kravitz since the conservatory, only spoke to him through the stone. "Listen, if you're just here to complain that you had to watch memories of you getting fucked, or some other thing about how unprofessional this all is, then I'm really not here for that."

Kravitz snapped just a bit, annoyed. "Taako, I'm only trying to build your case." 

"Just saying, if you can read my memory, why do you need to talk to me?" Taako grit his teeth. What was up with this guy? Pretending like he _knew_ Taako. Obviously didn't know how this whole thing worked. He had to wait until the end of the year like the rest of the Kravitzes. Had no right to stand there and pretend like he and Taako were best buds. "You could do this remotely."

"I don't want to be invasive, I want to have a conversation." Kravitz, frustrated, kicked at the ground at his feet. Huffed a few times. Neither of them were huge fans of this conversation. "From what I've gleaned of--of you, from the memories I saw, I don't assume you would enjoy a deeper memory probe. I'm just giving you the option to skip that."

Taako just wanted to throw him out, but his curiosity got the better of him. "Why's that?"

"I--" Suddenly, Kravitz' whole mood changed. He refused to look within a two foot radius of Taako, and coughed to hide how much his voice cracked. "You. Um. _Fuck."_

That just pissed Taako off more. _"What?"_

"This was a bad idea, I should just--" Kravitz fumbled backwards, hand on the doorknob. "I'll keep trying to get you out of this stuffy room, but, I, um--I'll talk to the rest of your crew. Your captain? That would. Be the most logical place to start."

"Hold up, what the fuck just happened?" Taako frowned, feeling less pissed off and more concerned. Not concerned enough to make this any easier on Kravitz, though. "You come at my door on some kind of mission, then I ask you two questions and you're leaving?"

"It's--nothing, really, I can tell I'm making you uncomfortable." Kravitz twisted the knob, and then stopped. He twisted it again. And again. It couldn't make a full turn, was just stuck moving a couple centimeters before jerking Kravitz' hand across the knob. _"Shit,"_ he said, eyes wide.

"What?" Taako jumped off the bed to inspect the door.

"I've locked myself in here." He buried his face in his hands, glasses pushed up to his forehead, face twisted up in something like regret.

Taako had to hold back a laugh. "You're kidding." He watched Kravitz sulk and kick at the door, mumbling to himself about the "huge boner" (did people still call mistakes boners?) he just pulled. It was...kind of cute. Cute enough for Taako's rage to fizzle out, to make him look at the situation fairly. Okay. This wasn't like every other year. This year, Kravitz was partially aware of the years before. Maybe Taako could work with that. After all, Kravitz wouldn't be here if he wasn't vaguely interested in the first place.

"I wish I was." He uncovered his face, and Taako was delighted to see how it darkened. "I'll call someone to let me out. Just, um--pretend I'm not here."

"Wait a minute." Taako took a moment to collect himself, approaching Kravitz as neutral as he could. If he could do this right, this year might not be so bad. "Look, just--what the hell's going on?"

"I could ask you the same thing." Now it was Kravitz' turn to look frustrated. "Are we involved or not?"

"Haven't been in a while. Kind of hard to when you don't know what the fuck's going on." Taako gave a stiff frown. "Kind of freaks you out to have that whole, _the world is ending in a year and also all your memories are fake bullshit_ revelation."

"It was a bit of a surprise." Kravitz laughed once, eyes centered on a point on the wall behind Taako's head. Eyes distant. "But nothing has ever really made sense for me. I have memories working at the memory judging office for centuries, but I had to go through training last week. Honestly, hearing that my whole life was a lie was a relief."

Somehow, hearing that made Taako relax a few degrees. "Is that so?"

"Things finally _made sense_ after that," he said, some of his nerves disappearing as well. "And--stop me if this is too, um, weird, but. You. It was, uh. Nice to...um. Know that you, uh, _exist."_

"That I _exist?"_

Kravitz' cheeks turned darker and he looked away. "You're going to think this is weird."

"Can't make that decision if you don't tell me what you mean."

"I guess not." He forced himself to look Taako in the eye. "I just don't want to say something that'll...uh. Scare you off."

"Hey, I, uh." Taako paused. He wasn't great at making people feel better (he didn't care too much about micromanaging other peoples' emotions when he could barely get a grasp of his own), but it always tore him up to see Kravitz upset or worried. He placed a hand on Kravitz' arm, squeezed it lightly. Hoped it would give him some comfort. "You know you won't, right? I knew this was weird when I started dating you, uh, I signed up for this."

"Thank you." Kravitz smiled brightly, laid his hand on top of the one Taako placed on his arm. "It's just--I've always felt like there was something. Missing. Or--not even _missing,_ but I just felt like. There was someone I needed to find." He laced his fingers in between Taako's. Felt like he did it on instinct, not even noticing it. "But that got frustrating after I couldn't get a grip on who I was looking for, or what they meant. No specifics at all." Kravitz finally noticed his hand on Taako's, but didn't do anything to move it. "I don't think being lonely all the time is normal."

"Normal for me," Taako said, mentally cursing himself for sounding so fucking pathetic there. What was it about Kravitz that forced honesty out of him like a vacuum sucking up pennies?

Kravitz turned his head to the side. "You have a twin sister and five other people who love you unconditionally."

"That's the _thing."_ Taako let out a huff, bracing himself for...all this that was about to happen. "I have the--crew. God, that sounds awful. Don't tell them I said that." Kravitz laughed, and Taako cracked a small smile. Huh. Not too bad so far. "And, that's great, right? I can talk to them about. Most things. I can talk to Lup about anything. I've never, uh, felt this stable with, like, _friends._ In my life." He could feel his ears flicking downwards, tried to will them into a more neutral position. Couldn't do it. "But that sucks because it just opens me up to have a fuckin'--healthy romantic life. Like, I'm _ready_ for that shit. Long term. But I can't, 'cause you're always--you don't know who I am, but I'm still always thinking about you, and, that's, uh." Taako felt his face heat up. _Fuck._ Way to lay it on thick in front of this Kravitz. He probably fucked this all up--a shame, because this Kravitz seemed _cool._   "That's probably, uh, not what you were talking about."

"It's sort of what I was talking about." Kravitz pulled on Taako's hand, which was somehow still connected with Kravitz', even after that embarrassing admission. "I've always felt like there's someone out there that I love very much, but I just. Don't know them. But I still miss them." He let his and Taako's hands fall in between the two, beaming at Taako. "After seeing your memories, I think I know why I feel like that."

Yep, _yep,_ there was no way Taako was going to pass this Kravitz up. He was too charming for him to let this go. And, hey, maybe it wouldn't be so bad now that Kravitz knew the basics of the situation. Fuck it, Taako was in.

"So?" Taako stepped backwards as far as his and Kravitz' arms would allow (like hell was he going to let go of his hand voluntarily) and posed. "Am I anything like what you were thinking of? For your missing person?"

"You're nothing that I could have imagined." Kravitz brought Taako's hand up to his mouth and kissed the knuckle, rubbed his thumb over the ridge his lips passed over. "But, somehow, there's not a single part of you that I'd even dream of changing."

All of Taako's higher brain functions went offline for a moment or two. It was relatively calm of a flirt, kind of old fashioned, but. It was Kravitz. So it automatically did something for Taako. Wow, it _had_ been a long time for him. Fuck, was he always this desperate? "You've, uh, never hit on me like that on day one," he managed to get out, dazed.

Kravitz' whole smooth act dropped in a second, apologies tumbling out of his mouth. "Sorry, I--don't know what I'm supposed to do, is there some kind of protocol we've set up? Am I supposed to come talk to you?" He frowned and let go of Taako's hand, gave him an escape route. "That's--I mean. If you even wanted something like--this."

"I mean." Taako not-so-subtly reached over to hold Kravitz' hand again. Really didn't want to let go. "Usually you don't have access to a fuckin' memory reading machine."

"Oh." Kravitz could only stare at their joined hands. Now it was his turn for his brain to go offline. "So this doesn't normally happen."

"Not even a little bit, you told me to keep information from you."

"Would it be okay if I overrode that request this year?" Kravitz looked over the rim of his glasses, eyes finally focused on Taako. Wow. _Wow._ Okay, Taako made a mental pact to never tease Lup for how nerdy her boyfriend was, because, _fuck,_ the glasses were _A Thing._ "I mean--if you would rather I stay away from you, let you have a break, that's more than alright. I just. Um." His face turned darker again, nervous. "I think it would be more fair to you to give you the decision this year. Since the cat's out of the bag."

Taako managed to string enough words together to form an actual, real-life sentence. "Are you asking me out?"

"Once I can get you and your crew's issues settled, yes." He smiled, and then it fell away to pure fear. "Only if you want to, I just--um--you're--I do think you're--it feels like there's, um. _Fuck."_

"Dude, if it's this hard for you to talk to me, maybe you can't handle all this," Taako said, grinning. Made him feel better to see Kravitz trip over himself because of him.

"I'm! Fine!" Kravitz let go of Taako's hand to readjust his suit and hair and glasses, and _aww, he had it so bad._   That was cute. "Just nervous, is all."

"Nobody said you had to come talk to me." It was a tease, but Kravitz seemed to take the statement seriously.

"But I wanted to." Kravitz collected himself, took a deep breath even though he didn't need it. "Listen, I've...I've seen your memories, and. I can't promise I'll understand everything that's going on, but I would like to. Uh. Leave that up to you. Since you're the one that never really gets to choose."

"We haven't dated in a while." He shrugged. "Kind of--kind of hard to when you don't. Know me."

"That's what I'm saying, Taako, it--it seems like, a lot of what we're doing is dictated by _my_ restrictions, and." Kravitz looked far too guilty for a man that was trying to ask him out. "Whatever you want, Taako, I'm--if you want a break, that's fine. If you'd like me to stay close, I can do that. I just think it's time you get a say in what's going on." He smiled at Taako, a little forced, too nervous to be natural. "What do you want this year?"

Taako stopped. Watched Kravitz with wide eyes, unbelieving. "Wait. Like. Anything?"

"Most things, I can't break you out of here or, uh, anything too radical." Kravitz let out a tense laugh. "Just--what do you want out of me, specifically?"

"Um." Taako thought about it. Taako _really_ thought about it. He hadn't been with Kravitz-- _really been with him_ in almost twenty years. Not since the conservatory. All he had was stone conversations, letters, one bad jell-o date, and a bunch of years where he almost (or did) die from his own boyfriend's scythe. He wasn't able to connect properly with the friendly Kravitzes anymore. Too far gone with his end of year Kravitz. But. He missed him. Like, really _really_ missed him. He missed going on dates and he frowned at the empty spot on the bed next to him and held the stone close to him for weeks before Kravitz' call, wanting to talk. This Kravitz wasn't his, but he was about as close as Taako could get. At least, for now. He'd be foolish to pass that up, right? It would at least tide him over until they could crack the code on his memory. Until he could have him for real. "I think I want to date you."

"You _think?"_   Kravitz frowned.

"Only if we can--skip the whole. Like, you know how the first three dates with someone is just hella awkward for no reason? And, like, the whole part where you have to--to negotiate when we can make things official and roll out the B word--" Taako's words stopped in his throat and he was suddenly aware of how much that was asking of Kravitz. Fuck. Did that seem too needy? "If that's--uh. Too fast, that's. Fine."

"We can skip that. I--Taako, there's--you have to understand, there's. A pull. So you could ask for most things out of me right now and I'd do it." Kravitz stepped closer to Taako, cautious. "There are definitely some things that would be too far for me right now, but, I think things will come a lot faster than they would if I was just meeting you for the first time."

"Uh, a pull?" Taako stood in his place, let Kravitz come closer. "You sayin' I'm some kind of magnet?"

"I'm _saying_ that if--it's not completely out of the picture for me to--I might not be able to access my memories, but I still _feel something_ for you." He stopped right in front of Taako, a bit more confident since Taako was crystal clear about how much he wanted this. "If I didn't know that I was missing memories, I would assume it was just--that I was just really into you. And I may not remember details, but you still feel very familiar and I just--" Kravitz laid his hand on Taako's arm, careful not to be too forward. "I would be okay. Skipping the first few awkward months of dating to get to the deeper stuff faster. I know the basics, I'd like to date you more seriously."

"Well. Excellent." Taako hesitated, but hooked his arms around Kravitz' neck, pulled him close. "Listen, if you don't have any issues with that, I'm goin' for it."

"I would like that," Kravitz said, and without any sort of warning he leaned down to press his lips against Taako's. Light, simple, sweet. And-- _fuck,_ Taako hadn't had something as simple as _this_ in almost twenty years. Just as nice as he remembered it. All his limbs turned to jelly as he closed his eyes and hung onto Kravitz. Kravitz stalled for a moment, probably feeling some weird soul pull. Once that was over he pulled Taako tighter, even more enthusiastic. He ran his hands along Taako's back, down his sides, before deciding that he wanted to use them to cradle Taako's face. When Kravitz pulled away, he kept Taako's cheeks in his hands, committing every slope and curve of Taako's face to memory.

"You weren't kidding about skipping," Taako said, breathing in once Kravitz gave him some room.

Kravitz took his hands off Taako, but kept them hovered barely a centimeter from Taako's face. "Was I not-- _shit--_ was that bad?"

"Hell no." Taako grinned and pulled Kravitz closer to his level. "I'm, uh, gonna go ahead and--"

Within seconds, the two were at it again. It wasn't exactly how a complete Kravitz would kiss, but it was way closer than most others were. At least he wasn't as frustratingly polite as other Kravitzes were on the first couple go-arounds. Okay. Maybe it wouldn't be so frustrating if Taako had other partners (but _fuck that,_ it was hard enough getting Kravitz in his circle of trust, and he wasn't about to fuck with someone that he'd never see again, and the crew was practically his _family)_. But he hadn't had this in _years,_ sue him for being a little pent up. That frustration must have sat in Kravitz' soul too, unconsciously, because within a few minutes he had Taako up against the wall next to Merle's cell.

Kravitz moved his lips down to trace along Taako's jaw and neck, which caused Taako to yelp out in surprise. His hand flew to his mouth and he looked to his right, saw the hatch to Merle's cell. Fuck. Hopefully he didn't hear that.

"Are you jerkin' it in there?" Merle asked, voice muffled from the closed latch. _Fuck!_

"Please don't be jerkin' it in there," Davenport's voice came as a shout from very far away.

"Who's talking about jerky over there?" Lup asked, and then yelled something incomprehensible away from the direction of Taako's cell. "Barry said that Magnus said that if you have jerky, you legally have to give it to him."

Kravitz moved away from Taako sheepishly, moved back to the center of the cell where (hopefully) nobody would hear him. Taako called out a few answers towards both walls of the cell, denying the amount of jerky and jerking in his cell.

Once things calmed down, Kravitz took out a phone (an actual phone, wow, advanced plane) and spoke quietly. "I should...call. Uh. A coworker. To get--so I can--" He frowned at his phone.  "...get back to work."

"You sure you don't want to stay here--" Taako walked over, hooked an arm around Kravitz', and winked, "--and play hooky?"

"I think we'll have time for that later." No fun. He wasn't even flustered by that. Kravitz let go of Taako, but not before giving him one last quick peck to the cheek. "I should be able to make a good case for you and your crew."

Taako did not whine at the absence of Kravitz' touch, but it was a close call. "Would you have made a shitty case if I didn't want to date you?"

"Absolutely not. I would never--use you like that, Taako, that's. Disgusting." He grimaced. What a gentleman. But then, Kravitz lit back up and stole one more kiss from Taako. "But if you're my boyfriend, it definitely makes the case easier to win."

"How easy?"

"Open and shut."

"Rad." Taako sat back down on his bed, waited for Kravitz to finish his call before peppering his new boyfriend with more kisses and questions. If he was going to have a semi-complete Kravitz this year, he had every intention of taking full advantage of it.

* * *

Taako almost felt bad for Kravitz. 

"Okay, _Merle,_ okay, _okay, okay!"_ Kravitz ran past the door to try and stop Merle from scrounging around in the coat closet, but turned his head when he heard crashing in the kitchen. The rest of the crew trampled past him, spilling into the new space. "Lup, don't-- _Merle, please--_ can all of you do this civilly-- _okay, okay!"_

Almost.

"Alright, hold on, can--you--" Kravitz ran from person to person, afraid of the chaos he unleashed. Taako stayed at the entrance, watched it all unfold. Kravitz chased Magnus out of a room in the back. "Don't go _in there,_ that's-- _MERLE--"_

Merle already had his shirt off. Kravitz dug his palms into his face and whined. Poor guy. Taako had the suspicion that most of the crew was trying to get underneath Kravitz' skin on purpose. He couldn't blame them, Kravitz was hilarious when he was pissed off.

Magnus smiled and tapped Kravitz on the shoulder. "Is there a bathroom?"

"You don't need a bathroom," Kravitz said, already exhausted.

"I _do_ need a bathroom." Magnus crossed his arms and puffed his chest out.

Kravitz blinked a couple times, confused. "For what?"

"For practicing his _cantrips,"_   Lup said, and made a gesture with her fingers that Taako elected to ignore.

"Beating the meat," Taako chimed in from the door, high-fiving himself (nobody else was within melee range).

Merle coughed and projected his voice clearly through the room. "Masturbating."

Immediately, the room erupted in shouts and screams. Magnus had his hands over his ears. Lup ducked her head in the closet door. Taako pulled the brim of his hat over his head. Davenport just shook his head, unimpressed. Barry didn't react much, except for one errant chuckle.

"What, so you two can do it and I can't?" Merle asked, both hands gesturing wildly in the air.

"Yes, _EXACTLY!"_ Taako said, just as Davenport rolled his eyes and said, "no, Merle, we're all aware you're capable of masturbating."

The whole room erupted in shouts and chaos, except for Davenport and Merle, who were both (horrifyingly) proud of themselves.

"This place is small." Barry wrinkled his nose, surveyed the place from a singular point. "Smaller than the ship, even."

Kravitz heaved out a groan, completely done with these assholes. "It's _my_ apartment, thank you, just--"

"Why are we at _your_ place?" Magnus put both hands on his hips and scrunched up his brows.

"Because we don't have accommodations for your situation yet, we're, working on it, just--" Kravitz dragged a hand across his face, speaking over the sound of Merle scooting chairs around (why?) "This should only be for a few weeks, at most--"

"Don't even bother making anything for Taako, we all know he's gonna stay here after we move," Magnus said, the stupidest shit-eating grin on his face.

Kravitz gawked, shrank in on himself. "Only if he wants--"

_"Hell_ yeah!" Taako finally ran into the apartment proper. No use in staying at the edge of the space anymore once he knew this was Kravitz' space. He ran up to Kravitz, had to plant a knee on one of the kitchen barstools to hook an arm over his boyfriend's neck. "Break me off a piece of this batch pad."

"It's not a bachelor pad if you're here, too, you know," Kravitz said, laughing. He moved his arm around Taako's waist, pulled him into a side hug. Taako had to keep himself from melting. Normally Kravitz would be too shy to give out any affection to Taako publicly, at least until a few months in. Skipping the awkward early bits of their relationship was definitely a good idea.

Lup made an overly dramatic noise of disgust. "Ugh, no, are we going to have to listen to the two of you banging?"

_"NO!"_   Taako and Kravitz shouted at the same time, but also clung closer to each other.

Taako pointed directly at Lup. "I lock all my doors and cast silence, that's a hell of a lot better than you do."

"You caught us _once,_ can you get over it?"

"Uh, untrue, I've caught you way more than _once."_ Taako laid his head on Kravitz' shoulder, eyes off to the side as he rambled. "But I just didn't tell you 'cause I didn't want to _interrupt."_

Both Lup and Barry froze, but Lup was the only one who could form words. "You-- _YOU'VE WHAT--"_

"Chill, it's not like I, like, stand and watch--"

"How many times have you caught--"

Taako shrugged. "Dunno, like, nine? Listen, I just quietly close the door and leav--"

_"NINE?"_ Lup dug her fingers into her scalp. Great. Taako broke her brain. Barry wasn't so great either. He scoot away from Lup, not even in the ballpark of touching her, and refused to look anywhere in Taako's direction.

"More or less, it's not like I, uh, keep count, it's enough of a, it's a traumatic experience for your _literal brother--"_

_"I thought you've been locking the door this whole time,"_ Barry said, mortified, head in his hands, finally able to string together a hurried sentence.

"And start casting silence, I share a wall with you fools." Taako grinned as he watched Barry and Lup have a whole other breakdown. Lup seemed to recover from it first, although knowing her, she was just pushing down those anxieties deep so that she could deal with them later. Or not deal with them. He didn't know which one she'd end up with.

Kravitz waited until they were all the way calmed down before dropping another bomb. "Please don't bang in my apartment."

"No promises." Lup winked at Barry, who was still too much in shock and shame from Taako's teasing.

_"PLEASE DON'T BANG IN MY APARTMENT,"_ he said, again, his voice more harried and magically amplified through the space. Taako couldn't help himself from cackling, crying from laughter onto Kravitz' shoulder.

Merle grinned, shot a look around the room. "Does that just extend to those two?"

Taako squinted at Merle, suspicious. "Uh, yeah, they're the only two that're banging, if you're not counting--"

Lup had her face dug in her hands. "Don't say it, Taako--"

"--me and Kravitz," he finished, and Lup groaned in embarrassed protest.

"Untrue," Merle said, _way too proud for anyone to deal with._

The entire room froze. Nobody wanted to be the person to ask Merle what the _fuck_ he meant by that. Eventually, Taako was the one that broke, turning to Magnus in fear. _"Magnus, please tell me you're not banging Merle."_

Magnus shook his head so fast, his head could have fallen off his shoulders. "Gross, hell no! I'm not!"

"He's probably just talking about the plants." Barry looked down at Merle, eyes wide in fear. "I hope."

Lup shook her head after a moment of thought. "Definitely not Lucretia."

Merle put both hands on his hips. "You think I'm not good enough for Lucretia?"

"She's a lesbian, Merle," Lup said, voice as flat as paper.

"Wait--hold on." Magnus sat down, did the math in his head. "You're fucking someone on the ship, but it's not me, or Barry or Lup, or Kravitz or Taako, or Lucretia."

Merle's beard puffed out in pride. "Right."

Davenport coughed, unable to make any eye contact with the rest of the crew.

The whole apartment exploded in shouts.

It took a whole hour for everyone to calm down. Davenport wouldn't speak to anyone, too embarrassed. Merle just kept egging everyone on, which made the whole situation worse. Or, worse for Davenport. But after _that_ little distraction, the crew tried to settle into Kravitz' space. Less rowdy now that they got all that energy out. Kravitz sat with Taako at the edge of the living room, farther away from the rest. Lup fucked around in the kitchen shouting about "ghost food" while Barry watched her fondly. Magnus expressed his desire to eat all of the ghost food. Davenport took a seat at another quiet corner of the room, calmed himself down. Merle walked around, critiquing every piece of decor in Kravitz' home. For most people, this was chaos. For the crew, it was quiet.

"Hey, uh." Taako turned to place a kiss on Kravitz' cheek. "I know they're a lot."

"Are you kidding?" Kravitz laughed, breathless, and pulled Taako closer. "I'm having a lot of fun."

"Really?"

"I like your family." He smiled, thoughts far away as he watched Magnus try to shove a salt shaker down his throat (because he can't die _again_ , right?). "I don't--remember mine."

Taako blinked, and let himself fall more securely into Kravitz' arms. "When you do, you'll have to tell me about 'em."

"When I remember you, you'll have to force me to stop talking," Kravitz said, his smile an unbroken line across his face.

He laughed, pushed Kravitz' face away playfully. "Are you going to be this insufferable when I've got you for longer than ten minutes?"

"If you'll let me." Kravitz smile turned more shy, uncertain.

"I like bein' doted on." Taako gripped Kravitz' chin and planted a kiss right on his lips. "Well, at least if it's you."

Kravitz' smile turned brighter, less worried. "I hope I remember that." He leaned forward and kissed Taako again, though he smiled too hard into it for it to go very far.

Still, Lup saw it and pitched a fit.

_"GROSS!"_  She walked out of the kitchen and pulled on Kravitz' shirt collar, a nasty sneer on her face. "Not in front of the sister."

Taako kicked Lup out of the way, kept himself peeled on Kravitz. "You've done worse with Barry in front of me."

"Those were all accidents," she said, staying strong.

"Because you don't know how to lock a fucking door."

"I'll get off," Kravitz said, making a big show of it. "I don't want to make one of my guests uncomfortable."

Taako whined at the loss of contact, shooting a murderous look towards Lup. "See? You scared him off."

Lup ignored him. "Well, thanks."

"But if the two of you do anything in my apartment--" Kravitz frowned and pointed to Lup, even though the rebellious quirk in his lips betrayed his whole act. "--I _will_   bust a nut."

She looked from his pointed finger to his shuddering face and laughed once. "You're pretty fun when you actually know us, y'know," Lup said, pat him on the back, and walked off.

The room settled into something quiet, even for people as high-energy as the crew. Once their minds were taken off of Merle's sex habits and Lup's shouting, they all sat there. Too quiet. Now that they weren't in those tiny rooms alone, they had the brain space to worry about Lucretia. She hadn't come by, so things would probably be fine. But she was still alone. And that couldn't be good. A few minutes into this drab affair, Merle waddled up to Kravitz and Taako. Shirt still off, just as weird as ever. Kravitz still gave him his full attention, though, even if Taako didn't think the dwarf deserved it.

"Do you wanna play Euchre with us?" he asked, open-mouthed chewing at...something dried.

Kravitz looked down at him, horrified. "What is that in your mouth?"

Merle pointed behind him. "You had a bowl of food out, and I took it."

"I didn't have a bowl of--" Kravitz looked where Merle pointed. Taako shot a look too, held back a laugh. The crystal bowl on the fireplace. Not food. It was filled with-- "That was potpourri, Merle."

"Fancy snacks, I know." Merle shrugged, pointed his thumb behind him. "Euchre?"

"Who else is playing?"

"Just me and Dav."

Kravitz tilted his head to the side. "The one you're having sex with?"

_"Please don't make that the thing I'm known for,"_   Davenport said, still unable to make eye contact with anyone in the room.

"Say no," Taako whispered, a hand on Kravitz' shoulder. "You hate it."

"Yes, of course." Kravitz made a point to ignore Taako, smiling down at Merle and Davenport. "I'm sure I'll love it."

Kravitz hated it.

But, in the end, he wouldn't stop laughing.

* * *

Kravitz' apartment was a lot quieter once the rest of the crew moved to a more permanent location.

Taako stayed with the crew whenever Kravitz was at work. They weren't happy about being dead, but at least they weren't stuck in the Stockade. They had a patch of an island, next to the Sea of Souls, with a small house. Just large enough to hold all of them. They were allowed to walk the length of the island, but couldn't leave. There were houses past the shore, where the rest of the Queen's servants lived. Kravitz' apartment was nestled somewhere in one of the newer blocks. It should have been a relaxing sequel to the beach year, but everyone was on edge. Lucretia was the only one alive, and she was alone. If she showed up in the Astral plane, they were all fucked. They didn't get this far to be struck down by a shitty panel of judges.

Lup worried the most, was the most frustrated that she couldn't do anything. Barry and Taako did their best to keep her head on her shoulders, but she would run out of the house for a few days. Not a word, not even a note. Needed to clear her head. Walked along the whole island. Burned sand into glass in anger. Taako knew she couldn't get into any trouble on the island, the worst had already happened. Still, Barry worried. Wasn't used to Lup's habit of running under pressure. She came back. She always came back. That would never be an issue.

The rest of the crew held up about as well as anyone could hope. Davenport worried about the ship, worried about Lucretia. Magnus kept asking if anyone saw Fisher before they left. Merle acted calm, helped the rest of the crew through their anxieties, but made fewer dick jokes. Nobody wanted to be in a room alone. This worked, since the house was so tiny.

When Kravitz got off work, he would stop by the crew's little holding house. He'd spend a few hours with them, offering company and news from outside. Always gave a status update on Lucretia--he had no idea where she was, but he'd know if she died. And she never did. So, instead of worrying about Lucretia, he'd spend his time with the crew trying to assure them things would be alright. If the judges hadn't found her within a week, there was little chance that they ever would. And that was comforting to hear, even if it sounded like a lie.

But, after Kravitz left the holding house, he'd often take Taako with him (even if the rest of the crew was obnoxious with their wolf whistles and bone jokes). Sometimes he'd show Taako around the island, bring him to his favorite places. More often than not, though, they just went back to the apartment. Kravitz had long work hours that drained him. Emotionally. Physically, he couldn't get tired. It still helped for him to lay on his couch with Taako and watch Fantasy Netflix.

"Kind of funny," Taako said, head on Kravitz' shoulder and eyes turned to the TV, "how all the worlds we go to that have technology have Fantasy Netflix."

Kravitz laughed into the top of Taako's head. "Does it have the same programs every world you visit?"

"Uh, some of 'em? Haven't been able to find Fantasy Queer Eye on it since, uh..." Taako tipped his head back to think while Kravitz searched Fantasy Netflix for the show. "I 'unno, a few decades back."

"Ah, no." Kravitz typed in "Queer Eye" letter by letter in the search bar, and once he got halfway through the word _eye_ suggestions stopped showing. "Not on this one. Sorry, babe."

"'S fine," Taako said, shifting his body to lay flush against Kravitz. He closed his eyes. So many programs on Fantasy Netflix, and he was too fucking bored to sit through any of them. Good thing he had a boyfriend pillow. A boyfriend pillow who was now laughing at him.

"You can't physically be tired," he said, hand running through his hair. Remote tossed to the side. TV forgotten.

"What, is _napping_   a crime punishable by Stockade now?" Taako dug his face into Kravitz' shirt. "Get off my ass."

"I'd rather not. I enjoy your ass." Kravitz smiled, and Taako reached up to flick his fingers against his chin. _"Hey!"_

"That was fucking lame and you should be ashamed of yourself," Taako said, a complete lie. He loved it when Kravitz was a little rowdy. Didn't need to be polite all the time. It meant Kravitz was comfortable with his presence. And. That was the goal, here.

Fuck, this was so much better than dating a complete blank slate.

Even if he didn't know everything, he knew more than the average Kravitz, and he wasn't put off by the insane situation. Maybe Taako could find a way to get other Kravitzes on board like this. Maybe this year would change Kravitz' mind about not giving away any information. Fuck, maybe he could _date_ again, finally. Another part of him knew not to get his hopes up too much. This wasn't the norm. He would just have to deal with not having Kravitz again for a while. This year could tide him over for a bit.

"I refuse to be ashamed for honesty." Kravitz dipped down to kiss Taako. "Especially when it comes to you."

Taako sneered, wrapped his arms around Kravitz' neck. Kissed him again, just because he could. "Pff, how honest can you be?"

"Have I lied to you this year?"

"Would I know if you did?" Taako stuck his tongue out at Kravitz and winked. "For all I know, you could'a--not even seen my memories."

"You saw me through the window," Kravitz said, rolling his eyes.

"Who said I was lookin' at you?" He laughed and blew a big, gross raspberry into Kravitz' neck. Made a very loud fart noise.

"You're not subtle, you know." Kravitz laughed, held Taako close. Wasn't even bothered by the raspberry. No fun. "I don't have to remember you to see how bad you have it for me."

"Don't laugh, it's not like that gives you any sort of _advantage,"_ Taako said, annoyed that he couldn't even fluster Kravitz. "You didn't know my name on our fuckin' _honeymoon,_ so. I think I still win, as far as functional boyfriends go."

"What?" Kravitz watched him, confused. Tried to figure out if Taako was fucking with him or telling the truth. "How the fuck did that happen?"

"Oh, right. You, uh, wouldn't remember that." Taako repositioned himself so that he laid right in Kravitz' lap. "How many of my memories did you see?"

"A few," Kravitz said after a moment of thought. "A fair sample, I'd say."

"Like, a beer flight of memories, or a cheese plate?"

"Cheese plate, I think?" Kravitz decided it would be a good idea to duck his head down and kiss at Taako's neck and jaw. It was either his way of giving Taako a conversational escape hatch, or he just liked doing it that much. Maybe a little of both. "Lots of little snippets."

"Huh." Taako, master of self restraint (no, _Lup,_ that's not a joke) ignored Kravitz' little distraction. Now his brain gears were a'turning, and there was no stopping that once it started up. "D'you think you could see more?"

"I know I could see more." Kravitz spoke seriously, but it didn't sound as such with his lips right on Taako's neck. "I haven't looked. I wouldn't dream of taking a deeper dive without your permission."

"I mean." Taako shrugged and fixed himself closer in Kravitz' grasp. "I don't have time to explain everything that happened in every cycle to you, you could...uh. You know."

Kravitz stopped. "You're going to have to tell me if you want me to look again."

"I, uh, I mean." Taako whined, tried his best to get his point across without having to actually _say_ it. "I like it. When, uh. You know things. Obviously."

"Taako. I need you to be crystal clear about this." Kravitz brought his hand around to tilt Taako's face towards his, so he could get a clear answer. "Do you want me to take a look?"

"Yeah," Taako admitted, no force necessary, "yeah, uh, I do." He knew he must have had the dumbest look on his face, judging from the brief shock Kravitz showed. Or maybe Kravitz didn't want to know more. Fuck. "If that's okay. I mean. I get it if you don't want to know more about m--"

"I always want to know more about you." Kravitz smiled and kissed him once. "I just don't want to make you uncomfortable."

"Kind of impossible with you." Taako laughed, although it wasn't all that funny. "Uh, y'know, barring the years where you kill me."

"I can't imagine that's very pleasant, no." Kravitz reached for the remote and turned off Fantasy Netflix, all his attention on Taako. "Okay, let's...uh, hold on." He nudged Taako off of him and swung both his legs on the couch. Kravitz adjusted himself more comfortably and then opened his arms for Taako.

Taako, of course, took the offer. He slid into Kravitz' arms face first, kissed him quick. "Thought you were just gonna take this into the office."

"I just thought it'd be more pleasant like this." Kravitz gently tapped Taako, encouraging him to turn over. "So we can watch together."

"Yeah, I'm all about that." Taako repositioned himself so that his back was right in Kravitz' chest. He managed to do so without stabbing the poor man with his elbows. Kravitz shifted underneath him so both could watch the screen comfortably. Kravitz reached his hand into Taako's chest, fingers disappearing into the soul. Taako's hand clasped around Kravitz' wrist on instinct, and Kravitz froze in his work. "Whoa, hey hey hey, what's up with the phasing?"

"It won't hurt, I just have to grab your memories. Just like at the beginning of the year, remember?" Still, Kravitz waited until Taako let go before pulling out the shard. "See?"

"Huh." Taako reached forward to touch the shard. Unlike everything else that made up souls, it was warm. Felt familiar. "Hey, question--"

"Yes, all souls have this memory bank." Kravitz let Taako hold the shard when he noticed how interested Taako looked. "Barry asked as soon as he got a moment alone with me."

Taako held his own memories in his hands, his mind off in a distant place. "Do you think we co--"

"It takes a lot of powerful magic to access it," he said, voice sad and far off. "I can only do it with the power granted by my Lady. Although, I believe in Barry."

"Can't do it on yourself, though?"

"I've tried. There's some sort of block there." Kravitz grumbled to himself, more out of frustration than despair. "None of my coworkers can do it, either."

Taako snorted. "Fuckin'--unfair."

"It is." The smile came back in Kravitz' voice, and he took the memory shard from Taako's hands. "But I can still see yours just fine." He held the shard in front of Taako's face. With a flick of his wrist, the shard expanded into a screen. Monotone in color, just shades of an unsaturated purple. The screen showed a very tiny child's room, with two beds. The edges of the screen were warped with water at the edges, and Taako remembered--right. This was one of the first things he could remember from when he and Lup were kids. When Lup got lost for a couple nights. When Taako overheard their parents fighting about them, how much trouble they were. They wouldn't leave that house for years after, but it still wasn't pleasant. Taako watched the screen with tight lips. No siree, this was _not_ a great thing to remember.

Now that Taako was here, he realized just how vulnerable he was in front of Kravitz right now.

...

He thought he'd be more scared of this. There were still nerves there, but Taako had a feeling that if Kravitz remembered _everything,_ those nerves would be a lot less prominent.

"Here." Kravitz laid Taako's hand on top of his, gave him full control of the screen. "I'm only authorized to control all this, so you'll have to move my hand."

"If you just wanted me to hold your hand, you coul--could have said so." Taako moved Kravitz' hand and scrolled past those early years. No thank you, nobody needed to see that. The scrolling was more clumsy with one hand guiding another, but there was something kind of charming about the process. "Want to see anything specific?"

"Hm..." Kravitz laid his chin on Taako's shoulder, their faces side by side as they watched the years go by. "Just show me something interesting. Dealer's choice."

"Wow, how specific." Taako tried to think what he could show Kravitz. Nothing too personal, at least not to start out with. It was a little harder to think of memories on his own with the soul shard out of his chest. They didn't come to him as quickly as they did before. That did scare him a little, but Kravitz' arms held onto him tighter when he tensed up, so. Okay. He could do this. Taako focused on what he could remember. "Oh, we had this one year, hold on, gotta find it..."

He scrolled past his home planet, past the first few years of the mission, to cycle nineteen. That was an interesting planet. He did a lot of stargazing there, so it wasn't difficult to find a good shot of the night sky. The planet had rings and lots of moons, and the atmosphere was so clear, it was like they were right there. The rings could be seen from a lot of places on the planet, but Davenport found the best spots for watching them at night.

"That's beautiful," Kravitz said, in awe and breathless. "How many moons is that?"

"Don't know. Thirty? Forty?" Taako scrolled forward, showing one of Davenport's trips through the rings. "Big planet. Capp'nport flew the ship into all the rings."

"That must have been a trip."

"It was _cold._ Took months to get the space hail off the windshield."

"Forty moons, though?" Kravitz pressed his cheek into Taako's and laughed softly. "I can't imagine how the tides would work, like, with physics."

"If you think that's confusing, you should'a seen--" Taako couldn't remember exactly, which was worrying, but scrolled backwards anyway. He had an instinct where this memory laid in his timeline. "Wait, fuck, I can just show you." Taako scrolled all the way back, towards the beginning again. He couldn't find a good shot of it, and had to scrub through a couple hundred years trying to find one. After enough time, though, he found the double sunset on his aunt's back porch, so many years ago. Right, _right,_ homeworld. Damn this separated memory. "Check it: two suns."

Kravitz let out a little gasp of awe, and then chuckled. "I'm not even going to try and guess how day and night cycles worked there."

Taako shrugged. "You get used to it."

"In a year?"

"This was, uh--" Now that the memory was right in front of him, Taako could remember it crystal clear. Funny how that worked. "Home." Taako scrolled forward just a bit to show Lup standing beside him. "See?"

"Is that Lup?"

"Yeah, this was--" Taako shut his mouth. Sure, he knew that this was when they were thirteen, when their aunt took Lup to a thrift store and bought her first dress. But he couldn't just _say_ that. He didn't know if Lup ever told Kravitz she was trans, and didn't want to be the one to let him in on that. That wasn't his job. "--fuck--I don't know. How old does she look?"

"Ten? Twelve? It's hard to tell with younger elves." Kravitz nuzzled his cheek into Taako's, the grin evident in his voice. "You were cute kids."

"We were terrible," he said, unable to hold back the fond smile creeping up.

"You still are." Kravitz laughed, even when Taako knocked his head backwards to butt him in the nose. He didn't care, attention still glued onto the screen. Lup picked up a slingshot and ran off the back porch. She found a wasp's nest, slung rocks at it until it fell, and then ran back into the safety of the house with Taako. "Wow, she's...energetic."

Taako watched Lup swat a wasp out of her hair and stomped it to the ground, only to get stung on her foot as she stepped on it. "That's Lup for you."

"Can I see your favorite year?"

"A favorite? Huh..." Taako quickly scrolled past his first century with Lup, their studies at the Institute, and through a good chunk of the mission. He found a familiar scene, of a full moon reflected in a lake at midnight, of an altar with the Raven Queen standing underneath, with Kravitz and his red gloves. "Uh, probably this one?"

"Oh, I'm in this one." Kravitz shifted underneath Taako, needing a better look. "Is that an altar?"

"Some ritual, we had to get married." Taako knew he shouldn't get embarrassed, Kravitz saw that they dated a lot. This wasn't news. But still, he couldn't help the way his chest tightened. "It was, uh, when I found out you could remember at the end of every year."

"When the letters started?"

"Not, uh, until a couple years after, we--" Taako scrolled past the next year, which started out crystal clear and slowly fuzzed out into static and oblivion. "Ran into some snags."

Kravitz held him closer around the waist. "I'm sorry."

"It's--cool." Taako hurriedly scrolled past that year, and a few more for good measure. "Don't want to talk about it."

Thankfully, Kravitz didn't press on it. He even averted his eyes for a moment, waited for the memory to pass. Taako found something suitable to show him and tapped his chin, getting him to look up again.

"Here's you with a full memory." Taako played the memory of his reunion with Kravitz after the year he worked for the Raven Queen. "These are the best."

Kravitz didn't immediately speak back up again. He watched the memory carefully, breathing even and slow. "I wish I could see your face in this," Kravitz finally said, voice quiet and reverent. His fingers twitched under Taako's, like he wanted to rewind or play the scene again. "I look really happy, I hope--you were, too."

"I was." Taako took his hand off of Kravitz'. "You can--you can scroll. It's fine."

"Are you sure?"

"Yeah, go for it." Taako settled into Kravitz' arm, both his hands holding his boyfriend's free hand. "Just don't go farther back than the IPRE orientation and you're good."

Kravitz took control of the screen, and was infinitely more skilled than Taako could ever be. It looked to be second nature to him, and he could get through large swaths of memories in just a moment. Fingers skilled and precise, he rewound the memories. To Kravitz' credit, he didn't go farther back than orientation. He did pop back to see it, though, curious. He watched as Taako met Barry and Magnus and Lucretia and Merle for the first time, how he shook Davenport's hand at some important ceremony.

Then, he found the year Taako spent with him out on the sea of souls, out in the gondola. Held Taako tighter to him as he watched one of those conversations play out. He scrubbed a few years later and found the mushroom world, apologized as he watched that train wreck unfold. Kravitz went through most of the years, only offering comments every once in a while, or asking questions to fill in gaps. A couple of times, Taako laid his hand back on Kravitz' and asked him to scroll past something, and Kravitz did so every time. Fucking gentleman. Made Taako want to go back and spill all his secrets out.

But there really wasn't any use in spilling those out when Kravitz would forget in a while. He'd have to have a long conversation with real Kravitz, once they got more than ten minutes together.

There were a lot of memories of Taako running his fingers along Kravitz' tattoo. Kravitz rolled up his sleeve and inspected his. "No pink for a while, huh," he said, absentmindedly.

"Mhmm." Taako traced his fingers around the bands of the tattoo, which had three levels of bands now, instead of just two. "I think it's the one you get when you, uh--when we date. But I'm not sure."

Kravitz hummed out an affirmative and turned his attention back to the screen. He scrolled past a few years in a row where he took Taako to the Stockade.

"Does it bother you that I don't look the same every year?" he asked, a half-elf version of him on the screen.

"Nah, you're always hot. Besides, I don't give a shit what kinda race or height or weight or whatever you are, 'cause it's still you. It's not--like, the fuckin'-- _package_ doesn't matter, if that's what you're worried about." Taako's eyes widened. Fuck. Didn't meant to get so deep, there. He reached behind him to pinch Kravitz' face, taking the conversation out of Fragile Honesty Zone. "And, uh, you always keep your face. So that makes things less confusing."

For a while, Kravitz stayed silent. Taako shrank in on himself--did he say too much? Fuck. Why'd he have to be so goddamn needy and clingy? Taako turned around to check on Kravitz, expecting to see a frown. He had every right to kick Taako out for how desperate that sounded. But, when Taako looked behind him, all he saw was a dumbstruck look on Kravitz' face, slowly forming into a grin.

"I can't believe how lucky I am," he said, voice broken and eyes shimmering.

"Not even like I said anything groundbreaking." Taako pecked him on the lips real quick and then turned around, settling back down into Kravitz' arms. "Sap."

Kravitz turned his attention back to the screen and scrolled back near the beginning again. He saw himself as a raven, and then he watched as he turned into the weird mishmash of races that made up First Kravitz. "Oh _my Lady,_ what the fuck is that?"

"You, uh, it's from the first year." Taako laughed, tilted his head back to settle into Kravitz' shoulder. "The planet was only animals and you didn't know what, uh, humans or elves or dwarves looked like. So you kind of patched us all together to make something."

"That was the _first year?"_ Kravitz kissed the back of Taako's head. "And you still went after me?"

"Hey, I didn't know any of this bullshit was going to happen," he said, making a point not to look at the screen anymore. "Like, does anyone, uh, fall in love on purpose? I think the fuck not."

"You're a furry," he said, voice barely holding back laughter.

_"You take that back."_  

Kravitz pressed his face up to the side of Taako's, nuzzled his nose into his cheek as he laughed and teased. "I can shapeshift most years, if you want me to change my form to suit your _furry needs--"_

Taako elbowed him backwards. "I'll burn a spell slot sending you to hell if you finish that sentence!"

Both of them burst out into laughter, unable to take the furry thing seriously. Kravitz hugged him tight, his chest and stomach hitting at Taako's back with the amount of force he laughed with. Taako couldn't stop smiling, the sound of Kravitz' out of control laughter rare to his ears. They fell quiet again, only the sound of a few lingering giggles from Taako echoed through the room. Kravitz tightened his grip on Taako, more tense than he should have been.

"Do you regret it? All of this?" Kravitz asked, suddenly taking the mood straight down into a ravine. "It might have been easier if we never--"

Taako turned around and kissed Kravitz before he could even think about it.

"Don't," he said, kissed him again. Taako wanted to tell him that no, even though this was horrible and bad and he didn't get Kravitz all the time, he didn't regret any of it. He wanted to say that it'd be fine at some point, when the Hunger left forever and when Kravitz would finally remember everything. Instead, he could only say, "just...don't."

"Okay." Kravitz wrapped Taako up in a hug, held him tight. "I love you."

"Yeah, uh, same here." Taako looked behind him, saw his memory shard on the couch. The screen disappeared when he turned around. "Can you, uh, put my soul back? I think--I'm done. For right now."

"Of course." Kravitz reached for the shard and slid it back into Taako's chest. He was able to remember things like he normally could with the shard back in, which was a relief. "Thank you for sharing that with me."

"Uh-huh, yeah, sure." Taako stretched his arms and laid out on the couch, exhausted. "Don't know about you, but I'm shutting down honesty for the night, babe."

"It _was_ a lot." Kravitz reached for the remote and handed it to Taako. "Here, put on something stupid, I'll grab some wine."

"Wait, c'mere," Taako said, and brought Kravitz' face down to kiss him before he could leave for wine. "Just so you know: it's. Uh. It's worth it. All of this."

Kravitz laughed, kept his face close to Taako. "What happened to shutting down honesty for the night?"

"I had one more in me." Taako kissed him again, because he could. "Love you."

"So, two more?" Kravitz laughed, kissed Taako's cheek and made a break for the kitchen. "Love you too."

Taako couldn't wipe the goofy smile off his face, even as he flipped through Fantasy Netflix to find Fantasy Nailed It. He needed to see Kravitz' wheezing laughter and unhinged rage directed at a bunch of poorly constructed cakes.

* * *

Kravitz pulled Taako aside quickly and quietly. Taako went along with him, dropping the game of Fantasy Jenga he played with Magnus and Barry ("I'm toppling it, I lose, fuck it,"). Kravitz took him outside the shared house and kept walking. 

"I'm getting called," he said, urgent as he kept his steady pace. "Would you like to come with me?"

"Why's that?"

"It's the eighth day." Kravitz smiled. Taako let go of Kravitz' hand and sprinted ahead of him. "Okay, I'll take that as a yes."

"Listen, you're nice an' all, but I do want to see, uh, y'know." Taako let Kravitz catch up and kissed him. "I mean, I get that you're the same person, but--"

"I want to see you too," Kravitz said, hand cupping Taako's face. "With all my memory, not just fragments of it."

"Good."

They walked together into the Raven Queen's plush office. She wasn't too happy to see Taako (man, he hoped they would be on good terms with the Raven Queen they'd eventually end up with), but couldn't protest much. Too focused on her instructions and her work. Kravitz gained another pink dot on his arm and rushed away from his goddess' desk, all smiles.

"Taako, it's--" Kravitz couldn't finish any of his thoughts before Taako launched himself into his arms, kissing him and kissing him and _kissing him._ Kravitz had to forcibly manhandle him an inch or two away to speak. "That's quite a welcome for a year where I knew you the whole time."

"Doesn't matter, didn't know me all the way," Taako said, kissed him again. And a couple times more for good measure.

Kravitz laughed, low and fond. "I love you."

"Y--j--I, uh, yeah, I love you too." Taako cursed to himself. He had no reason to be nervous, what the fuck was wrong with him? Kravitz laughed, though, and Taako went from embarrassed to pissed. "Was that _supposed_ to be funny?"

"You're cute when you're flustered." Kravitz spoke softly, maybe even reverently, and moved a strand of hair behind Taako's ear. "It doesn't happen very often."

Taako shrugged, hoped he could put all that fumbling behind him. No need to dwell on it. "Don't have a lot of time for it."

That made Kravitz' good mood fall. "I'm so _fucking_ tired of this," Kravitz said, more exhausted than angry. More like he was talking to himself than to Taako. "I want to be there for you every year. Like this one. Where I know you." He got closer to the edge of getting actually pissed off. "It was--this--I liked this year."

"Other than the whole, uh, situation of staying in the Astral plane, same here."

"I just--Taako, I don't know when we'll get to have another year like this, or if--" Kravitz' voice broke in a way that Taako was very much not a fan of. "Or if we'll ever get to have a normal relationship."

Taako shrugged. "Babe, even if we both remembered each other at the same time, there's no _normal_ relationship with us in the mix."

"I guess not." Kravitz didn't take the joke bait, just looked off into the distance with a wistful look in his eyes. "But I love what we have. Or--what we could have."

"Barry's getting there."

"Barry said he's been _getting there_ for years." His voice came out as a whine. "What if--what if he never gets there?"

"I, uh." Taako dropped his hands to his sides. "Don't know."

Kravitz took in a breath, but Taako could tell it was just a mask to hide a sniffle. He'd done it before loads of times. He knew what that sounded like. "Sorry, I--you came here to say hello. And have fun. I'm--being a downer." Kravitz smiled at him, although it looked strained.

"Hey," Taako said, and pulled Kravitz in for a hug. "C'mere."

It took a moment, but Kravitz got the picture. He scrambled to wrap his arms around Taako's back, and his head immediately dropped into his shoulder. Which was kind of a production, because he was a pretty big half-orc for the year.

"I, uh. I'm not good at this, 'cause, you're usually the one that, uh, does the damage control--" Taako rubbed circles into the bulk of Kravitz' neck, unsure of what the fuck he was supposed to do. "And. I don't. Know what to say, really."

Kravitz huffed. "Taako, I'm fine."

"Are you?" Taako rested his head on Kravitz. "You've been doing this longer than I have."

"I mean, I only know what's going on for ten minutes out of the year," he said, just a bit impatient.

"But you-- _fuck,_ you spend all that time talking to me, or writing a letter, or--I don't know what the fuck you did before we figured that shit out, but." Taako pulled back a couple inches to inspect Kravitz' face. "Are you? Okay?"

He paused for a fraction of a second too long before answering. "O--of course I'm okay."

"That doesn't sound like your okay voice," Taako said, stern.

"I'm fine, Taako." It was a little curt and a little annoyed, which wasn't the answer he wanted. And it sure as hell wasn't convincing.

But, because Taako was bad at this whole thing, all he could ask was, "yeah?"

"Yeah." Kravitz kissed the top of Taako's head (mostly because he could, god damn, why did half-orcs have to be so _tall)._ "Please don't worry about me."

That only made Taako worry more.

He stepped away from Kravitz and made a few _totally casual_ but well-meaning and worried hand gestures. "Okay, but, like--you'd _tell_ me if. If you weren't good, right?"

Kravitz chuckled, although it was too polite for Taako's tastes. "Yes, Taako, I would tell you."

"You're sure?"

"Everything is fine." Kravitz stepped forward and kissed Taako's head again (huh. usually he'd go for the lips). "I just don't want to kill you again."

Taako stuck his tongue out and made a fart noise. "Ship's sailed on that one."

_That_ finally got Kravitz to laugh again. His real laugh. "I didn't kill you this year."

"Hmm, point taken." Taako reached up and ran his thumb along Kravitz' cheekbones, right under the rim of his glasses. "The glasses are cute."

"You think?" Kravitz pushed the frames farther up his face. "I had them when I was alive."

"God damn, could you get any hotter?" Taako looked Kravitz up and down, wondered if he was a half-orc in life, too. But then he remembered that he could just _ask_ the dude. He _knew._   "What--uh, what were you like? You've never given me the, uh, the deets."

He hummed, wracked his brain for details. He counted off his fingers, listing things. "Still a bounty hunter. Same face and everything, uh, half-elf..." Kravitz took hold of one of his locs and twisted it between his fingers. "I didn't wear my hair like this, it was, um, I kept it loose."

"Fuck, you sound cute." Taako laid both hands on Kravitz' shoulders, his grin borderline predatory. "Like, that's not even a _thing,_ 'cause you're always cute, but--"

"Thank you." Kravitz smiled down at him, proud of himself. Good. He should be.

"So, uh." Taako blew out a breath. His eyes glimmered as he prepared another question. "First husband? What was, uh, he like?"

Kravitz stammered out a couple of lost words, hand flying to cover his mouth. "Oh, _geez,_ Taako, I said you shouldn't be jealous."

"Not jealous, just tryin' to find out if you have a type." Taako leaned up closer, teasing. "If he's anything like me, I'll know you have a _fetish."_

"Nobody is anything like you," he said, purposefully ignoring the fetish comment. "We married very young, barely nineteen. We, ah, just--had our differences." Kravitz frowned, the memory of his first husband dredging up some unpleasant memories. Taako had the feeling he held back on his description, but he didn't press any further. "Divorced in just a couple years. Before I died, even."

"Huh." Taako sucked on his teeth, acting as casual as he could to get more information out. "Doesn't make a whole lotta sense, you were, uh--a pretty, uh, good husband."

"Only because you were, too." Kravitz watched Taako dreamily, but his good mood fell when he thought about his first husband again. "He never--worked. With me. And we fought too much."

"Were you--"

"Can we--can we save it for, uh, when I have more time with you?" The humor left Kravitz' face. Really touchy subject, then. "I don't want to talk about him when the portal's coming up."

"That's cool." Taako filed that information away. Wouldn't bring up the husband until they had some time. Also: would bring it up delicately. Maybe he'd ask Lup how to make it sound nicer first. Instead, Taako went for something safer. "You have family?"

Kravitz made a sound that was something in between a snort and a growl. _"Taako."_

"What? Can't a dude want to know more about his boyfriend in peace?" Taako let the question hang in the air, and when Kravitz' expression didn't budge, he decided to drop it. "It's fine, just. Okay. I miss you."

"I miss you, too." Kravitz' eyes flicked over to the Raven Queen for just a fraction of a second. "I hope Lucretia stays alive for the last part of this week."

"Right." Taako looked to the floor. "Fuck, I--forgot about that."

"Taako," he said, grabbing both of Taako's hands and holding them in his own, "if this is the last time I see you--"

Taako shook his head. "It won't be--"

"Just in case." Kravitz held Taako's hands closer to him, right at his chest. "I want you to know that. Um. Even if this was a bad set of circumstances, you. You. You're the best thing that ever happened to me. You and the rest of the crew." He spoke seriously, eye contact never breaking. An edge of nerves underneath all his words. "Even if this is the last I'll ever see of you, I--I won't regret it."

"But it won't be," Taako reminded him, squeezed his hands.

"But it won't be." Kravitz smiled, gave Taako a real kiss _(finally)._ "If Lucretia wasn't taken yet, I hardly assume she will be within the week. Just--find me next year, leave me some kind of sign so I'll know you're okay?"

"Sure, no problem." Taako heard the sound of a portal he was really starting to hate. Except, he couldn't hate it. Kept his boyfriend safe. Taako pulled Kravitz towards the portal, insistent. "Portal's here. Love you."

"I love you, too." Kravitz turned to walk into the portal, but gave Taako one more kiss. Something sweet but with a bit of urgency to it. "Here, one more."

"I'll take it, but you better walk through that motherfucking portal." Taako tapped him on the cheek, pushed him more firmly towards the portal. "Can't have you getting eaten."

"I wouldn't dream of it." Kravitz hooked one leg into the portal, and then the other. He stood behind it, watched Taako like he wanted to commit every one of his features to a memory that would disappear in seconds. "I love you, he said, and for once the portal didn't immediately disappear after he said it.

"I love you, too," Taako said, and then the portal shut.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> posting this about ten hours early because i have an important work thing early tomorrow! wanted to make sure this got posted in time :) also: there may be some weird posting times for the next two weeks. you may get chapters a couple hours later than what I usually post at! but it'll still be on fridays (i'm also running behind on chapters so hhhhh here's hoping i catch back up soon)
> 
> next time: cycle sixty-nine, NICE


	16. Cycle 69 (nice)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Kravitz and Barry do a no good, very bad thing. Taako practices his grammar.

"Nice," Taako said, seconds after reforming.

"Nice," Magnus said, immediately after. Lup, Magnus, Taako, and Lucretia all echoed out choruses of, "nice," to Davenport's chagrin and Merle's confusion. Barry didn't join in, but doubled over in laughter, wheezing like his lungs were about to give out. The four of them kept calling out, "nice," to each other, not stopping once, even as they started out their yearly duties.

"What's nice?" Merle asked, his hands twisted in his beard.

"Cycle sixty-nine," Magnus said, grin so wide it could split his face in half. Lup and Taako shouted out, "nice," when he said the number again. Lucretia held a journal to her forehead to hide how hard she laughed.

"What's so funny about sixty-nine?" Merle asked, and Taako shouted out, "nice," again.

"Merle, there's no goddamn way you don't know what sixty-nining is." Lup turned her chin up at Merle, looking down at him with a sneer. Lucretia let out a quiet, "nice," when she said the number again. "I'd bet a few hundred buckaroos that you've done it before."

" _Hell_ no, Lup, shut the fuck up!" Taako elbowed her in the ribs.

"Just saying," she said, and shrugged. "He fucked Pan that one time."

Taako covered both his ears and turned away. "Do _not_ remind me."

"And he's fucking Capp'nport on a regular basis," Magnus added.

"I thought we agreed not to talk about that again," Davenport said, ears red and arms crossed.

"Also he keeps describing the Hunger as _devilishly handsome_ when I ask about what they spoke about in parley." Lucretia rolled her eyes.

Davenport looked like he could explode at any moment. "He's _what?"_

Merle crossed his arms and got more impatient. "What's sixty-nining?"

Magnus let out a huff and knelt down to Merle's height. He whispered something in Merle's ear, and Merle looked increasingly more horny the longer Magnus explained the concept to him. Terrifying. The rest of the room groaned in protest, unable to handle Merle's energy.

Once Magnus finished explaining, Merle let out a few sounds of understanding and nodded his head. "Oh, we called that the oral fecal route when I was in med school."

"I'm in hell." Davenport covered his face with his hands. "I'm in hell and all of you sent me there, personally."

After Davenport calmed down, he flew into the new plane. A few flyovers showed a fairly conservative society, all elves. Taako's shoulders dropped. That meant he'd have to be _presentable._ They only ran into one other all-elf society, and they did _not_ like Taako and Lup's accent. Not their fault they couldn't afford finishing school while on the road trying not to starve to death. It also meant they'd have to take the brunt of the social interaction, since a planet of all-elves would be suspicious of non-elves from the sky. Taako was fine with social interaction, sure, but he preferred to do it with people he liked.

Ugh, why'd cycle sixty-nine (nice) have to be so tedious?

"Hey, guys, I think the necromancy situation is real bad here," Barry said. At some point, he'd gotten out a couple instruments to do his yearly atmosphere and necromancy checks. "I'm gonna go turn on the wards real quick."

"I'll do it, I need to go get some more journals out of storage." Lucretia left the room, headed towards the back of the ship.

"Aw _shit,"_ Taako said, more of a performance than actual disappointment (it wasn't like he'd go after Kravitz even if they weren't getting chased by him). "Year sixty-nine and I won't be able to get any?"

Lup punched him in the arm. "Great job, Taako, you just sent my ears to hell."

"You send my ears to hell more often." Taako turned his nose away from Lup, chin raised in the air. "It's revenge."

All Lup could do was punch him in the arm again. He probably deserved it.

Davenport let them know that they had a few days of ship time before the Light came down. They figured it'd be best to stay in the air until then, the society down below seemed suspicious of their ship. He'd have to park in a secluded area and walk out into town. That wasn't too bad, it was better than dying at the hands of locals, but still inconvenient. Taako figured he should prepare for damage control. Lup could only cover his ass so much in a high-society conversation. Maybe he'd pull out the basic elvish grammar book Magnus kept in his room. He had a few days to figure this out.

"You know what that means, babe." Lup linked an arm around Barry and grinned. Barry smiled right back at her, about to come up with an answer, but Taako stopped him.

Taako shoved his foot into the back of Lup's seat. _"Hell_ no! No way! Not in front of my own two eyes!"

"But it's cycle sixty-nine," Lup said in a whine (and Magnus called out a, "nice," from across the room), "we have to."

 _"I don't need to know about it!"_ Taako stood there, horrified as he watched Lup and Barry retreat to Barry's room. God damn it. Now he _knew._

After a couple moments, Merle waddled over to Davenport, who was still a bit uptight from earlier. He waggled his eyebrows in a way that was probably meant to be flirtatious, but fell extremely short of that. "Hey, bud, d'you wanna try the oral fecal route?"

"Fuck all of you, I'm sulking in my room." Taako stood up and marched to his quarters, defiant.

"What else is new?" Magnus asked, and laughed. He had his face pressed up against the glass. "I can't wait to see what's down there," he said in awe.

* * *

The citizens of this plane were _not_ fans of outsiders.

Probably because all of the citizens were elves. All of them. Apparently, there used to be humans and other races, but they perished from a plague. They burned the bodies and all traces of humans and dwarves and gnomes and halflings so it wouldn't spread to the elves. They freaked out and killed Magnus on sight. Thought he was some kind of carrier. They were suspicious of the twins, but at least they didn't get killed. They weren't welcome, they got their accents made fun of, but they had their lives. Taako and Lup were assigned to make all supply runs that year. Sometimes, they'd take Barry or Lucretia with them, cast a disguise spell on them to make their ears longer and gave their eyes the subtle sparkle that all creatures with fae in their lineage had.

Davenport and Merle tried to stand on each other's shoulders and get into disguise. The trenchcoat fell open before they could get too far into town. They barely escaped with their lives like that. So the two were trapped on the ship. They could walk around the forest, sure, but couldn't get anywhere near civilization.

It was even difficult for Taako and Lup to blend in with the elves. Even though they were both high elves, they weren't exactly well-versed in high society. They spoke in a variant of elvish that most other elves looked down on--farm elvish or hick elvish, the exact name was different depending on who you asked. Lucretia actually knew better elvish than the two of them. Kind of fucked up that Lucretia could fit in with these elves better than Lup or Taako could. They were never too great about fitting in with normal society. Which is how they liked it. Naturally.

Still, they had to brush up on their fancy city-folk grammar to hold a normal conversation with anyone on this fuckoff planet.

Lup and Taako took Barry outside to get him some air. It was a thinly-veiled excuse to force Barry to carry any supplies they ended up buying at the market. Wasn't like Barry minded at all--he'd do most things Lup asked of him, as long as it didn't put him in direct danger. It was a good thing Lup wasn't the type to take advantage of him (fuck, she was just as bad as Barry sometimes) or else Barry would be in trouble. They bought all the essential supplies they needed, and just spent some time in the artisan's section of the market fucking around. There wasn't much else Barry could do for fun on the ship, so they figured it was nice to let the boy out for a walk.

"I'm not a dog," he said, and both the twins laughed.

Barry found someone selling denim, so _of course_ he spent, like, an hour over there. Not every plane had denim. Not only did one tent sell denim jeans, but they also sold a set of boxers with _pictures_ of jeans on them, and Barry spent a long time weighing the pros and cons of buying them (pro: hilarious. con: get harassed by Taako for an eternity. pro: Lup said she liked them. con: _Lup said she liked them)._

Lup hovered around one specific tent while Barry tried to justify how many denim products he could buy. She walked in and out at least five times, indecisive. And, okay. Lup? Not an indecisive gal. So this little action piqued Taako's interest. When she walked away from the tent for the sixth time, Taako ducked his head in to see what had her so nervous.

A jeweler.

Not just a normal jeweler, either. Like, if it was just a tent with a bunch of necklaces and watch faces that'd be one thing. But, no. This motherfucking tent had _cases and cases_ of rings. Some of them were really basic, some elaborate, some enchanted--it didn't matter. This jeweler had one specialty and ran with it. Just rings.

Holy fucking shit.

Taako walked out of the tent. He knew he'd have to... _Damn it._ Did he have to talk to Lup about this? Was that his responsibility? Maybe responsibility wasn't the right word. Maybe he just--Lup just needed help, it seemed. It was rare to catch her like this. The last time Taako let this go unchecked, Lup spent four years unhappy and lonely. Nope, he couldn't let that happen. If she was thinking about marrying her big nerd, Taako had to make sure she didn't scare herself off that thought. Barry was _really good_ for her, and she was really good for him. Lup deserved to have _something_ good come out of this shitty situation.

They already acted like a married couple, it wouldn't even be _a thing._

But of course it'd be a thing, because this sort of shit was important. Their relationship was all well and good during this weird time loop situation, but it would definitely change once the Hunger was gone. Barry was human, it wasn't like they had five more centuries with him, biologically. Lup would get fifty more years out of him, and that was on the most generous scale. Barry said he was fifty-five when they blasted off. A baby, if he were an elf. But as a human? That's no spring chicken.

Maybe that was the only reason she was indecisive about marrying him, since she was so attached to him otherwise.

Maybe Taako read too much into this and the thought wasn't even on her mind.

Taako waited for Lup to step into the tent again, and then followed her in. She had her eyes tight and focused on one case in particular, watching it like it was going to do a trick. Taako snuck up behind her.

"What'cha lookin' at?" he asked, right up next to her ear.

 _"Augh--"_ Lup sprang forwards, hand clasped on the edge of one of the tables. She turned her head, slowly, and then relaxed once she saw Taako. And then she tensed up even farther. "I, uh. You know."

"Rings, huh," he said with a grin.

Lup refused to look him in the eye. "The, uh, the shopkeeper said they were enchanted."

"With what?"

"With." Lup tapped her finger on the glass of one of the cases, voice wavering and unsure. "With, uh...fire?"

Taako had to stop himself from laughing. "Fire?"

"Fire," she confirmed, face darkening.

"Alright, cool." Taako figured he could go easy on her. He knew those thoughts made him jumpy too, he wouldn't get anywhere by aggravating her. Taako slung an arm around her shoulder and pointed at one of the cases, acting casual. "Those're really pretty, you should snatch a couple up even if you won't use the _enchantment_ until later."

"That's a good idea." Lup relaxed again, happy that Taako didn't immediately go for the throat. "It's not--you really don't think it's weird to buy them if I wouldn't use them for a couple years?"

"A _couple_ years?" Taako raised his brows at her.

"I don't know how long. Sooner than I thought I'd want to." Lup fumbled over a few lost words and pointed at the case. "Uh, use the rings. Y'know, for, uh, the enchantment."

Taako sighed. Fine. If she wanted to have the conversation like _this,_ that would work. At least she was willing to have it in the first place. "You're so good at fire, you could probably use the rings now and it wouldn't be a big deal." He put a reassuring hand on her shoulder. "But it's fine if you can't yet. Just saying."

"Yeah." She didn't take her eyes off of the display.

"Have you ever talked to Barry about--" Taako groaned, hated that he was chained to this dumbass euphemism. "--fire?"

"Uh. Yeah." Lup finally looked up, and it scared him to see the uncertainty in her eyes. "Buncha times."

"What'd he say?" He tried asking that delicately, but it came out more urgent. Whoops. Not his fault that he wanted to know if he should expect a new brother soon. Not that he didn't already think of Barry as part of the family, but he knew both of them wanted marriage at some point. He wouldn't put so much stock in their future marriage if they weren't into it. Since both of them had come to him and talked about it separately, though, he knew they both wanted it. So he wanted it too. For them.

And also for him, but that was another story.

"Well, uh--I asked him if he could, um. If he could cast the fire first." Lup smiled to herself, eyes back on the rings. "And he said he will. At some point."

"Sweet, so it's not on you."

"Right. That's cool. But just 'cause he _casts_ it, that doesn't mean I can't. Y'know." She weakly gestured towards the cases of rings. "Have a ring ready for it."

Taako just gave a noncommittal hum in exchange. Good that she wasn't trying to talk herself out of it. If anything, she tried to talk herself into it. Aside from a few couple's spats every year or two (it would be weird if they didn't have any), the two got along perfectly. It wasn't a whirlwind type of love, where they were so attached to each other it hurt. They looked comfortable. They didn't spend any less time with the crew, Lup didn't love Taako any less, they just fit each other into each of their lives. It was stable and quiet. Something Lup deserved, if she wanted it. And from the look on her face as she stared at the rings, she really wanted it.

"Remember when I asked if you wanted to marry Kravitz for real?" she asked, voice quiet.

"Not really," he said, which was a big, fat lie. He remembered that conversation like it happened five minutes prior. "Must'a been a long time ago."

"Forty years?" Lup shrugged. "Not too long."

"Forty years is a really long time, Lup." Barry stepped into the tent, some of his denim purchases folded over his arm. He bought the boxers. Both twins froze, ears pinned up to their skulls. Barry stepped backwards towards the entrance of the tent, prepared to exit. "Oh, sorry, is this private?"

"No," Taako said, just as Lup said, "yeah, babe, it is."

Taako shook his head and pulled Barry in the space, grinning at Lup all the while. "Listen, this isn't a _thing._ We're not talking about anything big." He gave Barry a firm pat on the back, wore a showman's smile. "Barold can listen in all he wants."

Barry looked to Lup for confirmation, and she reluctantly let him stay in the tent.

"Did something happen forty years ago?" Barry made his way further in the tent, allowed himself to get more involved in the conversation. "Wasn't cycle twenty-nine the really bad one?"

"No, I was rounding down," Taako said, "talking about twenty-eight."

"The one Taako got married in?" Barry looked around the tent, finally noticed he stood in a ring shop. His eyes widened and he threw his hand onto Taako's shoulder, ecstatic. "Are you getting married again?"

"That's what I was asking him," Lup said, happy that Barry didn't catch on that they had been talking about her before she brought up Taako's plans for marriage.

Taako huffed, put _his_ hand on Barry's shoulder. Two could play at this game of teasing. "Nobody's getting married this cycle if you're not showing a ring to Lup."

"That's still a little far off for us, maybe." Barry chuckled, but his face fell when he caught Lup's eye. He took his hand off of Taako, cheeks heating up as he stuttered through a sentence for Lup. "Oh, uh, but uh--if you ever see a set you like, you can just go ahead and--"

"Yeah, that's what I was--thinking about." She tilted her head towards one of the cases, tried to be as nonchalant as possible. "Since we don't run into places like this every cycle."

Barry took a long look at the cases. "That's...a good idea."

Lup took a long look at Barry. "Want to help me pick them out?"

"Yeah." His nerves disappeared into a smile. "Yeah, I'd really like that."

"Ugh, _gross,_ I'm gonna go out and get some air," Taako said, but he couldn't wipe the stupid smile off his face. He walked outside, mostly to give the two time alone. He knew when he needed to leave them be. This was their moment, not something for him to joke through. Except, Taako didn't really have anywhere else to go. He hung out next to the jeweler's tent, waited for Lup and Barry to finish their stuff. He didn't want to talk to any of these other elves, didn't want to buy anything, just. Wanted some peace.

Peace lasted for about three seconds before Taako saw Kravitz, about thirty feet away.

God damn it.

At least it didn't seem like he was dressed for work. He had on his version of casual clothes. Business casual. An elf, of course, everyone here was an elf. Had his hair out loose and natural like he described himself when he was alive. No scythe, no ravens following him around, no flair. Hopefully this was just a coincidence. Or maybe it was a covert operation. Whatever it was, Taako and Lup and Barry needed to get out, fast. They couldn't risk him knowing what their faces looked like, or knowing that they were associated with each other. They had thick enough wards on them that he wouldn't be able to identify their souls, but they could never be too careful.

He cast message on Lup, warned her about Kravitz outside and assured her he'd take care of it. Told her to stay on the watch. He spoke about Kravitz like he was a fucking _wasp's nest,_ but in a year like this, that's pretty much what he was. There wasn't any way to reason with the guy when the necromancy situation was this bad. He'd have to come up with a distraction or something to get Kravitz away from the ring tent so Lup and Barry could escape.

And then, oh no, oh _shit,_ Kravitz approached him.

"Um, hello," he said, hands behind his back. Ears tilted up. At least the dude was in a good mood.

"...Hi?" Taako's shoulders stayed stiff and tense, even if Kravitz didn't immediately reap him. "Uh, I'm. Waiting for my si--I'm _alone!"_ God damn. Could this have gone any worse? He didn't have much of a charisma stat to begin with, but Kravitz dropped his score the rest of the way down.

"Oh. Good for you?" Kravitz still didn't do anything. Just stood there with a shy smile. "It's--a lovely day out."

"Yeah? Yeah, it is?" Taako braced himself to run.

"Do you--" Kravitz drew out a breath, looking just about as tense as Taako was. "Are you here often?"

"What?"

Kravitz' eyes widened and he stumbled through his words, face darkening and ears pinning to the side of his skull. "Do you come here often? Is what I meant. When I asked that question."

Oh. _Oh!_ Fuck, really? _Really?_

Taako had to stop himself from groaning. Why did Kravitz come to hit on him at the worst times? Also, why was he so bad at flirting? Not that Taako was any better, holy shit. It was a miracle they ever got together in the first place.

But, getting hit on aside, Taako needed to figure this out. His charisma stat was in the toilet, but he could get through a conversation with Kravitz. Dude was an expert on that. He'd at least be able to distract the guy until Barry and Lup skedaddled. Lup should have gotten his message. And, now that he knew this Kravitz was into him, that made things a tad easier. Kravitz wouldn't be mad at him for baiting him like this if it meant Taako would stay alive at the end of the exchange.

Before Taako could make a decision, Kravitz already tripped over himself backpedaling. "Was that--I'm sorry, you look--uncomfortable--"

Taako laid his hand on Kravitz' arm. Laid it on thick. "No, uh, it's fine, just. Been a while."

"I can't imagine that at all," Kravitz said, a sigh and a smile in his voice. He straightened his back and looked away, embarrassed. "But, uh--it's been a while for me, too."

"No kidding." Taako mimicked Kravitz' voice, both hands on his hips. _"Are you here often?_   That's not a pickup line, dude."

"I wasn't trying to _pick you up,"_ Kravitz said, too polite to roll his eyes, but right on that edge.

"Classy." Taako saw Lup peek her head out of the tent and grabbed Kravitz on the arm, turned him away from the tent and forced him to walk forward. "Alright. You know what? You're cute. Let me buy you a drink."

Kravitz laughed, but didn't resist. "It's a little early for drinking, isn't it?"

"Nobody said it had to be booze, y'know." Taako kept his nose in the air, speaking like he was a resident expert on midday refreshments. "I'm not gonna judge if you want a fuckin' Bloody Mary at three in the afternoon, but, I think maybe a tea would work better? Little late for caffeine, but, hey, I'm not your dad. A floral sounds nice, huh?"

"It does." Kravitz walked more comfortably towards a tent selling refreshments. Taako led him to sit on one of the stools out front and pat his pockets overdramatically, let out a few obvious curses.

"Ah, shit, you know what? I forgot my wallet at the last tent." Taako pointed his thumb back in the direction they came from. "Wait right here, I'll, uh, go grab it."

"Um, alright," Kravitz said, and looked down. His ears fell to a more neutral position, instead of the perked up height they stayed at when they flirted. Deflated. Didn't try to follow Taako; he could tell this was a lame way to duck out.

Even though Taako was supposed to run, he felt bad for the guy. He leaned up and kissed him on the cheek. "Nothin' you did, dude. 'M a flighty bastard. Not in a good place right now."

Kravitz reached up to touch the spot Taako kissed. "That's alright, um. Take care of yourself."  He smiled, simple and soft. "Thank you for that, I would have--worried for months about which of your boundaries I overstepped."

"Trust me, in better conditions, I would be all over this. You're cute." He had to hold back the instinct to kiss Kravitz again. He stepped backwards to curb his wants. "Thanks for being cool 'bout it."

"Of course." Kravitz waved, friendly but hella awkward. "I hope things get better for you."

Taako nodded and walked off, back in the direction of the ship. It didn't take very long. Davenport mercifully parked the ship close to the market so that they wouldn't have to carry supplies too far. He didn't see Lup or Barry on the way back, but he saw Lup waiting on the deck as he got closer. Lup crashed him in a hug, enough to knock all the wind out of him. He didn't have the energy to be bothered by that, though, and hugged her just as tight.

"Where's Barry?" Taako asked. He didn't see him on the deck at all.

"We had to split off." Lup kept her eyes on the tree line, anxious. She held Taako a little tighter than she usually would. "Should be back soon."

And the twins sat together until Barry came back. Lup showed off the rings that she and Barry picked out together. Bands that looked like blue fire encircling the finger. Metal as fuck. It would look a little out of place on Barry's hands, but she told Taako that he was giddy to have something Lup-ish on his person. Which was cute all on its own. Two hours later, Barry did come back. He carried something wrapped in cloth under his arm, a little too protective of it. He even kept a tight hold of it while Lup ran forward to hug him, which was impressive.

"Barry!" Lup stepped backwards out of squeezing the life out of her boy. "We thought you got caught!"

"No, I'm good." He laughed a little, but his face fell when he saw Lup and Taako's expressions. "You both waited the whole time?"

"We were worried." Lup frowned.

 _"Lup_   was worried," Taako corrected, even though he was just as worried as she was. "I tried to tell her how much of a pushover Kravitz was."

"What's that?" Lup asked, in a desperate attempt to change the subject, but also out of extreme curiosity for the hidden thing under Barry's arms.

"It's a secret," he said, and winked. Lup looked excited enough about the surprise to stop asking questions, and the three of them went inside the Starblaster together, jabbering about close calls and Barry's horrible new denim boxers.

* * *

Barry stayed cooped up in the lab for most of the year.

Taako wasn't entirely sure what he studied there, since they hadn't retrieved the Light. He'd assume Barry just used the lab as an excuse to fuck around with Lup, but she didn't know what he worked on, either. And Barry refused to say anything. Locked the door to the lab. Awfully cagey about the whole thing. It was fine for him to have some kind of secret project, especially when he was practically locked on the ship, but dude was being hella suspicious about it all.

They resigned themselves to the fact that they wouldn't get the Light. Some asshole prince had it, and no amount of etiquette montages could get either Lup or Taako prepared to go grab it. The twins only went out to go get supplies, and never at the same town (Kravitz saw them, they had to be extra careful). They were so sure they wouldn't get the Light that Merle went off in his parley, so they were down two people. Which was never something the rest of the crew liked to dwell on.

Instead, Lup focused on Barry's experiment. She'd spend almost as much time as he did in the lab trying to crack whatever project he worked on. She wondered out loud a few times if it was a surprise for one of the members of the crew. Taako thought it was some kind of elaborate engagement thing, but he didn't dare tell her and ruin the surprise Barry cooked up in the lab.

But, fuck it. Whatever plans Barry had? Whatever this surprise was? He had two months to figure it out. The twins were tired of not knowing what was behind the lab door.

So, y'know, Taako and Lup decided it was time for a lab heist.

Wasn't difficult for Lup to coax him out of there with her wily charms. Charms that Taako ignored. He stood behind the opening of the door and slid into the lab once Barry walked out to meet Lup. She got him into his room, which was probably a good thing anyway, since he hadn't been getting much sleep.

Taako stood right past the lab door, let it shut behind him. He waited until he couldn't hear Barry or Lup's voice before starting his search.

The lab was small. The mission was originally supposed to be two months, so the place only had the essentials when they started out. The room was barely larger than any of their personal quarters. Cozy, one might argue (another might argue inconvenient and not at all fit for scientific experiments). As they went through the cycles, they picked up other scientific equipment they could use, and now the lab overflowed. The amount of tools and equipment made the lab look like it was straining against its seams, but Barry preferred it that way. Taako didn't mind either, and Lup worked best in chaos. Only person who was annoyed with the state of the lab was Lucretia, and she didn't come in too often. Only when she had the wild desire to study something instead of just documenting it.

When the ship moved, everything in the lab moved. If they wanted to have a controlled environment, they had to cast spells. But Taako wasn't much of a fan of crisp white lab coat work, he much preferred this mad scientist role he was thrust into. More magic than science. They already had a _scientist,_ that was Barry's job, and Lup was better at math than Taako would ever try to be. So when Taako looked around the lab, at first nothing seemed different. Sure, some equipment was lying out on the table, but it was Barry's normal equipment. Shit that was off their hooks all the time. He knew something had to be different. Barry couldn't have been studying the Light and there was no Kravitz to study either, so he couldn't be working on his usual projects.

If this was going to be some bullshit _Where's Waldo_ puzzle, Taako was not having it. He cast silence on the door and screamed. Didn't use echolocation very often, but he needed to see what was different in here.

And, in the corner of the room, he found an unfamiliar shape. He walked up to it and found a small box-like shape with a rounded top. It was covered by one of the bathroom towels. His fingers pinched the towel and went through the shape, and _ah, wait a minute, this was stupid._ Taako just pulled on the towel. No need to do a thorough investigation on it when that was his intent in the first place.

Underneath the towel was a wicker cage. Yew wood weaved in with some vague and glowing magical ore. A knob on the top. Below the bottom of the cage was a metal box with a lock on it, with wires from it feeding into the top knob. And inside the cage--

Kravitz' soul hovered inside the cage.

He could move around in there, but didn't have a lot of space. Maybe a couple inches on each side. He stayed square in the middle, though, afraid of the bars. His form buzzed and popped when it became aware of Taako's presence. Kravitz was also dimmer than usual, although he brightened up just a hair when Taako reached his fingers into the bars of the cage.

A wave of nausea hit Taako. _What?_ Why did Barry have Kravitz inside a cage? Where did he _get_ Kravitz? It must have been the day they went to the market. That was the last time Barry went out. Is that why he came back so late? Fuck, did he _plan_ this? Sure, they made a deal to try and get Kravitz' memory accessed. Sure, Barry experimented on the guy every once in a while. But he always got Kravitz' permission, always did it during friendly years. Or did he? Taako had a million questions and a billion things he wanted to yell at Barry for, but. Kravitz in this cage was a more pressing issue.

Taako's first instinct was to let Kravitz the _fuck_ out, but he didn't know how to open it and he didn't know if this cage was doing something to his soul. Safer to keep him in for now, and demand that Barry release him.

And, _oh,_ he was going to demand.

He kicked the lab door open and shouted. Didn't even bother looking for Barry. _"BARRY!"_

Davenport and Lucretia heard Taako's screams and rushed to the lab. Lup wasn't too far behind, with Barry shambling behind her.

"What's up?" Lup let go of Barry and ran to Taako's side. "You okay?"

Instead of an explanation, Taako pushed past Lup and held the cage up in front of Barry's face. "What the fuck, dude?"

All the color drained out of Barry's face. He recognized the cage. Fuckin' bingo. He stayed calm, though, like he wasn't even aware of how fucked up this whole situation was. "Oh, Taako, you--how did you get past the locks?"

"I was _trying--_ you know, it's hella suspicious when you lock yourself up in the lab for twelve hours a day." He held the cage up higher, enraged. "What the _fuck_ is this?"

"Is that Kravitz' soul?" Lucretia asked, just a bit of worry tinged in her voice.

Taako brought the cage down, careful not to knock Kravitz into the bars. He pointed and gestured at Barry accusingly. "You bet your ass it is, and-- _nerd lord_ fuckin'--decided to-- _keep him in a cage!"_

Barry frowned, crossed his arms. Got defensive. "How else am I supposed to study him when he's hostile, Taako?"

Davenport stormed up closer to the scene. "You brought Kravitz on the ship _hostile?"_

"I just needed to test out something!" Barry took the cage from Taako (who was now too pissed to protest that) and cradled it under his arm. "He can't get out of there, it's perfectly safe."

"You still should have told us," Davenport said, brows furrowed.

Taako reached for the cage again. "Also you shouldn't _put my boyfriend in a goddamn cage."_

"How's this any different from the beach year?" Barry kept the cage from him, held it firm under his arms.

"You had Kravitz in a cage during beach year?" Lup asked, completely caught off guard. She knew about the research, but they never told her how long they had done it for and how they kept it a secret since the beach year. "Where was I?"

"It was a _jar,_ and we didn't _know_ that was Kravitz!" Taako stomped right up close to Barry, as intimidating as he could be while also being, y'know, Taako. "Also, that jar wasn't woven together with magic radiant wood and metal. You know this could kill him if he touched it, right?"

Barry backed up into the wall. "I-I needed to make sure he didn't escape--"

Lup grabbed Taako's shoulder, impatient. "Why did you two have Kravitz in a jar during the beach year?"

"That's when we decided to study him to try and figure out what was going on, it was--" Barry chewed on the inside of his cheek, thinking very hard. Chose his words carefully. "When you still hated him."

Lup started to say, "why would you _hide that_ from m--" but it was swallowed by Taako's, "fucking, just-- _would you let him go?"_

Davenport spoke up again. "We can't let him go, he'll kill us."

"And Barry can't keep him in a radiant cage, that'll kill _him!"_

"It won't _kill_ him, it's just keeping him contained in that soul form." Barry walked past the group into the common room and placed Kravitz' cage down on a table. He gestured to it. "He can't expand out into his construct. It's harmless."

Taako followed behind Barry, step by step, like a shadow. "Do I look like I care if it's _harmless?"_

"Look. Listen. Buddy." Barry tried to lay a hand on Taako's shoulder, but he shoved it off. He was _not_ having this. Barry groaned. "Do you want me to try and fix this situation or not?"

"Uh, yeah? For sure, that's not even a question, it's just that--"

"What I've been doing this far hasn't worked." Barry gestured towards the cage. "I'm just trying to get this done."

"I don't give a shit, you can't just--you have to--" Taako looked towards the cage. Kravitz' movements got a little more frantic inside, still too afraid to touch the bars but aware of the scene around him. "Switch him back and let him go. Now."

"Taako, uh, listen, I'm all for letting the guy go, _not totally a huge fan of you doing that, Barry,"_ Lup said, and ran over to the table, "but Kravitz knows we're hostile now."

"So?"

"We can't--he knows our faces, now." She frowned. "And he knows our ship. He knows _Davenport and Lucretia."_

"I actually agree with Barry." Davenport straightened his shoulders and puffed his mustache out. "If we can't get the Light this year, I think he should work on getting Kravitz to remember things. We could use an extra set of hands on the ship."

"I, um, also agree with Barry." Lucretia couldn't look Taako in the eye as she spoke. "I think this is a very...delicate situation, and we need all the advantages we can get. The end justifies the means on this one."

Taako rolled his eyes. "Yeah, uh, cool that you think that, but still doesn't change the fact that Kravitz could fucking _die_ here!"

"I told you the cage is safe!" Barry threw his hands up in the air, circled the table.

"You _don't know that!"_ Taako followed him, chased Barry around the table. "And, fuck, even if it is safe, you can't--you can't just keep my boyfriend in a cage."

Barry turned around and met Taako head on. "He's kept you in a _bunch_ of cages!"

"Not on purpose!" Taako waved his hands around wildly, completely infuriated. He didn't care how he looked or how insane he sounded, didn't pay any mind to the high-pitched octave his voice locked itself into. He thought he heard the rest of the crew try to speak, to break up the fight, but he ignored that, too. "Half'a those times, his fucking goddess made him do it!"

"What about the other half?"

"Dude just likes his job, that's not my fault!" Taako _definitely_ heard Lup cry out for the two of them to cut it out, or something along those lines, but he was too far gone to give a shit.

"His job, as in to _kill_ you?" Barry snapped, the two of them inches apart. Ready to go at each other's throats at a moment's notice. "What happens if we defeat the Hunger and then have to go get reaped immediately?"

That stopped Taako for a moment, but he shook his head and ignored it. Barry wasn't going to get him there. Nope, Taako ignored that bait. "I--shut the fuck up, Barry, you can't just--bring that out right now!" He slammed his palm on the table, all the background noise and chatter from the crew silenced in a second. "The fact is, you shoved my boyfriend in a fucking cage, _against his will--"_

"He _told me_ to do that!" Barry shouted, and then immediately recoiled backwards. Put a hand over his mouth like he could put his words back in his own mouth.

The only sound Taako could hear was the ambient noise of the lights buzzing.

"He--" Taako couldn't think, his whole brain scrambled in an instant. "What?"

"In one of the letters he wrote to me, when you were dead," Barry explained, calmer now, slower. More careful. "He told me to do that."

All the fight left Taako, replaced with confusion. "To lock him up and--and poke at him?"

"I can prove it." Barry held out a hand, cautious and yielding. He walked out of the common room with little resistance, everyone curious to see what the fuck kind of proof he had. A minute later, he came back out of his room with a letter in his hands, folded it over so that a single paragraph showed. "Here."

_I don't think what we're doing is working. We don't have time to keep making mistakes like this, especially when you can only get your hands on my soul once every two or three years. I would like to try and speed things up a little bit. I don't know what you can do on your end, but if you find an opportunity to capture me--don't tell Taako, I think that would freak him out, but as long as you don't harm my soul, I would be alright with you going to more extreme lengths. I want to make this as easy as possible for you to figure out._

Taako stared at the letter for an uncertain amount of time. He felt Lup look over his shoulder to inspect the letter, heard her breath of surprise, but couldn't focus on anything outside the writing on the paper. He handed it back off to Barry, his whole thoughts thrown off. "I just--" His voice went into a whine, less angry and more frustrated. "You can't fucking do this."

Barry handed the letter off to Davenport and Lucretia for inspection. "Why not?"

"You can't just--it's not _okay_ to just-- _keep him_ here and alter his fucking memories against his will. I don't--he doesn't _know_ he gave you permission right now." Taako hated how meek he sounded, but couldn't stop those feelings from rushing through him. It was all too familiar of a feeling, seeing Kravitz trapped with his soul in danger. He'd done that before, and there was _no_ way he could be okay with putting Kravitz through the same thing, no matter how many letters the guy wrote as consent. "That's--you can't just--it's fine if you do that when he's--fuckin'-- _friendly,_ but, you can't." He took in a breath, hoping it would stabilize his voice. It didn't. If anything, it made it worse. "You can't do it while he's trapped."

Finally, Barry saw the fear in Taako, but he didn't look like he would back down. If anything, he was emboldened to keep going, to try and convince Taako to take his side. "Taako, I--"

"Barry," Lup interrupted. She stood right in front of Barry, one hand open and expecting. "Manual to open the cage. C'mon."

"What?"

"You've got some kind of manual or instructions to open the cage, right? You write down everything." She pushed her hand forward, asked for the manual again. "Hand it over."

For a moment, Barry geared up to defend himself again. But Lup was insistent and he could read the room, so he ran into the lab. He came back with one of his lab notebooks and tore out one of the pages. Lup snatched it from him.

Lup folded the paper into Taako's hand, and then picked the cage off the table and laid it in Taako's arms."Take him away from the ship before you crack this cold one open."

"Yeah, fuckin'--will do." Taako glared at the rest of the crew--Davenport looked like he had something to say, but Lucretia quietly reminded him to read the room. "Put up the better wards and park the ship somewhere else, he'll probably come for you after I let him go."

"Sorry, Taako." Lup hugged him. "See you next year?"

"Yeah." Taako squeezed back quickly, but turned his attention to Barry within a few seconds. "Don't fucking do that again, Barry."

"Y-yeah. Got it." Now that he wasn't yelling, Barry acted a lot more meek. He hung his head low, apologetic. "Sorry."

"'S fine..." Taako let out a big, overdramatic sigh. Sure, he was pissed off beyond reason, but. Damn it, he couldn't stop thinking of Barry as his brother. He'd give him an earful later. Didn't have the energy for that at the moment. "You're on thin fucking ice, though."

"I assumed as much."

"You can't just _let him g--"_   Davenport started to say, but backed down after Lup shot a glare in his direction. Taako imagined that she'd fill them in on a few of Taako's issues with the whole memory thing while he was gone. He wasn't a fan of them knowing all that much, but if it would stop _this_ from happening again, maybe that was a good thing.

Without much else of a goodbye, Taako turned to leave the ship, off into the woods. He kept the cage under his arm, tried to keep it steady as possible so the bars wouldn't touch Kravitz. Taako didn't know how long he walked, but it had to be at least an hour. He murmured a few chastising words to Kravitz as he walked, knowing that he wouldn't have a clue what he was saying _now,_ but it'd get through to him soon enough.

Eventually, he came to a clearing and got too tired to keep walking. It looked a lot like the clearing he first met Kravitz in, lone tree stump at all (he remembered thinking he was going to die when he first met Kravitz. Now, he _knew_ he would die today). He knelt down in the grass and placed the cage on the ground. He read the instructions and twisted the knob on the cage, and then unlocked the bottom. He held it out so that Kravitz could float out safely. Kravitz hovered in front of him and then reformed into his skeletal form, now in full work uniform.

Fuck.

"Hey, hey, uh--" Taako held out both his hands. He expected Kravitz to make this business, but that didn't mean he couldn't try to plead for his life. "Tryin' to let you go, that's all."

"That really doesn't change the thirty-three deaths you have on your head." Kravitz' skull didn't have a lot of ways to show his emotion, but his voice was just a bit shaky. "And all the people on your ship, as well."

"Thirty-three? Huh, damn." Taako really felt like it should have been way lower than that. Maybe it would be if Kravitz didn't kill him every other year. "Whatever, you were the one that was hittin' on me," Taako said, blowing out a breath.

"Because I didn't know you had so many deaths on you!" Kravitz twisted his face in something that looked like regret, but Taako knew he was probably beating himself up for failing to identify a thirty-three time escapee of the Stockade. "And I get the feeling you're _perfectly_ aware that I'm going to take you away even though you decided to let me out. You can't complain that I'm doing my job."

"I mean, I think I can still complain." Taako shrugged. Tried to keep his all casual, even though he felt like he could fall apart at the drop of a hat. "Thought I had a shot at making a getaway here."

"No _fucking_ way." A large tome appeared in Kravitz' hands and floated in the air in front of him, pages turning wildly as he spoke. He searched for Taako's page. "This is the last time you walk the Material plane, I'll make sure of _that."_

"Come _on."_ Taako lolled his head back, let out an annoyed groan like a petulant teenager. "I let you go!"

"Why does that matter?" Kravitz argued while he watched the pages of his magic book flip in front of him. Completely committed to his job at every moment. What a workaholic. "I still have to do my job!"

"Just--look the other way, maybe?"

"I can't just _look the other way,_ I'm bound to my goddess." Kravitz decided the auto-flipping wasn't good enough, and looked through the pages of his ledger manually. "And if I don't capture you, someone else will."

Taako shrugged. "Hey, I can keep myself hidden."

"If you're so sure of yourself, why did you even let me out, then?" Kravitz did the closest equivalent of rolling his eyes as a skeleton as he found a page in the book that caught his interest. "You don't get to complain about me doing my job when you've _released me."_

"I, uh--" Taako reached for the brim of his hat and realized he left it on the ship. _Fuck._ Didn't even have something to hold onto. "Just. Couldn't stand looking at that. At you like that."

"Thirty-three counts of escapes from the Stockade, and you're bothered by the sight of a caged soul?" Kravitz finally took his eyes off his book, and the pages slowed once his attention left them. He watched Taako with curiosity, tilted his head to the side. "I have to say, that's a new one."

"What can I say? I'm, uh, I'm like--a representative of, uh, soul PETA." He flashed a nervous grin, tried to shove his fears away and replace them with something that would make better podcast audio. That usually worked in his favor, maybe it'd get him some points here. "But, like, smarter. Y'know. If that makes any sense."

Kravitz did laugh at that, along with some undignified snorts and wheezes. Slowly, like he wasn't even registering it happening, his skin formed over his skeletal form. "Soul PETA? Wouldn't that be PETS?"

"Oh holy shit, it _would_ be PETS." Taako grinned, eyes all lit up once he realized that Kravitz would play along with him. "D'you think they'd still have the campaigns where they tie up people in cages out in front'a grocery stores?"

"Oh, _hell no,"_   Kravitz said, having to wipe a tear from his eye from the force he laughed at. His book tossed to the side, still levitated in the air, but forgotten. "I can't even imagine that."

"Maybe I should go out and shrink-wrap myself to look like a butcher's cut and lay down in the deli aisle," Taako continued, stepped forward. Hey, maybe this would work. He didn't know _why_ it would work, because he was pretty sure PETA didn't exist in this reality (how would Kravitz know what that was?) but he wasn't going to look a gift horse in the ass. Cared more about the results of not getting thrown in jail than he was worried about the exact road that would lead him away from the Stockade.

 _"Hell no,_ you don't--" Kravitz froze for half a second, his form hiccuping, but picked back up fairly quickly, "--you don't, uh, look like you'd enjoy something like that?"

"I, uh, I wouldn't," he admitted, and that was true. He was a bit of a performer, but shrink wrapping his naked body to put in public was. Uh. Nope, nopenopenope. The thought of it made him want to put on an extra robe or five. "Am I that easy to read, m'man?"

"I read souls for a living." Kravitz made a face that looked a lot like he sucked on a raw lemon. "Or for a death-ing."

Taako wheezed out a laugh. Fuck, he loved this dude. Wished he wasn't trying to kill him and also wished he remembered him, but hey. He had to take what he could get. And, he guessed, what he got was very small, because Kravitz' smile faded away and his form melted back into a skeleton.

"I still have to reap you, you know." His book levitated back into its normal position, its pages flipping rapidly once more. "You seem to be aware that this _is_ my job, and I'm going to do it."

"You don't have to," Taako said, and took a step backwards. Maybe he could just--run away? Turn invisible? No, Kravitz had true sight on at most times. If Taako showed any sign of running away or physically resisting arrest, things could work out worse for him.

"That's the thing." Kravitz didn't have the lips to frown, but his skull sure looked displeased with Taako. "I _do_ have to. It's my only reason for existing."

Taako put both hands on his hips and tilted his head. "Is it?"

That seemed to get Kravitz' attention away from the book again. "What?"

"Like, for real, is that the only thing?" Taako lazily pointed his finger up and down Kravitz' form, and then pinched his fingers to squish his head (y'know, to look bored). "'Cause, like, you seem like a person. No--not just, some kind of, fuckin', death robot."

"That's not what I'd call myself, but I am...I do just have the one function." He clutched his scythe tighter. Not out of anger, but out of nerves. "And you're not going to stop me from doing it."

"Can you catch me a break?" Taako tore down his disinterested act. Fine. That didn't work and Kravitz knew his bullshit tactics even when he didn't remember. Great! Now he was just frustrated. "You were going to-augh, yo-you were going to _die_ if I didn't do anything!"

"So?"

"So, maybe you should--I dunno, not kill me as thanks?" Taako waved his arms around like there was an imaginary Fantasy Quizno's sign twirling around him, inviting customers to come inside (and failing to show where the Quizno's entrance would be). "How's that sound?"

"Wh--no, no, I can't--I can't just _do_ that, I don't have that authority--" Kravitz' bone hand reached up to pinch his nose, but since he didn't have a nose as a skeleton, he just kind of slid a finger into the little ridge where his sinuses would start. "Here's an idea: how about you just come die? Huh? How's that sound?" Kravitz left a pause there for dramatic effect and scoffed. "Not good, it seems, by the look on your face. I feel the same way about lettin' you go."

"Are you just--fuckin'--completely unbothered by the shit I bailed you out of?" Taako heard his voice raising, but didn't do anything to control it. Fuck it, he was upset and he was going to show that. "Barry kept you in a _cage."_

"Because I _told him to!"_  Kravitz stopped, frozen for just a moment. He stuttered through his words, unsure of himself. "That's--I mean--that's what he said. In. The..." Slowly, his skin knit back together. He wore a look of pure terror, simulating a few panicked breaths. "On the ship. He. Said that. Didn't he?"

"He did." Taako squinted, watched Kravitz carefully. "Have you seen Barry before?"

"I--" Kravitz' eyes widened, and he stumbled backwards, scythe still in hand. "This is a very, uh, sophisticated trick you're--uh." 

Kravitz stalled like a frozen computer. Looked straight ahead in Taako's direction, but through him. His ears lowered as far down as they could go, sheer horror plastered all over his face. Taako had never seen this before. It was like the small contradictions Kravitz ran into, but dialed up to eleven. His soul didn't look like it knew what to do with whatever information swam in his mind. Taako had a few thoughts about what was going on, but he didn't have concrete evidence yet.

Taako stepped forward, allowing himself to hope. "Kravitz?"

"I _just--"_  He clutched his scythe like a lifeline. Refused to look Taako in the eye. "Please let me do my job."

"Have you seen me before?" Taako asked, insistent.

"I don't know." Kravitz shook his head slowly, eyes to the ground. Spoke in the voice he always had when his brain ran into two conflicting statements. Except, this time, he didn't immediately come up with a bullshit way to fill in the holes. His floating book slapped shut and he doubled backwards. "I don't know, I saw you at the--at the market."

He stepped closer, a few feet away from Kravitz. "Before that."

"I'm not--I don't--" Kravitz dispelled his scythe and stormed away a few feet, clutching his head. "I don't know what the _fuck_ your friend did to me."

"Huh?"

"Just. Made my head hurt." He sat on the tree stump, slumped over. Muttered curses to himself, curled in on himself. Whatever Barry did to him looked painful. Taako would have _words_   with him later.

Taako hesitated, but stood behind Kravitz. He placed a hand on his back, spoke lowly. "You okay?"

"Yeah. Yeah, just." Kravitz let out a shuddering sigh. "Had kind of a shock, there."

"I'm going to kill Barry for the fuckin'--cage wards," Taako hissed through his teeth. But then he saw Kravitz here, knew he needed to comfort the dude instead of cursing Barry's name again. He could do that later, and by the time he got back to Barry, he'd probably have a written apology prepared. Instead, Taako focused on his hurting not-boyfriend in front of him. "Do you, uh. Remember anything?"

"Remember--no, not anything new." Kravitz shook his head slowly, spoke slowly, bleary and confused. "I mean, it does kind of--it feels like I'm missing something?"

Taako wanted to say _you aren't missing anything, I'm right here,_ but knew that would just confuse the poor guy more. Kravitz wasn't trying to actively reap him, so he just rubbed slow circles in his back, tried to be as comforting as possible. It was almost nice, except Taako stayed on edge, knowing Kravitz could summon his scythe and take him at any moment. Except he didn't. He just sat there, head in his hands, complained about his splitting headache.

They both sat there for a long time. Kravitz didn't do anything but shudder under Taako's hands. He distantly thought that he should force Barry to apologize to him too, once Kravitz remembered it all. Even if Kravitz asked for this, he had no clue what it was in the moment. And who knew what exactly Barry did to him during his experiments? Taako could only hope that he didn't irreparably damage Kravitz' soul. But, it didn't last forever. Kravitz stirred after what felt like half an hour, finally stabilizing.

When Kravitz looked up at Taako, his eyes shined for just a moment.

He scrambled to his feet, summoned his scythe. Taako cursed to himself. Come _on._ He liked how dedicated his boyfriend was, it was cute, but did Kravitz _really_ have to cut him down? Not that Taako didn't expect this. He didn't have any delusions of Kravitz remembering him or letting him free. That wasn't how this plane worked. Necromancy was bad stuff here, and if Kravitz wasn't going to take him down, Taako knew that the Queen would just force his body to do it.

Taako looked away, just sort of. Resigned to his fate. He'd done this enough times to know that it didn't hurt if he stopped fighting.

But instead of a scythe, Kravitz reached his hand out in front of Taako.

"Come on," he said, an invitation. Taako took Kravitz' hand and he helped him off of the tree stump, so they were both at their feet. Kravitz looked at him head to toe, and sighed. "I'm going to turn around. When I look in that direction again, you better be gone."

Taako stood at attention. Didn't expect that at all. Not that he was complaining. He nodded once. "Okay."

Kravitz took in a breath and reached forward to squeeze Taako's arm. "And if I see you or any of your friends again this year, I will take them."

"Got it," he said. distracted by the physical contact.

"You better keep the strong wards up on that ship of yours." Kravitz let go of him, stepped backwards, made a big show of turning around.

"Ri-right." Taako wanted to ask a million more questions, but he had the feeling Kravitz wasn't in the position to answer any of them. Instead, he watched Kravitz' back.

"Wait, one more thing." Kravitz rushed back to Taako, looked him over one more time. He tipped Taako's chin up and kissed him, soft and warm and not like how a new Kravitz would kiss him. Taako stood there in a daze, unable to reciprocate properly before Kravitz pulled backwards and stepped away. "Just. For the road."

"Kravitz?" he asked, with wide eyes and a full heart.

"Just--context clues. That's it." Finally, Kravitz turned around. Gripped his scythe in his hand. Didn't make any moves to hurt Taako. "You should go."

"Do, uh--" Taako stepped closer to Kravitz. Was this dangerous? Yes. Did Taako care? Not even a fucking bit. He'd been through worse. "Do you know me?"

"Taako, I swear, if you stay here any longer I _will_ have to reap you," he said, but Taako could hear the smile in his voice. Something a lot fonder than he expected out of a new Kravitz.

He did want to stay behind and ask more questions, but he also didn't want to die. He recognized the urgency in Kravitz' voice, even if it was on the playful end. Kravitz wasn't kidding around with him. Taako knew it was time to make a retreat--he could get his answers later. He picked up the cage off the ground and shouted, "I'm _going!"_ in Kravitz' direction.

And then he ran.

* * *

On the eighth day before the Hunger, Taako stayed hunched over his stone. Prepared. Focused. Mercifully, everyone left him alone to prepare for his call. This was an important one. He had some things to ask Kravitz, had them all rehearsed. No time for pleasantries, he needed to know if Kravitz _knew him_ in that forest, why he wanted Barry to hurt him. Why he didn't tell Taako about that, in case he got in trouble. Hell, Barry could have let him know about this earlier, they didn't have to keep this a secret. Taako might have gotten a chance to help out if those two weren't hiding things.

Right as he thought Kravitz wouldn't call, the stone glowed. Taako pressed on the glow immediately, needing all the precious seconds he could to talk to his boyfriend.

Kravitz' voice came through, hesitant and careful. "Taako, hey--"

"What was that? In the forest?" Taako cut right to the chase. He had a limited amount of time, he needed to get answers, quick. "Did you remem--"

"No, I didn't. I, um, was just very, uh." Kravitz paused just a tad too long, wasting precious seconds Taako could have used to ask him more questions. He couldn't be too angry, though, since he sounded so exhausted. "It was disorientating. Got a lot of mixed signals pumped into my brain, there."

That sounded kind of fake, but Taako let it slide. Kravitz had no reason to lie. If he really did remember everything, he'd probably be babbling nonstop to Taako about it. Or, at least, Taako hoped so. "I gave Barry an earful."

"He was just trying to help." 

"Listen, if you're going to give Barry permission to fuckin'--imprison you, that's great, but--" Taako made a few noises in frustration, and purposefully ignored Kravitz' soft laughter on the other end. This was _serious._ "Uh, let a guy know first, okay?"

The enjoyment sapped out of Kravitz' voice. "I, um, I'm sorry I didn't tell you about our arrangement. I didn't want to scare you." He paused for longer than Taako would have liked (he wanted to _talk,_ damn it, he only had ten minutes). "Speaking of Barry, I--I know we didn't get a lot of time this year, but can you hand the stone over to him?"

"Oh." Taako couldn't try to hide his disappointment. Barely two minutes into their conversation and Kravitz wanted to bail? "I--I guess."

"It's fine if you don't, I, uh, can wait until there's a year where you die--"

"No, hold on." Reluctantly, Taako lifted himself off the bed and walked down the hall. He kicked down Barry's door and rushed through. "Barry!"

Barry woke up from his desk--dude fell asleep doing calculations? How long was he working on...whatever the fuck was on that paper? Looked like some advanced necromancy shit that wasn't even in the same ballpark as Taako's league. "Oh, uh, Taako, I--"

"Kravitz wants to talk to you," he said, and dropped the stone in Barry's hands.

"Huh." Barry kept his eyes on Taako and lifted the stone suspiciously to his mouth. "Hey, Kravitz, how are things?"

"A little stressful this year." He chuckled. Barry wilted (he spent a lot of time guilty that year--if Taako wasn't so fond of the guy, he'd say he deserved it). "Is Taako still in the room?"

"Yeah, I'm here." Taako waved, even though Kravitz couldn't see.

"Uh--Taako, I--don't want to kick you out, but. I, uh." Kravitz' voice came out guilty, and the words made Taako's heart sink into the ground. "I kind of need to speak to Barry in private."

"Super fucking suspicious, but I'll allow it." Taako leaned in close to the stone, hid the fear and distress bubbling up under the surface of his throat. "Love you."

"Love you, too." The stone glowed in Barry's hands, pulsing light in a way that came to be a comfort for Taako. "I'll see you soon, Taako."

"Yeah." Taako smiled, until his eyes met Barry's, who had the smuggest look on his face. Taako backed up to exit the room, a threatening finger pointed at Barry. "Don't do anything stupid."

"I won't," Barry said, with a chuckle. He waited until Taako had his hand on the door before he spoke again. "He's leaving."

Kravitz' whole demeanor changed, a lot more determined and serious. "Alright, you'll want to get out some paper for this one--"

Taako shut the door.

He knew the two of them were probably talking about something important. Hell, maybe Kravitz had good news for Barry's research. But it still put a sour taste in his mouth. He only got ten minutes with the guy, was it too much to ask to get all those ten minutes? Taako tried to keep himself chill, because it was probably fine, but. He really did hate this. The whole situation in general. The whole thing with the cage and Kravitz' wishes for Barry to get more reckless were just irritants on an already aggravated wound. He just wanted Kravitz.

He sulked over to Lup's room. Maybe she'd help knock some sense into his skull.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I've officially ran out of backlog here (damn you, traveling!!!!) so there's about a 40% chance that next chapter or the chapter after will be postponed for a week (because uhhhh......the next two chapters are Long and Important and i don't want to rush them just to get updates out). if i have to postpone, sorry! but i'm not really guilty about it because i woke up travelsick this morning and i've never missed an update before on this fic! also i was planning on posting double updates towards the end so that'll probably make up for it. sorry in advance if something happens!
> 
> [EDIT: YES, NEXT CHAPTER WILL BE A WEEK LATE! i got food poisoning and then had a panic attack so. really did not have time to write the next chapter after all that. it'll be back up next week, sorry! thanks for your patience!]
> 
> next time is the hamster world! :) :) :)


	17. Cycle 73

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Barry does some hacking. Taako enters the shittiest hotel room in the universe. Kravitz blows up.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> okay so this chapter is going up a little early because 1. there was no chapter last week (i was VERY SICK) and 2. it's....20 thousand words. this is a long one! whoops! 
> 
> anyway, this is another one of those chapters that's more mature than the others, nothing happens in the chapter but they talk about and reference sex. i guess that lets you know that this is going to be a good year? whoops, haha

Cycle seventy-three was just. _Ughhh._

Listen. _Listen._ Taako was not incapable of physical labor. He could lift an overstuffed spell component bag over his shoulder, could swing a shortsword in an emergency, could hike for a few hours in the wilderness without completely beefing it. Taako wouldn't have survived so long on the road if he and Lup couldn't hold their own in a caravan. It didn't take a lot of muscle to haul pots and pans around a kitchen, to drain the blood out of a deer so they could cure and sell the meat as something fancier, but it took _some_ strength. Taako didn't have wet noodles for arms, but he wasn't _Magnus fucking Burnsides._

Also, that didn't mean he _liked_ to exert any more force than necessary to get his shit done. Again, they had Magnus on the ship for a reason, it wasn't Taako's job to haul ass. If someone else is there to lift a box, Taako's not lifting _shit._ He'll hang back, thank you, and pretend that he's doing project management or something that's equally bullshit.

Which meant that this cycle was, in fact, _the worst._

Two main modes of transportation: giant hamster balls and giant plastic tubes. Neither of which allow someone to just _hang back_ and enjoy the ride. And, sure, _fine,_ they could fly the Starblaster to get around, but that only helped them get from continent to continent, or from town to town. The bustling metropolis of plastic hamster equipment didn't allow for ample landing space. So Taako broke a sweat a lot more often than he'd wanted to.

It wasn't even like he was out of shape, his body got reset at the beginning of every year, and he had just finished doing intense spaceflight physical training before they blasted off. But, again, he wasn't like Magnus. Hell, he wasn't even like _Lucretia._ Sure, he had a little bit of extra weight from finally having steady meals at the Institute, but that didn't carry over into muscle mass or whatever (and, if he was being honest, he was glad that he and Lup weren't goddamn sticks for this infinite looping body hack--helped him feel like this wasn't just another extension of their shitty childhood). He _could_ travel in giant hamster balls and plastic tubes for the year, but his brain told him to go crawl into bed and not participate. Could he be mentally out of shape? Was that a thing? Taako was starting to think that could be a thing, or at least he was _making_ it a thing.

It wouldn't be so bad if Lup didn't try to get him outside every five seconds, either. She claimed it would help him think clearer. He had the feeling she was wrong--he could only think about his screaming calves as he crawled through a neon green tube in the middle of the day. They landed on this plane in the middle of summer, which, _unfair!_ Even more unfair! Could he catch a _fucking break_ on this plane? If Kravitz showed up to kill them, Taako would probably bust a nut.

Bust a nut in the angry way. Not the horny way.

Taako pushed himself out of the plastic tube and jumped down the rest of the way to the ground. _Ugh._ Why'd this plane have to be so physically exhausting? He needed to get back to the ship and take a long, hot shower. Get some of the soreness in his back pushed out. Did he need a new mattress? He needed a new mattress. Hadn't replaced his in twenty years, which was long past that fucker's warranty. But he held off. Davenport talked about allowing some renovations on the ship, and if Taako had to shuffle his shit around for changes, he wasn't going to move it twice. And the renovations were Lup's fault anyway--she and Barry had some plan to knock walls down between their rooms to make a larger one for the two of them, which Davenport _somehow_ supported. She told him she'd give him her good mattress afterwards, because her and Barry would need a double bed anyway, after the renovations.

Maybe he'd steal her bed today. He needed a nap, and was not jived to take it on his rickety mattress.

He walked into the Starblaster and found Kravitz, Barry, and Magnus in the common room.

Taako hadn't seen Kravitz this year yet, so he took a minute to marvel at the sight. A human, which was one of his more common forms. Had a little bit of weight to him, softer with maximum cuddling potential. No fancy bounty hunter cloak or anything, but his scythe sat behind the couch, directly behind him but still within reach. Looking at him like this, all comfortable in the common room with two of his friends, made Taako want to go after him again. Kravitz hadn't been friendly in _years,_ not since cycle sixty-six (sixty-nine did _not_ count). But, as Taako was about to approach the scene and flirt his way into his boyfriend's heart, he realized how exhausting that actually sounded. No, not this year. Too bad.

"Oh, dunk, is this Death?" Taako tapped his toe on the scythe, laid his arm on the back of the couch behind Kravitz. He still had no intention of dating him when he didn't remember shit, but it was fun to tease the guy.

Kravitz took one look at Taako and short-circuited. The highest form of compliment an incomplete Kravitz could give him. He set his stack of cards down on the table, and Taako watched as Magnus used the distraction to cheat and look at his cards. Taako smiled at Kravitz, but couldn't muster up the ability to make it look genuine.

"Yeah, he is," Barry said, and Taako could only pick out the stiffness in his voice because he'd known the guy for so long. Seemed like the crew was getting just as tired of pretending not to know Kravitz as Taako was. "Kravitz, this is Taako. He's Lup's brother, the other arcanist."

"Oh." Kravitz did his best not to stare, but Taako saw right through that. He reached a hand over the couch for Taako to shake. "Well, it's very nice to meet you."

He purposefully did not shake Kravitz' hand, chose to haze the poor guy instead. "Did you mistake me for her?" Taako looked down at his robes, so thick that he swam in them. "'Cause that'd be a pretty impressive costume change, on her end."

"No, you don't look that much alike." Kravitz gestured around his face, didn't stumble over his words as much as Taako would have liked. "Or--well, you do, in the face, but that's about where the similarities end."

"Correct answer," Taako said, and gave Kravitz a stiff pat on the shoulder. He held back a grin when Kravitz froze up from the contact. "So what's Death doing in this neck of the woods?" Taako didn't like to play dumb, but. That was where he was at. All the time. Fuck, he wished he could just hand Kravitz a Fantasy Sparknotes page of what happened. "We do something wrong?"

"Well, it depends on what you consider _wrong,"_  Kravitz said. He took an extended look at the center of Taako's chest and recoiled, just a bit. He looked back up at Taako, concerned. "My, that's--uh, that's a lot of--you've escaped from the Astral plane thirty-six times?"

Whoops, he must have. Last year was the third year in a row Kravitz took him away. He could have been more careful, sure, but after year sixty-nine's suspiciously nice Kravitz, Taako had hoped he finally remembered something. But three years in a row without anything? No, that must have been a glitch or a fluke. He dropped that line of thought.

"Yeah, I'm a natural fuckin' Fantasy Houdini." Taako gestured to the table full of cards, eyebrows up. "What, is this some kinda gamble for our souls?"

"No, no, I'm not--taking you away. Necromancy is perfectly legal here, but your friend was working on some very interesting things." Kravitz reached to pick up his cards again, not noticing that Magus slipped one of his cards out during his conversation with Taako. "Just thought I'd pop in to take a look."

Barry waved his hand of cards in the air. "And then we started playing cards."

"And Magnus is here because...?"

Magnus smiled. "Got bored!"

"Right." Taako gave a firm pat to the back of the couch twice and straightened up. "Well, fellas, the hull bathroom's gonna be occupied for a little while. I think I threw out my fuckin' back trying to climb through an L pipe."

"Don't use all the hot water." Magnus kept his eyes on his cards, tongue poking slightly out of the corner of his mouth.

With a snort, Taako walked backwards out of the room. "Oh, dude, you know I'm gonna make myself into a delicious little bouillon with all the steam that's gonna be comin' out of the bathroom."

"I'm gonna flush the toilet," Magnus said, hand in a fist and a sparkle in his eye that made him look like a kid.

Taako ducked back into the common room and pointed a menacing finger at Magnus. "If you flush the toilet, you're banned from the kitchen for a _decade."_

"No!" Magnus flinched, squirmed in his seat impatiently. Taako ran out the room again, barely hearing wails of laughter out of Kravitz and Barry as he made his way to the shower.

* * *

The whole crew handled Taako with kid gloves. 

He wasn't sure why. They all teamed up to make sure Taako didn't...do _something._   Taako didn't have an idea of what, since they were so secretive. Davenport told him not to worry about work for the year (as if Taako would anyway) and Barry locked him out of the lab. Lup also stopped him from performing any lab heists. Magnus, Merle, and Lucretia kept distracting him. Even Kravitz walked past him with hurried steps whenever they happened to land in the same room.

And, like, Taako didn't want to date him anyway, but what the hell did he do to scare the guy off? He'd barely seen him for ten minutes out of the whole month so far. Usually Kravitz would be trying to talk to Taako at every opportunity, not shy away from him like that. Taako assumed Lup put him in his place. She'd do that sometimes, when Taako really felt iffy about talking to the guy. But he did have questions this year, and Kravitz didn't look too pleased to answer any of them.

About a month after Kravitz came to visit for the first time, Lup barged into Taako's room. This was normal, especially since it was near the time they should have started dinner, but she didn't seem to have any intentions to cook. Without any words, she grabbed Taako's arm and dragged him out of his room.

"Hey, what--" Taako pulled on her arm. "What the fuck is this?"

Lup turned around and hugged him quick, then pulled on his arm again. "It's a surprise. Come on."

Taako groaned and followed her. He wasn't the biggest fan of surprises, would much rather know what was going on in advance. This felt more serious than a regular surprise, too. Nerve-wracking. Lucretia watched him through a crack in the door, and Magnus was a lot quieter than he should have been. A crew-wide surprise. Nope, no, Taako already hated it, whatever it was. Couldn't be good.

"Wait right here," she said, and threw him on the couch with a thud. He wanted to complain, but she ran off to the lab before he could get any words out.

Taako stayed on the couch. Like hell he was going to move and piss off his sister. Still, all of this was hella suspicious. The crew needed to stop doing whatever the fuck this was, it just tired him out. Within a few minutes, Magnus and Merle came to sit and chat with him, deflected any questions Taako asked about Lup's behavior. Lucretia and Davenport popped in a little later, not-so-subtly kept all their eyes on Taako. He started to think that there wasn't any surprise, that Lup just decided to take him out of his room and force him into social interaction. This wasn't the beginning of the mission, he didn't _have_ a problem communicating with the rest of the crew. As far as he was concerned, they were the only people that actually mattered. Lup didn't need to force him out of his space to talk to them.

About forty five minutes after Lup stuck him on the couch, the lab door opened. Kravitz peeked his head through and watched Taako.

"Oh, hey." _Geez,_ great. They got Kravitz in on this, too? Dude didn't know the first thing about Taako, he couldn't pull off a good surprise. God, this was going to be awful. Even so, Taako put on a lazy smile and pretended like things were normal. "Got something to say, man? Not a big fan of getting--uh, stared at."

Kravitz stood in the doorway for a few moments, dumbstruck. He ran into the room and sat down next to Taako, crashed him in a hug. His head dropped into Taako's shoulder, and all he could say was, "Taako, it's me," muffled in his red jacket.

Taako froze up. "Uh, yeah? I, um. Y'know, the, uh, emissary for the Raven Queen, I..."

"No, that's." Kravitz dug his head out of his shoulder and held Taako's face in his hands, smiling. "Well, _yes,_ but, more than that."

"Wait--" Taako's thoughts caught up to himself and he stared at Kravitz, wide-eyed. "You--know me?"

"Yeah." Kravitz smiled, about two seconds away from crying. "Taako, I--"

Kravitz couldn't even finish his sentence before Taako kissed him. He couldn't care less about public displays of affection at the moment, could ignore Merle's wolf whistles and Magnus' thunderous applause. As far as he was concerned, Kravitz was the only person in the room. Kravitz didn't skip a beat, pulled Taako close and kissed him just as he always did at the end of the years they shared together. It was good, and perfect, and Taako would keep Kravitz this close forever if he was able to.

But then, Taako remembered their time limit, and pulled back. "Damn, uh, if we only have ten minutes--"

"It's more than ten minutes." Kravitz wiped his eyes with the palm of his hand, beaming and crying and overjoyed. "Barry and Lup did this half an hour ago. We wanted to make sure it would stick."

"More than ten minutes?" Taako reached up to wipe the rest of the wetness from Kravitz' cheeks, too awestruck to understand the full extent of his boyfriend's words. "How, uh--how long is that?"

"As far as we know, until the end of the year."

"Oh." Taako's brain screeched to a halt. He wasn't even sure how to _process_ that. He couldn't stop the gross smile that formed on his face and he couldn't resist the urge to reach forward and squeeze both of Kravitz' hands. He let the words wash over him, didn't allow them to sit in his skull for too long yet. All he could do was squeak out a strained, "cool."

Kravitz pushed forward to hug him. Taako rested his chin on his shoulder, started to wade through all his thoughts that could bring him to the right conclusion. This was Kravitz. _His_ Kravitz. The one that knew everything. He remembered, and he would be here for the whole year. Taako stopped himself from launching into a long string of embarrassing words in front of the crew, but it was a close call. Like a dam at full capacity, he felt a wave of overflowing emotions press against the container where he normally bottled things up.

Lup and Barry stood in the doorway of the lab. Both watched the reunion with warm smiles, and Taako couldn't hide the one he still wore. He looked off to the side and saw the rest of the crew watch them with varying reactions. Magnus bawled his eyes out. Merle tried to look unimpressed but failed. Lucretia wrote it all down with misty eyes, and Davenport couldn't hold back his smile. Taako ejected himself out of Kravitz' arms. Fuck. He was not a fan of public displays of affection, even to the crew. Nobody needed to see that. Still kept close to his boyfriend, but didn't want to go too overboard. Had a brand to maintain. Kravitz didn't look too put out as Taako pulled back. He kept one hand on Taako's at all times, but didn't pressure him to act a certain way in front of the crew.

"Thank you," Kravitz said to Lup and Barry, once they both took their seats. He turned his head to the rest of the crew. "And it's nice to meet all of you again, but--um, in my right mind."

Merle spoke first, irreverent in every aspect of his life. "Want to play Euchre?"

"Hell no."

Magnus shoved Merle with his foot, eyes glued to Taako and Kravitz. God, Magnus needed to tone it down eight notches. "Shut up, Merle, you're ruining the moment."

Lucretia leaned forward with bright eyes, curious. "So, Kravitz, how do you fe--"

"Ugh, I didn't spend fuck-knows how long trying to resurrect Taako's boyfriend's memories for all of you to hog the dude." Lup shot a glare at the reunited couple. "If the two of you don't leave in the next thirty seconds, I'm busting so many nuts."

Barry rolled his eyes. "Do you have to keep saying it like that?"

"Well, Lup, we're going to need a long conversation with Kravitz," Davenport said, carefully and afraid that Lup would pop. She opened her mouth to go off, but he put a hand up and smiled at Kravitz and Taako. "But I don't see the harm in postponing that for...maybe, a day?"

Kravitz pushed his shoulders up, more meek than the guy had any right to be. This was his circle of friends as much as it was Taako's. "That's very generous of you, but if you need to speak with me--"

"I know you have somewhere you'd rather be." Davenport offered him a great big smile, a rarity from the captain. "We all talked it over, you deserve a little time."

"Thank you." Kravitz turned to speak to Taako, hand on his arm. "Taako, do you want--"

"Whatever it is, yeah, let me--hold on, I'm not doing this in uniform--" Taako practically fell out of his seat. Kravitz held him steady, chuckled at his enthusiasm. Taako balanced himself and made his way to the hall, but stopped for a moment at Barry and Lup's seat. "Hey, uh. Thanks," he blurted out, waited half a second to see them both nod and shoo him away, and ran into his room.

He heard Kravitz laugh behind him and walked faster, needed to get in private with the guy as fast as possible. Overflowed with strong emotions. Needed to get them out as fast as possible. As soon as they were in his room and Kravitz shut the door, Taako moved to kiss the breath out of him, pressed him against the wall. To the guy's credit, he didn't miss a beat. Kissed Taako back, ran fingers through his hair, pulled him close. Neither of them felt guilty for wasting their time kissing instead of talking because they _had_ time. More than they ever had before.

And it was amazing, to just. Have Kravitz there. Real Kravitz. A Kravitz that knew him, that he didn't have to dance around and pretend he didn't know, that he could run up and kiss without any issue. Taako hadn't dated him in sincerity since the cycle where he could scan his memories, hadn't kissed him since the weirdness in the forest four years prior, so. He _might_ have been overly emotional and pent up. Not his fault. Not like Kravitz cared, either, the dude cried his eyes out in the common room five minutes ago. They could talk later. Right now, they both needed some good ol' contact.

Eventually, though, Kravitz tried to pull away to speak again. Taako wasn't going to have any of that, no thank you, he needed more time like this. Still, his boyfriend's self restraint was admirable--Taako didn't know if he'd ever have the strength to push him away when they were both willing.

Kravitz spoke in between Taako's breaths. "Taako--"

No, nope, Kravitz wasn't going to do this. Taako didn't sense any discomfort in the guy's voice, just a halfhearted attempt to get the two of them back on topic. And, like, _sure._ Taako wanted to talk to him. But at the same time, he didn't. If Kravitz genuinely wanted Taako off of him, he'd pull back without any issue. But Kravitz wasn't showing any of his signs, still held Taako close to him like he was afraid he'd slip through his fingers if he let go.

After a few more minutes, Kravitz laughed against Taako's lips, voice still teasing and light. "Taako, come on--"

Finally, Taako pulled back to pout at Kravitz. Kravitz let out a low chuckle and moved a piece of hair behind Taako's ear. Taako was sure he had the dumbest look on his face but couldn't bring himself to care. Kravitz had seen this all before, and he'd probably see more by the end of the day, so whatever. He could loosen the brand a bit when they were alone like this.

"You were supposed to be changing," he said, and failed miserably to make his words have any urgency at all.

"Changed my mind." Taako wrapped his arms around Kravitz and kissed him again. Because he had time to do that. They had so much time.

But, Kravitz was a party pooper and craned his neck away. "Fine, then you can go out to dinner with your uniform on."

"No, wait, uh--" Taako looked to his closet, which was only a couple feet away, but _fuck_ if he was going to move away from his boyfriend. He extended his arm towards his closet and whined. "Shit, I don't want to, uh, let you go."

Kravitz smiled and nuzzled his nose into Taako's neck. "I'm not leaving, I'll be right here."

"Yeah, uh, I know? But. Also." Thinking himself coy, he looped his thumbs through Kravitz' belt loops and leaned in close, pressed his wide grin on Kravitz' jaw in a futile attempt to kiss him there. "I could, uh, lock the door and I could. Show you how much I love you. Wink." Even though he said the word out loud, he didn't wink.

"Slow down, Taako." Kravitz smiled, not put off by the offer but not taking it immediately either. He held Taako by the shoulders and stepped backwards, put space in between the two. "It's, uh, an enticing offer, but. We've got time."

"I, uh--" Taako let his hands drop to Kravitz' waist and stared for a moment. Let silence fill the room. Stunned. He had more time with Kravitz, yeah, but exactly how much just sank into his brain. They didn't have to rush. "Guess we do."

"Go get dressed, let me take you out." He smiled, pressed a quick kiss to his cheek. "I want to talk."

And then, Taako went from calm to panicked in a matter of seconds. "Wh--you know that sounds, uh, super fucking terrifying, right?"

"I, um--not _talk,_ talk, there's nothing wrong, I--" Kravitz blew out a breath and let out a shaky laugh. "I meant, I just want to have a normal conversation with you. For more than ten minutes."

"That--sounds great." Taako's grin returned and he walked the two feet over to his closet to pick out suitable going out clothes. "Yeah, let's do that."

And it felt normal for Taako to rummage through his closet. To pick something oversized and gaudy to wear with Kravitz on the edge of his bed to offer comments. To just change out of his uniform right there without Kravitz averting his eyes out of modesty or staring at him like a horny teenager. For Kravitz to tuck in the tags of his shirt when he noticed them all stuck out, and then inspect the seams of his sleeves to notice how the whole outfit was inside out. For them to tease each other over whether inside-out clothes could be BS-ed as a deliberate fashion choice or if they'd get stares at the restaurant. And then, they snuck out of the Starblaster through the engine room window so that the rest of the crew wouldn't tease them on the way out.

It all felt normal, and right, and Taako didn't have butterflies in his stomach as much as he had a warm spot in his chest.

But then Kravitz laughed at his own joke and the butterflies came back all over again.

The hamster tubes were a lot easier to navigate as a pair. They could help each other up through the bends of the pipes, and it wasn't so monotonous with someone to talk to. They got out of the plastic as soon as they hit downtown, since the tubes got so hot when the sun hit them. Kravitz held onto his hand as they walked, and it didn't feel important. It felt normal, like this was supposed to happen, and that was better than any of those gross butterflies he kept getting on and off.

The two settled on a restaurant after a lot of bickering (Taako even enjoyed getting to _bicker_ with his boyfriend) and sat together at a two-seat table with tea candles and a bottle of wine with a fruity aftertaste. The waiter only came over when it was absolutely necessary, was able to read the room and realize this was something special. If Taako had any semblance of a moral compass he'd feel bad for the guy, having to interject Kravitz' energetic comments to take their order.

"So how did all this happen?" Taako leaned forward with his elbows on the table, because table manners were outdated and he was more interested in Kravitz anyway. "I am in no universe complaining, but, it just kinda came outta left field for me, you know?"

"Well, first off, I _should_ apologize, because I technically lied about the forest--"

"I knew it." Taako stuck his nose in the air, smug.

"I just wanted to surprise you." Kravitz shot off an apologetic smile, reached forward to squeeze Taako's hand quick before moving to set his side of the table in order. "And even if I told you right there in the forest that I knew you, I...wouldn't have been able to see you. The best I could have done was let you go and pretend you escaped."

Taako poked the stack of bread rolls in the center of the table. Coated in butter and shining in the light. Probably gross. "Still could'a told me."

"I was kind of worried you would have tried to find me again and talk to me," Kravitz said as he unrolled his silverware and placed the napkin on his lap. Dude cared more about rules and manners than Taako ever would (not that the guy was lawful, but he did have some standards), but Taako found the whole thing endearing. "I would have had to take you away if you did that."

"Fair enough." Taako picked up one of the bread rolls and set it down on the little appetizer plate for inspection. It looked gross. It was _wet_ when he poked it. He chose to focus on his boyfriend instead, obviously more important than a soggy bread roll. "So did you have to go into another cage for this to happen? Walk me through it, paint me a picture."

"No, not at all. The cage was just to get me on the ship and stop me from reaping you." Kravitz took a drink of his water, drummed his finger on the rim of his glass as he explained. "Barry found me and showed me some evidence that there was something wrong with my memory. I, uh, still didn't believe him." Kravitz smiled sheepishly and tapped his finger to the side of his head. "Was a little dense about it."

"I can't imagine," Taako said, even though he could very clearly imagine it.

_"But."_  Kravitz leaned forward, full attention on Taako. "Then you walked into the room, and. Barry told me we knew each other, and I was curious."

"So, hold on a second." Taako swallowed the wet bread roll and coughed-- _fucking hell, who got off on putting so much butter on these things?_   "You're telling me that you got so fuckin' horny that you decided to let a stranger perform necromantic experiments on you?"

"Well." Kravitz picked up his glass and drank most of it to fill the silence, thoroughly embarrassed. "I wouldn't say _horny."_

Taako grinned and cradled his chin in his hands, elbows on the table. "What _would_ you say?"

Kravitz thought about it for a moment, lips stuck to the rim of his glass. He smiled and set it back down on the table. "Randy."

_"Randy?"_   Taako clapped a hand over his mouth to cover how much he loved and hated that answer. Didn't want to encourage Kravitz to say that ever again. "Nope, no, sorry, I'm breaking up with you. Can't handle that."

The table dissolved into giggles until the two ended up staring at each other. Kravitz grinned wide. "Either way, I didn't do it because I was horny, I did it because I've always felt a strong pull on your soul." Kravitz reached over the table to hold Taako's hand in his, his smile big and warm and just for Taako. "I always love you, even if I don't know you."

Taako watched him with wide eyes, unbelieving. Holy shit, how did he get _this_ lucky? He felt a little overwhelmed, sitting there listening to Kravitz' endless compliments, but shoved those feelings down where they wouldn't pop up. Saved them for later, maybe. Now that he had real Kravitz here, he felt the urge to bear his heart out in front of the guy. Fucked up, maybe, but Taako thought he earned a little bit of sappiness from seventy-three years of holding it back.

He didn't want to get to it in public, with people in earshot, so he bottled that all that up.

"Did it, uh, hurt?" Taako asked, a desperate attempt to change the subject, "to access your memory."

"Not at all. It, uh, it takes longer for the memory to come out when he does it manually, that's the only issue." Kravitz scratched at his head, pulled an uncomfortable face. "It was a little disorientating, but I think it was worth it."

"Should'a told me, I would have been there."

"I really wanted to surprise you. Next time, we can do it together." He smiled, until he didn't. Had that guilty look on his face that he got whenever he stepped too close into Taako's boundaries (although his perceptions of where these boundaries lied were much farther out than where they truly were). "If, uh--i-if you wanted, I don't want to. Force you to. Babysit me while I'm trying to piece my life back together."

"I'm not gonna just leave you out to dry, babe."

"I said some dumb stuff," he said, as if that would be a deterrent. "Like I was on anesthetics or something."

Taako snorted. "Oh, then I _definitely_ want to be there for that."

"It's not like I spilled any secrets, Taako." Kravitz reached for one of the bread rolls and grimaced when he felt how wet it was. He ate it anyway.

"Still bet it was cute."

Kravitz looked deep in thought as he chewed through the wet roll. "Barry said I babbled."

"About?"

"The crew. My old life and memories." He wiped the excess butter off of his lips and smiled. "You."

Taako had to slam down a full glass of water to get over that. What was up with his brain today? Sure, he had his boyfriend back, but he didn't have to be so clingy about it. Kravitz hadn't even said anything that nice, he was just being himself. Although, maybe that was the reason. Kravitz didn't need an excuse to be nice and loving, that was his default. It made Taako's heart expand, made him lose his breath, and-- _fuck, shit,_ he couldn't handle this. It was one little comment, but like the straw that wrecked the camel's humps, it was enough to put Taako out of commission.

"Uh. I think I'm--uh. I've just." Taako scrambled out of his seat so fast, he had to catch himself so he didn't trip out of the booth. There was no way he'd let Kravitz see this breakdown. "Bathroom."

"Oh, o-okay, I--" Kravitz reached for the menu and lunged over the table to catch Taako. "What did you want to order? In case the wai--"

"Uh, the, uh--" Taako ducked back to the table and looked at the menu, scanned it quickly. "Fuck, go for the--uh. The paella." He ran off to the bathroom, but not before placing a hurried kiss on the top of Kravitz' head (because, fuck, he _overflowed_ with this feeling). "Be right back."

He heard a few stuttered noises from Kravitz, but they were quickly drowned out by the ambient sounds of the restaurant as Taako ran off. He didn't find the bathroom on the first pass, which was a nightmare because he needed privacy immediately. Thankfully, the place was empty, so Taako locked himself in a stall and put his head between his legs, squat down on the toilet.

Really, he was fine. It wasn't like he launched into a panic attack, he knew what that felt like. This was different. He just wasn't able to contain all his feelings for Kravitz in an attractive, presentable way. It didn't mean anything was wrong. In fact, nothing was wrong at all. These were good feelings. He felt this whenever he spoke to Kravitz with a full memory, and now that Kravitz remembered him for longer, Taako couldn't hold it in as well as he could before. It wasn't like he could _tell_ Kravitz, either, because of how clingy it was. Taako could deal with it on his own. He'd just sit in the bathroom and gush about his boyfriend in peace. Just a couple minutes on his own. That'd be fine.

Or at least, it _was_   fine until Kravitz came to check on him.

"Taako?" Kravitz knocked on the stall door. "Is everything alright?"

"Uh, _yeah,_ it's--" Taako swallowed. Fuck. His voice sounded a hell of a lot more scratchy than he'd like. He wasn't feeling bad, but he knew this would worry Kravitz. "I'm good."

"You, uh, don't sound good." Kravitz' feet shuffled outside the stall. "If I'm doing something wrong--"

"You're not doing anything wrong," he said, and that was the truth. Everything was fine. Everything was _great._ Taako just couldn't show it off yet. "Just--'m being dumb."

"Can I come in?"

Taako thought about letting him inside. But then Kravitz would see him like _this,_ and he'd probably take one look and break the two of them up. He fell in love with the cool, collected exterior of the Taako brand, and this wasn't a part of that. Taako knew he couldn't keep this up forever, that was stupid, but his plan was to integrate it in naturally. Not just collapse over his boyfriend during first contact. As much as he wanted Kravitz to come inside as a comfort, Taako couldn't let that happen.

"...No," he said, although that sounded weak and not convincing at all.

"Okay. I won't." Kravitz took one step backwards from the stall door. He could definitely hear Taako's lie in his voice, but the guy wouldn't be so horrible to barge in when he heard verbal directions otherwise. He stayed quiet for a moment, in deep thought, and then said, "you know, I love it when you get all flustered."

Fuck, _fuck,_ how did Kravitz catch that so quick? Maybe Taako couldn't bottle this up as well as he thought. "Not really in the brand, but, cool."

"Taako, I really don't want you to hide parts of yourself when we're together." Even on the other side of the stall, Taako could hear the warmness in his voice, wanted to rush outside and fall right into the guy's arms. "I'm your boyfriend, you don't have to put on theatrics to entertain me."

"Cool, but, uh, I've been--" _Damn it._ What was it about Kravitz that made Taako spill out honesty like a condensed zone of truth? At least he caught it this time. "Nevermind, I, uh--it's cool."

"You've been what?"

"Like _this_ with you for, uh, all seventy fucking years you've known me." Okay, that didn't last long. But what was he going to do, lie to his boyfriend? No, he wasn't going to be like Lup and Barry, who lived off in miscommunication station for fifty years. He got his boyfriend for the whole year, he had catching up to do. "Can't just change that. Kind of--kind of how we work."

"You've only known me for a year at a time, I--" Kravitz took a lap around the bathroom, paced around the stalls. Tried to find the right words. "Things will change between us, that's normal. It doesn't mean I'm going to leave you."

"There's a chance you'll hate it," he said, and hated how small his own voice sounded.

"I won't, it's you." Kravitz dipped his voice down into that low, soft register that Did Things to Taako's heart. "You know that, don't you?"

The feeling in Taako's chest stopped overflowing and settled down into something a hell of a lot more manageable. Instead of sapping his energy, it put him at ease. It felt a whole lot better than it did before. Calmer. More normal. He laughed and snorted, rolled his eyes even though Kravitz couldn't see. "Ugh, like, will you though? What if I told you I slept in clown clothes every night?"

"I would definitely make fun of you for that, but I'd still want to date you." Kravitz stepped squarely in front of the stall. Taako could just imagine his hand laid on the door, his forehead pressed against the stall. He could see the reassuring smile in his mind, and couldn't stop a similar one forming on his own face. "Taako. It'd be bad if things _didn't_ change between us. We can't stay in the first year forever. Whatever you have that I haven't seen yet, I--I know I'll still love you afterwards."

"Thing is, I, uh, I _want_ to show you, I just--" Taako blew out a raspberry. "We're still in public. I'm not going to bear my fuckin' soul out where other people can see it."

"I can tone it down in public. But when we're alone, do you think you could--um. I'd just like to see you loosen up a little."

"I--I mean, yeah." The feeling bubbling up in Taako's chest crawled up again, moved up his spine and over his shoulders. Fuck. He had it so bad. And Kravitz _wanted_ to see that--holy shit. He wanted to see that. Taako kind of wanted to show him. "I'd, uh, I'd--I'd like to. With you."

"Can we talk about this later? In private?" God, Kravitz' voice sounded so _hopeful._ As if Taako could deny him anything.

"Yeah." Taako felt calm again, not so strung up. That was a better version of the feeling. He could get used to it. "That'd be nice."

"I'll go back to our table." Kravitz took one step away from the door. "Take your time winding down, okay?"

Taako leaned forward on the toilet, grinned even though Kravitz wouldn't see. He'd hear it. "What if I said I wanted to blow you in here?"

"Hard pass, Taako, save that for later." Kravitz laughed. Not his polite or nervous one, his real one that was a lot less graceful. It was Taako's favorite specifically because of how bad it was. "I love you."

"I love you, too," he said. It wouldn't hurt him to give a little preview. Kravitz shut the door to the bathroom. Taako sat in the stall for just enough time to catch his breath and followed his boyfriend out. Kravitz didn't ask too many deep personal questions at the restaurant, stayed away from big feelings territory. What a fucking gentleman. Taako wanted to pour his heart out to the dude right then and there, but. Public space.

They finished their dinner and stayed until the waiter not-so-subtly asked them when the hell they would leave. They wandered downtown, unsure of where to go. Neither wanted the night to end.

"Ugh, if we go back to the ship, they're just going to interrogate you." Taako had both his arms around Kravitz' as they walked, laid his head on his shoulder. "Let's just stay out."

"We could always rent a room," Kravitz said, eyes glued to Taako. The pair must have looked insufferable to passerby, but neither of them could try to care.

"Dude gets his memories back and all he wants to do is get into my pants, I get it." Taako snickered into Kravitz' sleeve, moved his face to set his chin on his boyfriend's shoulder. "You've twisted my arm."

Kravitz turned his head to kiss Taako. "We don't have to do anything if you don't want to." 

"What if I wanted to?"

"We--we absolutely can, that'd be--" Kravitz blew out a breath, embarrassed even though it wouldn't be anything new. Still, it was cute to watch him get all flustered. "I just thought--we, uh. We've never really been able to talk in private? With all my memories, I mean. There's always been my goddess or your sister in the room, even when we spoke on the stone." He pulled Taako closer to him "And since you're uncomfortable talking too deeply in public, and it seems like you sort of _want_ to, I, uh. Just thought I'd extend the offer."

"You don't have to _convince me,_ I'm on board." Taako tugged on Kravitz' arm, steered him forward. "Gotta find a good room, though, this place is all hamster balls."

"Any room is good if you're there," he said, able to say that sort of dopey shit without pairing it with a joke.

"That's nice, babe, but I have standards."

Kravitz let out a small _hm_ and held his arm around Taako's waist. "The more time you spend searching for a suitable room, the less time we have to talk."

Taako ended up in the shittiest, most hamster-ish room possible.

* * *

Taako woke up in Kravitz' arms, bleary and wholly content, melted against the sheets. At first, he wanted to meditate, to have as much time speaking to Kravitz as possible. He couldn't afford losing four more extra hours of time with his boyfriend to something as boring as sleep. But, Kravitz felt him drift off into something less thoughtful than meditation, and told him he had all the time to get his rest that he needed. They had a lot longer than ten minutes, Taako could indulge in eight hours of unconsciousness. Although, sleeping left him groggy and drowsy when he came to--meditation tended to leave him energized and battle-ready.

But there was something nice about waking up without _waking up,_ to stay with his cheek pressed up at the edge of the pillow, head tucked underneath Kravitz' chin. Even if the room they rented was a spherical hamster nook fifty feet off the ground, it was comfortable because Kravitz was there with him. His spine curved in an awkward angle and the sheets bunched up at both ends of the ball, but who the hell cared?

He didn't have a dream as much as he had a playback of the previous night's events, an analysis of what it all meant. Not much of it was actually about sex, if he was being honest. The core of it was just an elaborate and drawn-out declaration of love, broken up by laughter and words. Taako felt like he should be embarrassed about how much blabbering he did during the thing, how thoroughly unsexy it was, but it was all worth it to see the look on Kravitz' face. It was stupidly sappy, and it wouldn't be something Taako wanted all the time, but after so long of not having Kravitz, he needed it. Hell, he wanted to do it again soon. At least until he got settled into the idea of having Kravitz for more than ten minutes at a time.

Because, fuck, he had that now! He had a boyfriend that remembered him. He felt more connected to Kravitz in one night of talking than he did from years of shallow dates. The two of them were so different but overlapped beautifully, balanced each other out. They were still in the midst of a new honeymoon phase. A buzzing excitement still ran through Taako's skin whenever Kravitz touched him or spoke fondly of him, or whenever he shared something new about himself to Taako. He felt the urge to spill out his soul to Kravitz, to be honest and open, and that was new.

But, still, Taako had the feeling that Kravitz was it for him.

He felt completely calm and safe in Kravitz' arms as he decided whether he should fall back to sleep in the loving arms of his boyfriend or get up to talk more. Or go for another round with the guy (Kravitz teased him, said he didn't know Taako was such a fan of _making love,_ but Taako shut him up and called him a grandpa for referring to it as that, even if that's exactly what it was). Really, Taako was up for anything, as long as he could spend time with his boyfriend.

His boyfriend that remembered him.

That was enough of an incentive for Taako to wake up. He didn't move much, just enough so that Kravitz would know he was awake. Taako opened his eyes to see Kravitz' staring back at him, so fond and loving.

"Good morning." Kravitz smiled, tipped Taako's chin up towards him to give him a soft kiss.

"Hey," Taako said, and kissed him too, his senses blurred at the edges. He stayed firm in Kravitz' arms, cuddled up closer. "Haven't slept that good in a while."

"Really," Kravitz said, rubbed his thumb into a knot of muscle right at the base of Taako's neck. "Even in this wonky hellhole of a room?"

The room _was_ a wonky hellhole. Opaque plastic in a perfect sphere, just large enough for a spherical mattress. No furniture or anything, no artwork, barely enough space to hold two grown men. Not that Taako wanted to detach himself from Kravitz anyway, but if he was claustrophobic, this would be a nightmare room. Even smaller than his room on the Starblaster. 

"Yeah, _fuck,_ you, uh." For the tenth or eleventh time, Taako's brain played back a scene from the previous night. Where Taako asked for something different, that ultimately made him more vulnerable than he normally cared to be. But with Kravitz? Fuck. He didn't mind. It didn't scare him to be soft with Kravitz, it was fun. A relief to not have to worry about personal brands or spectacle. Taako rarely got chances to practice being intimate and genuine, and he could definitely be better at it with Kravitz, but this was a start. It was enough to make him want to practice more. "Last night was fun."

"It was." Kravitz grinned, proud of himself. Taako could never get enough of that cocky side of him. Taako reached up to kiss him, hoped that if he encouraged it, Kravitz would act more confident. Kravitz pulled him closer, which Taako took as an invitation to climb over top of him and continue his work. It was sleepy and wasn't really going anywhere. Reminded Taako that he had lots of time with his boyfriend. At the thought of it, he melted against Kravitz, reached down to kiss at his jaw and neck, a surge of affection punching him straight in the gut.

"Should do it again sometime," he whispered against Kravitz' jaw.

Kravitz laughed, breathless from the attention Taako gave him. "You would want to?"

"I, uh. I mean, yeah, it was--" Taako felt his cheeks heat up and buried his face in the pillow, nestled next to Kravitz' head. "Kind of--kind of intense, but, uh, in a good way. Would you want to?"

"I would never deny you anything. Well--as long as it doesn't put either of us in danger." Kravitz turned to kiss the side of Taako's head, but it was at an awkward angle so he couldn't get a good one in. Still nice. "You know, I really love you."

Taako poked his head out from the pillow to shoot an amused glare at Kravitz, embarrassment be damned. "You said it about fifteen times yesterday, I'd hope so."

"I couldn't help myself." Kravitz reached to run his thumb along Taako's cheek. "This is--Taako, just--being able to be here with you like this? Without a time limit? It's--even better than I ever imagined it to be."

"Oh, go on, keep flattering me."

"You're amazing," he said, with no extra convincing. Just above a whisper, reverent and quiet so that only Taako could hear. He knocked his forehead against Taako's and gave his full attention as he spoke. "Just, so creative and resourceful and skilled. Unpredictable, in the best way. Kind of a chaotic asshole sometimes, but _damn_   that's...just as hot. It's amazing how dedicated you are to your sister and your crew and to me, the capacity you have for love even if you don't present it traditionally. It blows me away to see just how powerful of a wizard you are, and there have been times where you say something so hilarious that I can't bring air to my lungs for a good five minutes."

Kravitz reached over to kiss him quickly. Taako thought that was the end of it, but he kept going. "There are so many facets to you, this isn't even past the surface of everything." Kravitz held him closer. "You're so multidimensional, and I love every part of you, Taako."

_"I--"_ Taako hid his face in the sheets, but couldn't stop the delighted tilt his ears showed. "Uh."

"And you're cute when you're embarrassed." Kravitz ran a hand through Taako's hair, fond and reverent. "I love you."

It took him a moment to gather up the courage, to dig his head out of the sheets. His face was still red, and usually he wouldn't be too crazy to show that. But Kravitz already said he wanted to see Taako loosen up. "Did you have all of that rehearsed? Like, _damn."_

"No, just happy that I can finally tell you what you deserve to hear." He laughed. "And there's a lot."

Taako tipped his head to the side, didn't even hide his gross goopy smile. "You really love me, huh?"

"Was there any doubt?"

Whoops. Shit, he didn't want Kravitz to worry about this. It wasn't a big deal. He thought about how to answer for a moment before he hid his face in the sheets and declared, "not anymore!"

Kravitz tensed up, worried. "Hold on, was there before?"

"I, uh--" Oh, that made it worse. Taako scrambled to say something to smooth this all over, but he spilled out even more embarrassing words. "Y'know, last night I said, uh, a lot of things that are pretty fuckin' clingy, I--"

"I wouldn't call it clingy." Kravitz gently nudged Taako's face out of the sheets so that he could speak to him face to face. "Taako, you had to wait seventy-three _years_ before...well, this. I'd be worried if you _weren't_ acting a little--uh, I'm not even sure what to call it, but it's cute and not clingy." He let go of Taako, allowed him some space to hide again. "Everyone has needs, and I would never ask you to push yours away to seem less invested."

"Still," Taako said, frozen. Even though Kravitz let go of his face, he couldn't pull away and hide. He didn't feel the need to. He was embarrassed and it felt like his heart was completely exposed, but it wasn't bad. He pressed closer to Kravitz, found that it was more secure to stay in his arms to have this conversation.

"I'm not going to get mad at you for being in love with me." Kravitz beamed when Taako nudged up closer again and held him in his arms. "I haven't dated since I got divorced, and that was...centuries ago. It's, uh--it's nice to feel, um, wanted."

"I want you. Like, more than just. Uh. Here." Taako pressed up as close as he could, but had to turn his head away. Maybe he'd get better at that later, but. Baby steps. "I'm not--uh, I'm not good at being. Y'know, open and honest and shit, but. I'm--I'll do--I just, uh, think I'm ready for that. With you."

The two locked eyes for an extended moment, which turned into two moments, which turned into five. It felt important. Not something that they would remember vividly, but more like a starting point to things that they would remember for the rest of their lives (or whatever the fuck Kravitz' existence was). This was worlds better than every first date, every first _love you,_ every last day combined. If Taako had this thirty years ago, he would have been too afraid to confront these feelings correctly. But he had his time to stew on it all. He was more than ready to go past the shallow first dates and first years, even at the cost of some of his emotional privacy. Kravitz was well on his way of earning a spot next to Lup on Taako's limited list of people he could admit anything to.

Not only was Taako okay with that, but he also wanted that.

Taako couldn't take it anymore and pulled Kravitz to him with an intention to kiss him furiously. It fell into something a lot sweeter and more genuine, to the disappointment of no one. Taako could feel Kravitz grin against him, which made him do the same, which made Kravitz pull away to laugh, which made Taako do the same again. What the hell was Kravitz doing to him?

Good things, he told himself.

Really, really good things.

"You're--" Kravitz kissed him again on the cheek. "I don't even have the words for it."

"It's--uh, good, though?" he asked, and really didn't mean for it to sound so unsure, but. Whatever. Emotional honesty. If Kravitz didn't mind it, he wouldn't hold it back.

"It's a lot more than that." Kravitz took another long look at him, traced his fingers down Taako's neck to his shoulder to rub a sore spot there. "This looks great on you, you know. You look happy. And I, uh, I love how enthusiastic you are, it's. Really cute."

"Just catching up." He frowned, tapped his fingers on Kravitz' side. "I mean, this, uh, won't be. Uh. This is an exception. Special occasion."

"Sure."

"But, I, uh--I am. Like. Super fucking in love with you." Taako punctuated this with a kiss right between Kravitz' eyes.

"I've never doubted that."

"Uh, it's, almost too much? Kind of overwhelming, y'know, that's how. Uh. Much it is."

Kravitz shifted away. "Do you need a few moments alone?"

"Don't you dare." Taako hooked his leg around Kravitz' so he couldn't escape. "Listen, uh, I'm pretty sure it'll settle down at some point. I--it's, uh, a lot of big feelings there right now."

"It's the same thing on my end." Kravitz settled back down. "We have a whole year, it'll--I can't imagine it'll keep being this intense for the whole time."

Taako nodded once. "For sure, honeymoon phase."

"Doesn't mean we can't enjoy it while we have it, though."

"Oh, yeah, uh." Taako brought his face right up to Kravitz', brushed their noses together. "I'm enjoying it."

"You're trouble. I love you." Kravitz' eyes crinkled at the edges from how hard he smiled. "But I have to say, I'm a fan of you being so open, it's--it's new. I like it."

"Also, uh, also new to me."

"Is it bad?"

"Surprisingly, no." Taako heaved himself off of Kravitz onto the space next to him, stared up at the spherical ceiling. "I don't know what to do with it, but, uh, kind of got the feeling that you'll, uh--wait. For me to catch up."

"I will." Kravitz laced his fingers through Taako's and squeezed his hand, just to comfort him. "Whenever that is."

Taako hummed and scooted up against Kravitz' side. He wanted to say something more, but wasn't sure what. Stuff from when he and Lup were kids would be too much of a bummer. So would the bad necromancy years--and it'd be weird to bring up the good years too, right? Like, the marriage year. He couldn't just bring that up immediately. Kravitz might take that as a hint (and, yeah, Taako wanted to marry him, but not _now)._ And Taako was _not_ about to talk about his sister or Barry or the rest of the crew now. The future? Too deep. Other Kravitzes? Too shallow. Taako wanted to share but he couldn't really come up with anything, until--

"I was a virgin when we fucked for the first time," he blurted out, and then cursed. Fuck. Really? _That_ was the big revelation he wanted to share right now?

"You were--" Kravitz jolted and knocked his head against the side of the plastic wall and cried out. He rubbed the bump rapidly forming on his head and watched Taako with some kind of panicked confusion. _"What?"_

"Shocker, I know, but, like--" Taako made useless and meaningless gestures with his hands as he tried to get his point across. "Lup and I were inseparable and we couldn't afford, like, a fuckin' doctor if we ran into trouble, so. We just, uh. Didn't. And then when we got, uh, stable, there wasn't anyone that I, like, trusted to do that with? I guess I could have, but I, uh...it's. A lot, y'know?"

"I can see that." Kravitz hissed as he touched the bump again, and laid back down next to Taako. "I can't say I had the same experience, and not to toot my own horn, but--I guess that means you have an excellent track record."

"What can I say? I got it in one." Taako laughed, glad that Kravitz wasn't making a big deal of it all. "You're the only one that gets to know the genuine Taako secrets."

"I'll guard them with my undeath." Kravitz made an unnecessarily dramatic gesture to kiss the back of Taako's hand, which would make Taako barf if he wasn't also into it. "But you didn't tell me? The first time, at least?"

Taako just shrugged. "Didn't want to fuck up the mood."

"I would have made it special."

"What, you're saying it wasn't?" Taako held back a laugh, hid his face in Kravitz' shoulder. "I swear I had to stop you from gettin' out candles, like, every fuckin' time we did it for the first time."

"More special, I guess." He pointedly ignored Taako's teasing, and waited a few moments for Taako's laughter to die down before he spoke again. "Did you--uh, did you date before me?"

He thought about it. Did he? That was so fucking long ago. He had a vague feeling that Kravitz wasn't the first person he dated. He swore Lup forced him on a date or two before they hit two hundred, and he'd gone on one in his nineties disguised as Lup to make sure she wasn't dating a scumbag (spoiler alert, she was) (also Taako got caught about five minutes into the dinner). But one date with a person didn't mean dat _ing_ them, right? "I had been _on dates."_

Kravitz' whole good mood fell and he held Taako firmer around the waist. "Shit, Taako--"

"Listen, I'm not, fuckin'--sad about it, if that's what you're worried about." He kissed Kravitz quickly to mark his point. "Obviously I won out on that front, so--y'know, worth it."

"No, that's not what I meant, I." Kravitz frowned and stared at the ceiling, formed his sentence in his head. "Didn't you get lonely?"

"Had Lup."

"Just Lup?"

"Pretty much." Taako let out a puff of breath. He really didn't want to get into that when he was in such a good mood. Best to end this as quick as he could. "Look, it's--it's just how we had to do, it's not. Some kind of tragedy. I'm good here."

"I don't know if I could have done that," Kravitz said, steered the heat of the conversation away from Taako. "I was so afraid to be alone I got married at nineteen."

"How'd that go south?"

"Uh, I-I--" Kravitz shrunk in on himself. The night before he'd told Taako everything he asked. He hadn't come up on a sore spot yet. The guy looked to be a bit ill-equipped for it. "Can we talk about that later? I think I need. To prepare for that, uh, conversation."

"Yeah, for sure." Taako had asked Kravitz to stop talking about specific things hundreds of times, and he dropped it, so, _yeah,_ Taako would return the favor. "Uh, quick question though, am, I, uh, in danger of--have I, uh, done. Anything wrong li-like that?"

"Oh _hell_ no," he said, let out a light chuckle, and kissed Taako's cheek quickly. "Gods, Taako, you're not even _close_ to my first husband. I mean, we never--he wasn't a bad person, but. It never felt right. I felt more alone in my marriage than I ever did single." He smiled and turned his head back to the ceiling, content. "I'm not worried about us."

"Okay." Still, Taako worried. Kravitz did everything in his power to make sure Taako was good, but Taako needed to take care of him too. He wanted to. "But you'd tell me if--"

"I would." Kravitz looped an arm around Taako and kissed the top of his head. "I'm glad I've found you, this--I just feel. Comfortable around you, you know?"

"Same here." Taako nestled his way into Kravitz' arms. "I mean, it's, just--I don't know how the fuck you do it. But this is. Uh. Safe."

"You will always be safe around me, I'll make sure of that." He laughed. "At least, when I remember you."

Taako rolled over to climb back on top of Kravitz to tease him. "Ooh, got a bit of a protective streak there, don't you?"

"When it comes to you, yes. When this is all over--" Kravitz stopped himself, ducked his head away from Taako for a moment. Shy. Cute. "Well, I think it's too early to make plans. But you're in them."

"You're in, uh, my plans too." Taako brushed a few braids away from Kravitz' face, enjoyed the dumbstruck look he got in return. Fuck, this dude was so _cute_ when he wasn't trying to impress him. He definitely preferred Kravitz comfortable and in love like this. Not nervous or stumbling over himself to look good on the first date. Taako was done with all that, thanks so much. He leaned forward to kiss Kravitz on the cheek, his mind still overflowing with love. He was able to think of plans with the guy now, that was possible.

Taako wanted to get Kravitz out of this uncomfortable motel room, into a space of their own. He wanted to go back to the home they made in cycle twenty-eight's Astral plane--no, wait. He wanted to go make a different one, now that they both remembered. But he wanted to kick the Hunger away first, so that they would be safe and nobody would bother them. That all seemed really fucking far away, though, and wished he had a space with Kravitz now.

He understood why Barry and Lup wanted to knock that wall down for the renovations.

"Should we get back to the ship?" Kravitz asked, sat up to prepare himself for the move.

"Captain said we had _a day."_   Taako was thoroughly exhausted from all that emotional vulnerability. He rolled over on his stomach and smashed his cheek into it. "Hasn't been a day yet. I'm sleepin' in."

"Fair enough." Kravitz stayed knelt next to Taako, laid his hand on his back comfortingly. "Are you going back to sleep?"

"I could," he said, but then sprung up so that he sat next to Kravitz, arms wrapped around his shoudlers. "I was thinking I'd make you feel _wanted_ again. Since that's such a big thing for you."

"No-o-o," he whined, and pulled Taako more securely into his arms. He pulled the two back onto the mattress, let himself fall back-first onto it. "I'm tired and I just want to cuddle my boyfriend."

"Cuddle is such a dumb word," Taako said, rolled his eyes even though he'd really like that. "Sounds like something a baby would say."

Kravitz grinned. "Then shouldn't you be the one saying it?"

"Tough words from a guy about to lose his cuddling privileges." It took a lot of acting for Taako to look like he had any sort of authority over the cuddling privileges.

"Am I about to lose them? It doesn't seem like it." Kravitz nuzzled his nose into Taako's neck, smiled into his skin. "You're still pressed up very close."

"You can't prove that."

"Love, you're _literally_ right on top of me."

Taako turned his face away to hide his giddy, teasing grin. "And that can change in a second."

"Sounds like an empty threat," Kravitz said, eyes closed. Taako decided the best and most natural course of action was to blink out of Kravitz' arms and reappear as far away as he could go--which would normally be ten feet, but there wasn't that much room in the tiny room. He did his best, though, and ended up on the other side of the bed. Kravitz rolled over and rose up on his elbows, frowning. _"Taako!"_

"I don't _make_ empty threats, _dear."_ Taako sat with his back against the curved wall, legs crossed in faux-indifference.

"If you don't get back here, I'll walk to the ship on my own." Kravitz crossed his arms. Taako knew he wasn't serious, knew that he was bullshitting him. But he couldn't take that chance. He flopped back onto the bed and rolled into Kravitz' chest back-first. Kravitz' arms circled around him and he laughed. "See? Empty threat."

"Fuck you," he said, but there wasn't any heat in it.

Kravitz laughed harder and kissed behind Taako's ear. "No, I told you I just wanted to cuddle."

"Bad! Bad and wrong!" Taako's ear flicked backwards into Kravitz' face, which didn't seem to be much of a deterrent at all for the guy. The opposite, really. But Taako couldn't be bothered to act mad about it. He spent too much energy to stay awake, now, and sitting there enveloped in Kravitz' arms tore down all of those previous efforts. Taako had to blink his eyes open every minute or so, had to stay up so that he could speak to his boyfriend more. Or maybe he shouldn't have fought it. They had more time than they ever had before, now, and Taako could afford to fall asleep again. This was good.

"I love you," Kravitz said, his voice right at the edge of Taako's consciousness.

"Love you too," he mumbled back, and then he fell the rest of the way into sleep.

* * *

They made it to the ship a couple hours later than they should have. Taako didn't worry. What would they do? Nothing, that's what. He could have as much time with Kravitz as he wanted, they'd just have to deal with that. He had the feeling they wouldn't bother him too much on it, since he'd been after this guy for seventy years. The real problem was _Kravitz'_ worry. He fiddled with his jacket and hair the whole way to the Starblaster, kept asking questions about how the crew would receive him. Kravitz still looked nervous by the time they reached the deck of the Starblaster, even after Taako assured him it'd be fine at least twenty times over.

"You might want to, uh--" Kravitz reached forward and popped Taako's shirt collar, adjusted his scarf to hide the evidence of how carried away the two got. "I have a feeling they'd make fun of you if they saw that."

"Your fault for makin' all those marks. Didn't have to put 'em up so _high,_ babe." Lup would definitely notice, but Taako was unsure whether she'd actually call him out on it. He could have covered it with magic, but there wasn't any fun in that. "Little possessive, aren't you?"

"When it comes to you? Yes." Kravitz gave him a quick, soft kiss. Just a bit apologetic, but not guilty. "I can be more subtle with it next time, if you like. I was just--excited to see you."

"I like that enthusiasm." Taako elbowed him. "You ready to get grilled?"

That launched Kravitz into another nervous fit. He gripped the rails of the Starblaster in panic. "Oh, _fuck,_ Taako, I've--I've killed you and your friends so many times, there's no way they--"

"I'll make them like you." Taako opened the door and pushed Kravitz through. "Come on."

He stumbled into the common area, and Taako followed behind. Thankfully, it was empty and nobody saw Kravitz' ungraceful entrance. But when Taako shut the door, Lup skid out of the kitchen, spatula in hand and an apron that said _Horngry_   in big looping script with cartoon teeth and lips embroidered above.

"Augh, _there_ you are!" She ran and crashed Taako in a hug, worried as if she wasn't the one that chased them out of the ship the day before. "Fuck, where the hell were you two?"

Taako stuck his nose in the air. "Out."

Lup pursed her lips. "Where's _out?"_

He really didn't want to tell her about the room, for fear of endless sibling teasing. "I took him around town."

She knew exactly what game Taako played, and only egged him on. "All night?"

"All night." He wouldn't break. Nope. Wouldn't happen.

"Didn't sleep?" She grinned wider. "Didn't meditate?"

"We rented a room," Kravitz said, exasperated that the twins danced around the information.

Lup's lip curled up into a smirk and she crossed her arms. "Is that why you're wearing your scarf so high up?"

_Fuck._ She noticed. "None of your business," Taako said, and pulled the scarf up higher.

Kravitz rolled his eyes. "I think you should let us off the hook this one time, considering Taako has caught you nine whole times."

"Oh, that's not why I'm letting you off the hook." Lup whacked the center of Kravitz' chest with a spatula and turned back into the kitchen. "I'm letting you off the hook because you both look happy and I really don't want to think about it too hard."

"Hey, Kravitz," Barry said, walked out of the kitchen door just as Lup walked into it. "You still feeling alright?"

"I'm wonderful, Barry, thank you." Kravitz looked around the ship and frowned when he saw how empty it was. "Where's everyone else?"

"They didn't think you two would be back until at least a week later." Barry moved towards the halls where the cabins were, waved at the boys on his way out. "I was about to round them up for dinner, I'll, uh, tell them you're here."

"You told us to come back in a day." Taako called after Barry and threw his hand in the air, dismissive. "Excuse me for following basic fuckin' directions."

Lup shouted from the kitchen, opened the aluminum shade that separated the kitchen from the common room. "And in _what universe_ do you think we'd expect you to follow those _basic fuckin' directions?"_

Taako gestured to Kravitz. "In the universe where I'm carting around my lawful neutral boyfriend."

"I'm not _lawful,"_ Kravitz protested, arms crossed over his chest, "I'm true neutral."

After a moment of gawking from Barry, Lup, and Taako, Taako placed a hand on Kravitz' shoulder and said, "babe, your _job_ is to be lawful."

Kravitz twisted his face up. "Have you _seen_ me do my job?"

"I think he means you're lawful in relation to the rest of us." Lucretia stepped out of the hall, clutched a journal to her chest. She smiled softly once she saw Kravitz. "I heard shouting. Welcome back."

"Thank you, Lucretia."

Lucretia looked over at the wall over the couch, inspected the space from afar. "Now that he's here, I'll have to ask Barry and Magnus to clear off the space behind the couch so we can hang the painting up."

"Am I...not allowed to see the painting without my memories?" Kravitz tilted his head to the side like a confused bird.

"You're in the painting. Taako thought it would confuse you." Lucretia pointed to the spot. "We'll actually be able to hang it in the common room now that you recognize us."

"That would have definitely confused me, but--" Kravitz made some nervous stuttering sounds, looked like he would expire on the spot. "There's a painting of me?"

"Group painting. The one from the beach, remember? You only show up in it when you're friendly to us." Taako pat Kravitz on the back, flashed his teeth in a downright predatory way. "It's magic."

"I vaguely remember a group portrait." Kravitz side-hugged Taako and chuckled. "I'll have to see it." 

Barry shouted from the hallway. "Incoming!"

Seconds later, a Magnus-shaped blur launched out of the hall and onto Kravitz. Taako flew backwards, nope, wasn't going to get caught in this bullshit. He was good to stay a few feet away. Magnus had his arms around Kravitz and Taako heard a sound that could have very well been a spine fracture.

"Wh--Ma--y--" Kravitz wheezed, tried to find his voice. Magnus loosened his grip just enough to let the poor man speak. "Hello, Magnus, I-- _oof,_ that's, uh, quite the-- _grip--"_

Magnus forcibly manhandled Kravitz in front of him, held him by the shoulders. "Nice to have you back!"

"It's, uh, it's very nice to be here." Kravitz glanced over at Taako and Lucretia, terrified. He wasn't super big this year--a little bulky, but none of it was muscle, so he was no match for Magnus' bear hug. "May I have my limbs back?"

"No!" Magnus grinned and hugged him again. Lucretia had to cast suggestion on him to get Kravitz out of the guy's death grip. He scurried over to Taako's side out of fear. Taako audibly sighed and held onto Kravitz' hand for comfort.

"He's horny for hugs," Taako explained, and Kravitz didn't even tease him for the unnecessary usage of the word horny.

Merle popped up behind Taako without any words. Or, two words. "Who's horny?" he asked, and Kravitz launched into a tirade without any further prompting.

At least the tirade mostly _(mostly)_ seemed faked. Kravitz was just as happy to see Merle, exchanged a few words with the guy about his death count (even higher than Taako's) and promised to play a game of Euchre later (bad idea). The color drained out of his face when Davenport walked into the room, though. He pinned his shoulders back and fixed his hair and made himself look presentable.

"What's his deal?" Merle asked, made a motion to wave his hand in front of Kravitz' face. It didn't work, and just resulted in an awkward moment where it looked like Merle waved his hand right in front of Kravitz' pants zipper. Kravitz bat his hand away immediately and muttered out a quiet, "gross."

"He's got a thing for authority," Taako explained.

Merle crossed his arms and looked Kravitz over. "Like, a kink?"

"I don't have _kinks,"_ Kravitz said, and Taako just fucking stared at him. "I'm just--um. Very afraid. Of your captain."

Taako spat out a laugh. "He's, like, three feet tall."

Kravitz stared him down, unimpressed. "I took out most of your team as a gnome once, I hardly think size is an issue."

"Size definitely isn't an issue," Merle said in a sage voice, "or else I'd be in trouble."

Kravitz looked too nervous to offer a rebuttal to that, even though it seemed like he really wanted to. Fine. Taako would just have to do it himself. Just as he opened his mouth to, though, Davenport's eyes found Kravitz. He froze in place, and if a dead man could sweat, he'd flood the floor.

"Oh, you actually came back on time," he said, and then walked to his seat in the common room.

"Why is everyone so surprised by that?" Kravitz asked under his breath. He left Taako to go stand near Davenport's seat, his nerves shot through the ceiling. "I--thought you wanted to talk?"

"Just about what you know about the Hunger." Davenport made himself comfortable, the chair entirely too big for him. He swore that's how he liked it, though, so nobody dared to replace it. "We might be able to figure out a few things after hearing your perspective. You ran into it before it hit our world. Is there anything you can tell us about it that we don't already know?"

"I get the feeling that all of you understand it more than I ever did." Kravitz hovered by the couch but didn't sit, looked like he wanted to jump out the window. "You even have a name for it!"

Magnus sat down on the couch and smiled up at Kravitz. "Took us a while to come up with it."

"I came up with it," Lucretia said, spoken with a stressed and annoyed tone even though her voice stayed flat. "You were the one that wanted to call it _Slurpee."_

"I vaguely remember that," Kravitz said, in awe of his own recollection. Then, he frowned. "You all don't--you don't seem to fear it that much." 

Lup ran into the room from the kitchen and dunked herself on the couch. "We'll figure out how to take it down."

"I can punch it!" Magnus grinned and threw his fist in the air.

"We've done extensive tests to show that you _can't_ punch it," Barry said, staring at Magnus over the rim of his glasses. Everyone laughed, except Kravitz, who sat down on the couch with his hands in his lap. Taako came down from his laughing fit to join him, and the rest of the crew took places around to listen to Kravitz. He didn't seem to enjoy the spotlight too much, stared at the coffee table with a deeply bothered look on his face.

"So, you were there when the Hunger formed?" Davenport asked, not accusingly, just searching.

"It swallowed my world." Kravitz' face twisted up into something Taako hated to see, afraid and distressed. "I, uh, almost got--"

"Gobbled?" Magnus asked.

"Munched?" Lup added, and clacked her teeth.

"I was almost a part of it," Kravitz said, devastated. This wasn't a joke to him, wasn't something he could laugh off like the rest of the crew. "I wasn't in any danger of getting eaten, not like the way you see it now, but I was almost--" He swallowed a breath, deeply unnerved by it all. This wasn't a game to him. "Part. Of it."

With those words, Kravitz crumbled over himself, heaving breaths and tears spilling out of the guy without any control. It wasn't like before, when he saw Taako and cried out of joy. This was just under a hundred years of loss, unleashed in the Starblaster common area. Magnus asked if he was okay and Kravitz didn't respond. He needed a minute to let it all out, and they'd have to wait for it. Taako kept a hand on his back and let him ride it out. Didn't know what to say otherwise. He'd have to make the guy some cookies later or something, because he had no idea what to say to make any of this better.

It was strange, seeing this. Usually people they met who had their worlds destroyed were just that. Destroyed. The crew didn't have to see it. They didn't like to think about it, didn't like to see the despair the Hunger left in its wake. They were the only people that knew what came, knew what would happen. It wasn't a happy memory, and most of the crew lost family or loved ones from their home world. But see that happen enough times, and it didn't have the same effect as it did the first time. It happened so often to them, they didn't think of it as that scary anymore. Except here was Kravitz, who only saw it once, at the beginning of his journey. All other times, Istus took him out of the world before he could see any danger. The memory of it was almost a century away to him, but it left a pretty big impression in his mind.

"You weren't," Lup said, reached her hand over to squeeze Kravitz' forearm.

"I wasn't." Kravitz wiped his eyes on his sleeve and sniffled. Got all that gunk out. "I know. It's--just not a good memory. I lost everyone I ever knew and my original goddess all at once."

Taako didn't normally think much of their home planet, mostly because it treated him and Lup like shit. It was easy for Taako to divide his life into two parts. The years on his original planet, and everything on the mission. And the mission wasn't so bad. He never felt bored, or lonely, he had friends and a good boyfriend. Everyone outside of the crew didn't even exist to him, but he had a good set of people. He liked them. Lup was taken care of by friends and Barry. They ran on a magic friendship engine and it would keep going in eternity from all of the goopy love the crew shared for each other. As far as the Taako story went, he worked well on the ship, and preferred it to his old life even if the Hunger genuinely terrified him. Even if he never had a permanent, peaceful place to stop.

But it seemed like Kravitz liked his life from home, for the most part. He had family, and friends, and a whole other goddess years before he ever met the crew. Knowing Kravitz, the loss of his first goddess must have shattered him, in the beginning. Taako hadn't gotten much information about Kravitz' family yet, they hadn't had the time so far, but. Kravitz must have had other family too. He wasn't with his husband anymore, but that opened up a lot of possibilities. Did he have kids? Fuck, what would Taako do if his boyfriend's kids got swallowed by the Hunger? Now that Kravitz had his memories, it seemed like he wasn't as keen to shoot those people out of his mind. The swallowing of his planet bothered Kravitz than it did Taako or anyone else in the crew.

Or maybe Taako just bottled up that fear. It was hard to tell with him, these days.

Lucretia leaned forward and offered Kravitz a tissue. "Are you good?"

"Ye-yes. Just. Overwhelmed, I guess." He took the tissue and blew into it, found another dry corner to wipe up the wetness under his nose. "I've been spending my yearly ten minutes--thinking of the crew, and, I just. Now that I have more time to think about it--" Kravitz took out a breath. "I'm sure you know the feeling."

"You can take your time with all this, we're not going to rush you," Merle said, actually managing to be comforting for once (he could do that maybe once a week, if things were good).

"Thank you." Kravitz looked at the crew, smiled weakly once he saw that he wouldn't be teased for his outburst. "I have to be honest, I thought--thought you would be. Interrogating me. Or angry at me. For all I've done."

Magnus shook his head. "What? No. We're not mad at you." 

"That wasn't you, dude." Lup smacked Kravitz on the back and grinned. "I've told Taako a thousand times that we'd be cool with you if you remembered stuff."

"I'm a little mad," Davenport said, arms crossed, mustache puffed out, "but I think that was more of your goddess' fault, in the specific planes we've been to."

"Please don't blame my goddess right in front of me." Kravitz shot a look towards Davenport, who didn't back down. That looked like it could turn into a fight later, but neither had the energy to do it right that second. "Whatever plane we land on when this is all over, though--even if necromancy isn't legal, I'll do my best to see if I can shorten your sentence or waive it altogether. And that's not just because of Taako, I--I do care about all of you."

"Dude," Magnus said, shoulders hunched over, "don't worry about it."

"I'm a little worried," Davenport said, contrary again, but Lucretia rolled her eyes and told him to read the room, which got him quiet.

"But! Anyway!" Lup grinned from both ears and stood up off the couch. "That's not why Kravitz is here right now!" She ran out of the room again without any warning, leaving only dust in the space she previously occupied.

"It's not?" Taako and Kravitz both asked, slightly out of sync.

Barry leaned forward, spoke quietly. "We're doing renovations on the ship and wanted your input."

Kravitz looked even more out of his element. "What does any of that have to do with me?"

"Hang tight, you'll see in a second," Barry said, and then winked. With both eyes.

Lup ran back into the room and threw down a copy of the Starblaster blueprints onto the coffee table. "So, we've been thinking of tearing down this wall--" She pointed to the wall separating Taako and Barry's room. Right, the original plan had been to switch Lup and Taako's room to tear down that wall. "But. Since we've figured out the whole Kravitz situation, I, uh. Have a new idea." Lup popped the cap off of a marker and hovered it over the blueprints. "If Merle switches rooms with me, that'd get all three of our rooms in the same line," she said, pointing between her and Barry and Taako.

"What, so I still get to hear the two of you forget to cast silence every night?" Taako kicked her under the table.

"Shut up, doofus." Lup scratched out the walls between all three of the rooms. "I'm saying we take out both of these walls."

Taako slapped both of his knees and threw his head off to the side. "Making me homeless, I get it--"

"And put one in the middle." She uncapped another marker to add another wall straight down the middle. "So we end up with two rooms that are a room and a half large."

"Okay, so why does Merle have to move away from this?" Taako shot a suspicious look towards Merle. "Figured you'd want a larger pad to fuck all your plants in."

"Well, we assume Kravitz is going to be on the ship more regularly," Davenport said. "I think it's high time he gets a space on the ship too, in case of an emergency."

"You--you want to put Kravitz in--" Taako tripped over himself by the time he got to the end of his sentence, the full implications of it hitting him like a truck. "In my room."

"If you want." Lup shrugged, nonchalant as if she didn't just ask Taako if he wanted Kravitz to move in. "If not, we'll just do the original plan, it's whatever." She looked down at the blueprint again and inspected it. "Actually, you know what? It'd be better if we didn't do the new plan, we'd get more space that way."

"No, ho-hold on, stop the phone, uh--" Taako reached forward to grab the blueprint and looked it over. This had to be a prank, right? "I mean, hold the phone, stop on, _fuck--"_   Ughhh, what the fuck was wrong with him? Couldn't even get out a fucking sentence. "You want to put Kravitz in my room."

Barry had the audacity to laugh. "Just thought we'd give you the option, bud."

"I mean--like, it's appealing to me, I, uh--" Taako used the blueprint as a shield between him and Kravitz, leaned forward to whisper over to Lup. "He's gonna forget about all this in a year, y'know?"

"We actually figured out how to get him to remember shit on every year the necromancy situation is good." Barry pulled out a tiny notebook from his pocket labeled _KRAVITZ INSTRUCTIONS_ and handed it to Taako. "It's not just for the year."

"Oh." Taako stared at the notebook, eyes wide, his whole world opened. He flipped through it to find a set of runes and instructions to get Kravitz' memory back again. He had no fucking idea what to say. This was everything he'd wanted for a while.

Well, other than defeating the Hunger, but he'd take what he could get.

Lup nudged Kravitz with an elbow, glared up at him with a glimmer in her eye. "What do you think about all this, Kravitz?"

Kravitz sat there like the crew of the Starblaster had set him in a boiling pot. Taako wondered if he looked the same. He certainly felt the same, how the sweat gathered on his palms while his heart overworked itself. It was an amazing offer, of course, that's exactly what Taako wanted. But he didn't expect to run into it so soon.

"Can we, uh--" Kravitz floundered around until his hand found Taako's arm. He spoke just so Taako could hear. "We might want to talk about this in--in private for just a moment."

"Su-sure, uh, just--" Taako stood from the couch and pushed Kravitz towards the hallway. "Be right--we'll be--in a minute."

Seconds later, Kravitz pulled the two into one of the Starblaster's supply closets. Kravitz pressed his own back to the wall and put his hands on his face, eyes to the ceiling. Taako stayed frozen with a bit of space between them, as if he'd shatter everything if he moved.

Eventually, his nerves got the better of him and Taako spoke up. "Kravitz? You uh, you good?"

"Yes." Kravitz lifted his head off the wall and let out a breath. "Taken off guard, sure, but. Good."

"Good." Taako rattled the door and raised a brow at Kravitz. "Why're we in here, babe?"

He ducked his head down in that way he usually did when he was too polite. "I, um. I didn't want to pressure you into anything in front of the rest of the group."

"That's, uh--" Taako drummed fingers on Kravitz' shoulders, aimed for nonchalance but missed the mark by a mile. "Real nice of you, but, uh. I want that."

"You do?" Some of that overly-polite edge melted away.

"If you do, yeah." 

"Of course I would want that, I--" Kravitz tilted his head to the side, voice cracked in a register that Taako didn't normally hear. "You don't think it's too soon?"

"Too _soon?"_   Taako knocked his palm against his forehead, laughed, and then pulled Kravitz in for a hug. "Fella dates me for seventy-three years and he thinks moving in with me is too soon."

With a laugh, Kravitz hugged Taako back, swayed on his feet a bit. "I've only been here for a day."

"And what about all that time before?" Taako hung on for dear life as Kravitz pushed and pulled him in the closet. He wasn't sure what this move was, but he liked holding onto Kravitz for it.

"Those don't count, I didn't know anything."

"You still--okay, look, listen. I get it. From your perspective, you've known me for one year for seventy-whatever years." Taako pulled away just enough to look Kravitz in the eye. "Don't you think one year is still enough before you move in with someone?"

Kravitz looked him over. "Is one year enough time for you?"

"On a normal timeline, hell no." Taako blew out a raspberry and cupped Kravitz' face. "But, listen. I don't--there's nothing that makes me think this. Won't work. And. We're not going to--renovate, for, another seventy years again-- _if we last that long,_ in the Hunger, and--" He paused, and then reached up to kiss him. He kept their faces inches apart but side by side so he didn't have to look the dude in the eye while making his offer. "Look, we just gotta. Take it. While we have the opportunity. Only if you want it, but, don't--don't make excuses."

"You know, Taako, I think you're right." Kravitz planted another sweet kiss on Taako's lips, all matter-of-fact like. "I'd really like to have a space with you."

"So. We're good?"

"If you're good, yes."

"I'm good if _you're_ go--"

"Only if _you're--"_

Taako rolled his eyes and kissed Kravitz to shut him up. Fuck. They were really in an annoying couple phase. But he couldn't bring himself to feel bad about that at all. "I'm good, babe, you've--gotten permission. For that. I'm good, I want that." Taako reached up to hold Kravitz' face in his hands, really hammered in his opinion into the dude's head. "I'm--fucking tired of dragging my feet, here, I--think we're past that."

"I would love that." Kravitz fell apart at Taako's touch, the highest of compliments. "I love you."

"Ye--me too." Taako cursed himself for not being able to say the full thing in the closet. Kravitz said he didn't mind if Taako was shyer doling out affection in public, but this wasn't public. It was a closet. But, he seemed fine getting the light version of the words. "I'm, uh--gonna go out there before they, uh, think we're fighting or smashing."

"I don't want to get accused of either of those." Kravitz screwed up his face in disgust. "Especially not by your sister. You should have heard how she teased me while I got my memories back."

"Ugh, she _would,_ wouldn't she?" Taako made a mental note to kick some sense into Lup later, even though he was pretty sure that'd open him up for more teasing from her. He tugged on the edge of Kravitz' sleeve. "C'mon. We're going to be teased either way, hope you're ready."

"I'm ready for anything." Kravitz smiled wide, let it light up his whole face. "I would never be ashamed of loving you in front of your friends."

"You really are something." Taako reached up to kiss him one last time, and then opened the closet door.

* * *

Davenport held both his hands out, kept a safe distance away from Lup. "Just--please be careful, don't knock anythi--" 

Lup pretended not to hear him, and shoved the sledgehammer in the wall. Magnus cheered on the other side of the wall and looked through the newly-formed hole. Davenport adjusted his safety glasses and grumbled out a few annoyances. With just that one little hit, the whole floor got coated in drywall dust. Good thing they moved all of Lup, Barry, and Taako's belongings to the common room. It made the place look scarily empty, but it was necessary for the mess they were about to make. They let Lup have the first shot because it was her room and it was her idea to renovate in the first place. She'd probably want more shots, but everyone was promised at least one swing, so she would have to pass the hammer over.

_"Yeah!"_ Lup threw the sledgehammer over her shoulder and high-fived Taako. She ran to Barry and held the hammer out to him. "That felt _great,_ holy shit, Barry, babe, you _have_ to try that!"

Barry held the hammer in both his hands, felt the weight of it. He looked at the wall, and then to the hammer, as if it were higher math to rip a hole through the wall. Barry adjusted his glasses and held the hammer right at his waist. He swung half-heartedly and only made a dent in the wall. The twins and Magnus booed him.

"It's not really my strong suit," he said with a shrug.

"You just have to swing harder. It's our room, babe." Lup held onto his shoulders and positioned his arms for a better swing. "Pretend the wall is a psychology experiment with a sample size of less than fifty!"

He laughed, swung his arm up to make another hit. Barry got it through the wall and a puff of drywall dust flew in his face. Whoops. Maybe they should have grabbed the safety goggles from the lab. He pulled the hammer back to him, and did a double-take when he realized it wasn't coming out from the wall. He'd lodged the head into the wall, the handle stuck out weirdly. Lup laughed and kissed him on the cheek.

"Magnus, can you help us out here?" she asked, arm settled around Barry.

"Yeah!" Magnus smiled at them from the hole in the wall and disappeared. But they didn't hear the door from the other room. A few seconds later, Magnus' hand emerged from the other side of the wall and grabbed the handle. He pulled the sledgehammer through the wall from the other side, which made a pretty good sized hole. Merle looked at them through the new hole, which was just short enough for him to grin through.

"Hey, maybe I need a hole like this for my room," he said, and Kravitz' hand covered his mouth before he could even try to finish that mess of a sentence.

Taako wished Kravitz was on his side of the wall for this whole shebang, but Kravitz hadn't spoken to him much in the past week. Ever since they started doing renovation planning in earnest, about a month into the year, he acted weird. He'd freeze up whenever Taako spoke about future planes. He needed a lot of alone time. And, sure, people needed their space, but it was like everything nice that they had at the beginning of the year dissolved away into nothing. Or not even nothing--there was this weird tension between the two that Taako couldn't fix on his own. Kravitz got something stuck in his mind, he thought, but didn't even have the sense to tell him what was up. He denied anything was wrong whenever Taako asked.

Or, Taako assumed he would if he tried.

He was.

Uh.

Afraid to ask.

"You're being dumb, you know," Lup whispered as Merle jammed his warhammer into the wall. Fuck her for being able to read his mind perfectly. He thought twin telepathy didn't exist, but Lup did everything she could to prove that wrong.

"What's he doing?" Lucretia asked, poked her head into a conversation she really didn't need to be in. Great.

"He's in a little baby spat with Kravitz," Lup whispered, didn't even try to hide her laugh. "It's almost cute."

Taako wanted to refute that, but suddenly a Magnus-shaped hole appeared in the wall in front of them. Magnus decided it would be a good idea to tackle himself through the wall. Drywall and wood stuck out of his hair and clothes but he smiled ear to ear, happy with his dumb decision. He handed the sledgehammer to Davenport, who approached the wall carefully and tried to determine how he wanted to tear a hole into it.

"What's going on over here?" Magnus asked, shook all the garbage out of his sideburns. "Why're we whispering?"

Lucretia knocked a huge chunk of drywall off of Magnus' shoulder. "Taako and Kravitz are fighting, apparently."

"Are you guys going to break up?" Magnus looked crushed just from the chance that the two of them would separate. "You just got together."

"Magnus, sometimes couples do that." Barry kept his voice down so Davenport, Merle, and Kravitz couldn't hear during their wall-tearing festivities. "People fight. Lup and I fight sometimes, you just have to apologize and remember you still love them."

Lup reached over to kiss Barry on the cheek. Gross. Even after so many years, they couldn't cool it down (or, actually, they did cool it down--they were a lot more comfortable. It was too sweet and Taako didn't like to think about it too hard, especially while he fought with Kravitz).

"I just don't see Taako apologizing for anything." Lucretia looked Taako over, and then frowned. "Sorry, but it's true."

"I don't have anything to apologize _for,"_ Taako said, frustrated that he couldn't get a word in during a conversation about _his_ relationship.

Lup rolled her eyes. "Fine. What are you fighting about?"

"I--" Taako tried to think of something plausible, but nothing came up. Eventually, with most of his crew staring at him, he had to admit it. "Don't know."

The rest of the crew stared at him, unbelieving. A few of them uttered out a quiet, "what?" and Taako cursed under his breath. This was a disaster.

"I don't have a fucking clue! He's just mad at me!"

Merle popped out from the hole, interrupted their little conversation circle. "Taako, do you want to take a hit?"

"Yeah, sure." Taako stepped away from his sister and his friends. Too exhausted to deal with their interrogation. "It'll get me away from the rest of you."

"He didn't even make a weed joke," Lucretia whispered, just in Taako's auditory reach. Did she think she was being sneaky? "Do you think he's okay?"

"Get the hammer!" Merle shouted, and Davenport lifted the hammer so it was within Taako's reach.

"I don't do hammers." Taako looked around the room, and found Lup's shortsword gathering dust in a pile of garbage that they didn't take out of the renovation space. Fuck it. He knew how to use a sword. Taako walked over to pick it up and lazily stabbed it in the wall, all the way to the hilt. He heard a little shriek from the other side and the swishing of a cape.

_"Taako!"_ Kravitz poked his head through the Magnus-shaped hole from earlier. "What the fuck? That almost hit me!"

"I mean, we're renovating, you shouldn't be standing in sword range of the wall we're _taking down."_   Taako flicked the hilt of the sword, still lodged in the drywall. "Also you're dead, I think you're good."

"If I get mortally wounded I'll revert back into a soul." Kravitz left the visibility of the hole. "If my soul gets damaged, it's all over, you know."

"Yeah, yeah," he said, pretty sure Kravitz was just being overdramatic. One badly-planned sword wound wouldn't kill him. He took the sword out of the wall and turned to Davenport. "Okay, I had my fun, you can--who's next?"

Everyone watched Taako with a look of concern that he didn't think was necessary. They went back to work after a moment of careful silence. Things went back to semi-normalcy. Magnus ran into the wall a few more times. Lucretia was bad at hammers. Lup scorched the wall. But Kravitz didn't say much and he didn't participate a lot, and neither did Taako. Only because physical labor wasn't his _jam_ when there were other people around to do it for him. Not because he was sulking about Kravitz.

"That's this wall," Davenport said, once they got the whole thing down. The debris still sat in a pile where the wall used to be, but they'd clear that out once they got all the walls down. "Are you all ready to take down the second wall?"

"If Taako even _wants_ to," Kravitz said, and it sounded like it meant to be under his breath but he said it just loud enough for the rest of the crew to hear. When the crew stared at him, he lost his nerve and ran out of the room, muttering about how he'd go wait on the other side of the wall.

"Taako." Lup slapped Taako on the back. "Talk to your dude."

"Wh--"

"And then go apologize to him." She nudged him towards the door, didn't leave any room for argument. "Whatever it is."

"I didn't do anything!"

"You don't know that." Lup moved up closer to him and whispered so she wasn't making as much of a scene in front of the rest of the crew, even though they were obviously eavesdropping. "Listen, you've got him for longer now, and that means that you have to put in a little work."

"But--"

"I'm sure he does a million fucking things to make things easier on you." Lup shoved him to the door again. "Do the guy a favor and meet him halfway on this one. And preferably on other ones, too."

Taako knew it'd be easier to stay stubborn and pretend none of this happened. He didn't care what the crew thought of his relationship, that was his business. But. His sister had a really good thing going on with Barry. And, as much as he hated to admit it, she knew more than him in this particular instance. He used to be the one that gave _her_ advice on this shit, but now she had more practice than he did. As much as he wanted to keep things the way they were, he didn't want to lose Kravitz.

So, whatever, he'd go apologize. Fine.

He grabbed the sledgehammer and left the room, ignored the concerned chatter from Magnus and Merle. He set his hand on his own doorknob, sure that Kravitz made his way in there if he was going to wait on the other side of the wall. Carefully, he opened it, and saw the emptied room. Kravitz sulked in the corner, raised his head when Taako opened the door. His eyes went to the sledgehammer.

Whoops. Taako realized how bad it looked for him to come see Kravitz alone with a sledgehammer.

He placed it by the door, took his hands off of it and left it there to be forgotten.

"Hey," Taako said, as careful as possible.

"Hey," Kravitz answered, and hung his head back down.

Kravitz didn't look like he was ready to pick a fight, so that was a start. There still seemed to be something simmering underneath his calm composure, and Taako knew he'd have to pick at that to get this all back on track. He moved into the room and closed the door.

"I'm not mad." Taako figured it'd be a good idea to reassure him of that, at the very least. He tried to keep his voice soft even though he felt like exploding. "I don't know what the fuck I've done, so. Help a guy out?"

That took Kravitz off guard. He watched Taako, tried to determine if he was serious about the whole thing, and softened just a bit. "Okay. Alright. Guess I haven't--said anything. Probably looks confusing from your end."

"It does." Taako moved further into the room, more confident now that he could tell that Kravitz wouldn't run him out immediately. "Do you--not want the. The room? We, uh, talked about it, like, a few times--"

"No! No, that's not it at all, I--I'm looking forward to that. I just--" Kravitz frowned and tried to find the right words. "Don't like it when you act like I'm--temporary."

Oh. Was that it? Taako was over that, he had Kravitz for the foreseeable future now. "Well, uh, I've got you to the end of the year--"

"That's exactly what I'm talking about." Kravitz' voice was strained, he tried to sound calm but Taako could hear the frustration right past the surface of all his words. "We spent so much time trying to get to this point, and you're still--talking like it'll disappear at the end of the year."

"But you'll, uh, come back." Taako stepped towards him. "I know that."

Kravitz shook his head. "It doesn't really sound like it."

Taako knew he had to apologize, because it really was an oversight on his end. He thought he'd hate doing it more, but the sight of Kravitz all twisted up and worried was enough to push Taako over to get his shit together.

"Sorry," Taako said, and noted how Kravitz jumped when he heard it. That made him feel worse about the whole thing, that Kravitz would just assume he wouldn't own his own fuckups. Which, normally, he wouldn't, but. He really did care about Kravitz. "Uh, I--I really do. Think you'll stick around for a while. There's just, uh, gaps. That I have to wait out. I was just--thinking of the, uh, logistics. Of waiting for you." He stood right next to Kravitz, careful not to touch him yet. "But, I mean, other than that, I. Want you. For a long time." He laughed once, tried to lighten the mood. "And, uh. Sorry about the sword."

Kravitz flicked his eyes over to watch Taako, and then looked off to the wall. He looked mad, but still hid it.

"Hey, uh." Very carefully, Taako laid a hand on Kravitz' arm. He didn't shrug it away. Progress. "I didn't even know I was--saying it like that. Wasn't even. On my radar. Didn't do it on purpose, promise. Can you, uh." Taako rubbed at his arm, an aim at being soothing. "Tell me if I do that again, okay?"

"You really didn't mean it like that?" Kravitz asked, careful but less frustrated.

"No, I--you're. Great. And I want--uh, you in my space, that's why we're doing this, and. I wouldn't do that if I was going to. Ditch you at the end of the year." Taako let go of Kravitz' arm, gave him some space. "I was just--thinking. About. What I'd do while you're gone. I'll come back to get you every time we can."

"Okay." Kravitz took in a deep breath. "Okay, that's. That's. Good to hear." He nodded. "I, uh, I guess I really didn't tell you. I'll. Do that next time."

"Thanks." Taako still kept at a safe distance from the guy, even though he wanted to launch into his arms. But Kravitz didn't look to be in the mood for that. "I'm--look, we both know I'm bad at this whole thing, but. I'm not--trying to actively sabotage this, like. I want to keep you."

"That's reassuring." Kravitz reached forward and clasped Taako on the arm, the bare minimum of physical contact. "To your own credit, you, uh. Did a great job this time."

"I mean, Lup told me to."

"But you listened." Finally, Kravitz cracked a smile. "I know how stubborn you can get."

Taako laughed. "Can't, uh, can't argue with that."

"Uh, no, shit that was--rude. I--it's not you, I'm just. Really pissed." Kravitz shied away from Taako, that frustration bubbling right under the surface of him. "And now I'm not really mad at _you,_ but, just. In general. Does that make any sense?"

"Sure, babe, crystal clear." Taako walked to the door and picked the sledgehammer up. "You want to blow off some steam with this?" He held it out in front of Kravitz and nudged his head to the wall. "I mean, if you still--want to be. Here. Like, I mean, you're always, uh--welcome here."

He frowned. "Like a guest?"

"Right now, sure." Taako held the head of the hammer and pointed his thumb to the wall. "But, uh, not if you tear down the fuckin' wall. Then, you're stuck with me. If you want that."

Kravitz took the sledgehammer from Taako and bounced it in his hands to test the weight. For a moment, Taako was afraid he'd put the hammer down and walk away. But he swung it full force into the wall, expelling debris forward to hit Barry in the face. He didn't seem to notice, though, and turned back to look at Taako.

"I do want that." Kravitz finally looked him in the eyes, sledgehammer in hand and a wide smile on his face. "To be stuck with you. It sounds delightful."

And, geez, how could Taako not run up to kiss him after that? Just a short little peck, because Kravitz still felt tense, but he needed to do something. Kravitz reached forward and hugged him. It didn't last very long because, again, dude was still pissed off, but enough to ease Taako's worries. Cool. They just had a fight and got through it like adults. He assumed it'd be harder. Maybe it would be, if they fought about something more serious. But the whole thing felt more solid now that they both got that out in the open. It almost felt better than their first night together, and he definitely felt closer to Kravitz. Funny how that worked.

"You two are gross," Lup said, but she couldn't wipe the smile off her face.  

"Do you want a go at it?" Kravitz asked, and offered the hammer to him. "More cathartic than the sword."

Taako got one swing in and decided the hammer really wasn't for him. Still, it was worth it to see the smile on Kravitz' face. Helped him feel like he was carving out a space for both of them. He sat back for the rest of the wall demolition. Kravitz wasn't back to full capacity yet, was still a little snippy and on edge, but he was more of an active participant and didn't purposefully ignore Taako. The event was a hell of a lot more fun once the fight simmered out.

Kravitz sat down next to the wall to wind down after the destruction. Barry and Lucretia already got to work clearing out the debris. Davenport and Merle had a measuring tape along the space where the wall used to be so that Lup and Magnus could go out to get more drywall. Taako figured he could spend a couple minutes to check in on his boyfriend again.

"You feeling any better?" Taako asked, and slung an arm around Kravitz' shoulder.

"Still pissed off," he answered, and shrugged Taako's arm off. He sighed and offered a kiss on the cheek as an apology. He stood. "But it's wearing down. I'm going out to clear my head, I'll come back to help paint the wall after I feel better."

Taako stood too, fidgeted with his hat. He didn't know what to say, but didn't want to just let him go without saying anything. "Sorry for, uh, almost impaling you," he said, surprised at himself that another apology came out.

Kravitz blinked, also caught off guard. "Oh. Uh. It's alright, Taako." He smiled warmly once the actual extent of the words cut deep into him. "I was on edge, it would have taken a lot more than a sword to keep me down."

"Good. I want to keep you for as long as possible."

"I know that now." Kravitz smiled and kissed Taako on the forehead. "When I come back, do you want to go and plan on how we're going to decorate this place?"

The idea of making a space with Kravitz almost stopped Taako's heart entirely, but he managed to squeak out an answer, nodding his head furiously. Kravitz smiled at his enthusiasm and left. Taako levitated some of the debris out of the room. He didn't even notice Lup's teasing of his goo-goo eyes or how Magnus yelled about how relieved he was that they stopped fighting.

Things were good, even if he had to fight for it a little bit.

* * *

Taako pushed the door to his (and Kravitz', now that they got everything renovated) room open with his hip, balanced an elaborately crafted breakfast tray in his hands. He pulled out all the stops for this one. His aunt's pancakes (even if he had to substitute the berries--couldn't find blueberries on the plane), the omelet that Magnus and Merle literally died for once, a very thick piece of toast (not Fantasy French toast; Kravitz just really liked Taako's from-scratch bread), some fruits from the plane, conjured bacon, and a very tall glass of orange juice (Taako would have gone for a mimosa, but Kravitz hated alcohol in the mornings). Kravitz sat in bed, lights on--oh, boo, Taako hoped to catch him still asleep--and moved to jump out of bed to help Taako through the door. 

"Nope! No, stay right there--" Taako pointed at Kravitz, which caused the tray to slip out of his other hand. He cast a quick levitation to get everything back in order, slammed the door with his foot, and caught the tray before dismissing the spell. Even so, Kravitz still moved like he wanted to get up and help. "I've got it, I swear," he said, and walked over to sit the tray down in front of his boyfriend.

"Taako, what's all this?" Kravitz inspected the tray. From the look on his face, he caught on that this was all for him, but the _absolute dork_ still asked. Too fucking polite.

"Well, uh, you're leaving today, so, I just thought--" Taako fell onto the bed (wow, fuck, that was a good mattress--didn't even rock the tray) and sat on his elbow, eyes up at Kravitz. "Listen, I don't have to explain myself to you. Are you gonna let me spoil you or not?"

Kravitz smiled, and then covered it with his hand. "Whatever you want, Taako."

"Yeah, well, I want to spoil you, c'mere." Taako gestured Kravitz over to him, made Kravitz get into an awkward crawling position. He kissed Kravitz shortly, and then shoved him onto his side, his face landing right in front of the tray. Taako sat up and handed Kravitz a fork. "Don't know when the next good year will be."

Ignoring the fork, Kravitz leaned up for another kiss. "We'll be able to see each other again the next time necromancy is legal."

"Again, don't know when that is," Taako said, in a voice that was a lot more quiet and unsure than he originally meant it to be. "Gotta do this while I can."

"Geez, it's like you love me or something," Kravitz said, his nose scrunched up in Taako's most favorite way.

"Blasphemy, I'd never." Taako kicked the tray and Kravitz lunged for it, kept everything balanced. "Are you gonna eat this or not? Because if you don't want it, I could always, like, throw it in Magnus' room."

"On one condition." Kravitz placed the breakfast tray squarely in between him and Taako. "I want you to share it with me."

He couldn't help but smile. Taako had been planning on stealing parts of Kravitz' breakfast anyway, but. Kravitz was just that good. "Well, geez, babe, you've twisted my arm." Without any warning, Taako conjured another fork out of thin air and speared a pancake.

"No-o-o--" Kravitz moved his fork to grab the pancake. "I wanted the top one."

"They're all the same, m'dude." Taako kept a tight hold on the cake. "All my baking is consistent as fuck."

Kravitz stuck out his lower lip, overdramatic with big puppy dog eyes. "No, the ones on the top are always the softest."

Through a series of complex mental calculations, Taako tried to weigh the pros and cons of eating Kravitz' favorite pancake. Pros: He gets a pancake. Cons: Kravitz _doesn't_ get the pancake. This breakfast was specifically for Kravitz, so shouldn't he get the best parts of it? He didn't know when he'd get Kravitz again, when Kravitz and him could get another morning like this. Taako thought it would be better to let Kravitz have the most enjoyable morning possible. Taako looked at the fork, and then at his boyfriend. At the fork, at his boyfriend. Fork, boyfriend.

And then he snatched the pancake with one swift motion, shoved the whole thing in his mouth.

"You--" Kravitz reached towards Taako, horrified. "Taako, you're going to choke on that!"

Taako couldn't really answer, not with all the pancake in his mouth, and instead just tried to chew it all down. He didn't have a whole lot of room to chew, could only move his jaw a couple of centimeters. This was hilarious for both of them, until Taako felt like he was about to gag on this pancake. Taako reached for a napkin and spat out the majority of the pancake out on it, looked Kravitz in the eye, and started eating the half-chewed pancake off the napkin.

"Gross." Even still, Kravitz moved forward to pat Taako on the back. Worried for his safety. But he still had enough sense to look disgusted at the display. "I thought you were a chef."

"Secret chef technique," Taako said, a normal amount of pancakes in his mouth. "We call this one _baby birding."_

Kravitz rolled his eyes and cut into the second pancake like a normal fucking person. "Was the part where you shoved the whole pancake into your mouth called _owling,_ then?"

"No, I just did that out of spite." Taako held out his gross, half-chewed pancake napkin in front of Kravitz. "Want any?"

"Taako, babe, I love you? But not in a million years." Still, he kissed Taako on his cheek. Consolation prize. Good enough for Taako.

Breakfast was quiet. Neither were desperate for affection like they were the night after Kravitz got his memory back. This felt comfortable, not anything temporary, but something that would last a very long time. Taako still felt a little clingy, but the edge was chopped off. Another year with the dude and he'd be fine, he thought. He enjoyed the newness of it all while he had it. They would have time to fall into something more comfortable later. Taako would be ready for it when it came. He looked forward to it, not knowing if it would be the year after or if he'd have to wait a while.

Anyway. Kravitz offered to share his breakfast, so Taako went all out. Okay. Not _all_ out, but enough to get a good breakfast for himself. But he _did_ get the best of the best, because he was the one that made it. Fluffiest pancake, check. Nicest looking piece of fruit, check. The soft part of the toast, where it was perfectly brown, check.

It wasn't until Taako stole the corner of the omelet with the most fillings that Kravitz stood up for himself. He used his fork to keep Taako's locked in place. "If you're just going to steal all the best parts of my breakfast, I might have to take the rest of this for myself."

"You already established this was _our_ breakfast, so. You have to pay the boyfriend tax." Taako tried to wrestle his fork out of Kravitz' lock, but was unsuccessful.

Kravitz chuckled. "Don't you also have to pay a boyfriend tax?"

"That _was_ the breakfast, I believe." Taako pulled on the fork. _Nothing._   Kravitz didn't give even a little bit. "C'mon."

"I could let you go in exchange for something,"

"Like what?"

Kravitz leaned in closer and grinned, dipped his voice low into a register that Taako would normally go crazy for. _"You know."_

Taako dropped his fork and tumbled backwards, pointed a finger right at Kravitz. He groaned when he watched the good corner of omelet disappear into Kravitz' mouth. "You can't proposition me like that!"

"You just made an assumption." Kravitz grabbed another forkful of omelet. "I meant, in exchange for more pancakes. Because you ruined mine."

"If you wanted more pancakes, you should have said so instead of waggling your fuckin' brows like you're some kinda evil sex baron." Taako picked his fork back up and got a less-appealing looking bite of the omelet. Still good, but not as good as teasing Kravitz out of a better one. "I'll make you so many pancakes you'll be shitting them out to get in more."

"That just sounds like another fetish," Kravitz said, lips frowned over his fork. "We know each other well enough that you can tell me your worst fetishes, Taako, I won't make fun of you."

Taako rolled his eyes and kicked Kravitz in the shin. "Sounds like a guy that never wants another pancake from me."

"You'd never." Kravitz leaned forward to kiss him on the cheek. Not even a little frightened. No fun. He turned back to finish off his breakfast, pulled Taako close so they could be together. It was nice. Most of these quiet moments with Kravitz were nice. "I felt like we got to know each other a lot more," he said out of the blue.

"Definitely better than going on the same date again, for sure."

"I'm going to miss you next year." Kravitz set the tray away from the two of them and held Taako close. "I won't know it, but I will."

"Hey, if--if necromancy's good again, then, uh, you can come back here for the year." Taako secured his arms around Kravitz and dropped his head on his shoulder. "Place is open whenever you need it. It's, uh, yours too."

"I like having a space with you," he said with a smile in his voice.

"Should, uh, should--should get another one. When this is all over."

Kravitz stayed silent there, as if he were afraid to break the moment. When he pulled backwards to look at Taako, he wasn't overjoyed. He searched Taako's face. Taako wondered what he wanted to see. He must have found it, whatever it was, because Kravitz' face lit back up like a Candlenights bush. He held both of Taako's hands in his and said, "we'll just have to get rid of the Hunger first."

Taako felt a rush of something overflowing and crashed his lips onto Kravitz' before he could think too much on it. The year was nice, but he wasn't ready to face those big future decisions yet. Soon, probably, but he needed more time with a full-minded Kravitz. Thankfully, when they pulled away, Kravitz didn't interrogate him on the subject any further. Because he was scarily good at reading Taako.

Kravitz already said his goodbyes to the crew the day before, but they all pushed the two to spend the eighth day from the Hunger alone together. Not a problem at all in Taako's book. He'd take a whole day to have Kravitz to himself. At first, he thought it would be fun if they went out to do something. But they weren't able to get the Light that year, so it was a little sad to walk around a city that they both knew would be gone in a week. Taako knew Kravitz didn't need any more reminders of the Hunger's destruction.

So, they just took a day in. It was nice, not doing anything, just quietly chatting to each other. It was strange, how Taako didn't need to do anything super interesting with Kravitz to have a good time. He just liked _being_ with the guy, it felt right. Felt a little on edge because he knew it would end soon, but he knew exactly how to get Kravitz back the next time he was friendly.

"I think it's time for me to go," Kravitz said a few hours later, and moved from his spot underneath Taako.

"Already?"

"Unfortunately." He stepped off of the bed and stood right where Taako laid. "I'm looking forward to us."

"Yeah." Taako leapt out of bed to join Kravitz. He wanted to give the guy a proper sendoff. If he didn't see him for a few more years, he didn't want to leave him with a halfhearted wave goodbye. "This was--fucking fantastic."

"Let me just," Kravitz said, and then held Taako by both shoulders to kiss him. Taako shrugged Kravitz' hands off so he had a little bit more control of his arms, reached forward to hold him tight in the kiss. He committed every movement to memory and every point of contact buzzed under the surface of his skin, wanting more but knowing he wouldn't have it for a while. Kravitz had the sense to pull backwards, even though Taako whined at the loss of contact. He stepped away from the bed and straightened his back. "I'll see you later, love."

"I love you," Taako said, and noted how easy the words came to him. There wasn't any doubt in his mind.

"I love you too." Kravitz leaned to kiss Taako on the head once more. Couldn't help himself.

With a small flourish, Kravitz disappeared into a fine mist.

Taako didn't get a lonely pit in his stomach from the loss. He knew that wouldn't be the last time Kravitz would stay with him. He'd miss having him to sleep at night, but Kravitz had to go off on missions during the week anyway. It wouldn't be too much different, and after a whole year with _his_ Kravitz, Taako was a little more solid in himself. Didn't have that desperate edge to all his actions.

He'd still ride off a bit of a honeymoon phase when Kravitz came back, but things were different now. They still had a time limit, but it was a hell of a lot more than ten minutes. That was enough time to develop something deeper, especially since Kravitz would remember every good year after.

He planned to shower Kravitz with affection the second he came back next time around.

Until then, he'd turn his attention to running.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i'm BACK! sorry about that week delay. i got a hella bad case of food poisoning, and this chapter was. twenty thousand words. so. uhhhhhh, it took a while! thanks for your patience.
> 
> anyway!!! yeah!! they got kravitz. which means. the faerun chapters are coming up...soon. :) there's still some stolen century stuff I have to get through. but then. they're going to faerun and nothing bad will happen, everyone will remember each other, and the hunger will go away!!! right? probably. 
> 
> next year is....lich year >:3c


	18. Cycle 82

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Taako pretends to be straight. Kravitz gives a blessing. Lup and Barry do something illegal.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> content warning: someone gets wicked drunk in the third section of this chapter! but they're taken care of and nothing bad happens to them, it's cool

Taako left the lab with soul Kravitz under his arm. Cycle eighty-two didn't have any people, so they scooped him up out of the Astral plane on day one. That was some tricky business, too, because when they touched down on this planet, there was something funky going on with the planes. But they did it, and hooked up Kravitz with the hacked-together spells Barry came up with to give him a jump-start him when he was found and friendly. It had been a few years since he had all his memories, so this year would be a nice treat. Taako had ship guard duty while Kravitz caught up to his memories. He knew it'd take a while for Kravitz to get over the disorienting feeling that the memory retrieval gave him, but Kravitz swore a little bit of head nausea at the beginning of every year was worth it if he could see Taako.

To make the process easier, Taako just minded his own business. He let Kravitz hover near him, offered some calming words when his form fizzled and popped in distress. He didn't like seeing Kravitz so confused and frazzled, but he'd be fine in a bit, he told himself.

Soon enough, the ball of light rushed out of the room. After a couple minutes, the door to Taako and Kravitz' room opened, and a fully-formed Kravitz peeked his head out. A half-elf, but not directly from an elf and a human, it seemed--he looked like the type of half-elf that came from generations of half-elves, where it was impossible to determine what percentage of each race he came from. He wore a very outdated set of clothes, puffy and large and all black. Didn't have his hair out in any twists or braids, but it coiled up against his head tight. Same face as always, but it looked more natural on this particular body.

"Hello, love," he said, and stepped into the room to greet Taako.

"Oh, dunk! That's a cute look." Taako walked over and kissed him, held both his hands on Kravitz' shoulders as he inspected this year's look. "Is this original flavor Kravitz?"

"The very same." Kravitz stepped back and held his hands out, looked down at himself. "Well, with the exception of a few minor tweaks. The perks of having full control over your physical form, you know."

Taako perked up and took another look at Kravitz, curious this time. "Oh, sweet, what'dya change?"

"Nothing cosmetic." Kravitz' smile turned shy and weaker, and he shrugged.

"Yeah, makes sense." Taako knew not to poke at that. It was only fun to tease Kravitz about fun things, not in a way that would get the two of them into a fight or hurt Kravitz' actual feelings. Taako did care about him and his well being, and after a few years with the guy, he knew when to stop digging his nose places it shouldn't go.

Kravitz looked around the Starblaster, surprised to see it empty. "Where--"

"Checking to see if there's anything cool on the planet. Needed someone to stay behind on the ship for you." Taako tapped him on the cheek and winked. "It was either gonna be me or Barry."

"I like Barry, but I love you." The energy drained out of Kravitz once he realized it was just him and Taako alone. Taako wasn't the only one that learned to let his guard down when the two were in private. The action made his heart skip regardless. Kravitz put a hand to his head and lowered it. "My head is a little tired, though. I might go lie down for a bit."

"Need anything?" Taako asked, because _fuck_ if he was about to let Kravitz out to dry. He still needed to tweak his strategy to get Kravitz back to full energy at the end of every year.

"I'd love to have you join me," he said, and made his way to the couch. "We don't get the ship to ourselves too often."

"Okay. Alright, uh, pick something to watch, maybe, I'll grab you some tea." Taako ran to catch up with him and dropped a quick kiss on his head. "Get your head back on right."

"Thank you, babe."

With a wink and a smile, Taako went into the kitchen. After a few years of helping Kravitz through this, he was well on his way to perfecting the recovery process. Mostly, Kravitz just wanted to keep it quiet for the rest of the day, maybe have a nice dinner. Nothing too rowdy. He tried not to speak with multiple crew members until the second day in, could only process one or two people at a time. They avoided conversations about the past on the first day, just in case a memory had extra trouble getting down the pipeline. Tea, though. Tea helped.

Taako walked back into the common room to find Kravitz settled on the couch, in simpler and comfier clothes. He just wanted to look nice for Taako earlier, the sap. Joke's on him, Taako preferred to have the guy comfortable for maximum cuddling potential. He slid a mug into Kravitz' hands and kept one in his own, threw on a soft blanket that Davenport made during a cycle where he got super into knitting. They watched Fantasy Netflix and took in the tea slowly. Lazy. Unhurried.

Eventually, Taako couldn't take the silence. He hadn't seen Kravitz like this in a while. Needed to catch up. "Didn't get to get you caught up to speed last year, but that was--"

"The tenth year since we've been able to have years like this?" Kravitz beamed at him, finished his tea, and set the mug down. He brought Taako into his arms in earnest. "I know. I've been counting."

"I mean, you haven't--uh, we aren't at ten years _all together_ yet, y'know, since you keep chasing us around." Taako levitated his mug onto the table. He wasn't done, but he'd much rather snuggle in with Kravitz than drink some leaf water. "Pretty close, though."

"We really need to do something nice when that year rolls around." Kravitz rested his head on top of Taako's. "Ten years with someone, that's...a long time."

"Is it?" Taako thought for a good, long moment. Ten years out of the eighty-whatever they were on didn't feel like a lot of time, especially since ten years was like one year to an elf. Kravitz didn't have much of an excuse either, since he served his goddess for centuries after his death. "Barry and Lup forgot their tenth anniversary and did something last minute."

"I was only married for two." Kravitz shrugged under him. "Most people don't get that far."

Taako grinned to himself. It was kind of mean, but he loved it when he got evidence that he was better than Kravitz' first husband. He wasn't jealous (okay, he was a little jealous, when he first heard of the guy) but there was something great about winning out Kravitz' ex in every category. "Can't really imagine this _not_ working out, though."

Kravitz chuckled and squeezed him tighter. "You really are kind of a sap."

"You tell anyone and I'll unravel your soul." Taako turned around to kiss Kravitz, left him dazed and blinking when he pulled away. Taako grinned at him, happy that he could do that to the guy even after so many years. "It's just for you."

"I'll treasure it." Kravitz reached up to kiss Taako again. He was always just a bit more affectionate at the beginning of a good year. "Sorry for throwing you in the Stockade last year."

"Hey, at least the warden was hot," Taako teased, moved his hand under Kravitz' shirt to knead at the tension in his neck. "Didn't crack from all the flirting, though, kind of a shame."

His eyes fluttered shut and he leaned further into Taako's touch. "I told you I'll think you're tricking me if you go for that immediately."

"It was still fun." Taako added a bit more pressure to Kravitz' neck. "Not like you were going to let me go anyway."

"You were cute." Kravitz' hands coiled around Taako's waist, and his voice dropped to a low whisper. More intimate than Taako would have been comfortable with ten years ago. "I did think about you in my off hours. Nothing scandalous, just a lot of curiosity."

Taako huffed out a quiet laugh. "Not even a little scandalous?"

Kravitz thought about it for an extended moment. "I think you popped up in my thoughts once, but I was mortified. I think I prayed to the Queen to have it go away."

There was nothing quiet about Taako's next laugh, and it left him shaking. Kravitz joined in too, until they both laid horizontal on the couch, knocking into each other with every wave of laughter. It was a little painful and kind of awkward, but Taako couldn't bring himself to complain.

"I love you," Kravitz said, barely audible over his bubbles of laughter.

Taako had enough practice being soft with Kravitz to not be caught off guard by the surprise declaration. He also had enough practice to reach over and cup Kravitz' chin to say the words back. Kravitz stopped laughing but didn't stop smiling, and seconds later both their lips were pressed together. Nothing frantic or possessive or desperate, just something quiet that showed a slow buildup of something deeper over the course of a decade. After a minute, though, Taako felt Kravitz freeze up on the other end. He pulled away.

"You good?"

"Yeah, just--my head still hurts." Kravitz rubbed at his temple and laid back into the couch. "Just need to rest it."

"Need me to stay?" Taako asked, scratched at his scalp a little to try and ease the headache.

"Please," he said, and Taako turned around to lay in his arms. He could kiss his boyfriend later, now it was more important to let the guy rest. They sat in near silence afterwards, watched Fantasy Netflix for a few hours. It was nice not to have to entertain anyone, to just be able to exist without expectations.

The rest was interrupted by a loud thunk the Starblaster's door made as Lup kicked it open.

"Hey, boys!" Lup ran into the ship, the Light cradled between both her hands. She held it out in front of her excitedly. "Got the Light!"

Taako poked his head over the couch to look at her. "Already?"

"Yeah, and that's not even the best part, we--" Lup looked over the couch and saw Kravitz, all decked out in comfy clothes and the nice blanket. He didn't normally let the rest of the crew see that, so she poked at the top of his head and laughed. "Oh, wow, you got comfy. This is adorable." She pulled Taako off of his boyfriend and pointed to the window, determined not to get distracted. "Anyway, remember that weirdness we saw when we touched down?"

Taako stumbled off of his oasis of a boyfriend and looked out the window. "Yeah?"

"The plane of magic is, like, vivisected through the Material plane." Lup grabbed at Taako's arm, took a pen out of her jacket pocket, and drew a little diagram of the planes on Taako's arm. "There's _so_ many abandoned libraries and shit down there, it's fucking awesome! I'm just dropping this off to go check shit out, who wants to come with?"

He looked at the diagram she drew on him (gross, he hated how the ink felt on his skin) and grinned. This would prove to be interesting. He talked over his shoulder to Kravitz--he didn't need permission to leave the ship, but he didn't want to leave him alone if he felt awful. "Babe, you okay on your own if I go check out the planet?"

"Yeah, I was thinking of sleeping this off anyway, I think I'm through the worst of it."

"Rad!" Taako ran over to the couch and dropped a kiss on Kravitz' head. "We'll go out later, okay?"

"Sounds lovely," he said, and then pulled himself off the couch. He held his head and shuffled off towards their room. "I'm going to go take that nap."

"Hold on, let me grab my shit." Taako ran in the room before Kravitz could get to it, grabbed his bag and threw over one of his big robes. He kissed Kravitz on the cheek as they passed each other in the hall. Kravitz laughed softly, no doubt thinking about how bad Taako had it. Taako ignored this and ran out to meet Lup, and they left the ship together.

True to her word, there were lots of these huge halls laying out. No people. It unsettled both of them to walk the streets and see them so empty when it was obvious that there should be thousands of people around. Taako had the feeling there was some bad accident with the plane's inhabitants that left the plane of magic in the middle of everything. But, fuck it if he was going to mourn something he didn't know about. He was here to reap the benefits of their mistakes. He stopped caring about the people in these planes a long time ago, he wasn't about to start now.

Lup ran ahead of him a few steps, shouting behind her. "I'm going to go check out the huge necromancy school with Barry."

"Oh, god, is he getting to you?" Taako jogged up to catch up with her. Checking out the transmutation building would have to wait, egging his sister on was always top priority. "Barry Bluejeans, turning my sister goth."

"It's not like that, dingus," she said, and elbowed Taako. She waited for him to rebalance himself before continuing her walk. "I mean, like, sure, I spend a lot of time watching his research, so, that was definitely the starting point--"

Taako scrunched his nose up. "Remind me not to touch his necromancy books."

"Gross, that's not what happened." Lup rolled her eyes and walked faster. "But I like it all on my own, it's not just 'cause my boyfriend's into it. It's cool and spooky and--"

"--and might get you offed by my boyfriend one of these years?"

"Oh, please, I'm not the one that keeps getting caught by him trying to restore his memory during bad years." Lup turned around and ruffled Taako's hair as if he was twelve. "I know what I'm doing, y'know."

"Yeah, it's just weird that everyone in this family wants to be spooky goths." Taako shrugged off her condescending pat on the head and kept walking. "Next thing I know, you'll all start to get me tomes bound in human skin for Candlenights."

"He's not that type of necromancer," Lup said, well on her way to another eyeroll.

"He's got a wand made out of his femur."

"It's decorative!"

Taako blew a breath out of his nose. "I've seen _you_ cast with it before."

"Listen, Taako, it's just--we need every advantage we can get, right?" Lup purposefully ignored all of that, tried to steer the conversation away from all that. Which was fair, but Taako would definitely go back to teasing her later. "It'd suck if we all died in the same year, y'know? What would happen?"

"I don't know." Taako shrugged and aimed for nonchalance, but he knew Lup would see through that pretty quick. "Don't, uh, I don't really. Think about that."

Lup looked him over. Nope. She didn't buy that for a second. "Don't you?"

"Maybe a little." Taako couldn't look her in the eyes. It was too early in the year for him to be honest about anything. "I mean, I try not to."

She let out a breath and gave him a sad look. Definitely didn't believe him. Thankfully, she didn't look like she was going to grill him on this. He wasn't emotionally prepared for a conversation like that. She did, however, walk up to hug him.

"We're going to get out of this mess," Lup said, her arms firmly around Taako. She spoke slowly, as if she was trying to remind herself. "And then we're going to kick back and forget all this ever happened."

"Yeah." Taako hugged her back. She probably needed that more than he did. "That's exactly what we'll do."

* * *

Awesome, cool, this plane had a lot of libraries and nerd books.

Bad news: Taako didn't have much to learn in the huge sprawling library dedicated to transmutation. He already knew how to turn himself into a goddamn dinosaur. He knew how to jump planes and cast his own soul out of his body. Hell, if he wanted to, he could turn a vampire back into a regular non-blood sucking citizen. Taako was pretty good at wizard magic, he had eighty years to study that past all the baller shit he already knew about when he first started the mission.

But he didn't know a lot about performance, and was generally a bad actor, so he figured it wouldn't hurt to study up on ways to improve his performance. The bardic college he found was fancy as _fuck,_ maybe too fancy for its own good. Real bards were the ones that followed behind adventurers and wove magic into all their performances, but this stuffy rich-people's bard shit would have to do. It wasn't like he had a teacher around.

Kravitz gawked at the stack of books Taako levitated off the shelves and into the air. "You're going to work on your _voiceover reel?"_  

Taako dropped the stack of acting books on one of the marble tables, flared his nose out as dust flew in his face. He prestidigitated the dust off his front and looked at Kravitz with both hands on his hips. "Why else would I come here, babe?"

"I thought you were going to learn an instrument." Kravitz sat at the table and dropped his chin into his hands, moping. "I swear, you'd look hot with one."

"That's because you have the world's most specific fetish," he said, snorted, and rolled his eyes. Fuck, Kravitz could be ridiculous sometimes.

"And you're depriving me of it."

Taako rested his legs on the bench, really gave himself some space. No librarians meant he could study at whatever comfort levels he wanted. Maybe he could get a pillow and some blankets in there next time he rolled up to study. "Would it help if I took some sexy 5x7s of me with a cello?"

"Please don't even joke about that, that's..." Kravitz sat up a little straighter, took in a deep breath, and drummed his fingers on the table. "I'd like to see that."

"Well, now I know what to get you for Candlenights this year." Taako reached over the table to give Kravitz a quick kiss and then slammed one of the huge books in front of him. More dust flew up as he opened the pages, but it was that good book smell, so he didn't really mind. "Anyway, time to hit the fuckin' books."

Kravitz tilted his head to the side, one of the cutest little actions Taako thought he did. "You're going to learn acting from books?"

"Nobody here to teach me." Taako thumbed through the top book on his stack, feigning boredom.

"I mean, I'm here."

Taako turned his attention to Kravitz and raised a brow. "And?"

He shrugged. "I've been a bard a few times."

"You _what?"_   No, nope, fuck the books. For now. He'd get back to that as soon as he could. This new information broke Taako and he needed answers. He slid his stack to the side. "And you didn't tell me?"

"You didn't ask me what class I was! I don't think you've ever asked." Kravitz pulled the stack of books to his side of the table and blew dust off their spines. "I might be an emissary for a goddess, but I still have to play by the handbook."

"Boring." Taako took a good, long look at Kravitz and imagined him in the puffy pants and a feathered hat. "So, a bard?"

"When I was alive, yes." Kravitz folded his hands together. He knit his brows together in the way he always did when he tried to remember something really far back. He remembered everything, sure, but that was centuries ago. "I wanted to be a conductor, but, uh--"

"Shit happened?"

"Mostly death, but. That worked out for me. I had a pretty good deal, even if it derailed my life farther than I'd ever thought it'd go." Kravitz smiled and held his hand out halfway over the table, open and waiting for Taako to take it if he wanted it. "I don't regret any of my decisions, because they brought me here."

Taako took his hand and squeezed it. Then he decided he wasn't emotionally equipped to keep holding it, and took his hand away. "Have I ever asked you what you died of?"

"Consumption," he said, and didn't seem too bothered by the question.

"You mean TB?"

"We called it consumption." Kravitz smiled, the left side of his face more scrunched up than the right side. Fuck, this guy was cute. "My homeworld wasn't as technologically advanced as yours, remember."

"Right." Taako leaned on the table and shot a borderline evil grin at Kravitz. "So, _do_ you have anything to teach me about all this? You look like you'd be a good teacher."

Kravitz laughed and shook his head. "I wasn't an auditory bard, I worked with instruments."

"Thought so. It was a long shot." Taako pulled the stack of books back in front of him. "It's fine, I've got a lot of reading material here."

"Still, do you think you can learn all of this just from books?" Kravitz sat up in his seat to take a closer look at the huge stack. "They're not exactly an audio medium."

"I'm a wizard, you know, I--how do you think I learned wizard shit?" Taako dropped the book he had from before in front of him and cracked it open once more. Dust flew everywhere, and both he and Kravitz had to cough it away. "I'm _amazing_ at book learning."

"You're amazing at a lot of things," Kravitz said, drowning out Taako's attempt at reading the first paragraph of the book in front of him.

Taako brought his eyes up to glare at Kravitz. "If you're here to distract me, this won't work."

"What else do you expect me to do?" Kravitz spoke lightly, as if the two of them were playing some sort of game.

"You're in a bard college, bard boy, study some shit on your own." Taako stiffened his voice. No, he wasn't here to flirt. He wanted to get some actual work done, for once, and did his best to voice that.

Kravitz looked him over and tried to determine if this was flirting or serious. He must have found some evidence to the truth, because he nodded and stood from the table. "Fair enough. I'll go see if I can find some books on music theory, it's been a while."

"Good luck," Taako said, eyes on his book, thankful that Kravitz got a clue. He loved it when Kravitz knew when to back off. They were well out of that clingy honeymoon stage, it had been years, and both of them liked a good, healthy amount of alone time. He didn't watch Kravitz leave the room. Already absorbed in his work. He wasn't at his best at studying without Lup--that was how they got to be such great wizards, of course, studying together. But he knew he'd get distracted studying with Kravitz, and he didn't seem interested in learning voice work from books anyway. It wasn't like Taako was incapable of studying solo, but he had the feeling it would take him longer.

He hadn't realized how much time had passed until he glanced up at a window and saw stars instead of clouds. Taako shut the book. Studying over. He didn't bother to put his selections back. No librarians, nobody else on the planet, he could just come back to this stack later. First, he needed to find Kravitz and hope that he got just as absorbed in his stuff as Taako got. He found a wing that looked to be more music-centered, and knew immediately where Kravitz was when he walked in the halls.

Because, well, who else would be playing piano? Ghosts?

Taako followed the sound of the piano until he heard it loud and clear on the other side of a door. He looked through the door's window and saw Kravitz, full concentration, and smiled. Fuck, he was cute when he was focused. Couldn't see his face, but he was pretty sure the guy had his tongue sticking out. He wondered if Kravitz felt the same way when he watched him cook. That would explain why he asked to watch so often.

The music was pretty, but Kravitz was obviously in practice mode. He went over the same section multiple times, kept stopping right in the middle of everything. Must have been unhappy with how that specific section played, but Taako couldn't tell the difference. The section was pretty, and he thought he played it fine. It did seem complicated, but it wasn't like Taako could see the sheet music in front of him. And even if he did, he wouldn't know how to read it. Whatever. He'd ask Kravitz to give him a private concert later, probably, so he could see him do the real thing.

But, now, Taako had an opportunity. He'd read up on dialects for four hours and hadn't gotten much chance to practice. He cast disguise self and made himself look like a rough-looking human. He thought for a few moments about how he wanted to play this character, and then steeled himself for the performance.

"Hey, stranger!" Taako kicked the door open. He made his voice gruff, but it oscillated between a bunch of indiscernible accents. "The name's _Greg_ , and let me introduce you to _mai waife!"_

Kravitz stood there, slack-jawed and eyes wide. He looked Taako up and down, unsure of what to do. Taako grinned, proud that he broke him so thoroughly. It took a minute, but Kravitz saw through the disguise and calmed down. Perks of being able to see someone's soul. But, after he calmed down, he flung himself off the cliff of sanity again and dissolved into fits of laughter. Taako smiled wide. He loved it when he was able to get Kravitz incoherent and snort-laughing.

"What the fuck _is_ that voice?" Kravitz asked, once he collected himself enough to form a full sentence.

Taako held his arms out, showing off. "It's my straight guy disguise!"

"The voice is good," he said, and wiped away a tear that squeaked out during his fit. "But I don't think you can pull that specific disguise off."

"I've only been here for a day, I can workshop it." Taako crossed the floor to sit next to Kravitz at the piano. He slipped an arm around his waist, and Kravitz bat his hand away.

He frowned at him, serious. "Please drop the disguise if you're going to flirt with me, Taako."

"You don't think I'm cute like this?" Even with the teasing question, Taako scoot an inch away from Kravitz. He waited to see if Kravitz asked for an out again.

"Well, I wouldn't be dating you if you were straight, so no." His voice was flat and not at all flirtatious, so he wasn't into it. Fair enough, the Greg persona was a little weird. It was probably weird to flirt with him with a different face, too.

"Fair enough." Taako switched his face back to normal. He held out his hands to frame his original Taako face and grinned. "This better?"

"Yes, that's the face I love," Kravitz said, and then dipped down to kiss him on the nose.

"That's good." Taako barked out a laugh and snaked an arm around Kravitz'. He pulled the two of them off the piano bench, ready to go. He was done studying for the day, and Kravitz distracted him anyway. "It's two of a kind, and they're both sticking around."

Kravitz allowed himself to be manhandled off the piano. He broke off into laughter again. "I'm glad," he said, and his eyes shined in that way they always did right before he squeaked out an _I love you._ He didn't say it, though. Sometimes he said it in the mornings and he always said it at night, but not much in public anymore because he knew it scared Taako to be so open when they weren't in private. He didn't need to say it every five minutes anymore. They both knew it as a fact, and didn't have the need to question it.

But, fuck it, Taako felt a little brave that day, and he reminded Kravitz that he loved him on their way out of the bardic college.

He wasn't caught off guard, they'd been together for too long for either of them to be surprised by the admission. But his smile grew wider and he said it back. Not that Taako needed to hear it, but he _liked_ to hear it, and it looked like Kravitz needed to say it. And afterwards, they didn't launch out and gush for half an hour, because they were used to it.

And, really, Taako preferred that to the frantic ramblings of two people that could only speak to each other ten minutes at a time.

Things settled into a pattern, and he was surprisingly okay with that.

* * *

Exhausted didn't even cover how Taako felt.

Okay, first off. He was a little tipsy from that Grey Goose, even if it was conjured. He only conjured one bottle, but he was pretty sure he made it bottomless? Fuck. He couldn't remember. He should have kept track of how much he actually drank. Second, he did kind of pour his heart out to work on Lup's good day, and running from that DMV really took the wind out of him. Thirdly, Lup said she was going to turn into a _lich_ with Barry, which was so fucking horrifying to him that he didn't even have the mental strength to unpack that whole thing. And then, he didn't want to scare her off of something she obviously put a lot of planning and thought into, so he had to pretend like it didn't shake him to his fucking core.

What was she thinking, turning into a lich? Did she want to get hunted by Kravitz _more?_

Of course, he wouldn't even try to talk her down on the idea. This was the sort of thing she'd never budge on. He could try and get Barry off the ticket, but Lup might go run off and turn into a lich herself if Barry changed his mind. They needed to go at it together, in case anything happened. Best Taako could do was make sure she stayed safe through the whole thing, create more good memories up until the day she decided to get it done.

And he'd ask Kravitz about all this, because liches were his business, and _fuck, shit, what would he do if his boyfriend had to put his family in ghost jail forever?_

His head swam with hundreds of horrid scenarios of them taking down the Hunger, settling down, finding an actual home, and then having his sister and her boyfriend ripped from his life forever. Taako stumbled through the door to his room and found Kravitz in bed, reading some bard book they found in the nerd library.

"Oh, you're back." Kravitz set his book down and turned his attention to Taako. Didn't hop out of his spot immediately to greet him. He didn't do that after a while, they fell into something comfortable years ago. He normally wouldn't turn his full attention to Taako, either, but he probably looked like a big mess, judging by the careful way Kravitz looked at him. "How did it go? Barry said you had him on turkey duty all day."

Taako didn't have the energy to answer him properly, and dropped himself on Kravitz, arms draped over his shoulders and head on his chest, the soft fabric of the comforter a barrier between the two. He must have looked ridiculous, but he couldn't be bothered to care, the Grey Goose in his head made sure of that.

"Taako?" Kravitz' arms wrapped around him. He watched Taako for a few moments, and the realization of what happened hit him pretty quick. He knew him so well. "Oh, love, you're drunk--stay right there, I'll get you some water."

Was he drunk? It was just the one bottle. The. Uh. Magically never-ending bottle. He was just tipsy, and was otherwise in top shape. Still, Kravitz carefully lifted Taako off of him and slid out of the bedsheets. Taako didn't have the energy to say anything in return, but he vaguely heard Kravitz say something about pajamas at the edge of his awareness. Taako fumbled his way over to the dresser and decided that pajamas were too much work. He just grabbed one of Kravitz' big shirts and kept his trunks on. That counted as pajamas, right?

It really didn't matter, because soon enough his head made contact with the mattress and he felt himself start to drift off. His nap didn't last long. Kravitz came back in moments later, and Taako felt his eyes watch him closely. Kravitz laughed and ducked down towards the bed to give him a kiss on the top of his head.

"You're too cute," he mumbled, and set a glass of water on Taako's nightstand. "Here's some water, it'll help."

Okay, Taako was _way_ more out of it than he previously thought. He could only process a few words out of Kravitz' sentences. Something about water. He didn't need water. He just needed sleep. Taako took a pillow and jammed it over his face. His brain was too scrambled to give proper answers. He still thought about Lup and Barry, Kravitz lifted the pillow off and smiled at him with fond exasperation.

"I probably shouldn't be surprised you went overboard with Lup, she tried to outdrink me once."  He laughed lowly and shook his head. "I didn't tell her I can't get drunk, which was my fault, but--no, c'mon, we don't need your hangover splitting your brain in half, you really should drink this." He reached for the glass on the nightstand and forced it into Taako's hands.

Even completely shitfaced, Taako knew that Kravitz would bother him endlessly until he drank the thing. So he did. He was a bit sluggish with it, and he swore Kravitz used magic to refill the glass right before he finished it (or maybe he _was_ just that drunk). He knew he'd have to get up to piss in the middle of the night, but, _whatever._ He handed the glass back to Kravitz once he finished.

"There you go." Kravitz set the glass back down on the nightstand and smiled at Taako. He kissed his cheek. "You'll thank me in the morning. Let's get you to sleep."

Sleep sounded good, but the whole conversation with Lup still sat in his mind. He sat up with the intention to ask Kravitz if he took _all_ liches to the Stockade, but only managed to get a string of frantic mumbles out, none of them coherent.

"Is something wrong?" Kravitz watched him with concern now. He held both his hands on Taako's arms, kept him steady. "Taako?"

He watched Kravitz with wide eyes, brain churning as it tried to process...everything. Everything he'd done that day. Was it enough to ground Lup? He would have tried a lot harder if he knew that her entire existence was on the line. And, like, he tried hard, she told him to, but. He could have done better, right? Fuck, he spent too much time letting her nap instead of packing in more fun shit. He could have given her three wands at the DMV. He didn't even make _side dishes_ for the turkey, what if that was the line between his sister staying alive (kind of) or disappearing forever?

Kravitz' voice snapped him out of his own spiraling thoughts. "Taako? You look like you've seen a ghost."

"Lup's going to turn into a lich," he said, words slurred together, not even taking the time to ease into the conversation. His nerves got the better of him and he needed some confirmation from Kravitz as soon as possible.

"That's, um." Kravitz blinked, dropped his hands. Couldn't look Taako in the eye. "Quite the surprise."

Even with his head swimming in goose, that looked fishy to Taako. Shouldn't Kravitz flip his shit over two of the crew members breaking the laws he was made to uphold? Taako didn't want to be the one to shoot down Barry and Lup's dreams, but he expected Kravitz to march in there and lecture them on the dangers of hard necromancy. Like, sure, he didn't want them to fight, but he did want Lup to get a little sense put into her. This was dangerous, right? Not just for this year, but for all years ahead of them. Why was Kravitz so chill about it?

"Is it?" he asked, as intimidating as he could while shitfaced. "Is it, a surprise?"

"Yes, that's, uh--" Kravitz blubbered about for a few seconds before he dropped the act. He sighed, reached up and straightened out one of the coils of his hair nervously. "No, she and Barry asked me about it."

Taako wasn't sure if it was the alcohol or if it was the remnants of his bottled up feelings from his conversation with Lup, but the idea that the two of them came to _Kravitz_   before him made his blood boil. "You didn't tell me?"

To his credit, Kravitz stayed calm, even though his face was locked in fear. "She made me swear not to. She wanted to be the one to tell you. I'm sorry."

"Why'd you get to know first?" If he was sober, that would probably come out sounding more defensive. But Taako already felt a lump in his throat, knew some bigger emotions were about to rise over the horizon, and it just sounded pathetic.

"They wanted to know if I'd be more aggressive chasing them if they were liches." Kravitz sat himself down next to Taako on the bed, spoke to the wall instead of directly at him. "And, depending on the plane, I would. But since they would start out in their bodies at the beginning of every year, it'd be harder for me to detect them."

"So it was--a safety thing." Taako deflated. It wasn't because Lup hated him. She weighed her options before telling him. Not that his brain let him make that connection yet, he was still tangled in a hazy mess, but the pieces were there for when he was in his right mind to put them together. "Is it? Safe?"

"Something like this is never safe. But if they were going to do it in any plane, this would be the plane to do it in." Kravitz spoke slowly, like he was afraid he'd set off a mine if he said the wrong word. "Since they don't have to do any sort of--uh, living innocent sacrifice or anything to become a lich in this plane, I could--it would be easier for me to plead their case in the future."

"Is that--"

"We should talk about this when you're sober," Kravitz said as he stood up from the bed. He looked back at Taako, and then to the floor, and then back to Taako. He saw Kravitz make a move for the door. "I can--if you need some time alone, I can leave for the night. No hard feelings."

 _"Don't!"_ Taako said, hasty and frightened, before he could catch himself. And then, calmer: "Don _\--_ don't leave."

"Okay." Kravitz stood at the door, unsure of what to do. He didn't see Taako this far gone very often, he wasn't the type to get plastered on a regular basis. Tipsy, sure. But he was about two sips from complete incoherency, and normally Taako would kick him out when he got drunk enough. He knew he was a lonely drunk, and he didn't want that to spill out normally. But, fuck, tonight he couldn't give a shit. Thankfully, Kravitz walked to sit next to him once more, even though he was out of his element. "Okay, I'll, um. I'll stay."

Taako wasn't too sure what to do with him now that he got him to stay. If Lup were here, he'd hang off of her and babble on for a few hours, but he wasn't sure if Kravitz would cotton to that at all. The annoying lonely voice he got in his head when he was drunk told him to scoot over and cling to Kravitz, and there wasn't anything stopping him from doing so. Kravitz' hands fumbled around for a few seconds before they settled on Taako's back, hesitant.

"Taako?"

"Fuck, don't--don't tell Lup about this, just--" Taako forcefully fixated himself further in Kravitz' arms, needing the contact. "Give me a minute."

"Okay." Kravitz held him more securely. He was out of his element, but he could follow directions. "Okay, take your time."

He wasn't sure, because of how out of it he was, but Taako was pretty sure he just...fell asleep on Kravitz like that. He didn't meditate, didn't dream. He clocked out for a long time, right on Kravitz. The alcohol finally took him down.

As soon as Taako woke up, he realized how goddamn pathetic he was the night before.

Okay, wait, that was untrue. As soon as Taako woke up, he needed to pee. But as he got that business done, he thought about the night before and remembered how goddamn pathetic he was. So much so that he stayed in the bathroom for a good five minutes, face burning, wondering how he'd ever show his face to Kravitz. And then his head pounded, threatening to split his skull in two. Whether that was from the alcohol or the previous day's conversation or both, he couldn't tell.

But he could only stay in the bathroom for so long. He cracked the door open and saw Kravitz awake. Fuck. He'd look suspicious if he closed the door, so instead he just stood in the open door frame.

"Good morning, love," Kravitz said, careful and afraid that Taako would bolt at any moment. Which wasn't much of a wrong assumption at all. Taako felt like he needed to run immediately, but he went ahead and got back into bed. Kravitz didn't immediately wrap arms around him. "How are you feeling?"

"Shitty." Taako huffed and fixed himself firmly in his sheets.

"I assumed that would be so." Kravitz still kept his distance. Overly polite. Taako hated when he got like that. "Sorry I'm here, you asked me to stay with you last night."

"I remember that much," he said, annoyed, and closed some of that distance between them. "It's fine, nothing you haven't, uh, seen before."

Kravitz suddenly looked very nervous, and pushed Taako away. "We didn't do anything."

"Again, like, I know, and you'd--you'd never, okay? I know that." Taako inched himself all the way into Kravitz' grasp. Didn't leave him room to argue. "Head just hurts, that's all this is."

"Okay." Finally, Kravitz' hands settled around him. They stayed silent for a long stretch of time, neither wanted to be the one to acknowledge the previous night first. But, because he was the honest one, Kravitz was the first to cave. "Do you want to talk about--"

"You said they're fine." Taako clutched Kravitz' shirt. "So they're. Fine. I guess."

Carefully, Kravitz placed a kiss on the top of Taako's head. "I can see you worrying."

"Of course I'm--fuckin'-- _worried!"_ Taako broke out of Kravitz' hold and laid on his back, legs bent and moving nervously under the covers. "My sister's going to turn into a _lich!_ You fuckin'--you _hunt_ liches! What's going to--the--goddamn, Candlenights are going to be so awkward when my boyfriend and my sister are trying to kill each other in the middle, y'know, that's--not-- _fuck!"_ Taako rubbed at his eyes, could feel stinging at the back of them, but, _hell no,_ he wasn't going to break down in front of Kravitz like that. Not on his watch.

Kravitz sat up and held his hands out, ready for action. "Taako, calm down--"

"How do you expect me to do that?" Taako propped himself up on his elbows and looked at Kravitz accusingly, even though he wasn't specifically mad at him. "Sorry, babe, but if you--if you reap my sister in the last plane we go to, that's--we're done, you know that? Like, I love you and everything, but Lup--"

"Taako--"

"And-- _Barry,_ goddamn, he's--if this was his idea and it goes wrong he's-- _fuckin' dead,_ absolutely, one-hundo-percent, no questions asked, I'm--" Taako's mind raced, now that he had full control of it. He just spat out what was on his mind, no regard for filters or any of his usual walls. "And why the _fuck_ did they talk to you before me, it's like--leave your own _brother_ out of the loop, Lup, thanks, great job, I'd tell _you_ if I was going to go bind my soul to my ma--"

"Taako." Kravitz held a firm hand on his shoulder and looked directly at him, eyes more serious than anyone had a right to be in the morning. "Please. You're going to give yourself a worse headache."

"I _just--"_  Taako's head dropped back to his pillow with a _thwump_ and had to hold back from bursting into tears. No. Not in front of Kravitz, unacceptable. "It's. A lot."

"It is." Kravitz pulled the covers off of him, and sat on the edge of the bed. "Okay. Here's what I'm going to do: I'm going to get you some more water, and then I'll answer all of your questions. Lup doesn't have to know about this conversation. I'll be completely honest, even if it's bad." He stood up, careful in all his actions. "But no yelling, and you have to keep calm. Is that okay?"

"I guess."

Kravitz nodded. He took the glass from the night before and went into the bathroom. The sound of the sink was the only reassurance that Kravitz didn't get the water from the toilet. He came back into the room, stiff and uncomfortable, but still ready for the conversation.

And they talked. About the procedure. The exact steps they'd have to go through, the spell components they needed, the runes they'd use, lots of arcane jargon that would go over most people's heads. Taako's grip on the sheets lessened as Kravitz explained the process. He nursed the glass of water and listened to Kravitz carefully. He still felt tense, but knowing what exactly they would go through helped. It meant that he could do something to save them if anything went wrong. As much as he hated to say it, they did their research on this. It would probably be okay. Kravitz said he'd be there as a safety net. Taako knew he'd insist on going, too.

Still, Taako couldn't get the bad taste out of his mouth.

"They're going to be fine." Kravitz ran his thumb along the back of Taako's hand, soothing and calming. "I've checked all their work. It's perfectly safe."

Taako finished the rest of the water and set the glass down on the nightstand. "In what universe is pulling your soul out of your body _safe?"_

"The universe we're in right now. I've never seen necromancy work the way it does in this plane, Taako, this is the least risky way they could do this."

"But what if--"

"Taako," he said, and reached over to hold his jaw in his hands. "They're my family, too. Do you think I'd be here supporting this if I wasn't one hundred percent sure both of them would come out alright on the other end?"

All of the fight left Taako hours ago, and now he was just afraid. He thought Kravitz would shut this down and tell them not to endanger themselves. He didn't expect him to be _okay_ with al this and help make it safer. "Why aren't you more pissed about this?"

"It's not like they went behind my back to do it. They're not bad people, I know that, and they're doing it to--to make all of us more safe. It's not something I'm fully comfortable with, but. I'm not comfortable with the Hunger, either. We have to do something different." Kravitz let go of Taako and dropped his hands to his lap. "The liches I see at work aren't...like them. And, fuck, I know that makes me sound like a hypocrite, but there's a fundamental difference between somebody sacrificing innocent lives to fuel their own greed and a couple of people that need extra security net to try and save the multiverse.  And I'm not so much of a fool to--to try and keep following the rules, like this. I will love and follow the Raven Queen to the ends of the universe, yes, but if I need to pardon a couple of liches to save her and everyone I care about, then. I'm going to play dirty." He frowned. "I'm tired of running, too. We've exhausted all of the safe options, we need to go a little riskier."

"When they asked me if I would have to take them when this is all over, they were ready to fully abandon the idea if I wasn't positive I could make a case for them. Which I will, when the time comes, I--Taako, I promise you, I'll do anything to make sure they're not taken from you when this is all over." Carefully, Kravitz laid a hand back on Taako's arm, doing his best to be as comforting as possible. "Their biggest worry was leaving you alone, Taako. You're not getting left out."

"It just seems like something they could'a run by me first." Taako spoke with a tight voice. He felt pinpricks at the back of his eyes and did everything he could not to let any leaks out. "I wouldn't have stopped them, it's physically impossible to stop Lup, but. I would have liked a heads-up."

Kravitz opened and closed his mouth a couple of times. Tried to find his words. "Stop me if this sounds fucked up, but don't you think your day you planned out for Lup would have been warped if you knew what was going on?"

"I mean--" Taako stopped in his tracks. His mind raced with different possibilities, things he could have done different, ways he could have improved his sister's day. It wasn't perfect, he didn't know what was on the line when he planned it. "Could'a done better."

"It was a perfect day, Taako." Kravitz frowned. "You told me what you had planned, and--that DMV thing? I wish I had been there to see it."

"That, uh, yeah. She did love that." But it still didn't feel like enough, somehow? He could have done better. His sister's life was on the line, here. "Just kind of feels like I could have gone a little harder, there."

"You would have been too nervous if you knew otherwise. She loved it. It'll keep her together."

"I just don't know what I'd do if--" _If something happened to Lup,_ is how that sentence should have ended. But simply _thinking_ about that threw all of Taako's thoughts out of control. He couldn't focus anymore on not crying, and finally snapped. He felt his face screw up in something gross and not presentable to his boyfriend. Before he could fix that, the damage was done. His face was wet and sticky and he just couldn't stop crying, just from that one thought. _"Fuck,_ shit, that's--"

"Oh, shit, Taako--"

Taako turned away. He didn't want Kravitz to see this.

Kravitz was his boyfriend, practically a life partner at this point, but Taako didn't give up crying privileges so easy. Sure, he'd gotten to a point where he could be emotionally open to most members of the crew in an emergency, but crying? Nope, couldn't do that in front of anyone who wasn't Lup. If he really needed to squeak a couple tears out, he'd rather do it alone than in front of anyone who wasn't Lup.

Except.

Doing this in front of Kravitz felt okay. Taako thought he'd want to run, thought it'd be the worst thing in the world to show this to Kravitz. But there was a part inside of him bigger than the fear of losing his brand, the part that loved Kravitz and cared about him, and that section of his heart forced Taako to turn around and launch into Kravitz' arms.

"Do you need me to leave?" he asked, careful, like the moment would shatter into pieces if he spoke.

Taako hit him on the back. "What does it look like?"

"I really need to hear you say it, just in case."

"Stay," he said, and didn't bother to worry about how weak it sounded. "I want you here."

So Kravitz stayed.

For a long time.

And--this was fucked up--it was nice.

Like, the crying wasn't nice. Obviously. And the feelings associated with them were pretty bad. But having Kravitz made everything suck less. Other than an extremely worried look on his face, Kravitz didn't make a big deal of it all. He scooted forward and slipped an arm around Taako. Didn't acknowledge the situation with words, just allowed it to happen quietly. Once the bulk of the crying died down, Kravitz handed him a handkerchief because he was gross and old fashioned. Taako didn't even take the time to notice the feather embroidery on the edges. He had to magic it clean five or six times over until his nose was dried.

When he handed it back to Kravitz, clean but thoroughly used and rumpled, they both let out a shaky laugh.

"Don't--" Taako wiped his eyes and pointed a finger at Kravitz. He tried his best to look menacing, but had a feeling it didn't go over as well as he wanted. "Don't tell Lup about. Any of this. If she, uh, really wants to do it, I don't. Want to be the reason she doesn't."

"I won't," he said, sounding painfully honest. His hand moved across Taako's back in wide arcs, grounding. "Are you alright?"

"I'm, uh, I'm good." That wasn't a lie, Taako did feel better now that he let that loose. It wasn't as awful as he thought it would be. The next time shit hit the fan, he'd probably be fine rushing to Kravitz for comfort if Lup was unavailable. She'd still be first, but it was nice to have backup. "Got it all out, y'know."

"Sometimes that helps." Kravitz moved some hair out of Taako's face and watched him, tried to hide that bewildered look on his face. "I've never seen you cry before."

"Well. Uh." Taako moved forward to hug him so he wouldn't have to look him in the eye. Only so much emotional rawness allowed per day, and he used up a week's worth in an hour. "Get used to it. Lup won't--won't always be glued to me, and, it's. Kind of cathartic. Sometimes."

"I'm glad you're comfortable enough around me." Kravitz kissed the side of head, and Taako could hear the smile in his voice. "That means a lot, you know."

"Means a lot that you're cool with it." It meant more that Kravitz knew how important crying privileges were and didn't freak out about it. Taako scrubbed his eyes with the inside of his forearm and eradicated any traces of his crying fit before he showed his face again.

He gathered his thoughts. Okay. If Kravitz, the fucking _death cop,_ was okay with the lich thing and confident that it would all turn out okay, that was enough for Taako. Or. It would be enough for him later, but it would take him a little time to get to that level of comfort with the situation. Lup and Barry wouldn't do this if there was a large chance of failure. Lup wouldn't ask Taako to do a day for her if she was being reckless. "It's--really going to be fine?"

"I will personally ensure that the three of you stick together, always." Kravitz took Taako's hand in his and kissed the back, because he was endlessly sappy and gross.

"The four of us," Taako corrected.

Kravitz stalled for a moment, surprised, and then broke out into a wide grin. "The four of us, you're right." 

"Then, sure, let's convert the rest of the family into goths." Taako moved out of Kravitz' grip. He held his head again, which only got more irritated from the crying. "I'm, uh--I'll yell at Lup later for not telling me immediately, but. I still have, uh, probably the worst hangover in my life right now?"

"I'd imagine so, you were _incredibly_ shitfaced." Kravitz dropped a kiss on Taako's forehead and left the bed. "I have to go help Lup and Barry with some preparations, are you alright to fall back asleep on your own?"

"Yeah, I'm alright." Taako shuffled under the covers and laid down, mumbling into the air. "Make sure they're good, yeah?"

"If I see them doing anything dangerous, I'll stop it." Kravitz opened the door to the room and called out before he exited. "Feel better."

Taako didn't answer, but he was well on his way to follow those directions.

* * *

The ceremony was short. And quiet. It didn't feel as big as Taako felt it should be. Just Lup and Barry and him and Kravitz on top of a peaceful hill. If Taako wasn't so worried, he'd tease Barry and Lup for how much it felt like a wedding.

Kravitz fussed over them and the setup right up until the second they took each other's faces in their hands. He held Taako's hand as Lup and Barry had their own private moment. They hugged in front of some weird whalebone pillar and exchanged a few words that were too quiet to hear even a few feet away. They kissed, and Taako didn't even have the mind to look away. If this was his last moment with his sister, he needed to memorize every second of it. He couldn't stand the idea of her leaving, but he needed to be prepared if it was. She would haunt him forever if her exit out of his life was mundane or forgettable, if it was anything short of amazing and special. Not all exits are made equal, but Taako knew she'd demand the best, when that time came.

But then Kravitz squeezed his hand and Taako had to remind himself that this wasn't the end of anything. Not of his sister, not of Barry, not of his family. Things would be fine, he'd been reassured of that dozens of times over the past few days. As much as it made him sick to his stomach, he put his full trust in all three of them and hoped this would go right.

Barry waved at Taako, and Lup gave him a cheeky, overconfident smile, and then both of them fell to the ground. In the place where their bodies stood were two floating red-robed figures, out of control and sparking off bolts of red electricity that nearly miss the hearts of the bodies below them. Taako couldn't pull in a breath, and instinctively clutched Kravitz tight. Kravitz held a steadying arm around his waist, and Taako elected to ignore the shiver he felt, because it was easier to believe this would all work out alright if he could pretend Kravitz wasn't as afraid.

Soon, but not soon enough to stop Taako's heart from performing triple flips in his ribcage, the robed figures calmed down. The bolts of electricity lessened and curled in towards the robed forms, and made them solid.

The form over Barry's body nodded and floated downwards.

The form over Lup's body stared for a while.

And then she dabbed.

And then she lowered into her body.

At least Taako could take comfort knowing the procedure didn't change their personalities.

Lup went to Taako first, hugged him solidly so he knew she was okay. And he didn't snark at her, he didn't laugh or make jokes, he just. Held on for a little bit. He saw Kravitz inspect Barry a few feet away, but because he didn't hear Kravitz let out any sounds of fear, he elected to ignore that.  

Without many words, the four of them made their way back to the ship, content to keep that afternoon a secret from the crew for the time being.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ao3 was down when i first tried to post this so fingers crossed that everything worked out!!!
> 
> anyway, just two more chapters left in the stolen century, and then it's faerun time!
> 
> next chapter: puppy town


	19. Cycle 86

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Taako has some long talks.

Cycle eighty-six.

Puppy town.

Taako wasn't much of a dog person. Like, they were okay in theory. Taako had to admit they were kind of cute. But in practice, he didn't want them jumping on him or touching him, and definitely not licking them. These things lick their own assholes on a regular basis. No thank you. He'd feed the puppies some of the scrap meat when he made dinner, but that was about the extent of his explicit care for the things.

Magnus, on the other hand.

His joy was indescribable.

The rest of the crew ran a pretty consistent gamut. Lup was in line with Taako, tolerated the dogs and played with them but didn't go out of her way to be with them. They found out pretty quick that Barry was allergic, but he would pet them anyway. Lucretia was fine with the dogs outside of the ship, but she kept getting into fights with Magnus, not wanting dogs on the ship because they kept running off the damn thing. The puppies were immortal and forever young, but the sight of them falling off the ship still made her wince. Davenport was fine with dogs that were smaller than him, but the bigger ones made him nervous. Merle seemed to hate the dogs, but feigned indifference.

Kravitz, though? Kravitz loved the things. He was a dwarf that year, so most of them were as big as him, but he still loved them. They found him in a little temple a month into the year with a multiclassing necromancer-slash-cleric that was responsible for all the immortal puppies. It was a project the Raven Queen blessed, to the surprise of everyone. It didn't make much sense why she would do something like that, until Kravitz smiled and explained that the Lady Istus was extremely fond of dogs. Magnus had to bond with him over dog training for a few weeks before he agreed to come on their ship, and it took another whole week of convincing for Taako to get him on board with the memory retrieval thing.

But, of course, as soon as he remembered, Kravitz and Taako fell back into their own predictable patterns. It was starting to become a comfort to Taako, that he'd get his boyfriend back exactly as the way he was at the beginning of some years. This year was a bit different, though, because Kravitz spent a lot of time fawning over these cute puppies. He'd stop on the side of the road in the middle of their dates if he saw one that he liked. Taako teased him and said he'd probably be able to ride one if he wanted, and then Kravitz got a twinkle in his eye and saddled up on a fully grown Saint Bernard.

It took an hour for Taako to find him. 

Taako wasn't jealous. In fact, he was the opposite of that--something about watching Kravitz take care of puppies was...good. In a weird way. It tugged at a few of Taako's heartstrings. He couldn't put a finger on why he liked the image so much, but he catalogued the feeling for later. Maybe he'd be able to put a name to it at some point, but he doubted that. It was weird, because Taako thought he was  _done_ with getting new feelings for Kravitz, but apparently there were things larger than what he already had. So really, he was more excited than he was jealous. He'd figure out why watching Kravitz taking care of little puppies did things to him later. 

Except, in the meantime, it did eat at him.

What the  _fuck_ was this?

One day, Taako couldn't take it anymore. He walked over to Kravitz, rubbing the belly of a particularly excitable husky puppy, and slung an arm over his shoulder. "So. You a dog person?"

"Huh?" Kravitz' hands paused on the dog and he looked up at Taako. His expression softened once he processed the question. "Oh, uh. I don't really choose sides. I just--like them, I guess. Both cats and dogs?"

"Makes sense," he said, even though it didn't make much sense at all to him. "I'm in the mood for cheesecake, want to join me?"

"Sure." Kravitz pat the dog on the belly one more time and stood up. They made their way to the ship. Taako tried to figure out a system for them to hold hands while they walked, but Kravitz was just too damn short that year, so they gave up on that. Kravitz let them walk for a few minutes before he spoke up again. "They're just cute, I guess. Something to take care of."

That pinprick feeling in his heart came back when he heard  _something to take care of,_ but, again, Taako shoved that down to process later.

"Yeah, but they're just so fucking energetic. Even kittens aren't like...well, look at that," he said, and pointed off in the distance. Magnus had at least ten dogs on him, pinned to the ground. He waved at the two as they passed by, but then went back to being drowned in dogs. Kravitz squinted to look at the scene and laughed.

"Kittens are still really energetic, you know."

"Yeah, but, they're cuter."

"You're a cat person?" Kravitz watched him from below with an amount of scrutiny that he didn't normally hold to Taako. "I thought you didn't ever want pets."

He hadn't thought of it much, but this year, as he watched Kravitz with these dogs, it was a pretty appealing image. Maybe these new feelings were...something about cats? Did he want cats with Kravitz? He did, sort of, but he had the feeling that his heart was talking about something bigger than cats. But. That could be a start.

Taako scoffed and turned his face at an angle so Kravitz couldn't see. "I didn't ever say that."

"When we buried Templeton," he said, and Taako tried to recall exactly what he said. That was so many fucking years ago, how could Kravitz remember that? Did the Raven Queen give him weird memory powers, too? Or maybe immortals were better at keeping those smaller memories. Didn't do him much good when he couldn't remember his own family half the time.

"I don't remember that? But, I wouldn't want a rat, they're cool but not in my house." Taako finally schooled his face into something more presentable and looked down at Kravitz with a healthy amount of nonchalance. As if he wasn't sifting through his feelings on the backburner during this whole conversation. "Cats? They're chill. They understand me."

"I can see that." Kravitz waited until the two of them made it to the ship deck before asking his next question. "Weird question, but would you want a cat?"

"Not on the ship." Taako held the door open for Kravitz to walk through. Nobody could say he wasn't a perfect gentleman to his boyfriend (okay, a lot of people could say the opposite and be correct, but Kravitz would still disagree and that's what counted).

"I meant off the ship." Kravitz nodded at Taako as he passed through the door. "When you're safe."

"Hm." Taako walked to the kitchen and leaned on the counter, eyes to the ceiling. Kravitz entered in right after him, watched as he made the decision in his head. Taako tilted his head down towards him and shrugged. "Probably? Depends on the cat."

"Oh, sure." Kravitz pointed towards the fridge. He couldn't reach the handle too well, since they took away the handle extension because Merle kept sticking gross things in there. "Cheesecake?"

Taako pulled the fridge door open and found the half-eaten cheesecake he made the day before. Frankly, they were lucky nobody else ate the rest of the tin (although, Magnus was kitchen banned for the year and Lup couldn't eat food--she got lich'ed pretty early in). He pulled the cake out and took two forks out of the silverware drawer. "Hell yeah, let's eat this in our room."

Kravitz huffed and followed him. "If you get cheesecake on the bed, I'll never forgive you."

"I know _magic,_ I can just. Magic the cheesecake off the sheets." Taako looked at the door to their room and made a split second decision. He transmuted a second, lower doorknob so Kravitz could reach it without assistance. Kravitz made a small sound of thanks and they both walked in.

"Whenever you magic the sheets clean, I can feel the remnants of the magic on there," he said, smoothing out the comforter and hoisting himself up on the bed. "It's fine to sleep in for a night, but we have to actually clean the sheets when you magic stuff off of them."

"Yeah, okay," he said, and waved a hand, but filed away the information for later. He'd have to get into the habit of washing them without magic, but he wouldn't be caught dead admitting that. He'd just claim he ran out of spell slots. And, weirdly, that gooey feeling in his heart came back at the image. Huh. Maybe his brain finally wanted him to go be domestic with Kravitz? That sounded like it was on the right track, but he'd circle back to that on his own. He set the tin between the two of them in bed and handed Kravitz a fork. "Cheesecake?"

The cheesecake didn't survive the encounter. Within half an hour, the tin was completely empty and placed on the nightstand. Taako managed to get Kravitz sweet on the idea of a nap, and laid his head on his very small boyfriend's torso. Because, listen, he wasn't about to give up little spoon privileges just because Kravitz was a dwarf this year. Thankfully, Kravitz tolerated it, took it in stride. Hell, he probably loved it. Which meant that Taako could fall asleep on him without any shame.

Which he did.

Usually he wouldn't dream of Kravitz when he was there in bed with him, but watching Kravitz with the puppies got him extra sappy. He definitely wanted to have cats, because Kravitz was so happy with those dogs. Something to take care of together. And, fuck, that was just such a good image, a wonderful dream. It made Taako smile in his sleep and cuddle closer to Kravitz. Years ago that might have scared him away, but he was comfortable enough in his own relationship. Something domestic like that wasn't frightening. It was a goal. That definitely explained the newer warm feeling in his chest, even though Taako had the feeling there was still something more to it he missed. He'd figure it out.

"Taako?"

"I'm awake," he said, even though he was very much not awake. Damn Kravitz for being so fucking comfortable. Taako opened his eyes, only managing to get them up a crack. Felt like there were weights tied to his eyelids. He did see a very confused face looking at him. "What?"

"I heard you purr," Kravitz said, voice urgent. Taako groaned, he knew where this conversation was about to go.

"We've talked about this before, elves from my plane don't purr." Taako closed his eyes and turned his face away from Kravitz. Nope. He wasn't going to have this argument again. Kravitz swore he heard it every few years or so, but since he didn't have any way to prove it, Taako managed to get him to stop bringing it up lately. Why'd he do this again now? "That's fucking ridiculous. Not a furry."

"That wouldn't make you a furry, dear." Kravitz spoke more forcefully, didn't immediately drop the accusation like he normally would. He kept a firm hand on Taako's back, as if searching for the hidden vibration. "I heard you."

"Mhmm, yeah, whatever." Taako didn't have the energy to smack this down. He could feel himself drifting back off to sleep. "Think what you want."

Thankfully, Kravitz quieted down enough for Taako to go back to sleep. It was a good thing he dropped it, because Taako really was comfortable there. The puppies in the plane wore him out. Felt like he was always running from some dog that smelled his pocket pudding. He stopped carrying chocolate pudding for that very reason, and he was getting tired of tapioca. And, sure. Taako knew that's just how dogs were. He wasn't going to be an ass to dogs because of that. But he wouldn't want to ever actively keep on in his home, _Magnus._ Kravitz brought up cats, though, and the thought stayed in his mind. Not because he was super into cats at the moment. Just. The idea of taking care of something with Kravitz made him feel things that he wasn't ready to fully confront yet.

Still, it was a good image. Him, Kravitz, and a cat. Two cats? He'd think of the number later. Him, Kravitz, two cats, and--they'd have to live somewhere, yeah? Like, the ship was nice, he was glad to have this room that was both of theirs, but he couldn't stay there forever. He didn't want to stay there forever. He wanted...more than that. More than the Starblaster, more than a cat.

He made a split decision, right there: Taako wanted to...fuck, have a  _family_  with Kravitz? That's what this new feeling was? Really?

Taako didn't ever think he wanted that, but there he was. Wasn't his fault that Kravitz was just...a great dude. Dad material. He could take care of things, like the dogs, and that...right, that's where that feeling came from. Taako wasn't much of a dad, he didn't even remember his. But he remembered his aunt. It wasn't like he never had positive adult figures growing up, he'd figure it out. And it wasn't like he'd have to deal with a baby. Sure, he could use a whole barrage of magic to make a kid alchemy-like between the two of them, but it'd be easier and more appealing to Taako to just pick one up, half grown. Maybe even a teen or something. It wasn't something he wanted right then, hell no, and it certainly wasn't something he wanted for, maybe, half a century after the Hunger? But it was on his list of things he wanted. Wow. Shit. 

That little epiphany didn't immediately send him into a nervous lockdown.

Progress.

Instead, the thought made him want to curl up closer to Kravitz, so he did. Whenever Kravitz was smaller than him, he still wanted to lay _on_ Kravitz, but the physics of that didn't always work out so well. Dwarf Kravitz had enough weight to him where Taako could sling an arm around his waist and hold him close as he slept, and that was close enough. He was in something between meditation and sleep, something without a name, but it was comfortable and he wanted to stay there a while. He laid his cheek on Kravitz' chest and felt--

Open.

Which was something he did more frequently, now that he and Kravitz were serious. But he didn't consciously allow himself to open up, it usually came as an instinct during long and private conversations. It wasn't something he had full control over, except. Well, he had control of it now. If he wanted to, he could stop it. But he didn't. Now, he threw caution to the wind and decided it was fine to stay here, he wanted to stay in this half-awake haze.

He felt himself starting to snore, and didn't try to stop it. Kravitz would call him out on it, he knew, but he didn't want to move.

"There it is again," Kravitz said, knocking Taako back into consciousness.

"Just snoring," he slurred, dug his nose into the base of Kravitz' neck. Fuck, this whole situation was comfortable. He didn't even mind Kravitz' accusations of purring, even though he'd normally shoot those down in seconds. But he felt generous today.

"You're awake."

"Happens sometimes." Taako felt the rumbling in his chest even as he spoke. Wow, he was out of it. "Not often, but, y'know, you can snore while you're awake if--if you're, uh, really tired." To prove his point, Taako yawned, felt that weird buzzing sensation in his chest again.

"That's not how that works even a little bit." Kravitz laid a hand on Taako's chest. He looked a little sad. "You really didn't know you're supposed to purr?"

"Sounded fake." Taako rolled over so he didn't have to face Kravitz. "Also, I don't do it."

"Not even with Lup?" Kravitz reached to move Taako's hair out of his face, possibly to read his reactions.

"Lup says I snore real loud, but that's bullshit because she's the one that snores." Taako closed his eyes and pressed himself further into the sheets. "It's not purring."

"It might be." Kravitz smiled and leaned over to kiss the center of Taako's chest. Without any regards to timing or social cues, Taako's ribs vibrated more. He could stop it if he really wanted to, but the fond look Kravitz gave him made him unable to. "Listen to you, you're like a little motor."

Taako shot a look at Kravitz. "Whatever it is, stop complaining."

"I'm not complaining." Kravitz laid back down next to him and tucked his head over Taako's. This meant that his feet dangled awkwardly at Taako's hips, but it wasn't too big of a deal. "I like that you're comfortable around me. And it's cute."

"Still sounds like some fake bullshit."

"I can drop it for real if you want," he said, voice low and soft.  "I'm just. Curious. And worried."

That got Taako to snap out of his groggy state. The snoring stopped. He sat up, a tense line in his brows, and propped a pillow up against the headboard so he could listen. Nope, nothing's bothering his boyfriend on _his_ watch. He'd gotten good at doing this over the years. Taako was shit at finding words to make Kravitz feel better, but at the very least he could listen and then make up for it later. "Worried?"

"For you not to know what purring is, I..." Kravitz sat upright and moved towards Taako. "I wonder if you're okay."

"I'm good," he said, and it was the truth. The only thing that made him feel bad was the Hunger, and those bad feelings didn't crop up unless Kravitz chased them or someone in the crew died. But Kravitz didn't know that. He watched Taako with a careful eye, and he knew that this was going to be the start of a long conversation. But it felt necessary, so he figured it'd be good to get it over with. Taako crossed his legs and opened his arms, silently inviting Kravitz closer. If they were doing this, he needed his compact dwarf boyfriend to hold onto. "It's not like I never do it."

"That's true, I hear it..." Kravitz took the invitation and sat in Taako's lap. He thought for a few moments as he got adjusted. "A couple of times a year? But that still doesn't seem like a lot. I've been an elf before, I've dated _you_ as an elf before, and I did it a lot more often than that."

"I mean, you're already a sap." Taako circled his arms around Kravitz to keep him secure.

"So are you. You can't use that against me anymore." Kravitz rested his head on Taako's shoulder. "Do you snore when I'm not around?"

"Sometimes, I guess. When Lup sleeps over. And after I used to--uh, read your letters. And talk to you on the stone. And, uh, if the blankets are just out of the dryer or something."

"You're too cute," Kravitz said under his breath, like he couldn't help it.

"Tell anyone, and you're dead."

"I'm already dead."

Taako rolled his eyes even though Kravitz couldn't see it from his angle. "You know what I mean." He rested his chin on the top of Kravitz' head. "Anyway, it's nothing to worry about, I just--don't do it that often? Not like I'm actively stopping it. I do it when I do it and I don't when I don't and it's not a big deal."

"The times I've been an elf, I do it a couple times a week." Kravitz laid his hands over Taako's. His core was warm, but there was still a chill to his skin. "You do it once per month, maximum, and that...I can't help but be worried."

"You haven't been an elf since we figured this whole memory situation out." Taako spoke quietly, and even though he was trying to convince Kravitz not to worry, he didn't sound all that convincing. "D'you really think you'd be as cheerful and relaxed when you remember the Hunger?"

Kravitz turned around in his lap, facing Taako with a soft smile. "I'm happy right now, with you."

"We don't have the Light yet," Taako insisted. "Lup lost her body already," he said, and as he spoke, more terrifying thoughts came to the front of his mind. He spoke faster and couldn't stop himself from looking so pathetic as he rambled out more anxieties. "We're short on citrus this year, we could get scurvy. I'm already seeing scouts when I Blink. Merle went to parley almost immediately into the ye--"

"You're stressed." Kravitz placed both his hands on Taako's shoulders, his face catapulting directly into the worry zone. "You're usually stressed," he said, as if it was some big realization.

"I'm just looking at--at the situation," he said, suddenly unable to look him in the eye.

"Hey," Kravitz said, barely a breath. His fingers dug into the muscle that connected Taako's shoulders to his neck, which always seemed to be in knots. "Relax, okay?"

Taako shook his head. "You can't just tell me to do that and expect it to happen like magic."

"I just think it would be good for you to try and ease up." Kravitz' hands moved underneath the sides of Taako's jaw, just there and present. "I hope that doesn't come off as pushy, but. I care about you. I hate to see you stressed like this."

"Easier said than done, y'know."

"I do. I'm not saying it's something simple you think about differently and have it be fixed, it's a process." Kravitz frowned. He thought for a moment, tried to come up with a solution to make this all suck less. "Even if it takes you time to get to a more comfortable point, I'd still like to see it happen. You shouldn't have to feel stressed and afraid when I'm here with you."

"Not just going to go away." It wasn't that Taako didn't trust Kravitz or felt like he couldn't loosen up around him specifically. But he'd been doing this for eighty-whatever years now. He didn't have to worry about the mystery of Kravitz any longer, and most attention was given to solving the Hunger. It was too much for Taako to vent about and then feel better. He looked at the problem and saw there wasn't a light at the end of it, so it was better to keep quiet than to bother Kravitz endlessly about it.

"Well, let me rephrase that. I don't want you to bottle it up when we're alone." Kravitz circled his arms around Taako's chest and moved in closer. Felt like he needed the contact just as much as Taako did. "I can't help if I don't know what's wrong. If you're feeling bad, I want to be able to be there for you."

Those words wormed their way into a soft spot in Taako's brain. Kravitz did that to him often lately. They'd been partners for so long that he knew what Taako worried about and how to address it. He started the snoring (was it really snoring?) up again, and it sent a surprised jolt through both of them. Taako sputtered out a laugh, and Kravitz wasn't far behind him. The rumbling in his chest refused to end.

"You're so sentimental," Kravitz said in between giggles, and pulled him in for another hug.

"Shove it." Taako pressed a quick peck on Kravitz' lips, no venom in his words at all. "Can't a guy swoon over his overly accommodating boyfriend?"

"I'm not overly accommodating, I just want to make sure you're comfortable." Kravitz smiled and cuddled up closer. "You do the same thing for me, it's only fair."

That didn't make any sense, Taako was horrible with words. He scrunched up his face. "Since when do I do the same thing?"

"You think I don't notice that you act different when I--or anyone else on the ship--feel off?" Kravitz spoke with his voice low, as if he were afraid people would eavesdrop. "I know it's not a coincidence that you get a wild hair to bake up some new elaborate dessert when I have a bad day. That you find some fun thing to go do in town the day after I have a breakdown. When I have a good cry out and you insist that we take a bath?"

He shrugged. It made him immeasurably happy to know that Kravitz noticed those things, but he wouldn't say that just yet. "I mean, sure, but. I'm not, uh, it's not like I use. Words as well as you do, y'know?"

"I don't need words." Kravitz kissed his cheek. "You need them, and I give them to you because I love you and I know what to say to get ideas through your lovably thick skull." He moved in closer, laid his head on Taako's shoulder. "When I'm hurting, I know you pick up on that, and I know you do whatever you can to make me feel better. We didn't fall in love for no reason, Taako, and we might do things different, but it's what we both need."

As the words washed over him, Taako felt a more steady vibration in his neck and chest. Kravitz lit up as the sound carried through the room. Maybe Taako would have to do this more often if it made Kravitz so happy.

"And hearing that is better than any words you might have." Kravitz placed his hand on Taako's chest again, reverent.

"Still kind of a weird feeling," Taako said, although he couldn't bring himself to sound anything but pleased.

"It's supposed to be good for you." Kravitz rubbed at Taako's shoulders again and grinned when the rumbling increased in volume. "Relieves stress and all that."

Taako leaned into Kravitz' touch. He didn't realize how stiff his neck and back were until Kravitz dug his fingers into them. "Guess that means you'll have to stick around to make sure I keep doing it."

"Doing what?" Kravitz leaned forward with a shit-eating grin, brows raised at Taako.

"Ugh, the purring." Taako tried to hide the smile forming on his face. He figured it wasn't doing him any favors to use dumb euphemisms around Kravitz, especially since he had been an elf multiple times. If he couldn't be honest about his own biology in front of his weird shapeshifting boyfriend, then what was the point? Openness, and all that. He rolled his eyes, did everything he could to distance himself from this. "You happy? I called it what it was."

"So you knew the whole time." Kravitz' smile only grew wider.

"Sort of." The purring quieted down, going from a loud rumble to a low vibraton. "Just don't normally think about it."

Kravitz chuckled and moved in closer. "Again, it's a big part of your biology, how do you n--"

"Do you keep track of your liver on a daily basis? No." Taako didn't know why he was so defensive about it now that it was out in the open, but there he was. The purring cut off once again. "It's just a thing that happens, sometimes, and it doesn't do me any good to wax fuckin' poetic about it."

"Sorry." Kravitz' good humor disappeared with the purring.

"Don't be, I just." Taako's shoulders slumped over. "I only ever grew up with Lup, I don't--I didn't, uh, get a good primer on how elves work." He didn't dole out information about his childhood too often, but this was one of those nights where honesty could spill through the cracks. Kravitz knew the gist of it anyway, Taako trusted him with that information. He trusted him with most things these days.

"I can help," he offered, "I've been an elf."

"It's not like I need elf practice, y'know." Taako rebalanced Kravitz in his lap as he spoke, gesturing so wildly it threw his small boyfriend off balance at least twice. "It's not a li--life or death situation I'm in, here, it's just a weird thing that happens sometimes. If I needed to learn how to pump my own heart, _then_   I'd call you, but this doesn't. Affect anything."

"I'm glad you feel safe here, either way." Kravitz held Taako's hands in his, leaned forward and smiled. His full attention was intense, but in a good way. "That really means a lot to me."

"It's kind of nice, I guess," Taako admitted, purposely not looking Kravitz in the eye. He could only be so good at being open on a given day, and he'd met his quota. "I mean, it, uh, kind of helped winding down? So maybe you're not full of shit."

"I know I like hearing it." Kravitz tilted his head and kissed him one more time. "I love you," he said, barely a whisper.

And, because the universe thought it would be a good idea to pull a prank on Taako, he started the purring back up at full force. He could have stopped it if he really wanted to. But Kravitz looked so happy when it started up again, and it was kind of soothing, so he let it happen. It really was relaxing, he thought, and decided to scoot off the headboard and lay down. He brought Kravitz with him, nudged him to lie in his arms. Taako really had the sap out in full force, he didn't get the urge to be big spoon all that often. But it was good here.

Kravitz was something precious in his arms, and Taako wanted to keep him.

* * *

Taako slammed the door open to Barry and Lup's room. Barry jumped in his seat and watched Taako. No Lup in the room. For once, that was a good and lucky thing. He'd talk about this to Lup later, but he was full of nerves and he knew Barry wouldn't tease him for any of this.

"Barry, I've got an emergency."

Barry set down his notes and stood up, immediately panicked. "What? You don't--uh, look hurt or anything, what's--"

"Okay, maybe emergency isn't the right word, but." Taako pointed directly at Barry, as menacing as an elf of his intimidation could muster. "I'm cashing in an IOU."

Hearing that there wasn't anything urgent going on, the fight left Barry and he stood there confused. "I...don't know what you're talking about."

He slung Barry around the shoulder and pulled him to his side, going for casual but ending up in the field of awkward and weird. "I've helped you out with Lup, now I get to have the secrets." He held his hand out in front of Barry's face and jiggled his fingers.

"The. The secrets?" Barry squinted at his hands, growing more confused by the second.

Taako let out a big, overdramatic sigh that masked how nervous he was to have this conversation. "Do I have to spell it out?"

"Yes?" He stared at Taako like he had a face made of cheese. Finally, _finally,_ a lightbulb went off in Barry's head. For someone that was so smart, he was really slow on these sorts of things. "Wait, is this about the beach year?"

"Duh." Taako shrugged and let go of Barry.

"Not _duh,_ I had no idea what you were--" Barry stopped in his tracks. The gears turned in his head as he finally pieced together what Taako wanted out of him. He spoke cautiously, unsure if his answer was correct. "Hold on, are you asking me for advice?"

"Yeah."

_"You should have lead with that!"_ Barry pressed his glasses closer to his face and breathed in. Taako thought it was fun to rile the guy up, and a dull part of him said to stop doing it so Barry could give him some real advice. But a louder part of him said to keep doing it, so Taako grinned as he watched Barry gather his composure. "Okay. Fuck. What do you want to know?"

"Pop a squat and try not to shit yourself for this one." Taako slapped his shoulder and walked to his bed.

Barry held his shoulder (Taako didn't even hit _that_ hard, come on) and followed him. "I've only shat myself _once_ around you."

_"Around you_ being the key words." Taako sat on the edge of the bed, chin in hand, and looked up at Barry with a glint in his eye. "I need to start putting fuckin' Fantasy Beano in your salad dressing."

"That sounds gross."

Taako blinked and tweaked Barry's nose. "I already put Fantasy Tums in your quesadillas."

"You do _what?"_   Barry covered his nose with both his hands like a child shielding themselves from a _got your nose_ fiasco.

"Not my fault you get heartburn after eating bread." Taako rubbed his hands together and shimmied to the edge of the bed. "Not important. I need that advice."

"It would be easier to give you advice if you'd stop bringing up my bowel accidents." Reluctantly, Barry sat next to Taako and offered as much of a sage look as a guy with multiple digestive issues could muster. "Tell me what's up."

For all the teasing and the mental preparation Taako did before coming to speak to Barry, he found himself out of his element once the actual conversation was ahead of him. He didn't want to start out too hard, didn't want to come clean and say _hey, I think I want to be with Kravitz as long as he wants me!_ But it'd also be bad to turn tail and run out, because then Barry would think it was more serious than it was. Or. Not more serious, because this was really _fucking_ serious, but he didn't want Barry to think he was in real trouble.

It took him a minute to come up with a good opening, and even then, it wasn't very good.

"How can you tell when someone's it for you?"

"It?" The gears turned in Barry's head again. "I don't know what you mean."

"Y'know, like, you and Lup've been talking about putting a ring on it for ages, that's old hat. She's obviously it for you, even if you haven't, uh, signed any papers." Taako did his best not to blurt out anything unnecessary. All he needed was information. In, out, don't talk about Kravitz, hopefully Barry wouldn't realize what the conversation was really about. "But, like, when did you know?"

"Oh, uh, you mean--that's what you mean. Got it. Okay." Barry drummed his fingers on his legs and then side-eyed Taako with a cheesy grin. "I guess a pretty good sign is, uh, having to ask your friend for advice about it."

It took the patience of a saint not to roll his eyes at that. "Hilarious, Barold."

"I, uh--I'm not joking, I mean that." Barry smiled softer at him. Didn't tease him. Gently told him the facts. "If you've been thinking about it so much that you had to come here and ask me, then Kravitz probably _is_ it for you."

Taako elected to skip the whole _how did you know I was talking about Kravitz_ debate, because he had a feeling he'd get laughed at. "How do you figure?"

"You wouldn't be thinking about it if it wasn't at least a little appealing," he said, and that grin came back into his smile as he spoke. "And you definitely wouldn't be talking about it to me if you didn't want it at all."

"That's not _advice,_ my man." Taako narrowed his eyes and bumped his side against Barry. "I'm cashing in advice."

Barry rolled his eyes. He thought for a moment, and then his face lit up. "Okay. Fine. Personally? I think it's weird that you're still dating him." Barry turned his head away as he spoke, dismissive of the whole thing. "He's trying to kill us, and he's really not anything like you, and you _did_ meet him as a bird. I don't know if it's a good idea."

"What--" Taako blinked a few times. What? He picked his thoughts up off the floor and pushed Barry. "Hey, fuck y--that's--you don't know shit, Barry!"

"Oh yeah?" He grinned.

"Kravitz is--he's--like, the best thing that came out of this shithole of a situation, and--he's-- _said_ that he's going to try and--fuck, make sure that--that he won't--reap us, in the end, even if you and Lup decided to go out and be _liches--"_   Taako started a couple more sentences, but they died out before he could finish any of them. It didn't do him any good to think about the lich situation right that second. "And, fine, we're not, super alike or anything but at least that's _interesting,_ y'know, and, he's _not a bird,_ and--" Taako paused his rant and watched Barry's face. He noticed the smug file painted on, which didn't make any sense if Barry was angry at him for dating Kravitz. "Why are you looking at me like that?"

"I think you and Kravitz are great." Barry's smile broke out wider, and he pat Taako on the shoulder. He stood up and moved to look at his bookshelf. Taako knew he did this to give him space. He appreciated that. Still didn't appreciate the fake out. Barry opened one of his books and flipped through it, casual as he could. "And apparently, so do you."

"Yo--you tricked me!" Taako brought his legs up onto the bed and leaned forward, chasing after Barry with his words but not his body. "Unfair!"

"Sorry, Davenport did that to me once." Barry looked back at Taako over his shoulder with a smirk. "I wanted to see if it worked on you."

Taako didn't answer, only elected to huff in disapproval. He wasn't going to let Barry win whatever fight this was.

"You're in love, Taako, you really don't have to pretend otherwise." He stared at Taako over the rim of his glasses, eyes narrowed. "You might need to have a long talk with him, though."

"You want me to just--talk? To him?"

"That's what you told me to do with Lup." Barry huffed, but it sounded more like it was supposed to be a laugh. "It's your own damn advice."

"I. I guess it is." Taako clasped his hands together and stared down at the floor. "Kind of terrifying."

"What, you think it'll go bad?"

"No, I think he'd. Fucking melt from hearing--uh, everything I want to say to him. I just--it makes things. More serious."

"Well, yeah." Barry moved back to sit next to Taako again, now that the sensitive moment had passed and Taako didn't need as much space. Screw him for being so understanding. "But. Hey, I'm on the other end of that, and. It's worth it, you know."

"It probably is." Taako flopped back on Barry's bed. Made himself comfortable. While he was here he could squeeze in a little bit of time to hang out with the guy. It was hard to get in some time with him without Lup there too, and while he liked her there, it was a different vibe with just him and Barry. "When are you marrying her?"

That question would have thrown Barry into a tizzy a few years prior, but this time he kept his cool. All he did was smile wider. "I was going to ask her next year."

"Oh, _dunk,_ really?" Taako couldn't hold back a smile of his own. Lup had been wishing for Barry to ask for years. He wouldn't tell her, couldn't bear to spoil this surprise, but he'd been waiting for them to actually do the thing for decades. Sue him for being happy about it. "No big public proposals, y'know."

"Of course not. I was thinking something, uh, more private than that." Barry picked at the bedsheets, worried about some new thing. Taako stayed quiet until he spoke back up. "Can I borrow some of your recipes? I think she'd like something from home."

"They're all too complicated for you." Taako rolled his eyes and sat up straight again. He had a feeling this conversation would end with him giving Barry some baking lessons, but it wasn't like that was a horrible thing. "Mister Barry _burned spaghetti_ Bluejeans."

"Aren't cooking and baking different? I want to try." Barry nodded his head and looked at Taako with the same resolve he had when he wanted to learn how to swim. "Make it real special for her. I don't think it has to be, uh, on your level for her to love it."

"Fine, but only if I get to supervise you for the first couple passes." There it was. Could Taako chill for two seconds? He guessed it was fine, handing out family secrets to someone that belonged in the family. "Gotta make sure you don't poison my sister."

"It's not like I'm going to put silverpoint in a tiramisu."

"That's cute, you think I'm going to trust you with something as complicated as tiramisu." Taako reached to pinch Barry's cheek, half to tease him and half because the guy had such full cheeks and Taako was a curious dude. "We'll start you off with sugar cookies. If you don't burn them I'll teach you how to temper chocolate to dip them in."

"I think she'd like that." Barry scooped him in for a hug, but mercifully made it quick. "Thanks."

"Hey, someone's gotta make sure the two of you stick together." Taako hit him on the back. Like a brother would. That's just how he thought of Barry these days. "Took you long enough to get there."

"It was worth it." Barry pushed his glasses up and a glint of light passed over them. He grinned too wide for someone as quiet as him. "And it my defense, it took you longer to get with Kravitz long term."

"Only because you had to do fucking _soul hacking_ for it to work. At least I talked to him like a rational boyfriend at the end of every year."

"But it's better like this, right?"

"Yeah." Taako schooled his face into something presentable, even though he felt his face was hot enough to be used as a grill. Barry laughed under his breath, but Taako still heard it, but he chose not to acknowledge it. He figured it'd be easier to tease Barry for his gross, goopy relationship. At least he got some of the information he needed.

* * *

So.

Taako was going to have a long talk with Kravitz.

But he remembered before Lup had that long talk with Barry, she came to him first and let him know what was going on. It'd be shitty of him not to do the same for her. He needed to let her know first in case she didn't like Kravitz, so she'd have the chance to stop something that would ruin his life. Not that he thought she would have to resort to that, but it was the principle of the thing. It was more of a way to brag about their healthy relationships to each other. He knew she'd be ecstatic to hear that he took his head out of his ass and started thinking long term. Nothing was at stake, but it would change the way Lup treated Kravitz drastically.

Also, as much as he needed to have this conversation with Kravitz, it still made him hella nervous. He needed all the assistance he could get, and Lup could knock sense into him.

Lup already got lich'ed, so she didn't hang around in the kitchen like she normally would on her off time. Without the need for sleep or meditation or food, she spent the majority of her time in the lab. Her and Barry fired off ideas on how to get rid of the Hunger every year now. Most of them sucked, but you know what they say: you've got to break a few bones before you make an omelet. They didn't have the Light yet, and Magnus and Lucretia were on some kind of dog mission to go get it, so she was pouring over some calculations. She could technically do those in her room, but she swore she thought better in the lab.

Taako cracked the door open and waved. That was casual, right? "Hey, Lup."

"Yeah?" She turned around so that the opening in her hood faced him. Only a dim light sat inside, which was her default. She could conjure up a face if she wanted to, but it took more energy. But, as soon as she saw Taako, she brought out her face and put on a look of concern. "Oh, shit, what's wrong?"

"Nothing, I'm good." Taako shook his head. Whoops. Guess he looked bad? Sure, he was nervous, but he didn't feel bad at all. "I'm just--I wanted to give you a heads-up. For something important."

"Okay." Lup conjured up a mage hand and scooted a chair over for Taako. "I'm listening," she said, feigning calmness, but Taako knew her well enough that she was nervous. There wasn't anything to be nervous about, but Taako didn't willingly throw himself into deep heart-to-heart conversations very often, so that was fair.

He took the seat, knowing that she put it there so he couldn't bail out of the conversation halfway through. Taako let himself be trapped. He needed this, he knew, he couldn't run and hide from it. Lup could see right through him if he tried to. He wanted to stay with Kravitz, and that meant doing a few things that were uncomfortable. It didn't launch him so far out of his comfort zone that he felt bad, he was just unused to this all.

Except, the look that Lup projected on her face threw him right back into panic mode.

"I said I'm listening," she said, voice tight and coarse.

"Give me a minute, it's--not easy." Taako held the rim of his hat and pulled it next to his ear a few times. Needed something to fidget with.

"Can I get, like, some kind of hint as to where this is going?" Lup hovered in front of him. She couldn't decide whether she should be frustrated or concerned, so she went with both. "You're freaking me out."

"It's not bad, it's, uh, it's a good thing." He let go of his hat rim and it flopped back to its rightful place like a springboard. "I swear, it just--you know, uh, me."

That seemed to calm her down a bit. "Okay. Take your time." She floated away from him, gave him a little space. Lup knew him too well, knew that he had to psych himself up to say something important. If it was bad, she'd normally try to coax it out of him, but he appreciated this little bit of time to collect his thoughts. She went back to her work and let Taako stew in his seat.

It wasn't that he was nervous about saying the words to Lup. He had a feeling she knew already, or at least had her suspicions. Taako wasn't super public with how much he loved Kravitz, and an outsider watching them in public would probably say they were a cute couple, but not _forever_ material. But the crew--especially Lup--knew that Taako wouldn't stay with Kravitz if he was unhappy. She could read between the lines and know how bad Taako had it. So admitting that wasn't on his list of fears. It was the way he knew their relationship would change after all this. But siblings treat boyfriends different than fiancés or husbands or whatever the fuck Taako and Kravitz would be after this big admission. Lup wouldn't treat him worse. They fit Barry into their little family unit with minimal problems, he didn't see why Kravitz wouldn't have the same treatment.

So this was probably safe. Even if it scared the shit out of Taako.

"I'm going to keep Kravitz," he made himself say, an intense push to get the words out.

Lup perked up instantly and with a radiance that she didn't put out every day. "Really?"

"Yeah, uh, y'know. I was just--thinking, about, uh. After the Hunger, and." Taako took off his hat and played with the edges. He felt nervous, he hated admitting this to Lup, but he couldn't wipe the goofy grin forming on his face. "It's kind of--I normally don't, uh, want to think about that, but I've had a lot of years with the guy and I think it's, uh, it's working out for us."

"Taako, that's--that's great!" Lup tore herself away from her work and floated back in front of him. "I've never seen you so happy, I think he's good for you."

"Yeah." Taako kept his mouth shut. He knew if he started talking, he'd just gush, and that would be embarrassing.

"No, nuh-uh, stop that." Lup floated next to him and mimed sitting down, even though she wasn't corporeal enough to sit and there wasn't a chair next to Taako's. "I want to hear details. You don't get to come here asking for advice and get off without a little information, spill."

Ugh. Of course. The downside of not being public with love was that he had to give out a few secrets. He planned for this, obviously, but Taako was a private guy. Sure, he could say anything to Lup, he trusted her with his life, but this was different. A good kind of different. But still different.

"Do you purr?" He figured he could tell her about the purring, because that's what spurred these thoughts in the first place and he wanted to make sure Kravitz wasn't just fucking with him on that.

"Not a whole lot, but yeah. And--not in this form, obviously." Lup gestured to herself and laughed. "Mostly around you or Barry."

"Oh, so that's not fake," he said, although he knew it wasn't. Just easier not to think about it.

"I've _heard_ you do it, dingus." Lup moved to elbow him and then remembered she was made of pure energy, and shied away so she wouldn't hurt him. "Why?"

"I've just, uh, been doing it around Kravitz a lot more often now."

Lup's form blinked out a few times. "Damn, you really _should_ keep him." 

"I plan on it." Taako felt like that was compensation enough for Lup, but she shook her head and held her hand out like she wanted more. He huffed. "He's just--uh. You know."

"Nope." Lup looked at him sternly. "Talk."

"I _did_ talk, I told you I fuckin' purr around him." Taako waved his hands wildly in front of him. He'd do anything to worm out of this section of the conversation. No need to unpack his love life in front of his sister.

She didn't budge. "Talk more."

"Do I _have_ to?"

"I'd like to hear a little bit why Kravitz should get brother-in-law privileges, so yeah." The sleeves on her robe crossed their arms, and it was only then that Taako realized she stopped projecting a face or hands onto her form. Could the absence of a face be considered a form of poker face? "I gushed about you to Barry, I want to hear you do it."

Taako didn't whine, but it was a close thing. "I've gushed about Kravitz to you before."

"When you were in a dumb honeymoon phase." Lup summoned her face back and smiled warmly. "This is better."

"It's embarrassing," he said, protested, and could already feel the heat creep up to his face.

"Well, yeah, but you're paying the sister tax." She rubbed her spectral hands together, scheming. "I'm not helping you out until I get some good reasons why." And then she stopped scheming, and her voice dropped lower. More comforting and honest. "I won't make fun of you, promise. I just like seeing you happy, and. We don't get to talk enough. About this."

"Alright, fine, you've twisted my arm." He knew she'd break him down with enough of this talk, so he figured it'd be fine to get to it already. Didn't want to waste his time. He had to go plan a grand romantic gesture for Kravitz to reveal his intention to keep him. This was just a sibling formality. "Was there something specific you wanted to know, or are you looking for weird aimless blabbering?"

"I just want to know if he makes you happy."

"Obviously." It took a lot of willpower for that not to sound sarcastic. "I wouldn't stay with him otherwise."

"Real helpful." Lup did not use the same willpower to make her words sound less sarcastic. "I was hoping for, I don't know, some descriptions of butterflies? Something about fireworks? You've got to give me something, here."

"Not as much anymore on the, uh, butterflies front. I guess, sometimes? He'll, y'know, say something horribly sappy with this--this look on his face, and that's when I get those. But it's less of--uh, that sort of thing and more of just. Like. I feel safe around him?" Taako let out a breath. He felt like he was talking in circles. He was fine with these feelings now, but vocalizing them was a lot harder than internally understanding them. He could talk about them to Kravitz, but that was only because it directly involved him and he could stop the conversation to kiss him. Could not do that with his sister. Nope. "Obviously he never stops being smoking and, uh, I'm still--still. Really into him, it's just. More comfortable."

"I get that." Lup didn't have her face on, but Taako could _hear_ the smug grin on her face. "You know that's how I feel about Barry, right?"

"I know, why do you think I said I'd keep him?" Her teasing didn't throw him too far off balance. It was more of an annoyance than anything that could fluster him. Yeah, he _knew_ he had the same feelings for Kravitz as Lup and Barry had for each other. Duh. "It's not just a sudden impulse I had, it was--I mean, you wake up next to a guy enough times and it'd just be weird not to put a ring on him, yeah?"

"I never thought I'd see the day. Is this--wait." Lup finally caught up to the gravity of Taako's statement, her form swelling and crackling in pure glee. "You're marrying him?"

_Shit._ "Not...right now?"

"Not _right now!"_ Lup swirled through the air excitedly, circled Taako a couple times before settling again in front of him. "Not right now, he says, holy _shit,_ I'm getting a second brother! Fuck, I wish I had a body to hug you right now."

"Do that after I talk to him," he said, shoulders stiffening. "I don't know what he's gonna say."

"He told you in front of me that he had every intention of marrying you."

"Oh." Taako blinked up at her, confused. "Right."

"...Did you forget?"

"I forgot," he admitted, head hung low.

She laughed. "You're the worst!"

"He still could have changed his mind! That was a long time ago." Taako's mind stumbled as it tried to come up with a hundred reasons why this would all go wrong. "He could have--uh. Maybe after so long of dating me he realized he doesn't want that at all."

"Got so bent out of shape that you fucking forgot," she muttered, barely clear enough for Taako to hear. "Do you really think he'd say anything less than overwhelmingly positive stuff? He's worse than Barry sometimes, with that sweet shit, I can hardly watch it."

"I mean. This is different." Taako knew this was irrational and he shrunk in on himself, but this was big and he needed just a little bit more reassurance. "This is, uh, a little more permanent than. Dating. He might say no."

Lup kept silent for a minute or two. Watched him. She let out a simulation of a breath, because liches couldn't breathe but they could _definitely_ sigh sarcastically. "A couple years ago, he asked me if you had any interest in getting married, ever." Lup frowned, and eyed him suspiciously as she spoke. Didn't even try to hide her face. "I told him you weren't interested, 'cause that's what you said, like, a while back. And he was disappointed, but he still was fine staying with you anyway."

"He was--disappointed?"

"Yeah, also confused because _apparently_ you told him the concept didn't scare you. Which was news to me." She scoffed again, probably thinking about how Taako lied to her earlier. Still, it didn't seem like she was that angry about it. "But, really, don't worry about what he'll say. He's just as in love with you as you are, that hasn't changed, and I don't want to see any excuses out of you."

"I'm not doing excuses, I just." Taako grabbed the brim of his hat and pulled it to hide his face. "It's, uh, a big talk."

"It is." Lup floated lower to watch Taako's expression beneath the hat. She spoke softly and calming, like she was afraid he'd run off if she didn't. "But it's worth it."

"That's what Barry said." Hearing the same thing out of both Barry and Lup helped with his nerves. He could probably pull this off. The worst of this was over. "Did it--did, uh, did anything change when you had the talk with Barry?"

"It did. But in a good way. He got a lot calmer."

"It's a lot harder to tease him about you these days." Taako meant for that to come out teasing, but it mostly sounded like he was happy for her. And he was. But he knew it'd go to her head if she found that out. "He really loves you."

"We were talking about your boyfriend, not mine." That time, she did poke him in the chest and a little shock passed through his body. "Don't change the subject, smartass."

"I don't know what else to tell you, Lup! I love the guy and he makes me really happy, that's it. There's not much to elaborate on that." He groaned, unsure what words to let out, and ended up blabbering. "What am I supposed to say? You wouldn't want to hear me talk for hours about how cute he is when he sleeps, or how I get gayer every time the dude laughs! I'm actually fuckin' comfortable talking to him when I'm stressed out, is that what you want to hear? Do you want me to tell you I've imagined what our goddamn house will look like someday?"

"I mean, that's exactly what I wanted to hear." Lup mimed patting him on the back, careful not to actually do it in fear of harming him with her lich energy. She moved back to her work desk and picked back up where she left off. "You've paid your tax, I'll back off for now. I'm just happy that you're happy. I can't believe we both won out."

"Yeah, I, uh, didn't think it'd ever happen." No longer trapped in Lup's chair, Taako stood up. But he still had one more important question on his mind. "You'll, uh, help the guy out if he needs it, right? I take care of Barry, so. You have to pick up the slack, too."

She stayed focused on her work, but nodded. "Of course, you know he's my family as much as Barry is yours."

"I mean, you used to hate him."

"I hate it when he kills you, and I hate that you're not careful enough to avoid him more than you should." She gave him a powerful and stinky side-eye, and then resumed her calculations. "When he remembers everything, he's a cool dude."

"Yeah." Taako could tell this was the end of the conversation, and he was kind of done anyway, so he made it for the door.

"But I'm going to have a longer talk with him once you have yours," she said, catching him before he could leave. "I really don't like that he's killing you so much."

"It's--"

"Don't say it's fine, because it's not. Not for me." Lup didn't focus on Taako as she spoke, more talking to herself than anything else. "I'm not mad at _him,_ specifically, I just want to see if there's anything more he can do about it." Her form stuttered out for a second. "Let me know after you have your talk?"

"Yeah, okay." Taako watched her, tried to figure out if he should warn Kravitz about her intention to grill him later. He probably would, although he wouldn't come out with that right at the beginning of the conversation. He'd save it for later. "Just don't set him on fire."

She snorted. "I'll try."

Well, that was probably as good as he was going to get. "Cool. I'm, uh--I'm going to plan out. Um. How I'm going to tell him."

Lup turned to face him one more time before he left. "Good luck, tell me how it goes."

"Will do." He waved on his way out and shut the door behind him. That could have gone a lot better, but it also could have gone a lot worse. He wasn't as terrified to speak with Kravitz, now, and all he needed to do was plan.

* * *

For once, Taako had the opposite of a problem. 

Whatever that was.

Taako had those Big Feelings, the ones that made him think about the future and how Kravitz fit into it. After all these years with the guy, he was determined to keep him. The first few years they were together for real, it was all up in the air. But they settled in to a fairly domestic relationship, and Taako didn't feel like he needed to run from it and didn't do anything to sabotage it. He had something amazing and knew he wanted to keep Kravitz for a long time.

Possibly forever.

Actually, not possibly. Definitely. Taako knew what he was doing, knew this was a permanent deal, and was ready to get that all set up. He was ready to ask Kravitz if he wanted to get married in the future. Sure, he knew that Kravitz wanted to marry him, but some tiny part of him still thought that Kravitz wouldn't be interested or would get cold feet. The part of him that knew Kravitz loved him ignored that tiny screaming voice, and his conversation with Lup also helped. So he was ready to ask about marriage for real. He wouldn't propose to the dude yet, not with the Hunger right at their asses, but it was on his to-do list.

Today was just a conversation. Nothing would change. Taako just wanted to be on the same page with Kravitz, to know where this would go. He knew he could say this sappy shit to him and not get laughed at. He'd be actively encouraged. Lup told him he was thinking about it, that it was right in the front of his mind too, and that eased some of his nerves. It would all be worth it to see the look on Kravitz' face, too.

And, because Kravitz was the kind of guy that could be moved to tears by most romantic gestures, Taako decided it'd be great to go all out for this one.

Nothing in front of other people, because even after so many years, it made Taako queasy to be vulnerable in front of people that weren't Lup, Barry, or Kravitz. That was something only his immediate family got to see. But he prepared a really nice picnic. Even if he could only pack things that would keep well in a picnic basket, he did his best to make it special. His sandwiches could be classified as artisanal, the wine he picked out was one of their favorites from a couple cycles back, and even though they were a pain to make and required a lot of magic to keep them properly in the picnic basket, he brought two mini crème brûlées just to show off. He had them on a hill underneath a thick-leaved tree, overlooking the field of puppies Magnus commandeered two weeks into the year.

He worried it was too much, that it was too clichéd. But Kravitz beamed at Taako when he saw it, and all of those worries disappeared without much else thought.

"I want to ask you something," Taako said, head on Kravitz' lap after they both finished their sandwiches, still working through the wine.

Kravitz looked down at him, concerned. "Is everything okay?"

"I'd like to think so." Taako crossed one leg over the other, suddenly overcome with embarrassment. Sure, he was fine thinking about this moment, but actually going through with it? Not as easy.

"That's ominous." Kravitz set down his glass on a level part of the grass and ran a hand through Taako's hair. He didn't panic, not yet, but Taako could tell that would come soon if he didn't reassure him. "What'd I do?"

"No, uh. This isn't. Nothing bad happened. You're good. This is a good conversation, I'm not--mad, or breaking up with you, or anything." Taako reached up and flicked some wet grass off of Kravitz' pants, pointedly not making eye contact. "I was just. Thinking. About what I--uh, what's going to happen after. The Hunger."

"Oh." The hand in Taako's hair slowed to a stop. "Like what?"

"I've, uh. Never had a--like, a permanent place before." Taako rose up on his elbows, and at the extremely short height Kravitz was at this year, they were about eye level. "You, uh. Can't laugh. When I say this, okay?"

"I would never." Kravitz' nerves melted into a smile, and he reached forward to brush some hair out of his face. "What have you been thinking of?"

"I, uh, want a place. A permanent one. Or, uh, semi-permanent? Like, not looking for the house I'll die in, but. A place." Taako laid back down on the picnic blanket. He'd look Kravitz in the eye when he asked the big questions, but he had to psych himself up before all that. "I think I'm done bouncing around, it's...tiring."

"That's fair." Kravitz relaxed. He hadn't caught on that this conversation was about him yet, so he didn't freak out. It was just the two of them talking about hypothetical plans. Not about him at all. Except, it was all about him, and Taako would lay that down in a few minutes. "What would you do?"

"Dunno. I've done some dope shit, maybe I could go be a professor again? A professor for dope shit. Get that tenure, make bank." Taako waved his hand in the air lazily, as if drawing out the plans in thin air. "Or, like, build a wizard tower and be all reclusive in there and rotate shitty kids as apprentices for a few decades."

Kravitz covered his mouth with his hand and snorted. "You? With an apprentice?"

Taako turned around to glare at his boyfriend. "Think I can't teach kids how to do magic?"

He laughed. "I think you _could,_ but you'd probably scar a couple for life."

"No, see, my apprentices will be just as shitty as me."

"You're not shitty." Kravitz leaned down to kiss Taako's forehead. "Not in the way you're thinking, at the very least."

"I, uh. Ye-yeah." God damn it, even after decades with this man, he was able to embarrass Taako like this? Unfair. Taako shook his head to erase the goopy thoughts from his mind. "Anyway--okay. Either a place in the city next to some bigass university, or a wizard tower in the woods."  Taako looked up, finally stared at Kravitz in the eye."What's your vote?"

"My...vote?" He tilted his head to the side, confused.

"Well, duh, you're going to be there. Your house, too." Taako tried to make his voice sound calm and casual, but he was positive Kravitz could hear the strangled edge to it. "If that's okay, like--if you wanted that."

"I--really?" Kravitz watched him with stars in his eyes, leaned over so that his face hovered over Taako's.

"What makes you think it wouldn't be yours, too?" He smiled, unable to hold back how excited he was over the idea of making a permanent home with Kravitz. Damn. He was really bad. But he could see that Kravitz felt the same, and that made the whole thing less frightening. "I mean, we, uh, we share a room. You're sticking around for a--for a long time. I think. If you still want that."

"I do want to stick around for a long time." His smile turned more shy, less confident. "My job doesn't exactly allow me to--to, uh. To earn money, but--"

"I'm not making you pay _rent,_ babe, what the hell do you think this is?" Taako grimaced at him. That's what he was worried about? "You, uh, shouldn't. Feel like you've got to. Support me like that."

"I just want to see you safe and--and happy." Kravitz still watched him, worried, but he didn't seem quite as uncomfortable. "I don't want you to have to worry about money."

"We'll probably be fucking heroes when we touch down on the last plane, defeating the Hunger, y'know, that's--people should throw money at me." He laughed and joked around, but really hoped this idea would get through Kravitz' thick skull. "And you _know_ I'm going to cash in on the brand of universe savior when the time comes."

"Still." Nope, just as dense as ever. Taako sure knew how to pick 'em.

"Look." Taako reached up and tapped Kravitz' nose. "I'm the one that's fucking the emissary of a goddess, I came in this knowing that things wouldn't ever be in the realm of normal, that's boring." He spoke quieter, hoped Kravitz would get a clue and realize  "If I had a problem with this, I'd tell you. We're past that. I wouldn't be here if this wasn't exactly what I wanted."

"If you're sure." Kravitz sank down and leaned on his elbow, face hovered just above Taako's. He smiled wider, the worry from earlier vanished completely. "Then, yes, Taako, I would--I would love to live with you."

Taako grinned and pulled Kravitz down for a kiss. It was horrible. Their faces weren't facing the same way so nothing was aligned. Kravitz' big dwarven beard brushed at the top of Taako's forehead and near his eyes. Taako didn't have a lot of leverage lying down to fix any of these problems. But he loved it, because he loved Kravitz, and pulled away to laugh at how bad it was. Kravitz laughed and helped him up, and they got in a proper kiss.

"Then, forest or city?" Taako asked when he pulled away.

Kravitz hummed as he thought about it, fingers drumming on Taako's sides. "I think, personally, you would thrive more in the city."

"See, I was leaning more towards that. Wizard tower was mostly a joke." Taako grinned and brought Kravitz into his lap. He took advantage of this power whenever Kravitz was smaller than him. He knew he was into it, and Taako liked playing with the unique features his boyfriend's form had in different years. Made things fun. Now that he had Kravitz on board to move in with him, it opened the floodgates to more babbling. Words fell out of Taako sometimes, when he felt especially sappy or forced himself open, and he was glad it came out here. He explicitly wanted to have this conversation. "If we post up in some city, we can move if I get a better offer somewhere else, and the food's probably really good, and, like, it'd be really hard to get a kid into a good school district in the forest, even if the property values would be hi--"

"Wait a minute, back up." Kravitz' hands hovered in place, frozen. It took him a couple tries to sputter out the correct words. "A _kid?"_

"Uh." Wait, wait, _shit,_ no. Taako meant to say all that, of course, but. Damn it, he went too far into the future. Sure, he _just_ figured that part out, but he hadn't planned on letting that into this big conversation. He shook his head and backpedaled, hoping Kravitz would drop it. "I meant. Like. A goat. To make cheese."

Kravitz shook his head. "You said something about school districts."

New plan: if Taako didn't look him in the eye, maybe he wouldn't notice how nervous he was. "I want an educated goat," he said, offered a joke as if it could blow this all over.

"Taako." He didn't budge, not even a little bit.

_"What?"_   Taako asked, and didn't realize how aggressive that sounded until he saw Kravitz jump back in surprise. Shit. No. Back up. He took in a breath and forced himself to speak less aggressively. "Ugh, just--nevermind, forget it, I was. Thinking too far in the future, y'know? It happens."

"But we were supposed to be talking about the future." Kravitz hesitated for a couple more seconds and then secured his hands on Taako's back. Let them wander around, the same soothing patterns he used when they had to talk about something important. "I want our plans to match up."

"Yeah, but do you--do you really want to get into this?" Taako took his hands off of Kravitz, in case he was done with this. In case that was too much for him. "We can always, uh, wait on it. Until we get out of this mess."

"I would prefer to get into this now, actually." Kravitz only pressed closer. Didn't trap Taako, left enough room for him to lift him off if he needed space, but it was his way of telegraphing a firm message. _I want to be here._ "I'm not mad, I'm not--I'm actually a little, uh, delighted, to hear you say that, I just. Want to be on the same page so there isn't any confusion later."

Oh.

So that was it.

He spent so much time thinking about how he could corner Kravitz into this conversation that he didn't even realize that Kravitz would want to have it too. Of _course_   he would. He probably wanted to have this years prior. He probably held out because of Taako's cagey nature. Taako might have made a bigger deal out of this than was necessary. But it was fine because it was obvious that they were both _excited_ about this conversation, even if it would change how the two of them operated. Even if it still scared Taako a little.

Taako felt a smile creep up on his face, saw the edges of his cheeks in his peripheral vision from how severely his eyes crinkled. "Delighted, huh?"

"I've, um, thought about it." Kravitz' face burned, just a bit, and even though he didn't have the ability to blush and his skin was too dark to see much of it anyway, Taako knew he would be doing it if he could. "I wasn't sure if that was ever something you wanted, so I figured it didn't do much good to bring it up."

"You've thought about it," Taako repeated, voice cracked and broken.

"I don't see children very often in my line of work, and it's--never a good thing when I do, but. Um." He ducked his head and broke eye contact with Taako a few times, wanting to look him in the eye but not able to scrounge up the resolve to keep it long-term. "Just, the idea of starting a family with you is, uh. Good. To me. If that's also something you wanted."

Taako bit down an embarrassing sound. He stared at Kravitz, and it felt like he had a hold right on Taako's heart. Not in a bad way. It felt secure. What was up with this dude and his ability to find new ways to completely wreck Taako's composure?

_"Is_   it something you want?" he asked, careful, the two of them trying their best to navigate through a field of eggshells.

He eventually found his voice again, although it didn't come out with any earth-shattering statements. "It's embarrassing."

"I'm not going to make fun of you for it." Kravitz held Taako's hand and rubbed his thumb into his palm, soothing. "I just want to know your honest opinion. If you're not into it, I would understand, I assumed we--we should. Um. Try to plan for the future? A little bit? If we're going to be living together. You can take a few minutes, there's no rush, I--you know."

"I mean, yeah, I, uh, I did bring it up. I, uh, didn't mean to say it like that, but. It slipped out." Taako shook his head to the side, like there was water in his ear and he tried to get it out. But no water. Just dumb thoughts. "Like. I wouldn't want to do it soon. Not. Not for a while? Not even counting the Hunger, like, I probably wouldn't--want it. For. Uh. A long time, but." He buried his face into Kravitz' shoulder so he couldn't see how wide-eyed and flustered he was. "I've been thinking about it, uh, lately. You with those dogs just--was getting to me."

A wide smile grew on Kravitz' face as he listened. "Aw, a family man."

Taako had him in his lap so he couldn't kick him, but kicked at the air anyway just to get the nervous energy out. "You said you wouldn't make fun of me, you ass."

"I wasn't." Kravitz cupped Taako's jaw in both his hands. "I like this side of you." He kissed him, once, to prove his point. "I like all sides of you, for the record, this one is just new to me."

"I mean, for--for the record, I didn't think about it too much either, until--" Until when? When did he start wanting bigger things with Kravitz? He had no clue. He'd been thinking it for a while, tried to trace it back to a specific year, but it wasn't any use. What mattered more was that Taako realized that's what he wanted, that he was able to vocalize that to Kravitz, and that, _somehow,_ Kravitz was on the same page. "I guess, until, uh, I started wanting it with you? If that makes sense? I can't speak for myself, but, uh, I think you'd. Be good at the whole...uh, dad thing."

"Taako," he said, breathless, hearts in his eyes.

"And, listen, I'm not--I'm not saying it'll happen. Uh. Soon. Or even, like, decades after we kick the Hunger in the ass, there's--lots we, uh, should do in between that. It was just. A distant, uh, a distant thought?" Taako rolled up all of those goopy thoughts, packed them in a bag to open later. That wasn't what he came here to talk about. He did this all in the wrong order. Not that Kravitz would mind, but there was something more important on his mind. "I think we should get hitched before any of that."

Kravitz lost his breath for a whole different reason. "You--"

"I know Lup told you something different, but I lied to Lup, that was--back when she wasn't a big Kravitz fan." Taako reached forward to run his hand across the locs in Kravitz' hair. It was easier to stay calm while he admitted all this if he focused on trying to act suave. Even if his insides screamed as he said it. "But it's something I want. If you want it."

"If I--" Kravitz let out a shaking breath. It took him a minute to pick his thoughts back up off the ground. "I thought I. I made it pretty clear that I did."

"It was a while ago." Taako shrugged. "I'd, uh, like to hear you say it again? The, uh, the full words version. If that's. Okay."

"I'll say it as much as you want until we actually get it done." Kravitz found his footing. He was more familiar using words than hearing them. "Taako, I want to marry you someday. If you'll have me."

"I'll always have you," Taako said, another burst of honesty sailing out of his heart and directly into Kravitz'.

That was all it took to get Kravitz to drop his jaw once more. Hm. Taako wondered if he should let some of these thoughts loose more often. This was cute to watch, but Kravitz shouldn't be _this_ surprised to hear that Taako loved him and wanted to keep him. He put that thought in the back of his mind and decided to spend his time enjoying the moment instead.

"Did I break y--" Suddenly, Taako fell backwards. Kravitz pushed him onto the blanket, enveloped in a tight hug.  _"Oof--_ uh, hey, babe, is that--are you good?"

"I'm wonderful." 

"Yeah?"

"Yeah, fuck, I--oh, shit, I'm sorry, I kind of just. Tackled you there, I was. Uh. Excited?" Kravitz moved off of him and helped him back to a sitting position. He made sure Taako was comfortable, and then kissed him as an apology. "I love you. I didn't ever think--I, uh, I was fine with the idea of, uh. Not marrying you, if that was something you didn't want, but." He pressed his forehead against Taako's and beamed. "Now that I know that you do, I, um. Would love to be your husband. Someday far in the future."

"I mean, if I'm being super honest, I've been, uh, fantasizing about it since, uh, cycle twenty-eight?" Taako laughed, purely out of nerves. "Obviously the real ceremony will be better, but it was cute."

Kravitz' eyes widened and they wandered around Taako, searching for a clue to make sure this wasn't a prank. "You've been...fantasizing about it?"

"Got a problem with that?"

"I have the opposite of a problem with that." Kravitz picked his composure back up. Dude rebounded way too quick. Taako wished he could see his flustered, embarrassed look for a while more. But then he leaned in close and whispered in a voice that really did things to Taako and he realized that he liked his boyfriend confident way more. "You...think about anything specific?"

Taako dug into his thoughts. He thought about a lot of things that were specific, but he didn't want to show his hand this early. "I was about to say it'd be nice seeing you in a tux, but, uh, I saw that last week."

"I can wear a dress to make it more special."

"I'd like to see that," he said, and suddenly all his fantasies were amended. Got a little more solid. The image was a lot more appealing with a little bit of Kravitz' input in there. "If we're making it special, how about I wear the tux?"

"You don't have to if you don't want to."

"My job doesn't require me to be a semi-living mannequin for a Fantasy Men's Warehouse, it'd be special if I did it." Taako kissed his cheek. "Also, I'd like to see the look on your face."

"It's not like we have to hammer out the details now. But..." Kravitz took a moment to think about it. He watched Taako with a careful eye. "I mean, yeah, that'd be. A sight."

"You've got a timeline in mind?" he asked, the need to take his mind off of the thought strong. If he thought about the actual event any longer, he feared that he'd end up proposing to Kravitz right now instead of later, when they were both ready. "Of when we should do the thing."

"I don't want to marry you yet. Or soon. But it's--yes, after the Hunger, I'd--um. I'd like that."

"We'll, uh, open this back up after that, then, uh--" Taako drummed his fingers on Kravitz' shoulders. They had so much to talk about, but his mind flooded with good thoughts and it was hard to sift through the logical steps of the conversation. "Do you want to ask, or should I? Like, when, uh, when we actually want to do the thing."

Kravitz answered automatically and confidently. "I want to ask."

"Sure, honor's all yours," he managed to squeak out, even though the image of Kravitz holding his hands and asking for the real thing made his heart bang against the front of his ribs.

"Even if we don't get married for a while after the Hunger, I, uh--I might ask pretty soon after it goes away. Just...so I can call you my fiancé. And you can call me yours." Kravitz ran his thumb over Taako's ring finger, watching it with soft eyes. "We wouldn't have to get married directly after, but is that...okay? With you? I won't ask you in public, obviously, but if that's too soon for you. Let me know."

"No, uh, that actually sounds pretty fuckin' great." Taako leaned forward to kiss him, slow and sweet and soft, with a larger promise behind it. All his nerves were gone and he was left with such a full feeling in his chest. Kravitz had the same ideas he did, even the ones that Taako didn't mean to say just yet. They didn't get into details yet, and he figured there'd be some bumps when they had a longer talk about logistics and specifics. But they were in the same ballpark, at least. It was good for Taako to know that. He didn't feel as anxious about the whole thing.

"I think we have a lot more to talk about on this subject, but." Kravitz pulled away from the kiss, ran his thumb along Taako's lip. The contact sent bolts of electricity down Taako's spine. "I think this was a very good start, and, maybe we could...not talk in private for a while?"

"Aww, did this deep talk about the future get you _randy?"_

"Don't call it that," he said, and tried very hard to discourage Taako from that even though he couldn't stop smiling. "But, maybe a little."

"I'm sure there's something we can do about--wait." Taako broke Kravitz out of his grip and reached for the picnic basket. He pulled out the two mini crème brûlées he made and set them between the two, and fished into the basket for spoons. "No. I forgot to bring these out."

Kravitz made an impressed sound at the sight of the desserts. "You were planning this talk, weren't you?"

"Little bit." Taako handed him a spoon. "I asked Lup and Barry about it."

"Did they say anything of interest?"

"Just that they really want me to keep you." He picked up his dish and hovered the spoon over the hard sugar crust. "You're part of the family, y'know."

"I haven't had a family in...a long time." Kravitz followed suit, never took his eyes off Taako. "I'm glad it's with yours."

"Yours too, now.  You're practically part of the crew."

"That's--comforting. Thank you." Kravitz leaned forward to kiss Taako quick. "I love you."

"Love you too." Taako broke the sugar crust with the spoon, and Kravitz broke his, and it felt like the start to their forever.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> to the americans, but fuck colonialism and sorry to everyone (including me) who had to pretend they were straight and/or cis while visiting family.
> 
> added another chapter because i'm gay and have no self control. only ONE more chapter until the faerun years start!
> 
> also: i'm still answering comments to last week's chapter, i'm getting to them though! sorry for the delay. i'm love all of you.
> 
> next time. um. hanging arcaneum. so you know what's gonna go down.


	20. Cycle 92

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A gift, and a meeting.

Fish liked the rain. They stayed closer to the surface and were easier to hook. So Taako put an enchantment on the boat so that the rain couldn't touch him or Kravitz. A bubble of air around them that water hit and rolled off of like glass. Taako could get his pole outside of it without any trouble. Kravitz stuck his hand through the barrier a few times, enchanted by the effect. Taako teased him for his bewilderment of it, but Kravitz knew him well enough to understand that was his way of calling it cute.

It might not have been the best idea to take Kravitz fishing with him. He didn't know how any of it worked, he spoke too loud and scared bigger fish away. But this was Taako's day off. They spent so much time in the Arcaneum, he needed a break. His project was this cool casting glaive, but he'd been hunched over his workspace for a couple months and couldn't stand how long he had to stay huddled inside.

This plane was mostly ocean, with floating islands and a buzzing culture. It was the perfect place to kick back and fish when there was time. There wasn't much time at all, not with all of the projects and the lessons the crew had to attend at the Arcaneum. But Taako had a spare day, and he took Kravitz with him even though he knew that he wouldn't catch much with his boyfriend around. He wanted to hang out with him whenever he had time off work too, and their schedules rarely aligned.

Technically, necromancy was illegal here. But Barry was so dense he mistook Kravitz' recon mission for a friendly chat, and loaded his memories up before he could rush out to tell on the Raven Queen. He hated disobeying his goddess, but as long as the seven of them kept their wards up, he begrudgingly turned a blind eye to what they did. The years got harder, they had less time with Kravitz, and the Hunger was at their asses. He broke more rules now, not just to spend time with Taako, but to help beat this. The portals started coming earlier, and the Hunger was never far behind. Taako worried that one day the portal would come late.

He tried not to think on that too much.

Instead, he cast his line into the water. He offered to help Kravitz get set up with one, but he was happy enough to watch Taako do it. Didn't even distract him too much. He stopped speaking once he saw Taako concentrate to reel in a catch, and he didn't touch him until a fish was in the bucket to inspect. Even then, he took his hands off once Taako cast another line. This wasn't their first time fishing together, so Kravitz knew how to operate.

Even though Kravitz kept his hands off, Taako couldn't keep his eyes off. Kravitz was half elf and half aaracokra, which was a weird combination. But, considering it was Kravitz, Taako adored the look. Although, that wasn't the reason why Taako kept staring. He looked nervous and kept his hand on his bag. It seemed like he tried to steer the conversation all around, but couldn't settle on anything specific. Taako would ask him if anything was wrong, but figured it would be best to give him a chance to speak up first. He usually got self conscious if he thought Taako knew what was on his mind.

"I have a present for you," he said, once Taako dropped his second fish into the water bucket. "But you have to promise not to take it too seriously."

"What's that supposed to mean?" Taako put his rod down. He didn't want to cast a new line when Kravitz had something important to say. He said not to take it seriously, but that tone of voice said that this was a big thing and he was acting weird all day. So Taako treated it as such.

"I made you--well, I, uh, I guess I made _us,_ um." Kravitz fished into his bag and found something, but didn't take it out yet. He frowned into the open bag. "An item."

Taako leaned forward, eyes peeking over the bag. "Gonna be more specific?" From his hesitance, Taako guessed it was either a sex thing or a big relationship thing. He was banking on the former, considering they agreed not to up the stakes in their relationship until they were safe and away from the Hunger. Not that Taako would hate for that to change, but he didn't want to get blindsided.

Before he could get a good look at the contents inside, Kravitz held the bag shut, smiled up at him shyly. "You didn't promise to keep this light."

"I will take it with the amount of emotional weight it deserves." Taako crossed his arms. Now this was getting suspicious. Kravitz didn't open the bag, didn't show him anything, and Taako groaned. _"Kravitz."_

"That's about what I expected." He looked back down into the bag, gathered up some courage, and finally broke. "Alright. Okay. I'm going to give this to you, but remember that we're at the same altitude."

"Babe, why does _altitude_ matter?"

He held out one hand and took a small box out of the bag. "Just--for the record, I'm not on my knees, so this doesn't mean anything more than--than a normal gift, alright?" Still with one hand out, Kravitz reached forward to drop the small box into Taako's hands. It looked like it should have some kind of jewelry inside, for how small and light it was. Probably had a bunch of padding in the box.

"Okay." Taako opened the box, and-- _holy shit,_ what the _fuck._   He snapped the box shut. He didn't know whether he wanted to run away or fall into Kravitz' arms. His eyes kept fixed on the box, too afraid to look at Kravitz' face. _"Oh--okay._ That's--"

"Hear me out." Kravitz held his hands out like he was about to soothe a horse. "I put an enchantment on them. It's meant to protect you."

"And the fact that you've loaded these fuckin' enchantments into rings didn't occur to you until--until later?" Taako jabbed the box in the air a couple times, and then stopped once he saw Kravitz reach out for it. Oh. Right. Delicate. Taako handled the box with greater care. Even though he didn't know what to do with two rings that looked suspiciously like wedding bands, he wasn't going to put them in danger and break them. Kravitz spent time on these, they were important.

"I'm not an arcanist, I'm not a powerful wizard like you, I had to make shortcuts." He relaxed once he saw Taako hold the box more carefully. "I wasn't sure how to attune it specifically to our souls, so it only really works if we're both wearing them. Rings just seemed, um." Kravitz coughed, and suddenly couldn't look Taako directly in the eye. "It's something both of us would wear, it seemed fair."

"So this isn't a proposal?" The thought was a bit disappointing, but Taako got it--Kravitz had said multiple times that he didn't want to get engaged until they were out of danger. Which was fair enough. Taako was good to go at any time, but Kravitz' feelings mattered, too. He knew that if Kravitz changed his mind, he'd tell him before handing off a ring.

"No, not yet," he said, calm, forcing his voice into something comforting so Taako wouldn't run. "I'm just giving jewelry to my boyfriend."

"Okay. Okay, I can deal with that." Taako opened the box back up and took a look at the rings that _totally weren't wedding bands, nope._ He took one of them out of the box to inspect. One was made of some black metal and the other was made of silver. They looked like little raven feathers looped in a ring shape. It normally wouldn't be Taako's style, but years with Kravitz had him softened on the bird motif, and he definitely loved the spookier aspects of his family. "They're cute," he said, and held the black one between his fingers. "Nice work."

"Thank you." Kravitz puffed up just a bit. A prideful bastard. Taako loved him. Of course, he had every right to feel proud of these rings, they were well made. "The silver one is yours."

"Oh, great, so half of this present isn't even mine?" he asked, but was all smiles. He set the black ring back in the box and picked up the silver one. Yeah, it was obviously for him. Just his size. Taako would have asked how Kravitz got his ring size, but he also had about six different enchanted rings on their nightstand. "So they're linked?"

"Yes. Both are enchanted, but it's different for each." Kravitz took the box from Taako as he inspected his ring. "If, uh, you'd rather have the black one, I can switch it."

"No, uh, the silver is nice. I'm not gonna fuck with your aesthetic." Taako held the ring up close. With the silver finish, he could see the intricate carving of the feather, how real it looked. It was a delicate pattern, but the ring itself was enforced with a solid back so it wouldn't press those patterns into Taako's skin. "What's the enchantment do?"

"When I don't remember you, your ring emits a holy aura. So I can't attack you. I won't even be able to get close to you." Kravitz took the hand that Taako wasn't using to hold the ring and squeezed it. "I don't know how much longer we'll be fighting the Hunger, but I don't want to hurt you anymore. Ever."

"Cute," Taako said, in a bad attempt to hide how blown away he felt.

"And, uh, let's hope it works all the way, because this really isn't my strong suit." Kravitz looked at his own ring and frowned. "I wasn't entirely sure how to link the memory thing to me, specifically, so--if you ever forget me we might be in trouble."

That was a pretty big flaw. Sure, it didn't have much of a chance of being a huge problem, but that was a glaring hole in his artificing. If Taako fucked off and got amnesia, would that mean Kravitz' ring would emit a holy aura? No, Kravitz offered to switch the enchantments if Taako didn't like the silver. That meant the holy aura would only come off of the silver ring. Still, that could get them into hot water. If Taako lost his memories again (he had to remind himself that wouldn't ever happen, it was just one bad year, it wouldn't happen again), Kravitz wouldn't be able to approach him.

Pretty bad flaw, but did it matter?

Taako watched the rings and weighed whether or not he had the time between his own projects to look through Kravitz' work and fix it. But, no, he had to finish his glaive by the end of the week because Lup wanted to test out their new weapons together. By that time, the spell would be fully affixed to the item and he wouldn't be able to change it. "I'd offer to fix it for you, but that'd just take a lot of time and magic, and that won't ever happen anyway."

It would probably be fine.

"It does seem a little far-fetched," Kravitz agreed, and that zapped away any residual worries Taako might have had.

"Does it do anything when you _do_ remember me?"

"Just an AC bonus for you and some protection against holy damage for me." Kravitz leaned forward and kissed him on the cheek, like he couldn't help it. "Just went with something multipurpose so that it's useful."

"Hm, good idea." Taako couldn't take this any longer. He was ridiculously excited to put on the ring. He held it carefully by the rim and checked the size. Kravitz didn't have it written down. Of course. Custom ring. "Which finger does it go on?"

"Uh, third." If a dead man could sweat, Kravitz would look like a rung out towel.

"Babe, you're _sure_ this isn't a wedding band?" Taako asked, not at all put off by the idea. Just teasing.

"It--um, it can be, if you want, when the time comes." Kravitz did not catch on to the fact that Taako was messing with him, and spoke faster than a betting announcer. "I just--I was going to make it for the middle finger, but then I made it the wrong size, and it was easier to size it down than it was to size it up." 

"Chill, I'm just teasing you." Taako reached forward to squeeze Kravitz' free hand just to prove that point. "I, uh, do like these, though. Wouldn't be the worst thing in the world to keep them on when, uh, we need real ones."

"We can circle back to that later." Kravitz looked nervous speaking about that specific aspect of their future, so Taako figured he'd drop it for good until the Hunger stopped harassing them. "But put it on the other hand for now."

Taako switched the hand he held the ring in, and then switched it again. Fuck. "Wait, which one's the married hand? I forgot."

"Uh." Kravitz squinted, tried his best to come up with the correct answer. "Left?"

"That, uh, that sounds right." Taako held the ring with his left fingers, ready to put the ring on. "So I put it on the right hand for now?"

"I guess?" Kravitz laughed. "We're bad at this."

"Speak for yourself, I got a ring before my boyfriend even proposed, I'm ahead of the game." Taako dropped the ring into Kravitz' palm and closed his fingers over the delicate piece of jewelry. "You put it on."

"What?" Kravitz sat there, confused, with one ring in each hand.

"You gave me a ring that looks suspiciously like a wedding ring, you've got to slip it on." Taako held his hand out towards Kravitz, palm-down and fingers extended towards him. "It's a punishment," he said, grin wide even though he hoped Kravitz would see the humor in it.

Thankfully, he did, and let out a quick snort of amusement. "Fair enough." He placed his own ring back in the box so he could focus on Taako's request.

Taako forced himself to watch Kravitz the entire time, even though his preamble of kissing his hand and the little breath he took before slipping the ring on almost made Taako drop the idea of waiting entirely. The sight would definitely fuel his fantasies for a long time (how telling it was, that his fantasies stopped being sexual years ago, except for the years when he didn't have Kravitz at his side). Kravitz pushed the ring on his finger slowly, deliberately, and it felt a whole lot more intimate than Taako expected when he asked for this. Maybe it was some kind of punishment for the request, but Kravitz looked nothing but genuine as he did it.

Once the ring sat at his knuckle, Taako pulled his hand away from Kravitz' and held it out in front of his face. It was bright against his complexion, and even though it was raining and the sunshine didn't reach the ring, it still had a faint glimmer. He flexed and straightened his fingers. A perfect fit. If Taako wasn't hyperaware of the location of the ring, he wouldn't even notice it on.

"How's that?" he asked, hand held out to the side of his face to show Kravitz.

It was a good thing Kravitz didn't need to breathe, since he lost the ability to once he saw the ring on Taako. "I really like seeing that on you. Even if it's the wrong hand."

"Yeah? Well, put yours on." Taako kicked him lightly. "It's a set, that's what you do."

"It certainly is," he said, and reached for the ring box to retrieve the black ring. Without any of the preamble he used on Taako's ring, Kravitz slipped the ring on his right hand. "How's that?" he asked, complete with jazz hands.

It was the same design as Taako's, but with a different material. It was pitch black, but with a faint and otherworldly shimmer to it. If Taako wasn't honed in on the ring, it'd be hard to see, black metal against brown skin, but it suited him. The ring looked like it was meant for Kravitz--and, yes, technically it was, but not in the way Taako thought. It looked _right_ to see Kravitz with a ring and then look down to see a matching one on his own. The thought would continue to make him feel fluttery for a few weeks, but he knew that soon enough it would just be normal. A fact of life. Of _course_ Kravitz and him would have matching rings. Soon, that would be just as constant as the rising and setting of the sun. Only something he'd think about every once in a while, on a special occasion, but it'd be weird _not_ to have it there.

"Taako?"

He snapped back into it. "What? Uh, I'm good! I'm. Good. Great." Taako blinked a couple of times, and knew he must have had the sappiest face on. Whatever. Nothing Kravitz hadn't seen hundreds of times.

"I guess you like it?" Kravitz asked, his concern replaced with a wide grin.

"Of course I like it." Taako launched forward and hugged Kravitz tight. Couldn't stop smiling. "Just, uh. Good job. With. The rings."

"Thank you." Kravitz let go of Taako and nudged him out of his arms. "Get back to your fishing, I don't want to distract you."

"Oh, no," he said, holding on tight so Kravitz couldn't shrug him off. Planted himself firmly on Kravitz' lap. "Ship's sailed on that. I just got a very nice present from my boyfriend and I'm taking the rest of the day off." Taako kissed Kravitz like it was a punctuation of his words, something he could annotate and reference in an academic paper. "We'll go back to shore and find a nice place for lunch, how's that?"

"Only if you're sure," Kravitz said, more shy than he had any right to be. "Really, this, uh--you don't need to make a big deal of this."

"Not making a _deal_ of it," he said, and then made a deal of kissing Kravitz again. "I--uh, probably won't be able to concentrate on fishing anymore, so, why not just let myself get distracted?"

"Oh, I can distract you." Laughter bubbled up in Kravitz' throat as he pressed their foreheads together, and _fuck_ that was cute. He looked behind them, out past their boat and the enchantment still keeping them dry from the rain. "Still need to row to shore, though."

Now, Taako bolted out of his arms. "Mhmm, go ahead." He kicked at the oar and grinned.

Kravitz shook his head. "Hey, now, you're going to help."

_"I can't speak Common,"_   Taako said in Elvish, and that was a pretty shitty bluff considering Kravitz was _half elf_ this year, but when Taako committed to a game, he _committed._

_"Yes you can, dear, come here,"_ Kravitz said, also in Elvish. He reached towards Taako, but he scooted out of his reach before he could catch him. Kravitz frowned and reached farther. "Taako--"

Forgetting that boats had a weight balance they needed to keep to stay afloat, Taako backed up until he sat on the edge of the boat and capsized it. Both fell into the water and sank below the surface, although Taako had to swim up faster to come for air. The spell keeping the rain off them broke and the two were drenched above and below, all of Taako's fishing gear spilled out in the water. Taako held his arms over the bottom of the boat to balance in the water, and Kravitz breached the surface to join him moments later. They both stared at each other, breathing heavily, soaked all the way through, and laughed until their lungs gave out.

"Well, that was a bust," Taako said, and reached over the boat to grab at Kravitz' hand. "Want to portal us back to shore?"

Kravitz smiled and shook his head. "I can't use portals with you this year, my Queen will sense your presence and I'll have to put you in the Stockade." 

Taako blinked. "Shit."

"Mhmm." Kravitz kissed Taako's hand and let it go. He levitated out of the water and called his scythe. "That's what you get."

"Wait, where are you going?"

"Oh, _you_ can't use the portal," he said, a wild twinkle in his eye as he tore open a rift in space, "but I can."

"Fuck you!" Taako tried to scramble back up on the boat to catch Kravitz, but he couldn't hold onto anything with a solid grasp. Too wet and too smooth.

"See you on the shore, love!" Kravitz jumped through the rift and waved on his way out. "I'm positive you can figure it out!"

Taako grumbled, knowing he lost this game. Every once in a while he'd get a reminder that his boyfriend was just as much of an ass as he was. Great minds think alike. Taako liked that cocky side. Made things interesting. Of course, he had no problem levitating the boat back upright and fishing his gear out of the water. He enchanted the oars to row for him, even though he could have done it himself. But he wanted to be as high-energy as he could to meet up with Kravitz, as a big _fuck you, I showed you!_

An hour later he met Kravitz at a cute little seafood place on shore and was given one (1) apology and a towel to dry off with. And then Kravitz made fun of him for a bit, but it was fine because Taako made him pay for lunch. Not that he wouldn't anyway. It was just the principal of the thing. He got a bigger apology once they were out of the public eye, before Kravitz had to leave.

He shrugged it off and assured Kravitz he had a fun time even with all the manual labor, and found himself staring at Kravitz' ring as they both laughed it off.

* * *

These meetings always made Taako nervous.

They had these meetings at least once per year, now, as they tried to workshop some way to cut the Hunger down. Taako hated every single one of them, hated the way Kravitz held his hand under the table and squeezed it when their solutions were less than perfect. This time felt different, too. Worse. Barry and Lup called the whole crew and Kravitz to the dinner table. It must have been important, since Lup asked him to go chase the scouts away. The two went on this long explanation of the planar system complete with illusory diagrams floating in the air, things the crew already knew. With all this preamble, Taako assumed the two of them actually had something.

God, he wished they had something.

"I've been trying to figure out why the Light follows us down into these new worlds and I--I don't know. There's so much about the Light that we don't understand." The projection on the table showed the Light following their ship down into the planar system and the Hunger devouring it as the ship flew out, over and over and over again. "What I do know, though, is how the Hunger keeps finding us."

The projection zoomed in on the Light, and as it got bigger, they could see waves of energy radiating off of it.

"This is that force. That desire to be desired. That--that the Light gives off." Barry pointed his wand at the ripples.

"Ahem--" Magnus coughed, and then stuck his finger in the air like he was saying something earth-shattering. "Crave-craveability."

"It's the craveability. That the Light gives off." Barry rolled his eyes. Didn't seem like he was a fan of that one. "It's--it's a signal. It's a beacon. And it reaches well beyond the edges of our reality. The Hunger's scouts are attuned to it. They're able to follow it as easy as a path."  Suddenly, the projection stopped. "Unless!"

The rest of the crew chimed in a few times, eyes glued to the spot where the projection was moments ago. "Unless..."

"Unless we interrupt it." The projection showed the waves of energy again, but this time they were weaker. Barely visible. "If we can reduce the signal's strength to--according to my calculations, about fifteen percent or so--it won't be able to escape the boundaries of our reality. The Hunger won't know where to find us." For the first time since the beginning of the conversation, Barry seemed excited. "We can hide, wait it out. Starve it out."

"And, we can do that with artificing." Lup touched the projection in front of her and it rippled a little bit. "We can divide the Light of Creation into seven parts--"

Taako squinted at the image, did some dreaded math in his head, and found something off. "Wouldn't it be easier to cut it into an even number?"

"It would, but I've seen Kravitz' artificing, and it sucks." Lup shrugged at Kravitz, but didn't look all that apologetic. "Sorry." 

"No offense taken." Kravitz took Taako's hand, and Taako could see him staring at both their rings. "I've already made the only item I need, I don't have any use for more."

"Cute. Anyway, we only need it split into seven parts to weaken the signal. We can hide those parts in magic items." She frowned, as she thought ahead. There was something the two of them left out, but they hadn't gotten to it yet. They didn't dare to. "And those items, well...they'll be incredibly powerful, but the signal will be weak!"

Barry nodded, and then frowned. "There's one problem with this plan. That--that craveablility?"

Magnus drummed his fingers on the dining table. "Mhmm?"

"It needs to be fed. If it doesn't, this division, it won't take. That means once we make these items, we can't just keep 'em for ourselves. We'll have to let them circulate out in the world and..." Barry turned off the projection and folded his hands. "Let them be...quested after, and, valued, and pursued. Only then will this plan work, and it will work." That last part sounded more like Barry had to remind himself, and not the rest of the crew. "So, uh...what do you all think?"

They all stared at the empty space on the table. Taako had to admit it sounded solid. He glanced over and saw Kravitz enraptured. He wanted this to end so bad. So did Taako, if he was being honest with himself. He needed to get on with his life. Lucretia sat there, visibly uncomfortable, and Davenport considered it. Merle watched with indifference. It was a big decision, for sure, but it was the only lead they had in years. Everyone was tired. They'd take any option.

Magnus was the first to pipe up. "Well, it's better than what we had before, which was nothing."

"Right, as an improvement on nothing, I'm very high on it," Taako agreed, and Magnus hummed in approval. "Yeah, I'm for it. Is there...is it gonna be dangerous?"

"Yeah, I don't--I don't know that I wanna be responsible for putting anything dangerous out into the world." Lucretia sat straighter in her seat. Usually, she'd stay quiet for things like this, but she couldn't take her own silence. "Barry, Lup, I--I know you know your stuff, it's just...the Light is a sickeningly powerful energy source. Any items powered by that energy are going to be...devastating."

Merle didn't seem fazed at all. "Eh, we could keep an eye on 'em."

"If the Light is separated into so many pieces, shouldn't that negate most of the power it could feed into those items?" Kravitz asked, completely out of his element. It was still cute that he tried. "I'm no arcanist, but if you cut it into seven pieces, that's...a lot of reduced power."

Barry didn't even acknowledge Lucretia's concerns or Kravitz' question and kept on with his explanation. "Listen, this, part of this plan is, once we put 'em out there, they're out there." Barry looked around the table, explaining the process as clearly as possible. "We have to let them be...craved. Or else it's not gonna work."

"So...but the first time though, we can sell 'em, right? For sure?" Taako elbowed Kravitz and hammed up his question to Lup. This table got too quiet. He couldn't stand it. "Like, we're gonna be able to turn a profit here."

Both Lup and Kravitz laughed, but the rest of the table stayed eerily silent. Lup saw the concern on all their faces and said, "however we put them out into the world, it's up to us, but from that point on, we kind of just have to let it be."

Just let it be. Taako could make his peace with that. It was a hell of a lot better than what they had. He didn't even think about the people he met with on every planet as people anymore, they were just props on his crazy journey across the multiverse. But the rest of the table wasn't on board immediately. They took a few minutes to chew through this information, process it, and decide if they wanted to go through with it.

Eventually, Magnus slammed his hand on the table and broke through the silence. "Here's my thinking on thi--as far as the danger thing goes, I'm...I've been thinkin' about this for a while, about ninety-two cycles now, and, you know that feel--I--I don't know if you all feel this, but that feeling when we arrive to a new plane, and it's populated?" He looked around the table and continued when he saw a couple nods of approval. "And this feeling of fear, and, like, regret, that there are people here that even if we get the Light, it still isn't great for them." Magnus continued on, and the rest of the table seemed to agree with them. But it went right in one of Taako's ears and out the other. That wasn't how he felt at all, but. If Magnus could get the rest of the table on board with this plan so they could get out of this, he was all for that. "And--is a little bit of danger out in the world...isn't that better? Than the entire world being destroyed?"

"Magnus, I've been thinking about that this whole time too," Lucretia said, cut right through Taako's surprise that Magnus was able to make a pragmatic decision for once. "And...I've come up with a plan also, and I didn't think it was ready, but I think now is the time to talk about it."

The table perked up. A second option. Taako liked to know his options. If Lup liked her plan better, maybe he'd consider it too.

"I think I can channel the Light into a spell." Lucretia looked around the table with a wild twinkle in her eyes, something they hadn't seen since she fixed and flew the ship all on her own. "A warding spell, to defend against the Hunger's advances."

Lucretia conjured up another barrier that looked a lot like the one Barry had set up minutes before. Except, this one had a barrier around the central plane. "I've been practicing this spell for decades now. A final barrier. With the aid of the Light, I can weave it around an entire plane. Ant it will be strong enough to keep out everything. And that includes the Hunger."

That certainly seemed more enticing. A whole lot less death. Magnus and Merle brightened up at the words, and even Davenport cracked a smile. That could be the end of it. No casualties. Taako turned to look at Lup and Barry, and--

Nope.

He knew in an instant that Lup wasn't a fan.

And, after another glance, he could see Kravitz visibly uncomfortable. His eyes darted from the closed off Material plane to the Astral plane to the Celestial plane, and then over to Taako. This plan didn't seem dangerous on the surface, but Kravitz looked. Afraid. It took Taako a moment to figure out why, since there wasn't any real danger, it would just cut the planes off, and--

Oh. _Oh._   Shit. Nope. No, they couldn't do this plan. Completely out of the question. Taako's face turned to stone as he watched the rest of the crew gawk at the new plan, unaware of how wrong it was.

Lup put her eyes on Kravitz, and then Taako, and then turned to Lucretia. "Lucretia, that's...let me show you something."

Lup brought out her wand and created threads out from Lucretia's projection, all trapped in her bubble. She showed the plane without the bubble and the threads extended out past the projection, all around the room. "If that barrier cuts off everything from the outside, you risk severing the bonds between this world and the rest of existence. A world cut off like that..." The bubble came back in the projection and the bond threads dimmed. "I'm sorry, Lucretia, but it...it won't survive."

"You don't know that. We don't know anything about what the Light is capable of." Lucretia frowned. Defensive of her plan even though she couldn't see the glaring flaw right in the middle.  "Even if that's true, fine, this world has some lean years until we starve the Hunger ou--"

"I--wouldn't be able to survive like that." Kravitz spoke with an oddly calm tone. Taako knew he only used that when he tried his best not to explode. "My form and my soul is tied to my goddess, if we cut off the Material plane from the rest, then--I don't know what would happen to me."

Lucretia still didn't back off. "We don't know if you'd get cut off from your goddess, Kravitz--"

"Yeah, exactly! We _don't_ know, Lucretia," Lup insisted, increasingly frustrated. "I'm not comfortable risking the life of anybody here. Kravitz might not exist, Merle might lose all of his magic--"

"Hey, why would I lose my magic?" Merle asked, waving his arms around like a theater kid that just learned how to project their actions. "Singlin' me out, that's so unfair!"

"You're tied to Pan." Barry pointed up at the projection. "This barrier would cut you off from him."

"What if it doesn't, though?" Lucretia didn't even pay attention to everyone else around her, eyes fixated on Lup. "The Light has lots of properties we can't even account for, what if it will all be okay?"

"I don't know how you're still okay with this." Lup shook her head, had that same look on her face that she always gave Taako when he'd say something that could get both of them in trouble. "We're talking about one of our crewmembers _dying."_

"He's alrea--"

"He's already dead, yeah, so we have to keep the planes connected so he doesn't _vanish."_

Taako was torn between his efforts to listen in and come at this rationally and defend Lup and Kravitz with everything he had. He leaned more towards the latter, since it didn't look like Lucretia thought through her plan enough to actually know the cons of it. Sure, Lup and Barry's plan had a lot of danger, but they calculated for it, and it was putting a bunch of randos in danger anyway. Taako didn't see what was wrong with that. The crew would come out fine. He tried to listen in on the rest of their argument but only saw the way Lucretia defended her plan without any thought put into Lup's. Really, he liked Lucretia, but what was her angle here?

"Now that--that's enough. We'll put it to a vote." Davenport put up a hand to stop the bickering. "Barry and Lup, I imagine you're supporting your plan. Lucretia, for yours. What do the rest of you think?"

"I'm with Lup," Taako said immediately, no hesitation at all.

"Taako, you won't even consider it?" Lucretia frowned at him, as if her plan stood any chance of Taako voting for it. "You won't even consider my plan?"

He looked over at Lup and the determination in her eyes. He looked to Barry and saw all of the work he put into these calculations. And, of course, he watched Kravitz, saw how afraid he was of getting cut off.

"You know..." Taako squeezed Kravitz' hand under the table. "I wish I could."

"I also vote to not get cut off from my goddess and my family." Kravitz squeezed back, a little harder, a little desperate. "I'm sorry. I just...couldn't."

"Here's the thing. I...I'm torn, honestly, because. I love a good shield." Magnus let out a deep breath, utterly destroyed. "I don't know. I mean, I wish there was a third option, where we could just fight and beat them."

"I've thought of that too, Magnus, I promise, I've tried everything to blow up the Hunger. If I could channel the Light into a big explosion it would not be enough." For the first time since this meeting, Lup let out a little sympathy. "It is--it's the size of a lot of planes at this point and you can't just blow something like that up."

Magnus nodded, and then sighed. He turned to face Lucretia again. "I'm sorry, but when it comes down to it, your plan is us making a decision for a world that's not our own. To cut them off from everything else." He frowned. "And...I just don't feel comfortable doing that."

Taako couldn't take this anymore. "Listen, I'm on your team, but in fairness, like, it's a pretty big decision to unleash seven ultra-powerful artifacts across a planet too. Like, we're putting some incredibly dangerous weapons into the planet." He pointed at Magnus, not accusingly, just needing something to do with the hand that Kravitz didn't currently hold with a death grip. "I--again, on your side--but, uh, look at this with clear eyes. We're making decisions for other people regardless, and--how about we go with the option that won't, uh, that doesn't have a chance of dissolving my boyfriend, okay?"

"Okay, well let me make--let me make another reason." Magnus held both his hands in front of him, like he was raring to tell a scary story in front of a fire. "If the seven artifact thing falls through, we can get on the ship and fight another day. If we--"

"We can't," Kravitz squeaked out. He coughed, held Taako's hand firmer, and calmed down. "I mean. Uh. You can. But I can't. I only get one portal out."

"So we have to commit to a plan?" Merle asked, forehead creasing as he frowned.

"Listen, our plan doesn't involve possibly murdering my brother-in-law, so, do we really need a vote?" Lup dropped her elbow on the table and laid her chin on her hand, faking casual. Taako knew she was just as unsettled as Kravitz was. "I'm all for democracy, but I don't think putting one of our own in danger should even be an option."

Lucretia took in a sharp breath. "Again, we don't know that, I just--"

Davenport put up another hand to stop her. "Now, Lucretia. I--appreciate all the hard work you've put into this spell, but I have to agree with Lup." He spoke too calmly for someone of his temperament. He must have rehearsed this in his head a couple times. "You've got tunnel vision, and even though your plan may be safer for the plane we land on, I also don't want to endanger one of our own."

"So you're going to endanger a whole world?" she asked, still on the defensive.

That was when Lup snapped. "You haven't even proved that your idea won't also endanger the world!" Lucretia opened her mouth to answer, but Lup kept on. "Lucretia, it's a lovely idea, but you haven't even tested it. We can keep eyes on it until we reach a plane we want to stop at, but it's not going to be top priority because it's _dangerous._ Not just for Merle and Kravitz, but for the very people you're trying to save." Lup forced herself to calm down, to quiet her voice. "There isn't an easy way to do this, don't pretend that there is."

"I--" That made Lucretia stop. "Alright. I--sure. Sure." She couldn't look Lup in the eye. "I was just trying to help."

"We know, it's just--" Barry stuttered out a few words, but they couldn't quite form a sentence. The rest of the crew looked sympathetic to her now, could see the desperation behind the forceful way she presented herself. "There's a lot on the line, Lucretia."

She nodded. "I know, I was--" Lucretia looked around the room and frowned. "Tired."

"We're all tired," Davenport reminded her.

Lucretia gave Davenport a look that was little bit angrier than anyone expected out of her. The look that precedes a bitter statement that can never be taken back. But Lucretia didn't say anything, just settled back down in her seat. She listened while the rest discussed the finer details of the plan. Kravitz had to run out on a job halfway through, to go capture people exactly like Lup and Barry, and Taako said he'd catch him up when he got back. He didn't need to hear the technical details anyway, he wouldn't have understood.

They would get this done.

* * *

It was the middle of the night, nine days before the Hunger was set to arrive. Taako broke out of his meditation to the sound of his door opening. Kravitz stood in the opening, framed by light. Taako relaxed in his spot. Not an intruder. He belonged there. 

"Hey," he said, hand gripped on the door frame.

"Early again?" Taako sat up in bed, groggy but determined to commit all this to memory.

Kravitz nodded. "I'm getting called. I just--wanted to ask what the plan ended up being. For if I don't--find you before the end of the year."

"C'mere, lemme say goodbye." Taako held his hands out in grabbing motions. Kravitz left the door and crawled into bed next to him, arms circling around him automatically and desperately. Taako held him tighter than he normally would. It always made Kravitz uneasy when the Hunger came in earlier. Taako's hands rubbed on his boyfriend's shoulder blades as his half-awake brain tried to conjure up the plan. "If we get the Light before the scouts come, we'll split it so they can't find us."

"Okay."

Taako continued, slow and comforting. "We'll do the item thing."

"Okay."

"If it doesn't work, we'll go to the next plane. If it does, we're staying." Taako ran his hand along the back of Kravitz' head, tried to calm him down. He wasn't this bad off very often. "If we stay and you don't find us, I'll leave a note in your box."

"Okay," he repeated a third time. Like he needed all his energy to remember this, and couldn't scrounge up a proper answer back. After a moment or seven, he clutched Taako harder. "If it's bad for necromancy, should I still--uh, stay?"

"If you can't stay, then don't. Let us know and we'll bail, too." Taako pulled away from the hug to look at Kravitz' face, twisted up in a complicated mess. "We only get the--the one shot, so, if you're not certain things'll be good, just. Go."

He nodded. "I can do that."

"You should head out," Taako insisted, not wanting to take risks with this particular event.

Kravitz leaned forward to kiss him once more. Taako indulged him for a moment until he didn't, and pushed him away. Really didn't want to take risks on this.

"I love you," Kravitz said, and it was the first time in a while that he said it desperately.

"You too." Taako kissed his cheek and pushed him away. "Come on. Get out of here."

He left Taako one last smile, looked at his ring, and cut a rift out of the room. It took a second, but it felt like an hour. Taako laid his head back on the pillow and tried to dip back into meditation, but couldn't find the right thoughts to send him into rest. He tossed and turned for a half hour before giving up, knowing he wouldn't get anything done.

Taako cursed under his breath and moved out of bed, made his way next door. Knocked to see if Barry and Lup were decent.

This would be a long night.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> We're almost at the end! I'm here to say that I probably only have one more taz longfic in me. I need to turn more attention to my original work, build the brand! It's hard enough juggling my podcast work with this fic, and I've got bigger stuff on the horizon, i need those time blocks! I have a couple smaller fics (2-12k) floating around, and I'll start posting those as soon as this one is over. the FINAL LONGFIC is yet another taakitz one because i'm weak and i had the best idea that i couldn't fucking ignore! but that'll come out after i clean house of all the weird oneshots i have in my drafts. 
> 
> ALTHOUGH i will say. I think next week's chapter will be postponed until the friday after. these faerun chapters are ridiculously long and I need to catch up. This will be the last delay! I just want to catch up on my backlog (remember when I got sick and lost my backlog? i'm still recovering from that loss!) also the week after is. wow! that's right next to my birthday. i can't believe i've been writing this much. last year at this time i had 3 longfics going on at the same time somehow! (hint: i didn't have a full time job back then :) thanks for your patience with this!
> 
> next chapter is the start of the faerun years. it's not going to be bad..................yet :) (see you on the 15th!)


	21. In Faerun, Together

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The gang makes it to Faerun.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> kind of a content warning? there are, like, two paragraphs that vaguely hint to weird gender stuff because this is in kravitz' pov? it's nothing too bad (just a mention during a section about how the corporeal form works and a mention later on that talks about the problems that come with redefining your gender in your adulthood which is honestly mostly projection on my end), it's just Present because it's in his pov.

Kravitz worked for the Raven Queen for as long as he could remember.

He assumed he was made for the job. After all, he couldn't remember his life, or his death, or any details from the previous year. That was fine. He was a tool for his goddess, really, and he could make peace with that. His coworkers all had lives and families and memories, but Kravitz was tasked to work with trickier cases. It would make sense for the Raven Queen to craft a servant specifically for that purpose. He was the only one with his specific job. He often thought it would be easier if he had a couple coworkers in his department, but it wasn't his place to complain. After all, if his Queen really made him for the job, she would know he was capable of handling the workload.

Kravitz came into existence with a black ring on his right hand. He assumed it was something from his Queen, but nobody else on the payroll had one. A couple coworkers asked if he was married, and kindly reminded him it was meant to go on the other hand. Kravitz knew he wasn't married, knew he didn't _need_ to be. Sure, he felt a creeping sense of _bad_ when he was alone on his off time, a missing presence on his side. Kravitz did his best to ignore this. He had a job to do, he didn't have the time or patience to be lonely. He was surrounded by coworkers and the prisoners of the Stockade anyway, there wasn't a shortage of people to speak to.

The Queen made his corporeal form with care, but he could still revert to a soul and possess things, could melt his own skin and muscles and nerves away to show bone. He could even edit his corporeal form if he wanted. For a few weeks he tried out different looks. Some fit better than others. He found he preferred the half-elf look the best, but couldn't put a finger on why. Kravitz was curious, too, and fiddled around with less cosmetic aspects of his form, found that certain arrangements were more comfortable than others. Sometimes he'd change it day to day, sometimes he'd keep the same setup for a few months. Whatever felt best. It was weird how certain things made his skin crawl on one day and how he felt like he needed it the next. He liked having the control, though, and the Queen assured him that it was fine to alter his self as he pleased. He was constantly changing, never stagnant, and that felt right.

And, as far as goddesses and creators went, Kravitz was thankful the Raven Queen was his. She was kind to him, as well as the rest of the staff. He didn't remember having a mother, but he assumed this was what it felt like. She was more than his boss, he thought, and more than his goddess. She'd call him in for long chats, sometimes. Asked how he felt or how his day went, if he adjusted to the job well or if he needed any special accommodations. She'd often laugh and tell him to get a hobby when he answered her. He supposed he _did_ have a lot of free time. Maybe he should have used it to catch up on work.

Because, boy, was there a lot of it.

It even seemed to catch his Queen by surprise, the amount of deaths that they had to process. A sharp rise in the death count a month or so after Kravitz was created. Kravitz was the only person with an intimate understanding of these incidents, because he was often the one sent out to investigate them. There were about seven of these types of catastrophes, and each one made Kravitz sicker.

The first one he saw was a town ravaged by a flood. This would be normal if it didn't happen in the middle of a desert. It caused the whole area to be overgrown with massive cacti, larger than most buildings. He saw vines grow over oceans and watched as forests swallowed civilizations. Once, a vegetable farm grew, but all of the produce was poisonous and wiped out an entire trading route.

And then, he saw hordes of monsters conjured out of thin air, watched as a king spun gold out of nothing. Sometimes it would be pleasant to see a town acquire riches or watch as conjured armies fought, but eventually it would all backfire. The armies would attack their makers. The citizens would rebel against the rich and fight over the illusory riches. It never ended as pretty as it started.

Every few months, Kravitz would get a couple hundred deaths in all at once, and when he'd peek his head in to see the town that was just destroyed, all he could see was black glass. He never witnessed what happened with his own two eyes, only saw the aftermath, but he wondered what had enough power--what had enough _heat_ to sear off entire cities like that. At the very least, it was just damage. Over in a moment. The rest of these effects twisted the world in ways it shouldn't, but the glass was a one-and-done thing.

Sometimes he'd find flowers laid at the edges of these circles.

Once, he noticed a bunch of death counts get higher and higher in his ledger. Every hour, on the hour. Kravitz could never find where these deaths came from, could never find the souls that kept getting killed and resurrected, but the thought made him sick to his nonfunctioning stomach.

Hard, impenetrable shields popped up every once in a while. These were rare. These didn't do too much damage in the short run, at least. But Kravitz noticed that the people involved with these shields had longer lasting effects, always suffered from some form of survivor's guilt. Shields, sometimes, would separate families or were used to protect corrupt politicians. It rarely ended in death, but maybe this was worse.

But at least it wasn't the _fucking bell_ that necromancers would use. They rang it and souls were cast out of their own bodies, placed onto altars and used to try and gain eternal life. Liches possessed bodies of people who were expelled out. It wasn't widespread damage, but it was often used for some nasty cult activity. That, at least, was easy for Kravitz to track. He'd cut down the user and take the bell in his own custody. It was never easy, it would _whisper_ to him, but the things it offered him weren't enticing at all. He was already dead. He didn't want to betray his goddess.

Kravitz usually threw the bell in lava pits, but somehow it found new owners. After the third or fourth pitch into what should have been its end, Kravitz didn't see the bell again. He hoped that meant it was gone for good, but in the back of his mind he suspected it had just been moved somewhere more dangerous.

And then there were the transmuted towns.

These were his least favorite.

He could see the victims in every incident, turned to whatever material plagued the area. Gold. Gems. Even candy, once. That one was the worst. Kravitz found a child at the epicenter of that one. He wasn't sure why these bothered him the most. Maybe it was because he could see the victims in detail, preserved in glass or silver or whatever the _fuck_ decided to eat a whole town. It sucked to walk through streets all made of the same material. Like an art installation for murderers.

Kravitz avoided these phenomena if he could, but his job drew him to them quite often.

And he did this for a year. He cut down necromancers and aided victims and denied the Raven Queen's offers for free time. Kravitz was built for this, he didn't need a life. That wasn't a part of his job. If there was an empty feeling in his arms and in his chest, he ignored it in favor of work. He belonged to his goddess fully and without any hesitations, and had no use for anything beyond that.

Or, at least, that's what he thought.

Kravitz opened the mailbox as soon as he remembered. Ignored the confused noises coming from the general direction of the Raven Queen. He needed to check and see if this was the year. He found a single piece of paper inside, folded once, and opened it up to see Taako's handwriting.

_Hey, babe, we've got relics set up--if the necromancy situation is chill, go ahead and skip the portal._

The necromancy situation wasn't chill, not even a little bit. But Kravitz didn't want to run. This was so similar to the plane Taako and the crew came from, excluding the blue sky and the one sun. It had most of the same plants and species and races, and he knew they would fit in beautifully here. He spent a year in this plane, and it was nice. Nice enough for him to want to stay with Taako. Kravitz knew Taako could take a position at any of the universities here, that he'd love the cities, that he'd find some entrepreneurial itch to scratch. This would be the perfect place to make a home with his boyfriend, and Kravitz wasn't about to let that go so easily.

"My Lady, I have--"

"A question, I know." This plane's Raven Queen reminded him most of his original one. Whether that was a gift from fate or a happy coincidence, Kravitz was unsure. She was mostly bird, and larger than any giant. Incomprehensible to mortals. Beautiful feathers, a hundred wings, a thousand eyes, a million talons. "Some necromancer in jeans used a _very_ powerful spell to catch me up. It's unsettling that he knows how to do that."

Kravitz smiled, just for himself. "Barry isn't typical, he's been doing that for a hundred years."

"He said you're family," she said, amused.

"He is, yes." Kravitz knew he had to do this quick, to ask his questions before the portal showed up. Still, this all made him nervous. "I would like to--uh--"

"Keep them all safe? Of course." Even though she had no mouth to smile with, Kravitz got the impression that she grinned. "And I will. Istus has informed me that the deaths they've accumulated aren't strictly their fault, so I will waive their bounties unless they decided to dodge death any further." Her light tone turned serious, but not angered. "But we need to come to an agreement with the fate of those two liches."

"I only have ten minutes." Kravitz held out his hands palm-first in an attempt to make his motives clear. He just needed to explain himself. Although, he had a feeling that she'd go for whatever idea he'd put out, as long as it wasn't horribly unbalanced. "I have an idea for how to keep Lup and Barry in check, but if that isn't something you're comfortable with, I will have to leave."

"Well, then I'll let you get to it," she said, feathers settling to listen to his offer. "What did you have in mind?"

* * *

Kravitz stepped out of his rift into the Starblaster. Now that he remembered everything, there wasn't a weird holy blockage on the ship, and he could step on just like it was any normal surface.

Taako launched himself on Kravitz in an instant, already kissing him. Kravitz held him as tight as he could without harming him. He looked up and saw the rest of the crew hanging out in the common area. Magnus and Barry were out by their collection of albums, Lup was in the kitchen with the hood open, stirring the hell out of something on the stove. Lucretia stared at Merle, who moved across the floor looking for a dance partner, and Davenport leaned forward in his seat, nursing a glass of wine with a thousand yard stare. The only indication that this was supposed to be a party were the streamers, which were haphazardly thrown over the furniture without any sort of decorative flair.

Kravitz knew them all well enough to understand this wasn't a cheerful event, despite the music and the food and Merle.

But those thoughts were immediately pushed out by another kiss from Taako. Kravitz laughed and held him closer, but needed to say hello to the rest of the crew. "It's good to see you all again," he said to the group, and a few of them waved at him.

"What's the, uh, the necromancy sitch in this plane?" Taako asked, ignoring everyone else in the room and demanding Kravitz' full attention.

"Oh, _bad,"_   he answered, with a humorless chuckle at the end. Before Taako could yell at him for staying on a plane that had strict anti-necromancy rules, Kravitz spoke over him, firm. "But I was able to strike a deal for Lup and Barry. They're safe--once they leave the bodies they're inhabiting right now, they can come work with me."

"Really? That's fucking _sweet!"_ Taako finally took his eyes off Kravitz and turned to yell towards the kitchen. He still stayed in Kravitz' arms, twisted awkwardly around. "Lup, did you hear that?"

"Uh--" Lup took her attention off the pot. She saw Kravitz, waved, and then got back to work overstirring her soup. "Yeah, sounds good."

Kravitz waited until Taako settled back into their previous configuration, and then he whispered, "is she alright?"

"I was--I mean, I don't know, I'm--going to ask her later." Taako lowered his voice too, constantly looking around to make sure the rest weren't listening in. "The relics, uh, they've been--"

"I've seen a lot of the damage, I know." Kravitz frowned as he remembered everything from the past year in context. He was sure that most of the catastrophes were their doing. To distract himself from that bad train of thought, Kravitz leaned forward to kiss Taako on the forehead. "It will be fine, it's only for a little while. We just need to starve it out, remember?"

"Yeah, like, I'm _good._ I can deal," Taako said, in his _I'm lying but don't call me out on it_ voice. Kravitz would circle back to that in private. No need to force Taako to bare his soul out in the middle of a party.

Kravitz nodded and kissed him again. He didn't keep at it for very long, because they weren't alone and because Taako didn't seem too into it. Taako looked _really_ out of it, now that Kravitz took a better look. He pulled away and dug into that tense spot in Taako's shoulder that never seemed to go away. "You're sure?" he asked, and kept it quiet.

"I, uh--" Taako swiveled his head back to look at the kitchen. "I'll be back in, uh, a bit. Now I'm just--thinking. About it."

"Of course." Kravitz let go and Taako ran off to the kitchen. He hoped Taako was just worried for Lup and that there wasn't anything worse beneath the surface. But Kravitz knew that even if the Hunger was gone, they would need some years to recover. This was good. It meant Taako didn't bother to bottle up his problems so much. They'd be able to tackle what bothered him a lot easier. Whatever it was, Kravitz would assist. He already committed to that. Kravitz knew he also had problems, that the Hunger scarred him in different ways, but for the moment he felt good. He had the energy to turn his attention to Taako. He could ask for help when he felt he needed it. 

Until then, Kravitz made the rounds and caught up with the rest of the crew. Everyone was a bit mopey, a little worried, and nobody bothered to hide that from Kravitz. Sure, this was a party, but it was also a wake for the thousands of people that fell victim to their relics. Magnus was most nervous of all, because he didn't see any effects of his relic. At least the rest could see evidence, but Magnus had no clue if time got rewritten around him. Lucretia looked downright sick. Merle was happy and jovial, but Kravitz knew better. Davenport nursed his drink and didn't do much speaking.

Barry found Kravitz pretty quick, and after a couple minutes of catching up he whispered, "hey, bud, can I give you a heads-up?"

Kravitz leaned in closer to hear and lowered his voice. "Of course, Barry."

"Taako, uh, said some--kind of worrying things." Barry looked towards the kitchen, checked to see if the twins were around the corner. "I mean, Lup did too, but. I figured I can keep a close eye on Lup, make sure she's safe, but I can't do that for both of them at the same time."

"That's completely fair." Kravitz frowned, ready to commit everything Barry said to memory. Something other than Lup's attitude bothered him, and Kravitz knew it would work out better if they started to address that as soon as possible. "What did he say?"

"Something about not caring about any of the people outside this ship? I can't get the exact, uh, wording out." Barry scrunched up his face. "I mean, I think you were included in that, he's, uh, still all about you, it's just--everyone outside that bubble? I think?"

"He's mentioned that a few times." Kravitz took in a breath. Taako always prickled when approached with that specific subject, but he knew he'd have to bring it up soon. Kravitz had time to come up with something. There wasn't a rush. "Never at that scale, though. I'll, um--I'll talk to him. Definitely."

"I know." Barry finally cracked a smile, although it mostly seemed like a defense and not genuine. "I just think, y'know, now that we've got a place, we should...uh. It'll take a long time to get back to anything normal. I guess."

Kravitz looked around at the sad party, at all the faces that pretended to be triumphant. He knew better, though. They all did. "It will, but we knew that would happen."

"I guess," he mumbled, and that fake smile fell away. His foot fidgeted into the ground and he stared off to the kitchen.

"You know, Barry, if _you_ ever need anything, you can ask me." Even without the twins, Barry was his friend. He wasn't going to leave him out to dry. "You're not one of my bounties anymore, we're going to be coworkers in a few decades."

"Thanks. I'm good, I just. I'm worried Lup'll run off? I think she's good, but. You know. Old habits. But I'll, uh--I'll keep that in mind." Barry smiled at him, this time for real. "Same goes to you, bud. Y'know, in-laws."

"Are we in-laws if we're only connected by the twins?" Kravitz laughed, and he reached down to twist the ring on his finger. It had become a habit since he put it on for the first time. "I'm not even married to Taako."

"I think it counts." Barry not-so-subtly glanced down at Kravitz' ring, which hadn't yet made the move to his left hand. "And not _yet,_ but. Soon?"

"Very soon, I hope." Suddenly, Kravitz felt as if his ring was on the wrong hand. Or, maybe it wasn't suddenly. It was a final break after years of buildup, years of wanting this. "I should actually go find him, it's been a couple hours."

"He went to talk to Lup?"

Kravitz turned his head to the kitchen, but only heard silence. "Yeah, but I don't hear them talking anymore."

"Check outside." Before Kravitz could run out, Barry gripped his shoulder. He spoke quieter for Kravitz' privacy. "And, hey, how soon is that engagement gonna happen? Feels like we need _some_ good news here."

He thought the answer would be complicated. He and Taako were in this weird pre-engaged state, where they both knew what they wanted but neither asked the question let. He was so used to claiming that they weren't going to get married anytime soon. That he'd have to say some bullshit like _when it feels right_ or _after we're all safe._ But now that someone asked him out loud, he found his answer changed.

He needed to find Taako.

"Not to pressure you into it or nothin'." He frowned. Whoops. Kravitz stalled out for a moment there, too deep in his own thoughts. Barry looked down at his own ring. If a stranger looked at it, they would never guess it belonged to Barry. The flame carvings looked out of place on him, but he liked having a reminder of Lup on him at all times. "I know it took Lup and I a long time, it's. Uh. A big fucking deal."

"You couldn't pressure me if you tried, Barry." Kravitz smiled bright, confident in his decision. "I'm just waiting for the right moment."

"Well." Barry pat Kravitz on the back with a stiff hand. "Good luck."

"Thank you," he said, and left for the deck of the Starblaster. He walked around the perimeter, eyes on the landscape below as he passed. They parked on a large plateau overlooking a field of green, and the sun was just about to set. Clouds flew by at a rate that looked too fast but also not fast enough. There were a pack of wild horses running around on the surface, and the whole scene was just so fucking idyllic.

He really needed to find Taako.

And he did, but it took one whole lap of the deck to realize Taako was up in the observer's level. He didn't notice Kravitz, too focused watching the clouds roll by. From underneath, Kravitz could see the sunset's light bounce off the outline of his face, could watch the wind push his braid behind him. He looked like a painting, the kind that belonged in grand museums that people crowded around. It really spoke to how bad Kravitz had it, that even after decades with Taako he still couldn't take his eyes off him.

Unable to wait any longer, Kravitz ran inside and rose up one level. He found the door to the observation deck and hesitated for one more moment. Taako didn't notice him, still, and he knew he had to make this work. He wasn't yet sure if he would ask, he needed one more piece of validation, but he had the suspicion that he'd find it with Taako. He had his ways. Kravitz opened the door and the wind hit him on the way out. He approached Taako quietly.

"So, this is it?" Kravitz asked. He stood next to Taako and circled an arm around his waist.

For a moment, Taako's eyes widened like he didn't expect Kravitz. But then he relaxed into a smile and leaned in close. "Seems like it."

Kravitz looked out from the deck. This world really did resemble Taako's home planet, except for the single sun and the blue sky. Wasn't too far off from Kravitz' home either, all that was missing were a few extra moons. But he could do with a single one.

"It's a nice world," he said, and dropped a kiss on Taako's temple just because he _had_ to.

"Sure is." Taako glanced at him quick, like he thought he could steal a look before Kravitz could notice. But Kravitz did notice, even if he didn't voice that out loud. Taako looked like he had something to say and Kravitz needed to give him space so he could say it. Taako leaned in closer. "It--doesn't feel real, y'know?"

"Kind of." Kravitz stayed as still as possible. He didn't want to upset Taako's train of thought, especially when it came dangerously close to those deeper emotions.

"Feels like there's--more. To this. That we're missing." Taako picked at some chipped paint on the railing. "But maybe that's just 'cause I, uh. Can't really believe it's all here."

"We'll get used to it."

"Yeah, I guess." Taako turned around in his arms so they faced each other. He spoke plainly, no theatrics, no euphemisms. "Although, for real, it's a whole lot better now that--that you're here. You'd make any planet worth twice as much."

Kravitz froze in place. It wasn't like he was unused to compliments from Taako, but they usually came in the form of throwaway lines or elaborate favors. Traditionally, Taako didn't use his words to woo Kravitz unless he wanted to purposefully fluster him. But he didn't immediately come back with a, "gotcha!" and let the statement stay in the air. It was meant in complete sincerity.

Did that mean something?

He looked down at Taako. Kravitz didn't want to take their relationship any farther on the mission, because it was dangerous and he couldn't see a future. But, here, in this new world? The future was right there. They won it. It was theirs to take whenever they wished. Whatever final piece of validation Kravitz searched for? This was it. He couldn't _not_ be engaged to him anymore. And Taako's face showed the same sentiment, they were both fixed on the same page.

Kravitz couldn't hold it in any longer, the feeling unable to be contained. He wasn't sure if he should get on his knees or just blurt it out, if Taako expected a speech. But Kravitz took one look at his boyfriend and knew he couldn't hold it in any longer. "Taako, do you--"

"Yeah," Taako said, a glimmer in his eyes that Kravitz didn't see often. Only on the days where Taako felt especially sappy or romantic. Kravitz knew he was in for a solid week of gushy Taako after this was all over. The idea of it spurred Kravitz further, forced him to pull him closer.

"You didn't let me finish." Kravitz knew his grin was wicked, knew what he was about to do was pure evil. But he knew Taako loved that, so he didn't hesitate. "I was going to ask if you wanted to go to Fantasy Olive Garden."

All the excitement sapped out of Taako's face. "Oh."

He spoke again before Taako could get too disappointed. He didn't want his joke to ruin the moment. "And if we stage our engagement there, maybe they will give us a free dessert."

"I like where your head's at." Re-energized, Taako leaned in closer. He snaked his arms around Kravitz' shoulders until the two were only inches apart. "Can I call you my fiancé?"

"Only after we pull off this Fantasy Olive Garden heist." Kravitz laughed, so overjoyed that Taako wanted this. He committed every sense to memory, could feel his constructed heart thrumming up against his chest. "But that's what we are."

"Not a heist if we're only stealing _one_ dessert." Taako tried to keep up the playful tone, but he smiled too wide for the act to stick. "And do you think we'll get anything good? It's probably going to be a fuckin' brownie."

"You think that's where it ends?" Kravitz held him even closer, so that their lips brushed against each other when they spoke. "I'm going to throw salad bowls and breadsticks into my cloak while they're refilling our drinks."

"Fuck, I love you." Taako lit up and closed the rest of the distance. He kissed him softly and comfortably. It was familiar by now. Not all of their kisses had mind-shattering sparks anymore, but this one did. Taako was his _fiancé,_ and that thought sent a thrill up his spine and forced him to grip the railing to stay on balance. Taako laughed in his mouth a little, but Kravitz didn't even try to care.

"I love you, too," Kravitz muttered when Taako had to pull back for air.

"Say the whole thing," Taako demanded, once he got his air, "like, actually propose, because that Fantasy Olive Garden goof didn't cut it."

"You interrupted me before."

"I won't." But before Kravitz could pop the question a second time, Taako stopped him. "Come on--no, no, wait--" Taako tapped on Kravitz' shoulder and pushed him down. "On your knee. Here--wait, do you need the ring back?" He twisted his ring off and practically threw it at Kravitz, barely careful enough not to drop it.

Kravitz took the ring with a smile. "Staging your own engagement, dear?"

"You did it wrong the first time, just making a correction." Taako pat Kravitz down until he was in the right position. "Okay. Perfect."

"I don't have much of a speech, I just--you know, felt like I couldn't leave this be." Kravitz took Taako's hand. He wasn't nervous, he knew how this would end. But Taako held onto him tight, so he knew at least one of them benefited from it. "Taako, I already know your answer, because I _know_ you, and you knew me well enough to know I was going to ask before I could even get the words out. And now that this is all over, I'd--I'd like to get started on our post-Hunger plans." He squeezed Taako's hand. "Taako, will you marry me?"

"Yeah. Yeah, _fuck,_ of course, I--" Taako's voice sailed up in pitch all the way back out of the planar system. His eyes let out just a couple streaks of tears, and it caught both of them off guard. Taako didn't normally cry out of happiness, usually frustration. He reached up and wiped away the offending tear, and then laughed. "Wow, _damn,_ I, uh--that's a new one."

"You're such a romantic," he said, even though he had to hold back tears of his own. Kravitz focused his attention on Taako's hand again, and slipped the ring on the official finger.

"Only 'cause it's you," Taako mumbled. He collected himself and brought his hand up to his face to inspect the ring's new location. "Okay. Good. There, right where it's supposed to go."

Kravitz switched his ring over to the left hand as well. Taako leapt down on the ground to hug him as soon as he got it on, peppered his face with kisses. Impressive how he could make a dead man breathless. They stayed like that for a few minutes, kneeling together on the ground, switching between laughter and kisses and an occasional sarcastic raspberry on Kravitz' cheek. Kravitz survived fine without Taako before, sure, but this was where he wanted to be.

"So--" Kravitz started, once he wiped away another one of Taako's weird and gross raspberries, "Fantasy Olive Garden first, or do you want to make the rounds?"

"Eat first, I, uh. Need a little time with...this." Taako pat both of Kravitz' shoulders and stood up. He offered a hand down to let him up, and when Kravitz didn't take it fast enough he opted to pull his new fiancé off the floor. "And we can get the gross chips out of the way."

Kravitz stood, but his eyes couldn't focus on anything in particular as he tried to decode what Taako just said. "The...chips?"

"That they have at the Fantasy Olive Garden?" Taako turned his head to the side, like this was a basic fact of life. "In the lobby?"

It took a few moments for Kravitz to realize what he meant, and then stared at Taako in horror. "...You mean the raw pasta?"

Taako stared at him, confused, and then the realization hit him. _"LUP!"_ He gripped Kravitz' hand so hard that it would cut off his circulation if he had it. Kravitz laughed, and Taako didn't. He gripped the bridge of his nose and tried to get this back on track. "I-- _fuck,_ okay. I. _Fuck."_

"You've been eating the raw pasta?" Kravitz asked, completely broken.

He nodded, slow, his eyes off on the horizon. "I can't believe I'm finding this out in the worst imaginable venue."

"I wouldn't say the worst, you're not in front of a crowd."

"I mean, it's still in the middle of our _engagement,_ but. Point taken." The horrors of the past thirty seconds forgotten, Taako moved forward to hold Kravitz. He kissed him again, pulled at his jacket. "Let's get out of here."

That was all the invitation Kravitz needed. The two of them took off their rings, but only temporarily (to steal five dollar desserts and some breadsticks). Kravitz cut a portal to the nicest (most decent) Fantasy Olive Garden on the surface, and they began their act.

They were perma-banned from the Fantasy Olive Garden, but neither of them cared all that much.

* * *

It was one of Kravitz' days off. Taako wanted to check out the surface but Kravitz opted to stay on the ship. He just didn't have the energy for exploration today, but sent Taako off with a kiss and a request to pick up a couple things for him. They had been engaged for almost a full year, so the initial buzz wore off, only to be replaced with an intense feeling of familiarity. They weren't tied at the hip, but worked interdependent of each other. Sure, they _could_ function on their own, and did for centuries before meeting each other, but there was something nice about being together. Which was why they both committed to the engagement.

Kravitz glanced down at his ring and smiled again. He'd never get tired of that.

A couple hours into his day off, Kravitz' door opened without a knock. Lup stood at the frame with her violin case, inspected the room from the outside. She'd been acting weird lately. More stiff than usual. He knew it was because of the glassings, that the one in Cordelia bothered her most of all because that death count was in the thousands. Whenever one of their relics took over a city, the offending person was just a touch more cautious. It hit Lup the hardest, always.

"Oh, Lup." Kravitz set his book down. He didn't know what to do here, since Lup was most likely here to speak to Taako. "Taako's not here, he went on the surface to check in on the cities."

"I wasn't here for Taako." Lup shut the door behind her and settled down in Taako's chair. She opened the violin case and got started unpacking it. "Just wanted to see my spooky brother in law, is that so bad?"

"Not at all." Kravitz moved forward on the bed to watch Lup. "You brought your violin?"

"Just, kind of realized that we haven't had a jam sesh, and we've known each other for, what?" Lup scrunched up her face as she thought about it. "A hundred years?"

Kravitz only offered a grin. "You didn't know how to play the whole time, so I'd say fifty years."

"Funny." She rolled her eyes and tightened her bow strings. "Hi _larious._ What do you have in here?"

"For an instrument?" Kravitz looked around. He had a few options (Taako picked up lots of nicer instruments during the years they didn't see each other) but the guitar strings were loosened and the cello was packed for spaceflight. "The only one that's tuned and prepared is the oboe."

Lup hummed and coated the bow strings with rosin. "Kind of a weird combo, but I'll take it."

That sounded enough like an invitation for Kravitz to retrieve the oboe from his closet. Didn't need to put anything together or clean it, he'd already done that earlier in the day. He checked to see if it was tuned. It was just a touch off. This oboe could hold a tune very well, but flight always messed up the instruments. He wondered if he could ask Taako to enchant them to hold better. Satisfied with her setup, Lup drew her bow across the strings and just pulled out some simple little melodies. Kravitz didn't need to match her, this was more of a warm up.

Eventually, though, they both settled into playing something from the conservatory, a composition that the obnoxious viola player down the hall claimed was their masterpiece. They never had the chance to submit it, which was a relief because Kravitz had the feeling it would be rejected. He let Lup lead the way, considering his lips were fixed on his instrument and he couldn't be the one to warn her to switch songs. They didn't play perfectly together, not like the energy she had with Barry, but they were competent together. Kravitz had the experience to match most people.

"I know things really suck right now, but..." Lup spoke out of the blue, during a shift in song. "Listen, thanks for. Being a good boyfriend to Taako."

"Fiancé," Kravitz corrected during a rest.

"You two are the worst." She drew her bow across the strings slow, too slow. She finished her note before getting halfway across the bow. Lup fumbled as she tried to speak. "But, really, I--you're really good for him. I probably don't say that enough. Especially since, uh, you did kill him a lot before I could say it."

Kravitz took his oboe from his mouth and looked at her seriously. "I won't kill him anymore, I promise."

Lup nodded. She kept playing and ignored Kravitz' worried stares. He could see her mistakes, could see the way her hands slipped and shuffled under pressure. Kravitz wasn't as skilled with handling Lup's problems, she didn't often come to him for that, so he waited to see if she did anything.

And then she broke a string.

"Oh," was all she said.

"Must have been an old string," Kravitz explained, "when was the last time you changed them?"

"A decade? I don't play it that often."

"That's why. Also you pressed down very hard." Kravitz set down his oboe. Any pretense of a _jam sesh_ went out the window when Lup's instrument was out of commission. Kravitz watched her seriously and took a risk by directly addressing the problem. "Are you alright, Lup? Is there something up with you and Taako?"

"It's just--good to know you're taking care of him. He told me that you're good at listening to his shit. I mean, the fact he even tells you anything is--" She just kept rambling on, the words spilling out like beans out of a bag. There had to be a reason for that, and Kravitz had the feeling it was troubling. "If something ever happened to me, I wouldn't--wouldn't want to leave him alone, y'know? So thanks, for doing all that."

"That's what I'm here for, he's--so important to me." Kravitz had to stop and say that, at the very least. God, he was in deep. But Lup's mood was more important in the moment, and he needed to focus on that. "You know you can tell me if anything's bothering you, right?"

"I'm good," she said, and barely got the words out before bursting into laughter. She knew that was a hard reach. "I mean--okay, I'm not. But. I can handle myself."

Kravitz tightened his face. "Still--"

"I've got Taako or Barry if I need them. And, I assume you, too, but..." Lup looked him over, and then at the wall. "No offense, it'd probably take me a couple more years to get anywhere with you."

"None taken." He smiled weakly, even though she wasn't watching. "It took Taako a long time to get there with me, and that was even after he, uh--"

"Fell in love with you and turned into an insufferable sap?" Lup laughed at her own joke. "But, uh, if something's up with you, then...you know. I'll figure it out."

"I'll keep that in mind." Kravitz stood up. He felt the call to another mission. He really wished he could go on for longer, obviously something was _up_ with Lup, but. His duty. He could try to pick this back up later, or direct Taako or Barry onto the problem. "Oh, Lup, I'm sorry to cut this one short--"

"That's fine, I got out what I needed to." Lup packed up her violin, careful of the broken string. She stood and smiled at him. "You'll, uh, miss the meeting we've got, but that's fine. You never understand them anyway."

"I really don't." Kravitz summoned his scythe and his cloak. "See you later?"

Powered by some combination of emotions that Kravitz couldn't quite unlock, Lup leaped forward and hugged him. "You're a good in-law," she said, out of nowhere.

"So are you." Through his confusion, he hugged her back. Kravitz didn't know what this was but he couldn't push Lup away. "Except for that time when you set my shirt on fire."

"That was when I thought you were an ass." Lup hit him in the back. "Also you weren't there for that."

"Taako tells me things." This time, Kravitz pulled away from Lup. He couldn't stay there much longer. "I should really get going."

She frowned, but nodded. Something still bothered her, Kravitz could tell, but he could try his hand at fixing it later. They had all the time in the world now, time to heal and forget about the whole thing. This could wait until later.

The image of Lup waving him goodbye from the portal became a permanent fixture in his mind, but for all the wrong reasons.

* * *

Kravitz normally woke before Taako, even when he opted to meditate instead of sleep. 

In his defense, work was very busy.

He wasn't used to waking up alone in bed, so he froze. Dazed, but only for a moment. Then, he remembered where he was and why he was there. Right. His room. Taako's side of the bed had the covers rumpled and open. It was still dark outside, although Kravitz couldn't tell if it was early morning or late at night. He thought to go back asleep, but he didn't need it and he wondered where Taako ran off to.

Kravitz forced himself out of bed and his other senses woke up.

Someone was cooking.

Oh, alright, Kravitz could deal with that. Taako just had a cooking itch. He told himself this wasn't anything serious, that Taako was fine, but his feet still shuffled towards the Starblaster's kitchen. He wasn't going to pass up a good breakfast.

He walked in and found Taako at the stove just as he finished a set of pancakes. It'd been more than a year now, and Taako's body hadn't reset, so it was very slightly different. No apparent changes in age. It took a long time for an elf to look older, but he'd get there eventually. Kravitz didn't know exactly how old Taako was, and judging by how he dodged questions he was sure Taako didn't know the exact date either. He was still young, he assumed. Had a few more centuries to live it up. Now that he wasn't getting reset, his cheeks had time to fill out and he looked a hell of a lot healthier. Still some tense lines around the edges, but not as bad off as he was during the Hunger.

Just...safe.

Kravitz took the opportunity and snuck up behind him. He waited until Taako was _just_ about to move the pancakes before he snaked his arms around his waist and dropped a kiss on his cheek. Because he could do that. This was his fiancé. He could do this every morning, once they found a place together.

"Wh--" Taako turned his head to look at the culprit. He snorted as soon as he recognized it was Kravitz, and got back to his work. "You almost made me drop these flapjacks, you ass."

"I would have still eaten them."

"Gross," he said as he shook his head, but couldn't hide that smile. He set the plate of pancakes down on a more secure surface, far away from the counter's edge. "I know you can't die from floor germs, but I thought you had _some_ class."

"Obviously you don't know me." Still blurred from sleep, Kravitz nudged his nose into the side of Taako's cheek. "Or do you think your baking isn't good enough to be eaten off the floor?"

That got him whacked in the face with a spatula.

The spatula did go in the sink directly after.

"No more pancakes?" Kravitz asked when Taako threw the spatula in the sink trick-shot style. He didn't let go of him even after the spatula incident, just hung off of his back.

Taako rolled his eyes but didn't shake Kravitz off of him. "The whole meal isn't pancakes."

"You're making more?"

"I'm feeding eight people, yes, I'm making more." Taako turned around in Kravitz' grasp to face him, arms draped over his shoulders. "Look me in the eyes and tell me one platter of pancakes is enough for a breakfast that includes Magnus Burnsides and Mr. _Doesn't Have to Eat But Pretends his Stomach is a Black Hole."_

Kravitz kissed him, just because he could. "Is _that_ your last name?"

"Why would it be mine?"

"Because I'm taking yours," he explained, and when Taako didn't immediately recognize his point he added, "I don't have a last name, and I planned on taking yours when we get married."

"Oh, well, you're out of luck." This time, Taako did wiggle out of his arms. He reached for the fridge and rummaged inside. "Don't have one either."

"Huh." Kravitz leaned on the counter and waited patiently for Taako to finish his business with the fridge. "Well, then I guess nothing changes for either of us. What else is on the menu?"

"Eggs," Taako said, completely deadpan.

"Eggs?"

"Eggs," he said again, punctuated with the slam of the fridge door. Taako held a quilt covered basket and set it delicately on the counter. "Need to get rid of these, they're about to go bad."

Kravitz lifted the quilt. The entire basket was full of eggs. "...Why do we have so many eggs?"

"I bought a gross." Taako reached in the top cabinet for a mixing bowl. He looked at the basket of eggs and brought out two more bowls.

"Taako, that's one hundred and forty-four eggs!" Kravitz looked into the basket. It didn't seem like it could hold more than a hundred eggs. He dipped his hand into the basket and noticed his whole arm fit inside. Oh. An enchanted basket. Kravitz kept pushing his hand in until his shoulder sat at the edge.

"I wanted to be safe." Taako placed the bowls on the counter and eyed the eggs. He rolled up his sleeve and stuck his arm inside as well. "We might be able to get a quiche going too, that'll freeze well."

Kravitz rummaged around the eggs until he found Taako's hand, and held it. Taako huffed and smacked his hand away, but couldn't wipe that smile off his face. He pulled a frying pan off from the ceiling rack and things went back to normal. Still, Kravitz couldn't shake the feeling something was off. Taako cooked larger meals for the crew, sure, but this was more than anything he'd seen before. Normally, cooking-based woes got fielded off to Lup, but she wasn't any better off lately. Kravitz braced himself and prepared to offer his own help.

"Why such a big breakfast, Taako?" he asked, low enough so that Taako might catch the worried tone of his voice.

Taako side-eyed him like he knew exactly what Kravitz' goal was, but he just shrugged and took an egg out of the basket. "I like cooking."

"Cooking enough for an entire Rebound team?" Kravitz picked the basket up off the counter and shook it gently.

"C'mon." Taako pulled the trash can over to his workspace. He shot a surly look in Kravitz' direction the entire time. "It's fine. You know it's fine."

"Taako," he said, and even though he tried his best not to sound angry, some frustration seeped through. So many years, and he still couldn't say what was on his mind freely? Kravitz knew it wasn't him, that was just Taako, but he assumed that he'd open up at least a little more after all this time. "I know it's not fine."

"Sure it is. We shook off the Hunger, we're, like, all good. All fine." He turned around and cracked a couple eggs into the bowl, silent. He threw the shells in the trash with an aggressive hand. Kravitz wondered how he'd get back on track when Taako muttered out, "like, it's _too_ fine, you get me?" He let out a curse afterwards. It was unclear whether or not he was actually in the mood to address this, but Kravitz would take what he could get with Taako's cagey attitude. Before he could answer, Taako spoke to himself again, just loud enough for Kravitz to hear. "When's shit gonna break bad already? It better get it over with."

"Is that what you're worried about?" Kravitz closed the distance between them and slung and arm around his back, hip to hip. "Taako, if you're looking for something bad, you don't have to go very far. Just watch what's happening on the surface."

Taako ignored him and cracked another egg into the bowl. "But that has nothing to do with us."

"It does, a little bit." Kravitz held him tighter. He could see what Barry warned him about, knew that this was a larger problem. But he hadn't tackled that quite yet. Baby steps. Couldn't just launch Taako into a new worldview and expect him to take it well. It could take years for him to heal, and Kravitz already committed to be there for the whole ride. "This is our world now."

"You trying to make me feel bad about the relics?" Taako's words turned sour. He broke a few more eggs in quick succession, progressively angrier. "Lup's already doing that enough for the both of us, it's not my fucking problem."

There was a lot to unpack there, but Kravitz knew better than to get into that so early in the morning. He'd wait until night, when Taako was a bit more likely to talk. "All I'm saying is that you shouldn't wish for worse things to happen." Kravitz kissed the side of his head. "Or else they will."

That got Taako to stop. He thought for a few moments and cracked one more egg, except more delicately. "Yeah, yeah. Listen. It's really nothing too deep, I bought a bunch of eggs and I don't want 'em to go bad. Thought it'd be fun to get rid of all of these with Lup." He laid his hand on the counter and laughed a bit. "But honestly, it's a lot of eggs and I don't know where the fuck she went. So that plan's fucked over either way."

"Maybe she went to get more eggs." Kravitz watched Taako's hand, saw the silver band glitter from the kitchen lights. His eyes followed the light and he saw a note on the edge of the counter. Kravitz let go of Taako to inspect it. He hadn't seen it before. A small slip of paper with the words _Back Soon_ and a lipstick mark on one side. He held it up for Taako to see. "Isn't this her handwriting? She might be out on errands."

"She better not be getting more fuckin' eggs," he mumbled. Now that he was back in his right mind, he looked a whole lot more concerned about the number of eggs. "I think I took out a whole farm, here. I don't even know where to get more eggs."

Kravitz rolled his eyes and tacked the note to the fridge for easier viewing. "At the market, where everyone sells eggs?"

"That's what they want you to think." Taako pulled Kravitz over to his station and slid a mixing bowl in front of him. "Help me out, here."

"I thought I wasn't good enough to help out," he said, smiling but dazed. Usually Taako insisted on taking care of him. Not that he hated cooking, but Taako was extremely particular in the kitchen and Kravitz took to the skill slowly. He hadn't done it in centuries, and most of the recipes changed since then. Lots more variety and lots more ways to fuck it all up.

"I'll get you into shape." Taako kissed him and dropped an egg into his hand. "I'm not marrying you until you get your breakfast game down pat. Even if you're otherwise shit at food, Mister _I don't need to eat and haven't cooked in centuries,_ I expect a few breakfasts in bed a year from my husband."

"And if I'm a natural expert?" Kravitz held the egg carefully. "Would you marry me on the spot?"

"I've seen you make soup, you're no expert."

"I'll gladly learn, if you're the teacher." He held one of the clean mixing bowls in front of him and tapped the egg on the side. Just. Very lightly. He didn't want the thing to explode on him. "Are we scrambling them?"

"Yeah, 'cause it'll be easy to teach you." Taako cracked three more eggs like it was nothing, and continued to crack more as he spoke. He made it look so _easy._   "First lesson, people say to add milk or cream or some shit to the eggs, but _don't,_ 'cause it fucks up the consistency later on. You can add spices or whatever but only when they start to form. No salt until it's on the plate or you die."

"Already dea--"

"You'll die." Taako could only keep up the sour look for a moment before laughing. "It's okay, my in-law's a necromancer, I could hook you up with some cool revival necromancy bullshit."

Kravitz rolled his eyes and continued to tap his egg on the side of the bowl. Very delicately. He'd have to get a crack in at some point, right? "If I see Barry or Lup doing any casual necromancy, I will have to take them into the Astral plane prematurely."

"No fun." Taako watched Kravitz struggle with the egg for a couple minutes before he grabbed his hand. "Do you _know_   how to crack an egg?"

"I used to. Not anymore, it seems." Kravitz stuck out his lip in a fake pout. "It's been a very long time, Taako."

Wordlessly, Taako hit the widest part of the egg onto the side of the bowl with a stiff whack and let the yolk slide down. He dropped the shell into the trash without breaking eye contact once. His hand reached into the basket and took out another egg and set it gently into Kravitz' hands, one brow raised.

Right. This was simple enough. The basics of basics. He could do this. He _used_ to know how to do this, of course he could do it again. Taako did it at least ten times right in front of him in the past five minutes. It wasn't difficult. A basic skill. Everyone should know how to do this, he shouldn't have used so many excuses in the past. Kravitz was perfectly capable of cracking an egg. He had to keep telling himself that.

Kravitz slammed the egg right against the edge of the bowl and the yolk splattered out onto the floor.

Taako pat him on the back and tried his best to stop laughing.

* * *

It was one of those nights. 

Taako would get so strung up during a day of search that he'd end up collapsed in Kravitz' arms at night. It took three days for them to worry about Lup's absence, and it took a week before they started the search. By then, the trail was cold. Kravitz couldn't portal directly to her. She must have put wards on before she left.

Kravitz was quicker to tears than Taako was. Since the first time Taako broke down in front of him, he only did it twice more. Only during emergencies. Once during a fight that threatened to break them up, and once after fighting with Lup over his death count. The protocol on Kravitz' end was simple. All he had to do was hold onto Taako and let him get it all out. His shirt would get soaked, but it was a small price to pay to give Taako a safe space. It was distressing to watch, but Kravitz would rather Taako do it in front of him than bottle it up forever. The event was infrequent enough that he didn't spend time worrying over it.

Since Lup disappeared, Taako needed to let it out once a week, at least.

Unsure of how to comfort him beyond just simply existing, Kravitz tried to offer some soft _hey nows_ and _it's alrights._ Taako didn't ask him to stop, but didn't seem to believe him either. He could have gotten away with keeping silent, Kravitz knew, but the sight tugged at his heart. He had to try _something._ Taako would calm down if Kravitz moved his hands slowly along his back. He'd protest and snap if Kravitz tried to lay the two of them down or kiss the top of his head. They just sat at the headboard together and waited it out.

Taako never thanked him, but he always made one of Kravitz' favorite meals the next day. He wanted to tell Taako that he didn't need a reward, but if he brought it up, he knew Taako would deny it.

It took an hour for Taako to cry himself out, and Kravitz saw him nod off. Taako's head slumped over his shoulder and he was too scared to check if he was asleep. Kravitz wondered if he should punctuate it with anything, if he should say something more, but didn't want to disturb the fragile moment they had.

Either way, the moment was shattered after a knock at their door.

"Yeah?" Kravitz asked at the door, the most general he could get, not sure who would knock at this hour.

"Uh, yeah, it's--it's me," said Barry's voice from the other side, "you, uh, you both awake?"

"What's it?" Taako slurred. His head lifted off of Kravitz' shoulder. So he _did_ fall asleep.

"It's Barry." Kravitz carded fingers through Taako's hair and gave him a moment to wake up fully. "Is it okay to let him in?"

Taako let out a breath and shifted out of Kravitz' arms. "Yeah, get in here," he said, just loud enough for Barry to hear on the other end.

Barry didn't waste any time. He opened the door and shut it right behind him. Since Lup disappeared, he was a mess. Or. More of a mess than usual.

"It's way past the time when the humans on the ship should be asleep," Kravitz said. Lately Kravitz felt like a sheep wrangler, going back and forth between helping Barry and Taako since they both neglected their own needs in favor of searching for Lup. Kravitz got him to eat and sleep and bathe just enough to keep him afloat.

Neither Barry nor Taako laughed at that.

"I, uh, won't bother you, I'll just cut to the chase. Um. This is, uh, gonna be the weirdest ask, but--" Barry walked to Taako's desk and placed his hand on the back of the chair. "D'you mind if I crash in your, uh, chair here?"

"Oh, uh, I can actually take the chair, I don't need to sleep," Kravitz said as he rose out of his spot.

"No can do." Taako kept a tight grip on Kravitz. He used his other hand to gesture Barry closer. "Get in here, Barold, we can do three.

"You, uh." Barry stepped forward. Seemed like he really wanted that, but his eyes darted over to Kravitz. "That's not--I mean, uh, are you okay with that?"

"Whatever gets you sleeping well, Barry." Kravitz looked down at the bed and scooted over to the edge to allow Barry some room. Taako scooted with him, which left an empty spot at the side of the bed.

Barry stared at the spot and climbed in after a final moment of hesitation. "This really isn't weird for you?"

"If I had to worry about you and Taako, his supposed infidelity would be the least of my problems." Kravitz threw the sheets over the three of them. He pulled Taako close to allow Barry some more room. "Besides, I think it's very cute when Taako thinks he's the older brother."

"I was born _twenty minutes_ before Lup!" Taako kicked at the sheets with a huff. "And I'm at least a hundred years older than Barry."

"Of course, dear," Kravitz said. He believed Taako, of course, but it was more fun to pretend like he didn't. "Either way, you're always welcome here, Barry."

Barry smiled and settled into his spot. He took off his glasses and set them on the nightstand, allowed himself to get comfortable. "Thanks."

Taako pulled on Barry's shirt until he scooted in closer. The three were back-to-back-to-back, which was kind of a weird arrangement, but nothing about Kravitz' life was normal anymore. Still, he looked at Taako incredulously. He never offered to be big spoon to _him._

"Hey, why don't I get that treatment?" Kravitz asked, partly a tease and part in awe that Taako _held_ Barry.

"You're not as comfy to hold." Taako dug his face into Barry's shoulder. "Barry's soft."

"I've been soft before!" Kravitz sneered into the top of Taako's head. "I had plenty of years where I was very close to Barry's body type."

"And yet here you are, not soft enough."

Barry threw a pillow over his head and yelled into it. "Oh my _god,_ if you two are going to flirt this whole time, this isn't worth it."

Taako huffed and cuddled closer to Kravitz. Kravitz shut himself up, but his eyes stayed unfocused on the back of Taako's head. Did Taako want him to change his body? He would, he liked to have variety in his own self, but he hadn't ever taken a request from Taako. He would gawk at him no matter what form he took, but Kravitz wasn't sure if he had a preference. It was a bad train of thought, he knew. It took him back to centuries before when he finally figured out who he was but had to constantly explain himself, especially to his first husband, who claimed to be supportive but wasn't ever fully convinced, when Kravitz felt like he had to prove himself--

"I can change my form to be softer if you wanted, you know that," the self-conscious part of him forced him to say, too eager to please.

"Love you no matter what," Taako said, slurred again, about to fall back asleep, "don't care how, you do you."

Even though this was a bad night and Barry was there, Kravitz' heart swelled at that. He must have heard the anxiety in his voice, must have known that something set him off. Kravitz relaxed, knew that if Taako had a problem with how they operated he would have said so decades ago. He knew Taako was just as delighted with a constantly changing boyfriend, that he counted it as a perk of the relationship. Still, hearing it out loud quelled any of Kravitz' fears. Taako dropped more of those explicitly good words ever since they got engaged. Kravitz couldn't tell if he did that because they were in a new engagement or if he noticed how much of a thrill Kravitz got from it. Either way, Kravitz was a fan. He enjoyed Taako's more subtle forms of affection, but he'd take any form of love that Taako gave him.

"Lup used to say things like that to me, too," Barry mumbled into the pillow.

Taako kicked him. "Don't say _used to_ like she isn't still out there."

Even though Barry faced away from the two of them and had a pillow over his head, Kravitz could see him spiral into panic. "What if she's--"

"If she were dead, I would know." Kravitz reached his arm farther over Taako and onto Barry. He lifted the pillow off his face. "Wards or not, raw lich energy has a unique signature, and I know what Lup's feels like."

"What if she lost control of her form and disappeared?" he asked, and placed the pillow back under his head where it belonged.

"We'd see some kind of residue," Kravitz explained, "liches don't just disappear neatly."

Barry stared up at the ceiling. He didn't seem to believe Kravitz, but they could get to that in the morning. Both Barry and Taako were fading fast, and Kravitz didn't want to disturb them. They didn't get enough sleep as it was, he couldn't bear to aggravate that and force them awake a few more hours while he explained things. He made a mental note of Barry's hesitance and turned the lights off. Kravitz didn't sleep, and instead opted to make sure his family got _some_ form of rest.

* * *

Kravitz really didn't mean for the mission to go on for so long. 

He asked the Queen to lighten his work hours a bit after Lup disappeared so he could assist Barry and Taako's search. She allowed him the time because she didn't like a known lich on the loose and because Kravitz looked bad off. So he'd gotten some easier missions. Things he could accomplish in a normal workday. Get in, do the job, do the paperwork, get out, assist Taako and Barry.

This mission was supposed to be more of the same, but Kravitz hadn't paid enough attention. That was his fault, he knew, so he stayed longer at work to fix it. He knew his work quality declined ever since Lup disappeared, but he couldn't let that affect what the Queen saw. Kravitz had the idea that she'd feel nothing but sympathy for him, that maybe he'd get some extra vacation time, but. No. He couldn't.

It took a whole day, but he got his work situated. Kravitz wasn't looking forward to the angered stares he knew he'd get from Taako. Their relationship suffered when they were both stressed. Most relationships did, of course, and the two would both say their apologies when it was all done. But it wasn't something to enjoy in the moment. They were both at fault for different reasons, and that was something they'd sift through later. Finding Lup was much more important.

Kravitz called his scythe, ready to get lectured by Taako for how long he was out.

He couldn't find the ship.

That was weird. It was normally so easy to clock where the ship was. Seven (or now, unfortunately, six) soul signatures high up in the sky weren't exactly stealthy once they took the reaper wards off. He should have been able to find them within a second, he'd had lots of practice. Kravitz could pick each one of their souls out of a thousand person lineup if he needed. And even if he couldn't, Taako put a little teleport beacon next to their bed. In case he needed to get in while the ship was empty. Kravitz couldn't find its signature either. Suspicious.

He did a quick scan of the planet. Maybe the ship landed and they were on the ground?

But, no, he had even less luck there. It was like the seven of them didn't exist. That couldn't be possible. It didn't look like the Hunger was even a thought in this world. It was just as peaceful as the day Kravitz started here, minus the wars. Kravitz did a sloppy search of them, sure, but he needed to get a fast scan. He could do something more in-depth later.

A very, very bad thought crept into Kravitz' mind as he searched.

_Did they leave this plane?_

He had to believe they didn't. The relics worked, everything...well, everything wasn't fine, but they weren't as bad off as they were before. Even with all the sacrifice, this was better than nothing. It would only be for a little while, the Hunger would starve out and they could collect the relics again for destruction. And then they could use the Light for greater things. They could atone for the horrible things they did, put this world back on the right track. It would only take a little while.

_But Lup would auto regenerate on deck if they left._

No, _no,_ bad thought. Taako wouldn't let that happen. He loved him, they were engaged. Taako wouldn't let the crew abandon Kravitz like that. He was so happy when he proposed to him, he wouldn't drop that so easily. The only scenario Kravitz could see Taako do that was if they lost all their chances to find Lup. They'd get her back once they left the planar system, but Kravitz knew Taako would only resort to that if he was one hundred and ten percent sure there was no chance to find Lup.

_What if there wasn't a chance to find Lup?_

Kravitz forcibly shoved those thoughts out of his head. It didn't do him any good to get into a panic spiral now that he was alone (he was _alone)._ He took a minute to breathe even though he didn't strictly need it. It wasn't easy to push those thoughts to the wayside, but this was an emergency and Kravitz had hundreds of years to perfect his coping mechanisms. It would be easier if he had Taako or literally anyone else in the crew, but. He'd make do. There wasn't anything he could do if he lost it now, when the trail was still hot. They had a harder time finding Lup because they waited. He'd get this done as soon as possible, get it out of the way so he couldn't worry. Didn't think at all about why he couldn't find the ship. He just needed to find it. He could get an answer on why it was gone later, when he had Taako laughing next to him about this funny misunderstanding.

It had to be a funny misunderstanding.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> whoa! i'm back! thanks for your patience on this chapter.
> 
> i know justin said the best way to make scrambled eggs was different on the show, but i happen to know that he was dead wrong and you shouldn't add any dairy to your eggs before scrambling them, you HEATHENS, you just put those eggs in the pan!!! trust me and not justin. if you put dairy in your eggs they won't be as light and fluffy.
> 
> next time, kravitz gets to go on a wild chase to find his loved ones. will he find them? hm. you'll see!


	22. In Faerun, Apart

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Kravitz spends ten years alone, but not really alone.

It only took a few hours to find Barry.

He took off his wards a while back, and it didn't seem like he put them back on. Kravitz didn't find him until a little later, though, which either meant something weird was going on or that he was just so panicked earlier that he didn't notice. Kravitz had to hope that the wards on the Starblaster were just a glitch. That he couldn't hone in on Taako's soul because someone elbowed the wrong button. That he _had_ just overreacted, and that everyone was on the surface, ward-free. It'd be nice if this was all a misunderstanding and just a symptom of stress.

He got a little suspicious once he saw Barry in his lich form.

Barry wasn't doing great. It took him a minute to recognize that Kravitz was there, and even then, he looked to be one bad thought away from falling apart. Kravitz had seen his fair share of unstable liches, so he knew Barry was in a lot of danger. He needed to get him to the Raven Queen immediately. Whatever this was, Barry was still a part of their deal. It wasn't great to have a dangerous lich run rampant. He'd get on the Queen's payroll. He'd be safer like that, he wouldn't have to hold himself together.

It took some maneuvering and a lot of dodging red electricity, but Kravitz rushed Barry into the Queen's court. She would work on his conversion while Kravitz went out to find the rest of the crew. Specifically Lup and Taako. If Lup was dead or as bad off as Barry, she needed to get in here too. They couldn't let her roam around unstable, not just because of the laws of the plane, but also because Kravitz wanted her safe. She'd been missing for too long. Taako said she ran off sometimes, but never for this long. Never for a mission this dangerous. And, Taako...

That was more of a personal thing. But the Queen didn't tease him for it.

But Kravitz couldn't _find_ them. Not Lup, not Taako, not even Magnus or Merle or anyone else. He was a little calmer than his initial worry, so he was confident that he wasn't just skipping over their signatures in a blind panic. Now that Barry was safe, he allowed himself to be more suspicious. Nobody could put up complicated arcane wards on accident. Magnus couldn't even put them up on purpose. This was a deliberate attempt to kick Kravitz off the ship, but he didn't know why. Did he say something wrong? Was this how Taako chose to break up with him?

He had to believe that wasn't the case.

Instead, he kept looking. It wasn't that productive. He ran into the same roadblocks. Couldn't find the Starblaster. Couldn't find _anyone_ in the crew. Not a soul signature, not a spell fired off, no help codes, nothing. After a few hours, he had to face that he wouldn't find them with easy means. He'd have to go out on the planet and look for them in person. This wasn't impossible, but it would take a hell of a long time. They hadn't even found _Lup_ after a few months, how could he find five more? He figured it would be fine to pop into a big city like Neverwinter and just do a quick glance around, though. And, weird thing?

The wars were over.

Out of nowhere, all the fighting stopped.

Weirder thing, nobody in Neverwinter was even aware there was a war in the first place. They didn't know about the relics. They had the _strangest_ look on their faces when Kravitz asked about some of the relics by name. It was like they couldn't even understand him. Someone screamed and ran when he asked.

Weirdest thing? The scars of the relics were still there. But when Kravitz pointed at a circle of black glass and asked where it came from, the townsfolk shrugged his question off and made fun of him. It was _always_ there, obviously, what was up with this out of towner? People had scars on their own goddamn bodies from the wars, were missing family from their tables, and still had no clue what Kravitz spoke of. Gravestones of family that nobody remembered became common, scars were written off as weird birthmarks, and they gave him hostile looks when he pressed farther.

The investigation got him nowhere, wherever he went. It only served to anger him.

Kravitz got back and found Barry in the Queen's hall. New construct body. Not strictly a lich anymore. Still a human, but with black hair instead of brown and red eyes instead of blue. That was the default for these constructs, and he could change it if he wanted later, once he learned the ropes. But seeing Barry like that really hit home how dead he was.

Well, Kravitz was the same amount of dead, so he couldn't judge.

"Kravitz, so nice of you to join us," she said with a worried edge. "He is a bit disorientated, you should take him to your space."

_His space,_ being the sad little apartment he lived in during the year he forgot. The space that existed for him in the Astral plane. The space he abandoned the moment he remembered his life. The space that wasn't Taako's, that was just his. He couldn't stand to go there the moment he got engaged. He'd had centuries of his own space, he was comfortable being independent, but he'd much rather carve out a space with Taako.

"I will." Kravitz held Barry firmly on the arm. He brought him close. Kravitz could tell that the Raven Queen had her eyes glued to the scene, but he didn't feel self conscious about any of it. He needed a reminder that he had _someone_ with him. "I'll ask you about the details of his employment later?"

"Yes. But go ahead, take the day. I think you both need it." Her face wasn't equipped to frown, but Kravitz had the impression that she'd be doing it if she could. "Just don't let him out on the Material plane, he's still adjusting."

Kravitz nodded and then bowed. He walked Barry out of the hall and to his space. He had to conjure up a bed and some other furniture real quick, as it was just a blank square. Geez, he was such a bland guy when he didn't remember everything. It wasn't even Taako that made him more interesting, but the entire backlog of centuries he'd lived before meeting him. Without that, he was really just a workaholic. He was a workaholic with his memories, sure, but he was a workaholic with hobbies and passions and frustrations. And a fiancé. If he could find him. He got Barry into a seat and pulled up another chair next to him.

"Do you know what happened?" Kravitz asked, careful, never breaking contact with Barry's arm.

"It was--Fisher," he blurted out, after a few moments of shock, "I was out on the deck with Taako, and--"

"Is he alright?" Kravitz knew the situation was dire, knew he shouldn't be so focused on his fiancé, but--fuck, that was his _fiancé,_ he had the right to be worried.

"I don't know." Barry scrubbed at his eyes, but his arm missed the mark. Poor guy still had to get used to his body. "We were trying to figure out where Lup could'a gone, but...then Taako forgot Lup."

"He--" Kravitz stopped in his tracks. He remembered the time Taako admitted that cycle twenty-nine still haunted him. How he never wanted to forget Lup or anyone else in the crew again. When Lup told him how hard Taako broke down after that year. How thin and sickly he looked the year after. How forgetting quickly became his greatest fear. _"No,_ he didn't."

"He did." Barry reached for Kravitz' hands as he spoke, needed something to ground him as he recalled the event. "I--in my last moments, I could--tell it was Fisher, so I told him to kill me--"

"That might have been what saved the both of us." Kravitz squeezed Barry's hands too. He needed any form of contact, just something to remind him he wasn't totally alone. "I don't like seeing you dead, but good job catching that."

"This is a whole lot different than being dead," Barry mumbled. His skin flickered transparent for a second, showing bone.

"It's not really one or the other." Kravitz pulled away and clasped a hand on Barry's shoulder. Yes, he was worried about Taako and the rest of the crew, but he'd never seen Barry this shot. Not even when they realized Lup disappeared. At least when Lup ran off, they had a chance of finding her. This was a mystery and all their leads were magically veiled from their sight. "Are you feeling alright?"

Barry kept his eyes forward, not wholly present. "Physically? Yeah, I think so, it's just different."

Kravitz shook his head. "I meant...not physically."

"Oh." Barry took a moment to think on that. His face twisted up tight and he shrunk inwards. He noticed his bone showing through his skin and that seemed to be the thing to break him. "No, uh, no, not even a little bit." 

"Okay." Kravitz had hoped that Barry was at least _a little bit_ fine, because he felt like he would come apart at the seams any moment. It would have been nice to have an anchor, but he could hold out to help Barry. He just had to push away the horrible and growing feeling in his gut. "Yeah, that's. Um. That's completely understandable."

The silence that followed terrified Kravitz.

"Are _you_   okay?" Barry watched him with his science eyes.

"I'm fine." Kravitz hated when Barry looked at him like an experiment, and this was not the time for that.

Even though his eyesight was terrible, Barry saw right through that. "I, uh. Don't think this is the best time to lie to each other, y'know."

"It's also not the best time to have a complete emotional breakdown, so let's just--not, okay?" He intended to make that sound annoyed so Barry would drop it, but even Kravitz wasn't fooled by the waver in his own voice.

"Nothing's gonna get fixed if you're freaking out on the inside." Barry pulled himself together in favor of Kravitz. He didn't like that too much, would rather help Barry out, but couldn't hold himself in convincingly to get him off his case either.

"Nothing will get fixed if I'm freaking out on the _outside,_ either!" Kravitz shrugged him off and stood up, his chair rammed right into Barry's. He couldn't stand still any longer, had to get this energy out. "I shouldn't--we need to get back to work, as soon as possible. We lost Lup, and now we've lost the rest. I don't know if--they haven't even tried to contact _you,_ Barry, what if they're trying to--"

Barry stood up and tried to catch him in his mad dash. "Kravitz--"

"--if they're trying to get back _out_ of the planar system, if they're all going to--"

"--they won't--"

"--leave me _behind,_ I, I thought this was the _end--"_

"Kravitz." Barry held onto him, which was just enough to get Kravitz to watch him. He looked at him over the rim of his glasses, serious and more put together than anyone in their situation had any right to be. "Come on, bud, you know that's not what happened."

"But I _don't_ know." Kravitz felt he was on the very edge, about to break off into a million pieces. Only held together by his efforts to keep Barry in check. "Did I do something wrong?"

Just the thought of that did it, and Kravitz could barely finish that sentence before bubbling off into a sob. Barry reached forward without any hesitations to hug him, and they both held on tight for quite a while. Both lost all their family and so much more than that, and needed to know that there was still one person left. They were practically brothers at that point, and if Kravitz was alone with any member of the crew he wasn't engaged to, Barry was the one he was most comfortable with. He was fine to get it all out in front of Barry. He heard some quiet whimpers on the other end and decided to hold on tighter.

They had the end in sight, and lost it. Kravitz wasn't going to let this go without a fight, but it was nice to let it all out first. To take a moment to grieve and freak out. At least it wouldn't attack him later, when he needed to stay calm. He was safe with Barry, and Barry was safe with him. For now, at least. They could figure out everything else later. Kravitz didn't want to think about later yet.

"I can't speak for anyone else without making a guess," Barry said, after a few solid minutes of contact, "but I don't think you did anything wrong. It might not have anything to do with you."

"Why else would they put the wards back up?" he asked, flinching at how gross his own words sounded.

"We don't know if they did, someone else could have broken in, it's--it's all up in the air." Barry pulled backwards, just enough to look at Kravitz but not enough to move away entirely. "It couldn't have been an accident though."

Kravitz stopped. "You don't think they were attacked, do you?"

"I'm not ruling anything out at this point." Barry's arms dropped to his sides and he frowned. He wiped at his eyes, which were just as wet as Kravitz' but weren't acknowledged out of politeness. "But I kind of don't want to think about it right now. I don't think I'm supposed to get tired but I need a fucking nap."

"Of course, I'll...I can go out and grab you some tea or something, we can start searching after you wake up." Kravitz wiped away some of the mess on his face. He stepped away and left a clear path between Barry and the bed he conjured up into his space. "I'll also have to start your training, but we can search in between jobs."

"Sounds like as good of a plan as any." Barry shuffled towards the bed and flopped face first into it. Kravitz would laugh if he had any humor in him. Barry settled down into it, made himself comfortable, and said, "hey, Kravitz?"

"Yes?"

"I really don't think they left you on purpose." Barry buried himself in the sheets as he spoke, kept his voice calm and even. "We didn't have any meetings where we said _hey, let's ditch Krav_   and--I really think something bad happened."

"That's both comforting and horrifying all at once." Kravitz moved to pat Barry on the shoulder once more. "We'll find them. Get some rest."

"Thanks, bud."

Kravitz took another set of moments to collect himself. With Barry here, he knew he'd be able to find everyone, but it would take time. At least neither of them would be alone. Kravitz summoned his scythe and opened a portal to the Material plane, and the search began.

* * *

"I found Taako," Barry declared one day as he stepped through a portal. The two of them searched for the crew for three months and hadn't found anyone. They had to search the old fashioned way. Checked towns to see if mysterious strangers rolled through. Watched the news to see if anyone started a scuffle. It wasn't an efficient searching system, but it was all they had. And to find Taako first, of all people. Kravitz leapt up from his paperwork to ask questions, but Barry stopped him with a hand. "I can't get too close to him, because there's some kinda aura around him, but. I know where he is."

"Can you show me where?" Kravitz clutched his hands together, hoped Barry would see the desperation he felt. "I--want to see him."

"Yeah." Barry watched him carefully. "Just. Don't freak out, okay?"

"I'll try not to." It really depended on the circumstances.

Barry opened a portal to a quaint little town. Both of them had the sense to change into civilian clothes, but neither of them thought to open the portal in a secluded area. All of this searching scrambled their brains too much. Got sloppy. They were lucky, though. Materialized right in front of a group of teens smoking leaves wrapped in paper. Didn't seem like tobacco, but the two just told them to be safe and ran off. Ignored the shouts from the group of high kids. They'd probably write it off as a bad trip later. And, besides, people knew how to teleport with magic, it wouldn't be that much of a stretch.

Barry led Kravitz into the town square.

Towns like these reminded Kravitz of how technologically backwards this plane was, at least in comparison to Taako's home. Things were starting to pick up, especially over the decade, but they had a lot to catch up on. Electric lights started to gain public popularity, but wires hung all around town to power the streetlights. People communicated using magic stones, which reminded Kravitz of the one Barry made for him (and reminded him that he might want to pick up one that worked on this plane for later). The fashion was downright medieval, with strange modern fads mixed in randomly. Plate mail was right next to crocs, somehow, and Kravitz often had to hold himself back from laughing.

The quaint little town made the wagon stand out.

Not really a wagon. A stagecoach. Bright, bold colors and pots and pans attached to all sides. An eclectic little thing, bordering on gaudy. Or, not bordering on gaudy as much as it was the border _for_ gaudy. One draft horse carried the whole thing, but it was unhooked and left to graze a few yards away. It looked like certain parts of the wagon could fold out for performances, but Kravitz couldn't get a good gauge on how, since it was all packed up. On the back of the stagecoach was a painted set of letters, some words glittered for emphasis: _Sizzle it Up! With Taako_.

And then, an elf exited the stagecoach.

It was Taako. Even though it had only been a few months since Kravitz saw him last, he looked wildly different. He dressed in layers, thick and eclectic with an apron tied loose around his waist and a weird looking chef's hat instead of his wizard's hat. He was thinner, like he'd always get during a bout of stress. Kravitz wondered if he ate enough, if he took care of himself. He knew Taako could hide the signs of stress from his skin and hair with magic, but the harried look in his eyes couldn't be hidden even with the most advanced glamours. Actually, the closer Kravitz looked, the more he saw that Taako _didn't_ have glamours on. That didn't make any sense, he'd throw those on at the drop of a hat, even when he just had a little pimple or didn't get a good night's sleep.

Kravitz wanted to run up to him and kiss him, to hold him and remind him that he existed, that _Lup_ existed. But when he tried to take a step forward, he felt a searing burn all over and fell backwards into Barry. Kravitz looked forward and watched Taako reach for a rope to tie his horse back to the carriage and saw a glint of light skitter off of his wedding band.

He wore it on the right hand, and not the left.

"Oh no," Kravitz muttered, hand clutched to Barry's shirt. "The _ring."_

"What ring?"

"The ring I gave him, I--it was the only thing I ever artificed, it was supposed to protect him from me when I didn't remember--" The look on Barry's face told Kravitz he was rambling, so he tried to focus on being more concise. "I didn't make the effects tied to my soul's specific ability to remember, I tied it to the wearer--so if either of us forgets, it emits that holy aura."

Barry watched Taako. "So we can't get over to him 'cause of your artificing?"

"I'm sorry, Barry, it's--it's my fault." 

"No! Shit, that's not--I wasn't trying to say that." Barry turned to comfort Kravitz, but they both stood at just the right angle to keep Taako at the edge of their sight. "We just can't get to him, that's all?"

"Not like this." Kravitz ignored Barry in favor of Taako. "We'll both be repelled by that holy aura as long as he's got that ring on his body."

"Well. I guess--we're shit out of luck." Barry sighed. He watched Taako tie his horse to the wagon, gears turning in his head. "At the very least, we can keep an eye on him, he--he seems safe, for now, and we can. Keep checking in. But we should put our focus on Lup for now."

"Yeah, that--that should, uh, work." Kravitz wasn't exactly sure what he just agreed to, but he'd ask Barry for a reminder later.

"I'll, uh, go see if I can get his show schedule without getting close." Barry waved his hand around to grab Kravitz' attention, and he only noticed because it went in front of his face a few times. "So we can keep track."

"Uh-huh," Kravitz said, completely tuned out now. Eyes only on Taako. He hadn't seen him in months, he needed to commit everything to memory. He felt Barry's hand hit him on the back and heard his footsteps walk away, but he just had to watch Taako. Which. Sounded creepy, but whatever. Taako didn't notice him, was too caught up in hitching his horse back to the cart. Kravitz might not have had any other chances to see Taako like this, not performing, not distant. Just. Himself.

Which was why Kravitz didn't notice the figure that slammed right into his back.

Immediately, Kravitz turned around to apologize. "Oh, sorry--"

"No, it's alright! I bumped into you." A person in between kid and adult, about nineteen years old, brushed off their vest and smiled up at Kravitz. They had bright eyes and dark freckles, dressed like they weren't from any specific place. "Did you see the show? It was awesome! That guy measured a tablespoon of milk with his open palm!"

"We missed it," he said, disappointed that he didn't see that feat. He'd seen Taako do that trick hundreds of times, but. He always wanted to see more of Taako. Kravitz looked between the kid and the wagon. "What are you doing hanging out behind the cart?"

"I was--" Suddenly, they got very shy and picked at the edge of their sleeve. "I don't have much of a place here, so, I thought I'd see if the host needed a roadie or anything."

Kravitz lit up immediately. He would come in to check on Taako's shows every once in a while, he'd already committed to that in his mind. But he'd feel so much better if he knew Taako wasn't traveling all on his own. He wasn't built for that. And Taako had spoken before of being a mentor. It wouldn't be out of the question. "That's a very good idea, you should go up to him."

The kid shrunk in their boots. "But..."

"But? Is something wrong?"

"But I'm not really a cook, and I've never done too good on stage." They turned a wistful eye towards the stagecoach and their shoulders dropped. "I don't know, it seems like there's better people to do that job."

"Well, you're not going to get hired with an attitude like that," Kravitz said, his worry for Taako cast aside for a moment. This kid was really down in the dumps, and even if they weren't going to go work for his fiancé, he hated seeing that dreary look. "What are you good at?"

"I, um, I've got vehicle proficiency, and, I'm pretty damn good at moving machinery around."  They laughed to themselves, purely out of nerves. "And, uh, I can work pretty hard! Ambitious, you know."

"Considering the host can already cook and perform, maybe he doesn't need an assistant that does the same thing." Kravitz spoke calmly. He didn't want to outright tell this kid why he wanted Taako to have an assistant, but he figured he could nudge them in that direction. "Nothing will come of that if you don't ask."

"You're right." Their smile turned bright once again. "Thank you so much!"

"Maybe after enough studying, your name will be up in lights, too." Kravitz relaxed his shoulders, happy that the kid was in higher spirits and that Taako (maybe) wouldn't be alone. "Who should I be on the lookout for?"

"Thanks! That's--I never even thought of that! And it's Sazed!" The kid waved and ran off. Kravitz watched them approach Taako and babble on for a few moments. Taako looked annoyed, but there was some amusement there. He looked behind Sazed, perhaps to check and see if there was anybody else in the area. Kravitz met eyes with him for half a second--

\--and then Taako ushered the kid out in front of the stagecoach to speak about business.

Barry came back with a couple pamphlets in his hands. He asked Kravitz a few questions, but he was too dumbstruck to answer. Barry didn't prompt him to answer immediately, but took him back to their space in the Astral plane. Kravitz took one of the brochures and studied the projected tour route, memorized it, and decided he would go see the first show he was available for.

He wasn't sure why Taako had a _stagecoach._ Sure, he had a flair for the dramatic, but his charisma score was garbage and he was a fairly private person. Not that Taako wasn't capable of a performer's job, he could do anything if he really wanted to. It just didn't seem like something he'd want to do. It felt more like a job someone other than Taako would assume he'd like. It didn't put him in a specific place, kept him traveling around. Which looked alright on the surface, but Kravitz worried that it would be too similar to his early years. Sure, Taako liked his share of adventure and hated stagnancy, but he'd expressed multiple times that he was tired of running around and wanted to just put a stake in a piece of dirt and say it was his.

Well, the stagecoach was as close to a piece of property as Kravitz could hope for Taako. If he was going to be any sort of performer, he supposed that a cooking show host suited him the most. He was passionate enough about it that he could use it as entertainment, and he had his fair share of tricks in the kitchen. Elves were especially resilient to shocking life changes, could pick up new skills in a flash. Taako was fairly career orientated, so this would be something nice for him to work towards. He was good enough at entertaining, he was alright at acting to hide his true feelings. He could do this. It was a good thing. It was good for him, Kravitz told himself, over and over again as he read through the flashy pamphlet.

At least Taako was safe and easily tracked. He could keep an eye on him.

* * *

"This feels bad," Barry said, eyes on the horizon. 

Kravitz and Barry sat on flimsy folding chairs on the beach, too nervous to venture farther into the reception area. Beach dwarves knew how to party, and the two of them felt horribly out of place. It didn't take a lot to sneak into the ceremony. All they had to do was bring an expensive gift and pretend that they lost their invitation. The ceremony was fine, something simple on the beach, but the reception was where the event shined.

He looked at Merle, who just finished off his first dance with his new wife. She was nice enough. She greeted Barry and Kravitz even though she didn't know them. She assumed that they were Merle's friends (which was correct, but it wasn't as if Merle knew) and didn't stick around to chat. Merle didn't speak to her much after the ceremony, and just sleazed around the reception like he was still single. He didn't seem that interested in her. Sure, he didn't seem hostile towards her, but there wasn't any sparks between the two.

Merle had a wonderful capacity for love and affection, but he never showed any interest in marriage. Barry overheard a conversation from two of the bride's cousins. It was arranged. Kravitz couldn't say he was a fan of that, but he was also a sap that believed in marrying for love above everything else.

He still wished he tied that knot while he had the chance.

"It does." Kravitz gripped the seat of his chair and leaned forward, nervous. "Should we leave?"

"I wouldn't be able to forgive myself if we did." Barry kept his eyes on Merle. He dipped back into silence until a chill ran through the beach and the sun crawled closer to the horizon. The two didn't have much to do at the reception, and could only sit there in shock. "Hey, can I ask you a question?"

"Anything."

Barry did everything he could to avoid eye contact with Kravitz. His eyes stayed at the waves, watched the sunset reflected in the seafoam. "Why d'you think we can't find Lucretia or Davenport?"

"Pure luck, I'm guessing?" Kravitz clasped a hand on Barry's shoulder. They both had a good amount of practice comforting each other, and Kravitz could recognize when Barry was hurting a lot quicker than he ever had before. "I'm sure they're both safe. The three of them are always safe when I check up on them."

Finally, Barry side-eyed him. "I saw Magnus punch a police officer."

"That's Magnus," Kravitz said, and they both got a few laughs out of that one. "When we figure this all out, do you think Merle will remember we were here?"

"We stick out enough." Barry held out his arms as if he was just doused in water. He wore nice clothes for the reception. Nicer than some of Merle's actual family. It wasn't Barry's first time in a suit but he swore he couldn't make it work. Kravitz helped show him how to carry himself, which fixed most of the issues except for the self-doubt. "Are you sure it looks okay?"

"Yes, and if you doubt me I'll consider it an insult."

Barry smiled. "I'm doubting you."

Kravitz shoved him and he fell into the sand with a muted sound. A few of the guests cast disapproving eyes at them, but moved on with their lives. Didn't help Barry up. Not that they had the chance to, since Kravitz had his arms down to lift Barry up onto another chair seconds after he processed the whole thing.

"His wife's got a daughter, you know," Barry said, again, out of nowhere.

"Oh." Kravitz suddenly found himself transported to the moment Taako admitted he wanted a family someday. The face Taako made when Kravitz told him he wanted the same was etched into his mind forever. Taako didn't go soft like that often, but Kravitz loved it when he did.

"Can you imagine Merle as a dad?"

The words fell right through Kravitz' ears. He launched himself back into that memory, all of the nights that followed it. All the times Taako sputtered out his dreams of having a space with Kravitz. When Taako got so drunk once that he rattled off fifty cat names. When he went through a series of family recipes and said that Kravitz was allowed access to them, too. When he demanded that they adopt any kids they got, even though Taako could probably magic them a flesh kid that was biologically theirs.  

"Hey, bud," Barry said, pulled Kravitz out of his thoughts and back into the conversation. "Sorry, was that--are you okay?"

"I'm fine. I just thought of Taako again." Kravitz held in the waver in his voice, made himself sound together. It had been years, he shouldn't still get incapacitated after every little thought about Taako. He needed to go see another show when he had the chance. "We had plans."

Barry nodded. He didn't ask specifics. He didn't need to. "We'll get to 'em later. Just gotta figure out what's going on."

The rest of the guests avoided them as the reception drew to a close. Merle and his wife left with an unsubtle wink and an even less subtle kick to the shin. Kravitz wasn't sure if that was an inside joke between the two or if both of them were in for a bad marriage. He hoped it was the first one. He hoped they would keep an open marriage, for both Hecuba and Merle's sake. But that wasn't any of his business, so he'd neither ask nor suggest it.

It was a good time for the pair to leave. Barry stood first, and waited for Kravitz to follow. They agreed it would be weird to cut a portal right on the beach, so they'd have to find an alley first on the boardwalk. Kravitz didn't want to leave, not yet. Maybe it'd be nice if the two of them went out to a bar before hitting the Astral plane again. Kravitz took a moment to watch the sky. The sunset came and went hours before, but now the clouds parted to show the moons. The moons? Kravitz frowned.

"Hey, Barry?"

"Yeah?"

Kravitz pointed to the sky. "How many moons did this planet have, again?"

"I thought it was just the one." Barry looked up and squinted at the moons. "But it looks like there's two, so I could be wrong. Wasn't really paying attention."

He could have sworn there was only one moon in the sky before. But, also, Kravitz was busy and he'd been to a lot of different planets. He wasn't an astronomer. There was a lot more to worry about than extra moons in the sky.

Barry left the beach and Kravitz followed him. They found a bar and toasted to Merle and hoped, again, that they'd find out how to reverse the shitty situation they found themselves in.

* * *

"Sorry, we didn't decide that you had to get murdered," Kravitz said, his patient tone lost about an hour ago, "and honestly there's not much we can do--" Kravitz ducked and barely dodged another axe. Usually for restless souls he would conjure up a room that would relax them. This soul was some kind of craftsman, so he made a nice little woodcarving shop for her. She wasn't amused at all, and immediately used every tool at her disposal to attack him and Barry.

Usually he wouldn't get put on something this mundane, either. But Barry was still in training and he still did some of these smaller calls. Not that this one turned out to be simple at all. Even with the two of them, they couldn't get their words past her axes and knives and huge slabs of wood.

"I'm not going into the Sea alone," she said, and ripped a hatchet off the wall. The woman was very short and stocky, about Barry's size, but infinitely stronger than him. Not that Barry was weak, but this woman looked like she grew up chopping down trees. The kind of strong that wasn't just for show at a bodybuilder convention, but the strength that came with muscle layered under fat and bulk, a firm and steady force of nature. Kravitz assumed she was half orc or something. But her race was completely ambiguous, with traits from different species across the board. Pointed ears, but not clear whether those were from elf or gnome. Shorter than most humans, but taller than any halfling or dwarf. Skin that was neither fair nor dark, hair that was neither straight nor textured. Someone that came from a bunch of half races mixed together over generations.

"You won't be alone, my records show you have family in the Sea." Kravitz turned to her page in his ledger. "Now, Miss--"

_"Missus,"_   she corrected, nose turned upwards. "I'm married."

"Oh. _Oh_ , you're waiting for someone else." Kravitz twisted his face up. The words brought Taako's face to the surface of his mind for a moment, but he pushed that away in favor of work. It had been years, he knew how to pull himself together. Kravitz flipped to a new page in his book. "We actually do have protocol for that, hang on..."

"No--" The woman's hands caught on Kravitz' and stopped the pages from turning. "I mean, yes, if you can, but. Listen, I wasn't--it was really goddamn unfair. I don't want to leave my husband alone." She took her hand away and thought for a moment. She smiled once she came up with a suitable arrangement. "Can't people play chess or cards with Death to get, like, an extension or something?"

"You can certainly try, but I'm very good at chess." It was a good thing Kravitz had his skull face on, or else he'd have to pull back a very wide smile. Souls that tried to bargain for their deaths with this amount of confidence always reminded him of Magnus. "Also that doesn't do you much good once you've passed through the gate."

She ignored him and boasted, more absorbed in this good joke she just thought of. "Well, I mean, I was thinking I'd arm wrestle you."

"You want to _arm wrestle me for your soul?"_

"I think I could win," she said after eyeing Kravitz over. She held her bicep and passed her tongue over her top lip. Cocky. Wow, yes, this person definitely reminded him of Magnus. "You don't even have muscles. All bone."

"Mrs. Waxman," Kravitz started, and couldn't hide the amusement in his voice. She cut him off with a firm shake of the head.

"That was my maiden name. Did you not get the update?" The woman crossed her arms as a punctuation, all matter-of-fact. "It's Burnsides."

"Bu--" Kravitz' thoughts clouded over and screamed all at the same time. "Burnsides?"

"Julia Burnsides." The woman--Julia, Kravitz told himself, Julia _Burnsides--_ squared her shoulders and her eyes brightened up in pride. "It fits, doesn't it?"

Barry and Kravitz looked at each other. "Do you know a guy named Magnus Burnsides?" Barry asked, careful and cautious and afraid.

"That's my husband," Julia said. Her words were blunt, but it felt like she stabbed Kravitz in the stomach with how sharp the surprise took him.

"Your _husband?"_

"Yep! We actually just got married three months ago."

Kravitz looked Julia over and rearranged everything he knew about her in the span of a moment. Of course. _Of course_ this was Magnus' wife, she was exactly his type and Kravitz could just _see_ the two of them together. Magnus stayed single for the whole Starblaster ride, but he was always the one talking about soulmates and gawking at the strongest people he saw and saying that he'd want to be able to lift his future partner over his shoulders to woo them. He could see Magnus fulfilling all of that with Julia, could see how both those pieces fit together, and that was the end for Kravitz.

"Oh, my Lady, Barry, I can't kill Magnus' _wife,"_ he said, head buried in his hands.

"You know Magnus?" That got Julia to stop being so aggressive. She moved forward and watched Barry and Kravitz carefully, concerned and fearful. "He's not dead too, is he?"

"No, the last I checked he was alive..." Barry shook his head and summoned a tome to double check. Kravitz held his breath until Barry answered. "His soul didn't come in, no."

"Do you know where he was when you died?" Kravitz asked. It wouldn't do them any good to lose their tabs on the rest of their family.

"He was on his way to a showcase, he wasn't even in town." Julia moved to a table and sat down, the most cordial she'd been since this whole thing started. "I can tell you where he was headed, if that helps."

Kravitz summoned a map of the area out of thin air and let it lay on the table. "It would. We need to wrap this up and--"

Julia furrowed her brow and reached for one of the axes on the wall. "Are you going to just leave me here?"

"We can't take you back to the Material plane." Kravitz flicked his hand and the axe disappeared from Julia's hand (right, he probably should have done that earlier). "This is a tragedy, but...the best I can do is put you in a holding spot until Magnus dies, which I hope isn't very soon."

Barry watched Julia with sympathetic eyes. "You think we can...let them both stay there a little bit after Magnus goes, too?" 

"I'll have to see what we can arrange, bu--" Kravitz stood up stock straight. The Raven Queen requested his presence immediately and urgently. "Oh, excuse me, my Queen is calling me, Barry--" Kravitz grabbed for his scythe and watched Julia. He had a lot more questions for her, and couldn't let her loose yet. "Um. I guess just--just keep her company?"

Kravitz appeared in the Raven Queen's court. When she directly asked for him, he didn't bother with the formalities of opening the giant gilded door into her court and all of that goofy fanfare. If this was a time sensitive issue, she wouldn't want stiff business practices to be the cause of a failure. Kravitz did, however, question the urgency of the whole affair when he saw Istus next to his goddess' side. Istus constantly fluctuated through ages, with no consecutive order. She would be an old woman, and then a young adult, and then a middle aged woman, and then every age in between with no visible pattern. Both goddesses turned their heads to Kravitz as he stepped in.

"Kravitz, I wanted to catch you before you did anything with that soul you're interrogating," the Raven Queen said, voice tight. "You're not sending her into the Sea, are you?"

"No, my Lady, she requested to be put into holding until her husband passes."

"Well, I'm afraid I'm going to have to deny that request." She summoned a book out of thin air, one exactly the same as the one Kravitz and Barry used in the field, but larger. She took out a quill and wrote something in the margins. "She's under Istus' protection, I've been told we can't allow her soul to merge with the collective."

"Alright." Kravitz was barely able to mask the relief he felt that he wouldn't have to separate Magnus and his wife. He looked to Istus. "What should we do with her, exactly?"

The Raven Queen signed off something in the book and shut it. "I've left you a note of the exact details, but she will be taking on the same position as you and Barry. You should train her the same as you did for him."

Kravitz took out his version of the book and skimmed the notes she wrote inside. She was right, it was the same as Barry's deal, without all the scary lich parts. He watched both the goddesses, still unsure. "I'm happy to train Julia, but may I ask what brought this on? Is she one of your followers?"

"Magnus is one of my champions," Istus explained, and then laughed, "or, at least, he will be at some point in the future. Soon."

"Please don't take this as a slight, but what does that have to do with Julia?"

"Considering they are wed and I find it unfair to separate a joined couple when one of them works for me, and that _your_ goddess is still complaining about the lack of people in your position, I felt it would benefit both of us to keep her on staff." Istus' form shifted to that of a woman in her early 30s and she smiled wide enough for Kravitz to see where her wrinkles would form if she were older. "It gives you another person on the payroll and it gives Julia more time with her husband."

"I swear it's alright, Kravitz, I can see you about to ask if I approve." The Raven Queen leaned forward in her seat and stage-whispered out to Kravitz. "You know I'm not going to say no to her, don't you?"

"Of course not." Kravitz didn't even bother to hold in his smile. And then he didn't hold back the completely baffled look two seconds later. "I'm still confused, though, you've taken Magnus as an emissary?"

"Not only Magnus, but Taako and Merle as well." Istus' knitting needles clacked together with the mention of each name, sharp and full of force. "Not at this very moment. In the future."

The rest of her words went in one of Kravitz' ear and out the other at the first mention of his fiancé. "Taako?"

"You're so transparent," the Raven Queen said, chin in her hands as she slowly shook her head.

"Yes, Taako. I don't know why you feel the need to drop your jaw, I've had my sights on the three of them farther back then this version of myself can acknowledge." Istus put her needles down and gathered her hands in her lap, smiling sweetly down at him. "It's why you're here, after all."

Kravitz short circuited. He had his theories about why he was _here--_ in this plane, and the hundred and thirteen before it--but he'd never gotten confirmation. He'd never _asked_ for confirmation. Kravitz tried to connect the dots to figure out what the fuck Istus meant, but he couldn't even think of his own name for a moment.

_"What?"_

"Of course, I can only speculate, considering that was a separate Istus. But we're generally on the same wavelength. I believe I must have had my eyes on them to have these motions put into place. Again, speculation, but I don't see why else I would preserve their forms other than to allow them the chance to restore the planes." Istus reached over to lace her fingers with the Raven Queen's (or, what Kravitz had to assume were finger-like appendages--she wasn't a solid form most of the time). "Call me a romantic, but I think it's only fair to allow my champions a considerable amount of time with their partners, so I have no problems supporting that. Knowing you would end up with Taako, it would be best to pluck you out of your own reality before you were swallowed by some horrible entity."

The Raven Queen manifested a chair behind him. Kravitz took the seat, knowing he'd been wavering on his feet through the whole explanation. "My Lady, may I have the ability to process alcohol in this form? I feel like I need a drink."

Istus barely acknowledged Kravitz' discomfort and kept going. "Although, I couldn't get a read on Merle, since he wants to fuck everything within ten feet of him. So I left the responsibility of his happiness to Pan."

_"Please,"_ Kravitz insisted, pleading eyes on his goddess.

"I might have to take a drink as well." The Raven Queen let out a noise that could only be generously described as a gag. "But later. Please go and prepare Julia for me so we can get started."

"Thank you, My Lady." Kravitz summoned his scythe, but took one more look at both of the goddesses before he cut a portal out of the hall. He hesitated, as some people do when they have a question to ask of a goddess, and even though Kravitz worked with the Raven Queen on a daily basis, he still felt the need to take pause. "May I ask one more question of Istus?"

"Yes." Istus held out a hand in front of her before Kravitz could breathe out his query. She smiled and pointed to him. "And that was your question."

All he did was stand there with a sour look on his face.

"Bazinga," she said, in the softest and least obnoxious tone such a word could be used in, "no, it's alright, go ahead."

Truthfully, he had a million questions. He figured she wouldn't answer if she knew where Taako was currently (he could _hear_ her say something about how fate wouldn't allow him to know that). But maybe he could get an answer about the past. "Was there any reason you instructed that my memory only be revived for ten minutes out of a year?"

"Because your feet are so cold, I don't believe you would have dated another man if you kept the memory of the one that you had before." Istus smiled as Kravitz' face burned. He wasn't called out like that too often, and hated the feeling. "And your fiancé is so flighty that he wouldn't have understood you would stay unless you kept coming back again and again."

It was difficult to pick out specific features of the Raven Queen, but Kravitz got the impression she rolled her eyes. "Pick your jaw back off the ground, Kravitz, she's joking."

"I _sincerely_ hope so," he said, and did not _scowl_ at the other goddess, but it was a close thing.

"If you want a real answer, it is that interplanar travel is tricky," Istus said, calm and not wavered by Kravitz' gaze, "and your situation was a harrowing one. It was less emotional toll on you to have the memory wipe, at least in the beginning. And I was afraid you'd be too stubborn to leave if you didn't remember the Hunger."

"Oh."

"I apologize for any confusion it caused." Istus turned back to an old woman as she spoke, her voice moving higher and weaker. "It was a situation that had no precedent. There were probably more efficient ways to do it, but it was an emergency."

"No, it's alright, it's just--" Kravitz offered a weak smile and shrugged his shoulders. "I'm just glad to be here.

"I am also glad you are here." The Raven Queen's eye turned sharp. She wasn't a cruel employer, but when it was time for work, she didn't like to see time wasted. "But I would rather you would be away training Julia."

"Of course, I'm sorry." Kravitz bowed to his goddess on his way out. "I will bring her here later so you can meet."

"Please do."

Kravitz summoned a portal back to the room with Barry and Julia. He very rarely got to deliver good news, and couldn't wipe the smile off his face as he approached the two of them to strike a deal with Julia Burnsides.

He did, however, frown once he realized how hard it would be to teach Julia how to respect the authority of the Raven Queen.

* * *

Julia took to the job like a fish to water.

She started off with the easy projects. Things that could be done in an afternoon or two. Paperwork that was just tedious and not hard. Kravitz went ahead and brought Barry up on some more difficult missions when he got her started on those. He earned his keep, and not a lot of easy missions passed by Kravitz' desk. He had to keep them both busy. That was simple enough in the beginning years, but as the two of them grew accustomed to the job, the baby projects didn't cut it any longer.

It wasn't until a particularly sour case that Kravitz fussed over for a month that the Raven Queen suggested that he take the other two on as support. After that, the two were his equals in workload, just inexperienced. They took on smaller jobs alone and all went on bigger jobs together. Kravitz always worked alone, but this was way better. He had someone to banter to during work and people to have fun with on his off hours. The off hours they spent not looking for the rest of their friends, at least.

Julia was a good friend, too. Kravitz spent a hundred years with the same seven friends, and he was out of practice making a new one. But Julia made it easy. She told grand stories about the Raven's Roost rebellion and Kravitz filled her in on the hundred year journey. He expected her to hang off of every word he spoke about Magnus, but whenever he spoke about his adventures she'd laugh at his dumb mistakes and swear to chew him out later. She was a woodcarver too, chastised Kravitz about the type of furniture he'd materialize in their shared space and would whittle to settle her nerves. Kravitz didn't have much in common with her, but she was an interesting figure and they both delighted in the strange cultural exchanges they could participate in. The one thing both of them shared was a tendency to get hotheaded, and the rare times the two did fight, Barry had to leave the room to let them both fizzle out.

She spent her off time looking for Magnus, but without a good read on his soul signature, they were out of luck. It was easy to keep tabs on Magnus when he stayed in the same place, but his reason to stay in Raven's Roost died with the woodworker's pillar. She checked other craftsman's villages, checked bars that had lots of scuffles, places with lots of dogs, and turned up with nothing every time. They filled her in on what the rest of the crew looked like so she could keep an extra eye out for them, but never saw anyone.

Barry and Kravitz still searched for Lup, but that wasn't easy when the Phoenix Fire Gauntlet seemed to disappear out of circulation. Everyone looked at them funny when they mentioned it by name, and stopped trying to ask about it specifically. They found ways to dodge around the words to get the answers they needed. But nothing they got were the answers they wanted. There was no easy route to Lup, there wasn't a sign that told them where Lucretia and Davenport ran off to, no friendly merchant to point them off in the direction of Magnus.

Kravitz kept a tight eye on the Sizzle it Up! travel schedule. Couldn't bear to lose Taako, too. He saw the shows when he could, which wasn't very often. Had to stay in the back row to avoid the sting, since he never took that damn ring off. Taako became a better performer and magician through the show. Slowly regained his magic and incorporated it into his work. He was more comfortable with his position after it turned into a steady career, which settled Kravitz' nerves. He was fine being apart from Taako as long as he was safe. The show was pretty good, too, especially with that assistant.

Over the years, the kid got more confident with their place in the show. Tried out catchphrases and little flairs. The little outbursts got under Taako's skin, but never at the detriment of the performance. Kravitz only noticed because he knew Taako, could read the tiny ear flicks and the half second side eyes. It normally took Taako a long time to get acclimated to new people anyway, so he didn't think much of it. He just hoped he wasn't being an ass off the stage. Kravitz knew he could go over and ask the kid (what was their name? Susan?) how Taako was, but that might come off as suspicious. Even if it didn't, they might bring Taako over, and then Kravitz would have to run before he got burned by the ring's aura. It was safer to watch from a distance.

Once, when Kravitz visited a tiny little town that was _supposed_ to be the next stop on the route, the caravan was gone. Not anywhere in town. The citizens didn't know where the entertainment was either, he never entered. Kravitz spent the rest of the day going backwards down the route. Sure, he hadn't seen a show in a few months, but if he went back far enough he should have been able to find Taako, right?

Wrong.

Taako must have changed his route. Every town Kravitz visited claimed that a show never came their way. When he hit a town that _had_ seen Taako, they claimed that he hadn't performed there in eight months. He probably took a wrong turn or decided to change the route. Kravitz would have to start from square one.

But then, after a year of searching, Kravitz couldn't find the show again. Rumors went around that it was done for good, although Kravitz could never get an accurate account. Stories about a murder, or food poisoning, or stealing gold--most of them were rumors, he knew, but it twisted up Kravitz' heart to think that any sort of harm came to Taako or his show. He really seemed to work hard on that one. Kravitz could see the care he put into it.

So they lost tabs on Magnus, Lup, _and_ Taako (not even counting how they lost tabs on Lucretia and Davenport since day one).

Out of panic, Kravitz and Barry went to Bottlenose Cove to check up on Merle.

They couldn't find him, either. He ran out on his wife and kids.

Kravitz couldn't hold his temper in. Barry looked two seconds away from popping but forced himself together to calm Kravitz down. They both returned to the Astral Plane, seething and enraged. Not at their friends. Never at their friends. At the shitty situation they all found themselves in. Nobody deserved any of this.

They were right back where they started, no idea of where any of their friends and family ran off to. They needed to find them, of course, but they came to the realization that they needed to find _Fisher_ first. If they could find Fisher, they might be able to restore the crew's memories and they'd know to take the wards off. They could figure out why all this happened later, they could keep tabs on their family if they happened to stumble upon them during their search for Fisher, but they needed to shift their priorities.

But there weren't any signs of Fisher.

When they described what Fisher looked like to passerby, they stared wide-eyed the same way villagers did when they asked about the relics. That didn't make any sense. It was possible for Fisher to accidentally eat some of Lucretia's journals and erase memories, but they had no clue how Fisher could get their tendrils on a detailed description of them. Sure, they could have eaten one of the journals that Lucretia wrote that had descriptions of voidfish inside, but Fisher couldn't have eaten a whole year without erasing things that they _were_ able to speak of to the general public. Kravitz wondered if someone fed Fisher information about their own appearance and powers. Barry wondered if it was an outside attack.

Julia was the one that suggested that someone purposefully edited the journals.

Maybe they took Lucretia. She was immune to Fisher's memory wipe--they'd seen that one night at dinner when Barry and her could sing songs from the conservatory that the rest had forgotten. She was the only one that could have edited the journals, but nobody could come up with a reason why she would do that herself. There was no way she'd put the rest of the crew in danger like that. Lucretia _did_ act weird before all of this went down, maybe she was under some sort of ransom? Perhaps a necromancer wanted access to their wards and had to string along this elaborate plan to stay anonymous? Whatever the reason or the means, Lucretia was possibly in danger.

It was a leap, but it was also a lead, so Kravitz and Barry followed it. They didn't have time to be careful any longer. Couldn't let anything slip through their fingers. They followed suspicious activity where they found it and tried to pinpoint where this mystery necromancer could be hiding. They found jack shit, but kept looking for clues in their off time. They couldn't let this pass by.

And then the Phoenix Fire Gauntlet destroyed Phandolin.

Barry and Kravitz rushed to the scene as soon they caught wind of the news, which was a couple of hours after the explosion. It was hard for three agents of death to ignore hundreds of deaths that file in at the same time, even if the town was small and relatively unknown. Julia swore she could take the souls on her own, that the other two should try and get to Lup before the trail went cold again.

All they could find was another circle of solid black glass.

But the more they searched, the stranger it was. Usually with these glassings, they could find the gauntlet at the epicenter. They found a pile of ashes where the user would normally be, but no gauntlet. Barry looked up towards the sky after a frustrated huff and saw an orb flying out of the planet's orbit. Kravitz tried to focus on it, and he could feel that there _may_ have been souls in the orb, but it was coated all around with the same wards that separated him and his family.

If a necromancer got a hold of _anyone_ on the ship and harmed them to try and figure out the wards--

"Do you think Lup was here?" Barry asked, pulled Kravitz out of another panic spiral.

"She must have been, the gauntlet is gone." Kravitz pointed out past the glass edge of where Phandolin used to be. "Either that, or someone else took it to use it, but I only see one charred path to the glass."

"So whoever left with the gauntlet didn't use it." Barry walked to the middle of the square, where there was one single well. He leaned on the edge, face twisted up in thought. "It would have to be Lup. Any normal person would get taken in by the thrall, and I don't know any reason why the rest of the crew would be in Phandolin."

"Unless they just stumbled upon it." Kravitz paced out of nerves, feet clacking against the glass with every step. "Lup wouldn't remember why she's going for the gauntlet, either."

"What if she's dead?" he asked, the only time it would ever be appropriate for a man to be excited for his wife's death.

"We would have seen signs of lich energy, warded or not." Kravitz moved to Barry, apologetic and comforting in a way that they both had to learn to be for each other. "And if she was a lich, don't you think she would have come looking for us? She would have noticed that there's something weird going on with Fisher."

"You're right, uh." Barry slumped his shoulders and watched his reflection in the glass. "Wishful thinking."

"Trust me, if I had a good reason why Taako would be in Phandolin, I'd be trying to find him, too. But we don't know who took the gauntlet."

"We don't." Barry let out a breath, resigned to the fact that Lup wasn't here, that she never was here. He picked himself back up and walked away, faking confidence. "It was probably someone who didn't succumb to the thrall yet."

"Most likely, but we'll keep an eye out around Phandolin to confirm that." Kravitz followed after him, and summoned his scythe. "We should get back. There's nothing here."

Kravitz helped Barry back into the Astral plane. They had a huge influx of souls from the Phandolin glassing, and Kravitz' coworkers were smart enough to know not to touch any cases related to the relics. He always wanted his hands on this, or have Barry and Julia's hands on it, on the off chance he'd find any information about his missing friends. Julia already had most of the souls processed and questioned by the time Barry and Kravitz got there, but she ran up to them as soon as they were in her sight.

"Hey, one of these souls said something weird," she said, not even bothering to greet them. "The one that used the gauntlet, I think."

Barry and Kravitz shared a look. "Like what?" Barry asked.

"Well, first he was going on about killing a bunch of orcs." Julia frowned and rolled her eyes. Kravitz was ready to write off the investigation entirely, no sympathy for some dumbass that used a relic to kill people based on his backwards beliefs. That didn't seem to be the end of it, though. "But then he talked about a bunch of idiot travelers he hired? And some orc lady that was speaking static?"

The three of them shared another look. "We should interrogate him," Kravitz said.

This time, they manifested in a place that looked like a mining break room. A small, grody looking dwarf sat at a folding table made for dwarves. Barry, Julia, and Kravitz had to squat down to sit with him.

"Oh _god,"_ the dwarf said when the three of them filed in and sat down. His head lolled backwards in annoyance. "More? C'mon, I'm already dead, do you really gotta expose me to more small talk?"

Kravitz spoke softly. He didn't know anything about this person's composure, and figured it would be safe to be as sympathetic as possible. "We just want to know about the situation that brought you here."

_"Brought me here,"_   the dwarf said, dismissive, "could just say it killed me."

Great, so he was one of _those_ kinds of souls. Kravitz could deal with that. 

"So, Mister Gundren--" Kravitz looked at the guy's name in his book. He saw this name a few times. That was the clan Merle got placed into. "Rockseeker."

"Lots of people in the Rockseeker clan," Barry whispered. Kravitz wasn't about to get his hopes up like that.

"Right. Gundren, I'm going to need you to tell me what happened with that gauntlet." Kravitz didn't offer him a choice. They needed this information, Gundren looked stubborn, so he figured it'd be best to cut to the chase.

"Well, there was that glove in my dad's treasure vault, and it was mine, so I took it." Gundren folded his arms, stating it all matter-of-fact like it wasn't the thing that killed him. "Was more hoping for a shitload of gold, but I took care of a few orcs with it."

"Can you chill the fuck out on that?" Julia asked, her fist hitting the table hard enough to leave a scratch where her ring hit the wood.

Gundren looked her over. "What, are _you_ an orc?"

"Not really any of your business." Usually, that would be where Julia would crack a smile and say _I'm everything,_ but she didn't look to be in the mood to play.

"That's not what we're here about." Barry cut through the bullshit and brought out his notebook. He always kept one in his pocket in case they got information about their friends. "You said there was an orc woman that spoke static?"

"Yeah, wasn't too sure what the fuck that was about, since that gauntlet was _mine._   I inherited it, she had no fucking business telling me not to touch it." Gundren rambled about birthrights and all that jazz, but Kravitz couldn't roll his eyes harder at that. Him and Barry had more stake in the gauntlet, technically, if marriages counted when calculating birthrights. Not that Kravitz would ever want to use it, but Gundren's whole spiel was ridiculous. "Could barely hear my own thoughts between her static talk and the dumbass goobers that I hired."

Barry scribbled down Gundren's brief description of the orc and turned the page. "You hired some people?"

"To take some shit to Phandolin, yeah. I rode ahead of 'em to make sure they did the job right." His face turned sour. "But 'cause I didn't hire a guard or anything, I got jumped and captured. Should have gotten a guard. Maybe like you, you look burly enough."

"I'm a wizard," Barry said, barely looking up from his notes.

"I'd be a better guard," Julia insisted.

"Not you," he said, and eyed Julia in a way that she _hated._ Kravitz wondered if she'd punch him if they ran into Gundren while he was still alive. Kravitz might have punched him, from the way he spoke. "Anyway, they were idiots."

"Why did you hire them, then?" Kravitz asked, desperate to get the subject back on track.

"Easy help? Balanced party? There were only three of them, but they beat up the other team of three in the bar so I gave 'em the position." Gundren watched the other three at the table and saw their expectant stares. Kravitz wanted descriptions, and he assumed Gundren knew that. He didn't stay silent for too long, and broke after Julia looked at him funny. "Uh, one of 'em was my cousin."

"Dwarves have, like, a million cousins, don't be racist," Barry quietly reminded the other two before they could get carried away.

Gundren carried on without any notice to the way the three stiffened. "There was a big human with, like, the worst beard in existence, and there was this, uh, weird elf with an umbrella."

All the muscles in Barry and Kravitz' bodies tensed at once.

No, _nope,_ Kravitz had to calm down. There was no evidence that Lup was there. There was even less evidence that Taako was there. Still, just from a quick description, Kravitz couldn't think of anyone else. He hadn't seen Taako in a few years and was sensitive to anything that could point to him, even offhandedly. Sure, it didn't make sense why Taako would have an umbrella, but Kravitz' mind wasn't being entirely logical at the moment. Barry had more of a reason to perk up. Or maybe he didn't--Kravitz cared about Lup as much as he cared for everyone else on the ship. She was his sister as much as Taako was Barry's brother.

Julia looked to the two of them and knew immediately what they thought of. She filled in the blanks, not as struck as the other two were. "Was this elf a woman?"

"Like, it wasn't super clear? Nobody had name tags or anything." Gundren shrunk from the gazes from Barry and Kravitz, suddenly unsure. "I don't know, what do you want me to say? The elf made a couple'a dick jokes and the orc called them _boys,_ so, does that answer anything?"

"Does it?" Julia asked, eyes turned to Barry and Kravitz.

Barry slumped in his chair. "Doesn't sound like Lup, other than the umbrella."

Kravitz shook his head. "I can't think of why Taako would be out in a cave instead of in a restaurant."

"Do either of those names ring a bell?" Julia asked Gundren. She didn't leave any room for Gundren to argue or say anything more than he needed.

"Not really? I wasn't paying attention."

"Figures." Julia stood from the little table and looked down at Kravitz. "That's probably all we're going to get out of him, isn't it?" 

"I hate to say it, but yeah," Barry agreed.

For the first time since the three of them walked into the room, Gundren looked afraid. "What're you gonna do with me?"

"You're just going to the Sea, it's no big deal." Julia waved Gundren off and ignored him. She turned her attention to the other two, sympathetic. "I'll take care of him. You two need a rest?"

Barry stood and summoned his scythe, restless. "I need to go check the glass again."

"You need a break." Her sympathy turned into a command as she glared down at Barry. "We've talked to this guy, there's no leads there."

"Julia's right," Kravitz said, "even if I don't like to admit it. I wish that was Lup too, Barry, but it doesn't seem like she was there."

"What if the trail goes cold again?" he asked, hands skittering nervously against the scythe's handle.

"The trail's already gone cold. If it was hot, we would have found who has the gauntlet." Kravitz waved Julia and led Barry out of the room gently. Julia waved back and started work on getting Gundren into the sea. Kravitz took Barry back to their room and spoke to him quietly the whole way there. "We'll keep an eye out on all the surrounding towns. See if the gauntlet shows up again. If it does, we can talk to whoever used it. If it was Lup, she'll know us and we'll have another bounty hunter. If it's not Lup, then that's just another tragedy."

"You're right." Barry took off his glasses and wiped at his eyes, exhausted and weepy all at the same time. "I hate that you're right, but you are."

"How about we go out and find something nice to eat and bring it back to share with Julia?" They didn't need to eat, but getting something in their stomachs often made them feel just a little bit better about their shitty situations. Something about sharing a meal together did good things.

"Yeah." Barry settled his glasses back on his face. "Yeah."

* * *

More relics disappeared after that. 

There weren't anymore glassings. Wherever the Phoenix Fire Gauntlet went, it wasn't used. If it changed hands, the person who took it must have been extremely willful not to sear another glass scar into the planet's crust. Barry swore it was Lup, but they didn't have enough evidence. The dwarf seemed disorientated and didn't get the greatest look. They had no clue of the people she traveled with either, so who knew if it was her? That dwarf might not have told the truth in the first place.

Kravitz noticed the Oculus hadn't caused any issues in a long time. That one didn't pop up as often, but he thought it was due for another catastrophe. The cravability made it so that the relics got used on a semi-regular basis, even if the world didn't remember them. They were legends, not household names, but for some it was even more exciting to seek out a powerful object with no name. But it had been too long since the Oculus' last disaster. Kravitz wondered when he'd see another.

And after he thought of it, he hadn't seen any traces of Lucretia's Bulwark staff in years. Where did the relics go? It was more unsettling that he hadn't seen new tragedies. Magnus' relic never showed up, and Kravitz had no way of knowing if that one disappeared either.

He heard of one last usage of the Gaia Sash, in Goldcliff. Vines ate a bank and then turned two battlewagon racers into a tree. Some rumors of three travelers that assisted one of the racers to try and remove the sash sprang up. Barry swore again and again that one of them was Lup, judging from the descriptions. Kravitz would fight him on that, but he knew it couldn't be Taako. He wouldn't willingly put himself in danger like that over something he didn't understand out of the goodness of his heart. It still didn't explain why Lup traveled with two strangers, or why they had weird bracers on their arms, why they were out collecting relics.

The fact that she collected relics was mostly an assumption on Kravitz' part. He really didn't have evidence that they touched the Bulwark staff or the Oculus.

"Do you think the Light's getting weaker?" Kravitz asked out of nowhere once, as they were cleaning up some necromancer's keep. It was a dull, boring job that required them to file away and study each piece they found so that they could identify it in other keeps. They could probably have taken a break, since it was Candlenights, but all of them had lost track of time and hadn't prepared for the holiday. They all agreed to celebrate later. They didn't feel the need to be completely on time with Candlenights, since they didn't have other family to celebrate with. 

"I don't think that's possible, but I'd have to get the Light in my hands to test it out for sure."  Barry ran his hands along a necromancer's body reduplication machine, thinking through how he wanted to dismantle it. "Maybe it's been fed enough."

Kravitz blinked and nodded his head, until he realized he had no idea what the fuck Barry meant. "Fed? Like the Hunger?"

"It needs to be craved," Barry explained, with a big smug grin on his face. "That's why we did this in the first place. Julia, help me out here?" he asked, head nudging towards the machine.

"Sorry, I don't really get it." Kravitz stepped out of the way to allow Julia access to the scene.

"I don't either," Julia admitted. She kicked through the glass of the reduplication machine and a viscous goo seeped out of the hole. She shook her leg in the air to try and get it off, but it stuck to her boot. "Also: gross."

"Yeah, but you weren't there. Kravitz just wasn't _paying attention."_ Barry knelt down to touch the goo. "Also: not gross. Science."

"I was!" Kravitz frowned, but when he met Julia and Barry's eyes, all he saw was snark, disbelief, and Julia's form flickering for just a moment to expel the goo from her leg.

"You made googly eyes at Taako during every meeting," he said, and then went back to work.

Kravitz moved towards the machine to aid Barry. _"You_ made googly eyes at Lup during every possible interaction with her!"

"I toned it down when we started dating."

He rolled his eyes and knelt down to inspect the goo. He figured he should collect a sample to have Barry analyze it later. "If getting caught by your brother more than a dozen times _toning it down,_ then I'm glad I wasn't all the way there for the times before."

"Taako told you about that?" Barry asked, and then did a double take once the words settled more firmly into his mind. "It happened _again?"_

Julia grinned. "Caught doing what?"

"Oh, you can fill in the blanks," Kravitz said, and Julia high-fived him.

Barry grabbed onto Kravitz' shoulder, desperate. "How many times is _more than a dozen?"_   he asked, but it was drowned out behind Julia's howling laughter and the tugging sensation at the back of Kravitz' mind signaling another job.

"Ah, hang on, we've got another job." Kravitz summoned his tome and let the pages fly in front of him to show their next target.

"Is it any more exciting than this?" Julia asked, and kicked at some rubble on the ground.

Kravitz read through the basic information of the case. It seemed simple enough, although there would be a lot of ghosts and some relic shenanigans. Kravitz sighed and closed the book, forced it out of existence once he got the gist of the whole situation. He stood up. "There's some bozo necromancer in a floating lab using Taako's relic." 

"On Candlenights?" Barry didn't move from his work.

"That _could_ be cool." Julia stood up with Kravitz. "You need help?"

"We can't just leave this here," Barry insisted. Kravitz would have made a quip about how this was exactly the sort of thing that got Barry into his position, but that turned out really well. Besides, his knowledge of necromancy made their jobs easier on every level. It wasn't a bad idea to let him keep practicing if it could get them intel.

"I think I'd be able to go at it alone, but I just have this gut feeling that I shouldn't." Kravitz looked around the keep. Lots of hazardous material still crept all over, they hadn't processed it all. None of it was in immediate danger of exploding or turning some innocent bystander into a lich, though, it was safe for the time being. "You can stay if you want, but we can put a seal on this place and come back to it later, it isn't urgent."

"Okay, I guess I can." Barry dropped his goo samples and reformed his body to get the sticky substance off his hands. "You coming, Julia?"

"It's this or the goo." Julia summoned her reaper's cowl and grinned wide. "I'm itching for a little action."

"Alright, come on." Kravitz cut a portal to their destination and the three of them hopped through to work on their next job.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hey! this is getting posted the day after my birthday. wow. this time last year, i had just admitted to myself that i was bi, i was unemployed, and i had an intense feeling of dread that i couldn't put a name on! now, i'm a chaotic bi, i have a great job, and i've realized that wasn't a feeling of dread, but gender dysphoria. whoops! hey, it's fun to discover all this stuff when i'm an adult and not back when i was a kid, when anytime i'd do anything that made me feel comfortable my mom would accuse me of being a lesbian. (lesbians are great! but that's not what i am and she used it as if it was an insult!) also i was technically born in autumn even though it's the middle of december, so that's fun. anyway. i'm doing good and even though i'm not where i thought i'd be at 24, i think this is a whole lot better.
> 
> (oh just a note, i don't subscribe to the idea that taako dated sazed, it seemed more to me like a failed mentor/apprentice relationship that went sour both because taako was an asshole and because sazed decided the best way to remedy that would be murder? they're both in the wrong here, although even if taako wasn't an ass sazed might have done something terrible because, y'know, most people don't go from no murder to ALL MURDER in a couple years. just putting this out here so nobody thinks i'm shipping a kid and a mentor! that would suck!)
> 
> anyway. next time. crystal kingdom? crystal kingdom.


	23. In Faerun, As Enemies

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Kravitz, Julia, and Barry go on a mission.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> good morning, welcome to 19k words of me without any self control
> 
> cw uhhhh a little bit of nsfw talk after they're in the dorm talking about the voidfish, but it's nothing they wouldn't say on the show!

The lab was beautiful, and it was also terrifying.

Covered in pink tourmaline. The crystals branched out from each other and crawled over every surface like ice on glass. It crinkled as it grew, there were voices coming from the crystals, and everything the crystal touched was doomed. This was definitely a sign of Taako's relic. Kravitz hadn't ever seen these tragedies in motion, only the aftermath, but this soured his stomach in a way that an undead man shouldn't suffer from. Wards were placed everywhere, so none of them could pinpoint their bounty's exact location, so they had to go through the whole lab proper.The lab itself must have been a sight to see when it wasn't getting vored by pink crystals. All the science was...science. Honestly, Kravitz wasn't sure what all the equipment and the doodads did, but Barry seemed impressed by it so he assumed it was pretty advanced. It looked like technology they would have found on the Starblaster, which.

Hm.

Necromancer with advanced technology and tight wards? Kravitz wondered if this sick freak had Lucretia or Fisher locked up somewhere. He'd keep an eye out. Kravitz wasn't expecting anything, and forced himself not to hope, but it was suspicious.

Barry touched one of the crystals for science. As soon as it touched his flesh, the material crawled up his arm and threatened to turn his whole body to stone. It was a good thing he wasn't alive, or else Julia would have chopped his arm off. She still wanted to. But it was easy for Barry to revert to a soul and then reappear with his normal arm, even though he grumbled and wanted to see how far the crystal could go before he was forced into soul form.

Kravitz decided it would be best to possess hunks of crystal and hop through the lab. That way, they wouldn't need to continually reform if they accidentally touched a rock. Julia and Barry followed along, their souls adding light to every crystal they touched. The necromancer in this base must have had some pretty thick wards on their soul, since Kravitz couldn't teleport directly to them. Forced to search through this lab and see if anything popped up.

And, _oh,_ did something pop up.

They decided to take a rest in a wide, open space. There were a few weird giant tardigrades in the previous room, but the three of them took care of those rather quickly by using crystals as bombs. It did kind of destroy that room's chance of surviving the crystallization, but the whole lab seemed like it was in poor shape anyway. This new space was some sort of lobby, clean (and thanks to a few accidents with crystal bombs from Barry) starting to crystal over. There were three airlocks, and the maps on the walls seemed to show that they all led near the med bay. Two of the airlocks were fine, but one had a whole lot of ice over the door with sounds of chopping and talking from the other end. Kravitz knew they'd have to check that out soon, but they all earned a rest. This place seemed safe enough, they needed to regroup.

Julia reformed her body, and so did the other two. It was natural to stay in their soul forms, it didn't harm them, but it didn't facilitate easy conversation. They floated just above the crystal floor and had a nice chat. At least, until they were interrupted. All three of them felt a searing pain as the doors from the tardigrade room opened. It was enough to revert the three of them to their soul forms. They all scurried to the back of the room, out of the range of whatever the _fuck_ burned them.

Magnus rushed in first. Even though they were only souls, Kravitz could feel Julia's shock next to him. He was older-- _gods,_ he was older. Kravitz got so used to seeing this reckless kid in his twenties that he didn't realize that Magnus would grow out of that. He was in his thirties but still had that restless energy buzzing around him. Julia popped and fizzled, and Kravitz felt like he would get pulled apart just from the sight of an old friend.

Merle wasn't too far behind, and _man_ did he look bad. In another one of those red spacesuits (why did they have to be red?) and carrying a...teen Bible? He looked sour and not at all like himself. Only recognizable in the face. Being a dwarf, there weren't any noticeable changes in his age, but his attitude was so different Kravitz couldn't believe it. Still looked as horny as ever, though. Some things never change.

And, then.

Taako.

_Taako._

He hadn't seen him in so long, he lost his show route a while back. Kravitz wanted to rush over and see him. He didn't even have to do anything, he just wanted a conversation. Any conversation. Wanted to know how he was, if he was okay, if he remembered, where he's been. But Kravitz couldn't get close. He couldn't see under the suit, but he assumed Taako had his ring on. It was sweet, that he kept it close even though he had no idea what it meant, but it was also frustrating that Kravitz couldn't even _touch_ him.

He wore the same spacesuit as the other two, with his hat crammed inside. He looked better than Kravitz had seen him in a while. More well rested, a little less unsure of himself. The light from the crystals bounced off of his helmet and illuminated his face, and he was beautiful, and _fuck,_ Kravitz loved him. He stared, an urgent need to commit everything about him to memory.

Taako held Lup's umbrella.

He found her?

"Magnus!" Julia blinked and jittered beside him, still not over Magnus' entrance even though Kravitz' consciousness was glued to Taako. "What the fuck is Magnus doing here?"

"I don't know, but we should go see him, right?" Barry skittered towards of the barrier, his form flickering as he edged near the holy energy. "And the rest of them, too."

Kravitz did the soul equivalent of shaking his head, which was just this weird bobbing motion. It wasn't the best idea to just come right out and speak to them, not yet. "I'm not sure how you expect us to do that when there's a holy barrier right there--"

Before Kravitz could stop her, Julia scoot forward at the very edge and reformed her body. The three boys looked up immediately, since there wasn't anything else interesting in the room. Magnus caught eyes with Julia and staggered on his feet near the crystals. Whatever suits they wore stopped the crystals from growing onto their legs, which Kravitz was thankful for. Magnus watched Julia like she was the sun and moon all rolled up into one, with some stars mixed in for good measure.

"Julia?" Magnus asked, feet still slipping on the uneven crystal.

"Yeah, uh, it's--" Julia got as far as the barrier would let her get and wiped the corners of her eyes. She tried to keep it cool, but that was pretty difficult with her husband right there. "It's me. I got. Um. I got _got."_

"You--sure did." He stared at her dumbfounded for a few more seconds. And then he perked up, pointing all around Julia, confused. "Wait, hold on, what _is_ this? How are you h--"

"I'm, um, kind of undead? Still not sure how that works, I'm not big on magic, but." Julia started to tear up. "I've been trying to...to find you, but, where--you've been, uh, unreachable? What's up with that?"

"Oh! Oh, right, we, uh--" Magnus moved closer. Not past the edge of Taako's holy barrier, but just. Closer. He held out his arm so Julia could see. "We have these, bracers, they--they're, uh, the removable ones, I've got one that's all the way fused to my arm--you can't see them through the suit, shit--but we--" Magnus rambled and kept pointing to his forearms. Kravitz didn't see anything, just the suit. "I took mine off for Candlenights, and so did these two, and we--"

"Speaking of," Kravitz said, as he reformed. Julia already opened the can of worms, there wasn't any way this could get worse. He projected his voice as loud as he could get it, his eyes fixed on Taako. "Um, you--in the back?"

Taako's eyes flicked to Merle. "Me?"

"Yes, uh. We can't get any closer because of that ring you've got on." Kravitz took off his ring as a demonstration and dropped it into his suit pocket. He hoped Taako couldn't notice from far away that their rings matched. He didn't want to confuse him. "Could you...?"

Kravitz was stuck waving his hand in the air, voice trailed off, hoping Taako would take the hint.

"Yeah, uh, no thanks?" Taako moved farther back towards the door, obviously freaked out by this whole situation. "Like, do you _get_ how suspicious that looks? _Hey, here's my friend's dead..._ " Taako looked over to Magnus. "...Wife?"

"Yeah, Julia's my wife, uh--" Magnus coughed. "Sorry, I mean-- _MAI WAIFE,_ she's my wife, and--" 

Merle scrunched his face up. "God, do you _always_ have to go for the Borat thing?"

"--wait, do you think this is some kind of _illusion?"_ Magnus asked, head turned towards Taako.

"Dude walks up with your fuckin' wife in the middle of a murder lab and asks me to take off a ring that _apparently_ protects us from him?" He laughed, although there wasn't any humor in it. "How is that not a trap? This is the classic--the classic greatest desire illusion, c'mon. Get a little more creative."

"If you're putting up illusions of our greatest desires, can you show us Chesney?" Merle asked, blunt and barely paying attention, a spectator to the whole situation.

Kravitz scrunched his nose up in disgust. "You want to fuck _Kenneth Chesney?"_

"Who doesn't?" Merle asked with a nonchalant shrug.

"I'm in hell," Taako said, his hands over his glass helmet. "I'm in hell, and you're the one with the pitchfork."

Now that the holy barrier went backwards, Julia stepped forward. "You think I'm an illusion?"

Taako inspected her again. "It's, like, _super_ obvious you're an illusion."

"I'm not an illusion!" Julia shook her head. Figured out there was no use to fight with Taako. She shot a pleading look at her husband. "Magnus, please."

"I mean--I _want_ to go over there, but." Magnus stepped backwards, back into the barrier radiating off of Taako. "You really think that's not Julia?"

Kravitz could _see_ Julia's heart shatter.

"Why don't you ask her something only your wife'd know?" Merle suggested.

"Merle, what the fuck? When did you start getting good ideas?" Magnus shouted over at Julia, his voice boomed through the crystals. "What's my mom's name?"

"You never had one, you were raised by two men." She shook her head and smiled with a fondness that Kravitz hadn't seen out of her. Julia shrugged. "Twice the dads, twice the puns?"

"Are you--did those two dads forget to put a brain in your skull when they carved your muscles out?" Taako rushed forward and Julia had to scurry backwards to escape the burning. He hit Magnus in the shoulder. "Come _on,_ like--Death is powering this illusion. You get that, right? I'm pretty sure they just fuckin' _looked up_ who your dads were."

"I didn't! He can't even find his dads, we looked for a very long time." Julia shouted across the room, more desperate now. "And then Dad said that--"

Magnus brightened up. "I'm his apprentice, and that's basically the same thing, right?"

"He said that when you told him you had a crush on me too, didn't he?" The two both dissolved into laughter after that. Some inside joke Kravitz wasn't privy to. He wanted to rip Taako's ring off of his hand so they could actually touch. Kravitz had the idea that Taako wouldn't be as receptive to him, so that thought flew out the window.

"Would'a been nice if he was there for the wedding." Magnus stared at her wistfully for a few moments before he turned back to the other two. "Guys, I really don't think she's bluffing."

"If you want to die from some--fuckin' siren song, that's cool, but do it _after_ we get this job done, yeah?" Taako walked towards the frozen door, the holy zone shifting just enough for Kravitz to take a few more steps forward. "Gotta grab the stone, gotta--wait, were we supposed to kill that dude?"

Magnus shook his head. "Killian was supposed to, I think."

"Do you think we'll get her pay if we kill him?" Merle asked.

"No! Wait, don't go any farther in. It's very dangerous here," Kravitz said, and pointed to Taako, "you should all take cover, we'll get this done." The three of them might not have remembered Kravitz, but he wouldn't be able to live it down if any of them got injured on his watch.

"Uh, no can do, boner businessman." Taako tapped the frozen door with his umbrella, speaking to the air behind him like he didn't care about the three agents of death standing twenty feet away. "See, uh, we've--this is, sort of, our gig? We've got a paycheck at the end of this--" Some of the ice cracked and fell off the door. "Uh, _this."_

Magnus ran over to Taako. "What's up with the ice door?"

A woman's voice came from behind the door, muffled so much that Kravitz could barely hear her. "Taako? Magnus? Is that you guys?"

The (four?) of them argued at the door for a couple minutes, too quiet for Kravitz to hear at that distance. Magnus started slashing and Taako shot a couple fireballs at the door. Merle tried to cast holy magic at the door, but got frustrated and sat his ass down ten feet away. Kravitz and Julia moved to the very edge of the safe space to watch.

"What do we do? They don't know us," Julia said, her eyes fixed on Magnus, "they don't trust us."

Kravitz could see Julia in pain from Magnus' distrust of her. He knew the three of them couldn't leave them alone, that they needed to follow them through this lab. "We should try and get Taako's ring off first, so we can see them closer than twenty feet away. They seem to know where they're going, maybe they can get us to that necromancer."

"I can, uh, clear out these bombs," Barry suggested. He pointed to all of the white crystals he and Kravitz created earlier to clear out the tardigrades in the previous room. "They seem safe in those suits, but I think the bomb might puncture the fabric, we don't want anyone losing a limb."

"Yeah, start with that!" Julia smiled, allowed herself to hope.

"Julia and I can try and speak to them, then," Kravitz said. Barry nodded and started his work carefully collecting the bombs. Kravitz nudged Julia lightly. "You want to try first? At least Magnus knows who you are, that's a good start."

"I can't guarantee it'll work, but...sure." Julia projected her voice loud enough so the other two could hear. "What are you getting paid for?"

Magnus looked over his shoulder, now stiff and nervous around his dead wife. "You know, collecting these relics--"

"Oh, hush up, they won't be able to hear the krkrkrkkghtksshhhh," Merle said, imitating a static TV sound with his mouth instead of actual words.

Julia pursed her lips. "Why is he doing that?"

Magnus turned to give her his full attention. Still just as freaked out as before, unable to make direct eye contact with her. "Because when we say things like _voidfish_ or _Bureau of Balance,_ people only hear static."

"Bureau of Balance?" Kravitz repeated.

"Hey, what the fuck?" Taako's ears perked up and he eyed Kravitz with even more suspicion than before. "You can hear that?"

"Of course I can. I'm dead, Fisher doesn't work on--" Kravitz blinked, wondered what he said for the three of them to look at him with faces of horror. What did he say? "What are you all looking at me like that for?"

"You just, uh, staticked out," Taako said.

"Oh." Kravitz craned his head to address Barry and shouted over in his direction. The three of them wouldn't understand what he said anyway, there wasn't a point in keeping it secret. "Barry, do you think there's a chance that Fisher just...ate the mission logs on accident?"

Barry cut a rift and threw a couple of those bombs inside. "But in that case, why can't any of us find the Starblaster?"

"That's the ship you got on, right?" Julia asked.

"Okay, wait a minute, hold on," Taako walked closer to Julia and Kravitz and forced them to step backwards. "What _is_ this? There shouldn't be more static."

Kravitz scrambled backwards, tugged on Julia's arm to bring her back too. "Fuck, _please_ don't come any closer, that's--"

Before Taako could get any closer to harm Julia and Kravitz, a woman's voice came from the door from the tardigrade room. "Sorry 'bout that, fellas, I wanted to turn off the anti-gravity in that room." Taako stopped to look at her, and Kravitz lifted his eyes to see--

"Is _THAT_ a soul inside of a robot?" Kravitz pointed at the robot with _a soul inside of a cage affixed to it_ and couldn't hold back an explosion. Fuck. _Fuck,_ was he going to have to take one of _them_ into the Stockade, too? Did they become _necromancers?_   "You know that's high-level necromancy, right? Did the three of you do that?"

Magnus shook his head violently. "Nuh-uh, that was Lucas!"

"Wasn't that the name of the bounty?" Julia asked. She brought out the book and flipped through it. "Lucas Miller?"

"A bounty?" Magnus stared at Julia. "What do you mean, a bounty?"

"Oh, uh, that's what this is, I--I work for the Raven Queen now." Julia shut the book and made it disappear. "We're, um, bounty hunters, for Death--"

All three of the boys and the robot fumbled backwards.

Kravitz sprung forward to do damage control. Last thing he wanted was to scare his fiancé away. "I--I know, that's kind of spooky, but we're really not--"

And that was the worst time for Barry to fail a dexterity check, but that's just how things worked out.

Instead of hitting a crystal bomb into his rift, Barry knocked it a few inches to the side. It flew across the lobby right at Merle's feet. It hit the floor and the shrill sound of a light bulb crash hit everyone's ears. Merle held up his hand against the blast.

His suit was punctured, and a few spikes of crystal emerged out of the hole in his gloves.

Magnus immediately ran forward with his axe. "Let me chop it off!"

Taako just pointed at Kravitz, finger waggling erratically. "See? See! I fucking _told you,_ we shouldn't have--even given these bozos the time of day--"

"You are _not_ choppin' my damn arm off!" Merle wailed as the crystal crawled up his forearm.

"If you let me do it quick enough it'll just be the hand!" Magnus cornered Merle with his foot, tried to get him as still as possible.

"What's going _on_ over there?" The voice through the door asked.

The room dissolved into chaos and shouts. It was hard to focus on one thing, from Merle's screams to Magnus' axe to the robot's voice, and to the defensive stance Taako took. To Julia's attempts to get closer and Barry's stammered apologies. This wasn't how Kravitz expected to be reunited with his family, and he wasn't a huge fan of the way this went. They needed to regroup and come back, there was no salvaging this situation.

"We need to get out of here," Kravitz said. None of them could get close enough to help Merle. If they stayed, the others might have been tempted to attack one of them instead of getting Merle to safety. Kravitz didn't want to fight any of his family, and he figured Julia and Barry wouldn't want to either, so it was best to bug out.

Julia didn't go immediately. "But, Magnus--"

"We'll see him later, come on!" Kravitz shouted across the lobby. "Barry!"

"Ri--right!" Barry moved around the holy ring to join Julia and Kravitz. "Sorry, Merle!"

The robot hovered to Merle and Magnus had his axe in the air. Taako turned to throw one potshot at Kravitz. But when he lifted his (Lup's) umbrella towards Kravitz to cast a spell, it refused to pop out any magic. Gave them just enough time to cut a rift and leave. The last things they heard were the sounds of Magnus demanding to chop Merle's arm off, and the chaotic yells from the rest of the crew that followed.

* * *

Kravitz tried his best to keep on like it was a normal mission, but it wasn't.

His fiancé was here, he couldn't get close to him, and he tried to attack Kravitz at the end there. And, sure, Taako had a pretty good reason to attack him, but that didn't mean that Kravitz was _okay_ with that. Julia looked like she was going through a similar crisis, which left Barry with the responsibility to try and pick up the pieces. It was hard for him, too, since now he shouldered the blame of Merle's injury. Still, they needed to cast those feelings aside for the moment. They had a job to do.

After they left the three of them to deal with Merle's accident, they moved through the lab to try and locate Lucas Miller. They couldn't find anything of note, but heard some eerie music from the crystals. Every room they came across was either empty or completely encased in crystals. They weren't getting anywhere. How could Lucas keep escaping them like this? Kravitz could see frustration seeping out of Julia, and could feel the same out of him. It was _distracting_ to be so close to their family and be unable to speak to them regularly. It clouded their judgment on the job, as much as they both hated to admit it.

They backtracked to see if Lucas was in a previous room, and found quite the sight.

Magnus, Merle, and Taako were on the floor, along with two women. Merle grabbed at his legs, unable to move them but fully mobile elsewhere in his body. Magnus could move his head and had some arm leverage. Taako and the two women--a dragonborn and an orc--were completely down for the count, in a sad, sad state. Lup's umbrella (or, he guessed, Taako's) fell a good number of feet away from him, but was subtly scooting towards him with a lot of effort. The robot hovered above them, unaffected by whatever ailed the five of them.

If Kravitz was there to attack any of them, he'd probably be able to get them in a couple shots.

But, of course, they weren't there for this group. Only Lucas. That robot, too, and any other robots that had dead souls inside, but he hadn't found anymore like that yet. Just that fucking weird elevator that tried to lick him. He checked his book real quick to see if those women were on his list, and they weren't. That was good. He had everyone here paralyzed, and they could all have a nice chat.

Wow, that sounded creepy.

Julia spoke first, eyes on the five of them. "What's all this?"

"Jules--" Magnus started, and then looked to Taako. "Uh, I mean--like, uh. Shit. Um. Lucas--"

"Lucas made these suits for us and then _trapped us_ in them, and, _it sucks,"_ the orc woman said, barely able to speak without fluid movement of her jaw.

"Oh, so it's the suits?" Barry flicked his eyes between all of them. "You could probably cast something like Dispel Magic or Lesser Restoration to get rid of that."

"Wait." Merle twisted his face up. "You're helping us?"

"We've already told you that you're not our targets," Kravitz said. He wasn't sure how many times he'd have to stress that.

Julia nodded. "We'd, uh, love to help more, too, but we can't get within, like, twenty feet of you." 

"Because of the _ring,"_ Barry said, strained. He was just as frustrated by the distance as Kravitz and Julia were, but for different reasons. "You know, uh, I know Dispel Magic, I could help out with recovery if you just. Um. Take off your friend's ring."

Merle waggled his arms, offended. "Hey, I _also_ know Dispel Magic!"

Barry looked two seconds away from tugging all his hair out. "Do you want to waste all your spell slots, though?"

"What's a spell slot?"

Kravitz couldn't hold back a snort. At the very least, Merle didn't change too much. Maybe Taako didn't change that much, either. Maybe Kravitz just wasn't used to being outside his small circle of trust.

Merle reached over and yelled, _"Shabadoo!"_ for some reason, and then cast Dispel Magic. A couple bolts of purple energy shot off of Taako's suit and he slowly dislodged his arms from their paralyzed positions. His umbrella made its way to him after the scurrying and the nudging. Taako looked at it for a second, not so shocked that it made its way to him, and took it in hand.

"So, what? You just need the ring off?" he asked, and Kravitz nodded furiously, buzzing with excitement.

"If it gets us back up and running..." Magnus looked up at Julia, a complicated look on his face. "I'd do it, Taako."

"Yeah, well, this still seems like a fucking trap, so--" Taako gripped the umbrella handle harder and pointed it at Kravitz, his facade of calm dropped in an instant. "Hey, thug, what's your name? I'm about to tentacle your dick!"

Kravitz couldn't help but burst into laughter. He knew Taako got back into magic at some point and could probably have delivered on that promise, but he just couldn't _believe_ what the fuck he just said. His friends seemed to think it was funny too, exchanging looks like they didn't believe this was about to happen.

"Hey, hey, hey, I'm gonna get you into some tent porn." Taako wiggled the Umbra staff in the air, dead serious. "Let me get that name real quick so I know how to credit you in my tentacle porn I'm about to make with your body."

Kravitz _couldn't even take this._ He knew Taako was pointing a weapon at him with intention to hurt, but he just. Hadn't been exposed to his _shenanigans_ in so long that he didn't even see it coming.

"Hey, you heard me. I didn't stutter."

Taako took aim at Kravitz and _looked_ like he cast a spell, but nothing happened. A puff of smoke shot out of the staff's tip. It jumped out of his hands and clattered to the floor, in defiance of its owner, like it had a mind of its own.

"My name's Kravitz," he finally managed, coming down from his laughing fit. He stared at the staff on the floor, watched it scoot back to Taako. "And, not to, um, rain on your parade, but I don't see any tentacles."

"Well, I, uh, _was_ gonna shoot you off with Evard's Black Tentacles, but, uh, umbrella's not letting me do that--" Taako reached for the staff once more and ran his hand on the fabric. "Guess I just ran out of, uh, spell slots. Or something."

"You could try a cantrip," Barry suggested, eyes fixed directly on the staff. His mind was turning gears over and over, and Kravitz had the feeling he was coming up with some conclusion but it sailed right over his own head. He wasn't the scientist.

"I mean, ye-yeah, sure, let me just--" Taako thrust the staff forward once more. This time, a couple sparks of light came out, but nothing that could do any harm. Taako groaned and put the staff down. "Okay, nope, shit's busted."

Merle craned his neck to look at the staff. "Are you gonna have to take that back to Leon?"

"Oh _hell no,_ you think Leon could do anything to fix this shit?"

"Yo--you know Leon's actually a pretty good guy, right?" The orc woman spoke through her teeth, barely audible. "I got my feather duster out of the Fantasy Gachapon, it's--it was sweet."

Kravitz sort of tuned out of their fight for the time being. Taako made no moves to remove his ring, and he had to figure out how to get him to trust the three of them enough to do so. He saw Magnus staring at Julia again. Not in awe, but with a sad longing that Kravitz could only pin down because he was sure he'd made that face dozens of times at Taako's old shows.

"Are you really Julia?" Magnus asked, pleading. "I'm--if you're not, that's...fine, but. If you're not, can you take her face off?"

"Magnus, it's really me." Julia knelt down on the floor so that she was level with him. Still twenty feet away, but not looming over him. "If you'd just--get out of the radius of that ring, I could fuckin' _kiss you,_ or something, but I'm. Stuck." She reached out her hand and felt the burn of the ring, recoiling immediately.

"Taako, I--listen, I want to go over there." Magnus broke Taako out of his argument with the orc. "I don't think she's an illusion. She would have blown her cover hours ago if she was, right?"

"Listen, you can get your--yourself stuck in a little horny siren song trap, that's fine, but--" 

The dragonborn spoke up. "The  Director's going to kick your ass if she learns you spoke to 'em, you know."

"The Director?" Barry got out his notepad and scribbled that down like his life depended on it.

"Our boss," Merle said.

Kravitz looked over the five of them. Didn't seem like it was a lie. "Why does she care whether or not we speak?"

"I dunno, 'cause _you_ made the Grand Relics?" The orc growled, unhappy with Kravitz as a concept. "You're the reason she made this place? Ring any bells?"

"I didn't--" Kravitz shook his head. He stepped in front of Barry unconsciously as a defense. "I didn't do that, I'm not an artificer."

"The Director says that you're the one that made the relics and released them out into the world to make _more death,"_ the orc continued, her voice nasty and violent, wholly distrusting of Kravitz and his coworkers. "I mean, makes sense, you want all the business you can get."

"I don't kill people for sport!" Kravitz' skin turned translucent and then transparent. He knew he was getting spookier, that this might harm his case more than anything else, but he wasn't running on logic at the moment. "Listen, just get your friend to take his ring off and I swear we'll help you out of this mess." Kravitz opened his bounty book and turned the page to Lucas' details. He showed it to them, even though he knew they wouldn't be able to read a word at a distance. "We're only here for Lucas, we're going to take him down and throw him into the Stockade--he's the one that trapped you, yeah? Don't you want to see him punished for that?"

The six of them looked at each other. Raised eyebrows all around. Eventually, all of their gazes fell to Taako.

"Alright, alright!" Taako groaned and adjusted himself. "If I'm doing this, you better fuckin'--axe in one hand, big guy, make sure I don't get clobbered the second this gets off."

"You got it." Magnus kept his eyes on Julia, hopeful.

"Okay." Taako wiggled and pulled at his ring finger through the suit. Kravitz could see the outline of the ring fall off the finger and into the palm area of Taako's suit. "Well, uh, not like I can take the suit off, but, ring's off and it's just kinda janglin' around in my glove part."

Kravitz held his hand forward. No burn.

Julia took an experimental step over the previous holy threshold. When she didn't get hurt by it, she broke off into a sprint towards Magnus. She ended in a slide, knocked into Magnus like a curling stone. It took a little bit of work for Magnus' paralyzed arms to wrap around Julia, but as soon as they did, he refused to let go. They both dissolved into giggles and laughter, not letting go.

Magnus moved his hands to cup Julia's face and watched her with stars in his eyes. "It's really you?"

"It's really me," she said, arms looping around his helmet, "and if you didn't have this helmet on, I'd kiss you to prove it."

"Later?" he asked, face at the edge of the helmet's glass.

"Later," she said, and pressed her lips right where his would be on the other side.

"Great, happy ending or whatever..." Taako averted his eyes from the couple. He turned his attention back to Kravitz, and _whoa,_ Kravitz just fucking _forgot_ how pretty his eyes were, now that he could see them at a reasonable distance. "But you said you'd get us out of this mess if I took off the ring, so..."

"I've got it." Barry moved forward and knelt down to Taako. He cast Dispel Magic on the suit again, and then a third time, and Taako slowly was able to get all his movement back. "Kravitz, can you get those two?"

Kravitz nodded. He walked to the two women and knelt down next to the dragonborn, ready to help. "Here, um..."

"Carey," said the dragonborn, the answer to a question that Kravitz was _just_ getting to. "And that's Killian over there."

"Of course." Kravitz got to work on their suits, which took a lot of time since they were fully paralyzed like Taako. Magnus was still bad off, but he was entangled with Julia and whispering to her. Catching up. Merle would probably be the last to get help, since only his legs were affected.

Merle grumbled to himself and cast Dispel Magic on his own suit. Didn't want to wait. He waddled over to Barry, still taking his time on Taako's suit. "Hey, this's great an' all, but these guys're kind of the reasons I'm missing a hand!" Merle waved said hand in the air. It was four-fingered and made of wood, and was attached to his forearm with thick branches. A tree hand. It suited him, even though Kravitz would prefer he be a two-handed dwarf. At least Magnus caught the crystals before it got further up his arm.

"Oh." Barry watched Merle, mortified. "Oh, geez, Merle, I'm--uh, I'm so sorry--"

"How'd you know my name?"

"Death magic," he said, not missing a single beat.

Killian squinted at Kravitz. "You didn't know _our_ names."

"Kravitz is just stupid." Julia stuck her tongue out. Why'd she have to take time away from her husband to call Kravitz out?

"I am not!"

Julia and Killian just laughed.

The group was surprisingly civil once they realized the bounty hunters weren't there to take them away. They chatted as friendly as two groups of "strangers" could. Kravitz kept his eyes between Taako and the robot. She didn't seem to _realize_ she was dead, and Kravitz found that to be pretty fucking sad. He'd have to discuss her bounty later, but maybe it was best to stay quiet on it for now.

They took a short rest afterwards, and Taako took a few of them into a _pocket dimension spa_   (Kravitz desperately wanted to go in with him, but couldn't think of a professional reason why he would, and didn't want to be creepy). They bickered on as if Kravitz and Barry weren't there, but Magnus' full attention was on Julia. But, soon, everyone stood up. Inspected each other once more before running off again.

"Oh, Killian, no, no! Killian, no, you can't go on like that!" Carey reached up and thumbed the back of Killian's helmet. It was a little harder to read dragonborn faces, but she looked extremely concerned. "You could--you could get some crystal in there, that's super dangerous!"

Killian reached to the back of her head and her finger passed over the crack. "Oh my god. This is--I'm--I--oh my god. This is the most _frustrating_ thing that's ever happened." Killian brought her fingers in front of her face and grimaced at them, as if they were the reason her helmet was busted. "All I've wanted in life up to this point is to find Lucas and destroy him. And I don't think it's safe for me to go on much further with this--with this here crack in my helmet."

Magnus held his finger over the latch in his helmet. "Do you wanna swap helmets?"

"Well that seems like--I--your sweet head can't get crystallized either!" Killian knocked him in the back of the helmet. "Dumb-dumb!"

"It's already pretty thick," Magnus admitted.

"It really is," Julia added, and dipped down to kiss Magnus' helmet right where his temple would be.

Taako took his eyes off of them again, completely intolerant of this new sappy couple. "Eugh, stop being straight in front of me!"

"I'm bi," Magnus and Julia both said, with a slight overlap.

"Fine, I'll allow it."

"Um, but I...I gotta be honest with you guys." Killian dropped her hands into her lap. "I don't think it's that smart for me get close to that relic to begin with."

Magnus tilted his head to the side. "Oh, but that's not your job, right? That's our job."

"Yeah, I mean it's up to you guys to recover that stuff and I, um..." Killian let out a deep breath. "I haven't really told you guys this, but you remember when we met and we recovered that gauntlet together?"

"Yeah?" Taako asked.

"Yeah?" Magnus said, louder than Taako.

"Yeah," Merle finished, with a sage nod.

"I really wanted to grab it and take it and put it on?" Killian frowned, increasingly uncomfortable as she admitted this. "And get fire p--fire powers. Like, I really..."

A lightbulb went off in Kravitz' brain. He pointed to the trio. "You were the ones who got the gauntlet?"

"Orc, human, dwarf, elf with umbrella..." Barry pointed at each of them as he rattled off descriptions, and then dug his face into his hands. "Oh, fuck, we're dumb."

"Hold o--hold up, you knew about that?" Taako watched Barry and Kravitz with more suspicion. He really didn't give them a break.

"We've been watching the relics for a long time. Lots of deaths for no reason that suddenly dropped off, entire wars that stopped overnight--of course we're going to investigate that." Kravitz leaned forward, tried his best not to sound _too_ interested. Just interested as if it were business. "They've all been going missing is that--was that you?"

"I mean, I took the gauntlet because I'm, like, the best at everything," Taako said, in a voice that wasn't at all convincing to Kravitz. He knew his bluffing voice, and wasn't sure why he brought it out while bragging. Kravitz wished he could tell Taako about his hundreds of achievements.

"I thought it was just 'cause you were an idiot," Merle teased.

"That part of my character got hella retconned, it was, like, before anything was established, there--listen, that's not the point--" Taako made a few stuttering noises. Kravitz wasn't sure what the fuck he meant by that, but wasn't about to argue. "But yeah, we take the relics and destroy them and get hella fat stacks for it."

"You don't feel the thrall?" Kravitz asked--he assumed they wouldn't, but it was more suspicious for him _not_ to ask.

"I mean, yeah, a little, but it's--you can get over it." Taako started a few sentences, grasping for just the right words. "You--it's--we all want it, but we just didn't. Just kind of, rise above it, y'know."

"Yeah."

Taako watched him again, suspicion never wavered. Kravitz didn't immediately shy away, but had no idea how he looked to Taako. Nervous, most likely, that's how he felt. After a moment, Taako flashed him one mild, humorless smile.

Kravitz took that as a win.

"How about this? How about a new job for you," Magnus said, and _whoops,_ Kravitz might have missed a whole chunk of conversation while he was staring goo-eyed at Taako. Wouldn't be the first time, but normally Taako _knew._

Killian nodded "Yeah?"

"You and Noelle get the bugbears outta here to safety."

Oh, no. No, no, even though these were his _friends_ and his _fiancé,_ Kravitz did have to take care of that dead robot. "Now, actually, we need to take your robot friend there--"

"--and anyway, I'd kind of like to see this through," the robot interrupted. "I can tell you how to get 'em out, though, we should be able to, um, figure out a path through the lab to extract you so you're not crystallized." The robot put their hands (were they hands?) together in an approximation of a nervous gesture. "But I need to...there's somethin' I need to figure out, um. So I--"

"Is it math?" Magnus asked.

"No, I know all math, I'm a robot, so..."

"Oh, okay."

"I can just punch that into my Windows, sort of my MS-DOS calculator brain." She laughed, trilled and robotic. "But yeah, I'd like to stick with you guys, if that's alright."

Magnus accepted that. "Okay!"

The robot (Noelle?) floated over to Killian and printed out a sheet of paper. She pulled out a little highlighter from a compartment and wrote on the paper, which looked to be some kind of map. Killian took it from her when she finished.

"Okay, I'm gonna--I guess I'm gonna head out." Killian side-hugged the dragonborn, and, _huh._ Hm. Okay, they were definitely dating. Kravitz didn't know for sure, of course, but he just had a feeling. "Carey, be careful. Just get these guys to the--to the finish line, don--"

Julia didn't like that idea. "You're sending her out on her own, with that crack in her helmet?"

"We need hands on this mission." Carey pointed her thumb to her chest. "I'm a Regulator, it's my job to grab Lucas while these guys grab the relic."

Kravitz kept polite, and did _not_ roll his eyes at that. "Well, consider this: it's technically _our_ job to grab Lucas."

"You're also Death, and, no offence, you seem chill, but we've had _multiple direct orders_ not to talk to you." Killian pointed at all three of the bounty hunters threateningly. "The only reason I'm not telling the Director is because Magnus is sweet on one of your coworkers. If I ever see you again--"

"Listen, we're really not here to take you away. Or, at least, not all of you." Kravitz shot a look at the robot. "If we're both trying to get this Lucas, why don't you just...follow us? Or we'll follow you. Either one would work. That way, you can help her out and make sure she doesn't get crystallized."

"You shouldn't trust them, the Director will be pissed," Carey warned.

"I don't care." Magnus squeezed Julia's hands "I--look, boys, we don't have to--it's up to you, but my vote is to let them--or, at least Julia--stay."

"And, Mags, I swear--these guys are cool." Julia gave Barry and Kravitz a once-over and snorted. "Well, not _cool,_ but, they're pretty good at what they do. They're not going to hurt you. I know we can get Lucas."

Merle stroked his beard. "I mean, the real question is, does Carey want to go with Killian?"

"Well, yeah, that's a given, I always do." Oh, they were _definitely_ dating.

Killian walked over to Kravitz and pointed a menacing finger at him. "If you do anything--uh, if Lucas _doesn't_ die at the end of this, you're in big trouble, okay?"

Kravitz had to try real hard to look intimidated at that, since he really wasn't. "Sure."

"Then I'll go with Killian." Carey stuck out her forked tongue at Kravitz and Barry, and then winked. "Don't fuck this up, okay?"

"We won't," Barry promised.

Killian and Carey both nodded and went back to the door they came from, leaving Kravitz, Julia, and Barry with three of their crew members and a dead robot. A dead robot that Kravitz would have to take into the Stockade later. But for the time being, Lucas was a lot more dangerous. Maybe if the Noelle helped out, she could have a lighter sentence, considering she didn't seem aware she was dead and was obviously a victim.

"Well, let's head out," Magnus said. He stood up and offered a hand to Julia.

"Can't wait to kick some more ass with you." Julia got to her feet and hugged Magnus. Kravitz would call her out on being a little too touchy in front of everyone else, but he knew he'd be the same way if he was in her position.

"Hey, Kravitz," Barry whispered, "the umbrella--"

"It's moved on its own and it's refused to cast spells at us?" Kravitz kept his voice low, careful to make sure nobody else heard. "I'm not sure if that's something Lup loaded into it, or if it's--something else that's going on."

"Either way, we need eyes on it." Barry stared at the umbrella, swinging at Taako's side. "I'd like to take it and study it, but..."

"Taako doesn't trust us at all right now, we need to wait until he's a little more friendly before we can do that." Kravitz _really_ wanted to snatch that umbrella from him, though. Later. That would be his next mission. If they figured out where Taako got that umbrella, maybe they could find Lup. "Otherwise we'll--he'll never open up, you know?"

"Yeah. I'll see what I can figure out from here, though."

The seven of them made their way to the elevator shaft that Noelle said she saw Lucas escape from. They called the elevator, but when it came to their floor, the elevator's entrance was blocked off by an inoperable metal grate. Magnus and Julia tried to pry it open, but with no luck. After some bickering, they heard a sound come from above, like smashing. It kept going, again and again and again, until they saw the edges of the elevator car crinkle and compress. As it was destroyed, a bright yellow elevator car descended from--

Oh, for _fuck's_ sake.

It was that gross elevator Kravitz used before. Bright yellow, big red nose, two shining cartoon eyes, rosy cheeks--a fucking nightmare. The eyes darted back and forth, watched the whole party, and spoke in a shrill, pained voice.

The cartoon eyes lit up at the sight of the bounty hunters. "Oh, it's you three again! I'm very excited to get all of you back into my mouth box!"

_"Goddamn it."_

"Is that the thing from the museum?" Magnus asked.

"It's me, Mister Upsy, your lifting friend! I heard a rumor that you kids needed to go to a different floor than the one you're on now!"

Magnus didn't seem too disturbed by Upsy yet. "You heard correct."

"Well, climb inside my tum-tum, you goose!" Upsy's doors fell open to reveal the sticky, wet mess inside. Magnus, Merle, and Taako stared at it with wide eyes. The sight could make anyone sick to the stomach. Noelle floated inside first, not all that bothered by Upsy. The rest of them could only stand outside for so long before they had no other choice but to walk inside, accompanied by wet squishing noises. Upsy made some very weird pleased hums and gasps when they all entered.

"Why is it so wet in here?" Magnus asked, clutched to Julia's arm in defense.

"Mm, why indeed!" Upsy's voice boomed in their ears from every direction. "Press my buttons from inside of me!"

Everyone watched each other in a silent game of chicken. See who caved and pressed the button first. Eventually, Taako groaned and reached forward to press his finger to the fleshy, pussy nodule. A little bit of goo seeped out and he yelped. He walked backwards into Barry, and didn't immediately run off to Magnus and Merle's side in retaliation.

Progress.

* * *

Traveling through the lab with the group wasn't as difficult as Kravitz assumed it would be. He thought he wouldn't be able to focus with his friends and fiancé _right there,_ but it turned out that this lab was _just_ fucked up enough for him to pay attention. But he kept quiet. Jotted down the worst that he saw and tried his best not to freak out the three boys over all the infractions. Joked along with them and managed to have a pretty good time. Didn't bring up Noelle's whole situation, kept his head down. He could figure that out later.

He was able to keep it together right up until the point Noelle opened the door to the robot assembly room.

They entered through a puff of fog and smoke. If nothing else, Kravitz had to give Lucas points for theatrics. But no amount of points in the world mattered once the smoke cleared. It was the largest room they'd stumbled in so far (and just as messy as the rest of the lab), filled to the brim with hundreds of robots. They moved on an assembly line, broken ones were tucked into corners, and finished ones exited through a tunnel on the opposite end of the room. The robots looked more sophisticated than Noelle, as if she were the first version of all these new ones. They had that same fuse box that held Noelle's soul, but just a tad bit more advanced. They almost looked _human,_ or whatever race they played to be.

Magnus went crazy over the arms, but Kravitz couldn't even pay attention to that. So many robots intended to house souls like Noelle--that was terrifying. What kind of necromancer was Lucas, anyway? What was his plan, here?

"Oh _My Lady,"_   Kravitz said, under his breath, "this is a lot."

Barry whipped out his field book, eyes wide half in horror and half in excitement. "Man, if we thought Lucas was in trouble _before."_

Magnus looked back at them from his arm rampage. "What? What's up?"

"This is very high level necromancy." Barry held out a finger and moved around the room. "Hold on, I think--I'm gonna take a minute here to, uh, take some notes, do a little inspection--evidence gathering."

"Oh, sure." Taako sat down on one of the inactive conveyor belts, and Merle joined him.

"Just, hang tight, should only be a few," Kravitz said, and brought out his ledger to take a few notes of his own. It was good to have Barry here to help understand what _exactly_ Lucas' crimes were. Kravitz knew a fair deal about necromancy, but it wasn't his specialty. He couldn't pick apart everything like Barry could. It was actually pretty great to have him on staff. If Lup were here, she'd be able to do the same. Kravitz hoped they could find her soon.

At the mention of necromancy and robots, Noelle floated a bit closer to the floor. Kravitz could see the way her soul wavered, knew some pretty unpleasant thoughts were forming in there. If she didn't realize she was dead before, she'd be able to piece it together now, or at least soon. It wasn't something Kravitz liked to see--these unwilling victims that didn't even know they were the physical embodiment of a necromancy crime.

Magnus seemed to notice Noelle's discomfort as well. "Noelle, any thoughts you'd like to share with us in this moment?"

"No, I haven't...I haven't actually been here in a while, I don't. I don't know what most of these are--" She floated around without purpose, voice frantic and confused. "I don't know what's goin' on with most of these."

"Uh-huh." Magnus kept an eye on Noelle's fuse box.

Kravitz stopped his work to step closer to Noelle. "It may be best not to think on it too much, Noelle." He had the sinking feeling that her sentence would end up extremely light at the end of all this. He always felt bad for victims. 

"No, I, uh--I'm no scientist, but." She darted around, erratic now. "I...I mean, everyone's a little curious about their, uh, sorta...their beginnin', right?"

"Right."

"I just--there's somethin' I'm missing, but. Again, I'm no, uh, scientist." She calmed down once more, now more sad than confused.

She looked like she _wanted_ to know what happened to her, but couldn't bring herself to connect the dots all the way. It was a frightening revelation, of course, Kravitz didn't blame her for that. There wasn't a good way for her to realize this, at least without outside help. Kravitz could try and help, but he was also an agent of the Raven Queen. She could get suspicious and lock up, he didn't know her very well.

Before Kravitz could get too deep in his thoughts on how to help this robot, Taako rose from his seat and addressed her. "Hey--hey, Noelle, I noticed you have some sort of fuse-looking thing, similar to some of these other robots."

"Yeah."

"What's--what's that all about?" he asked, careful, not accusing or attacking.

Kravitz stopped. Merle and Noelle kept talking about angels and machines for a moment, but he didn't process it. He knew Taako was trying to gently nudge Noelle towards the thought that she's dead, but as far as Kravitz knew, the two had just met. They had just met, and Taako tried to do something for her benefit. It could have been his own curiosity, too, but normally he didn't want to stick his nose into the business of someone in obvious distress. That put him in a position of helping, and he nope'd the fuck out of that action as much as possible. But here, he at least _tried_ to help Noelle, even if it wasn't working out that well.

It was a whole lot different from when Taako admitted he didn't think much of anyone outside the crew.

In some roundabout way, maybe this was good for him? Taako had ten years of independence, ten years to need to make new friends, ten years to care about this plane he'd landed on. Kravitz would never wish for this to happen on purpose, but if Taako improving himself was a side effect of this whole mess, well. That was _one_ good thing, at least.

Barry finished up his evidence gathering and packed up. Noelle led them to a stopped conveyor belt that moved through a tunnel into the next section of the lab. The canvas of the belt squeaked underneath them through the whole walk, and echoed through the tunnel back at them. It took a few twists and turns through the dark tunnel, only the light from Noelle's lavender flashlight to guide them. That, and most of the party's darkvision, but Magnus needed some way to see. She swore it wasn't very long, but the slippery canvas and the piles of robot junk made it about a ten minute trek.

A little ways into the tunnel, a bright light appeared in front of them. Two more appeared next to it.

Kravitz immediately recognized them as souls, but _then_ realized they'd been in the Astral plane before. These weren't just souls, these were _escaped_ souls, and _fuck,_ how many bounties were in this goddamn lab?

The three souls attempted to whiz right past the group, but Julia caught two and Kravitz caught one before they could make it all the way backwards. It only took a moment to throw them back into the Astral plane, in a holding room to determine if they needed to go into the Stockade later.

"Nice catch," Barry said.

The rest of the party blinked dazedly at the three bounty hunters, confused. "What _were_   those?" Magnus asked.

"Souls." Kravitz quickly reverted to his soul form to show as an example. He held it for a few moments to let the rest inspect him, and then molded back into his construct to speak. "See? A ball of light."

Noelle touched her fuse box, looked as contemplative as a robot could.

"Why were souls floating around in this tunnel?" Magnus looked ahead, searching for more lights.

Julia followed. "It looked like they escaped from the Astral plane. Lucas must have summoned them here."

Barry ran up through the tunnel. "Either that, or there's a leak."

"I don't want to think about that at all." Kravitz waited for the rest of the party to go catch up with Magnus, Barry, and Julia, and then they all made their way further through the tunnel. Noelle said nothing, didn't acknowledge them. She was probably working through her own existence. It would be best to let her be and figure that all out as it came to her.

That's what would be _best,_ but that didn't happen.

"Hey, uh," Magnus whispered to Merle and Taako, not realizing that Kravitz could hear their every word, "why'd the lights look exactly like the one in Noelle's fuse?"

Merle sucked some air through his teeth. "Ohhh, man."

"Do you think she noticed? That's kind of a bummer."

"Taako, go talk to her." Merle elbowed Taako.

Their bickering caught Noelle's attention and she let out a robot's approximation of a sigh (why did Lucas program that into her sound file?). "C'mon, guys, we've gotta move on, we're almost--we're almost there."

Magnus laid a hand on the bulk of her machinery. "Noelle..."

"Yeah?"

"I recognize now that you are a spirit, in a robot body--"

Julia hit Magnus in the arm. "Oh, geez, Mags, do you really want to do this now--"

"--but I want you to know that I appreciate you as a member of this team--"

Merle propped his hands on his hips and squinted at Kravitz. "Are you guys gonna arrest Noelle?"

"--I don't know what you--I really don't know what you're talking about." Noelle floated away from the group, unable to take in so many sounds and ideas at once.

"Okay, whenever you're ready," Magnus said, and nodded.

 _"Magnus!"_ Julia shook his shoulder and whispered forcefully. "You can't just tell someone they're--you know."

"I mean, holistically speaking, you've gone from being a sentient AI to being a soul trapped in a machine..." Taako looked up at her sympathetically. Kravitz was both impressed by his ability to be so gentle like this while presenting logical facts and his ability to fuck up this poor soul's thoughts. "I think it's a zero-sum game, you didn't have any illusions about your own agency, right?"

"Is this, like, funny?" Noelle's lights flashed painfully bright for a second. "Is this, like--are you joking about this?"

"You _guys--"_   Julia groaned and drew a hand across her face, annoyed. "Ugh, no, it's not, we--I wasn't saying much, I thought it'd be better if you--figured it out yourself."

Taako finally realized he said too much about Noelle's state. "Oh gosh. Okay. Someone's really stepped in the old spectral doo-doo now, eh?"

Some parts whirred in Noelle's machinery, and she locked up. "I did--I--I died. Oh my god, I'm remembering now." Her body slowly floated to the floor as she spoke. "I--I--my name was Noelle Redcheek. My family runs a cider press out in--out in Hogsbottom. I was ridin' our donkey into town and I was makin' a delivery to some dive bar, the..." A few beeps and whirs. "It was The Sleeping Giant. And it was in town, in Phandolin. And we heard--"

"Never heard of it," Merle said. Taako and Magnus shook their heads and mumbled some more denials too, but Noelle didn't pay much mind to them.

"And we heard screams from outside so I went--I went and hid in the stockroom and--we saw that dwarf that was on fire, but--he ran out to fight an orc and we thought we were safe." Her voice sounded more horrified as she recalled the event. "And then the whole world got burned up."

Merle shook his head. "That sucks. That is bad news."

"Yeah. Woof. Woof. Woo..." Taako genuinely looked guilty that he brought it up, and moved closer to Noelle. "Hate to hear that, you know. I'm so sorry."

God, Kravitz knew he shouldn't have focused so much on Taako, but _god damn, he was being nice to this robot._   After all that talk about not caring about anyone, that was one hell of a milestone. He still wasn't at the level that most people were, but this was a start and Kravitz was happy to see his partner branching out socially. If Taako asked him to waive Noelle's bounty, Kravitz knew he'd have a hard time saying no to that.

"But what matters now is that you're technically alive," Magnus said, which was a big fat lie.

Even Merle knew that was bunk. "Well, no, not technically..."

Taako pointed his thumb out at Barry and Kravitz. "And, uh, these three might have to come collect, y'know--"

Magnus still rattled off on his dumb thing while everyone else proved how wrong he was. "She--you're in a techno body, so you're technically alive."

"I would _not_ say she's alive." Kravitz spoke with force. Even though he came to care about Noelle in the short time he spent with her, he was still an authority and still had a job to do. "And, no, we're not out on Noelle yet, let's just...not think on that right at this moment."

Noelle, for her part, barely paid attention to the rest of them and burst out into laughter. "I'm sorry--I just remembered, I was in that back room and everything was getting burned up, and I remember my last thought was that the whole world was gettin' destroyed." Her laughter settled down and she hovered to look around at everyone. "And the fact I'm here, and ya'll are still here...I thought the world was ending, I thought my whole family was gone, but the world's still here, right?" She paused, waited for the rest to nod and affirm the statement. "It's still here!"

"Phandolin not so much..." Merle muttered low enough so Noelle couldn't hear.

Taako clicked his teeth, looked at Noelle like he tried to solve a math problem. "Let's parse the question. Was your family in Phandolin?"

"No, they're out in Hogsbottom."

Magnus, Merle, and Taako let out a few relieved noises. Kravitz found himself just as grateful for the information. The relics made a lot of collateral damage, but at least Noelle had this. Things would be complicated, but now they could speak clearly about the whole situation.

"Do ya'll know what happened to Phandolin?" Noelle asked, more lively and curious now that she knew the whole truth.

"Um, no--I heard--you just said that it burned?" Magnus wore a lopsided grin as he sidestepped that particular tragedy. God, how did Kravitz not realize the group at Phandolin was these three? "You said that, right? That was you? Yeah."

"Yeah, yeah," Merle said, both him and Magnus nodding along as if the Phandolin glassing was some big secret. Noelle was _there,_ she knew this all.

Kravitz thought this could be a perfect time to step in and speak. This was his job, after all, to fix fuckups like this. But Taako opened his mouth first, and it wasn't like Kravitz could interrupt him even if his entire existence depended on it.

"We are part of the people that try to keep things that happened in Phandolin from happening," Taako explained, and Merle nodded enthusiastically. He chose his words carefully, like he tried to dodge Fisher's static. "We have...a pretty good success rate, if you don't count that one, which, we can all agree, was a world-class boner. Now, if you want to keep what happened to you from happening to other people, it is imperative that you aid us down here in completing our mission."

"In this. In this thing now," Magnus added.

"You're saying that this thing that's turning this lab to crystal is trying to do to the world like what happened in Phandolin?"

"You can save the world, Noelle," Taako said, and Kravitz' heart flipped as he watched him psyche up this robot.

Noelle considered this. "All right, then. Let's fuck 'em up."

"Heeeell yeah."

Noelle turned to the conveyor belt, which had a mass of junk laying about on it. Her fuse ejected out of the robot and dipped down into the pile. Now that she was aware of what she was and how she worked, her soul could control this fuse. Moved it around like a fumbling puppet. She rummaged around in the pile, causing lights to flicker and gears to grind against each other.

Different robot parts meshed together until Noelle created a new robot suit for herself. Sort of a gorilla-looking exterior with a giant cannon arm. Something really cool that could be a whole boss fight in another universe, if given the chance. She tore some plating off of her old robot body and placed it onto the new one. Made it her own. Customized it entirely to her liking. When she was finished, she stood in front of the rest with pride.

"Hero time," she said, gun cocked.

Kravitz knew his job was to stop shit like this, but he had to admit that was pretty fucking rad.

* * *

Once they finished off their work in the tunnel and got Noelle all situated, the group found their way out of the conveyor belt.

The room was huge, just like the robot manufacturing room before it. Only the ceiling was crystallized. In the rest of the lab, the crystals turned everything they touched into more crystal, but this room was deliberate in its crystal placement. One giant amethyst stalactite grew from the ceiling. It encased a human--no, a robot. The fuse in the chest had to mean it was a robot, but otherwise it looked indistinguishable from a living being. In one hand, the robot held a big silver disc with rings and circuitry inside, and an unassuming looking pebble in the other.

The stalactite grew down into the floor, and there was another level below. The floor was covered in robot parts and broken fuses, and buried underneath some of those was a hatch. A pedestal with a sapphire mirror sat opposite to the stalactite, and between the two of those there was an exhausted human with a head bandage.

Without any words, they all hopped down into the room below. They could deal with the business on the ceiling later. Kravitz' first priority was to get rid of Lucas Miller. That was the only way to get rid of the necromancy here so they could clean up.  

"Oh shit," the human breathed out, exhausted. Kravitz took a quick look at their soul and identified them as Lucas Miller. He turned his attention to the robot inside the crystal and found Maureen Miller inside. If Lucas wasn't such a heinous necromancer (and, as Magnus filled him in while they were in the tunnel, a _fucking slaveowner_ to a bunch of bugbears), Kravitz would almost feel sorry for him. But then he spoke again, and all those thoughts were banished from his mind. "I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorr--"

Magnus pushed past the rest of them and picked Lucas up by his shirt collar. "I'm going to fucking kick your ass, little man!"

"Jesus!" Lucas strained against him.

"I am done fucking around. You left us up there in a room paralyzed, wandering around the lab with these death cops and one of your robots--" Magnus shook him in the air, going all out on intimidation. "--fucking _talk, now!"_

"Death cops?" Lucas turned his attention to Barry, Julia, and Kravitz. Sucked in a breath when he saw their feathered robes and scythes.

"I guess if you want to call me that," Kravitz said, and stepped forward. "Magnus, I have to read this man his rights, but if you want to get a punch in, I'll gladly allow it."

"I'll stand right here." He dropped him on a heap on the floor. "Don't want any chance of this fucker getting away."

Kravitz did appreciate that. There wasn't much for Lucas to go, but Kravitz didn't know if this sick fuck had some kind of escape route somewhere here, or if he was truly cornered. He looked two milliseconds away from crying, so Kravitz assumed this was the end.

"Lucas Miller, you've been found guilty of aiding in the escape of your deceased mother Maureen from the Eternal Stockade, where she was in prison for conspiring to escape back to the mortal world." Kravitz summoned his bounty book and turned to Lucas' page to make sure he got all the details correct. "Your mother was in prison, Lucas, and you can't break people out of prison."

"It's bad," Magnus agreed, chin in the air.

Julia leveled a Look at him. "We broke a bunch of people out of prison, Magnus."

Magnus looked awfully proud of himself. "Rebellions don't count."

Kravitz continued, deciding to listen to these shenanigans later. "You've done a lot of very heinous crimes, but there's no reason for you to die violently." He closed his book and leveled a glare at Lucas. "Just come--come with us, go--come in easy, please."

"Or else _I'll_ use force." Magnus pressed his foot into the ground.

"I--there's still so much running around in this lab, if you throw me in there you won't have any way to stop the crystal--"

"I have extremely talented coworkers." Kravitz knew Julia grinned without needing to look backwards, confident in her own abilities. Magnus also grinned, proud of his wife. Kravitz didn't let himself think on how sweet that was. He had to finish this up as quickly as possible, no need to keep his friends in danger. "There isn't any way you're getting out of this o--"

A tight grip circled around Kravitz. He looked down and saw a collective of souls, weaved together by willpower. They were all souls he recognized, ones he watched over in the Stockade on his rotations. Some he'd put in himself. Kravitz looked behind him and saw the Astral plane reflected--no, not reflected in the mirror. The mirror was a _portal._

Kravitz and the rest were so focused on Lucas they hadn't noticed the portal.

Before Kravitz could do anything to defend himself, the ghost collective hurled him to the ground like a child playing with a doll. He was slammed into the floor once, twice, five times. Barry launched forward to help him, but was also caught in the grip and thrashed around.

All he heard was some murmurs of _oh shits_ and _what the fucks_   before his consciousness tapped out completely and he was dragged into the Stockade.

* * *

Getting shoved into the Stockade wasn't any issue. 

Kravitz worked there for a good chunk of his time, and so did Barry. They knew how to tamp down a breakout, even in a daze. It wasn't like they were the only bounty hunters either, they had coworkers that could rush in and assist while their souls knit back together. They could come and go from the Stockade as they pleased. It was the equivalent of locking a Fantasy Quizno's employee inside of the store--sure, you might buy a couple minutes while they undo the locks, but they _work there,_ they know how to get out. And, sure, his soul got hit pretty hard and he needed a little time to fizzle back into consciousness, but that took an hour, tops.

The issue was reforming his construct.

Reforming his construct took time.

It wasn't a great situation to leave Julia out with the pile of ghosts to try and deal with that herself, and Kravitz worried about his family outside. He didn't know how long his consciousness was out. Barry was still down for the count, so Kravitz cut a quick rift to their apartment and shoved him in there.

Kravitz buzzed around the Stockade to find the hole the ghost collective left in, but he couldn't find the sapphire portal any longer. Good that he couldn't--a portal like that was _dangerous,_ especially one that opened right next to the Stockade, but it didn't do much to help Kravitz get a grasp on the situation.

But then the ghost collective came back.

Even just as a soul, Kravitz knew how to get the thing divided and back into their cells. Locked up nice and tight. It looked like they had been banished here, but Kravitz wasn't sure who did that. Not that he'd look a gift horse in the mouth. It was probably Julia's doing, and he'd have to ask later, but for now he needed to get out of the Stockade to assist the rest.

With his mind back online but his body out of commission for a good few days, there wasn't much Kravitz could do with a scythe. Still, he opened a rift into the lab to see if he could do _anything._   He couldn't leave his family hanging.

Things on the other side looked calm, for the most part. Julia had her bounty book open and everyone listened to her intently. Lucas was even more injured, and Merle stitched him up. Magnus was trapped under the broken sapphire mirror, and Taako just hung back with Noelle. The advanced robot was out of the crystal but wasn't there to attack anyone.

Kravitz bobbed through the rift and floated into the lab in his soul form. He wasn't strong enough to reform his construct, but at least he could communicate through one of the discarded robots lying on the floor. He hopped from one robot to the next, but most of them had broken fuses or sound outlets. By the time he got into a decent-looking robot, the whole room stared at him.

Oh, good. This one was capable of speaking. "Okay. Okay. So, we dealt with thi--"

"What the _fuck_ is that?" Taako jumped backwards, umbrella pointed directly at Kravitz. Come _on,_ how many times was he going to try and attack him?

"Oh, it's, uh, me, Kravitz. Hi." He waved his non-broken arm. Looked as friendly and pathetic as possible, not like a threat at all.

Merle crinkled up his face. "What's up with your voice?"

"I mean, I'm in a broken robot, what do y--" 

"You're doing your work accent, Kravitz," Julia said, shoulders dropped. She shut her book and moved across the room to help Magnus out from under the mirror.

"Was I not doing it this whole time?" Kravitz liked to keep a work accent, just to separate himself from his job a little bit. It was especially important for this mission, since his family was here. He didn't know how much Fisher erased, if it harmed them to know anything about Kravitz.

"Not even a little." She lifted the mirror casually and smirked over her shoulder at Kravitz.

"Shit." Seeing Taako, Magnus, and Merle distracted him so much he forgot _the accent._ He paused and collected himself, pushed away the embarrassment. "Okay, uh, then, I guess there's no use in it."

Julia rolled her eyes. "There's no use for it even on a normal job."

"Who banished the ghosts?" Kravitz figured it would be best to change the subject as quickly as possible, no need to let any of them think through the _work accent_ thing. "Was that you, Julia?"

"No, uh, that was Merle."

"Oh. That was quick thinking, Merle." If Kravitz had a face, he'd be beaming. It was a comfort to know that not all of their abilities were banished away with the static. "You're--you're a powerful dwarf, I didn't think that you would have the ability to--to banish a being as dangerous as Legion!" He realized he rambled, and hung his head down. Fuck. He needed to cool down. "Back into the, uh. Back into the Astral plane. I've gotta say, I'm genuinely impressed."

Merle nodded once. "Still waters, my man. Still waters."

"And to be fair, let's give credit where credit's due, he got some help from his god Dan," Taako said, bored. Magnus erupted in laughter, and Kravitz couldn't help but join in a little bit. "What's so funny?"

Magnus sputtered out a, "god, Dan!"

"God Dan it!" Merle shook his fist in the air.

"What's the joke?" Taako held out his hands, confused but not really. In on the bit. It was good that the three of them found each other, that they were all in good humor together. They were all a family even if they didn't know it.

It turned out that Julia did the bulk of the negotiation. She gave Noelle a little more time on the planet and would take Maureen in. Lucas was off the hook as long as he didn't do more necromancy (to Kravitz' dismay, although Magnus assured him he _would_ kill him if they ever crossed paths again). There wasn't anything else to be done with Magnus, Merle, or Taako--their bounties were cleared a decade ago. They had no clue they ever had bounties on them.

"Alright, I guess...that's all there is to it." Kravitz couldn't help but feel a little disappointed. This was it? All he'd ever see of Taako again? It was best if their work didn't cross again, because it meant Taako wasn't in a lot of danger, but...this was a good mission. With him. Even if he didn't know it. "We'll take Maureen back and check on Legion in the Stockade."

"Will I ever see you again?" Magnus asked, eyes on Julia.

"Depends on if your boss lets you, I guess?" She shrugged, spoke quietly as if the Director was right behind them, listening in. "I don't know how that'll work. You said she hates us."

"But..." Magnus squeezed her hands. "What if you just--stayed here?"

"I mean, I can't...Magnus, I can--" Julia shook her head in frustration. "I work for the Raven Queen now, and. That's not really going to stop, since, she's kind of powering me? I can't just quit. I can move between the Astral and the Material plane as much as I want, but I can't stop working for her."

"So I can't ever see you?"

"I can visit you, that's not--there aren't any rules against that on my end, I just..." She looked behind her, to Merle and Taako, just a tiny bit of suspicion. "I don't know who you're working for, why they hate us so much. Why they think we're the ones that did all this." For the first time since she was taken into this job, Julia looked sad about her own death. "All I did was die."

"Then visit me."

"What about the Di--"

"It could be, um." Magnus shuffled his feet, leaned in close and whispered just so Julia could hear. "In secret. If you wanted."

Except, their helmets had some kind of sound amplification and Taako _absolutely_ heard him. "Hold on, you want to smuggle your dead wife into our fuckin' dorm?"

Kravitz didn't want to break this intimate moment, but that caught him off guard. "You live _in a dorm?"_

"Yeah, uh, on the moon." Taako leaned closer to Kravitz' robot body and pointed upwards. "We live on the moon. A fake moon."

"The _moo--"_   Oh. So there _was_ only one moon. Fuck. He should have paid more attention to the moons. But who would be suspicious of the _moon,_ especially a person that had been to hundreds of realities, with different numbers of moons on every planet? "Of course you do."

"Can I do that? Is that--is that good?" Magnus addressed Merle and Taako, pleading. "Please, guys, it's--this is my wife."

Taako and Merle looked to each other, a hundred words communicated just with the atmosphere and their expressions. People who didn't know each other as well as the three of them couldn't do that, communication was hard, but it seemed like Fisher couldn't erase the hundred-year bond they all shared. Eventually, Taako let out a huff.

"There are, uh, some anti-death wards in our room but I think we can figure out how to disable them." He knit his brows together as he thought up exactly _how_ this would be accomplished. "I _think."_

Julia brought Magnus' attention back to her. "You're really okay with going behind your boss' back like this?"

"I'd do anything for you, Julia." He cupped her face, and Kravitz knew that face--the look of someone that had their most beloved person in front of them. He'd seen it in Barry, and Lup, and with Taako (but at a different angle--it felt so much better when that look was directed at him).

"And, honestly, if there's something fucky going on with the voidfish--" Taako was desperate to break the tension, the schmoopy reunion that took center stage. "--a reason we're hearing _more_ static, then, that's probably worth investigating, so, if you've got to--write off a business expense to, uh, pop in--"

"That's true, shit, you're right--" The spark came back into Julia's eye. "We have a lot of questions about your organization and the voidfish."

"And your boss," Kravitz added.

Taako turned suspicious once more. "Lots of fuckin' strategy talk you want to do, huh."

"Don't worry, I promise we won't take over your weird moonbase, we just." Kravitz couldn't think of a way to say any of this without coming across as totally evil and an enemy. "Have a few things we're trying to do."

"Like destroy the world?" Magnus asked.

Julia kicked him lightly in the shin. "Magnus, do you really think I'd try to do that?"

"Well, not _you."_ Magnus turned sweet again, insufferably affectionate. "I don't, uh, know your coworkers that well."

"Barry's a sweetheart," Julia stressed, somehow able to keep it all business even with Magnus holding her.

"And that guy?" He shot another look at Kravitz.

"Oh, he's an asshole." Julia stifled a giggle. "But he's alright."

"We'll keep in touch, okay?" Kravitz' robot form couldn't stand up to leave, but he knew their meeting was winding down fast. They had to get back to the Director, apparently, and (for some reason) she wouldn't be happy if she found out they'd been speaking with multiple agents of the Raven Queen. "When both our schedules line up we'll give you a ring."

"Sounds like a plan," Merle said, and winked.

"Hey, wait--" Julia looked around the room. "The crystals aren't growing anymore."

"Yeah?" Magnus watched the ceiling, dazed.

"Take your helmet off," she said. Magnus did not take off his helmet, but he did press a button that opened up the front. Julia grabbed him by both sides of the helmet and kissed him, lingering there for just long enough for everyone else in the room to feel horribly awkward, and then pulled out of the helmet. "I love you."

"Love you too." Magnus beamed, held her closer at the waist. "You promise you're not evil now?"

"The same amount of evil I've always been."

"Fair enough." They both laughed, didn't care that all eyes were on them. As far as either of them were concerned, they were the only two in the lab. Magnus hugged her. "I'm glad you're back."

"Glad I found you again," she muttered. "Even if you ate the magic rock." Magnus kissed her a couple more times and she laughed, pushed him away. "Okay, okay, _okay--_ I have to go back to work, y'know."

"Alright, uh--" He held both of her hands. "You're coming back?"

"Hell yeah."

"Good." Magnus kissed her one more time and let her go. Julia walked over to Kravitz' broken robot body and summoned her scythe.

"Alright, Maureen, let's get out of here," she said. Kravitz ejected himself out of the robot body to follow Julia.

"Yes." Maureen waved at her son, the fuse box in her torso flickering softly. "I--I'll see you later."

Julia cut a rift back into the Astral plane and Maureen walked through without any issue. Julia waved and followed suit. Kravitz stayed for a moment. Let himself take one last look at Taako, with Lup's umbrella. He was okay. He was fine. He had friends and a good place to sleep and a steady income. Kravitz didn't know who this Director was, if she was thralled or if something worse happened, but at least Taako was okay there. He could deal with everything else later as long as Taako was safe. Magnus and Merle, too. The only missing pieces were Lup and Davenport and Lucretia, and Kravitz had a feeling that if he kept investigating the Director, he'd find them too. He was comfortable leaving them be as long as they stuck together.

Kravitz left through the portal last.

"Wait! _Wait!"_ Merle's voice carried through the rift. "Aw."

"Wh--sorry, what?" Kravitz popped back in, curious.

Merle lit up, like he wasn't expecting anyone to come back after his calls. "Ah--how's Elvis?"

"Mmmmm--still alive." Kravitz spoke quickly, warmed from one of Merle's stupid fucking jokes. He really needed that. "Themysterycontinues, bye!"

And then he let them be.

* * *

Their "dorm," which was more of an apartment, was a lot nicer than Kravitz expected.

They had a full kitchen, and a common room, and their own separate bedrooms. Two bathrooms. Decorated with a few simple wooden carvings from Magnus and a whole lot of mess from Merle and Taako. None of them were very organized, so this wasn't all that surprising. Looked like all the appliances were farther advanced scientifically than the rest of the planet. Almost Starblaster-level technology, like Lucas' lab. The floor was a window that looked out to the planet below. This was covered with a rug. Kravitz thought this was a shame, that their appreciation of spaceflight was taken away along with the rest of their memories. Magnus and Julia refused to take eyes off each other, as if they were both afraid they would disappear if they blinked.

Merle convinced Taako to take the ring off, and Kravitz was able to sit _next_ to him on the couch. He tried not to stare or be weird. Just existing closer to him was enough. Merle handed Barry a ginger ale without any prompting. Seemed like a few things were just muscle memory.

"So." Taako eyed all of the bounty hunters. He was trying to figure out something in his head, but it wouldn't connect all the way through. Fisher made sure of that. "How can you make that scratchy noise?"

"Well, Fisher--" Kravitz paused when the trio tensed up from the ear sensation the name gave them. "I. Um. Guess you call them the voidfish?"

"Voidfish, yeah." Magnus nodded.

"Well, we've both known the voidfish for a very long time." Kravitz gestured between him and Barry, who waved nervously like he hadn't been there for the whole conversation. "They can't block out anything to the dead, you know."

Merle considered this for a moment. "Do you know Lucinda?"

"Lucretia," Magnus corrected.

"Lucretia's here?" Barry straightened up in his seat, alert, almost spilled his ginger ale all over the floor. "We--haven't been able to find her, we've been looking for her for...years. Is she alright?"

"Uh, yeah?" Taako leaned back into the couch and his leg bumped into Kravitz', and _god damn it, Kravitz, don't be creepy._   This was for business. "Runs this whole gig. Actually hates it when we call her Lucretia, she's, uh, the Director."

Barry and Kravitz shared a look, but Julia was the only one able to formulate a thought into words after that. "Wait, wasn't the Director the one who didn't want you to speak to us?"

"Yeah. She--" Taako spun his finger in the air lazily. "This, uh, place? We're collecting the Grand Relics, which, apparently were magic items made by Death to kill a lot of people?"

"And that you're super evil," Merle added.

"Oh, yeah, like, super villain levels, for sure."

"That's what she told you?" Kravitz didn't even try to hide the heartbreak behind his voice. He had no idea why Lucretia would do that. They always assumed she wasn't part of the equation, or that she was kidnapped and forced to do this. But as much as Kravitz didn't want to think about it, it made sense. She had access to the wards. And the journals. And Fisher. And she was locked in her room for months before it happened. It all made...sense. Even if Kravitz didn't like that.

They'd have to have a long talk once they found her.

The three boys exchanged a few suspicious looks. Eventually, Magnus leaned forward, curious. "...Is that wrong?"

Kravitz shook his head. "I didn't make any of them."

"I've never even touched the things," Julia said.

Barry just nodded along. Didn't want to outright lie to the three of them.

Taako watched them for a few more seconds and then turned a lazy eye to Merle. "They, uh, they failed the Zone, right?"

"You put up a Zone of Truth?" Kravitz blinked and then looked around him. There was a slight magical tint there that he hadn't noticed before. He probably _would_ have noticed it if Taako wasn't there.

"Okay, the hot one is also the oblivious one, cool beans," Taako said, arms crossed and painfully casual.

Kravitz' brain fried in an instant, all logical thought thrown out. "The hot one?" he asked, vaguely aware of how horribly his voice cracked on the words.

Julia kicked the coffee table and jostled Kravitz back to attention. "You can flirt with my boss later, we're doing business." 

"I wasn't flirting, it's just an ob--objective fact." Taako gestured up and down Kravitz. Stated this as if it was just the weather, and not _whatever the fuck this was._ "Thought you were still operating by weird greatest desire rules, y'know, with Magnus' wife and--uh, just kind of assumed Dad Jeans over there was Merle's type--"

Barry spilled out the entire can of ginger ale onto his lap and coughed. Merle looked him up and down and just winked, which was worse than anything he could conceivably say.

"--and that just leaves you just as a hot dude, which, obviously is my type because I have good taste and standards."

He couldn't take this. Or. He _could,_ if it was just him and Taako alone. Kravitz was never good with flirting when other people were around. He also wasn't good with flirting with _new_ people, and normally stumbled over himself trying to be smooth when Taako could remember him. He'd probably be able to make a move on Taako since he had his memories, but--no, that would be dishonest. Kravitz had the chance to tell Taako he was okay with dating him without memories, but Taako gave him no such permission. They hadn't ever thought this would happen. Unless Taako slammed him over the head with his intention to date him, Kravitz would keep his hands off. This was for business. This was for _business. This was for--_

It took Kravitz a solid minute to realize he hadn't said anything and everyone in the room stared at him.

That Taako stared at him.

That Taako stared at him _with interest._

"We aren't doing any greatest desire illusions, Julia is real and Barry is a coworker," he finally sputtered out, buried those thoughts of Taako deep down.

"And your brother," Barry added.

Kravitz smiled. "In-law."

"Yeah, uh-huh..." Taako-- _holy shit, Taako was checking him out._ What the fuck. What the _fuck._ "So, uh, which--which one's the one that's, uh, married? Which one of you is that?"

Normally, Kravitz ran cold, but his whole face flared up in an instant.

It wasn't like he could _do_ anything about it, as tempting as it was. Taako did not know him and Taako worked for an organization that thought Kravitz was evil (an organization run by Lucretia, but Kravitz still hadn't fully processed that). At the very least, Taako was safe, and that's all Kravitz needed to know. He'd finish out this report with Barry and Julia, turn his attention to figure out what the fuck was up with Lucretia, and leave Taako in peace. It was nice to know that even with his memory wiped, Taako was into him, but that's all it was. A nice fact. Something he'd hopefully laugh over with Taako once he got his memories back.

"It's kind of complicated." Barry grew a very wide and very evil grin. "Kravitz is _very_   single, though."

Right, great. Wonderful. Kravitz' face went right into his hands. _"Barry."_

"Again, as funny as this is, we do need to figure out what the fuck's going on." Julia cracked one more smile in good humor before diving deep into business. "Where's this voidfish of yours?"

"Ahh, hm, hold on," Taako said, finger waggling back and forth like a metronome, "ground rules. We're exchanging information here, sure, but you're not getting any Bureau secrets." He glared at Julia. "You're still on thin fuckin' ice, and I'm gonna need more than, like, a day of knowing you to, uh, give that up."

"Sure." Julia nodded once. She knew when to fight and when to back off in negotiations like these. It helped that Kravitz babbled on about Taako for hours to her when they took the time to talk about their partners. "But you use the voidfish to block out the memories of the relics?"

"It's something about keeping the peace on the surface." Magnus' face scrunched up in uncertainty. "I, uh, don't know how cool that is, because a lot of people still die, and they didn't ask to forget this all--"

Kravitz nodded. "It's better than the alternative."

"With a lot of sacrifices, sure," Barry said, strained.

"Sorry, Barry." Shit. He didn't mean it like that.

That did grab the attention of the other three, though. "What's up with that?"

"Oh, uh, his wife is lost on the surface and alive, so we can't find her." Kravitz spoke quickly to get it over and done with. Didn't want to talk about this for too long in front of Barry. "She forgot him."

"Wow, sucks." Taako crossed his legs and feigned indifference, but Kraviz could see where the genuine concern seeped through. "Hate to be in that fuckin' position."

He wanted to say _I'm in the same position,_ to say that it wasn't just Barry's problem, but that would cause a lot of unnecessary confusion. So he stayed silent.

"So, uh, we drank the voidfish piss, but we still can't, uh, understand you," Taako said, graciously changing the subject at Barry's discomfort.

"I'm sorry, you drank Fis--" Barry shook his head, knew they wouldn't understand him. "--uh, the voidfish's piss?"

Merle flashed an unsettling grin. "Yeah, the water it swims in."

"Did you drink it? Is that why you can understand us?" Magnus asked.

"No, we're dead, the static doesn't work on us." Barry flipped through his notebook, and Kravitz could see him going through accounts of static they'd run into before, when they tried to describe relics to locals. "But if you can understand F--the voidfish, then why can't you understand when we say other things? It's not like the erasing is selective."

Magnus sat up straighter. "It didn't do that before?"

"They either ate it or didn't, or they blasted all the information into the whole world's brains."  Barry bit on the end of his pen, at the same time intrigued and deeply unsettled."Didn't pick and choose."

"Huh."  

A tense silence dropped over the room. Nobody knew what to say or how to fix this. Kravitz assumed they'd run into some snags, but not this soon. Barry asked a couple more questions about the voidfish, got some elementary answers about what it looked like and how it operated. They were definitely talking about the same creature, but that was the only bit of information Kravitz could count on. They bounced off a few ideas, but nothing stuck. Everyone was out of their league. He knew it would be hard to speak to the three of them without their memories, but it proved to be impossible. Frustratingly so.

But they did end up with some information about this Bureau of Balance. Their mission was to collect and destroy the Grand Relics, and they'd gotten a few already. They had two bracers, one that was permanently affixed to their arms and one that could be removed. The removable one operated the same as Taako's ring, emanating holy magic and repelling the undead away. The moon base had wards similar to the ones they could turn on and off on the Starblaster, for the years Kravitz tracked them down. Lucretia probably had them installed so that Barry and Kravitz couldn't--what? Stop her? Speak to her? Kravitz had no idea what he did to get on her bad side.

Magnus, Merle, and Taako got jumpy after all the questions about how the moon base worked, so Kravitz backed off of that. Asked about the voidfish again, since they were just as curious about that as he was. It produced nearly the same results. More static. No explanations. Completely frustrating.

"Do you think there's, uh." Magnus snapped his fingers in the air a few times, trying to come up with the right words. "A second voidfish?"

"I don't know how that would be possible, but..." Barry shuffled through his notes, considering this new information. "It'd explain a few things."

"What do you mean, it's not possible?" Taako looked over and tried to read Barry's notes. "Oh, gross, the paper's static, too..."

"There was only one voidfish, and it's not, um." Barry stammered, tried to find the words that wouldn't result in static from the other three. "It's not, um, from here. It's the only one."

The room fell into another dead silence. Kravitz couldn't think of anything else to ask, as much as he wanted to stay. As much as he wanted every answer. What the fuck was going on with Lucretia? Was she thralled? How did she get another voidfish? But the more he thought, the more he realized that these three didn't know the answers at all. They were participants but had no say in how any of this operated. It would be a good idea to keep tabs on them, of course, but the three of them weren't of any further use to the investigation at that point.

"Seems like that's a dead end, then," Julia said with a frustrated groan.

Magnus slumped his shoulders. "Sorry."

"No! No, it's fine, I just--" Julia put her hands in her lap, more disappointed that the conversation was over than the fact that they didn't get any information out of it. "We don't have much to talk about anymore. Between us."

"If it's alright, we're going to try and continue to investigate this." Kravitz stood from the couch and summoned his scythe. "Contact us if you have any other information, but other than that, we've got a handle on it."

Barry followed suit, but Julia stayed right up next to Magnus. "Can I visit again? Like, not for work."

"Can she?" Magnus snapped his head to Merle and Taako, his hand squeezing Julia's so hard it would cut off circulation if she were living. "Please, I--if anything bad happens, I'll take full responsibility, I just--haven't--"

"No, it's fine." Taako waved his hand in the air. "We'll just keep the wards down."

Merle frowned, his beard and mustache scrunching up. "What, just like that?"

"If you wanna be the one to tell Mister Meatshield not to do something, then be my guest."

"Alright, fine," Merle said, but he didn't look much like he cared.

"Thank you." Julia smiled at both of the other boys, and then turned her attention back to Magnus. "Do you have a stone?"

"Yeah! Yeah, hold on, let's...exchange frequencies." Magnus dug his stone out of his pocket and held it out to Julia. "And, uh, you can come over whenever you...uh, can you detect to see if I'm here? Does it work like that?"

Julia couldn't stop grinning. "It absolutely works like that."

"Then, if I'm here, don't even call." Magnus moved a strand of hair behind her ear and kissed her once. Nothing too intimate, since there was a whole room full of people watching, but just enough to get the feeling across. Julia held him tight, not wanting to let go.

"Julia, why don't you take the rest of the night off?" Kravitz couldn't stand separating a reunion like this. "Barry and I will take care of the loose ends here."

"Really?"

"Of course. I couldn't ask you to work when you just found your husband."

"Thanks! I'll, um. I'll do that." Julia smiled and nodded as thanks. Kravitz had the feeling he'd get some gossip out of her later. "Uh, Mags, I--"

Magnus crashed his lips against her again, this time a lot less safe for public viewing. Julia did not mind at all, just as pent up as he seemed to be. Kravitz _did_ look away for that one. Both because he thought they wanted privacy and _oh no, that was his coworker and friend._

"Come on," he said, pulling away from her just enough to speak, "come on, come on, let's--I--there's so much I need to tell you. We need to catch up."

"Yeah, yeah, definitely, I--I missed you so much." Julia took a moment to breathe, even though she didn't need it. Then, her smile grew into a much more sinister grin. "You've...got a _private_ room, right?"

"Oh _hell_ no, Magnus, you better learn some fuckin' silencing magic if you're going to do _anything_ in this dorm," Taako said, distressed and harried. Didn't like the idea of thinking about anyone other than him having sex, for some reason. Kravitz never really understood that. Maybe it was because he thought of Magnus as family. "At _least_ lock your fucking doors."

Magnus huffed once. "I'm going to lock up! Who do you think I am?"

"Hey, uh, Kravitz..." Julia clicked her teeth and looked Magnus up and down. "Does, uh, like, _everything_ with a constructed body work?"

Taako slammed his arm on the arm of the couch and ran off. _"I'm going to my room!"_  

"It all works, Julia, you should be fine." Kravitz covered his grin, but was unable to hold back the snickering that escaped out of him. "And the good news is you won't be, uh. You know. _At risk_ for, um, unexpected..."

Julia lit up, spoke loud enough for Taako to hear. "Oh, so it's cool to go bareback?"

_"I'M IN HELL."_

Kravitz wiped a few tears that squeaked by from all that laughter. "Yes, you're dead, there's no real...risk of that."

"We don't, uh, have that issue between the two of us anyway, but." Magnus hoisted Julia up into his arms and ran off towards one of the rooms in the back. She laughed and kissed him as they disappeared through the door. "Good to know!"

_"CAN THE TWO OF YOU COOL IT?"_

Merle held his palms out, eyes locked on Kravitz. "Wait, are you talking about fucking?"

_"MERLE."_

"We really do have some work to do," Kravitz said, past all of his giggling, "but we'll keep in touch."

"Alright, that works," Merle said, the only one left in the room to send them off.

Barry cut a rift and Kravitz walked through. Taako was just fine here, he thought, and was okay leaving them all be unless something else came up. After all, what more trouble could they get into? It wasn't like their jobs would cross paths again. Worst case scenario, they would all die a dozen more times and Kravitz would have to reopen their bounties. But there wasn't any chance of that. They were safe, even if their line of work was a little iffy. There was no reason for him to see them again unless they needed more information about Fisher.

* * *

Kravitz just needed a report for the Queen.

It wasn't a big deal.

Julia could have done it. She'd done missions like this before, small ones. It wasn't meant to be hard at all. She could get the information from Magnus with absolutely no problems and spend the rest of the evening with him. But she shook her head and laughed, exchanged a few glances with Barry, and insisted that she couldn't do it alone and it was too small of a job for _two_ of them to do it. And Barry was even less subtle. He claimed he broke his arm and couldn't go, but he waved both arms in the air. Also if he really broke his arm his construct should have been resting.

But.

It was an easy enough job.

He couldn't get anywhere else on the moon base because of the wards, so he transported to their dorm. Magnus consistently let the wards down in their apartment so Julia could visit on her off time. Nobody was home, so Kravitz made himself comfortable on the couch. They must have been off training or something, he figured he could speak to them when they returned.

After an hour or so, he heard the elevator's mechanisms whir. The exterior door opened, but only one set of footsteps walked through. Kravitz barely registered that, was too bent on getting his job done. The person had their hand on the coat rack and their back to Kravitz.

Kravitz stood and met eyes with them when they turned to settle into the dorm. "We're going to have to have another talk, aren't w--"

It was Taako.

 _Just_ Taako.

Kravitz had been able to hold himself together in the crystal lab. He pushed those thoughts out of his brain when they met a second time, but just barely. But now they were alone for the first time in a decade. Sure, Taako didn't know who he was and they were technically enemies. That didn't make any of this easier on Kravitz. He didn't say anything more, just kind of. Stood there. Eyes on Taako. He had sand in his hair and scrapes all over his legs, mussed up hair and two silver bracers. Right, the one on his non-dominant hand also pumped out holy energy. Kravitz stayed cautious and took a few steps back, but still watched Taako.

"Did I break you?" Taako asked, unsure. That was fair, Kravitz was just sort of staring at him like an idiot.

"No! No, uh, not even, not even a little bit, I--" Kravitz coughed and focused himself. Taako had to act like he didn't know Kravitz a hundred times, he could do it once. How hard could it be? He figured he could keep it professional and get through this quick. "You've died eleven times."

"Oh." Taako smiled and tilted his head to the side, and _god damn that was cute, how the **fuck** did Kravitz forget that?_  "Is that a problem?"

"A little bit." Kravitz took a closer look at Taako and saw the blood on his cloak, the bruises on his arms, the sand in his everything. Was it weird for him to look worried? It probably wasn't. Even if they were strangers, a normal person would take notice of these things. But Kravitz was an agent of death that was supposedly here for business. "Though, you look like you're about to die right now, can I--is there anything you need?"

"Wasn't really expecting that one." Taako walked towards the kitchenette. Kravitz felt the holy aura creep closer and scurried backwards before it could burn him. Taako blinked, confused and concerned. "Hey, hey, what's with the running?"

Kravitz gestured towards Taako's arms. "You're wearing your bracer and that ring."

"Right." Taako hesitated, but removed his bracer and the ring. Both sat innocently on the table, inactive. "Just thought you were allergic to me."

"I could never be," he said under his breath, and then realized how fucking creepy that would be to say to a stranger. Kravitz moved over to the kitchen and spoke louder, hoped that Taako didn't hear his earlier outburst. Didn't want to scare him off like this. "I--I mean, uh, it's just. The radiant aura." Kravitz couldn't help but steal a look at the ring. No tarnish at all. No imperfections. Just like the day he gave it to him. Even when he didn't know what it meant, Taako took care of it. "The ring looks very important. Where did you get it?"

"Not sure, I get a lot of things a lot of places." Taako shrugged, didn't care to pay any attention to the ring. "I probably looted it off of some dead guy."

"That's a safe bet," Kravitz said, and forced himself to hold back the laugh that threatened to bubble up from his own inside joke. He hoped Taako would find it funny whenever he came to his senses.

"So what is this?" Taako gestured at Kravitz' reaper regalia. He didn't look afraid, just confused. "You taking me to jail or something?"

"We'll have to see, won't we?" Kravitz summoned his book and a quill, ready to write down Taako's accounts of the situation so he could form a report. "I just need an account on why you and a couple hundred people acquired so many deaths in such a small amount of time."

"Hoo-kay, that's, uh..." Taako hung his umbrella on one of the counter knobs. He looked a lot more willing to speak to Kravitz now that they were alone and he had extended amounts of time with Julia. Death wasn't an enemy anymore. "A long story? You might want to sit back for this one." He opened the fridge. "Do you drink?"

"Do you mean that as, can I physically drink, or do I enjoy alcohol?"

"Fair enough." Taako peeked at him from behind the fridge door. "I'd like the answer to both."

"The answer to both is yes." Kravitz took a leap and sat down at the kitchenette bar. Taako invited him for a drink, so he assumed he was welcome. "Although I can't actually get drunk."

"You like booze but you can't--alright, that's weird." Taako grabbed a bottle from the fridge and two glasses from the sink _(god,_ Kravitz hoped those were clean) and used magic to uncork the bottle.

"I like the taste of wine and some mixed drinks." Kravitz stared at the label, and it seemed like this wine was made on the moon base. "I'll take anything, though."

"Cool, 'cause this is going to need a lot of wine," he said, and poured a _lot_ of wine into his own glass. Nearly up to the rim.

"Good wine, or long day?"

"Both." Taako filled Kravitz' glass slightly less than his own. Still more than a wine glass should be filled, but not as comically as Taako's was. "Well--not true. Good wine as in, it's cheap and it gets the job done, I'm not a--a sommelier." He slid the glass across the counter. "I mean, like, if it's _good,_ I'm not--turning it down or anything, but, I'm not picky with it. You can, uh, have a good palate and still drink garbage, those aren't mutu--mutually exclusive."

Kravitz nodded and took his glass. "It smells nice," he said, even though it kind of smelled like toilet water.

"Our, uh, old roommate Pringles made it," he said, and swirled his glass around--dangerous, Kravitz thought. He almost spilled the whole thing. "It's supposed to really fuck you up, 'cause, we're not strictly _supposed_ to have alcohol in the same place where we launch glass balls, but, uh--" Taako fumbled for his glass. Almost dropped it, but saved at the last second. Kravitz watched his every move, entranced by the fluidity of his motions.

"Oh, shit, I just had a--I think Pringles went to jail fo--for moonshine crimes."

Kravitz winced. He knew Barry got one of the Bureau members in jail after an investigation that forced him to possess someone.

"Anyway, uh. Back it up. It's supposed to fuck you up, 'cause Pringles, he--made a lot of weird potions and shit, so, who knows what this does." Taako stared into the glass. "I stole a bunch'a his bottles after he, uh, got _got,_ y'know. He didn't make a lot a' wine, but, uh, this was some kind of plan to..." His nose wrinkled up. "Plant these in the moon base's Chug n' Squeeze to get everyone fucked up? I think? But you should be fine, since, alcohol doesn't, uh, do nothin' to you."

Kravitz held his chin in his hands as he listened to Taako's story. He went on a lot of tangents and never actually got to the point, but it was just. Nice to watch. Taako was always so animated, very alive, and it was one of his favorite parts of him. How he moved when he spoke. The way his hands went everywhere. How exaggerated he let his expressions become.

"I know I've got a face for TV, but, uh, you're doing a lot of staring," Taako said, his nerves lining the edge of every word.

"Sorry." Kravitz snapped his eyes to the floor. _Dumb._ He thought he had that tied down. "I'm sure you're used to it."

"Not like the way you're doing it." 

"I'll pull myself together, sorry." Kravitz took a big swig of his wine to distract himself. "This is a business meeting."

"I mean, it's cool, I'm just..." Taako drained his glass to the point where a normal person would fill the glass. Instead of leaving it there, though, he refilled it back to the top. "It's been a while out here, y'know?"

"It's...been a while for me, too." Ten years. Not that Kravitz was looking for others in that time. He wondered if Taako dated in the past decade. He wouldn't hold it against him. People have needs, and Kravitz physically couldn't be there. "But I really do need to get this story down, this isn't...anything more than that."

An evil grin settled on Taako's face. "Would my chances be better if it was?"

"No." Kravitz didn't even want to entertain that. It was one of the few things he didn't care to joke about. "I don't let people fuck their way out of the Stockade, Taako."

"Can't say I'm surprised." He took another long swig. "You seem like you care about shit like _the rules."_

"That's not it, I just don't want to take advantage of anyone like that."

"What about after the case is closed?"

All of Kravitz' thoughts dropped out of his skull. "What?"

"Like, when the conflict of interest is gone, is all this fair game?" Taako gestured around Kravitz, that sly smile still plastered on his face.

Kravitz could _feel_ the heat on his own face. "Why don't we talk about that after we get your team situated?"

"Right, fair enough." Taako slammed his glass on the counter and a couple droplets of wine splattered on the counter. "Okay, so listen to this sh--"

Uh oh. Oh no. Kravitz felt a tugging at his soul. Not the same one as the tug that Taako had on him, but one that was familiar far before the Hunger was even a thought. "Oh. Shit, this is embarrassing."

"What?"

"I'm, um, getting called on another job." Kravitz hurriedly moved off of the barstool. After a moment's thought, he slammed back the rest of the wine like this was some kind of drinking contest. "I will still need your account later, how do you want to...?"

Taako rummaged through his robe for a stone of farspeech. "You've got a stone?"

 _"Yes!"_ A direct line of contact to Taako? Hell yes. He froze, though, embarrassed that he said that out loud. He reached for the stone in his robe. "I mean, um, yes. Yes, I do. Let me--"

"Dude, chill," he said, although he did seem flattered by the enthusiasm.

"Right." Kravitz and Taako touched their stones together to exchange frequencies. It only took a second. Kravitz felt another insistent tug on the edge of his consciousness and knew his Queen needed him. "I'll call you?"

His grin turned wider, more teasing. "You worried I won't call you first?"

"No, my schedule is just...strange."

"Lots of things about you are strange."

"I can't argue with that." Kravitz looked Taako over and saw the poorly-masked anxiety that he developed ever since they touched their stones together. "Would you rather be the one to call?"

"Actually, yeah." Taako slipped his stone back into his robe. "That cool?"

"Of course." Kravitz summoned his scythe and cut a rift into the Queen's chambers. "If I don't pick up the first time, try in a couple hours. I might be on a job."

"Will do." Taako emptied his wine glass and gave Kravitz one last once-over with his eyes. "It was Kravitz?"

"Kravitz, yeah."

"Alright." Taako pushed him towards the portal, and didn't even give Kravitz time to freak out from the contact. "Go do your thing."

"See you later," he said, voice broken, and went to finish out a job.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i had all the episode transcripts open in different tabs during this one, folks. some of the dialogue is the same and some changed with the addition of two new reapers! can YOU spot the difference? a bunch of fights got skipped, that's for sure. that's what happens when you make the main villain kiss one of the player characters
> 
> happy new year, everyone! not yet. but. soon. hope this next year is better than this year!!
> 
> next time: oh boy. oh BOY. :)


	24. In Faerun, As Friends

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Kravitz goes on a date, and then another one, and then another one.

Taako called him the next day.

Wanted to meet him off planet. The wards on the whole base were strong, and Taako didn't want their conversation to get interrupted by Magnus or Merle. Kravitz wondered why he wanted to have this conversation alone, but that only led him to conclusions he wasn't particularly ready for. It wasn't a big deal, he told himself over and over again as he triple checked the meeting time. No, nothing special, he said as he conjured the nicest outfit he could think up. _I AM NOT GOING TO DATE TAAKO_ , he screamed as he changed his hair in the mirror.

"Not really an outfit for throwing clay, my dude," Taako said at first sight. Even in a weird looking smock and a tattered wizard's hat, he was a vision. Umbrella still at his side, because of course it was.

"Throwing clay?" Kravitz assumed people would do different things for fun on this new planet, but didn't know that _throwing clay_ was a part of that. Taako pointed to a building across the street. Beat up bricks, a little rowdy hole in the wall. Large windows that showed potter's wheels and a long bar. And the sign--

"This place is called the--" Kravitz sputtered and tripped over himself. "The _Knead and Gulp?"_

"One a' those wine and pottery places. This one's not the fancy type or anything, but should be fun. Wanted to take you to the Chug n' Squeeze up on the base, but." Taako smiled and tapped Kravitz' shin with the umbrella. "I'm _aware_ of your moon allergies."

"Thank you." Kravitz walked inside with him, leaving enough space between them for the Raven Queen. "It still seems like an unconventional place to have an argument about sort of the fate of a whole, sort of small community but...I do like wine, so..."

Taako walked up to the bar and signaled the bartender for a bottle of wine. "Mhmm, you told me that."

Kravitz didn't know what to say. This was all new again, and new meant _awkward._ At least, on his end. It wasn't until they both set up and settled behind potter's wheels before Kravitz found his voice again. "Not as skilled with crafts, though, I have to say."

"I can more than make up for it." Taako dumped a mound of clay onto his wheel and winked. "Watch this."

Taako went to fucking town, hands and clay moving so fast they blurred. He was showing off, Kravitz realized--although he didn't mind. He'd gladly sit and watch Taako enjoy himself. He wasn't sure when Taako picked up pottery as a skill. Maybe a year when Kravitz hunted him, or before he even step foot on the ship. He once saw him craft a false Light of Creation and he made his own casting glaive, so he knew he was extremely well-versed in crafts. So many years together, and Kravitz still learned new things about Taako. He put his hand down flat in the middle of the clay and it dipped, depressed itself into a concave shape. Taako brought the sides up to make it a bowl. It was still misshapen and uneven, but he ran hands along all the imperfections once he had the basic shape down.

"Hey, it's vase day!" The instructor barked at the two as they walked past. "It's Cab and Vase! No bowls!"

"Let me reshape it," he said, and made the motions to shape the clay into a vase. As soon as the instructor left their sight, Taako flattened the clay again. He muttered something about not chaining his muse under his breath, and got back to work restoring what the instructor made him change.

Kravitz laughed, lost himself in Taako's antics. "I like your renegade spirit, there."

Taako's ears pinned to the side of his head. It could have been the weird lighting in the Knead and Gulp, but his face looked a few shades darker.

Before Kravitz could ask too many questions about the case, Taako stopped him and went on an entire rant about edge cases. If this were any other bounty, Kravitz wouldn't have the patience for this. But he found himself lost in Taako's voice, the insane explanation, the distracting fling of his hands through the clay. Taako's explanations about edge cases didn't do too much for Kravitz, since his whole _job_ was to work with edge cases, but he didn't bother to interrupt. He couldn't even if he wanted to.

But then, he realized Taako had a look leveled at him, waiting for some kind of answer. Kravitz stumbled to recover.

"I mean...you explained it to me last time we talked, sort of, what you all are doing here, and it sounds very--" Kravitz couldn't just _outright insult_ Taako's boss-- _Lucretia_ \--and have them keep being friendly, so he resigned himself to stay neutral. "--it sounds very important, but the fact that I've visited you as much as I have means this line of work is just preposterously dangerous."  Kravitz frowned. Sure, he couldn't come up with a reason why Lucretia did all this, but he didn't even have _theories_ for why Taako, the man that whined whenever he performed a task as dangerous as crossing the street (even though he was capable of so much more), would willingly take a job like this. "So, why are you doing this, Taako? Why aren't you doing a--a safer career?"

Taako considered this, and let his hands run over the clay of his bowl. The edges wavered, but never got too out of place before Taako reshaped them. He kept his eyes on the bowl as he muttered, "because I'm worried no one else will have me."

No. _No,_ that was--that was wrong. Taako had no idea how wrong he was, but he was _dead wrong._ He could list seven people right off the bat that would have Taako, most importantly Lup, as missing as she was. But also-- _him!_ Right here! How tempting it was to just fucking murder Taako in the middle of this wine and pottery establishment. He could get Taako a job with the Raven Queen, right? Or he could hang out with Istus. He needed to remember everyone that ever loved him, everyone he cared for.

But then he remembered that he promised Lup and others in the crew (and Taako himself, multiple times) that he would never harm Taako again. He couldn't bear to. All he could do was stew in the heartbreak Taako's admission caused.

"Wow, that was...a very honest answer," Kravitz choked out, "I'm a bit shocked."

"Well, I mean, that's the truth." Taako ran his thumb along the edge of the bowl to make a lip. "If I can't be honest at the Knead and Gulp, then I--frankly, my man, I don't know where I can. What else am I gonna do?" He dipped his hand in a pot of slip and took one more pass over the bowl, smoothed out the rest of the imperfections. "As far as anybody else knows, my career as a chef is over. Nobody wants an adventurer who's got as little experience as I'd have, going in. I can't tell any--I can't put this on my _resume,_ it'll look like scribbles! So that's out." Taako laughed and stopped his wheel. He grabbed a wet towel and wiped off his hands as he let the clay settle. "I don't have a lot of job prospects on that front. So here I am."

"I can certainly understand that." Kravitz looked at his lump of clay and felt guilty for ignoring it. He also wanted to impress Taako with a cool looking vase. Couldn't make a fool of himself. He worked in the clay as he spoke, motions clumsy and unskilled. Must have been weird to see a dude in a full suit doing pottery without any sort of clothing protection, but it wasn't like the clothing was _real._ He could get it dirty and then reform it later. "I was given a pretty...pretty difficult choice when I was faced with being--the career of being a bounty hunter for the goddess of death. And then, things sort of...dominoed from there, you know?"

Taako poured himself a glass of wine. "I'm sure you've got some crazy stories."

"Oh, tons! Too many to count." He laughed, remembered a few of those crazy stories off the top of his head. Some of them from when he first took his job. Most of them after he met Taako. "But unfortunately, you know, just...life finds a way. Or death, I guess, the goddess of death." Kravitz looked at the pot of slip Taako used and dipped his hands in it, but it only made his grip on his vase less solid.

"In this case specifically, yeah, death." Taako laughed, both at his own joke and Kravitz' poor grip on his own creation.

"Her, yeah." Kravitz smiled. If nothing else, Taako seemed to have a good time, and that was enough of a comfort. "I appreciate you being so open and honest with me, Taako. I feel like I understand where you're coming from."

"I mean, kind of hard not to, you've been laying it on pretty thick over there," he said, thoroughly entertained.

A little known quirk of having total control over every single thing in Kravitz' body made it so that when he froze, he _froze._ As if he'd been paused on a television. When he finally came back to his senses, he saw the horror on Taako's face. "I'm sorry. That's really not professional of me to, uh, act like that."

"Again, it's nothing I..." Taako looked down into the rim of his glass. "I mean, I don't hate it."

No, _nope_ , Kravitz could not entertain the thought of dating Taako any longer. Maybe if he shifted gears, Taako wouldn't tease him. "H--how much more dying do you think is going to happen, just so I know how to--sort of pitch your case to the Raven Queen?"

Taako clicked his tongue, considered the question. Took mercy on Kravitz and did not immediately launch into more questions about the spark between the two. "How much more... _us_ dying, or like, other regular dying?"

"Just like...any dying, at all." It was a normal question, right? He didn't seem too invested. This was a normal question a bounty hunter for the goddess of death would be asking. He needed to know. For. His. Report. "What's the game plan there?"

"Well, I mean, there's gonna be some." He laughed to himself. "The thing at Refuge was definitely an outlier, I don't plan to die that many times again. So that was probably--here's what I'm gonna say."

Taako scoot closer and placed his hand on Kravitz'. He took it away in a moment, before the warmth of his fiancé could seep into Kravitz' skin. Jolted backwards like the touch had electrocuted him.

"Oh boy. Oh, boy howdy, that is a clammy one." Before Kravitz could apologize, Taako had his hand of Kravitz' again. More of a surprise than an actual turn off. "Listen, if we can overlook that unpleasantness, I think you're going to find a very acceptable level of death in the days and weeks ahead." Taako leaned over to place his chin on Kravitz' shoulder, the grin evident in his voice. "That's what I'm going to say to you. A very normal, sort of corporeal, just, usual amount of death."

"Okay. I think I can--I think I can close the case on this one," Kravitz said, voice strained. God. That made it look like Taako flirted his way out of this situation, didn't it? Whatever, it's not like it mattered. Not as if someone else watched and realized they could seduce the grim reaper. He focused on shaping his bowl with Taako's hands to guide his. "The people of Refuge will be safe, obviously. You will all...there will be certain exceptions made where they need to be made, for the three of you." Kravitz laughed to himself. "The Raven Queen is actually good, good buds with Istus, so..."

"Nice!" Taako laughed too, cottoning on and understanding _exactly_ what type of buds they were.

Real gal pals.

"I understand you are now in her retinue, so--I think I can close my investigation here." Kravitz looked down at his misshapen vase and shrugged. "I guess let's just enjoy the rest of the class?"

"Hell yeah!" Taako downed the rest of his drink and pulled another (probably stolen) one from under their seats. "Let's open up another bottle and see where the evening takes us!"

 _God, that was cute._ Kravitz just wanted to take his face in his hands and kiss him breathless, but he settled for an afternoon of good conversation and cheap wine. Even without his memories, it was so _easy_ to speak to Taako. A hundred years of practice let Kravitz know when to drop a subject, when it was okay to prod further, what was a joke and what was dead serious.

It didn't occur to him until they went to fire their creations that this was a couple's night.

Thank the Queen, at least, that this pottery class was off the moon base and Taako's coworkers weren't present. But how did that detail escape him? He must have been more dense than he previously thought. Of course, Kravitz was entranced with Taako the entire time. That was a given. But Taako...he was into him, too. More subtly than Taako normally would when they were together, but it was still there.

Kravitz hadn't thought that he had a chance to date Taako again, but every sideways glance and chuckle at his not-so-funny jokes made him _want_ to ask him on another one. He'd talk himself out of it by the time anything happened, of course, but Kravitz wanted to know if he had a shot. He'd have to reject Taako out of respect for his full-memoried self, but. Some confirmation that Taako's flirting wasn't a figment of his imagination. A funny story they could all laugh over once Taako remembered.

They stood at the kiln together, just after submitting their pieces. Kravitz reformed his suit once he placed his vase in, now that he was done with clay. "Taako, I want to know..."

Taako placed his bowl into the kiln, watched Kravitz from over his shoulder. "Yeah?"

"Was this call for business or for pleasure?"

That question caught him off guard, and he stammered through his words trying to explain. "Yeah, I mean, a little bit of both, I--I uh, for sure didn't want to be dragged to hell or whatever it is you do. Stored in the ghost house with Casper and the lot. Don't wanna do that." He laughed again, wildly. "In the mirror, if I remember?"

"Yeah," he said, entertained by the mess Taako made of himself.

"I am not interested in that." Taako grabbed onto Kravitz' arm and made for the exit, chattering on the whole way out the door. "But if--like, also, I love your style. Not crazy about the cold clamminess of the skin, but like, yeah, you know, it's been a while out here."

The butterflies currently taking refuge in Kravitz' stomach were distracting, but not enough for Kravitz to ignore the sudden burst of lich energy that came out of nowhere. Without thinking, he switched to his skeletal form and full regalia. If there was a dangerous lich somewhere, he needed to shield Taako from them and throw them back into the Stockade. But he didn't see anything, not even with true sight, even though the pulsing signs of a powerful lich felt _so close._

"Love this," Taako said as his eyes roamed over the intimidating form. Some things never change.

"There's something here." Kravitz didn't know where to step. He wanted to block Taako from this energy, but it felt so close he wasn't sure of the exact location. It felt like it was everywhere. "There's something here, Taako, it was--"

"I feel it, too!"

"It was--no, not this--" Kravitz made the executive decision to ignore that little comment and circle back to it later. "--the--there's something here. It was in Miller's lab, too, I could feel it. It's dead and it's powerful and it's extremely close." Kravitz watched Taako, this time with more concern. "Have you ever seen a lich before? Do you--do you have suspicions that you might be some sort of vessel?" Oh _god,_ if Taako accidentally became a lich in his decade alone--Kravitz didn't want to think about that, actually.

"Maybe? I mean, it's been, like, a few years. Was that a thing for a while?" Taako tapped his umbrella on the ground as he thought. "I eat old dead dudes with my umbrella, is that a possibility, maybe?"

"I don't--hold on." This was a long shot. He wasn't even sure if Taako would _let_ him touch the umbrella, but... "Can I see your umbrella, actually?"

"Sure," he said, and handed it over.

Kravitz took the staff in hand and felt the weight of it. More than an umbrella of this size would normally be. Lup made it herself. There was a lot of arcane nonsense behind it that flew over Kravitz' head, but he had the basics down. Knew that Lup's umbrella _did_ eat defeated magic users' energies.

Hey, what would happen if Lup was defeated?

As he chewed through that theory, the umbrella in his hands flared out. He kept a tight grip on it despite the rising temperature. Taako lunged for it too, but the umbrella moved to carve letters in the grass across the way with fire.

I'M H

"Whoops!" Taako grabbed the end of the staff before the fire could do any further damage. "God, it really has a mind of its own...didn't mean to, uh, do that. Char up that handsome face, no thank you."

"No, it's alright." This time, Kravitz couldn't even stand to be flustered by the offhand compliment. Something was up with this. He couldn't quite get through the end of this logical tunnel, but knew he shouldn't leave this alone. Kravitz didn't have the answers, but Barry would. "You know, I think your umbrella is cursed."

"Oh, that'd be disappointing." Taako frowned at the umbrella. "Eugh, I don't want to put this in the shop, especially if Leon's the one with his hands on it..."

"Um, my friend--uh, brother, Barry--you met him, he, um. He's very good with magical objects."  A perfect excuse. He could buy some time with Barry to see what was up with the staff, if it led them to Lup at all. It felt like it would. Kravitz swore he could feel her presence, and this time it wasn't just wishful thinking. "If you wanted, I could...get him to take a look at it?"

Taako laid an arm over his forehead, overdramatic. "Sounds like you're trying to disarm me."

"I could leave you with collateral."

"Sure." Taako thought for a moment, and pointed square at Kravitz' chest. "Your scythe."

Kravitz just had to chuckle at that. Shook his head. "That's bound to my soul, I can call it back to me at any time. That hardly seems fair."

"You know what?" Taako stepped closer, _too close,_ and slid one finger under his lapel. "If you don't bring it back, I can always get Julia to bully you to give it back. It's fine."

Fuck, damn it, _shit,_ how could he unravel Kravitz so quickly when he didn't even _remember_ him? "Only if you're sure."

"You seem like an okay dude." Taako pat him on the shoulder and took a few steps back. Seemed like he was just as nervous doing that than Kravitz was experiencing it. "Anyway, I'll go call an orb, you go do your thing."

"I will." Kravitz wanted to say something else, or pitch a clever line in his direction, but by the time he thought of anything noteworthy Taako was out of sight. The umbrella in his hand swayed, and he remembered-- _right, shit--_ he needed to get it to Barry. Pinning the umbrella between his arm and torso, he summoned his scythe and cut a portal.

Kravitz hurried into the Astral plane, relieved to see Barry in their apartment. He didn't have much time, his thoughts raced so fast in his head.

"Barry," he said, all but throwing the umbrella into his arms, "look at this."

"You managed to _get this?"_   Barry opened and closed the umbrella, wide eyes threatening to pop out of his own glasses. "Did you steal it?"

"No, Taako thinks it's cursed and let me take it over here to fix it." Kravitz stayed close to Barry and the umbrella, his hands still on it. "It's--Barry, it's got a mind of its own, it carves messages into walls and grass, and it's just _radiating_ lich energy."

"Well, I really wasn't planning on doing much fixing." Barry stepped backwards and held the umbrella more firmly in his hands. "If I'm wrong, I'll see what I can do, but I--I have to try it."

"Whatever gets us closer to Lup, yeah."

Barry nodded and took one long look at the umbrella. He ran his hand along it once more and then swiftly snapped the handle over his knee.

A ring of explosions shot out in their apartment, all in different colors, all carefully avoiding Barry and Kravitz. Smoke filled the room and more flares went off, one after another, bursts of arcane energy lit off in every direction. It went on for a solid minute, a huge and joyous display of power. None of the spells were meant to damage, hell no--the spell shaping was nothing less than exceptional. It felt more like a particularly strong hug than something dangerous. When the smoke cleared, all that remained was Lup, as a lich, with her hands aflame and her face just a pinprick of light.

Her voice rang out through the whole room, demanding and booming.

"You're absolute _dogshit_ with flirting, you know that?"

Some things never change.

"Lup!" Barry ran forward and crashed Lup into a hug. It was a good thing bounty hunters could physically interact with liches, or else this would be a lukewarm affair. She did the same, buried her face in the top of his head. They both squeezed, and Barry cried, and blubbered out a few things that _might_ have been sentences, if Kravitz were listening more properly. "Lup, it's--it's, _fuck,_ it's really you."

"Oh, yeah, I was just hanging out in there." She tried to act casual. It didn't work, though. Kravitz knew she would close to tears if she had tear ducts, and wasn't even ashamed of it. "Took you long enough, babe."

"Better late than never."

"Burned through my body a little too quick, though." Lup squeezed him in a tighter hug and kissed his cheek. "I, uh, have a lot to tell you about that, but dorkwad's got those hunter eyes all pointed at me."

"Well, we do have to get you on the payroll. You're still a lich." Kravitz held out his hand for Lup. "We can catch up after you get a construct going, I'm sure it will be easier for you and Barry to have a proper reunion."

Lup nodded, and let go of Barry. She held onto Kravitz and he cut a portal into the Queen's chambers. She introduced herself to the Raven Queen without any fanfare, much less formal than Kravitz would have liked. But that didn't matter, because they found Lup.

Now that she was back, they had some work to do.

* * *

The Raven Queen granted Lup an extended break before the start of her service.

After a decade of solitude trapped in a prison of her own design, Lup had trouble adjusting back to the luxury of full body autonomy and consciousness. Barry was tasked with her initial set up and recovery, considering Lup trusted him the most and they could use any extra time to catch up. This forced Kravitz into taking an extended mission, so he didn't get a chance to greet Lup properly after she got a construct. Only a couple hurried conversations over the stone and one passing glance as Kravitz ran in to retrieve something he forgot out of the apartment.

He finished the mission and flopped down on the couch in their shared Astral plane apartment. Julia didn't stay there that often, normally opted to stay with Magnus, so he assumed he would be alone in the common area.

Like most things, Kravitz assumed wrong.

"Wow, you look like shit," Lup said, leaned over the back of the couch. She swat Kravitz in the face with a long canvas package. "If that's the kind of job I'm in for, can I go ahead and quit? Or do you think I'll be better at it than you?"

"Nice to see you again," he said, consciously ignoring her bait. A hundred years with this woman and he knew when to let things go. Kravitz sat up and Lup vaulted over the couch to sit next to him. "Are you doing any better?"

"Ehhhh." Lup waggled her hand in the air. "Marginally. Nice to be out, though, and Barry does help."

"The construct is alright, though?"

"Oh, yeah, that's actually the best part." Lup rolled her shoulders and held her arms out, showing it off. "Like, that other time we got to be bounty hunters? Loved that. Full fuckin' agency over the construct? Love that."

"Definitely a perk of the job." Kravitz and Lup had many a conversation over that particular ability. He would probably have many more, now that they both had it full time. At the moment, though, his mind was focused on more dangerous things. "Sorry it took us so long to find you."

She shrugged. "It's fine, how were you supposed to know I was in some backwater cave? I made myself untraceable."

"Gave us a lot of trouble." He let out a few chuckles, just out of reflex. Not that it was all that funny, but if he thought on it too hard he wouldn't be able to stop thinking of it. "But things were...complicated. I don't think I'm capable of holding it against you."

"Ugh, _good,_ 'cause Barry and I already had that fight." Lup settled into the couch and kicked her feet up on the coffee table. Dissatisfied. Miffed. Frustrated. "We're good, but, y'know. After that whole, uh, high of getting to see each other again, there was--eugh, don't give me that face, we already worked it out."

"Couples fight," he said with a nod. Figured it wasn't good to poke and prod at that, it was her and Barry's business. If it were him and Taako in the same position, he had the feeling there'd be similar roadblocks. "I'm just--glad you're back. I--really missed you."

Lup smiled, punched him in the arm. "Missed you too, Skeletor."

"You're also Skeletor now," he reminded her, "it's a good look on you."

"Yeah, right? It's rad." Lup stood up and dabbed. "Check this shit out," she said, and then poofed away her skin. A small, aluminum wrapped package sat in her ribcage. Kravitz poked it. It had a little bit of give and it smelled nice.

"Is that a burrito?" he asked, but Lup swat his hand away when he tried to remove it.

"Hell yeah it is." Lup reformed her body, burrito in its wrap and all. Her face wasn't as cheerful as it was when she dissolved all her skin. "It's almost worth that whole decade I couldn't talk to anyone."

Kravitz pulled a frown, not entirely sure how he was supposed to answer that. Lup didn't allow that silence to go on for very long, though, because she was Lup and didn't much like to make the attitude more somber than it had any right to be. At least not when she was riding on the good feelings of getting reunited with a portion of her family.

"And here." Lup reached down for the long package and dropped it in Kravitz' lap. "I heard you, uh, needed to get this back to my brother. No need to make him all suspicious."

"You know, I'd almost forgotten about that." Kravitz hefted the canvas. It felt exactly the same as the previous umbrella. He assumed she had a lot of time during the healing to craft a suitable replica. After a moment of thought, he held the package up towards her. "Why not give it to him yourself?"

"I've been thinking..." Lup turned and sat next to Kravitz on the couch again. "It'll probably fuck up his mind a whole lot if he sees. Uh. Me. With the same face and everything."

"I...hadn't thought about that." He thumbed the fabric of the umbrella. Yeah, no, she was right. She couldn't just go up to Taako and expect him to take that well. She could go disguised, for sure. But that wouldn't work for the umbrella gifting duty. Kravitz was the one that took it away, it'd be awkward if a total stranger came up to give it back. They'd have to circle back on disguising Lup, but Kravitz wasn't planning on seeing Taako again. It would be too weird. "I was hoping you'd be able to see him again."

"Well..." Lup spoke in that _I'm about to say something you hate_ voice and poked Kravitz on the shoulder. _"I_ was hoping you'd drop in periodically with reports."

"Periodically?" Kravitz shook his head. "Lup, I'm just--I've just got to give this to him and, um, let him be."

"No you aren't." It wasn't a question. She kept a wide smile and fixed the umbra staff more securely in his hands. "You're going to date him and keep me updated on how he's doing. That's the only way I'll survive this Taako drought."

Fuck, why did Kravitz' face have to burn up so much from the idea of dating his own fiancé? "I-- _Lup,_ I, um, I can't do that, he's--he didn't say I could date him without his memories, we never thought that would be a situation we'd run into." He couldn't meet Lup's eye, too ashamed and embarrassed of the idea. "It feels wrong."

That didn't stop Lup. Few things did. She inched closer, forced him to look her in the eye. "Except that he was actively flirting with you? From what I saw, he's already got it bad." 

"I don't want to be creepy."

"You're not being creepy, come on." Lup slung an arm around his shoulder, half as a comfort and half to ensure that he didn't escape. "Seems like he's had a rough decade, don't you think he deserves something fun?"

"And you think that's me?"

"And you think you _aren't?_ I have no clue how to hammer that into your skull, because _holy shit,_ it's so obvious." Her voice turned softer, more reassuring. "You know he's just as in love with you as you are him, right?"

"Not right now."

"Not ever, if you don't do anything about it." She huffed, realizing the severity of Kravitz' stubbornness. He wouldn't let her get to him, even though it sounded like she was about to break down every single one of Kravitz' flimsy excuses. "Okay, let's break this one down. What're you afraid of? 'Cause he's definitely not gonna reject you, I heard how you two talked."

"I guess..." Kravitz really thought about it. Dug deep in there. He knew if he gave a half-assed answer to Lup, he'd never survive. It was more economical to figure out what was wrong now than run into eight other Lup-related problems later. To her credit, Lup sat there, unmoving, waiting for Kravitz to give his answer. "I'm afraid that when he remembers everything, he'll say I took advantage of him," he said, finally, mostly a mumble to himself.

"Sure, if you, like, stalked him after he told you he didn't want to date you, that'd suck." Lup let go of him now that he admitted that. No need to worry about him running any longer. She came right back around to try and pick up the pieces. "But I don't see anything bad about keeping him company while he doesn't know what the fuck's going on. I mean, come on, this is _Taako,_ it's not like it's a secret that he hates being alone."

"Still."

"He dated you plenty of times when you had no idea what was up."

"Only because I told him he could." And then, because Kravitz _apparently_ wanted trouble, he added, "I yelled at him once for it."

"Yeah, you think I didn't hear about that?" Lup rolled her eyes, the admission not a surprise. Taako must have told her. That was good, it meant that Kravitz wasn't going to die again by her hand. "This is different."

"How?"

"Because you've both been doing this for a hundred years?" Lup pouted at him, and then kept going when Kravitz stared at her with the dumbest, blankest face. "Boundaries are different now, you're engaged. It's fine to be extra cautious when this sort of thing is new, but Taako trusts you not to do anything shitty, because you wouldn't."

"He doesn't know that right now." Kravitz would have to start from square one, and if he messed up, Taako wouldn't likely let him hear the end of it later.

"What if he seeks you out?"

"Do you really think that would happen?"

"He thought you were his greatest desire in the lab, and threatened to sex-tentacle you," she said, face scrunched up in disgust. "You're welcome, by the way, that I didn't let _that_ happen in front of the rest."

"Thank you, but I'm entirely sure it was a joke."

"Are you _kidding_ m--" Lup took a moment and collected herself. Barely held in her patience for this nonsense. "Even if it was, he's been flirting with you non-stop ever since you stopped being a threat." She spoke louder, as if the idea would more firmly lodge in Kravitz' head if she spoke up. "He took you to _wine and pottery,_ he has it so bad for you."

"Maybe." He refused to look at her, because he knew if he did she would convince him fully. "I still wouldn't get my hopes up."

"You can--you know you can be selfish about this, right?" Lup waited until Kravitz actually _looked_ at her before speaking up again. He knew she wouldn't let him hide, and he made peace with that. "Taako's not the only one that's lonely."

"I'm not _lonely,_ I have my goddess and Barry and Julia." His grip on the umbrella loosened. "And now, you again."

"Thanks, and--sure, that goes a long way, I'm definitely all in on that power of friendship bullshit. I lived on a friendship boat for a century. But..." Her voice trailed off, allowed Kravitz to fill in the spaces until that bored her and she filled them in herself. "Wouldn't it be nice to get your boyfriend back?"

"It would."

"Can't kiss any of your friends," she teased.

"Especially since I'm related to most of them." Kravitz laughed, and Lup joined him. He knew he could probably leave it at that, that Lup wouldn't bother him on the subject any further. But. _But._ Him and his mouth. "Really, though, I'm alright."

"I'm not arguing that, all I'm saying is you're allowed to want something more. It's--great to have more people, I'm glad we're all here. We're important to each other, all of us, that goes without saying. But if Taako's on your mind, then. You know. That's going to haunt you." Lup dropped her voice into something dangerously honest. "Think about it for me?"

"I'll drop this off to him and see where it goes from there." Kravitz tightened the string that kept the canvas wrapped over the umbrella. "If he--listen, Lup, if he doesn't make a move on me? I'm not doing it."

"Totally fair." She nodded once, and then winked. "But you have to admit he was checking you out."

Kravitz smiled. "He was."

"And he assumed you were his _greatest desire."_

The smile grew wider. "He did, didn't he?"

"I don't think you have much to worry about." Lup stood from the couch and pointed menacingly down at Kravitz. "But if you do date him, you _have_ to tell me everything PG. No exceptions. If I can't be there in person, I need a reliable source."

"I will." Kravitz pointed back at her. "And you should probably take that burrito out of your ribcage."

"You can't tell me what to do."

"Don't come crawling to me when your body has to reform after all this abuse you've put it through." Kravitz stood from his seat and fixed the umbrella firmly in his grip. "I'm surprised your lungs are still working."

"Oh, I haven't been able to breathe since I put it in." She turned skeletal and took the burrito out. Lup lobbed it at Kravitz. "Here, have some lunch."

Kravitz held the burrito away from him. "I'm not eating this."

"Hey, a burrito." Barry, half asleep, walked past Kravitz and snatched the aluminum package out of his hands. He bit into the whole thing, aluminum and all. "My least favorite part of these are the silver wrapping they put on the top."

"That's aluminum," Kravitz said, horrified.

"Yeah." Barry nodded.

Lup burst out in a full body laugh. Barry couldn't understand why.

* * *

Even though Kravitz had a perfectly legitimate reason to go visit Taako, he hesitated to call.

If he called that meant that he'd want to ask Taako on a real date later, and despite Lup's request that he _absolutely do that_ and Taako's interest in him, that was...not easy. It was much simpler to take Taako out when they were in an established relationship. No fear of rejection, no sweaty palms or shaking limbs. If it was a bad time, Kravitz could circle back and ask again later, or he'd just _see him at night, because they fucking lived together._ But, a first date? He had to be careful when and where he asked for that. If he asked at all. He still felt like he would chicken out of the whole affair. Just tell Lup he tried, and then Taako said no. That could work, couldn't it?

Kravitz spent so much time trying to figure out how he'd call Taako that he forgot _to_ call him, and just portaled into his space like old times. Taako sat up and watched him, suspicious, and then flopped back down on the couch.

"Well, that's a new one. Not even gonna call first?" Taako rested his chin on his hands and looked up at Kravitz through his lashes. "Hi."

"Hi." He really needed to get a hold of himself. Couldn't fall ass over face just from one flirty look from Taako. Kravitz fumbled the canvas package and held it out in front of him. "Sorry, I--I forgot to call. But I--um, I brought your umbrella back."

Taako huffed out a little laugh and stood up. He took the staff in his hands, clutched it to his chest like the precious artifact that it was. "Was it cursed?"

"It was." Kravitz smiled fondly, unable to laugh at his own joke. "Nasty lich inside there."  Taako's hands stuttered on the staff and Kravitz held his hands out, a desperate need to assuage his fears. "She's gone, and the umbrella might not be as active, but it's perfectly safe to use. Just be careful taking artifacts off of dead bodies in the future."

"A little disappointing, if I'm gonna be honest." He unwrapped the package and ran his hand on the fabric of the umbrella. Lup did a kickass job of making it look _exactly_ the same, battle scars and all. Of course she would know all the intimate details after living inside it for a decade. A perfect replica. Taako didn't even suspect it was different. "But, I mean, also not a fan of harboring...uh, you called it a dark spirit?"

"She was a lich," he corrected. Might as well be honest about this one particular thing. It would make the rest more convincing. "But it should function like a normal spellcasting focus now."

"Neat-o, no more fire branding the walls." Taako hung the handle of the staff on his arm like it was a coat rack. His eyes wandered up and down Kravitz not-so-subtly. Lup was right--maybe it would be fun to spend some casual dating time with Taako. Maybe he was overthinking things. Taako looked him up and down again, like he did whenever they saw each other now. "So, uh. You still on duty?"

"I have some free time." Kravitz forced himself to relax. Taako was interested, and that made this way less harrowing. He knew how to deal with a Taako that flirted with him. He cocked his head to the side and acted just a tad bit coy, because Taako did always like a tease. "Why?"

"Just, uh, curious." Taako rested his newly-acquired umbrella on the couch. "Was gonna...test out some, uh, recipes now that I know I didn't--um, because I'm a kickass chef. If you wanted. To. Uh. Taste test."

"I'd love to," he said, and meant it with every inch of himself. This was a date, wasn't it? And one where Kravitz could taste Taako's cooking again. It had been too long. He took samples from Sizzle it Up! when he didn't have to get too close to the stagecoach, but it was never a substantial meal. God, he was going to have _a meal_ from Taako, how lucky was that on the first date? "What are you making?"

"Uhhhh, got any requests?" Taako rolled up his sleeves and pinned them back. Wizard robes are cool looking, but it's all fun and games until someone gets a sleeve caught in oil. "Gotta be honest, I, haven't been in the scene for a while, so. Anything to warm up."

Kravitz would eat anything from Taako, but he knew better than to say that. Taako hated it when he didn't have input on what he cooked--he liked his options on recipes narrowed so that he didn't have to think too hard on them. "Something with chicken?"

"Uh--" Taako stumbled for a fraction of a second. "How about. Not chicken? Maybe beef."

"I can do beef," he said, holding back the dozens of questions that flooded into his mind--what was wrong with chicken? There was never a problem with chicken before. Kravitz ignored those questions. It must have been nothing. Maybe he was just out of chicken. "What kind of beef were you thinking?"

"God, that sounds like the beginning to a bad porno." Taako let out a single undignified snort, and Kravitz knew there was no favor Taako could ask him that he would deny. Kravitz was always in that deep, but the feeling was magnified after a ten year break. Taako kept speaking and Kravitz had to remind himself to actively listen and not get swept away. "Well, you look like the type'a guy that's never had a good burger, y'know, one that's not ground beef? That you can get a little rarer than the usual business?"

"I have actually had those before, but I'd be excited to see what sorts of twists you have on them." Kravitz had eaten those specifically from Taako, multiple times. He knew it was a lot of work the way Taako did them, and wanted to help a little. He wasn't sure if Taako trusted him enough to try and do any cooking, but offered his services anyway. "I'd be happy to peel potatoes for you, if you'd like."

"Hell yeah, I get to make wedges without having to do the shitty parts?" Taako's eyes grew wider, excited. "Wait, back up. Can you put your hands in oil since you're dead?"

Kravitz smiled and turned his hand skeletal.

"You're making fries," he said. It wasn't a question, but it wasn't a command either. Kravitz could back out and say no if he wanted. But he didn't want to. He had enough basic cooking lessons from Taako to be able to make most of his side dishes. When they got engaged, Taako insisted he learn that much, at least, even if he wasn't perfect at it. So Kravitz was excited to show off.

Taako slacked off while Kravitz peeled potatoes. It would take less time for Kravitz to finish that then it would for Taako to make burgers, and they wanted both dishes to come out at the same time. They chatted lightly as Kravitz peeled potatoes, nothing too serious. There were a lot of subjects Taako shied away from, and Kravitz did his best to catalog those and not bring them up again. He'd ask once Taako knew him, _really knew_ him, but that was a shitty thing to ask someone he just met. Even if he counted the Knead and Gulp as a first date, Kraitz wasn't tacky enough to bring out all the baggage on the second date. Eventually, Taako took out the meat from the freezer to thaw.

Taako waved away any and all questions about frozen meat. "Don't make a big fuckin' deal about this, we just--uh, don't cook that often. This is temporary."

"I won't judge." He purposefully ignored the _don't cook that often_ admission, even though it made very little sense. Taako hated when he didn't cook, why wouldn't he cook? More mysteries that weren't his place to solve. Kravitz peeled the last potato and shoved them all into a colander to wash them. Now that he wasn't focused on the potatoes, he stood up straight and noticed a presence near the door to the dorm. "Taako, I think somebody's at your door."

"What? How can you tell?"

"There's a soul outside that's pacing back and forth? I didn't hear the elevator, though, they must have been there a while..." Kravitz and Taako both looked at the door, and then a tiny knock came from the other side. "Oh--they finally knocked."

"I'll grab it. Don't want anyone figuring you out, bone boy." He threw his kitchen towel over Kravitz' shoulder and walked to the door. Kravitz wasn't a big snoop, but he was curious who sat outside the space between the elevator and the dorm entrance for so long.

"Hello, sir!" A small voice rang out from behind the door--oh, shit, was that a child? Why was there a child at Taako's door? "It's magic day! I waited in the cafeteria for you for three whole hours and you didn't show up, so I thought you slept in or forgot about the lesson!"

"I definitely forgot about the lesson, little man." _Lesson??_ Taako gave lessons to a child? The door swung farther open and Taako came back into view. "Alright, fine, in. C'mon."

"Thank you, sir!" A small elven boy followed in after Taako. Fancy little boy suit. Round glasses that were too big for his face. A cute little poof of curls poking out of his little newsboy cap, and a wand on a lanyard. Two bracers--the permanent one and the removable one, of course. "Oh I'm sorry, I didn't know you had company over."

"I didn't think he'd still be here after I let you in," Taako said, and leveled a glare at Kravitz.

Shit. _Shit._ He should have left before this-- _child???--_ came in. He wasn't supposed to be on the moon base, he needed to leave. Couldn't cause any suspicion. "I can drop by another time if y--"

"Hold on! Sir, did you bring somebody out of the Bureau onto the moon base?" The boy took a long look at Kravitz and then turned his frustration to Taako. "You know we're not allowed to do that, and, it could hurt somebody's brain to be on the moon and not know it exists."

"His brain's fine, don't worry about it." Taako waved his concerns away, although he was bad at hiding his own nerves. "Listen, uh--remember how, um--that nerd didn't have a bracer."

The boy turned his head to the side. "Lucas?"

"Yeah."

"So you're an independent contractor?" The boy walked closer to Kravitz to see him up close. "What do you do for the Director?"

"Nothing special, we're just acquaintances." Kravitz ducked out of the kitchen and into the living room to avoid the holy aura. "Or--friends? I'm sorry, was that too big of a word for you?"

"I'm not a baby." The boy rolled his eyes at that, not a fan of being patronized. He gave up on walking closer to Kravitz and turned his suspicion to Taako. "Is he allowed to be here?"

Taako was never the best at lying. His charisma stat made sure of that. It was a fifty-fifty shot whether he could pull off a good con. Sometimes, he'd convince a judge that the seven deadly sins were bullshit, and other times he'd try to pass himself off as someone named Flan Bodette. Hit or miss. Usually miss. The boy seemed to know this, saw right through all of Taako's signs. So, Taako refused to say anything. But that was more of a giveaway than any lie could have been.

 _"Sir!"_  The kid stomped his little foot into the ground, a pretty good attempt at scolding.

"Listen, kid, here's the deal I'll cut you." Taako glared at the child like this wasn't a deal, but a threat. "You keep quiet about this secret guest and I'll let you in on this fuckin' burger party we're starting."

After a long few moments of thought, the boy nodded and held out his hand to shake. "Only if I get to ask him questions to see if it's safe to let him up here."

"Fine." Taako rolled his eyes and shook the hand, like this was some kind of _blood oath._   He turned his attention to Kravitz, lazy in every gesture now that there wasn't any apparent danger. "Kravitz, that's Angus. Sit down, 'cause I'll bet you a few gold pieces that he's gonna talk your fucking ears off."

Kravitz grit his teeth and pointed at Angus' arm. "Oh, um, could he--could he take off the secondary bracer?"

"That bracer protects us from undead beings," Angus said, the suspicion dialed back up all the way.

"He's got a holy energy allergy, that's it." Taako wasn't lying, not _entirely,_ but his tone didn't convince the boy much. Taako huffed and acted like it wasn't that big of a deal. "It's rare."

"Okay." Reluctantly, Angus took off his bracer and put it into his bag, eyes on Kravitz the entire time. "Can I sit down now?"

"Yeah." Taako moved to the counter, and Kravitz went to join him to help. Taako laid a hand on his shoulder and whispered just low enough so Angus couldn't hear. "Hey, I'll--you got potatoes cut, I'll fry 'em, we wouldn't--wouldn't want him to see your skele-hands."

"Thank you." Kravitz handed off his supplies to Taako and went to sit at the table with Angus. "So, is this your son?"

Taako fumbled and almost dropped his knife. "Hell no!"

"I'm his coworker!" Angus looked just as offended that Kravitz would accuse him of being Taako's son than Taako was. Both were on the defensive. "And I've been learning wizardly magics from him because they're very useful for my job and they're amazing!"

"They're amazing if you remember to put all of the fingers on your mage hand," Taako said with a mean grin.

Angus puffed out his cheeks. "I figured that out months ago!" 

"And what cantrip are you stuck on right now?" Taako stared Angus down, brows up, one ear turned towards him.

"Prestidigitation," Angus mumbled, the word slurring just on the edge of unintelligible.

"Kid only comes for a magic lesson when he can't figure it out in one of his books." Taako picked up his spatula and waved it in the air. "Oh, I _know,_ isn't it heartbreaking when wizarding is tougher than your kiddie schoolwork?"

"I feel like I should be getting it quicker."

"Most people don't get into this shit until they're grown. Already got a leg up on the rest of these wizards and you're whining that it's not fast enough." Taako turned back to his work, muttering _just_ loud enough for Angus to hear. "If it was easy, everyone would be a wizard and you wouldn't be gettin' magic lessons from a chef."

All of the energy snapped back into Angus. "Did you hear that, sir?" he asked Kravitz, voice quiet.

"I did, um--I'm sorry he said that to you." Kravitz knew Taako had actual skill in teaching. Apparently not to children, though. He didn't want the kid to be scared off from wizardry, considering how excited he looked about the lessons.

"No! Most people don't pick it up at all! It's supposed to be hard, I shouldn't beat myself up over it all." Angus pulled out a book from his bag and slammed it on the table. "I'm gonna go over it again and see if I missed something."

"Probably mispronouncing incantations again," Taako called out from the kitchen.

Kravitz poked his head over the book and read the passage Angus was stuck on. "Oh, that's probably it." He pointed to the incantation. "You're supposed to pronounce this without the sound at the end, that usually trips people up."

Angus looked at him with a stone-cold face. All of the excitement from earlier completely gone. "I know what I'm doing, sir," he mumbled, now disappointed as he checked the book. "You don't have to give me the answer."

Kravitz decided it was best to give the kid some space. Obviously he crossed a line, there, and now he was pouty. He got up and moved into the kitchen, completely embarrassed.

"Don't let him get a big head, he's a little shit." Taako glanced over to him once he realized Kravitz entered his space. "Learns way too fast. Watch what you say around the twig."

"I thought you were insulting him."

"Please, he wouldn't be allowed in this kitchen if he was just a whiny kid with a magic obsession." Taako slid a raw burger onto his pan and the sizzle echoed through the room. "It's just, y'know, if you tell him exactly what he's done wrong, he complains that you're not takin' him seriously, and if you tell him nothing he gets, uh, discouraged. Makes everything easier if I give out hints instead."

Kravitz thought this over for a second, and simply stated, "you're a good teacher," because it was true, and wasn't erased by Fisher.

"I mean--" Taako immediately shrank in on himself. Kravitz was constantly floored with how this asshole could go from all bravado to complete wallflower in second flat. "Anyone can smack talk a kid."

"But not everyone can tell exactly what type of teaching a student needs to do their best." Kravitz took a peek to see Angus study around the corner. "You saw I tried and got the stinkiest preteen glare."

Taako did not do a good job hiding his embarrassment. "You don't gotta compliment me like this is a date anymore, we've got a kid here."

"So this was a date in the first place?" Kravitz asked, unable to wipe the goofy grin that took residence on his face.

"A'course it was, do you think I'm dumb enough to pass up this opportunity? And what the fuck did you think the pottery meeting _was?"_   Taako either recovered from his awkwardness or masked it very well. Now, he took the time to attempt to fluster Kravitz. It would probably work if he did it for longer, but within seconds Taako had him out of the kitchen. "Get back in there, kid probably has a million questions to ask."

The kid _did,_ in fact, have a million questions to ask. Kravitz did his best to sidestep the ones that could implicate him as an agent of the Raven Queen, or the fact that he was dead, but he had the feeling Angus was too smart for any bullshit. He could get away with claiming that he also worked for a secret organization that the Bureau knew about, but he could tell that didn't satisfy Angus' curiosity. Thankfully, though, Taako swept in with a basket full of fries plopped down on the table before Angus could get too suspicious.

"Hey, all done." Taako shot a badly hidden look of fright at Kravitz. "I, uh, forgot to ask you how you liked your meat cooked, but. You seemed like the type'a guy that likes it red?"

"That's extremely correct, thank you." Seemed like Fisher couldn't erase everything. Little subconscious details stayed, it seemed. That was actually kind of sweet, and Kravitz couldn't hold back the fond smile that crept up at the thought.

"Oh, jackpot," he said, and then looked over his nose at Angus. "You're getting it well done, babies can't have undercooked meats."

"I'm not a baby!" Angus _really_ hated getting patronized. Kravitz took mental note of that.

"Sure," he said, not at all convinced. Taako walked back into the kitchen to grab more plates. Kravitz moved to get out of his seat to help, but Angus grabbed a tight hold on his jacket.

"Taako told me that he had a very bad cooking accident and a lot of people died." Angus whispered quickly to get all his words out before Taako could come back and hear him. "He doesn't cook for people anymore, so, we should be very nice so he keeps doing it!"

Kravitz only had a fraction of a second to unpack  _all of that_   before they were interrupted.

"Actually, Angus," Taako said, appearing right behind the boy as he set the plate down. Angus jumped with a start, but Taako kept oddly calm. "Found out that wasn't me. Got framed. I'm fucking perfect at everything." Taako used mage hand to slide a plate towards Kravitz. "But, uh, let the dead guy at it first."

"I _knew_ it!" Angus slammed his little fist on the table and directed his anger right at Taako. "Sir, you brought a _dead person_ up onto the base?"

"Oh, uh, whoops." Taako sucked in air through his teeth. Kravitz gently dropped his head on the table. Of course.

This only made the boy more nervous. "We're not supposed to talk to dead people at the Bureau, they made the relics!" Angus reached inside his sleeve and pulled out a _mini crossbow, what the fuck?_

"Well, Kravitz didn't. So you better fuckin' hush up about this one." He jumped at the sight of Angus' crossbow and put his hand over it. "And whoa, hey, hey! Not needed, little dude."

"It's incredibly dangerous to bring someone like that up here!" Angus didn't aim his bow at Kravitz, but didn't take his eyes off of him. "What if he's some kind of spy?"

"Not a spy, he's practically--" Taako did a double take and saw Angus wave his hand in the air in a familiar somatic gesture, one that Merle did a million times. "Okay, little man, I can see you tryin' to cast Zone of Truth, and, that's not even a wizard spell. Tough shit."

Angus pouted and tried again. "I think I can still learn it."

"I mean, you can _try."_ Taako's eyes couldn't rest on one specific thing, going back and forth between Angus, his crossbow, Kravitz, and the kitchen. Trying to diffuse the situation in his head. Kravitz had the idea to help but had the feeling he'd just fuck everything up more. "Listen, he's harmless."

"You're biased," Angus said, plain and simple.

"How the fuck am I biased?"

The kid stuck his nose in the air and crossed his arms, annoyed that he had to spell it out. "You both keep making kissing eyes at each other and it's gross."

All of the tension at the table disappeared in a second. Angus did _not_ look very happy over the other two laughing their asses off over his explanation. Kissing eyes. _Kissing eyes?_ What the _fuck_ was that supposed to mean? A bunch of weird mental pictures flew through Kravitz' head and he _lost it_ as he tried to figure out what Angus thought romance was.

"I'm sorry, _what_ are kissing eyes?" Kravitz asked, hand over his face as he tried to regain his composure.

 _"Obviously_ it's when people want to kiss and look at each other." Angus rolled his eyes as if what he just said made any sort of sense at all. "I'm sorry, sir, you should dump him, he's kind of dumb."

Taako wiped away a tear that squeezed out of his eye while he was laughing. "He is, but that's fine."

Still stubborn, Angus shook his head. "I don't see why."

"You'll figure it out when you're older." Kravitz thought to himself, and then added, "or you won't, and that's also fine. It's too early to tell."

"I can figure out anything if I investigate it enough."

"Aren't you a little young to be investigating this sort of thing?" Taako laughed again and kicked Kravitz under the table. "This kid shields his eyes every time he sees Killian kissin' her girl."

Angus looked mortified just thinking of that. "Only because it's private!"

It was cute watching Angus get so flustered over the idea of romance, and even cuter watching Taako tease him. Kravitz knew it would be mean to let it go on any farther, because he really was too young for anything more detailed, but it was a funny little sight. This wasn't Taako's boy, but it was nice watching him interact with a kid. It reminded Kravitz of the plans they made decades ago.

Another time, he told himself. They'd get to it once this Fisher stuff was all out of the way.

"Mhmm, sure." Taako turned Angus' attention away from Kravitz and the kissing thing and shoved the plate in front of him. "Look, I didn't make you burgers just to have you forget about 'em and let 'em get cold, so, c'mon."

"But, he's dea--"

"The deal was burgers in exchange for silence on the guest." Taako dug his finger into the table, insistent. "So, no running to the Director about this, got it?"

The boy thought on it. Kravitz could see the little mental calculations around his head as he strategized. After a moment, he made up his mind and addressed Kravitz directly.

"I'm not going to tell the Director about you, because you seem pretty harmless and if you like Taako I don't assume you're going to take down the moon base." Angus took a firm grip on his crossbow. "But if you do anything out of line, I'm going to cry and run to the Director and tell her you cast a death spell on me, and then you'll never step foot here again."

"Angus," Kravitz said, trying his hardest not to giggle after being threatened by a _ten year old,_ "I swear to you, I wouldn't do anything to harm this moon base, especially not Taako. And definitely not you, either." He leaned forward as non-threateningly as possible. "All I ask is that you don't study necromancy as you grow as a wizard, that's the only thing I'm concerned about."

"Oh heck no, sir!" Angus furiously shook his head and perked up, now that the conversation shifted to something he was more interested in."I thought divination was more interesting, since I'm a detective and all."

"That's a much better decision. You should come show me once you get into your specialization." Kravitz touched the edges of his plate. "Now that that's cleared, I think we should get to this before any of it gets cold."

Angus didn't need any more encouragement after that, and dug right in. Kravitz noted the anxious way Taako watched him eat, but it lessened the more bites the boy took. Eventually he stopped watching Angus' every move and worked on his own. Not that Kravitz paid attention by that point--after a minute of observation he couldn't help himself. He hadn't eaten Taako's cooking in so long, and he just. _Needed_ to.

It wasn't _exactly_ as it was when he had his memories. Cheese didn't exist on this plane, so he couldn't do much with that. Kravitz could taste where the skill rust was, could tell that Taako hadn't cooked in a while. But, even still, he almost broke out into tears with the first bite. Thank the Raven Queen he held himself together, or else that would be super fucking awkward. Although, his face must have telegraphed something to Taako. When they locked eyes, Taako had the smuggest look on his face. At least he still had pride in his work. Kravitz didn't try to hide how much he enjoyed it, there was no use.

"This is so great!" Angus had most of his shoveled down already, specks of spices all around his chin.

Taako rested his chin on his hands. The "no elbows on the table" rule never applied to him. "You're just saying that to get me to do it again."

"No, not at all, sir! I really mean it." Angus took another two bites, right after another. "It's a lot better than what they have in the cafeteria!"

"Good, it means you do have taste." Taako threw a napkin at him. "Except, you got something on your _everywhere,_ looks dumb."

Angus didn't even look embarrassed. It seemed like this was their normal dynamic. Taako genuinely cared for this boy, but hid it underneath a lot of teasing. Angus picked apart his words to find the little admittances that Taako _did_ enjoy his company. Every once in a while, there'd be a little nugget of truth, or a bit of bragging from Taako about how sharp Angus was. It was cute to watch them, even if Taako acted more like a weird uncle than a dad. Kravitz hoped Taako wouldn't be so aloof towards his own kid, but, that was a long ways off anyway.

The dinner went off without any threats from Angus or any food incidents. Angus spent some time with Taako going over magic. Their lessons were more structured than the frustrated study session before dinner, and Kravitz could really see how they worked. Angus brought out a children's detective novel and rambled on about it. Taako zoned the fuck out during that, but Kravitz did his best to pay attention and hold a conversation. They got one more confirmation from Angus that he wouldn't rat Kravitz out to the Director. By then, it was late and Angus nodded off twice on Taako's couch. Taako woke him up and shepherded him towards the door with a tin full of leftovers.

"Good night, sirs!" Angus hesitated, and then crashed Kravitz in a hug. He waved as he ran out the door to the elevator. "Goodbye!"

"Oof." Kravitz adjusted himself, thrown off balance by the small ten year old that crashed into his midsection. "I think that went well."

"Spend a couple hours with you and now you're his new favorite?" Taako closed the door once he saw Angus board the elevator and pouted. "Unfair."

"I'm not the one teaching him magic, I hardly think he prefers me over you." Kravitz let the silence sit in the air as Taako removed all signs that Angus visited from the dorm. "That's your apprentice, then?"

"I guess? Haven't really put a name to it." Taako did his best to hide how attached he was to this boy. That made sense, since he didn't actually know Kravitz too well. He wondered what Taako would say if he knew they were engaged.

"It was cute, hearing about you from him."

"Ah, shit, what'd he tell you?"

"Only good things, and he tried to tell me about that accident. But you interrupted that." Before Kravitz left, he just _had_ to address the one thing on his mind. "So, um. You, uh, had a cooking accident?"

"Oh please, it's not like you can get poisoned." Taako tried to shrug it off and get Kravitz out of the door, but. No, this was the one thing he needed to hear about. He needed to know if Taako was okay. "And it wasn't even me, I got framed."

"That's not what I'm worried about." He didn't need to know about the details, at least not at that very moment. There could be time for that later. He just didn't like to see Taako so twisted up over something that _apparently_ wasn't even his fault. "You don't cook very often anymore?"

"I mean--no." Taako walked across the floor to clear his head. "But, hey, figured out it wasn't my fault, so. Branching out again." He gestured towards the table and pushed Angus' chair in. "Didn't work, since the kid came in, but I thought it'd, uh, be easier to practice on a dead dude."

"If you need any other encouragement, I'm sure I could bring Julia and Barry over for a meal."  Thoughts of Lup flooded into his mind--he might be able to get her here in disguise. She would love to have a meal from Taako, to be able to _speak_ to him. "And one of my other coworkers, you haven't met her."

"More dead people might do it." Taako nodded, considered it seriously. "Also, didn't mean to delve into that whole, uh, everything, but. Kid has a mouth. Kind of a bummer for a date."

"There's really not much you can do to scare me off." Kravitz couldn't say the real reason he couldn't get scared off--that he already knew Taako's worst fears and flaws and still loved every inch of him--but couldn't say that without Taako getting horribly confused or utterly terrified. "I work for the Raven Queen."

"True, true...I feel like I should get some of your tragic backstory though, huh?"

Kravitz felt himself clam up. He could say _anything_ to Taako. But. Not like this. He wouldn't even know the context for half of his problems. He wouldn't be able to talk about it without static pouring out of his mouth. "You can have parts of it if you want, but others aren't...really available right now."

"For sure." Taako moved near Kravitz again, the charm turned back on now that a young boy wasn't within hearing range. "If you're, like, okay with it though, uh--throw a guy a bone, eh? Or really, just, like, _anything,_ 'cause we've just been talkin' about Taako and I'm _interested_ in all this."

"I'm a divorcee," he said with a smile.

Taako reeled back, not put off by Kravitz specifically, but the nerve he assumed he just hit. "Oh, _oof."_  

"It happened centuries ago, he's not even in this plane." Kravitz let out one laugh, a tease. "No jealous exes you have to worry about."

"Big fan of that." Taako stood there, not sure what to do next. He settled for the world's most awkward arm pat and a lopsided smile. "We should hang out again sometime, but, uh. Without the kid. You know?"

"I would love to." And, because Kravitz didn't want to give off the impression that he didn't like Taako's apprentice, he added, "although, I do think he's charming."

"He's either completely endearing or the biggest shithead on the planet, no middle sliders." Taako said it like it was an insult, but he looked so fucking proud of his little student. He should have been. From what Kravitz saw, Angus was very sharp. "And, uh, I'm cool with you bringing your death friends over for dinner or whatever, maybe later, but--you, uh, wanna start off with just us for a while?"

"Of course, Taako." It felt like the night drew to a close, so Kravitz summoned his scythe. "I'll see you again soon, right?"

"Yeah, I'll call." Taako waved. "This was fun."

"It was. That was one of the best meals I've ever had, and I'm...very old."

"Oh yeah, I'm perfect at it and it's not even, like, hard." Now that he wasn't worried that his food would poison his magic boy, Taako took more pride in his cooking once again. Good. That's how it should have been. "That wasn't even my best work."

"Could have fooled me." Kravitz had half a mind to stay there and keep flirting, but he felt a tug on his soul that meant there was a bounty he needed to fulfill. He tore a rift in Taako's dorm and hooked one leg through. "I've really got to head out now, there's a mission. Call me."

"Will do," he said, voice excited and buzzing. Kravitz had him _hooked._

* * *

Now, Taako removed his bracer and his ring whenever he had an inkling that Kravitz would visit. 

He visited often. Once a week, sometimes more if he had the time. He'd spend a few hours with him on the surface of the planet and then portal him back to his dorm. Would hesitate right before the portal to see if Taako would kiss him _this time._ But he wouldn't, he never would, and Kravitz didn't hold it against him. They decided to take it slow, even though every time Lup rushed to get her report on her brother she'd chastise him for not taking a leap of faith.

There's a difference between a leap of faith and an explicit breaking of established boundaries, _Lup._

But she wasn't the one who was an expert in these _one of us can't remember the other_ relationships, so Kravitz let it slide.

Kravitz handed the reins off to Taako, let him dictate the speed they went at. Kravitz would be fine with anything at any time, none of this was new to him. But he knew that he was Taako's first serious relationship, at least when they were on the Starblaster. He didn't know who Taako dated on the road, if he dated at all. Kravitz wouldn't mind, of course, people have needs and Taako didn't _know_ he was engaged, but he just didn't know where Taako stood. And Taako didn't trust him enough to bear his soul out like old times.

Still, it was nice. It was more than nice, it was _wonderful_ to be with Taako again, even if things were slow and new. It served to reignite all of the old feelings Kravitz had the first time they did this. Reminded him of the years when this was new to Taako and they didn't yet know what they were about to dig into. Every brush of their hands lit a fire in Kravitz, every second of eye contact enough to shatter his composure. It shouldn't have left him this giddy, but a decade apart could do that to anyone.

At the end of every night, Kravitz cut a portal to Taako's dorm so he didn't have to use the orb. Every night, they both lingered on opposite ends of the portal, neither of them sure if it was okay to go in for a kiss. It didn't happen the first time, or the second time. Not even the third time. It took a while, and Kravitz was willing to wait for it. Taako was extremely cagey when it came to first-time physical affection, and the last thing Kravitz wanted to do was force him to do anything early.

But he could see where Taako wanted to break his own rules. He lurched forward a few times. He stood at the portal and contemplated it for a long, long time. Like he was waiting for Kravitz to make the first move, but they'd already agreed that Taako would set the speed. Every dropoff was an internal battle with this man. He'd look like he wanted to, and then he'd stop himself. He'd consider it again, and come to the same conclusion. And then he'd leave with a too-forced voice and run out of the sight radius of the portal. It happened like this every time, although it looked like he got closer to kissing him at the end of every date.

"Ridiculous," Taako said at the end of their fourth excursion, and pulled Kravitz' face down to kiss him.

It was clumsier than before, and not familiar in the way that he'd kiss after decades of knowing each other. Even still, Kravitz froze up and kept his eyes wide, since it came out of nowhere. Unsure whether it was _okay_ to reciprocate. Wait, what was he thinking? Dumbass, of course it was okay, Taako was--well, _was_ it? Taako now might want to, but Taako later could chew him out for taking advantage of him, and _god damn, he was overthinking this, stop standing there stiff as a board and just--_

Taako snickered and stepped back. "Oh, wow, I think I really did break you this time."

"You--" Kravitz stumbled through a sentence, the previous few moments on repeat in his mind. Now that his brain caught up he felt the memory of Taako's lips on his, the lingering pressure that clung to him like wet fabric. Kravitz smiled, a couple fingers resting on his own lips as he processed it all. _"Didn't,_ I'm, um. Wow."

"Broken, look at that." Taako tapped his cheek twice, proud of his work. "Actually, you know what? That's cute. Keep doing it."

Even though he didn't need to, Kravitz took a breath to reset. Couldn't make a fool of himself here, like _this._ If Taako remembered-- _when_ Taako remembered--Kravitz didn't want him to laugh for being nervous to kiss him.

"May I try that again?" Kravitz asked, his fingers moved from his lips to Taako's, and then shifted to the right to cup his cheek.

"If you think you can," Taako teased, and _oh, this fucker was asking for it._

Well, Kravitz was never good at denying him anything.

He closed the distance, one hand still at Taako's face and the other at the small of his back. When he was taller than Taako, he learned that he liked to be crowded up when kissed. He didn't have any cool teeth or anything in his half-elf form, but that didn't matter much--Taako never liked anything too blatant outside of his private space, and definitely not with a new person. So he kept it sweet and light. Let it say things like _I love you, I missed you, I found you, I care about you_ without saying it out loud, without the fear of saying anything so fond out loud.

Kravitz wasn't a jealous man, but he was a petty one. He decided to blow all of Taako's previous exploits out of the water with this. To offer some small reminder that Taako _was_ loved, thank you very much, that he didn't have to worry that nobody else would have him, because Kravitz was right there. That might have been possessive but _fuck it,_ Kravitz left his fiancé alone for a decade and he came back afraid and self-conscious, and _goddamn, he was going to tear through Lucretia the moment he saw her again._   He let that thought fly out of his mind as soon as it seeped in, because, again, he was here to remind Taako that he was very well loved. And Taako took it. With shaking hands and the same clumsiness that came before, he kissed back. Not for very long, because mortals had this thing they needed called _air._

"Okay, wow, uh, you're actually _very_ good at that," he said, in between heavy breaths. His face broke out into a grin. "You were holding out on me."

"You caught me off guard before." Kravitz allowed himself to be just a bit cocky as he scooped Taako up closer to him, spoke in a low voice. "I know what I'm doing."

That got Taako to shut his mouth and watch him wide-eyed with ears perked up. If Kravitz didn't know him so well, he'd be afraid that he scared Taako. But he knew that was the face of a Taako that just uncovered a new fetish--alright, _fetish_ was the wrong word, but the point was Taako thought it was attractive, and the discovery of that threw him off.

And then Taako pulled Kravitz down into another kiss. This one wasn't all about pleasing Taako, but a declaration they both wrote together. Easier to get lost in something like this, that was meant for them both. Kravitz spent so much time casting away any feelings of Taako beyond missing him, he almost forgot how satisfying it was to do something as simple as this.

Unfortunately, they couldn't stay there forever, because _air._ Taako caught his breath with his eyes fixed on Kravitz, shy now that he was in the spotlight. They did it again, and a couple times more. Extreme PG kissing in between the elevator and the door to the dorm shouldn't have been so much fun, but it was, and Kravitz couldn't help but giggle.

"Something funny?" Taako asked, brows raised.

"No, not funny," he said, arms looped around Taako right where they belonged, "just having fun."

Taako considered this for a moment, and then kissed him again. "You're cute."

"So are you." That, at least, was easy to admit.

"Well, that's fortunate. A couple'a--y'know. Uh. We probably. Fit. Together? Pretty well." Taako mumbled to himself. His sentences didn't make much sense. All scrambled and undefined. He reorganized his thoughts and tilted his head at Kravitz. "Hey, I've got an idea."

"Yes?"

"Be my boyfriend," he said, inches away from Kravitz' face, "y'know, like, officially."

"A little quick for that, isn't it?" Not that Kravitz was in any position to say no. He wanted that, definitely, but--it was quick, wasn't it? At least on Taako's time. "Four dates to kiss and then you want to be official ten minutes later? You're alright, right?"

"If you don't want to, we won't--" Taako let out a whine. He was always just a little bit frustrated when he needed to ask for a change in their relationship. "Like, that's, uh. Cool. If you don't want to, right now--"

"I would love to." He would. He really, really would. He just--he just wanted to make Taako happy, and, _hell,_ he was tired of pretending to be single again. But he also had to make sure Taako didn't just ask that because he thought Kravitz wanted it. "I just don't want to pressure you."

"Yeah, uh, here's the thing? It's really fucking easy to be with you." To mark his point, Taako cuddled up closer. "Not super sure why, but. That's what it's like."

"I feel like it's easy to be with you, too." Kravitz knew exactly why, but knew it wouldn't get across without any static for him to explain. There was no need to confuse Taako further. "And if you really want to, I will gladly be your boyfriend, officially."

"Hell yeah!" Taako pulled him down for one more quick kiss. "Hey, you want to stay for a little bit for a drink?" His ears shot downwards once he realized what that sounded like, and he quickly amended his statement. "Not--uh, not like that. Just, y'know, chat a little more."

"Of course."

Kravitz followed him in. Taako poured him some wine. The cheaper stuff again. Kravitz didn't mind, since Taako seemed to like it so much. They chatted about nothing, stole a couple of quick kisses. Nothing too scandalous. Mostly rode on those _holy shit we're dating now_ highs. Taako was so _happy,_ giddy to share jokes and stories about his adventure to Kravitz. A light little conversation at the end of a nice date.

A nice conversation that was interrupted by the sound of an excited squeak from Magnus.

"Hey, Kravitz." Julia leaned on the counter with the smuggest look possible on her face. In pajamas with hair tied up, ready to fake sleep in the ways the Queen's agents had to. Magnus wasn't far behind her, face bewildered and eyes sparkling. "Didn't expect to see you here."

"Julia! I, um--" Kravitz stumbled through his words for a minute before giving up. "There's no possible way we can hide this, is there?"

"I'm dating your boss," Taako said, his grin out to his ears.

"I'm not her boss!"

Magnus was so excited about this development that he _bounced._ "And you took him back here?"

"Just for a drink," Kravitz insisted, and pointed to the glass Taako gave to him. "I wanted to drop him off so he didn't need to use the glass balls. No need to cast suspicion on him with the Bureau."

"Don't worry, I won't tell anyone," she said, and Kravitz _knew_ she meant Lup. He also knew that she absolutely _would_ tell Lup if he didn't get to her first. "You kids have fun."

"You two are _so cute,"_ Magnus whispered as he followed Julia back into their room.

"We're not--" Taako sneered into his glass and downed it just to cope. "Ugh, we've lived her life at least five times over."

"Definitely more than that," Kravitz said, a whole lifetime of memories surfacing as proof.

"I'm not a math boy." Taako set his glass down and grabbed Kravitz by the arm. He dragged him down onto the couch. In a moment, he had his hands underneath Kravitz' jacket. Not going anywhere, just needing to be closer. "Now that she's gone, I can admire my new boyfriend as much as I want."

"Might take a long time, there's a lot to admire," Kravitz said as he shrugged off the jacket. Let it rest over the side of the couch. He could take that off if they were just relaxing, right? Taako didn't seem to mind.

"Ooh, a little vain?" Taako scooted up closer, their sides pressed up together. Now that they crossed one line of physical affection, the dam burst. "I like that."

 _I know you do._ "Well, I just have good taste." Careful not to go past any boundaries Taako hadn't signaled were down, Kravitz looped an arm around his waist as they sat together. "Which is why I like you."

 _"And_ he's charming?" Taako circled his arms around him and kissed him on the cheek. Laid it on a little thick, but it wasn't like Kravitz complained. "What'd I do in a past life to snag you, huh?"

_Hundreds of things. A hundred times. Or maybe it was inevitable after I found you in the woods._

It didn't do him much good to think that, and it would do even less good to say it out loud, so Kravitz just kissed him again and hoped the message would get across.

* * *

Without Taako or Kravitz' knowledge, something in the Director's office changed. 

With the shift of one thing to another, with a bond reignited, another face appeared on the painting behind her desk. There was her face, older than the original, that was always there. But there was also another face, off to the side. A half-elf, with a face that never changed. Lots of awkward empty space between the two, like there was something missing in the painting. The Director's assistant, a man that could only say one word, pointed at the painting and said the only thing he knew.

The Director didn't know whether to feel elated or worried, and elected to go with both.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hey, everyone! this next chapter is going to be delayed another week. i know i said last time was the last time, but, hey! things happen. also these chapters are getting ridiculously long! and i really want to stick the landing. thanks for your patience!
> 
> but on the flip side, notice that there's an extra chapter! it's because i had to cut this one in half. boy howdy. it's a lot.
> 
> Happy New Year! hopefully everyone has a good one this time. HOPEFULLY. i'm gonna punch 2019 in the face
> 
> anyway, next chapter....is the last one in Kravitz' POV :)


	25. In Faerun, As Lovers

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Kravitz gets some time with his favorite people.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> [disappears for two weeks and comes back with a 24k word chapter]
> 
> uhhhhh minor content warning: there's like, one joke taako makes about dying that could be twisted as a suicidal thing? it totally isn't, i wouldn't do that, and kravitz gets very worried about it, but it's in the first section if you need to prepare yourself! stay safe. also you know me. i don't write anything explicit but there's a lot of talking about sex in this one. merle makes a joke about waxing himself. fun times!

The next time Kravitz went in to see Taako, he didn't get the happy _we're officially boyfriends now_ greeting that he expected.

Usually, when they broke out the B word while Kravitz didn't remember, Taako would be extremely affectionate the next meeting. With all his memories back, Kravitz assumed this was because he was glad to have gotten back on track. He assumed Taako would do the same subconsciously, or perhaps with muscle memory. But when he knocked on the door to the dorm _(yes,_ Kravitz was polite and insisted on portaling next to the elevator and not in the middle of the room like that one time he forgot) and Taako opened the door, he looked uneasy. On edge.

"My boss knows we're dating," he said, the words tumbled out so fast that Kravitz could barely register them.

Oh shit. Oh _shit,_ Lucretia found out? Not only that, but she _told_ Taako about all this? With all the lies she told about him and all the other bounty hunters, Kravitz half expected Taako to end it with that and slam the door on him. But instead, he stayed cautious, watched Kravitz with an intense, searching look. Honestly, Kravitz had no idea what he was meant to say, or if this was Taako's way of chasing him off.

"How?" Kravitz finally croaked out, unable to form a sentence longer than a word.

"Don't know, but she--uh, it was kind of awkward." Taako still didn't move. Stayed in place like a stone, something running through his brain as he tried to understand this all. "Y'know. Lectured me about dead folks but also said she was happy for me--kind of, uh, weird if you ask me. Makes me think there's bugs in my room or something."

No, Lucretia wouldn't do that, would she? Julia and Magnus didn't get caught, so why did Taako? She definitely had the technology to bug him, but that was crossing a whole extra set of lines he didn't think she'd go over. But at the same time, he didn't expect her to _purposefully_ erase their entire family's memories and send them on life-threatening missions to undo their hard work just because she didn't agree with it.

Oh, right, now that he had _time_ to think about that, _of course_ he was angry about that! She couldn't even think to come speak to them first? And once she wrangled all of these up together, what was she going to do? The old plan she came up with? The one that had a chance to harm or kill Kravitz? He wondered where he went wrong with Lucretia. They were friends before, good ones. Good enough friends for him to be in her painting, back before she knew he was going to stick around, enchanted it so that it--

The painting.

Of _course._

Kravitz should have stayed away from Taako. He shouldn't have put him in unnecessary danger like this. Lucretia was obviously off the rails, what if she did something to Taako in retaliation? Or if she fed him lies about Kravitz?

Kravitz finally spoke up after enough staring from Taako, although he couldn't get a proper sentence together. "Are we--is this--we're, are we, this isn't--"

"Not breaking up with you." Taako kept a tight grip on the door. Usually when he was bothered, he refused to look Kravitz in the eye. But here, he couldn't stop staring. "Just--she knows about it. That's all."

"Are you alright, though?" Kravitz picked his brain off the ground to speak clearly. Still had no idea what Taako was getting at. "She didn't do anything?"

"Just, uh, gave me a pat on the back and a _good job,_ for some fucking reason." He narrowed his eyes and took a step out the door, cornered Kravitz. "How do you know the Director?"

Oh boy. He was going to try this today? Kravitz did what he always did when Taako asked questions about the static or Lucretia. Smile and stay vague. "She's an old friend, I've told you this."

"No, like--details, man, c'mon." Taako took another step forward, forced Kravitz nearer to the elevator. He was set on this, determined to bully the answers out of Kravitz. "Forgive me for no--not believing the two a' you were just _buddies_ before, she wouldn't have built a whole moon base _against_ people with _your exact job_ if you were--were really friends."

"I don't know why she's done any of this, I swear." Thoughts of Lucretia rushed through his head, but he couldn't come up with a good answer for Taako. He couldn't even come up with a good answer for himself. "I guess it would be more accurate to say we _were_ friends."

"But you didn't make the relics and she knew that," he said, suspicion turned up even more.

Kravitz ducked away from Taako. Couldn't stand to be cornered by him any further. He knew he couldn't keep this up forever, that Taako was a whole lot less willing to have unanswered questions in his life than Kravitz was. It didn't mean he knew what to do when that moment came. "Taako, we both know that it never goes well when you start asking about my past, it will hurt you."

"I don't care, this is freaking me out too much." At least Taako didn't try to corner him again. Kravitz needed space, needed to take a moment to fake breathe.

"There's really nothing to say, it's not interesting." Maybe if he calmed down, Taako would think this was too boring to pursue? It was a long shot, but Kravitz was out of ideas and saw a very bad conversation on the horizon.

"You say static shit sometimes," Taako said, quietly, right on the edge of pleading, "don't lie to me." It didn't seem like an act, and Kravitz knew it wasn't. Taako feared losing information, and that fear was still present even when he couldn't remember why. This wasn't fair to him, he knew, but what else could Kravitz do? Break his brain to try and explain everything? When Kravitz used to ask questions, Taako could just tell him, there wasn't an extra memory block. It confused him, of course, Kravitz remembered the few times Taako admitted they had a past and couldn't shake that feeling of being thrown completely off guard. But Taako wasn't even able to hear Kravitz' explanations, couldn't draw conclusions based off of coy sidesteps of speech.

"It's not like I can tell you."

"I can try to figure it out."

"That won't do you any good." Kravitz shook his head, tried his best to gently steer Taako away from all this. "You physically can't."

"How the _fuck else_ am I supposed to get any answers?" Taako's quiet and polite face melted away to something a lot more frustrated and angry. He stormed back into the dorm, shut the door so hard it swung right back open. "The Director won't say shit, Julia said it wasn't her job to say, and now my own fucking boyfriend won't--come _on,_ if it's my business, you can't just-- _augh!"_

"Taako?" Kravitz stepped in the door frame and held onto the wood. Spoke more delicately. Didn't want to distress Taako more than he already was. "Can I come in?"

"If you come in to talk about the, apparently, _decades_ of shit I'm missing, sure!" Taako stormed into the kitchen and slammed a pot down onto the counter. "Did you know that? I went to Refuge and they've got Taako up in surround sound, three-sixty, and there's, fuckin', at least a century of missing shit." He poured some kind of broth inside, turned up the heat, and heaved a mound of vegetables onto a cutting board. "And then, there's these _patches_ before that! How am I--"

Taako stopped, realized where he was and what he was doing, and turned the oven off. Gently put the vegetables back into the fridge. Looked too nervous in his own kitchen, suddenly aware of everything around him.

"How the fuck is that normal, huh?" he asked, quieter. Not calm, but playing at it.

"It's not normal," Kravitz admitted.

"And _you_ know what I'm missing, yeah?" Taako looked up at him, hopeful, his hand on Kravitz'.

"...Yeah." He could dance around answers and tell Taako that he couldn't say everything, but he didn't have the guts to outright lie. He knew his own defenses dissolved as he spoke, knew he couldn't keep this up forever. Not with Taako this distressed.

"Alright, now we're getting somewhere." Taako looked a bit less frazzled at that. Kravitz had first-hand experience with that feeling, the knowledge that no, he wasn't crazy. There _was_ something he missed. A little of Taako's confidence seeped back in, enough for him to make demands. "Spill it."

"I can't, the static--"

Taako squeezed Kravitz' hand hard, right on the edge of too painful. "Then give me an _overview,_ come on."

"Taako, I would love to sit down and have a chat about what you're missing for a couple hours, that's...I'd like that, I just--" Kravitz knew he couldn't protest for much longer. The looks Taako shot at him were too much for him to ignore, but he had to try and persuade him away from this line of thought. He didn't want this to be any more complicated than it already was. "It may hurt you. And I don't want to do that to you, that would be shitty of me."

That didn't convince Taako at all. "Fuck that."

"It's not--"

"--it's shit I _should_ know, isn't it?" Taako moved up closer, even more insistent. "My intellectual property was _taken,_ that's suing grounds."

Kravitz huffed out a couple of chuckles. "That's not exactly what intellectual property theft is."

"Ha ha, hilarious, we got jokes out. Now jokes can leave the room, they're gone--" Taako flicked his wrist towards the door, as if forcibly ejecting jokes out of the room. He turned his full attention to Kravitz, less demanding and angry. More desperate. "Tell me what's up. I don't--listen, it's great. That you, uh, don't want to hurt me. That's a very desirable trait in a partner, super cool, but I--" He dropped his head on Kravitz' shoulder, his words muffled into the blazer. "It's worse when I have this nagging feeling that you--you're hiding something from me. Get it?"

"I do." Kravitz had been in Taako's situation many times, knew exactly what feelings flooded his mind. He wrapped an arm around Taako's back and rubbed it, tried to stay as soothing as possible while he thought up his strategy. He couldn't just tell Taako everything, could he? The best he could do was offer hints that led up to an answer he couldn't understand. But it seemed like Taako would prefer that over nothing. The years Kravitz had an idea that they had a past together, he did want to know what was up. It never changed his feelings about Taako, he always felt a strange magnetic pull to him, but it helped put things in perspective. The years Taako explained things to him, he did feel better.

Maybe it wouldn't be so bad to tell Taako _something?_   Just a little bit.

"Then, _come on."_ Taako dug his face out of Kravitz' shoulder and pouted up at him. Impatient, pushy, and insistent. It wasn't like Kravitz would be forcing information on Taako, he actively wanted to hear something. And...wouldn't it be disrespectful not to catch Taako up on a few things when he explicitly wanted to hear about his own past? The information belonged to him, after all, it was stolen. It would definitely make things more complicated, but Kravitz could do complicated. The two of them were nothing  _but_ complicated.

"Do you really want to do this?" Kravitz was ready to give out a few answers, only simple ones. He just needed one more reassurance that he wasn't overstepping any boundaries for this. "There's no going back afterwards."

Taako whacked him in the arm. "If you keep blabbering on about my fucking safety, I'll kick you out."

"Alright." Kravitz looked around the dorm. It was more messy than usual, but it all looked recently blown through. This must have really bothered Taako. Kravitz wanted to make this as easy on his mind as possible, though, and needed to approach this gently. "We should sit down, at least."

"Sure, can do." Taako pulled himself out of Kravitz' grip and ran towards the kitchen again. "Oh, wait, let me get--hold on."

He pulled the fridge open and Kravitz could see a glimpse of Taako's anxieties. The thing was filled with ingredients, leftovers, too much food and baked goods to have been accumulated since the last time Kravitz visited. Taako was a known stress cooker and baker. He needed something to do with his hands when he thought, and too often that resulted in a lot of extra food. Taako pulled out a small sheet cake with thick buttercream icing and closed the door with his leg.

"Is that a whole cake?" Kravitz stepped forward to help him with it. Nothing was written on the top, but otherwise it was iced perfectly.

"You've got a problem with that? It's cake, man, just roll with it." Taako made sure Kravitz had a good grip on the cake and took two forks out of a drawer. "I'm pretty fucking sure it isn't poison, but you can't die and if _I_ die maybe I wouldn't hear all this goddamn static, so, whatever."

Kravitz set the cake down and turned his full attention to Taako. "I don't want you to die," he said, as serious as he could muster.

Taako scoffed at him like that wasn't a big deal. "I don't either, dude, it was a joke."

"Please don't do that right now, there's no way for me to know if you're serious." Even though it would make a lot of things easier, Kravitz wanted Taako to live out his full life before they figured out his afterlife situation.

"Okay." Taako reached into his robes and fished out a salt shaker. He shook a little onto the cake, waited a moment, and then gestured triumphantly to the dessert. "Okay, fine, look. No poison. All good."

"That's salt."

"Supposed to turn pink if it's poison, let's just--" Taako groaned and snatched the cake up, moved over to the couch and balanced the cake on his lap. He stabbed one of his forks into it and started to eat it from the middle, more forceful and angry than a normal person would consume cake. "I'm not here to--fuckin'--talk about _cake,_ or ill-advised jokes about death, just. Tell me what's up."

"Alright." Kravitz followed him, took the second fork and stabbed out his own bite of cake. No sections, no pieces, just anarchy. "I'm not entirely sure where to start, but alright."

"When you saw me in the lab--" Taako scooted up closer to Kravitz to give him easier cake access. He already had some questions on his mind. "Or, _us_ , the whole team, I guess--that wasn't the first time we met, was it?"

If Kravitz was a living man, he would have choked on his cake. "How did you know?"

"Hindsight, man, you gave me the same goopy eyes that you did when..." Taako left his fork upright in the cake and held onto Kravitz' chin. "Hey, hold on."

Out of nowhere, Taako kissed him. It didn't last very long, everything tasted like cake, and Kravitz had to fumble through the whole thing off guard. Still, it was new enough that Kravitz ended up with a smile at the end, despite the situation and the interruption.

"Yeah, see, it's the same look on your face." Taako grinned, swiped a thumb along Kravitz' cheek, and got back to his cake. "And, no offense to me, but I have the feeling the red spacesuit didn't do any favors, so. There's no fucking way you got it _that bad_ after ten seconds."

"You're too perceptive," Kravitz said, because it was true and he couldn't stand to keep that lie in.

"See, that's too fond of a look for a dude that's been my boyfriend for, oh, forty-eight hours or so?" Taako raised his brows at Kravitz, but didn't scold him any further. Instead, he took up another big bite of cake and spoke into the fork. "Kind of explains why, uh, it was a quick fall on my end."

Knowing that, Kravitz felt he could scoot closer and wrap an arm around Taako. If they were going to have this conversation, he might as well comfort Taako as best he could. "Not to criticize you--I was serious when I told you to take your time--but it took you four dates to kiss me."

"I mean, listen, this is gonna sound. Off the wall. But bear with me." Taako huddled into Kravitz' side, watched the cake instead of his face. "I, uh. Couldn't really believe how...honest you looked? I would _not_ have taken off that ring if...if you didn't have that. Like. I spat out part of my tragic backstory at a _pottery_ place, that's--" Taako stuffed another big glob of cake into his mouth to cope. "I don't, uh, usually do that."

Kravitz knew that exact feeling. When he didn't know Taako, he always felt drawn to him. "I didn't get to say this when that happened, because I was set on...keeping some distance between you and I, but..." Kravitz nudged Taako to look at him, hugged him tighter as he spoke. "You have so many people, Taako."

"I thought you were gonna go cheesy and say I had _you."_

"You do, always...but I don't want to tear you away from everyone else that makes you happy."  Kravitz wiped off a smear of icing that collected on the side of Taako's face from the chaotic cake consumption. "You will always have Magnus, and Merle, and now Julia, and Barry and--" _Lup. Davenport._   "--and, other people you don't know at the moment, and. It's unfair for me to lesson those bonds in favor of my own, they kept you running for a very long time."

Taako stared at him for a few moments, brain offline. He took one more hurried bite of cake and moved it from his lap to the coffee table. "See, it's...shit like that, it, makes me think this is..."

"I'm sorry, I upset you." Kravitz moved away, allowed Taako some space. This was a lot.

"No, just--don't worry about it." Taako scrubbed away the rest of the icing off of his face. His complexion was slightly more red than usual, though Kravitz wasn't as triumphant of that as he normally would be. "So you knew me."

"Yes," Kravitz said. He could answer simple questions, he decided. Yes or no questions were fine, they wouldn't fry his boyfriend's brain.

"You gave me that ring." Taako looked down at his empty ring finger and frowned. "The one that I've gotta take off whenever you come over."

"How did you--"

"It's all raven feathers, man, do you think I didn't notice?" Taako's nose scrunched up with his wicked grin and he forced himself back into Kravitz' cuddling range. "I don't even remember where I got it, that's got to be some kind of clue, right?"

"I guess it was kind of obvious...I have a matching one," he said, curious to see if that would turn to static.

Taako reached down to take Kravitz' hand in his, his thumb resting over the bare ring finger. "You don't wear it."

"I didn't want you to see it and get freaked out." Kravitz used his one brain cell to focus on giving Taako the information he needed, and not the fact that Taako had his hands on his. _Geez, they did this a million times before, why did this feel so different?_   "I wanted this to be as simple as possible, and not to confuse you when you can't remember."

"Why'd you give me a ring that you can't get close to?" Taako laced his fingers with Kravitz', slow enough for Kravitz to feel every point of contact with alarming clarity.

"My job requires me, sometimes, to capture people with...a high bounty." It was distracting to try and dance around these answers while Taako was all up on him. "We were both in a circumstance that, um. Gave you a high bounty, and...I eventually gave you the ring so that I wouldn't chase you." Kravitz finally brought up enough courage to look Taako in the eye. "I hope none of that turned to static."

"None of it did, but I still don't _get_ it." The more frustrated Taako became, the closer he dug himself into Kravitz' side. He kept their hands intertwined, but now his arm was slung around Kravitz' shoulder and both their sides lay flush against each other. "I mean, like, I kind of get it? But I don't. I _know_ I should be able to put this all together, but. There's a block."

Kravitz really needed to get a hold of himself. He managed to squeak out a, "that's Fisher for you."

"Static," Taako said, and gripped tighter.

"Sorry." This felt disingenuous to Kravitz, even though Taako set the pace. Of course he wanted to be close to him like this, he'd fantasized about it for a decade, but it just didn't feel honest. Kravitz had the sinking feeling Taako only did this to get information. Kravitz wouldn't condemn that, but it wasn't a great feeling on his end. Taako looked so _frustrated,_ though, that the answers were right there and there wasn't anything he could do to comprehend them. Kravitz figured he could give him (both of them) an out. "Do you want to stop? It's a lot."

"No, I need to do this." Taako clung to him, determined, but Kravitz could feel the places where he was too tense.

"It's just...distressing to watch you like this." Kravitz peeled Taako off of him. He was way too strung up. Taako swayed forward, wanting to get closer again but unsure if Kravitz wanted it. Looked even more distressed now that they were separated. And, _oh._ That's what that was. The touching wasn't some ploy to get more information, Taako just needed that. They used to do this all the time, when they had long conversations about something important. Taako would curl up next to him and they'd stumble through whatever problem bugged the both of them.

A subconscious need for that same comfort versus a block of static that didn't let him remember how to do it.

Alright, Kravitz could work with that.

Kravitz settled into the couch so that he wasn't sitting awkwardly on the edge. Arranged a couple pillows around. He opened his arms and Taako dove right back in, although Kravitz had to balance him around to actually make it comfortable. It took a little bit of work, but Kravitz got Taako to relax more. Easier to do that when they weren't strung up on one side of the couch. Now that he was here, Kravitz realized he needed this just as much as Taako did.

"Does that help?" Kravitz asked, his hand running through Taako's hair.

_"Yeah,"_   he answered, the word vibrating out into a purr on the tail end.

Shit, _really?_ It took Taako years to be able to do that shamelessly, without hiding it away within a few seconds. How'd it happen so fast this time? "Taako, that's--"

"Don't give me that look! I've told you a hundred times, it's just snoring." Taako kept his purr up, his chest vibrating against Kravitz'. It stopped once he saw the dumbfounded look that rested on Kravitz' face. "What?"

"You've...never done that in front of me," Kravitz said, in awe. How would Taako remember that?

"I haven't?" Taako glanced down at his own chest. "I felt like I have, though."

"Not, uh..." Kravitz chose his words carefully, knowing that most explanations would turn to static, but he was so _excited_ with this that he didn't know how to form real words. "Well, you _have_ , but not. Since. The wipe."

That only frustrated Taako more. "Why'd everything else turn to static bu--but not this, then?"

Kravitz held Taako closer and thought. Ignored the butterflies that flew out of his stomach to rest around his shoulders and head. No, _focus._ Now was not the time to wax poetic about how much Taako trusted him.

"Oh!" It hit Kravitz after a couple minutes, after Taako had long since accepted that there was no answer. "We never told anyone about it, there's no way it could have gotten recorded and erased. It was private."

"That's something." Taako shrugged and laid on Kravitz again. He didn't purr, but his body melted against Kravitz'. The tense spots in his back slowly eased out, and for the first time in a while, Taako relaxed. "Must have been real close, huh?"

"I'd like to think so," Kravitz said, his head curled on top of Taako's.

"Enough that you gave me a ring." Already trying to work through the next mystery.

"I made that ring." He hoped that would distract Taako from his own thoughts.

"Really?" Taako brought his face up to look at Kravitz and smiled, a teasing tilt to his voice. "Thought all crafts were lost on you, considering your vase."

"They were, I flubbed too hard on the enchantment," Kravitz grumbled out. He knew that once Taako remembered, he'd never hear the end of all this. "At least it came out looking nice. Took me months to get it perfect."

"Yeah, it's the nicest piece of jewelry I own."

"Thank you." Kravitz squeezed Taako's hand. "Even though it made things difficult, it really means a lot to me that you...wore the ring. All this time."

Taako's eyes shimmered with that glint in his eye that he'd always get before blurting out that he loved Kravitz. It was only there for a split second, but it was enough for Kravitz to muster up the courage to kiss him. Taako immediately reciprocated, arms thrown around Kravitz. They went on for a while, all of their frustrations and needs rolled up into it. Kravitz liked it when it was more sweet, when there was more passion put behind it, but he was just as high strung as Taako was in that moment. They both needed to blow off a little steam.

"This--fucking voidfish," Taako breathed out against Kravitz lips, his chest rising and falling like he'd just run a marathon. "I feel like there's an obvious connection here, but, it won't let me _make it._ There's a ring that you gave me and I wear it on this finger--" He pulled away from Kravitz and held his hand in front him, face scrunched up as he tried to think of something he couldn't comprehend. "Which is the finger people wear marriage rings on, and-- _fucking hell,_ I feel like I should _know what that means_ but I _can't--"_

"Please don't hurt yourself thinking about it," Kravitz said. He held him close, kissed him at his hairline, did whatever he could to calm Taako down.

His fit died down once Kravitz comforted him, and it only left Taako as a weepy noodle. "This _sucks."_

"Do you want me to leave?"

"No, I--you're helping." Taako wiped away the threat of tears that gathered on his eyes. "Do I, uh--do I know the other two?"

"Julia, no. She's new. Barry is, um. Fuck, I don't know how to say this without confusing you more, but..."  Fuck, he had to be _so careful_ with his words. "He's very important to you."

"Well, uh, if he's your brother and I--" Taako let out a wail of pain and clutched his head. _"Fuck,_ my head--if he's your brother and I'm... _with?_ You? Then that...I guess that makes sense?"

"He'd like to see you again, if I can bring him over. He really cares about you."

"Later, alright? It's. Uh. Weird enough trying to...know you." Taako cupped Kravitz' face, kissed him once more. "I mean, sure, maybe in. A little bit, but, right now I'm just. You know."

"Trying to sort all this out?"

"Exactly." Taako sighed, dropped his head on Kravitz' chest. "Am I missing anything else?"

"A lot. You're missing a lot." Kravitz planted a few kisses onto Taako's forehead. "Most of it I can't even try to explain."

Taako groaned. "Guess that's all I'm getting out of you, then."

"Most likely." Kravitz offered a smile as an apology. "I'm sorry I can't say more."

"It's not you." Taako took it, patted Kravitz' cheek in a way that would have been condescending if it were anyone else. "Just hope you're just as tight-lipped for _later."_

Kravitz tilted his head to the side. He wasn't sure at all what Taako meant. Was that some sort of phrase that was common on this planet? That Kravitz hadn't heard yet? "...What is that supposed to mean?"

"I mean, uh, that's how it works, right?" Taako held his hands out, like that was supposed to be enough of an explanation. He huffed and moved off of Kravitz, leaned over to the table to take another bite of cake for courage. "Like, suction? When you suck a dick. I feel like you need suction, yeah?"

"A little bit, but I'm not going to try and bite your dick off!" Unsure of where to put his arms, Kravitz had them shrunk in on his chest. "Taako, you--you know how sex works, right?"

"I--" Taako paused, and his ears snapped back flat against his skull. "I've done _reading."_

"Holy shit." Kravitz covered his mouth and laughed, not very hard, but enough for it to be considered rude.

"I know _enough_ that if I was in that situation I could--" Taako pushed him, his face colored pink. "Stop laughing!"

"You have _no idea,_ do you?" That was kind of sweet. He knew Taako hadn't had any encounters before him, that he didn't let people in very easily and Kravitz was his first. He guessed it made sense that he wouldn't remember _how..._ everything worked. It was still kind of funny. It meant that Taako hadn't been in bed with anyone else in the past decade, and Kravitz did feel a bit bad about that. He hoped that Taako had a bit of fun without him, that he didn't have a decades-long dry spell just because he was committed to another man without knowing it. Kind of felt like entrapment, but...he guessed it was fine if it was Taako's decision not to pursue other people in Kravitz' absence.

It didn't mean that Kravitz liked the idea of Taako being alone for so long.

Taako rolled his eyes. "What, you expect me to know everything? Like, fine, I know the basics, but it's not like I've done the damn thing."

Kravitz' mouth shut faster than a Venus fly trap. He was certain that if he didn't have full control over his construct that his eyes would pop right out of his sockets at that very moment. Every muscle, tendon, and bone froze in Kravitz' body as he tried not to burst out in laughter. Taako's expression slowly turned to horror as he processed what, exactly, that look on Kravitz' face meant.

"Are you telling me I got _laid_ and I don't even know about it?" Taako threw his hands in the air, voice cracking two octaves higher than it physically should have been able to go. "That's _unfair!"_

Kravitz _could not_ take it any longer, and burst out in full-body laughter once more. He hung onto the back of the couch like it was a lifeline. In the back of his head, he hoped Taako didn't think he was laughing at him, but just the situation.

Every visible patch of skin from the edge of Taako's clothes to his forehead colored a bright red. "I thought I was a _virgin!"_

With that, Taako found the humor in his own words and joined in on the hysterical laughter. It was just--so much _fun._ Even with the serious conversation before, Kravitz could really cut loose when it was just him and Taako alone. They laughed and Kravitz teased Taako for a solid few minutes about his lack of knowledge, but it was all in good spirit.

"So, uh..." Taako scooted closer once the two of them managed to calm down. "Was it with you?"

"Was what with me?"

Taako huffed, annoyed that Kravitz made him elaborate further. "Have we had sex together? Before?"

"I mean--" Come on, _calm down,_ it was an innocent enough question. Something that Taako had every right to know. "Um, yes. Many times." Kravitz smiled, and then backpedaled, _hard._   "That doesn't mean I'm expecting-- _anything_ out of you, by the way, I just--you asked, so--"

"No, it's good, I, uh--I assumed you wouldn't be. A dick about it." Taako flicked his eyes down and _hoo boy, he was checking Kravitz out._   "But, uh, is that on the table, at, like, some point? Not--for a while, yeah, but like. Later?"

That wasn't something Kravitz had thought about in a while. Or, he did think about it, but he couldn't stay on that train of thought for too long. Not when he lived with Barry. How weird is it to think about making love to your fiancé when your brother-in-law is in the room? Rhetorical question, it's the worst feeling in the world. But now that he was alone with Taako, and the option was there, and Taako was _asking him about it,_ well. He didn't want to pressure Taako into anything, but he _did_ miss him in every way.

"If you want," he said, shy and squeaky.

"You get a say in it, too."

"I, uh--" Damn it, _damn it,_ what was _wrong_ with him today? "Well. At some point, that would be..." Kravitz stumbled through a few more sentences, trying to find the right one and failing hard. "I really don't want to make you uncomfortable."

"Alright, uh, listen." Taako turned to face him, eyes locked more serious than Kravitz had seen in a while. "That's sweet, but, I wouldn't have asked if I didn't want to know the answer." Taako straightened his back and then _he_ was the one backpedaling. "If you don't, uh, want to answer, that's fine, I just--I'm not _delicate,_ you know."

"Right. Yeah, you're right, I--sorry, it's been a while and I just didn't...want to mess this up."  Kravitz reached forward to lay his hand on top of Taako's. "Whenever you're ready, yes, I'd like that."

"Again, probably not for a bit, but...good to know that's an option." Taako gave him one more once-over, and then he returned to his normal, relaxed state. "More importantly, can you stay? Right now? 'Cause now, uh, I do want to--spend some time. With. My boyfriend, the one I just got."

"Of course." Kravitz didn't even try to hold back his grin. "As long as you need."

"How about until morning?" Taako asked, and then immediately followed up with, "not to do anything, but I just, uh. Want you to stay."

"I, uh--" _Yes,_ holy shit, he absolutely wanted that. So much. But he also didn't want to be creepy. "I would--of course, I would, I, um--"

"Dude, if you don't want to, just say so." Taako frowned, his hand twisting underneath Kravitz' to hold it. "You've been givin' me all this space, I'd be more of an asshole than I'm comfortable with to not extend that same offer."

"No, it's just--I haven't been this close to you in a while, that's all." Kravitz forced himself to take a breath that wasn't necessary at all to reset. "I do want to stay, I'd love to."

"Alright, let's get this show on the road." Taako moved off the couch and extended a hand for Kravitz to take. "C'mon, up."

It was pretty easy after that. Taako put the half-demolished cake back in the fridge without any sort of wrapping or protection ("Magnus'll get it,"), and Taako poked into the bathroom to brush his teeth and get ready for the night. He moved out of the bathroom and towards his bedroom, shucking off parts of his robe on the way. Underneath all of it was a faded patterned set of pajamas, the fabric so dulled Kravitz couldn't tell what it was supposed to be.

"...Were you wearing pajamas underneath your robes?" Kravitz asked, and followed Taako into his bedroom.

"Wizard's secret." He winked. "C'mon, it's not like anyone notices, I'm wearing robes on top of layers of other shit. Way better than you, since I'm assuming you gotta wear starched pants to bed."

"I'm not _that_ fancy," Kravitz huffed.

"You wore them to _pottery."_

"It's not like they're real, I can reform them as much as I want."

"You stuck out so much." Taako pressed a kiss to Kravitz' cheek. "It was cute, by the way."

"Thank you." Kravitz gave Taako a once-over, smiling at every little detail. How his hair mussed up during their conversation, how he could see the freckles on his arms now, how comfy his pajama pants looked. "You're cute too, right now."

"Y'know, if it was anyone else, I'd take that as an insult." Taako smoothed Kravitz' jacket. "Are you gonna sleep in that suit, though? I've heard of sleep jeans, but that's a whole new level."

"I would _never_ sleep in this." Kravitz shifted his form. He ditched the suit and materialized a soft pair of flannel pajama pants and a loose cotton shirt, what he normally wore when Taako demanded to cuddle up with him. He held out his arms to show off. "But...how's this for you?"

Taako nodded in approval. "Looks comfy."

"Well, anything is comfy when it's an extension of my own construct."

"Yeah, but how comfy is it to cuddle?" Taako sat on the edge of the bed, pat the empty spot next to him. "And, is that on the table? Right now?"

"It most certainly is, how do you--" Kravitz barely touched his ass to the mattress when Taako tackled into the side of him. He curled up against him like before, on the couch, but more spread out. Kravitz let his arms fall around Taako naturally. "Oof, just, right for the middle there?"

"Haven't, uh, done this in a while." Taako scooted backwards on the bed, pulling Kravitz with him. "When you did it earlier, I, uh...really liked that."

"When was the last time you did this?" Kravitz moved the two of them so they were in a more comfortable position. Taako nuzzled up next to Kravitz, a little ring of pillows around both of them. "Not that--okay, I, um, don't want you to be under the impression that there's a wrong answer, or that I'd be jealous, but. Just. Um..."

"Nah, wasn't thinking you'd be that type." Taako clicked his tongue as he thought. "I mean, I've dated other guys before, but we hadn't gotten to the, uh, _cuddling_ stage."

"You make it sound illicit."

"This _is_ illicit, look at this!" Taako kicked his feet, blew a raspberry onto Kravitz' neck. "Just, so full of fuckin' sap."

Kravitz laughed, tickled by the pressure on his neck. "Do you want to stop?"

_"Hell_ no!" Taako cuddled up closer to him with an absolutely delighted look on his face. "You're so fuckin' comfy, I can't believe this."

"You're also comfy." Kravitz moved his arms until he found a comfortable and not creepy place to put them, firmly on Taako's back. "The cold doesn't bother you?"

"Don't know what you're talking about," he said, nose firmly smushed into the hollow of Kravitz' jaw, "you're not cold right now."

"Oh, shit, I have a pulse right now?" Kravitz reached up to his neck to feel, and, yeah, there was a pulse. Huh. "I wasn't expecting that."

"Did I do that?"

"You most certainly did." Kravitz dipped down to kiss Taako quickly. He was a lot less afraid to do those casual displays of affection now that they were alone and had a bigger conversation. It almost felt normal again. "You usually do, I just didn't think it'd happen again so soon."

"You have it bad," he teased.

"I do." Kravitz smiled. He didn't have any reason to be ashamed for loving Taako. "I just hope you weren't all on your own while I was gone."

"I mean--I don't know how long you've been gone."

"I'd tell you, but that..."

"Would hurt me, yeah." He groaned. Taako really seemed to hate the censoring of his own mind, which was completely understandable. "I mean, I've been. Fine, I guess."

"Just fine?" Kravitz stared off in the distance. Sure, fine, Taako hadn't slept with anyone in the past decade and that was his choice, but Kravitz hoped he got _some_ affection. Anything. "Again, this isn't--I'm not jealous or anything, but...when was the last time you dated anyone?"

"Uh..." He thought on it for a good, long time. Eyes squinted. Mental calculations floating over his head in a translucent haze. "Definitely...not since I started my show? It was way before I got the caravan, I think."

"You haven't been on a date since _the Starblaster?"_ he asked, immediately self conscious about how whiny that sounded.

"Static," Taako warned, teeth grit.

"I--right." Kravitz rearranged his words. "Were you lonely? This past decade?"

"So you're sayin' I knew you...ten years ago." Taako's eyes widened and he clutched his head. "Ugh, fuck--"

Kravitz swooped in and smoothed out Taako's hair. "You really shouldn't think about it so hard, you'll only hurt yourself."

"Fine." Taako took a good minute to collect himself, slow breaths hitting Kravitz' skin. "But, uh, I wouldn't say lonely? I mean. Can't really miss what you never had, I guess..."

"Taako..."

"Unless that's wrong?" he asked, eyes moving in a slow blink.

"It is." Kravitz cupped Taako's face, held him like the precious cargo he was. "I wish I could tell you more, but I wouldn't want to hurt you."

"I'm down for not getting anymore tingly brain nonsense, so I'll let it slide." 

"Is it alright if I ask why you didn't...try seeking out other people?"

"Busy, mostly? And, uh, wasn't...super impressed with anyone that _did_ try to approach..." Taako smiled and tapped Kravitz' nose, kissed his jaw. "I have high standards.

A big old smile grew on his face. "And I fit those high standards?"

Taako got that look on his face that meant he had a scheme, but a fun one. He repositioned himself so he was right on top of Kravitz. "Not gonna lie, but you fill some standards that I didn't even know I had."

"I'm not sure if you were always such a flirt or if I just forgot you were," he said, breathless, nervous now that he had more attention on him than he'd gotten in a decade.

"I don't normally do this," Taako said in a whisper, moved so his face was even with Kravitz'.

Kravitz wrapped an arm around his waist. "I'm the exception, then?"

"A pretty good exception," he said, and then his lips were on Kravitz' again and _fuck, that would never get old._

Taako was definitely out of practice, and he didn't remember what all Kravitz liked, but it was still good. He went for something a little more intimate than they'd tried since the memory wipe. It wasn't perfect, but Kravitz was pent up so it hardly mattered. He had to stop himself from getting too sexual with it, not to go any farther than Taako initiated. God, the _second_ Taako got his memories back, he'd--well, he'd wait until they had a good chunk of private time, but he knew he had a decade's worth of lost nights to make up for.

But this was also nice. They weren't in a rush to go anywhere else, but were happy to fool around in this strictly PG-13 space. Kravitz smiled too hard into it a few times, and Taako broke away to laugh at least twice. At least they had fun with it. Didn't take it too seriously. Taako was a quick study, and although he didn't remember any of Kravitz' preferences, he caught onto them fast. It was just nice to be together with him like this again. Call him touched starved, call him a romantic. Whatever it was, Kravitz felt so much better with Taako here, and safe, and (subconsciously) loving him.

Kravitz stopped when he felt less energy on Taako's side, when his movements became clumsier and less defined. "You should get to sleep."

"Nope, 'm meditating," is what he said, but he looked two seconds away from passing out. "Don't need to sleep."

"You don't strictly need it, but it's good for you to sleep at least once every couple weeks or so." Kravitz helped the two of them into sleeping position, his arms around Taako. He knew Taako preferred to be held, especially while sleeping. Kravitz liked to be held too, but that was usually reserved for bad days, or when Taako felt especially sappy.

Taako's words slurred as he asked, "who are you, my dad?"

"I'm really not into the daddy thing, no."

His reaction was immediate and horrified. "Oh _fucking hell,_ that's the worst!" Taako tried to clamber backwards, but Kravitz kept nuzzled up close.

"What? Are you into it? Sorry if we don't share the same kink," he teased, his nose dug into the crown of Taako's head.

_"I'm in hell!"_ Taako gripped Kravitz' pajama shirt and laughed into it. It didn't have as much energy in it as most of his other laughs did, and Kravitz had the feeling Taako wasn't far from sleep. "Shouldn't you know what my fetishes are? Please tell me that's not one of them."

"It isn't," Kravitz assured him.

"Thank _god."_   Taako pressed his cheek into Kravitz' shoulder. "Okay, listen. I'll sleep, but. You've gotta stay and keep watch."

"Nothing's going to happen, but I will." Kravitz hid a smile, completely charmed by Taako's slow dip into sleep. "You're safe here."

"I actually believe that, you know." Taako blinked once, twice, and Kravitz could see the exhaustion seep in. He mumbled, the sounds of his mouth could barely be classified as words. "It's fine with you, it's nice."

"Go on," Kravitz said, unable to hold back a little laugh. The sight before him was just too cute. "We'll talk more tomorrow."

Taako murmured something unintelligible into the crook of Kravitz' neck, and then he was out cold. Kravitz let a full smile grow on his face as he held Taako. He pressed fingers into the remaining tense spots onto his back, ran circles in them until they dissolved away. He kissed at Taako's forehead a few times, listened to his heartbeat and the rise and fall of his chest. Within the hour, Taako purred again, and Kravitz felt just as safe with Taako as he did the other way around.

* * *

A few days later, Kravitz prepared himself to teleport to the dorm to check on Taako when he picked up on Lucretia's soul signature for the first time in eleven years.

His first instinct was to teleport right in there and give her a piece of his mind. He had to remind himself that Taako, Magnus, and Merle were completely at her mercy, though, and he couldn't outright threaten her without putting the rest of them in danger. And, deep down, he really just wanted to know _why._ If he could still consider her a friend. If there was an end to all this, or if he'd have to step around conversation topics with Taako for the rest of his life.

So that was the plan. Portal over there, ask questions. Couldn't stay too long, or else he'd get pissed off and throw the conversation out of line.

Kravitz took a good few minutes to get ready. Washed his face with actual water. Took a few minutes to breathe, for real. Something about this didn't sit right with him, and he couldn't stop his hands from shaking and couldn't stand up straight. It took him twice as long to conjure up an outfit (going with his business look, now, nothing casual--this wasn't an outing with a friend). He put on his wedding ring, just to drive home the fact that Lucretia separated him from his _fiancé._   Did not leave any notes for the rest of his family, just ripped a portal open and jumped right through.

He found a shiny office on the other end. Big, hulking desk. Lucretia's painting sat behind it, with all the crew (and Kravitz, too) erased. She looked older, too. That didn't make much sense. He walked up to the desk and saw that it was made of a very nice and solid wood, that the whole office was on a raised platform (dais?). A long observational window ran along the left wall, and Kravitz could see they were just over Neverwinter. He heard a cough and turned to find a small sitting area off at the end of the observation window. Lucretia sat on one of the uncomfortable looking couches, in mid-pour of some tea.

Dressed in ornate orange and blue robes, Lucretia shot a shy smile at him. Just like in the painting, she looked older. But not older like Magnus was. Older like...multiple decades. That wasn't how human aging worked, was it? Kravitz had been human a bunch of times, and he knew that wasn't how it worked. Her hair shouldn't have been all white, her wrinkles shouldn't have dug in that deep. She looked good, sure. Aged gracefully. But he wasn't sure why she aged so fast.

"It's nice to see you again, Kravitz." She finished her pour and slid a cup in Kravitz' direction. "Is--is Barry with you? You can bring him in as well, if that makes you comfortable."

"How do I know you won't put the wards back up as soon as I leave?" Kravitz stayed standing, fists clenched in a desperate attempt to stay calm. He couldn't lose his cool thirty seconds into the conversation. "How do I know you won't put them up right now and burn me?"

Lucretia frowned, way too put out for someone who _erased her entire family's memories._ "Do you really distrust me that much?"

"I don't know what you were _expecting,"_ he said, the pretense of a friendly chat thrown right out the window. Seeing her like this, in fancy robes in a fancy office, did nothing to calm him. He knew he raised his voice, knew it might scare her, but he had a decade of frustration bottled up and this was the first time he could let it go. "Did you think we'd have a nice little chat, here? I'm not--you know, if you're going to override the wishes of the whole team and go off on your own mission, you can't just--erase everyone else's memories!"

"And what would you have done if the Captain and the rest of the team decided we fucked up this planet too much and hopped to the next one to reform Lup?" Lucretia's friendliness went away too, replaced by a defensive, stabbing voice that Kravitz never heard from her. "Davenport was--"

At the sound of the name, a small gnome popped out from the door and chirped out a friendly greeting. He didn't say _hello_ or _nice to see you,_ though, all he said was, "Davenport!" And as soon as that word flew through his brain, Kravitz realized this gnome _was_ Davenport. He barely looked like himself. He had a fancy little suit on and he wore the same color of robes that Lucretia had on, but in the style of his old IPRE jacket. His face was cheery, but hollow. He looked up at Kravitz, both hands politely behind his back.

"Lucretia," Kravitz said carefully, eyes plastered onto Davenport, "what the _fuck."_

"I know this looks bad--"

"You've gone well beyond _looking_ bad, my friend." Kravitz abandoned Lucretia to go to Davenport. He hadn't seen him in more than a decade, didn't even get quick glances from a distance. "Can the man even speak?"

"On a good day, sort of. Mostly just the name." Lucretia gripped her cup of tea tightly, unsure of how to defend herself. "Listen, I'm not--I'm not happy about this--"

"No, nope, I can't do this alone or else I'll just-- _I'm about two moments from yelling, you know."_ This was even worse than Kravitz initially imagined. It was a miracle he didn't explode on Lucretia already. "Stay. Right. There."

"Of course."

It didn't take much convincing at all to get the rest of the group to meet with Lucretia. Everyone wanted answers. It was a lot harder to get them to promise not to bombard her with yelling during the first couple minutes (especially since Kravitz himself wanted to do that), but they all settled on a strategy and moved to go meet Lucretia.

Kravitz let Barry in first, and Lucretia hopped out of her seat. Kravitz wasn't sure if she was excited or terrified. Possibly a mixture of both.

"Barry--"

"Just here to talk." Barry's voice was unnaturally tight. He had Lup, now, so most of his woes were gone, but there was still that whole thing about _erasing his family's memories_.  Kravitz didn't blame him for all the hard feelings, and was pretty impressed with how calm he looked on the surface. "Still sorting out all the brain mess regarding _this,_ just. I haven't decided if I'm pissed at you yet."

"Alright." Lucretia nodded once, accepted that. Seemed like she accepted most things thrown at her these days. Kravitz pulled Julia through the portal next, and Lucretia watched her cautiously. "And this is...?"

"Julia Burnsides," she said, not even bothering with the mask of friendliness. Her relationship with Lucretia wasn't as complicated as Kravitz' or Barry's--she was never friends with Lucretia, didn't get that time to know her. She started out day one not liking her, since she didn't know anything else.

"Burn--"

"Let's get one thing clear, I'm not just Magnus' wife and you're not going to treat me as such."  Julia folded her arms, a sharp look aimed right at Lucretia. "All I'm here for is to be an extra set of eyes for the rest of these guys. I'm technically on the clock right now, if you want to get nitpicky with it."

"It's still nice to meet you," Lucretia said, trying her best to make a good first impression.

Unfortunately, Julia was biased from the start, and didn't take any of that shit. "Would have been nicer to meet you if this all didn't happen."

Before Julia could go at Lucretia any farther, Kravitz brought Lup through the portal and all hell broke loose.

Lucretia's eyes lit up, happy to see Lup alive (or, as close as she could get). "Lu--"

"Lucretia, hi, so nice, so glad to see you--" Lup pushed past everyone else and destroyed the imaginary barrier between them and Lucretia's personal space. "But, hey, what the _fuu-uu-uck?"_

"Where were you?"

"No, hey, you can ask that after all this bullshit is over, okay?" Lup sat down opposite to Lucretia, as calm as she could be given her situation, and held out her hand insistently. "But, first thing's first: I need a vial of whatever piss is keeping Taako from not remembering me."

All of Lucretia's good humor melted away and she shook her head. "I can't just do that now."

"Remember the last time he forgot all about me?" Lup pointed her hand out once more, deadly eyes directed at Lucretia. She wasn't here to argue, or debate. Lup had a goal, and she was dead set on getting it. "If you've got any tact left, give me the piss."

"It's technically not piss--"

"I couldn't give any more of a shit right now!" She knocked her foot against the tea table, caused all of the decorations to shake and rattle. "You remember how messed up that made him after cycle twenty-nine, it took us a whole year to get him back in working shape! And even then, he was still fucky for half a decade after!"

"I can't give anybody back their memories right now, we need to see this whole mission through first." Lucretia lurched forward to stop Lup's kick from toppling over the entire tea set. "Once I can get the bubble up--"

Lup kicked a couple more times for emphasis. "The bubble that _could kill Julia and Kravitz forever--"_

"--we can get everything sorted out after that." Lucretia snapped her fingers and the table illuminated in a blue light. Immobile, now, immune from toppling. "I only need one more relic back, and then they can recover. I can't risk giving them back their memories now only to have them break apart before their most important mission."

Barry moved forward to join Lup at the sitting area. "And you think them _not_ remembering anything is going to help on this mission?"

"Any distraction to them will be horribly deadly." Lucretia tried her best to keep herself calm, but Kravitz could see where the cracks lied, where she wanted to more passionately defend her actions. "They will be thrown off if I hand them a vial and ask them to drink, and I don't know if they would go if they remembered this all."

"That's _fucking entrapment,_ then!" Lup couldn't stay sitting any longer, too restless. "You can't just steal away our whole family and make them do your plan, when we all _voted--"_

"That was over two decades ago." Lucretia stayed at the same quiet volume, but her voice filled the space just as much as Lup's shouting voice did. "We tried your plan, and it didn't work."

"Again, _our plan_ still didn't have the chance of murdering Kravitz, and now me and Barry and Julia!"

_"And_ their plan didn't involve sending our friends and family on dangerous missions while they weren't at full power." Kravitz stepped inside the little conversation space as if it were a wrestling ring and he was a natural Jeff Angel. "Taako's told me of some of the missions you sent him on; he could have been killed a hundred times over by now! This is too dangerous."

"Would you rather thousands of innocents die, then?" Lucretia asked, almost _smug,_ like she caught Kravitz in some logic trap that he couldn't get out of.

Nope, _nope,_ Kravitz did not want to take that. "I'm not--Lucretia, if you're asking me whether or not I'd rather have a thousand strangers or a _single_ member of the crew, I'm going to pick the crew. And--and if that seems selfish? You haven't been paying attention to me." Kravitz heard his own voice raising, could see the way Lucretia shrunk in on herself, but couldn't be bothered to care. "I'm not some demure person on your friend's arm, I'm not-- _I'm not nice!_ I'm the fucking _grim reaper,_ you know!" He waved his arms around wildly, a thought in the back of his mind that he must have looked stupid. But he was also too _pissed_ to care. "Death doesn't bother me, and I know better than to believe that sacrificing a few thousands innocents is worse than _allowing something like the Hunger to swallow a million realities."_

"It wasn't their decision to make," Lucretia said, attempting to gain the upper hand again, "you forced this solution onto this world."

"The _Hunger_ forced us to relive the same atrocities over and over again!" Kravitz was _not_ going to take this. None of them were to blame, this was a bad situation. If he were more in his right mind, he would think that Lucretia was just reacting to the situation in a different way, but his thoughts were clouded over in favor of avenging his friends and family. "The seven of you and I are the only ones in this plane that know the exact horrors that wait over on the other side of this plan's failure. Would you really rather them have to deal with that?"

"There are still too many casualties on the surface."

"Fine! That's my fault, let's say that," Lup said. She pulled Kravitz by the jacket until he fell down on the couch next to her and Barry, and leveled a glare at Lucretia. "And, you know, I'm not entirely opposed to letting everyone on the surface forget about the relics, that certainly took the death toll down a bit, but--you can't make the rest of _our team,_ our own fucking family, forget about _their own lives!"_

Lup stood from her seat and got right up in Lucretia's personal space. "And if you would have left it at the forgetting, I could see that." She pressed her hand into the back of the couch right by Lucretia's head, crowding her so she couldn't run. "But you know the second you brought two parts of the Light near each other, the scouts would have a larger chance of finding us."

"I blinked and I saw scouts all over the damn place," Kravitz added, "they're on us now!"

Barry finally snapped and lost his cool next. "Oh, and how you've banished us from your moon base? You didn't give us a chance to come and help you with this, either, you decided to do this all on your own for some reason."  He pointed to Davenport, who took a seat next to Lucretia and watched the whole scene with a blank face. "And, again, might I remind you-- _Davenport!_ Right there, look at him."

Davenport tilted his head to the side. "Davenport?"

"That's _enough!"_ Lucretia's voice echoed through the whole room, even louder than the Raven Queen's voice with the same effect. "I don't need you all to stand here and tell me what all I've done wrong!" She stood from her seat and moved to her desk, took her Bulwark staff in hand. "I am fully aware of how awful this has gone, but I need to work with what I have now. If that's a problem for you, fine, but I don't need a reminder of what mistakes I've made."

"Obviously you do, since we're here right now," Julia said, arms crossed. She didn't have much to say in the fight, since it wasn't hers, but she did deserve a potshot.

"Julia, stop." Barry took a quick glance around the room, a dull glow to his eyes. Trying to find traps. "I get the feeling that if we say anything wrong, we'll get holy-blasted or something."

"I wouldn't do that."

Barry leaned back into his seat. "Wouldn't you?"

"Not..." Lucretia gripped her staff tighter. "Not without fair warning."

Kravitz couldn't believe this. What the _fuck? "Lucretia!"_

Julia ran up to the rest of them and hit the back of the couch, spoke quickly and quietly enough for Lucretia not to hear. "I don't know about the rest of you, but I'm done playing with her, let's just--"

"Just what, Julia?" Lup simmered out a little. Forced herself to. She wanted to settle this, and as much as Kravitz didn't want to admit it, storming over there to attack Lucretia would do no good at all. "I mean, I get it, I--hate this too, but I'm not--Lucretia's basically our sister."

"Not so tough words from someone who just yelled into her face," Julia said, insistent, "we can end this right now."

"I don't want to end it like this." Lup put her hand on Barry's, looked him straight in the eye as a reminder. "We all promised we wouldn't go dark, and--even if Lucretia broke that, it doesn't mean we should."

Julia, not knowing the full history, just shrugged. "It's your family, I guess."

"We scared her enough to grab her staff, maybe we can actually negotiate now?" Kravitz took a moment from the meeting to calm himself down. If Lup could get herself in check, he could too. No use in flubbing this mission because of a bad temper. He had all the time to be angry later. "See if we can't get her to give us some of Fisher's water."

"The piss?" Lup asked.

"I don't care what it is, we need it to get everyone caught back up." Kravitz noticed Davenport waddling back over to Lucretia, clumsy in all aspects. Not at all like himself. "And I think Captain should be first, right? Look at that."

"Yeah, he needs it the most." Lup took in an unnecessary breath and stood from the couch, watched Lucretia with a calm and firm expression. "Lucretia, just--ugh, come on, put that staff down."

Lucretia shook her head. "I would love to, but if we're doing threats, I'm holding onto it as long as I need."

"Alright, that's fine..." Lup rolled her eyes, made a big show of how ridiculous she thought this was. "We'll talk from over here, okay?"

"If you're in the mood to talk." Lucretia didn't look like she wanted to budge. If she just trusted the four of them, maybe this wouldn't have gone so south. "It seems like you're just here to--to gum this all up."

"No promises, but we'll work with what you have now to try and fix all this." Lup waggled her finger in the air as she spoke, kept it all casual. The rest stepped back and let her do negotiations. Out of all of them, she used to be the closest to Lucretia, and had the best shot. "We can all yell at each other and put the blame on later, but for now there's a big angry vore man after us."

"Don't talk down to me like I'm a child," Lucretia said, angrier than before, "I know what you're doing. This isn't going to work on me. I'm _so_ close, I can't lose this now."

"I'm trying to understand you, really, I am, I just--" Lup stopped, and thought, and came back just as distressed. "Lucretia, you've gotta see that you're--that everything you've done hurt us, you know?"

"I...do." Lucretia held her staff close, but her shoulders relaxed. They found something to speak about that didn't result in shouts. "Don't you see that we've also hurt this world, though?"

"We have," Lup admitted, but she didn't stop there. "And, like I said, we'll do the whole morality conversation later, that's not what today is for." She moved backwards to clasp a hand on Julia's shoulder. "We need to get everyone's memories back so we can plan on how we're going to get out of this one. We'd strand Julia and Kravitz here if we left, so we need a better plan, and the sooner we can hash that out, the better it'll go."

Lucretia did not budge. "I can't do that."

"Yes you can, it's super easy." Lup mimed the motions in the air. "Scoop out a little bit of piss and slip it in their tea or whatever."

"It's not easy on their minds." She took a step to her desk. Didn't open any drawers or take out any weapons, but it still made the rest tense up in response. "And they need to be in top shape to collect the last relic."

"We could go collect the last relic," Barry suggested. "It's mine, isn't it?"

"I'm not sure liches would let four bounty hunters enter into their space alone. And I certainly can't go back there, not in my condition."

"We could just go on our own and get it back before you have the chance to send them off."

"You don't have an invitation." Lucretia pulled out a flyer from her desk and held it up. It was gaudy, sparkled, and bore the names of Taako, Magnus, and Merle. "There isn't a way you can get inside, they've evaded your kind for centuries."

Kravitz couldn't stand there and take this calmly anymore. He knew he should have stayed quiet, but too much frustration bubbled up. "You can't be bullheaded about this, Lucretia, these are our friends' lives we're speaking about!"

She paused. "I have a solution."

"Does that solution involve giving memories back to those who deserve it?" Kravitz asked. His words cut, he knew, and if Lucretia hadn't screwed him and his family over, he would have phrased that nicer. But here they were.

Lucretia wasn't much phased by his tone, though. "You can follow the three of them into Wonderland and help them retrieve the Animus Bell." She straightened her back, her words marching out of her mouth in perfect order, rank, and file. "Nobody at the Bureau will know about it, they will have an extra set of eyes on them for the mission, and you can all stay in contact with them."

Barry crossed his arms. "Or?"

She frowned, and then shrugged. "Or else I can turn the wards back on right now and force the ones in the dorm back on."

_"Lucretia,"_   Lup said, and gripped her head in frustration. They were _so close_ to diplomacy.

Julia materialized her scythe. "What the _fuck?"_

"I'm sorry, but those are my terms." Lucretia tapped her staff on the floor, eyes piercing straight through everyone. "I didn't come this far just to have it all pulled out now."

"Are you really okay with threatening your own family?" Julia asked, scythe still in hand.

"Look me in the eyes and tell me you're one hundred percent okay with the relics staying out in the world and allowing them to kill thousands of people on this planet." Lucretia spoke with a chill to her voice now, and it froze everyone who listened. "Even if you were, the scouts have already found us. We have nothing to lose by trying something else."

Lup stomped her foot into the ground. "Except the three of us--the _four_ of us, counting Julia, could be erased forever if it doesn't go right!"

"Even if you don't agree with me, you need to admit that it's too dangerous to keep the Light separated at this point. We'll need it for whatever solution we use." Lucretia doubled down more, didn't even flinch at Julia's threat and Lup's outburst. She played a role, now, and was so comfortable in it that it might have morphed into her own personality over the years. "You can say I fucked up, I won't argue with you, that's alright. But you need to see that, given the situation, this is all we can do at the moment."

None of them knew what to say in retaliation to that. On the one hand, Kravitz didn't want to hurt Lucretia, didn't want to go too far and burn the bridge between them. On the other hand, he _really, really did._ For all of the things she did to them, to him, to Taako. If it were up to Kravitz, he wouldn't know which route to take. Thankfully, Lup went ahead and made the decision for him.

"Fine." Lup let out a stiff breath. "We'll do this, we'll go along with the three of them, we'll go find the bell." She put up one finger. "One condition, though."

Lucretia shook her head. "You're not the one with conditions to give at this moment."

Lup didn't budge. "If we're still friends, even a little bit, I suggest you listen."

"Alright." Lucretia forced herself to relax. She loosened her grip on her staff. "I'm sorry. You're right. We're--not enemies, I should stop acting like we are. What is it?"

"Captain needs his memories back now, this is some sick shit." Lup gestured over to Davenport, who hadn't been participating in the conversation past a confused "Davenport?" every once in a while. "And Taako, Magnus, and Merle need to get theirs the _second_ we bring back the bell."

"You're right." Lucretia walked to the painting behind her desk and a secret passageway opened up behind it. "Come on, I...assume you'll want visual confirmation of this."

With a bit of hesitation, Kravitz and the rest followed her down a long hallway. Julia kept her scythe out in case she needed to slash them out of there, but Lucretia didn't make any moves to hurt them. Davenport followed behind them all, curious. She opened the doors at the end of the hall to reveal a baby voidfish in a little tank. Kravitz had half a mind to grab it and run, but he knew better than to piss Lucretia off at this very moment. She took a cup and swiped it through the tank.

"Davenport, come here." She held out the cup to Davenport. He took it, and then watched Lucretia with a confused tilt to the head. "Drink it," she said.

Davenport shrugged, and then he drank.

It took about a half second for the effect to kick in, but when it did, it kicked _hard._ Davenport held his head and stumbled backwards against the tank. Kravitz hung his head low. He knew this feeling. Not to the same magnitude Davenport felt it, but he had a vague clue of what was going on in his mind. Lucretia reached out to help him, but he shook his head and swat her hand away.

"Lu-- _fuh--"_    He tried to get a word out, anything, but nothing came forth.

Barry ran forward and caught Davenport before he could hit the floor. "Hey, bud, take it easy--"

"A hu--a hundred years, and you're ju--just calling me _bud_ now?" Davenport had trouble picking words out, sentences came out in a stumbling mess. But they were there, at least, pushed back up to the surface instead of forcibly locked away under static and confusion.

"Well, it, uh, didn't seem right before." Barry let out a light chuckle and helped Davenport keep a more steady balance. "Took me a while to get over the captain aura."

_"Fucking hell--"_ Another wave of nausea hit Davenport and he stumbled back into Barry's arms. "Lu--Lucretia, what have you _done?"_

Lucretia frowned. "Captain--"

"Du--don't _captain_ me, after all that--" He coughed, sputtered, wiped at his mouth. _"God,_ why does that have to taste so bad?"

"It's fish water, I can't flavor it." Seeing that it was useless to try and reason with Davenport, Lucretia turned her attention back to Lup. "It might take him a while to...get back on his feet. But. That's my end of the deal."

"Part of it, anyway." Lup ran past Lucretia and knelt down on the floor to hug Davenport. She probably did it a little too tight, judging by his squeak of surprise.

"Whoa--" Davenport wavered on his feet and held onto Lup like she was a buoy and he was lost at sea. "He-hey, uh, _ow--_ let's all, uh, give a guy some, space here--"

"Are you feeling alright?" Lup asked, pulled back just enough to let Davenport have some air.

"My head hurts like hell. You're--back? I don't--remember you leaving." He blinked, and then clutched his head again. "Lucretia, what _is_ all this?"

"I'm sorry, Davenport, but I--" Lucretia paused, unsure if she had any right to give an explanation. But Davenport glared at her like that's what he wanted, so she continued. "I couldn't edit around your life like the others, you...had a lot of care put towards the mission."

"Bad editing," he said, and coughed. "Sorry, all, I'd love to, uh do a better reunion, I'm just--"

Lup nodded. "You should lie down."

"I'll keep watch." Barry pointed off towards Kravitz and laughed once. "I had to do that a bunch of times for this goon, I know what I'm doing."

"Alright. I'll have the wards in Davenport's room taken down, it's--" Lucretia moved out the room, gesturing for Barry and Davenport to follow her. "Just over here."

"Thanks." Barry held out a hand for Davenport to take or leave. "C'mon, Captain."

"Uh, it's--" Davenport hung his head low and waved to the room. "Nice to see you again? I'll have--better words later."

"Of course." Lup smiled.

"Take your time," Kravitz said.

Davenport gave out one pained smile and took Barry's hand for the balance. The two of them left the secret room, and Lucretia hung back.

"I'll--leave this area unwarded, if you...want to discuss any of this more." Bold move of her, to unward the area where she stored the baby voidfish. Not like they could do anything about it, she'd probably call on her guards if they went to inoculate the rest of the group. "Nobody else in the Bureau uses this room, so it's...safe."

"Sorry, but I don't feel like dropping in for a friendly chat." Kravitz allowed his words to be harsh, now that Davenport was all squared away.

"I see." Lucretia looked disappointed, and Kravitz could not give any more of a shit if he tried. "Well, then...I hope we can beat this."

Julia stepped forward once, a threat. "If we can't, you'll be in a lot more trouble than you thought."

"I understand." Lucretia waved and then went out into the hall with Davenport and Barry. Left Julia, Lup, and Kravitz alone.

"Is this really okay?" Julia asked.

"It's fine," Lup insisted.

Julia didn't seem all that convinced, but she nodded. Her scythe materialized in her hands and she cut a rift. "I'll give you two some space," she said, and jumped through it.

Kravitz knew he and Lup should talk, but he didn't know what to say. He didn't have enough time to process his anger. He stood there with a melting pot of emotions, all of them negative. He used to think Lucretia was also a victim in this, that she was kidnapped or memory wiped and hidden away somewhere. He used to _worry_ about her. But here she was, living it up in this moon base with the Captain, took away _all his speech._ Forcibly executing the plan that everyone knew would backfire. And now, threatening to hurt them if they didn't cooperate with all this?

"I don't trust her." Kravitz couldn't take this any longer.

Lup shook her head. "I guess she had her reasons."

"You're allowed to be angry," he said, and it was less about letting Lup be angry and more about _him_ wanting to be. They didn't have to take this smiling, did they?

"Not yet." Lup smiled, elbowed Kravitz in the arm. "I want to focus on the Hunger first."

She cut a rift back to their apartment, leaving Kravitz alone in the room.

* * *

The Raven Queen rarely called in Kravitz, Julia, Barry, and Lup all at the same time. When she did, Kravitz knew she meant business. So when she called them all in a few months before Taako and the rest would be shipped off to Wonderland, his heart sank. He thought he could squeeze in some quality time with his boyfriend before they all went on a dangerous mission. Hoped he could get Taako and Lup in the same room somehow. But, with all four of them in the throne room, he could only imagine the months-long mission she needed to send them on. 

At first, she asked for progress reports from all four of them. Kravitz barely listened during Lup, Barry, and Julia's, and stumbled through his own. He knew his Queen could tell there was something wrong with him, but if she wanted to know she could ask him privately. Or she could take an educated guess. Kravitz was pretty transparent when it came to matters with Taako, to his own disappointment.

After all their routine business got out of the way, the Raven Queen turned her eye to Kravitz.

"Kravitz, you're only going to be on call for the next couple months." She looked over her beak to the rest of the team, her feathers ruffling as she spoke. "And that goes for the rest of you, as well."

The team was silent, and Barry was the only one able to form a single word. "What?"

"Something awful is on the horizon." Even without lips or a traditional face, Kravitz could see the worry in every motion from his Queen. Maybe because he was so well attuned to her, or perhaps it was a side effect of being her emissary for centuries. "I believe we'll be able to make it out alright, but...in case it doesn't, I think it's only fair to give the four of you some time."

"What about our bounties?" Kravitz asked, and he _knew_ that made him sound like a workaholic, but...he was.

"Activity has been fairly low lately. We've caught up on most of the bigger cases now that there are four of you. Not as bogged down as we used to be." Her voice turned more reassuring, like it always did when she needed to speak of personal matters. No matter what, she was interested in their lives and relationships, and was genuinely invested in their personal growth. "And besides, I hear you're going to investigate Wonderland with your family? We can say this is part of that mission. Bonding with the team is important."

Barry nodded and mumbled to himself, though it was echoed through the hall. "That's true, we've been trying to get into Wonderland for a while now..."

"Then that's your new mission." The Raven Queen clapped her hands (claws?) together and stood from her throne, towering over the team. "Do what you need up until then. You're dismissed." She tilted her head to the side and her voice sounded like a smile. "I hope we all come out of this as well as Istus believes we will."

Unsure of what else to do or say, Kravitz simply bowed. It was a safe bet. "Thank you, my Lady." 

The Raven Queen waited until the four were just about to leave before speaking once more. "And Kravitz? One more moment with you before you leave."

Kravitz looked to the rest of his friends. Barry gave him a halfhearted thumbs-up, Lup shrugged, and Julia just sucked some air through her teeth. Very reassuring. He allowed them to file out of the room before turning back to his Queen with a cautious look. "Yes, my Lady?"

"Don't have any fear, you aren't in trouble." Her voice was just a bit too teasing for Kravitz' liking, but he wasn't in the position to argue with her on that. "I only want to give you a reminder."

"Anything, my Queen." Even through his annoyance and his hesitance, he meant that. He took his goddess' word very seriously. She was the only reason he stood before her, at that very moment and on all other days. He believed in her with every thought in his mind, and trusted her more than he trusted himself.

"Take some real time for yourself for once, alright?" Still teasing, but with a serious edge, she moved away from her throne and stood at her full height in front of Kravitz. "I know you have served me for centuries, even if it wasn't me, specifically. For an emissary like you, I believe in you just as much as you do me."

The words came out of nowhere and Kravitz could only stand there, shocked and awed, but ultimately flattered. "Thank you, but--I'm the follower here, aren't I?"

"And what would I be without followers?" Now exasperated, she laid one clawed hand on Kravitz' shoulder and pressed on it gently. "Please, Kravitz, _rest._ If something pops up, ask someone else to take care of it."

"I...will keep that in mind." If something really weird happened, Kravitz knew he couldn't resist popping into work for a few hours.

"You will follow that," she said, backed with the force only a goddess could possess.

"Yes, my Queen." Kravitz cracked a smile. Couldn't stand to be intimidated by _that,_ she was basically insisting he take a vacation. And, as much as he'd like to fight over his right to stay a workaholic, he did like the idea of spending an extended period of time with Taako. So it wasn't much of a fight with her. He'd take what he could get. Kravitz took a few steps backwards, inched closer to the exit. "I'll go do that now. Resting."

The Queen nodded and fell back into her throne. She didn't have to walk to it, all she needed to do was sit down and the room edited around her to allow her to sit. "Tell your fiancé I said hello."

"He's not my fiancé right now," Kravitz reminded her.

"But soon." The Raven Queen folded her arms/wings/claws on her lap. Her book where she wrote bounties appeared before her, and she used magic to flip through it. Her attention torn from Kravitz. "I will see you later."

Kravitz bowed once more and left the room. He found the rest of his team walking down the hall to their apartment. Why they didn't just portal to the apartment, Kravitz had no idea. He knew that Barry liked to take the long way sometimes, to keep any scrap of humanity he still had. It sure made it easier to find them in the hall, at this very moment, so Kravitz quietly thanked them for that. He ran to catch up with them, catching the three in mid-conversation.

"We're going to the moon base, right?" Lup counted off on her fingers as she spoke. "I need to see the moon, and also my brother, and also the rest of the stink team."

Julia snorted. "I would ask you not to rope in Magnus as a 'stink team' member, but I know him well enough that he absolutely belongs there."

"You need to change your construct before we go." Kravitz moved faster so he wasn't trailing so far behind them. He liked being at the head of the herd. "It might hurt Taako's mind to see you looking exactly like him."

"Oh, right." Lup stopped, her feet stuttering below her.

Barry was the first one to turn and check on Lup. "You okay, babe?"

"Just fine." Lup forced herself forward, although it was slower than she moved before. "It'll all blow over soon, it's...just kind of a shitty reunion."

Julia pat her on the back as she passed. "You can have a better one later."

"You're right. It's just...you know." Lup picked up speed and was at the front with Kravitz now, and he could see the shakiness in her features. Before he could ask about her, though, Lup slung an arm around his shoulder and grinned up madly at him. "But for now, I have a pretty good disguise, if you're up for it."

"By all means," Kravitz said.

"You called Barry your brother-in-law, right?"

Uh oh. That twinkle in Lup's eye never meant anything good.

The four of them arrived at the dorm while it was empty. Julia had the run of the place, had gotten permission from all three of the group because of her relationship with Magnus. She'd come over after her shifts before Magnus before, it wasn't anything new for her to be alone in the dorm without the rest. And Kravitz stayed over a few times. So, technically, they weren't breaking in.

Or, at least, it wouldn't be if Lup could sit still and wait in the common room.

"Hey, I'm gonna check out Taako's room." Lup sprung up from her seat and moved to Taako's door. For a moment, Kravitz wondered how she knew which one was his, but. Right. She lived here too, indirectly, for a little while. "You want in?"

"I don't want to invade his privacy," Kravitz said, following Lup to the door as if he could deter her from entering.

"I'm his sister, and it's basically my job to invade his privacy, so." She swung the door open and disappeared through it. "Your own loss."

Kravitz lasted all of two seconds alone outside the room before he followed her in.

Taako's room was always two shades more of a mess than Kravitz could handle. That never changed even when they shared a room. Kravitz was more than accustomed to it now--after learning that the actual base of the room was clean, just disorganized, he wasn't bothered much by it. No bugs or rats made their home in his space, the worst part was that it was hard to find a specific thing sometimes. But Taako had a knack for knowing exactly where everything was at all times, so it wasn't even like that was a problem.

Kravitz always kept his things more organized, but Taako's space was none of his business.

Ever since Kravitz started to spend nights there, though, it was a tad less hectic. Like Taako wanted to impress him. It was cute that he tried so hard, even after he learned that he had a secret history with Kravitz. None of this new information scared him off. If anything, it made Taako more affectionate whenever they met up. Kravitz' mind swarmed with thoughts of how he'd spend his off time with Taako, now that he had a lot of it.

"Glad to see you've joined the party," she said, snapping Kravitz out of his own thoughts. She held a transmutation book in her hands, skimmed through the pages with a lazy eye.

"I've been in here before, there's really nothing he didn't already keep in here." Kravitz pointed and gestured to a couple points of interest. "Secret snack drawer, lots of components, all the works. It's not terribly interesting."

Lup shut the book and a layer of dust poofed out of it. "He has a secret snack drawer?"

"You didn't know? I thought you'd see that in the umbrella." Kravitz dropped his jaw in horror. Now Taako would definitely find out that they snooped in his space. "Oh, shit. He's going to kill me."

"Nah, I'm playing around. Snack drawer was my idea." Lup let the book drop to the floor, and Kravitz would chastise her for being careless, but he'd seen Taako do the exact same thing three days ago. She turned her attention to the closet. "A Lup™ original."

Kravitz gawked. "How did you make that sound with your mouth?"

"You mean ™?" Lup opened the closet door and inspected its contents.

"What the _fuck,"_ Kravitz said, in awe of that weird mouth sound. It had no description. He had no way of replicating it.

Lup didn't entertain that any farther. She frowned at the open closet door. "His wardrobe's all fucked up, you know."

Taako and Lup had two very different styles, mostly by necessity. Transmutation wizards often had lots of extra layers, in case they needed to rip off some fabric in a pinch. It was always handy to have some extra transmutable material on hand, even if it ruined an outfit. And in the worst of pinches, they could transmute the base layer into an armored material. Evocation wizards had to wear more practical things, nothing loose or hard to move in. Hair pinned back, function over form. Lup still made it look good. It wasn't Kravitz' style, but he also wasn't dating Lup.

"Really?" Kravitz didn't see anything wrong with the closet, it was business as usual. "I've only seen him in the same style of things he's always been in. You know, eighteen layers, none of them matching."

"I guess it's the same." She huffed and closed it, threw a shirt that laid on the knob over it so Taako wouldn't notice it was tampered with. "It's just--missing the jacket and the robe. And all his duplicates. And the stuff we collected over the years."

"We don't have much longer with this," Kravitz said, more of a reminder to himself than to Lup. "We're watching him until his mission, and then we'll get him back."

"I know, it's just..." She looked at the floor. "It's been a long time."

It was a rare thing to see Lup this beat up, but given her situation, it would be weird if she wasn't. Kravitz still didn't know how to properly comfort her, she never let him in that close, but he could try. "I was a little jealous when I saw you and Barry reunite."

"Understandable." She punched him in the arm. "You'll get yours."

"I know. I still get to see him in the meantime, so I'm counting that as a win."

"Julia!" Magnus' voice carried out from the other room, big and booming and ecstatic. "Shouldn't you be at work?"

Lup and Kravitz shared a look and both rushed to the bedroom door.

They found the Tres Horny Boys (Kravitz still couldn't believe that was their group name) in the common area with Julia and Barry. Magnus had his arms around Julia. If she were living, he'd probably crush her. Nobody seemed to realize Lup and Kravitz walked in yet, so they both hovered by the door.

"We're only on call for these next couple of months," Julia said, her arms crashed around Magnus' just as tight as his were around her. "I figured I'd crash here for the time being. If that's okay. Which I'm sure it is."

"Hell yeah it is!" Magnus spun her around a couple times, as he did most times when  "We've been going through the worst training lately, this is--ugh, probably the only good surprise."

"Oh, hey babe!" Taako spotted Kravitz and ditched his other two companions to rush over to him. "Were you in my room?"

Lup ducked back into Taako's room before he could get too close. Kravitz wasn't sure what brought on this sudden bout of shyness. Maybe she just wanted to have a better moment of introduction He did not have much time to think on that, since his arms were full of Taako seconds later. Neither of them were a big fan of public displays of affection, but he'd greet Taako with a warm embrace and a quick kiss on the cheek no matter how many people watched.

"We spilled some Fantasy Cheerwine, I don't know where you keep your towels." Kravitz didn't like lying to Taako and didn't like snooping, but he could apologize for all of that later. When Taako could comprehend _why_ Lup would barge into his room.

"Uh, dude, bathroom." Taako, thankfully, did not cast suspicion towards that, and instead laughed. "Been dead for so long you forgot how organization works."

"It's not like I have a bathroom at my place."

Taako moved out of Kravitz' arms and scanned his eyes around the floor. "Where's the Cheerwine, then? Don't want it to stain."

"Well--"

"I cleaned it up with Prestidigitation." Barry waved his hand in the air and watched Kravitz over the rim of his glasses. "That's what you get for not learning basic cantrips, Kravitz."

"Aw, man, you had Cheerwine in here without us?" Merle sat his butt on the couch, moped about the loss of Fantasy Cheerwine.

Barry shrugged. "We can get you more."

"So, uh, what's all this about?" Taako turned his attention back to Kravitz, his smile wicked and hopeful all at the same time. "You just dropping Julia off, or...does that sweet vacation time also apply to you?"

"I am also only on call."

"Hell yeah!" Despite his distaste for public affection, Taako did reach up to kiss Kravitz for a split second. Kravitz didn't have much time to reciprocate, but it still forced a smile out of him.

"And, uh..." Merle turned to Barry and waggled his brows. "You got anything for ol' Merle out here?"

It took a lot to make Barry Bluejeans (the guy who liked to look at blood samples for fun) disgusted. "I'm married, no."

"Yeah, I'm also here," Lup said, and moved out of Taako's room. Taako tore his attention away from Kravitz and put it all on Lup.

Merle licked his lips in the grossest way possible, especially given the context. "Well, you're not too bad looking yourself, if you wanted to..."

"Mm-mm, nope, not on your life." Lup turned her attention to Taako, and the two immediately locked in on a silent staring contest. Taako was suspicious of this new person, and Lup needed to know if her brother was alright.

Kravitz decided to break the awkward silence and stepped over to Lup. He put one hand on her back and extended the other towards Taako, physically bridging the gap between the two. "Taako, I want you to meet my twin sister, Lup."

Lup had, in fact, edited her construct to look related to Kravitz. There were differences, of course--they wanted to play as fraternal twins. Lup claimed it would be too awkward otherwise. It was a weird edit, too. She looked like Lup, but her face was different. She borrowed features from Kravitz, like his lips and his nose and the ridge of his brow. Her skin was darker. But the spirit of Lup was still there, only visible if you knew she was in disguise. Same height, weight, everything. If Kravitz wasn't in the room with her, they wouldn't look nearly as similar. She did her hair in box braids to look more like Kravitz on a superficial level, but otherwise, she was Lup.

Taako's suspicion blipped right off his face. If anything, he looked relieved. "Oh, shit, you found her?"

"Yes, um, a little while back." For no reason, Kravitz felt a bit embarrassed. There wasn't a way for him to tell Taako about Lup before. It felt weird to hide her return from him, but there wasn't a good way to introduce the two previously. "I'm sorry I didn't tell you, it was before we started dating, and...there wasn't really a great way to bring it up."

"I mean, fair." Taako stepped forward and held out his hand. "Uh, yeah, so I'm Taako, I--"

Lup did not shake it, and instead opted to throw an evil look in Kravitz' direction. "I know, Kravitz blabs about you all the time."

"Oh yeah?" Taako's grin turned wicked. "What does he say?"

She smiled. "That you're a kickass chef and you have the coolest umbrella."

"Hell yeah, it's one of the coolest things I own," Taako said, and Kravitz had to hold back a laugh as he remembered how hard he teased Lup about her goofy umbrella. "I mean, it doesn't have a lich inside it anymore, so it's lost a couple'a cool points."

"Oh, for sure." Lup nodded along. Kravitz must have had a stern look on her face, because she rolled her eyes and corrected herself. "Except it's sort of my job to take out liches and stuff like that, so, uh, don't...get any other cursed items?"

"Not planning on it." Taako stepped back to see Kravitz and Lup. His finger bounced in the air between them and he muttered, "you don't look exactly alike."

"Fraternal," Kravitz explained.

"Right...forgot those existed." Taako took another glance between the two of them and winked at Kravitz. "No offense, but I think I snagged the prettier one."

Lup elbowed Kravitz. "He's also the dumber one."

Taako didn't seem to mind this. "I'm a morosexual, it's fine."

"What the hell is a morosexual?" Lup asked.

"It means I'm attracted to morons," Taako answered, a little too proud of himself.

"I'm not a--"

"You forgot where _towels_ were." Taako reached up and kissed his cheek, pat him on the back. Lup laughed and moved to greet the rest. Before Kravitz could go to join her, Taako held him back and whispered in his ear. "It's alright, babe, I'm _joking."_

"I know," Kravitz said, fond. He moved to join the rest of the group, and Lup settled herself right in the middle the action. She kept her focus on Taako, and he was aware of her eyes on him. He didn't seem to mind, although he kept his chin up and was on his best behavior. Kravitz smiled, knowing that if he had other family, Taako would care enough to make a good impression.

Merle snapped his head towards Lup and pointed at her. Genuinely offended. "What, and you're not gonna introduce her to us?"

"Of course I am." Kravitz gestured toward Lup. "This is Lup."

Magnus pouted and crossed his arms. "Well, way to make it special for _us."_

"I think it's pretty different introducing my sister to my boyfriend than to the two of you."

"You're dating Taako?" Merle asked, mouth agape, like it was some big surprise.

"He...hugged me when I walked in." Kravitz took Taako's hand and laced their fingers together, just to make a point. "What did you think we were?"

Merle shrugged. "Swingers?"

Kravitz took fourteen points of psychic damage and tried to purge that thought from his mind. "I really, truly despise you, Merle."

Julia whacked the side of her seat. "So it's cool if they all crash here, too?" she asked Magnus, as if there was any uncertainty.

"Of course it is!" Magnus held her hand, nodding along, and then realized it wasn't totally his decision to make. He shot puppy-dog eyes at Merle and Taako. "It is, right?"

"Oh, you better believe I'm keeping this one here." Taako wrapped his arm around Kravitz' and pulled him close. "And I'm fine with the rest of 'em too, they're your family. Gotta make them like me."

"I'm sure they'll love you," Kravitz whispered, and he felt Taako's grip on him tighten.

"Fine, I guess it's okay." Merle swung his head all around, overdramatic and whining. "Nobody ask for ol' Merle's opinion."

"You can kick us out if you want," Barry said.

Merle spoke in a _I'm going to overdramatically act like this isn't an inconvenience but it totally is, it's impossible to tell if I'm joking or not_ voice. "No, no, I'm sure I can sleep on the couch."

Lup pat the couch. "We don't really need to sleep, Barry and I can chill out in here at night."

Magnus gasped and pointed at Julia accusingly. "If you don't need sleep, what have _you_ been doing at night?"

"Don't _need_ it, doesn't mean I can't have a good rest with my husband."

Julia and Magnus and everyone else bickered about the logistics of sleeping while dead for a couple minutes. Kravitz wanted to jump in and settle the misinformation flowing out of Merle's mouth like a river, but then Taako had a hand on his arm.

"Hey," he whispered, and nudged his head in Lup's direction. "Do I know her?"

"Yes." Kravitz had long since dropped the pretense that he could hide anything from Taako. They'd have another difficult conversation about Lup later, he knew, but for now he just wanted the two of them to get along. "She's very important to you."

"Thought so." Taako cleared his throat and raised his voice. Whatever chatter about the sleeping situation died down once Taako spoke again. "Listen, we were gonna run over to the mess hall, but...I know all that food sucks, and mine's way better, and I want to knock my boyfriend's sister off the fucking floor."

"I'm a hard sell for good food, y'know." Lup folded her arms like she was the host on Fantasy Hell's Kitchen taking food-related glamour shots. "I'm also a chef."

"Thought you were a bounty hunter." Geez, did Taako have to be suspicious of everything?

"What, and you can be a chef and do whatever the fuck this job is at the same time?" Lup turned her head away from Taako in a faux-aloof attitude. Hard to tell if she was copying Taako or making fun of him. Most likely both. "I've got layers, you know."

"Point taken." Taako stood. "Any requests?"

"Not anything specific, but I'll have to warn you..." Lup got up uncomfortably close to Taako, just as threatening as she was that first time she could speak to Kravitz with all his memories. "If you don't do it right, I'll force my baby brother to dump you."

"You would not," Kravitz said, annoyed.

"I definitely would."

"She wouldn't."

"I swear, I will."

"Lucky for both of us, I know what I'm doing." Taako looked her up and down. He must have had suspicions about his relationship with her, but he had no way of knowing how the two of them operated before. Kravitz had the feeling he wanted to impress Lup, though, that there was some inkling in there that the two of them were close. "Actually, you wanna help out? Give me some funny and embarrassing stories about baby Kravitz while we're at it?"

"Hell yeah!" Lup clapped her hands together once. "What's on the menu?"

"Dumplings." Taako brightened up like he always did when someone got him to talk about something he really cared about. "Because we all know the best food happens when you wrap a bunch of food in carbs and steam it or fry it."

"That's definitely the truth." Lup vibrated with excited energy, unable to wait to cook with her brother any longer. "Come on!"

Lup grabbed Taako and the two of them ran into the kitchen. They fell right back into place, even though Taako didn't know her and Lup stumbled around the static. It wasn't perfect, it wasn't exactly the way it used to be, but it was a start.

* * *

It wasn't that big of an adjustment for the four of them to stay in the dorm. 

Kravitz spent years living with Taako, and since he told Taako as much as he could about their past, they were able to settle back into a familiar pattern. Taako swore he slept better with Kravitz there. He could only make theories as to why, but Kravitz nodded and helped him along when he could. Taako was very curious about their previous relationship and often tried to goad Kravitz into telling him more. Usually, that ended in static, but he seemed to get some enjoyment out of Kravitz' flustered explanations.

Even though he wasn't happy with how Lucretia ran this joint, Kravitz felt more calm. Extended rests with Taako benefited the both of them, and it was just as nice to walk out into the common area to see Magnus and Merle, too. All of the animosity from the crystal mission was gone, replaced with a shadow of the trust they all had for each other before. Merle didn't hold any grudges against Barry, but still held one against Magnus for chopping off his arm. They all loved Lup and Julia, too. Julia wasn't an original member of their little group, but she fit right in. Kravitz thought it was charming to see how her and Magnus operated. They worked well individually, but sparks shot off both of them when they went on a task together. That was the best kind of relationship, in Kravitz' mind.

The best part, though, was watching Lup and Taako interact.

Taako only knew that he _knew_ Lup. He also knew about Barry, but he put a little more effort towards Lup. He confessed to Kravitz one night that he felt more drawn to Lup than to Kravitz. All he could do was reassure him that he wasn't jealous, that he knew Lup and Taako would be more close. Their relationship was important, and Kravitz would never think to stand in the way of it. It did confuse Taako more, because he didn't see the logic that he'd be more friendly with his boyfriend's sister than his actual boyfriend, but he dropped that line of thought before it could harm him.

But the two of them got to interact in a semi-normal fashion. They spent Taako's free time together (at least during the day--Taako insisted he needed to cuddle up with Kravitz at night). During game nights, they'd team up to try and take down the rest, and often won. They blathered incessantly to each other, bombarded each other with questions and stories and ten years of catching up. Lup even took some time out to try and help Taako through his poisoning hiccup. The fact that his subconscious trusted Lup enough to let her in on that astounded Kravitz. Bonds were powerful things. Lup stuttered a few times, almost told Taako that she lived in the umbrella for a solid amount of time, but Taako couldn't hear enough through the static to understand a word she said.

Barry and Kravitz took the time the twins used to bond to hang out together. It was refreshing to talk about something that _wasn't_ the twins, now that they knew they were both safe. They both tried their best not to talk about work, but they were both anxious about the Hunger. Most of their conversations veered off into theories on how they would stop it. Kravitz was not a scientist, but he was happy enough to be a blank wall Barry could vent to. If that was the way he could help, then, _fuck,_ he'd listen to Barry all day. He'd probably do that anyway. The man had a lot of interesting things to say.

There were long stretches of time where Taako, Magnus, and Merle went off to training, or errands, or whatever the fuck else they did with their lives now. Kravitz and the rest couldn't move around the moon base, Lucretia refused to take the wards down. Didn't trust them enough for that yet. If she ever would. Kravitz wasn't very good at being a homebody, so he often portaled out of the dorm to get some air. Lup joined him most times. She wanted to see what this plane had to offer. They had their hearts on saving it, but she didn't get the chance to see it as in-depth as the rest of them had. It was nice, these little excursions, because they didn't have to worry about static and didn't have to beat around the bush to get to their own meaning. It was a nice break, and Kravitz forgot how much he liked spending time with Lup.

Julia wanted to explore the moon base. They couldn't, of course, but Julia swore once the wards were down, she'd be all over the moon with Magnus. He plotted out different places to take her once this all blew over. Taako suggested they take a trip out to the Chug n' Squeeze, and Magnus poked fun at him for trying to set up a double date. Julia laughed, said it wasn't really her style, but they'd check it out. She would love to go anywhere on the moon, Kravitz knew. Anywhere that wasn't the dorm, as nice as it was.

There _was_ one other place on the moon they could visit, though.

"Thanks for stopping by," Davenport said, reaching outward to receive the little package Kravitz made for him every time he visited. Davenport had to pretend to be bedridden so the rest of the Bureau didn't form suspicions over his extended vocabulary, but he hated the limited space. His room was nice, but small, befitting a gnome. But Davenport was a gnome that liked a lot more open space, so it didn't fit him. Lup and Kravitz took him out when they could, but Lucretia usually followed them too, and they really wanted to keep their distance from her.

"It's the least I can do." Kravitz set a bottle of wine in between them, and Davenport moved to grab a deck of cards. That was how he liked to pass time with the captain the most. It helped with his rehabilitation--gave him something to think through, let him sift through his memories at a calmer pace as they played. "Baccarat today?"

"About all I'm up for today." Davenport uncorked the wine bottle and poured Kravitz' glass before his own.

Baccarat was easy on the captain because Kravitz did most of the work. He took on the banker side, so all Davenport had to do was bet. On some of his better days, they played more involved games, but Lucretia wasn't kidding about the memory flood hurting their brains. Davenport would probably be better later, but the recovery took longer than anyone hoped it would. Kravitz shuffled the stack of cards Davenport kept in his room and set up.

"There are some coconut oatmeal cookies in the box this time." Kravitz reached over to take a sip of his wine. "Taako made them."

"Does he know who I am?" Davenport popped open the package and took a cookie out. "He didn't know these were my favorite, did he?"

"No, I told him you liked them." Kravitz stole one of the cookies. Davenport gave him a surly look, but it was Kravitz' delivery fee. "He knows something's up, I can only give him hints."

"It's a weird feeling." Davenport pulled the care box closer to him so Kravitz couldn't steal any other cookies. "Like you're aware you're missing something, but you can't comprehend what it is."

Kravitz knew his face was all knotted up in confusion. He understood the feeling of missing someone, but not the inability to grasp it. These were two different feelings, and he wasn't in the position to pretend that he knew what Davenport felt. All he could do was listen. "Do you still feel like that now?"

"I think it's just a side effect." Davenport took out a breath, collected his words. It took him longer to think up a sentence now, just a half second, but the hesitance was very clear. "It does help to have a good chat about it. I can't get anything out of Lucretia."

"She probably feels guilty."

"She should be," he said, voice stern, "at least a little."

"Are you mad at her?" Kravitz asked, a little too eager. He was still mad at her. He was unsure if he'd ever stop being mad at her. She took away his family and friends and fiancé, that wasn't something that he could brush past with a group hug and the end of the Hunger. If they _were_ at the end. Lup and Barry weren't as angry as he thought they would be, as he thought they _deserved_ to be. They focused their energy on their Hunger-ending strategy. Julia was angry, but she didn't understand the full scope of it all. Kravitz needed a good vent, and if Davenport was angry...well, that'd be a good back-and-forth.

"I'm not mad at _her,_ I'm mad at her decisions." Davenport finished off his wine and poured another. "I don't know if that makes any sense. It works in my head."

"We've all done dumb and desperate things to cope." Kravitz slumped in his seat. Great. Davenport _also_ wanted to take the high road. "Just that her dumb and desperate thing might be the thing that kills us."

He raised a brow. "You sound more upset than I'd thought."

Kravitz huffed. "You don't sound as upset as _I'd_ thought."

"I guess--" His mustached scrunched up as words churned through his head. He set down his glass. "I'm just tired, Kravitz. I don't have the energy to yell about this.

"Fair enough." Kravitz picked the stack of cards back up. He wouldn't start the game yet, but the two were almost ready. "Are you feeling better lately?"

"Not today, obviously, but..." For the first time in a while, Davenport smiled. "Overall, I think I'm on the up and up."

"That's good to hear." Kravitz shuffled the cards once more. "Did you want to bet on anything today?"

"I don't have much currency from this world. Lucretia says she's going to give me backpay, but I haven't gotten it yet."

Kravitz made a note to himself to bully Lucretia about that backpay until it got into the captain's hands. "We can bet on something else, if you'd like."

"Oh, no." He laughed so hard his whole body shook with force. "I know not to get into a bet with _you."_

"Who told you?" Kravitz smiled, and dealt out the first hand. "Alright, just a casual game."

And, like most of the games the two of them played, it turned out not to be as casual as they first intended it to be.

* * *

Kravitz opened the door one morning to find a tiny elf boy. 

"Good morning!" Angus said, eyes bright with too much energy for eleven in the morning on a Saturday. His secondary bracer was nowhere to be seen, and he leapt forward to greet Kravitz.

"Angus! It's good to see you again." Kravitz knelt down to receive Angus' hug. He didn't visit too often, but he already attached himself to Kravitz. Most likely because Kravitz didn't hide his fondness for the boy under eight layers of blunder like Taako, Magnus, and Merle did. He also loved mysteries, and Kravitz was one of the biggest mysteries he'd ever seen so far. This was good, because Kravitz would be heartbroken if Angus didn't like him. "Taako and Magnus aren't here, but you can come in, if you'd like."

"I know, sir! They're in training right now to prepare for the next relic!" Angus got out his little detective notepad. "The Director actually sent me here to try and make sense of this extra static."

"That's a very big mystery, but I'm sure you can hammer some cracks into it." Kravitz could see this as Lucretia's olive branch. That she was willing to start telling her base that bounty hunters weren't dangerous wizards that made horrible artifacts. He wasn't sure whether he'd accept this peace offering, but he would never turn down time with this kid. He was growing on him. "Come on in, there are a few more people to meet."

Angus removed his shoes and stepped into the dorm, chattering on the whole way through. "I heard Magnus' wife was here, and also your family?"

"Yes, all of them."

"Are they also dead?" Boy, this kid really liked to ask the tough questions.

"Yes, but I swear we aren't dangerous." No need to be coy about it when Lucretia knew and approved of their presence at the dorm.

"The Director knows that you all visit here now, so it can't be that dangerous." Angus glared at him over the ridge of his glasses, in a move that was probably meant to be intimidating but was _incredibly_ adorable. "And if it is, I'll make sure to tell her."

"I'm sure you will." Kravitz led Angus into the common room, and waved at Julia once he found her there. "Angus, this is Julia."

Julia blinked a few times at first sight of the boy, like she had trouble seeing. "Kravitz, did you go and have a kid?"

"No!" Sure, Kravitz would not _object_ to having a kid, and he certainly liked Angus, but there was no way that could have happened. Angus was too old, and also a full elf, and _fuck, shit, the thought of that did heat up his face to the temperature of a living man._   "What the fu--heck, Julia?"

"You can swear in front of me," Angus said.

Kravitz nodded. "Then, what the fuck?"

"I don't know, he's an elf and he's got the same hair coils you do?" Julia shrugged, like this wasn't a big deal. "Doesn't look much like you anywhere else, but, maybe he inherited everything else from the other side?"

"No, ma'am, my father hasn't spoken to me in a couple years!" Angus said all of this as if he was recounting the weather, and not some part of a tragic backstory. "And my grandpa passed away just a half a year ago!"

Julia slumped her shoulders, guilty for bringing it up. "I'm sorry, Angus."

"It's alright, he was very old, even for an elf." Angus didn't seem sad about this at all. It was just a fact of his own life. "He forgot his own name!"

"That'd be awful and confusing," Barry said, walking into the common room with Lup. They both took in this new addition to the living space with varying levels of comfort. Barry never knew how to speak with kids, so he hung out by the edge of the room. Lup was just as charmed by the boy as Taako was, but a touch more open about it. This technically wasn't her first time meeting Angus, although it was the first time she had her own body to greet him.

"Hey, little man, I'm Lup." She walked over to Angus and shook his little hand. "Kravitz' sister. The cool one."

"Do you also work for the Raven Queen?"

"Uh--" Lup looked to Kravitz first. He nodded. There was no need for her to lie. "Yeah?"

"You sound unsure." Angus put his hands on his hips and inspected Lup more thoroughly. "Ma'am, if you lie to me, I don't think this investigation will go very well on your end."

"Oh man." Lup pointed at the boy. "Kravitz? I love this kid already."

"Angus, please don't threaten my sister." Kravitz knew Angus kind of trusted him, he figured he could be the voice of reason and settle this whole thing down. "She and Julia and Barry and I all have the same job, and we're not here to harm anybody on the base."

"I'll have to see for myself, won't I?" Angus clicked his pen and tapped it on his notebook. "Just a few questions."

_Just a few questions_ turned into a couple hours of frustrated interrogation. Of course, they couldn't tell Angus much of anything. He came up with pretty good ways around each question, very creative. That still didn't help out with his inability to make connections between two obvious points of logic. Angus seemed to hate not knowing things, didn't like the ability of critical thought taken away from him. They didn't get anywhere with his line of questioning, and it only served to make Angus snippy and frustrated. It was a lot easier to see how young he was like this, coming at a problem like most kids would.

Thankfully, they found a different target for Angus to direct his skills to.

"Merle!" Lup waved, and caught Merle on the edge of the room in a bad attempt to sneak out of the dorm. What did he think would happen? He had stealth disadvantage. "Where're you going?"

"Ah, well, y'know, just some business on the surface." Merle stroked his beard and smiled way too smugly. "Gonna do some _waxing."_

The general consensus was _that's gross_ and _get out of here!_ so Merle waddled out without much else fanfare. Angus abruptly called off his investigation and ran out the dorm. Kravitz didn't even wait to hear reactions from the rest before rushing out. Sure, he'd only seen the boy a few times, but he was still very concerned about his well being. He caught Angus before he got into the elevator.

"Angus, where are you going?"

"Sir, doesn't that seem suspicious to you?" When Kravitz didn't immediately answer, Angus clarified. "What Merle said?"

"It does." Kravitz folded his arms and frowned, deep in thought. "I've seen him without his clothes on, he doesn't wax _anything."_

"Gross." Angus stuck out his tongue. "I was talking about, y'know, more of his behavior."

"Oh, uh..." Shit. Kravitz didn't notice anything wrong with Merle. He just seemed like the same old goofball to him. "You must have a better insight modifier than I do, then."

"I don't even think you have an insight modifier." Angus rolled his eyes, and if it wasn't directed at Kravitz, he would have thought that was a charming kid thing. "D'you think we should follow him? I'm not getting anywhere with this static."

"Why would we follow him?"

"He goes out every month on the same day." Angus flipped his notebook to a little handwritten calendar. It mostly tracked Merle's movement, but there was a little bit of Kravitz and the Director in there, too. There was also some corporate retreat written down, and all of Angus' magic lessons. "It seems like a secret mission."

"That's very suspicious." Kravitz had the feeling that if he didn't investigate this, Angus could hurt himself trying to do it on his own. "We can wait a bit and then I can teleport to his location."

"Can I come, too?"

"If it isn't dangerous."

Angus' disposition turned sour. Geez, this kid _really_ hated getting talked down to. "I've been in plenty of dangerous situations, you don't have to baby me."

"I'm not babying you, I just like to see you safe, Angus," he said, and really meant it. He did care about the feelings of this kid, even if he didn't know him very well.

"Oh." For a moment, the kid stood there dumbstruck. Like he wasn't expecting Kravitz to explicitly say something so nice. God. Kravitz had half a mind to run to Taako and tell him to treat this boy nicer. "Well, if that's all, then I guess it's fine!"

"Let's find you some lunch and then we can spy on Merle."

Kravitz could tell the general area Merle went to, knew he was on the trajectory to Neverwinter. So he went out with Angus to a little sandwich shop next to a public park. It was nice, and he got to hear a bunch of theories about Merle from Angus, but Kravitz felt distracted the whole way through. Where _was_ Merle going once a month? That was oddly suspicious behavior for a guy that didn't have any shame. Merle didn't usually keep secrets. Still, he tried to focus on his nice little outing with Angus. It was a chance to get to know the boy better (even though Taako insisted Angus wasn't his kid, they _were_ friends, and Kravitz wanted to make a good impression on Taako's friends).

After they finished lunch, Kravitz noticed Merle's soul signature was right outside the restaurant, out in the park. Angus and Kravitz snuck on the outskirts of the park, ducking behind trees and bushes so Merle wouldn't see them. He was with two younger dwarven kids. A boy with a hamburger beanie that was in the middle of trying to wrestle Merle to the ground and a girl with stick-straight red hair and glasses that very vocally expressed her discomfort for this. Angus gasped, and Merle looked off in their direction. Kravitz couldn't duck out of the way fast enough.

"Okay! I see ya!" Merle got out his Adamantium Spanner and raised it in the direction of Angus and Kravitz' hideout. "Come on out!"

"I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry!" Angus ran out of the bushes with his hands in the air, like this was some kind of hostage situation. "I knew you were going out on secret missions, and I just got so panicked about it--"

"Sorry, Merle." Kravitz stepped more calmly out of the hiding spot and placed a hand on Angus' shoulder to stop his rambling. "I didn't know you were out with your children."

Angus gawked. "You have children?"

"Kind of let the cat out of the bag there, didn't 'ya?" Merle glared at Kravitz and huffed. "Yes, fellas, these're...my kids. This is Mavis--"

"Hi, it's--it's nice to meet you?" The girl--Mavis, right--did a little curtsy and adjusted her glasses. Now that Kravitz was closer, he could see that she was just starting to grow a little beard. "Who, who are these two, Pops?"

"Eh, this is...a child detective." Merle scratched his head, took a long look at Angus. "He, uh, I think he...I dunno, I think he looks for missing children or something."

"That's not--that's not actually true, I just--I'm more of a--"

"And that, over there, he's--well, he's kind of a work buddy," Merle said, and--yeah, there really wasn't a good way of explaining what Kravitz was to two small children.

Mavis narrowed her eyes. "What work do you do, again?"

"It, uh, it doesn't matter, you're never gonna see these two again, Mavie, so don't worry about it, this is the last you'll see of these bozos." Merle leaned down to rustle at the boy's head, fingers lost in the tangled mop on the top of his head. "And this is, this is my little fireball, this is Mookie."

"Can I have another root beer barrel, Daddy?" Mookie's accent was so thick, the word _daddy_ ended up being four syllables.

"Oh, please don't do that--Dad, that thing had so much dirt on it, are you sure he's gonna be okay?" Mavis seemed like the reasonable one out of the three, and Kravitz had to wonder if that was because she wasn't related to Merle by blood.

"I told 'ya it was ruffage, Mavie, he'll be fine," Merle said. Kravitz _would_ step in, but these weren't his kids and Mookie looked pretty sturdy anyway.

"He didn't tell you about us, did he?" Mavis asked, walking up to Angus.

"Maybe not to Angus, but, um." Kravitz filed through his own memories, back to the wedding. "I was there when he and He--Hephaestus?"

"Hekuba," Mavis corrected.

"When Merle and Hekuba were married, I was there." Kravitz had a dull memory of Merle's wife handing off a baby to one of her cousins. "You were a very cute baby," he said, although he thought most infants were cute. They were pretty much designed to be adorable so parents wouldn't kill them with all the crying.

"Oh yeah, you were, weren't ya?" Merle snapped his fingers in the air a few times as he remembered. "You got us the margarita mixer."

"Shi--shoot, um." _Fuck,_ Kravitz really needed to watch his tongue. With the swearing _and_ the information he gave out to Merle on accident. "I did."

"Well, funny thing we ran into each other again," he said, and as soon as the words came out of his mouth he looked exponentially more suspicious. Mookie grabbed Angus and ran off to wrestle with him, and Kravitz wanted to go stop that but Merle had him locked in place. He looked Kravitz up and down with a discerning eye. "Wait, why _were_ you there? Did someone beef it at my wedding?"

"The caterers--" Kravitz squeaked on the edge of his words. Fuck, why couldn't he just talk like a normal person? "A couple of them, um, were poisoned."

Merle nodded. Accepted that answer even though it was obviously fake. Maybe he just didn't roll good on insight. "Makes sense, the food was shit."

Mavis tilted her head to the side. "The food was what?"

"Uh--lit! The food was, uh, lit. You kids say that, right?" Merle finally saw Mookie beating the crap out of Angus a few yards away and called out behind him. "Hey, Mookie! Go easy!"

Mookie pinned Angus to the ground. "Okay, Daddy!"

"He's a big weenie!"

"I'll go break it up," Mavis said to Kravitz. He must have looked real distressed about the wrestling. But now he was along with Merle, and now that he knew what these missions were for, he felt _real bad_ about bringing Angus here to interrupt it.

"Sorry for crashing your family reunion, Merle."

"Augh, it's fine." Merle waved his hand in the air. "I'm never too good at these things anyway."

"What are you talking about? They seem to like you." Sure, Kravitz thought Merle was weird, but they were still friends. He could see where Merle felt self conscious, and was not about to feed into that by saying something insensitive. "Especially Mookie, you're really cut from the same cloth."

"Oh, no, Mookie's a little rascally shit."

"That's how I can tell you're related." Kravitz laughed. "But, seriously, you, um--you have all this family, I'm actually a bit jealous of that. A wife and two kids, that's, uh...well, I'm not jealous of the _wife_ part, I'm extremely gay, but, the family part. That's very sweet."

Merle sucked in air through his teeth. "Uh, my ex-wife."

"You got a divorce?"

"Yeah, these're visitations." Merle gestured over to his kids and Angus. "I, uh, sort of...walked out on her."

"Oh, Merle..."

"I know, I know, it was--I was kind of a shithead." Merle played this off as a fact of life, that he wasn't too hung up about it, but his guilt was obvious. "But now that I've come into a bit of dough, I've kinda been--you know, trying to build my relationship with the kids."

"That's good of you." Kravitz didn't know much about Merle's kids yet, but he did know that they agreed to visit him. That was a pretty good start. "I think the kids appreciate it, just going by their attitudes."

"I bribed the bigger one with a stone of farspeech," he said, and chuckled.

Kravitz barked out a laugh. "Whatever you have to do to get her to start talking to you again, I suppose." 

"Nobody on the base is gonna know about this, though, capiche?" Merle asked, his hand on the wrench again.

"I'm not in the business of giving away secre-- _are you threatening me with a wrench?"_

He winked. "It's a _magic wrench."_

"Somehow, that makes me feel worse about it."

Merle let him and Angus stay for the rest of the visitation. All three of the kids got along pretty well, which was a relief--Kravitz got the feeling Angus didn't have much time with kids his age. He got to catch up with Merle, too. Most of their conversations were highly cursed and not safe for work, but both of them had to edit around that to speak within listening range of the kids. They had dinner together and shared stories, and before Kravitz knew it, it was dark outside.

It was a nice outing, though. Nice enough that Kravitz was a little sad when they moved on their way to drop the kids off on the boat to the Coralheart clan. Mavis and Mookie ran up to a sweets shop, and Mookie burst into tears when he saw it was closed. Kravitz barely even realized it was that late. Oh, well. They'd get the kids on the boat and he'd teleport them up to the base, it would take just a half hour or so more.

Right in front of his eyes, though, he saw a wagon up on the docks unhitch and barrel towards the candy shop.

Without much thought, Kravitz cut a rift right in front of the kids and pulled them out of the trajectory of the cart. The whole wagon and its contents crashed into the front of the candy shop, leaving jars and signs scattered all over the floor. Kravitz let go of Mavis and Mookie slowly, inspected them for injuries.

"Oh--my Lady, oh, fuck--sh--darn, I--" His voice shook from the pure adrenaline of the moment. What would he have _done_ if he had to reap Merle's kids right in front of him? "Oh, dear, Mavis, was it? Mookie? Are you two alright?"

"I'm fine." Mavis smoothed out her dress and stared at Kravitz with a blank face. Still in shock, just a little. "Um, thank you."

"The window's all busted!" Without any hesitation, Mookie crawled through one of the broken windows into the shop. "Let's get some'a that candy!"

"Mookie, that's--that's stealing, we can't--" Mavis extended out a hand to the shop, but couldn't grab Mookie in time. "Oh, there he goes."

Kravitz sighed. "I guess if he has the energy to do that, he's alright."

Thankfully, there weren't any other major events between the time it took them to fish Mookie out of the broken candy store and dropping the two dwarves off on the boat. Kravitz was very thankful that Merle snuck Mavis a stone of farspeech, so that she could call someone if she was in an emergency. He wondered why they hadn't given her one before, if she made this journey monthly.

Without any other delays, Kravitz teleported them to the dorm elevator. No use for them to take the spheres when he was there. Angus hugged them both and rode up back to his room. Merle hovered outside the dorm before going through.

"Hey, uh..." Merle shuffled his feet around, looking real meek all of a sudden. "Thanks for gettin' my kids."

"I have teleportation powers, Merle, of course I'm going to save your kids."

"...Do I know you from somewhere?" he asked abruptly, like he'd been waiting for that question for most of the day. "Seems really familiar."

Oh boy. Oh _boy._ No, this was bad. This was another nightmare scenario. He was barely able to answer that for Taako, how the fuck was he going to have this conversation with Merle? "That's a complicated question."

"Oh." Merle blinked twice and then shrugged, waved his arms around without a care. "Well, it's a good thing I don't care too much, isn't it?"

"It is." Kravitz opened the door for Merle, smiling softly. "Have a good night, Merle. Thanks for letting me meet your kids."

"Ah, don't mention it." Merle put his hand on the wrench again. "Really. Do _not_ mention it."

"My lips are sealed, you don't have to threaten me," he said, and the two of them walked back into the door, the day's excursion a secret forever.

* * *

It was one of those nights when everything stayed quiet. When Kravitz could hold Taako quietly and let him sleep or meditate. Tonight, it was sleep, so Taako wasn't aware enough to remember his own surroundings when he would wake. That meant Kravitz could go full sap, he could wrap Taako in his arms and bury his head in the back of his shoulder. Taako would let him indulge in that while they were both awake, but if Kravitz did it for too long, Taako became more suspicious of their relationship before his memory bunked out. It almost made Kravitz think that things were normal, when he could spend nights like this.

But, he knew things weren't normal. They still had some work to do.

Lucretia called him a few days back and said that she would send the boys out soon. Tomorrow. This could very well be Kravitz' last night with a no-memory Taako, depending on how fast they could get the relic in their hands. He practiced what he would say to him in his mind when they reunited, all his apologies and declarations of love and _I missed yous._ He could deal without his Taako for a handful more hours, he thought. It was almost time.

And then, they'd have to settle the big, big mistake Lucretia made, but that wasn't a thought Kravitz wanted to entertain at the moment.

He felt a buzzing sensation on the edges of his consciousness, the one that meant there was distress in the Stockade. The feeling was more numb than usual, and Kravitz had a feeling he only picked up on it because of all his experience. But his Queen specifically requested he not take any emergencies, and he was certain somebody else would go get it. It felt like a minor alarm, no Legion, nothing horribly difficult. So he turned his head back into the pillow and tried to relax.

And he tried.

And he _tried._

But it was just too much, he couldn't bear the idea that someone could be escaping. It was an itch that didn't get scratched. An annoyance that wouldn't have been bad if it lasted a couple seconds. He wasn't sure why none of his coworkers jumped to fix it. It felt like a small problem, so Kravitz unhooked his arms off of Taako and slid to the edge of the bed.

He wasn't quiet enough, and Taako stirred awake in groggy confusion. "Kravitz?"

"Sorry for waking you," Kravitz whispered, and dropped a kiss down onto Taako's temple, "I think there's something up in the Stockade."

Even half-asleep, Taako could pull a mean pout. "Thought you said you had time off until the next mission."

"Well, if something's wrong with the Stockade, I can't ignore that." No matter what his Queen said, he needed to handle this. Nobody else bothered. "Don't want something like Legion getting out again."

"No, can't blame you there." Taako scrubbed at his eyes, knocked some sleep out of them. He wasn't fully functioning, but he was aware enough to hold part of a conversation. "None of your coworkers are at it?"

"I've had this alarm feeling for about ten minutes straight, I don't think anyone else is going to get it." Kravitz leaned down for another kiss, this time on the forehead. "I'll be back soon, just going to check on it, okay?"

"Okay." Taako was too tired to argue, couldn't pull Kravitz back into bed when he was half-asleep. But he did roll over, mustered up enough energy to look Kravitz straight in the eye. "Hey, babe?"

Kravitz really needed to go, but something about Taako's tone made him pause. "Yes?"

"Was I in love with you before?"

"Very much so." Kravitz smiled, ran his fingers over Taako's scalp and let the hair pass through them. He could stand to be more fond, now, since they had a few months together like this. "You told me most days."

Taako considered this, squinting up at Kravitz with a suspicious eye. And then he relaxed back into the sheets, leaned up against Kravitz' hand. Let out a very soft purr as he considered something. Kravitz didn't want to leave yet, even with the alarm buzzing in his mind. Taako had been open to him before, but this was a level they hadn't gotten to yet. There was still a reservation in most of his actions, which was completely fair. Most people would take pause at a secret boyfriend they didn't know they had suddenly appearing after a risky mission.

"I think I still am," Taako said, barely audible over the rumbling in his chest.

"I don't think I ever stopped being in love with you, so we're even." That was just the motivation Kravitz needed to go fight whatever was up in the Stockade. He'd come back to kiss Taako breathless afterwards, and then they would go to Wonderland, and then...he'd get Taako back. "Go back to sleep, love."

"Call me that more often," he mumbled, face mushed into the sheets.

"Of course, love." Kravitz could barely hold back a laugh. "Be back soon, love."

"Smartass."

Kravitz kissed him one more time. "You love it."

"I do." Taako pulled the covers over his head. "G'night."

"Good night." Kravitz cut a rift into the Stockade, took one last look at his boyfriend, and stepped through.

Behind the portal wasn't a Stockade breakout, though. Nothing as simple as that.

The Hunger came early.

Or, rather, it came right on time. Kravitz knew Istus sent him out of every world early because the Hunger locked all of the planes before any visible signs of it showed on the Material plane. By the time they could do anything about it, it would be too late. If Kravitz wanted to save this world, he had to get out of this plane, _fast,_ and force Lucretia to inoculate the rest of the team.

Kravitz swung his scythe, hoping to catch a portal out of the plane before it locked up.

His connection to his Queen was already severed. He placed five Raven's feathers in a circle to try and reach her that way, but it failed to connect. Kravitz had no magic, no connection, no way of communication. He was alone, and he could feel himself drowning. The iridescent black goo swallowed him, fully and completely, just as it tried to do a century ago. But this time, there was no goddess to come save him, no means for him to prevent it. The world was on track to end within a few days, now, and Kravitz had no way of knowing if he would ever make it out.

He should have listened to his Queen.

The Hunger took him in, physically and mentally, as Kravitz thought of everything he should have done to prevent this. How dissatisfied he was that he didn't get to reunite with his fiancé. How he should have recognized this, how he fucked up, how he was trapped here, now, forever. How he escaped this a century before, when he refused to listen to that damn motivational speaker. Now, the words he said sounded enticing. Maybe it would be better if he gave up now.

Kravitz stopped running, and didn't bother to fight the waves that rolled over him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i don't know how to write short chapters anymore! but i kept adding scenes to this one. i must be stopped.
> 
> I'll probably skip another week for this next chapter, sorry! they're all getting ridiculously long now and I want to make sure they're really good! or at least the same quality they've been this whole time. good news, we only have two more chapters left! a finale and an epilogue.
> 
> next time, oh, shit, time to save the world!


	26. In Faerun, Reunited

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It's the end.

Everything rushed back into Taako's mind, chased with the fishy aftertaste of jelly piss.

Things made more and less sense all at the same time. Lup, Julia, and Barry's insistence that they shadow behind the group in Wonderland. Their overprotective attitude the whole mission. Lup's forceful suggestion that he not sacrifice his face. Lup's tendency to stay near Taako, and all the shots she shielded him from. Just Lup's existence in general, really.

Pieces of himself fell back into place as Taako rearranged the whole concept of himself. Right, he was a dope and genius wizard, graduated top of his class, had a loving family and fiancé--

Where the _fuck_ was Kravitz?

Okay. Hold on. He saw a rippling pool of black goop in the Astral plane when he went to fish Magnus away from it. That must have been where Kravitz was, right? Was he stuck there? That was the only reason Taako could conjure to explain why Kravitz didn't join them on the Wonderland mission. The Hunger cut off planes from each other, he must have gotten swallowed when he left the day before the mission. Not that they were strapped for help in Wonderland. There was him and Magnus and Merle, and Julia, Barry, and Lup, and then some weird disembodied head man? He wasn't super important. Did he die? It felt like he died. Wonderland was sort of a blur, between all of the shit they gave up--fuck, they had to give up _so much,_ since there were so many of them.

Magnus lost a decade, and Julia lost the memory of how she died _right after_ Magnus lost the memory of who killed her. So, yeah, avenging the two of them was Merle and Taako's job now. They'd get to it at some point. Barry lost his ability to play piano and Lup gave up some spell slots, but those were both tiny sacrifices in the face of Julia's loss of the ability to grieve. Lup threw away the memory of some dude named Greg _(Grimaldis?_ Now Taako held the responsibility to avenge her). Barry couldn't hear in his left ear anymore. Merle kept the memory of his kids but lost a whole lot of things, mostly eye related. Taako lost his face and some luck and some dexterity--thank _fuck_ he kept his ring, they tried to take that from him, too. 

But it was _fine,_ they managed to get to _"the end"_ (fake) and after the most touchingly game-breaking moment of all time, Magnus ended up in a mannequin, both liches got reaped, and they had the bell in hand. Lup beat the fuck out of Edmund (Edward? Who cared?) and they all went back up to the moon. Lucretia knew they were coming and greeted them at the gate, disabled the holy wards on the whole Bureau and on everyone's bracers. They had to prepare for the Hunger, which already got to work attacking people in the courtyard. They couldn't see it, because they couldn't comprehend it, and they needed some way to inoculate the rest of the moon base. And also Magnus was here? With the cool-ass sword Taako swindled off of Garfield a few months ago.

Oh, right. There was an extra Magnus body in the back of the Fantasy Costco. Why Garfield had a _gooey necromancy tank_ and an extra Magnus body was beyond him. Apparently he gave Garfield blood earlier. Cool. Not cult-y or creepy at all. He didn't get into the new body immediately, said there was something he needed to do instead. But he'd get into it during the fight. Lup and Julia and Barry turned a blind eye to that, and they all agreed not to tell Kravitz.

_Shit, where was Kravitz?_

Lucretia still had her staff, and there was a shimmering, transparent bubble of magic hardening around her. Davenport broke into the room, and at least he looked like himself as he helped Merle through the memory flood. Julia brought Magnus through the century, and Barry and Lup were right behind Taako doing the same for him. Carey bandaged Killian's arm off in the corner, Noelle and Angus went to barricade the door, and the Hunger's tendrils curled against the windows and under the door frames.

Lup shifted her construct to look like herself again (and not like Taako, who scoffed at her suggestion to skip the face sacrifice--now he wished he'd kept it) and caught Taako in a tight hug. He held her without any hesitations, now that he knew his own sister. He stayed like that for a good couple minutes, and everyone stayed quiet to let him even though the Hunger rocked the moon base back and forth as they stood.

They had it, they had this world, and Lucretia fucked it up. Not even in a simple way. She had this whole convoluted mess of tangled memories and secret moon bases. Didn't stop and think of a better solution for even a minute, no _sir._ No solution that didn't tear the whole crew apart, make all their lives worse, especially his and Davenport's. And not only did she make him _forget_ all these people, but she also made them the villains, made it so that he didn't have a chance of seeing his family again. Even though Lup and the rest of the crew were here now, Kravitz _wasn't_ , and that meant this plan was a failure.

"Ten." Taako grabbed for his (sister's) staff and pointed it at Lucretia. He tried to ignore the lump in his throat, the painful pricks at the edges of his eyes. "Nine."

God _damn,_ she looked like she was about to defend this whole thing. "Taako, I know you're upset--"

"Eight," he said, and saw Magnus pull out the Flaming Raging Poisoning Sword of Doom beside him.

Somehow, she didn't look afraid. Pleading, yes, but not under the impression that she was in any danger. "Listen--"

"Seven." He didn't give Lucretia the time to talk.

Even still, she tried. "Please listen to me, please."

"Six."

"Please stop--okay." Now she just looked annoyed.

Merle ran in front of him and Magnus and waved his arms around. "What the hell are you doing?"

"Five." Nope, no need to talk this out. Man on a mission, here.

"The chance to explain yourself was...mmm, about a dozen memories ago," Magnus said, and Taako did have to give him credit for how bothered he sounded. Magnus didn't get like that too often, and especially not to Lucretia. But Lucretia didn't ever erase a hundred years of their memories before, either.

"And, honestly, seven seconds ago, I'm doing this cool countdown--" Taako scrambled, pointed his/Lup's staff at Lucretia with more force. Less lazy, more threatening, if that word could even be attributed to someone like Taako. "You fucking took _everything_ from me!"

Lucretia bowed her head once, like she was trying to be diplomatic about a mistake _she_ made that actively hurt everyone in the room. "I know that things went wrong, I know I shouldn't have kept you in the dark as long as I did--"

Lup made a snide little sound. "For the record, we tried to get this business done earlier and she didn't let us--"

"--I swear, I had no idea how arduous a task this was gonna be, I know I have a lot to atone for--"

"You didn't know how arduous it'd be to try and undo our whole plan by yourself?" Lup asked, and if Taako wasn't so focused on keeping his staff pointed with deadly aim, he'd high five her.

"Lup, _please."_ Lucretia held both hands on her staff, speaking without any of the gravitas she used before, just wild panic. "I'm begging you to let me finish this, and then we can talk about it."

Taako paused, and then let his staff drop. "Fine." It really didn't matter what happened now, did it? Even if they launched the ship out of the planar system, Kravitz was still swallowed up by the Hunger, there wasn't a portal for him to escape out of. No matter what happened today, Kravitz would stay gone.

"What are you finishing?" Merle asked with a hysterical laugh.

"I'm gonna cast my barrier around this world and stop the Hunger once and for all!"

Merle pointed to the door. "Uh, aren't they already here?"

She shook her head, still stuck in this delusion. "It's not--it's not too late, I can still--I can still keep them out."

"Lucretia, you can't do this!" Barry finally lost his patience, always a rare sight. "We told you why the barrier's not gonna work-- _we_ can't survive, hooked up to a goddess, and, we still don't know where the hell Kravitz ran off to--it's going to sever every bond this world's ever had." And then the anger went away, and he went directly into pleading, because Barry had surprisingly irresistible puppy-dog eyes. "Please, I--I know why you did what you did, but you just--you can't do this!"

"You know, honestly, do whatever you want." They could leave this whole world behind, it didn't matter. Everything was already ruined. The most he had was Lup, and she was the only person in the room he could hang onto. "I don't care anymore."

"Taako, please just trust me," she said, and wasn't that hilarious? There wasn't a single reason in the universe for Taako to ever trust her again. "It's--what we did to this world, it--you know it wasn't right." If Taako had any energy to fight her on this, he'd laugh. Why'd she talk about what was right and wrong when she forced him to forget everything? "We made a promise over a hundred years ago--"

"Lucretia, do you realize that--you remember that Taako just realized he lost his fiancé. This isn't the time for you to explain yourself!" Magnus took down his sword and clasped Taako on the shoulder, way too heroic and chipper for the moment. "Taako, listen. I know this is tough, but--you found Lup, at least! She's right here with us, right now. Doesn't that count for anything?"

Lup shook her head. "It's two different things, Magnus."

Magnus sucked in a breath like he was burned, stage whispering to Lup. "I know that, but--"

"I appreciate what you're trying to do, and I'm on board for whatever the plan is." Taako held up a hand to silence any other optimistic outlooks out of Magnus. "But understand this." He spoke slowly, agonizingly so, just because he knew more dumb shit would spill out if he didn't take it slow. "I don't have a reason to stay fucking planet anymore, and I don't give a shit. The world is ending and I. Don't. Care."

Lucretia still stood up there looking pious and self-sacrificing. "I--this is going to be hard to hear but remember that almost a century ago, Lup made us promise--"

No, no, Lup didn't have any of that. "You're _twisting_   my own damn words in front of me, I didn't mean we should fuck all of our own lives over to save anyone!"

It took a moment for Lucretia to find the right words, but when she released them, they were very much the _wrong_ words. "Don't we deserve that, a little bit?"

"You might think that, but you can't make that decision for the rest of us." Lup stepped forward, and then looked back to Taako. She didn't leave his personal bubble, and yelled at Lucretia from her spot. "If you were unhappy with the wars, we could have talked it over!"

"I _tried_ to talk it over with all of you, and I was shut down!"

"We don't have time to do this." Davenport spoke up, finally, and the other Bureau members gawked after every word he said that wasn't his own name. "Lucretia, where's the ship?"

"We can't _leave,_ Captain," Lup said, and Killian echoed, _"Captain?!"_   like it was a surprise.

And, with the amount of personality Lucretia stripped away from Davenport, yeah. It was a surprise.

"My wife--sorry, _MAI WIFE_ is here, I can't--" Magnus turned over to Julia and held her hands to ground himself. "She won't reset."

"And Merle has kids," Barry added.

Taako didn't have the energy to react to that, but thankfully Magnus did the reacting for him. "Merle has _kids?"_

"And we need to find Kravitz." Lup held tight onto Taako's shoulder and offered a smile that should have been reassuring. "He's probably just stuck in between planes, if we break the seal we could get him back."

"Sirs, please don't...don't--don't go!" Angus levitated another piece of furniture to the barricade and ran to the group, pleading and worried. "Don't leave this to us! Please."

Davenport frowned at Angus. "I'm sorry, kid, but it's...it's--this is--this is the end of everything if we get caught up here. We just--" His voice choked off into a frustrated noise. He couldn't take this anymore. Taako knew the feeling. "Lucretia, where's the Starblaster?"

"I'm sorry, you guys can do what you want, but I'm not runnin' this time. Can't do it! I'm too old for this shit." Merle crossed his arms and dug his foot into the ground, stubborn. "I'm gonna hang around, you guys do what you think best!"

"I can't leave here either. We're not taking the ship." Magnus looked between Merle and Taako, wildly positive. "We'll fix this."

Taako really did want to believe that, since he spent so much time in this world. But the ring that hung heavy in his pocket made him believe otherwise.

* * *

Okay, fine, his stagecoach _fucking exploded._  

It was cool! He was Lup's brother, it wasn't the first time he survived a point-blank explosion. At least he had a good meal before it, and met a pretty cool kid. Oh, and the _taco?_ The food kind-of-sort-of named after him? Delicious. He wanted to make hundreds of those little guys. That was the exact flavor he'd been chasing for decades, and he found it _here,_ of all places. Now he had it, and he could make it whenever he wanted. He'd make it every week if he wanted. Pick a day on the week planner. Maybe Mondays? Taco Monday didn't have a good sound to it. It didn't matter yet. His excitement and anticipation would have to wait until later, because the explosion left him with an overwhelming feeling of power. The glass didn't change for him before, but _now?_ He felt like he actually had a shot. Lup ran and grabbed his hat off the ground.

"Holy shit, are you okay?" she asked, and set the hat firmly on his head.

"Yeah, I'm pretty fucking great!" Taako felt the power burn at his fingertips, knew he had to get it out _now_ or else he'd lose this chance. "I'm gonna turn this glass into the blue one!"

Taako ran to the circle and knelt down. It wasn't a slow transformation like before. He didn't have to struggle. As soon as his hands brushed against the surface of the glass, the whole thing lit up in a bright blue glow, wind bursting out of the opening like a popped balloon. The ground shifted and moved, and Phandolin rose up from the glass, all white and spectral. It connected with some of the half-destroyed buildings on the outskirts of the glass, and it wasn't a vision of Phandolin as it was before the gauntlet, but a reconstruction of the damage before the glass.

And kneeling in the center of it all was Kravitz.

He'd seen a glance of him in Wonderland. Or, he saw a glimpse of his hand, trying to breach the surface. But here, he didn't have any of the weird opalescent mud or tar on him. It was just Kravitz. He took a gasping breath, as if he even _needed_ to breathe. He had his work uniform on, so, like, _that was hot,_ but he had all his skin on, too. Even after all that time locked in the Stockade, he looked magnificent. And, maybe something less superficial than that too, since just the sight of him made Taako feel like all this bullshit was worth it.

Taako would scold himself for being such a sap if he wasn't already running full speed towards the center.

Kravitz stood up, dazed. "How...how did you _do_ that?"

Nuh-uh, no time for that. Taako ran forward and kissed Kravitz, didn't even let him complain about how cold or weird it was. Taako knew him for a century, he wasn't about to turn away from a less than perfect kiss, temperature-wise. He went for one, and then two--he could be horribly affectionate when he wanted to. Kravitz laughed along and kissed back when he had the chance to. He didn't get much of a chance, for the most part, immobilized and subject to Taako's affections.

"Ta...Taa _ko,_ come on, you're--"

"I love you," Taako said, when the physical declarations weren't enough.

"You--" Recognition flashed behind Kravitz' eyes and it looked like the tears already threatened to squeak out. "You're _back!"_

"Hell yeah, babe, can't keep me do--" Taako yelped as Kravitz took him in his arms and picked him up. He liked the contact, but it felt like he was getting tossed around like a ragdoll. Taako held on for his life. _"Whoa,_ hey, careful! Frag--fragile goods, here!"

Kravitz lowered Taako so his feet could touch the floor again, but refused to let go. "I'm sorry, I--I was so _worried_ about you, for all those years, and when I found you again, I just--" And there were the tears. Not that Taako didn't expect them, but it was never a fun sight to see his boyfriend crying.

"No, hey, hey, c'mon, you weren't the one that zapped all my memories out." Taako kissed at his cheeks a couple times. When that didn't calm him down, he held his face and wiped the stream of tears with the pad of his thumb. "Hey, hey, _hey, hey, hey!_   Look, I'm right here, you'll have to do better than that to get rid of me."

"I just--lost you, for so long, and--and I was trying to get a message out to you--" He sniffled and tried to hold himself together. This did not work. "--Taako, I thought I lost you _again,_ forever."

"Well, you're not that far off." Taako's breath caught in his throat. Kravitz looked at him like he always did, and that was a comfort, but Taako had his glamour from Wonderland up, still. "Uh, it's...but you're right, there has been a terrible loss you should know about."

He thought about leaving it be, not telling Kravitz, but. What good would that do? Most of their fights started when one of them didn't bother to tell the other something. Even though it was terrifying, Taako dropped the glamour spell on his face, a slight _poof_ at the edge of his vision. Kravitz' eyes grew wide.

"So, I just wanted to be honest. I didn't want to catfish--can you catfish someone you've been with for decades?" He shook his head. This wasn't the time to joke or ramble. He had a feeling this could be the end of everything between them. "Actually, scratch that, it's not important. This is Taako today."

Kravitz didn't say anything, but he carefully reached up to cup one of Taako's less beautiful cheeks.

"I, um, had a bad run-in while I was saving the world again, and this is what I really look like. Now." The silence killed him, he didn't know where to look. He didn't feel _self-conscious_ too often, he was _Taako._ But he knew he was being judged, that this could be a dealbreaker for Kravitz. "And I just wanted you to know that in case that changes anything for you, personally. I thought you should know, now."

He stayed quiet for a moment, thumb running over the little bumped acne scars Taako's face had now. Didn't look angry, or sad. Mostly worried. It was hard to tell, with the way Taako's heart raced.

"Taako," he finally said, with one kiss to the nose and a reassuring smile, "do you really think I'm superficial enough to leave you because of this?"

"I mean, no." No, of course not. He wasn't _that_ insecure. "But. Y'know."

Kravitz frowned. "I don't know."

"It definitely takes some points off, right?"

"You're unharmed," Kravitz said, and then looked down at the bruise on Taako's leg from the washing machine, "for the most part, anyway." He squished Taako's face and kissed it again. "We can take a longer time to unpack this later, but...Taako, I was crazy about you before I had all my memories. I did that a hundred times, I fell in love with you a hundred different ways. I'm not going to stop now."

"I love you, Taako, and I have for...so long, now." He held Taako closer, his hand lightly brushing Taako's lower back. "And now that you're...uh, just as famous as you always claim to be, I think everyone in reality is going to love you, too. Nothing's gonna change that."

"But also, you're my boyfriend, and...I should probably say you're still the most beautiful person I've met." Kravitz kept his face close enough that the edges of his smile left Taako's peripheral vision. "Not out of obligation. This isn't an uglier face. I love you, and whatever face you're attached to."

"That was actually a test, I--uh, you never looked the same year to year." Taako hugged him tight. He really had nothing to worry about, did he? He didn't bother to hide the mirrored smile on his face. "But--thanks. You're...I--we."

Kravitz tilted his head to the side. "We?"

"We," he said, and kissed Kravitz again. The sounds of the apocalypse rushed behind them, though, and as much as Taako wanted to stay and chat, time was of the essence.

There was one thing he needed to get out, though.

"Hey, uh. Before we have to go save the world, or whatever--I don't. Uh. Know what'll happen next." Taako hesitated. He had a tight grip on both Kravitz' hands, and kept that grip even as he sank down to one knee. "But, uh--"

All the breath Kravitz didn't need left him. _"Taako--"_

"Shut up! It's my turn! I didn't get one of these." Taako squeezed his hands. Honesty time. That came fairly easy with Kravitz. "But, like. Whether this turns out horribly, like, worst case scenario we all get eaten by Voreman Johnson? I would like to be able to point and scream, _'hey, don't take my fiancé!'_ as we all go down." They both laughed, nervous. That was a scenario neither of them wanted to entertain, but it was the most likely one. "And if it turns out good, I'd like to tell people that I saved the world with my fiancé, so, either way, I just really want to--"  Taako pressed a thumb into Kravitz' ring finger. "Like. Renew this. Can you renew an engagement?"

"I think you can," he answered, smile way too wide.

"Even if you can't, I'm doing it." Taako looked up at Kravitz expectantly. "So..."

"You have to say the whole thing, Taako." Kravitz dug into his pocket and pressed his ring into Taako's hand. "And, oh, here's my ring--"

Taako couldn't help but burst into laughter. "Staging your own engagement, babe?"

"If you get to bully me around during yours, I should have the same rights." Kravitz held both his hands again and squeezed. "Go on."

"Well, maybe I _don't_ want to marry you anymore, if you keep mouthing off on me."

"Taako," he said, not as amused as before.

_"Joking!"_ Taako laughed out of nerves as he tried to come up with the words. "Kravitz, I'd beat around the bush and dance around what I really think, but. You--" _are someone I want to be honest with,_ is what he should have said, but he couldn't get it out. Needed a more roundabout way to say it. "I haven't. Told you I love you in a decade. So. I love you. Let's get that out of the way first, because it's easy for me to say now. You...make it easy. Even when I'm pissed at you, or I haven't seen you in years, or when we don't get enough time to talk, I still love you." The words came out more naturally now, he didn't have to try as hard. "And you do everything to make sure I know you feel the same way, and, I do. It doesn't have to be said, but I know you won't go a day without saying you love me, just because. That's you."

"If it were just me and Lup, or even the crew--it wouldn't matter if. If we just hopped back into the ship and started over again. And if you weren't here, like, it'd be a bummer 'cause I spent a lot of time here, and there are, like, other people here that I don't...want to lose, I guess. If we're being honest." Taako held Kravitz' ring in between his fingers. "But. You're here. And I can't leave you behind now. Because even if I didn't like this planet, I'd still want to stay here, because, uh. I don't have a physical place, or a home, or anything...like that--I guess I'm still technically homeless, even after everything--but." Taako felt his face burn up. He was embarrassed, yes, but that was somehow _okay,_ this was exactly where he wanted to be. "Lup's always going...to be my heart, I guess, we've. Established that. But I'm pretty fucking sure you're my home."

"You--" Kravitz wiped away another set of tears. "--can be _so_ sentimental when you want to be."

"Hell yeah, just wait until our vows, man. And I'd like to get to those when--when this is all over, so." A wild chuckle. "Damn, there's really no way to say this in a way that fits in my brand, but..." Taako met Kravitz' eyes, solid, unwavering. "Kravitz, will you marry me?"

"I--"

Lup shouted from the other end of the sapphire. "If you say no, I'm going to kill you!"

Taako groaned. "Ignore her."

"I can't ignore my sister-in-law," Kravitz said, and shook his head.

"So that's a yes?"

"It will always be a yes for you." Kravitz moved down to Taako's level and kissed him. He slipped his ring back on, and Taako took the moment to put his back in its right place. _Hell yeah,_ AC bonus. And. Fiancé. Both were important.

The two didn't have a lot of time to bask in the moment. A loud crashing sound carried off from far away.

Lucas' whiny, nerdy voice echoed from far away. "My lab!"

Kravitz snickered. Taako _tsk_ ed him.

"Now, let's be considerate, he probably did a lot of good math on there."

"Uh, we've got a bigger problem here." Lup ran to the center and pointed at the judge that caused the crash, looming over the world and the circle of glass. "I don't know how to kill that!"

"Well, I think I know some folks who can help." Kravitz knocked his toe on the glass. "You remember those wayward souls I've been imprisoning?"

Taako snorted. "I've been one of those wayward souls a few times, babe."

"Well, then why don't we give them some time off for good behavior?"

The judge moved to swat Lup, Kravitz, and Taako, an attempt to destroy their good moment. Taako flinched for a moment, held tight onto Kravitz' cloak. If this was how he was going to die, he might as well hold his fiancé. But he didn't die, and he knew that because he knew exactly what that felt like. When Taako looked up, he saw a glowing, ghostly hand made up of interwoven souls. With some effort, it threw the judge off balance and away from the party. Lup hollered out in joy. Kravitz turned to Taako, eyes glittering.

"I need to keep an eye on them, Taako, and I need to shepherd this world's dead, but it's--" He stole one more kiss. "It's so fucking good to see your face again. When I was over there, I just. I thought about you constantly."

"Um, I mean, me too, I...sort of thought it was all going to go to shit. But. At the very least, I found you again? And, by the way, _you--_ " He leveled a finger right at Kravitz' face. "Are bad at acting like you're not in love with me."

"Is that a bad thing?"

"Can't imagine why it would be." Taako leapt up and gave Kravitz a proper hug. "Let's go ahead and save...everybody, pretty much, and then we can move on with our plans. Does that sound good to you?"

Instead of a verbal answer, Kravitz kissed him on the forehead and walked towards the giant pile of ghosts.

"Oh, wait, shit! One thing before you go!" Taako yelled out as Kravitz ran off. "You thought you could pass _Lup_ off as your sister?"

He laughed. "Was it not realistic enough for you?"

"In hindsight? No."

"Well," he said, and blew a kiss in Taako's direction. "You can make fun of me after we save the world."

"Deal."

* * *

"You're drunk already?"

"We _did_ it, of _course_ I'll--" Magnus stumbled, his arms draped around Taako. A hundred years of memories and Taako forgot that this fool was a clingy drunk. "I'll--hey! Julia! Jules!" Magnus shouted out into the crowd, and squinted in the distance. "Where'd she go?"

They saved the world. All the worlds. Every single one of them. Even though cities were destroyed now and a _lot_ needed fixing, the whole world erupted in celebration. The specific party Taako got himself rolled into was in some bar in Neverwinter. Nobody served them. The owners and employees saw the Bureau and decided they could empty house if they wanted. They partied just as hard as the actual partiers, and only stepped in when Lup almost set the bar on fire. Most of the neighborhood was here, too, the party filled with people that Taako didn't recognize. Packed inside, outside, and blocks around. Most of the party would swarm to the legendary heroes, that made sense.

He already got most of his fun out, and he felt himself winding down. He'd probably head off to a good fucking rest in an hour or so. But it seemed like he was tied down to watching a very drunk Magnus. He could, at least, watch the illusion of himself he conjured to bother Leon. That was a risk, though, because if he drew too much attention to it, Leon could notice him. Ruin the whole goof. But he also wanted to see what the rest of the party had to offer. He saved the world (okay, and his friends, too), he should get maximum party points for that.

Ignore how Merle had all the party points in between the three of them.

Taako pushed Magnus off his shoulders. "How do you have the fuckin'-- _energy_ like this, after all that?"

"Julia!" Magnus shouted, again, his voice just as uncoordinated as his body.

"God, does he have to be so loud?" Merle had a finger in his ear and a sour look on his face. That's what he got for asking to get a drink with his horny boys. "Wish he was back lookin' older, then he'd calm down."

"I didn't want to stay in a _mannequin,"_   he whined, cheek plastered onto the nice lacquered wood of the bar.

"So _whiny!"_ Taako rolled his eyes and levitated another drink from behind the counter. This would be a long night.

"You're whiny when you're sober, and, uhhh..." Magnus wracked his brain for a good burn. That was never good. His burns were bad even when he was sober. "Whiny."

Taako grimaced into the bottle. He wasn't sure what he picked up, but it didn't smell great. "You said that twice." He couldn't even get one sip into the thing before someone picked it up out of his grasp. Taako turned and saw Julia with the bottle already half-emptied.

Magnus made huggy-arms at her. "Julia!"

"What? I heard you shouting," she said, and sat the bottle back down on the counter. "Is he being a baby?"

"Yes," Taako said, just as Magnus yelped out a, "no!"

Julia cut her gaze away from both of them and watched Merle. "Was he?"

"If you're looking to Merle for judgment, I'd say you already lost," Taako said, and it was meant to be a joke but he wasn't _wrong._

Merle nodded once with a sage look in his eyes that never fit his attitude. "He's always a baby."

"Close enough!" Julia hoisted Magnus out of his seat and lifted him over her shoulder. How she could do that when she was at least ten pounds smaller than him, Taako had no clue. "C'mon, you're getting water and going to bed."

"You're coming _with me,"_ Magnus said, arms wrapped around the limited areas of Julia that he could reach."

"Mhmm." She didn't sound like she believed him all that much.

"And I'm gonna--" Magnus spoke in a whisper, but still loud enough for most people within melee range to hear him. "Gonna, eat you out like'a-- _buffet."_

"No, because you're drunk and that's the dumbest way you could have said that." Julia pat him on the back and he quieted down, at least for a moment. She turned her attention back to Merle and Taako. "Hey, good job on the world save, both of you. Thanks for letting me keep my idiot."

"Our pleasure," Taako said, and waved the two off to have their gross little reunion.

"He's our idiot, too!" Merle called out after them. He finished off his drink and pointed his only remaining eye at Taako with suspicion. "So, you goin' to wail for your boyfriend now?"

"Fiancé, and no, I let him come to me." Nevermind that Kravitz was too busy wrangling souls back into the Stockade and couldn't make it to the afterparty even if he wanted to. Taako even asked Barry if he could cover, but since Kravitz made the dumbass move to let Legion back out, he was the one forced to wipe up the mess. Taako twisted the ring on his finger. "And I'm certainly not as bad as Magnus."

"Eugh, you sure you want to be chained to that for an eternity?"

"Not everyone is as bad at marriage as you are, old man." 

"You'll want to divorce 'em when you have kids." Merle churned over his own words and looked Taako up and down. "Actually, can't see you as a dad."

Taako decided not to refute that. Merle would tease him endlessly and tell everyone he knew if Taako told him he was planning on having kids in a couple decades. It was safer to go for the lower hanging fruit. "Thought you liked your kids."

"I do!" Oh, gross, that seemed genuine and heartfelt. Taako could _not_ deal with that right now. Merle raised his glass and smiled to show how, exactly, his wrinkles fell into place. "Only good thing about my marriage."

"Then you don't get to complain." Taako reached for the bottle Julia stole from him and then stopped himself. Didn't want to get second hand spit from that family. He moved away from the bar, hands in his pockets, and bolted away from Merle. "Oh, wait, I just realized I don't want to talk about you and your family anymore, I'll be over there.

Merle waggled his fist in the air. "Rude!"

Didn't really matter. Taako had seen a lot of the old man throughout the year, and he knew he'd have more time with him later. He couldn't focus too well at the party. Too loud. Too many memories buzzing in his head. If he were being honest, he'd say he missed Kravitz, but also? He was his own elf, he could handle a little bit of distance while Kravitz did his job. It was a good idea to do the rounds now, when he couldn't sink all of his time into Lup or Kravitz. Even if that's who he wanted to talk to most. Didn't matter when he couldn't find Lup and Kravitz was on duty.

No, better to do a little victory lap. He saw a familiar face at one of the tables, nursing a drink and drumming fingers on a cloth covered basket.

Ren lit up as soon as she saw him, stood up to meet his eye, hands clasped together. "Oh my gosh, Taako!" It wasn't the first time she said that, or the fifth, and Taako had a hunch she wouldn't stop anytime soon.

He laughed at it anyway. "Are you gonna do that every time now?" 

"Only until it gets old." She reached for the basket on her abandoned table and shoved it into Taako's arms. "Paloma wanted me to hand these over."

"When did she have time to...?"

"Scone magic." Ren winked. "Also, I stole, like, eight of them. Sorry." Taako _would_ call her out on that, but she always had a little bit of blackmail on him. You know, promising to do the magic lessons, and then conjuring up one little diploma and claiming he was watching the whole time? No sir, Taako knew not to fuck with a businesswoman like her. Ren kicked at the ground. "You--uh, I thought you were cool before, but, now you saved the whole ding dang world! How am I supposed to catch up to you now?"

"I'm trying to make it impossible," he said, flashing the staged toothy grin he used in his shows.

"Doing a pretty good job of it!" She picked at the edges of her shirt, a question right at her brain but no courage to ask it outright. "What's next on the schedule?"

"I, uh." Oh, right. Taako had a life now. A life that wasn't entirely dependent on adventuring and risking his life on the daily. He knew he wanted, like, _a house,_ but he hadn't given much thought on the career that would fund it yet. He saved the world less than _twelve hours_ ago, he deserved a little thought break. "Hadn't thought of that yet."

"Hm." All her nerves fell away and she had a dangerously mysterious twinkle in her eye. "Mind not thinking about it for another couple weeks or so?"

"Ren, you don't have to convince me to stop thinking, I'll _gladly_ do that right now. You're trying to make sure I'm not in competition? Because, honestly, I'm probably not getting back into the cooking business."

"Oh, no, that's not..." Aaaand there was the anxiety again. Taako knew he was a celebrity, but Ren was cool and he wasn't too keen on making her whole emotional state flick back and forth like a metronome. "I was thinking of. Maybe a collaboration?"

"Well," he said, Ren's ambition a source of endless amusement for him, "depends on how good your pitch is, huh?"

That was enough to get that fire back into her eyes. "I'll give you a ring once it's all done." And then, again, all the energy left her. "I'm gonna go lie down for, probably two days though."

"Naturally." Taako rolled up one of his sleeves and showed a particularly nasty set of injuries. He hadn't noticed how big the gashes on his arm were. "Got all these bruises to, uh, attend to."

"Gosh, some of those look...awful." Ren stepped backwards. A little too freaked out by the wound. "Don't let 'em get infected."

"I'd ask Merle for a heal, but I already brushed him off." Taako waved to her as she ran off. He reached into the basket for one of the scones, ate three, and then sent it back to his room using magic. Now that he saw his wounds again, his arm ached in pain. He didn't want to crawl back over to Merle. He probably didn't have the spell slots, anyway. Luckily enough, Davenport was at the other end of the room, nursing a bourbon. He could work with that. "Hey, Cap'pn!"

"Wh--oh, Taako." Davenport fumbled his drink and caught it before it slid off the bar. He turned his head to watch Taako and sighed. "Sorry, I, uh. The name's throwing me off."

"I think I have a staph infection," Taako said, no lead-in, no warning, no hesitance.

Davenport frowned, and his mustache puffed out. "Really."

"Really!"

"Let me see." He held out his hands, and Taako rolled up his sleeve to show him. Davenport wasn't disgusted too often, but it really was a gross wound. He pushed Taako's sleeve back up. "Ew, no, but you do have gravel in there. Wash that out."

"How do you know it isn't staph?"

"Because you're not wailing in pain?" Davenport blinked once, slow and deliberate. Thought for a moment. "Also you've died from staph once."

"Oh, right." Taako forgot about that. Taako also forgot about a lot of things, but if he thought about that any harder, he'd go into a fit. Best to unfold that carefully, when he had time to sift through his memories in greater detail.

Davenport kept an eye on him, exasperated. "Is there anything else you need?"

"What, you're heading out already?"

"I have the worst headache." Davenport finished his drink and left the glass on the bar. "Surprised you don't have one, either."

"I can ignore it," Taako said, and Davenport walked off before he could say anything more. Damn. Taako thought he was bad about all this, but Davenport did not handle it well at all. Made sense, considering what hell Lucretia put him through. Except, even Taako was relieved enough over the end of the Hunger that he could set aside his anger for a few hours to celebrate. He had his whole life to mope over the past decade, and he sure wasn't going to do it now.

Carey ran right past Taako and snapped her fingers in the air. "Aw, man, was that Davenport?"  She shrugged her shoulders towards Taako. "Kinda wanted to catch him, he was so rad in that last fight!"

"Mhmm, for sure." Taako didn't know what to say to her, really. This was Magnus' friend, they hadn't hung out a lot. She was cool, he just didn't spend too much time with her.

"Had no idea he was a fucking pilot!" Killian walked past the pair and Carey grabbed her by the arm. She held out Killian's hand to show Taako. She wore an intricately carved ring on the same hand Taako wore Kravitz' ring. "Oh, hey, hey--Killian, let me show Taako the--check it!"

"Oh, neat-o." He nodded at the ring. Carey and Killian didn't seem impressed. "What?"

Killian crossed her arms, more menacing than she had any right to be in the moment. "You don't look excited."

Taako waved his hand in the air. "I knew it was comin', Magnus was whittling at that for weeks."

"Huh. That tracks." Killian grew a grin that split her face in half. "Now we'll just have to see who gets the wedding _first."_

"Oh, it's gonna be the two'a you." He laughed, knowing his and Kravitz' issues would push the wedding back way farther back than he would like it. "You think we're just tying the knot after a century? Hell no, we need a half decade to plan this wedding, at least."

Killian nodded. "It'll practically be a royal wedding, with how many people know about it."

"I mean, sure, definitely going to do a public one, but that's just for the fans." He couldn't stop the growing smile on his face. Even when he joked about Kravitz, he was fond. What the fuck happened to him? "The real masterpiece is the private one."

_"Two_ weddings?" Carey laughed, her head bouncing back and forth. "Well, la-dee-dah."

"I'm famous now, baby." Taako turned his nose up at Carey and pat her twice on the shoulder. "I'm sure yours will be _quaint."_

"Oh yeah?" Both smiled at each other, but Killian was the one to grab Carey by the waist and point threateningly at Taako. "It's on."

"If you think you can catch up." Taako waved them away. He was right in the middle of the action now, so if he wanted to get a word in to the rest of his former coworkers, he'd have to do it now. He just stopped by for a couple sentences with each one he knew the face of. Really, he didn't know _everyone,_ but everyone knew him. A couple guards cried in front of him? It was weird.

Not as weird as when Lucretia approached him, as if she had the right.

"I'll get out of your hair in a moment," she said, and if she _knew_ that her presence bothered him, why was she still talking? "I just wanted to thank you for...coming up with a better solution."

"Sure." Taako didn't want to give her the chance to explain.

She let out a heavy sigh. "I don't suppose any apology I have will do much, will it?"

"Nope." No room for conversation.

"Alright." Lucretia nodded, finally got the message, and left his line of sight. "I'll see you around, Taako."

"Hopefully not," he muttered. He turned around and ran right into another Bureau employee. Brendon? Brandon? The one with the annoying ponytail. Didn't matter, it was the guy that was constantly up Taako's ass to fill in paperwork, or whatever, and he did _not_ have the patience for that.

"Taako?" Brad (it was Brad, right?) offered a too-placating smile and had his hands clasped in front of him. "Uh, Leon says you were harassing him with an illusion of yourse--"

"I don't really work here anymore, uh, I don't--this isn't my department." Sure, he was being friendly to the rest of the Bureau, but thirty or so words exchanged with the Director tired him out. He was done. The night was over. "Taako's out."

He walked off, even at Brad's objections otherwise. Taako fiddled with his bracer. He needed one of those cannons to get back on the moon. Sure, he didn't want to live there forever, but that's where his current bed was. A bed at an inn would be fine, but his bed had one pillow that smelled like his fiancé's cologne, and. Yeah. Fuck it, call him lonely, he just had a life-altering experience. If he wanted to cuddle up next to a pillow that was even a vague reminder of his boyfriend who'd probably end up stuck at work for the next week, he had the right to do so.

But no cannons came. He saw Avi down at one of the tables, and _right. No operators._

"Aw, shit." Taako grimaced down at his bracer. "I'm guessing none of the cannons are active?"

"Since I'm here, no." Avi raised his drink in the air. He had another full one next to him, and _shit, people died in this fight._ Not anyone that Taako was specifically invested in, but. Whatever. "Hey, but aren't, like, most of your family agents of death? That apparently haven't been evil this whole time? They could give you a lift."

"Yeah, probably." Taako looked around the mass of partygoers, and couldn't see any faces he recognized. "Just gotta...find them."

Avi smiled and waved him off, oblivious to the great task ahead of Taako. "Good luck!"

As he searched through the crowd, the dense number of people became more and more unnerving. Taako knew nobody, these were all strangers. Some asked for autographs or handshakes as he walked through, because, _savior of the world, hello,_ but Taako found it more overwhelming than flattering. He needed to find Lup or Barry, _fast._

And then, a beacon ran right for him.

Little Angus McDonald tottered through the crowd with an aluminum can in his hands.

"Hey, little man, hold up." Taako snatched the can out of Angus' mitts and read the label. Oh, this was alcohol? He didn't care much what Angus did, this wasn't his kid, but it was weird to see such a goody-two-shoes with something he wasn't allowed to consume. "I'm not too keen on the elven drinking age in this plane, but it sure as hell isn't eight years old."

"Oh, heck no! It's not for me, sir. And I'm eleven now! Remember, at the wrestling ring?" He looked up at Taako, who _did_ remember it, but. Look. He's not gonna tell the kid that he remembered the date, because then he'd be obligated to buy him a present next year. But. Ugh, he'd probably end up doing that anyway. He'd have to think of a good excuse. Angus deflated when Taako didn't immediately answer. "Oh, well, I guess that was...a long time ago, it's okay if you don't!" 

"Do I have to call your dad or something?"

"No, I said it wasn't for me, I--I'm no chump!" Angus didn't make a move to take the can back. He was probably real uncomfortable holding it in the first place, the nerd. "Miss Killian asked me to grab it for her, which, I guess is kind of irresponsible on her part, but, also I think everyone's too tired to care!"

"You know, you're enough of a nerd that I believe that." Taako dropped the can back into Angus' hands. "Isn't it late?"

"I already meditated." 

"Sounds fake, but I don't actually care." Mostly because Angus _did_ seem like he was telling the truth. Maybe he'd get a real sleep in later. "You, uh...going back to...what? A rickety orphanage for nerd babies?"

"I'm going to stay with Avi for a couple weeks, and then with Carey and Killian, and then with Brad, and then..." Angus stumbled over some words and shrugged. "Um, you know! I'll probably enroll into Lucas' school for the arcane arts, when it opens?"

"Shit, he's opening a school?"

"Oh, no." Angus' toes turned in towards each other. He looked very interested in the floor all of a sudden. "I don't think I was supposed to tell you that."

Taako made a big deal of sighing. "I can keep a secret." Either way, he got insider information.

"I very well know you can't," he said, pouting.

"If you run out of couches to surf, drop by my pad even though it'll be a nightmare house for boys." God, he'd have to have an extra guest room in his house, wouldn't he? He thought he should have asked Kravitz if it would be okay to hold this kid in their house if he needed it, but...who was he kidding? Kravitz loved this kid.

"No, I'm good." Angus smiled brightly, happy that Taako invited him, even if it was in a confusing and roundabout way. "But maybe I'll see you during winter break!"

"You better, we have to work on getting some actual flavor in your baking." Taako pushed on Angus' back, corralling him off in the direction he thought he saw Killian and Carey go in last. "Get out of here, I've met my Angus quota for the day."

Angus disappeared into the crowd. "Bye, sir!"

Before Taako could go back to the exhausting task of finding Lup and Barry, he heard a familiar voice right behind his ear. "Aww."

He whipped around and saw Barry, wide smirk and glasses halfway down his nose. Taako shoved him with his elbow.

"Don't say a word," he threatened.

Barry let out a long, exaggerated breath. "I leave you for a decade and you've replaced me with a boy."

"I don't have the slightest clue what you mean." Taako turned to face Barry properly. "Boy isn't my brother, I'm allowed to have _two nerds_ in my life."

"If you say so." Without much warning, Barry moved forward and hugged him. "Missed you a lot, Taako."

"Do we have to do this right now?" Taako made a show of trying to break out of Barry's grasp, but he didn't want to actually break out. Hugs from Barry were always top tier, even if Taako wouldn't ever admit that. It brought out just a sliver of honesty in him, and oh god, he was talking without thinking, _abort._   "Listen, I didn't know who you were, but...I mean, other than when you got Merle's hand crystallized--"

"Merle insists it's Magnus' fault, so--"

"--you seemed like an okay dude." _Damn it,_ this exhaustion really got to him. He broke out of Barry's grasp and tried to change the subject. "Next time you get a day off, you're coming fishing with me."

"Oh, geez, you know I'm not--"

"--good at it, I know, what _ever."_ Taako flicked him on the shoulder. "Not the point."

"I don't really want to learn, either, 'cause, y'know, it wouldn't impress Lup in any new way that I haven't before." He grinned, too proud of himself.

"You two are gross." Taako looked around, too self conscious to say anything horribly private in the middle of the crowd. But he did miss his brother, and did need to tell him such. With subtlety. "Glad to know you weren't just a weird lich ghost for a decade."

"That'd be awful." Barry seemed to get the sentiment. "I'd get chased by bounty hunters."

"You think Kravitz would chas--" He wheezed out a laugh. "Actually, shit, he's done that a lot of times."

"I spent most of the decade with him, y'know. Kravitz and I are, like, best buds now."

"He wasn't before?" And, because Taako needed to end all sincerity with a tease, he added, "both of you are nerds."

"And you're not?" Barry pushed him lightly. "Wizards are the definition of nerds."

"Yeah? I make it cool." The party was still loud and Taako was still tired, but he was also kind of lonely. He didn't want to stop talking to Barry. He grabbed his brother-in-law's arm and tugged him towards the exit "It's loud in here, c'mon."

He chuckled. "Stealing me away?"

"You wish." Taako found a quiet little spot out in the bar's outdoor seating area. There were still a few people around, but not as bad as inside. Taako sat on a little half-wall over on the edge and pat the spot next to him. "We're sitting now."

Barry joined him with no hesitations. "You got it."

They didn't talk, because they didn't need to. They would have time to catch each other up later, Taako knew. But this was a good, calm moment. He hadn't felt _calm_ in a while. It was pitch black outside, enough to see stars. Constellations that Taako didn't know the names of, but that he learned the arrangement of during his travels. This world looked so much like home, and not because it physically looked like home. Taako spent a decade here, mostly alone. It was his.

"So you're the one hogging Barry," Lup said, and climbed over the half wall to sit next to Taako. "Should have guessed, since you two are always sleeping together."

"That was only when you were dead." Taako kept his eyes glued to the scenery. "Or missing."

"Sorry." She winced. "Didn't think I'd be gone for so long."

"Won't bring it up again." Taako held out an arm, and Lup scooted close to him, and they did the horrible sibling side-hug that Taako would only indulge in when they were both sad. "Well, uh, maybe later, but that's--way too much emotional labor for today."

"Hell yeah it is." Lup poked at Barry. "Oh my god, is he asleep?"

"He is."

"That's cute," she said, too fond. Hard to believe that both of them found stable and happy relationships. Taako was glad she had Barry, but not as much as Lup was relieved that he had Kravitz.

Taako snorted. "Doesn't even need to sleep anymore."

"It's been...emotionally exhausting." Lup flicked the brim of his hat down. "We can get you to bed, if you want."

"Yeah, just." Taako reached over for her hand and squeezed it. "A couple minutes."

She squeezed back. "As long as you need."

They both sat there, watched some clouds roll in. How long was it since Taako took a sit and watched the world go by with his sister? She was always so loud, and so was he to an extent, but this was. Nice. This was the world they saved.

...And, because Taako couldn't go three seconds without thinking of Kravitz, apparently, he just had to ask: "How long do you think it'll be before--"

"Probably not for a few days. He really fucked up with Legion." God, was he that obvious? She didn't even have to guess who he was talking about. She cuddled up closer. "But _we_ have those days off. Let's do something fun."

"Good, uh, 'cause." Taako hugged her tighter. Abandoned Barry at his side to make it a real hug. They hadn't done that in a while. "I. Did miss you."

"I missed you too." Lup squeezed him, borderline painful. "I'm glad you're safe. Relatively."

"Yeah, relatively." Taako pulled back, since. Yeah. He wanted to hug his sister. But also? Hugging a sibling for a long time is weird, no matter what. No reason why. It's just weird to hold for more than a few seconds. "I mean, also? I love Kravitz, but, uh. I will. Need lots of time with you." 

"I need lots of time with you, too." Lup smiled. "But now we have that."

"We do," he said, and turned his eyes to the rising sun. They'd partied all night, and they would continue to do so until it was time to rebuild. And, now, Taako was excited to build his life on this planet, because he spent enough time on it to know it wasn't dust.

* * *

It took about two months for Taako and Kravitz to get a house. 

Rebuilding took a long time, and the real estate market wasn't ready to go back into full swing until some basic systems were put back into place. Taako thought that was the perfect time to go put a stake out on some land, but Kravitz stared him down so he'd stop trying to hop some poor person's fence. The house they settled into was very nice, though, even if it was scarily empty when they walked through the door.

It was old, which Kravitz liked, but it had a nice kitchen, which Taako liked. A couple of guest rooms. It wasn't the house Taako would die in, and it wasn't the house they'd end up raising kids in, and it probably wasn't even a house they'd stay in after the wedding. But Taako wanted to get his businesses off the ground, so it couldn't be too elaborate. It probably wouldn't be that elaborate anyway--Taako didn't grow up with money, and spent a lot of his adult life in a cramped spaceship, it would be _weird_ if everything was gilded and fancy. That was his brand, for sure, but it didn't scream _home._

He had an itch for domesticity, and that caught him off guard.

Kravitz certainly didn't mind. Their first night, when they only had a bed set up and some toiletries laid out on the bathroom floor, Taako drunkenly babbled on about his plans for the house. Kravitz listened to every part of it, even though he was sure most of them were fake. When they went out to breakfast the next morning (since there were _zero_ groceries in the kitchen), they had a more sober conversation. Kravitz was delighted to hear about everything Taako wanted. Both of them were just so fucking excited to get on with their lives. Didn't have to worry about Kravitz getting his memory back, didn't have to wonder if Kravitz would kill him. Their relationship was normal-- _more normal,_ nothing between the two of them could ever be categorized as mundane.

And, yeah, their more normal relationship had a couple more fights than they were used to. They both got a little more annoyed by quirks they could brush over when they only had a few months with each other. But Taako felt safe with him, and could put in the extra work to smooth things over when it was his fault. Kravitz did the same for Taako for decades, he could stand to be a little more accommodating. It wasn't easy, but it felt worth it.

They didn't want to get married for another decade more. Didn't even touch wedding plans.

All they did was relish in the "getting-to-be-normal" domesticity.

"He-ey." Taako threw his cloak over the couch and called into the house. "I'm home."

"So you are." Kravitz came out of their room, already in pajama pants. He kissed Taako hello, like he had been for a month. "It's a little late, was everything alright with Ren?"

"Oh, I wasn't doing planning today." Taako's hand hovered over his own bicep. "I got a, uh. A present?"

"For me?"

"More like for me." He winked and stuck his tongue out. "Self care."

Kravitz looked around Taako for a box, or some physical evidence of a gift. "I don't see it, will it be delivered later?"

"Nope, c'mon." Taako held Kravitz' hand and tugged him to the bedroom. "I'll show you."

Taako pulled him into their room, the space they made together. They had gotten a bigger bed than the one they had on the Starblaster, and it felt more like an organic mesh between the two of them than just an allowance for Kravitz.

"Oh geez, is this going to be like--wait, am _I_ the present?" Kravitz wasn't nervous, it wasn't like this was a new thing, but he didn't ever like to be caught off guard with it. Taako learned that a long time ago.

"No--I mean, yeah, sure, later if you want--" Taako took off his shirt, and. Well. That wasn't a great way to convince Kravitz this wasn't a sex thing, but he needed all his shirts off for this one. He pointed to the bandage wrapped around his bicep. "Buu-uu-ut--"

Kravitz' reaction was immediate and full of worry. "You got hurt?"

"No. C'mon, shit, babe, you gotta let me speak up."

"Sorry."

"It's a tattoo," Taako explained, and peeled back the bandage protecting the ink. "It's _healing."_

"Oh!" Kravitz huffed out a laugh, not yet paying attention to the design of the tattoo. "I guess that will stay on your body, now."

"Hell yeah." Taako brushed his fingers over the design. It didn't hurt as much anymore. It still needed time to settle, but he liked how it looked so far. "I've been, uh, planning it for. A little bit now."

"Can I see?"

Taako sat down on the bed next to Kravitz, on the side of his tattoo so Kravitz could inspect it. It sat right next to Kravitz' magic soul tattoo, and was of the same design, but with black bars instead of silver (representing his partner's goddess, naturally) and a slightly varied positioning of dots.

"Taako--"

"We, uh, match." Taako moved his hand over Kravitz' tattoo, admiring it. He liked it. That was a good thing, since he had one now, too. "Is that creepy? God, if it's creepy, I'll turn it into something else."

"No! No, no, it's cute." Kravitz gingerly ran his finger over Taako's tattoo. It didn't hurt, so he let it happen. "They're not...the same dots, though?"

"I went back and thought about every year. And I put colors on them based on. Uh. How I liked the year."

"That's amazing." Kravitz smiled and kissed his cheek once, twice, three times. Grossly affectionate. Taako loved it.

"Didn't want to copy you. Made it my own." Taako stuck his tongue out. "Also, I have, like, way less dots."

"You didn't do it as long as I did." Kravitz took off his shirt, his whole tattoo in view now. He had five rows, compared to the four Taako had, but otherwise they looked pretty similar on the surface. "Can I compare?"

"Dude, you do _not_ have to ask to get shirtless in front of me, your shirt was already--" He figured he shouldn't complain. He liked seeing his fiancé, and this made the experience a little more personal. Taako pointed to the extra dots that Kravitz acquired before he met Taako. "So, all of this white space--"

"I stopped caring until I, um." Kravitz fiddled with his arm, self-conscious. "I would say until I met you, but, your crew also."

"I mean, they're cool." Both of their dots for the first year signaled despair, even though he didn't feel like that in retrospect. "I, uh, thought you were gone that first year, so--"

"They're both blue, yeah." Kravitz reached for Taako's hand. "We didn't know."

Taako pointed at the next dot. "And then yellow?"

"I didn't know what to think of the whole situation." Kravitz counted and found the corresponding dot on Taako's arm. "Yours is blue?"

"You yelled at me," he said, ears pinned back. "Like, don't worry about it now, but. It was just, uh..."

"I know." Kravitz kissed his forehead as an apology. "I'm sorry."

"It's all good now." It didn't do much good for them to dwell on the bad years, especially when they were recovering from the apocalypse. Taako found the first pink dot. "The boat year was fun."

"It was." His smile turned shy. "I, um. I like touching your soul."

"Gross!"

"It's intimate!" 

Taako scoffed. "As long as it doesn't kill me, you can touch it."

"Are you sure?" he asked, and when Taako nodded, Kravitz phased his hand into his chest. Taako felt that same sensation he had during year six, but _more,_ since their relationship was more developed. He whined and leaned forward to kiss Kravitz during it, needing more contact. Kravitz pulled out of his chest and smiled.

"Are you _kidding?"_  Taako moved closer, breathless. "Why haven't you pulled that out more?"

"It's intimate, I told you."

"Yeah, and I want to be intimate with you." Taako dropped a kiss on Kravitz' neck. "Get that through your thick skull."

Kravitz only hummed. He knew that, and Taako knew he knew it, but the reassurance warmed him all the same. Kravitz looped his hand around the back of Taako's tattoo. "Oh, that time in the mushroom kingdom..." Kravitz' hand passed over a red dot that matched one of Kravitz' blue dots. "I'm sorry about that one. You were angry?"

"You killed all my friends and my sister and shoved us in an hourglass, of course I was." Whoops, that sounded more aggressive than he was going for. "I know it wasn't you, but..."

"You're allowed to be mad the years I _killed_ you, you know." Kravitz looped an arm around Taako's waist and spoke softly into his ear. "It will never happen again."

"What about when I die of natural causes?"

"Lup will kill you." It might have meant to come out as a joke, but he sounded too remorseful for it to be funny. "I'm done killing you."

"That's fair." Touchy subject. No need to get into that now. Taako found one of Kravitz' orange dots, and found that his own was orange, too. "Fourteen was fun."

"I'm kind of glad you didn't go after me." Kravitz ran fingers through Taako's hair, undoing his braid. "Seemed like you needed a break."

"Pssh, and then have all that gap in action?" Taako turned his head into Kravitz' hand. Yeah. Get _right_ into that comfort shit. Lovely. "Didn't get to kiss 'ya until cycle seventeen."

"I liked that one." He smiled. "I liked all the ones we could stay together longer."

"Did that include the one I kept you in a jar?"

"No, uh--" That did seem to strike a nerve. "I didn't like the enclosed space. But I didn't mind it when I remembered."

"Shouldn't have struck that deal with Barry."

"I wanted to remember you." Kravitz glanced back down at the tattoo. Too nervous to talk about that in any further depth. He found another pink dot on Taako's tattoo. "Remember our wedding?"

"It was quaint." Not perfect, since neither of them had a say in it, really. "More looking forward to the one we plan."

"Oh, definitely." Careful not to cross any boundaries, Kravitz laid a hand on Taako's knee and kissed him, slow and soft. "Just...being married to you was a good feeling."

"And this?" Taako kissed him again, eyes fluttering shut.

"What we have now is even better," Kravitz said against his lips, "I have...so many things to say to you on the altar, though."

"Why not tell me now?"

"I want to save some mystery." He squeezed Taako's forearm. "I am sorry about the year after, though..."

"It's fine," Taako said, voice tight.

"It isn't."

"We can talk about it later." This was a fun trip down memory lane, not a horrible trip during _lost memories_ lane. "I'd, uh, rather talk about how cute and flustered you were the year after that."

"That meal, uh--" Kravitz snapped his fingers as he tried to remember the exact night. "That made you want to make the...it was called a taco?"

"Yep! I'll have to make it for you sometime."

An evil grin broke out on Kravitz' face. "But I've already--"

_"Don't--"_

"--eaten a Taako." Kravitz ducked _just in time_ to avoid the pillow Taako aimed at his face. "It's _true!"_

"Engagement rescinded." Taako crossed his arms and sat at the edge of the bed.

"You'd never."

"Try me."

And then Kravitz kissed him again with just a smidge more passion. _Yes,_ yep, these wouldn't ever get old. It was nice to have a partner that knew all his preferences. If he wanted, Kravitz could probably take him apart in seconds. But he would never, because he liked to savor the moment. 

"Cycle thirty-five," he said against his lips, finger pressed down on Taako's pink dot from that year, "office romance."

"You know it." Taako found another orange dot on Kravitz and poked it. "Hey, remember when I almost destroyed Lup's relationship with Barold?"

"She was just having some issues. You have...similar ones. That have dulled over time." He smoothed out some of Taako's hair that flew away in the kiss. "She got back on track at the conservatory." Kravitz pouted. "I'm still mad you didn't play an instrument."

"That's _such_ a weird fetish!"

He bit back a laugh. "Says the man who had the chance to vore me on the jello planet."

_"I passed that up!"_ Taako's voice cracked from how high he went on that one, trying to speak over Kravitz' hysterical laughter. "I explicitly ran away from that!"

"Oh?" Kravitz came down from his giggling fit, tried to put on his smooth voice. "You didn't run away from me the year I had glasses, that seemed like it was a fetish."

Taako pushed him away. "I'm _cancelling_ this engagement."

"You already threatened that." Kravitz looked at his own tattoo, and paused. "You know, I'm sorry I didn't tell you I remembered on cycle sixty-ni--"

_"Nice."_

"Nine." He rolled his eyes. "I just didn't want to reap you."

"It's cool." Taako got off the bed and went to his closet. Decided he needed to grab his pajamas now. Comfy time. "It was a cute surprise when you actually did remember."

"That was the perfect year, I think." Kravitz flopped down on the bed face down. He grabbed a pillow and spoke into it. "I--just. Felt more connected to you than I ever had before."

Taako turned around once he got his pajamas on, saw Kravitz' embarrassed face red and pressed into the pillow. Too fucking cute. "You can't say sappy shit like that and not expect me to kiss you."

Kravitz lifted his face out of the pillow. "I would like a kiss, though."

There was really no way for Taako to deny that.

He wasn't sure when Kravitz pulled him back on the bed, but he wouldn't dare to complain about that. Their reunion was still fresh enough that Taako clung to him when he had the chance. Sure, he could be gooey and affectionate when the feeling came over him, but lately, it overflowed more often. Maybe it was the decade apart. Maybe it was the second engagement. Maybe it was the victory. Maybe it was the house. Or a combination of all those things. It didn't matter. They pulled away so Taako could breathe and took a minute to look at each other. Taako didn't have his glamour on, he never did when he got home with Kravitz--they had that conversation, and he wouldn't leave the house without it. But he could be here. Comfortable. 

"You're such a sap," Kravitz said, hand in his hair.

"It's your fault." Taako laced his fingers together with Kravitz, felt the cool metal of his ring on his hand. "Gave me this ring."

"My original plane didn't have rings as a symbol of marriage, but..." He chuckled nervously. He didn't get nervous as much as he normally did. More rare now that he was comfortable. "Yours did, so, um."

"You're cute."

_"You're_ cute," he insisted. Kravitz kissed him again, shorter, sweeter. "It took us...a while to actually get engaged, but I think it was worth it."

Taako took the opportunity to cuddle up closer to Kravitz. "It was delayed."

"Still worth it." Kravitz moved so that he wasn't jutting out in a weird diagonal on the bed. "And now we can actually start our life together."

"Finally," Taako muttered.

"Mhmm." Kravitz moved under the covers, opened the other side so Taako would join him. "I love you."

"Love you, too." Taako crawled in next to him, but didn't settle down  _quite_ yet. "You know? We haven't done anything in this bed yet."

"We haven't." Kravitz pulled him down to lay next to him. "But I'd rather you rest your arm."

"It's not that big of a deal."

"We'll get plenty of chances later." He smiled, nervous. "I, uh...kind of just want to cuddle."

"Oh, why didn't you say so?" Taako settled in his favorite spot, nuzzled under Kravitz' chin. He decided to face him. It wasn't for any sentimental reason. Just that. He'd be laying on his tattoo otherwise. "I'll take that _any day."_

Kravitz kissed his forehead. "Because you're a sap."

"You're on thin ice."

"Sure." Kravitz rubbed at the tense spot on Taako's shoulders. The spot loosened up over the month, somehow. "If you say so."

Taako would fight him on that, but his own body betrayed him. His chest started up a low rumble. Without drawing any attention to it, he mumbled out one more, "love you," and rested his arms around Kravitz. There was still a lot of work to do to recover, but if he could come home like this everyday? All of that would be worth it.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> so, like, TECHNICALLY this is the last chapter? but there is an epilogue. And that should go up....ah, you know what? valentine's day is in two weeks. epilogue's going up on valentine's day and it'll be extra schmoopy. 
> 
> thanks to everyone who reads and drops a comment! ya'll make my weeks! again, it takes me a while to answer all of them, but know that i'm reading them in the meantime. you're all awesome!
> 
> Like I said before, I probably only have one more longfic in me for this fandom? places to go and original content to make. there are still some little oneshots and a couple multichapters under 10k, but i'm winding down! (SPEAKING of original content--I am a co-host of the podcast Look How Sane And Linear We Are Being, which is a homestuck fancast in the year of our lord 2019 where I read and review homestuck with someone who has never touched it before. it's not technically a fancast, since we dunk on the comic so hard (lovingly, I guess), but please give it a shot if you know anything about the comic! and now you know my secret shame. i called john's dad a dilf in one of the episodes we just recorded that hasn't aired yet. it's fun. join us!)
> 
> anyway, the next longfic? it'll still be taakitz. because i came up with. the best idea. not saying what it is yet..... :) but it probably won't come out for a few months, I want to write most of it before I start posting!
> 
> thanks, everyone!


	27. At Home, Together

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> One last thing.

It was a tradition on Kravitz' home plane for two spouses to not see each other a full day before a wedding.

A tradition that Taako kicked himself in the face for deciding to follow through with. Sure, he wasn't _attached_ to Kravitz. This wasn't some codependency bullshit. He had plenty of nights in a row where he slept alone, when Kravitz was off on months-long missions. He welcomed a bit of healthy distance between the two of them. They weren't attached at the hip. They weren't less close, either, but the two were just more comfortable in the relationship after such a long time. It was _nice_ to be together, but they could rein it in when they couldn't make that happen. But it was the night before his own damn wedding, was it really too much to ask for him to cuddle up next to his husband-to-be? Just a little bit of comfort to settle the nerves.

The pillow would have to do.

It wasn't that Taako was nervous about getting married. Hell no, he wanted this for decades. This was another box ticked off their big life plan. They would ride on the memory of drunken wedding dancing and good cake for a decade and a half, and then could turn their attention to whatever their next big life endeavor was. He was excited about all that. Couldn't wait for it.

Just... _getting_  there put an edge to him that he didn't know what to do with.

Tomorrow was supposed to be one of the best days of his life, he knew. Better than the big, public wedding. It was still a big wedding, but it was a _quiet_ affair on Merle's property. Or. As quiet as anything on Merle's property could get. Only people they knew by name and face could attend, no press allowed, that sort of thing. Where they got Angus to be the ring-bearer even though he was approaching thirty, where Magnus would cry so hard his eyes would fall out, where Taako would read his own self-written vows. Where someone would probably pass out drunk, and Lup would do something stupid out of joy. He could steal Kravitz away during the reception and they'd pass out in the wedding suite after a whole night of wedding shenanigans from their family.

Something about it still felt off.

It was everything the two of them agreed on, everything they both said they wanted. And it _was,_ that wasn't a lie, at least not on Taako's end. But he couldn't shake the feeling that something was wrong, that this wasn't how it should go.

He knocked his skull lightly against the headboard, not enough to hurt, but enough to _maybe_ tap the idea in his mind that this was all okay. Hell, it was with Kravitz, so could he fucking chill for two minutes? There was no reason to be worried, or jittery. Taako hugged the pillow tighter, let out a long breath. This would all be easier if he could go unconscious for eight hours. He'd even settle for four hours of meditation, if his thoughts would just fucking _calm down_ enough for him to slip into it. But _no,_ Taako was restless, in every definition.

This wasn't fair! How many times did he have to tell himself that he wanted this? It wasn't fair to him and it wasn't fair to Kravitz. Dude already had one bad marriage, there wasn't any good in piling another on top of him. Was Taako just fucking _broken?_ He had half a mind to go find Lup and call off the wedding entirely. He didn't want to, but he _did_ want to. Why was his brain so scrambled?

This was useless.

He shouldn't be hugging a pillow the night before his wedding, wallowing in his own self pity. He had a loving fiancé, and he _would_ have a loving husband if he could just survive the night and get through the ceremony. The ceremony where he'd have to do, like, public displays of affection and shit. God, if he couldn't even slog through that, did he even deserve to get married? Maybe Kravitz would be better off with someone more well adjusted, more openly affectionate, or someone that didn't sell their face off to some podunk liches--

They say people with a guilty conscience are more easily startled.

Which was probably why Taako sprang out of bed at the sound of a quiet tap on the window.

Taako dug himself out of the bedsheets and stood up. He snapped his head towards the window and found a pitch black raven on the sill. A normal person in a normal relationship might be worried about such a dark omen appearing the night before a wedding, but Taako was _literally_ marrying death. This was a good sign. He smiled and moved to pick the sheets off the ground. Things were good. One of the Raven Queen's familiars just came to check up on him, that was all. He had a dull thought in the back of his mind to grab something to feed it when the raven pecked more insistently on the window. The raven flitted back and forth, and a human voice came out from the beak, even though it was muffled through the window pane.

Oh, oh _shit,_ that wasn't a familiar. That was Kravitz.

A welcome distraction, really. Taako opened the window and took a good look at his fiancé. Just. A raven. Like the first year they met. He was cute like this, but Taako wasn't up to make out with him in this form. Some of his nerves fluttered away at the sight of Kravitz, even if he was a bird. Was that a good thing? Did that mean the nerves were just his imagination? Taako pulled himself together enough to put on a teasing little smile, pushing through his own insecurities.

"Well, look who couldn't stay away." Taako leaned on the windowsill and rested his chin in his hands. "What happened to that whole _don't see each other until the wedding_ business?"

"I remembered it was a tradition on _your_ home plane for one person to sneak in to visit their spouse-to-be." Kravitz adjusted himself on the sill, never very graceful when he moved in his bird form. "Would you like me to leave?"

"Hell no! Get in here." Taako extended an arm out. Kravitz hopped on. For such a big bird, he didn't weigh very much. It wasn't clear if that was because Taako didn't actually know how much birds weighed or if Kravitz' soul wasn't able to carry as much weight. Did it matter? Taako brought him inside, let him down on the bed. "Don't stay as a bird too long, or else someone'll call me out on another weird fetish."

Kravitz hopped off his arm. He melted into a pool of light and reformed into one of his human looks. One where he was softer and with a lot of bulk to hug. One of Taako's favorites. All of them were his favorites, but this was just what he needed. 

"Does this form work?" Kravitz asked, opening his arms to greet Taako.

"Any form works on you." Taako obliged. He hugged Kravitz for a short moment before patting him on the back and pushing him farther back on the bed. "But this is perfect, you look due for a sit."

"So do you." Kravitz moved more comfortably on the bed. Made a spot for Taako to occupy, positioned pillows so everything was perfect. "I saw you hugging a pillow."

"I've gotten so used to those good hugs that I'm going through withdrawal." Taako crawled into Kravitz' side and nuzzled up close. This already felt better. At least Taako could tell that he wasn't scared of Kravitz. This was good. He could do this for a long, long time. No commitment issues there. It didn't explain why he dreaded the wedding, but it was a start. "This is your fault."

Kravitz laughed and blew a raspberry on Taako's cheek. "Oh, _sor-ry_   for showering you with unending affection, dear."

"You should be _ashamed,"_ he said, and wiped off the spit from his face.

"I am, deeply." He laughed again, held Taako tight and swayed back and forth with him. Just playing around. "How could I ever make it up to you?"

"I'm sure you'll think of something." Taako pushed him down to stay still, couldn't hold back his own giggles as Kravitz launched an affectionate attack onto him. It wasn't like he was unused to it, but Kravitz wasn't like this _every_ day, they'd been at this for decades. They were both calmer about the whole thing now, sparks exchanged for a continuous, comforting flame. "Okay-- _okay,_ wow, what's gotten into you today?"

"I feel like I'm entitled to be a little excited," Kravitz said with a huff. "Aren't you?"

"Well--" Shit. Taako put on a too-wide smile and kissed Kravitz' cheek. "Yeah."

"Wait." Kravitz put a little distance between the two of them, always accommodating. Always ready to drop whatever fun plans he had at the drop of a hat if it made Taako uncomfortable. "Oh, no, you--um, did you want me to leave?"

"No! No, uh, it's nice. When you're here." Taako immediately scooted back into Kravitz' arms, insisting he wanted them back. "I probably needed this."

At least that got Kravitz to hold him again. He still looked concerned, and, again, _nice._ "Are you nervous?"

"About marrying you? No," Taako said, and even he could tell that wasn't all that convincing.

"Well..." Kravitz didn't immediately freak out. He was steady enough in their relationship to know that one little flash of nerves wasn't going to tear down their entire relationship. He thought for a moment, and then leaned over to kiss Taako's temple. "Then what can I do to help calm you down?"

"Fucking unfair you can do a read like that," he grumbled.

"I've been with you for decades, dear, I have a doctorate in knowing when you're stressed." He cocked his head to the side and let out an undignified snort. Kept the conversation light, because if it wasn't, Taako would bolt. "And I know what pre-wedding jitters look like."

"These're probably different from the ones you had." Taako pulled the sheets over the two of them. Kravitz didn't act like he planned on leaving anytime soon, and Taako wanted to take full advantage of that. "I actually _want_ to get married to you, y'know."

"No doubts about that." Another kiss to the cheek. "Let me know what I can do."

"Just, uh..." He snuggled up closer. "You know. The usual."

"Of course," Kravitz said with a soft laugh. Decades of practice helped the two of them learn how to cool each other out. They had a system worked out. Sometimes they used it after fights, but most of the time it was meant to loosen away the stress from a bad day. When Kravitz was strung up, Taako knew to make comfort food and draw a bath. He knew to let Kravitz vent out what was wrong until he tired himself out, not to offer advice because that would stress him out even more.

And when Taako felt like shit, Kravitz' strategy was to get him comfortable and purring.

He claimed there was some science about the vibrations having a calming effect, but Taako didn't buy that for a second. He knew Kravitz just _liked_ the sound. But he didn't complain, either. Kravitz could only get the sound out when Taako was completely relaxed, so it worked out anyway. All Taako really needed was a good cuddle anyway. A reminder that he wasn't alone, something to ground his anxious thoughts. Kravitz would kiss at his hairline and rub on his tight shoulders until the sound came out, and then they'd talk about nothing. Or Kravitz would subtly try to knock the conversation in a direction that would get Taako talking about what bothered him.

"Remember when this was rare?" Kravitz asked once Taako's chest started rumbling like a motor, and, oh boy. Taako knew where this was going. Kravitz wanted to pry some information out of him. But-- _ugh, he'd gone so soft over the years--_ maybe it wouldn't be the worst thing in the world to talk it out? He knew Kravitz wouldn't leave him if he said some wrong things. So. Yeah, he'd bite. Maybe he'd be able to get answers out of his own dumb skull and figure out why he felt so nervous.

Woohoo, emotional honesty.

"I mean, kind of feels like there was good reason for it to be rare," he said, voice vibrating as he mumbled through his sentence, "the, uh, the Hunger wasn't so inviting, y'know?"

"I know." Kravitz passed a hand through Taako's hair, pressed his lips to the top of his head. "I meant that more like...I'm glad you feel safe now."

"Well...yeah." Taako closed his eyes and smushed his nose into the crook of Kravitz' neck. "Everything's great now."

"Not _everything."_   Kravitz took in a breath he didn't need. "It is a lot better, though. No more running."

Taako elected not to answer that. Just let out a soft _mmrp_   so Kravitz knew he heard it. Kravitz let that line of conversation die out, since it didn't lead anywhere. He shifted his form very slightly, keeping all of his features but with his race shifted to a full elf. Within seconds of the change, a resonant vibration came out of Kravitz.

"Trying to get in on the fun?" Taako teased.

"I'm trying to calm your nerves." Thankfully, Kravitz spared him the "facts" that extra vibrations helped with stress relief. Taako did not believe that one bit, thank you, no matter how nice it felt when he had their cats on his stomach as he slept. "Remember, at the end of tomorrow we'll be back in this room, exhausted and married."

"...and then we have to do the public wedding," he said, and the purring didn't stop. Okay. So his problem wasn't with the public wedding.

"Not for another few months." Kravitz pulled back just enough to look Taako in the eye. Searched for any signs of discomfort. "And if it's making you too nervous, we could always cancel it and announce we had a private ceremony."

No, that wasn't where the weird feeling was. "Kind of a downer, though, for the whole universe and everything."

"But if it's making you feel off..."

"I've got a brand, you know." Taako punctuated that with a kiss to Kravitz' nose. "Only cancelling it if you don't want it."

He shook his head and stopped purring. Did that mean he didn't like the idea? "Personally, I'm fine with it, I just--I don't want it if it's tearing you up."

"Hell no! Look, it's just--that one doesn't matter, y'know, it's not." Taako sank his face into a pillow as he tried to find the right words. "Like, it's more like a, fuckin', public event. I don't even, uh, register that as _ours,_ it's like, uh, a performance?"

"I can see that." Kravitz settled back down, but Taako didn't feel any better.

"It's not a personal little thing where we have to read original vows and say them out in front of our friends, it's just like." Taako dimly realized the vibrating in his ribs stopped a couple minutes ago, and he tried to trace back what made him  "It's not even a thing, you know?"

"Hold on a moment." Kravitz' eyes widened and he paused, like he found a cursed piece of treasure. "Are you nervous about _tomorrow's_ wedding?"

"What? No. No, not at all." The troubled stare Kravitz shot his way wormed some of that verbal honesty out of his mouth. Taako groaned. "Kind of?"

"Taako."

"Fine! Yeah, it's." Taako kicked at the sheets, frustrated at the gross amount of honesty and the fact that he couldn't put a pin in the exact thought that made him feel bad. He wanted this, but he wanted it to be done with, didn't want to go through the motions of it all. "I mean, like, I'm tired of calling you my fiancé, I want that husband cred, it's just...I don't know."

"We can postpone the wedding again, if you need." Kravitz reached forward to give him a reassuring kiss. "You postponed the last one for me."

"No, I, uh, really want this." Taako reached for Kravitz' hand and squeezed it so hard the knuckle whitened. "We're practically married already, it's not like anything's gonna change."

"But?"

"I don't know." He curled his toes in. "Feels weird."

 

Kravitz frowned, his face turned to the wall. "Well, I certainly don't want you to feel weird on our wedding day..." 

 

"I guess weird isn't the right word?" Restless again, Taako sat up. Brought the sheets with him. "Like, obviously, I love you, and you know that. That's not up for debate, it's just, uh, a fact."  He shot one smile backwards to Kravitz in the hopes that it'd be reassuring. "But, also? I don't, uh...like being like--" He gestured in between him and Kravitz, in bed together, with pajamas and without glamours and stupidly domestic. _"--this,_ in public?"

Kravitz sat up straight too, his back against the headboard as he thought. "No, you really don't..."

"And, sure, maybe from like, an outsider's perspective I'm just as obvious about how much I love you. I don't know. The most I do is, like, hug you when I see you unexpectedly, and that's. Not a big deal, I don't care if other people see that." Taako scooted his butt up near Kravitz and laid up against the headboard with him. "It's just, y'know, declaring my undying love for you--"

"It better not be undying, that would be a crime against the Raven Queen," he said, with a smartass smile.

"Is _eternal_ better for you, then? Nice of you to interrupt our little heart-to-heart, here." Taako knocked his shoulder against Kravitz'. Pretended to be annoyed, even though he was grateful Kravitz lightened the mood up a bit. "It's just that. I know that people _know_ that we're, like, a big serious thing, but. I don't want to get schmoopy out in front of everyone we know, that's--" Taako paused, realized that sounded bad. Shit.  "Uh, and, to be clear, I'm not. Embarrassed of you, or anything, you're, uh--"

"I know." Kravitz didn't look worried, just moved up closer and laced his fingers through Taako's. "It's a little embarrassing for me to be so affectionate in public, too."

Okay. Alright, cool, Kravitz knew what he was getting at. Taako squeezed his hand. "Thought you just never did it 'cause you were being nice."

"It certainly doesn't bother me as much as it bothers you." Kravitz dropped his head onto Taako's shoulder. "But there are a lot of things that are for your eyes only."

"Exactly! It's nobody else's business." At least he wasn't the only one. It wasn't a big deal, he could push that away for the wedding. "It's cool, though, really, I can get it done for the ceremony tomorrow."

"Are you sure?"

"Don't want you to miss out on it. It's your wedding day, too."

"I've done it before." Kravitz shrugged, kept his eyes forward. "The ceremony part isn't all that fun, it's a lot of reading off texts and waiting for fanfare to go off."

"The fun part's the reception, right?"

"Oh, of course!" Kravitz lit up, brought his face level to Taako's. Even after so many years, a little spark of thrill would sometimes run through Taako when they were close like this. Kravitz smiled, let his unoccupied hand lay on top of Taako's other hand. "I can't wait to dance with you, and listen to whatever horrible speech Magnus said he had planned--"

"--oh _shit,_ I forgot about that--"

"--and, it's going to be fun." He stole a quick kiss and gave Taako some of his space back. "But my point is, if that's not something you're looking forward to, we don't have to do it. I don't want you to feel pressured."

"The, uh, reception isn't--I'm not dreading that, hell no, that'll be a fucking trip." Taako laughed as he imagined a couple scenarios. "It's just, y'know, we've got to get through the ceremony and the, uh, the vows, in front of people. But I can do that."

"Well," Kravitz said, plain and calm, "let's not do the ceremony, then."

Oh _holy shit,_ no. "No, like, obviously I want to marry you--"

"I know." He dropped his voice down to a whisper. "I'm saying, let's sneak out right now and get it done."

"You think I can wake up Merle in the middle of the night?"

"Barry and Lup and Julia are all servants of the Raven Queen too, _my_ goddess." Kravitz jumped in his spot, an idea popped into his head. "Hell, we can go directly to her to get it done privately, she loves you."

"She does weddings?" Taako could imagine that one, but only because of how goth-ed out Barry and Lup's wedding turned out to be.

"Not of the general public, but. She's done a few for her other servants." Kravitz reached forward to cup Taako's face, beaming. "We can still do the reception tomorrow, that will be the most fun, but I wouldn't mind eloping with you tonight."

"Really?" It was a hell of an offer.

"Really," he confirmed, serious.

Taako took a moment to think on it. And then he immediately decided he wanted it. What was a better 'zag than announcing a wedding after two decades of buildup and then eloping the night before? The _prestige!_ He could still indulge in all of the fun parts of the event, but without the ones that made him emotionally open and honest in front of everyone he cared about. No thanks! Kravitz looked like he was really excited about the idea, too.

"We can do that?" Taako asked once more, just to make sure.

"I'd love to." Kravitz smiled wide enough now that his whole face threatened to crack in two. "We can cut loose and have fun tomorrow, but I think I like saving this--" Kravitz swiped a thumb over Taako's smile. "--for myself."

"Selfish," Taako teased.

Kravitz stole a kiss. "So are you."

"Hey, you signed up for this." Taako turned the thought over in his head a few times. His family would probably kill him if he went out and eloped. He didn't actually care. Well--okay, he did. But only for one person. "Can we bring Lup? She's, uh, the only person I think I'd want to be there."

"We can go wake her up." Kravitz stalled for a moment, and then added, "can I bring Barry?"

"Yeah, yeah, that's--" Taako thought on it, and decided that was fine, too. He could be schmoopy in front of Barry. This was Kravitz' wedding as much as it was Taako's, it was a relief he spoke up about something he wanted. "That's a great plan."

"Uh, let me just--" Kravitz sat up straighter and his clothes turned to fog. A nice suit stitched itself behind the mist, and _hell no, that wouldn't do._

"That's no fair, you can make whatever outfit you want--" Taako reached into the fog and touched what was probably a portion of Kravitz' soul. It wouldn't be the first time. "No, no, we're both doing this as-is, no magic fog suit for you."

"You want to get married in our _pajamas?"_

"Do you want to wait two hours while I put on a wedding look?" Taako raised his brows, but Kravitz didn't answer. "No? Then you don't get to look snazzy either."

"Fair enough." Kravitz morphed his pajamas back on and rolled his eyes. "Let's get out of here."

Taako grabbed him by the wrist and ran out the door. Merlegaritaville's wedding suite was on the top floor of the nicest building Merle acquired, so they had to go down a couple floors to find Lup and Barry's room. Whenever they visited and couldn't fit everyone in Merle's home, Lup insisted Merle put her in room four hundred and twenty, so it wasn't difficult to find her.

He didn't bother to stay quiet. Taako whacked his elbow against the door, knowing the two of them were either asleep or fucking. He _super_ hoped they were asleep. "Open up!"

After a minute of fumbling on the other side of the door, Lup swung the door open. She had a thin film of sweat over her brow and had a hastily-tied robe around her, but her expression softened when she saw Taako.

"Kind of had a feeling you'd be here tonight." She adjusted her robe, and _yeah, okay, she was definitely fucking Barry just then._ Taako decided not to think about that at all, but admired her dedication to stop in the middle to answer the door. Lup smiled. "Want to get sloshed?"

"Nope, I've got a better plan." Taako kicked the door wider to reveal Kravitz to her. He waved.

"Oh, hey, brother-in-law-to-be." She waved back, and then cast a suspicious eye at Taako. "I thought you two weren't supposed to see each other until tomorrow."

"Do I look like I have that much patience?" Taako clapped his hands once and turned down the hall. "C'mon, we're getting married right now."

"Right _now?"_ She pulled her robe even closer to her, and _Taako would **not** think about that, thank you very much._  Lup shouted into the hall. "What about tomorrow?"

"Cancelling the ceremony, we're just doing the reception." He stopped walking and shouted down the hall so Lup could hear him. "Get Barry too, Kravitz wants him there."

"Wait a minute, you plan a wedding for _two decades--"_ She made a little groan of frustration, one that Taako knew all too well. "And you're going to skip it? Like that?"

"I could have _not_ invited you." Taako kept his back to Lup, knowing that she'd stare him down into backing out of the idea if he made eye contact.

"You would have died."

"And that's why you and Barold are coming, hop to it."

"You two are horrible," Lup grumbled, and shut the door.

Kravitz waved at the door as she closed it. "Thank you, Lup." He turned his attention to Taako and scooped him up in a kiss, just because he could.

Taako sat with Kravitz outside the room while Barry and Lup made themselves presentable. Kravitz took a moment to contact his goddess to make sure he wouldn't be intruding on anything if he popped in. Taako could have ran back and changed out of his sleeping clothes, but he already committed to the goof and figured it would be too much trouble. It didn't take long for them to file out of the room, looking better than Kravitz and Taako combined. Lup brought out a glass covered in cloth, and Barry propped a flower behind Kravitz' ear (since he didn't have a pocket). Taako didn't give them the time to tease, and Kravitz cut a rift into the Raven Queen's throne room.

It was already decorated for a wedding. Not anything seen on the Material plane, no--it was much too goth for that. Lilies and ravens littered all the blank spots, everything else was draped in a deep purple and silver. The Raven Queen sat on her throne, but there was a space cleared in front of her for a little altar and a wedding arch. Istus was off to the side with a couple more chairs for viewing.

If Kravitz didn't have his skin on, his jaw would have fallen onto the floor. "What is all--"

"This?" The Raven Queen laughed, and the whole room shook from it. "Istus warned me this would happen, so I thought it would be best to prepare." Her head tilted to the side, amused. "Honestly, Kravitz, do you know how to say no to him?"

"Do you know how to say no to Istus?" Taako asked, and Kravitz whacked him in the arm for the irreverent comment.

_"Taako!"_

"He's right," Istus said, her knitting needles raised high.

"Come here." The Raven Queen ignored all of this and gestured for Taako to move closer. He shot a concerned look at Kravitz, but did so anyway. She cupped his face in her hand and turned to Istus. "I hope you know this means I get to claim him when he dies."

"That's one of my emissaries, you can't," Istus said, voice turned sour.

"I _can,"_   she insisted.

Istus paused, and snipped her thread with a large pair of shears. "You won't."

"...A fair point." The Queen let go of Taako and pointed a taloned finger at Kravitz. "Alright, we should get this going, shouldn't we?"

With a smile, Kravitz moved up next to Taako. Lup and Barry sat off to the side to watch with Istus, and the Raven Queen brought out a very old, very heavy book. Taako and Kravitz removed their rings and handed them off to the Queen. They started the ceremony without much fanfare, launched right into it to get the whole thing done.

Kravitz was right.

The ceremony was _monumentally_ boring.

Taako could have fallen asleep during the whole thing, but _no,_ he wasn't that bad. This was his wedding, damn it, he would stay fully present for the whole thing. Even if that meant exchanging confused looks with Lup across the room and checking a watch that wasn't on his wrist. Kravitz wasn't offended by any of these antics, and even joined in a few of his own. He mouthed _it's almost time, you're doing great_ a few times, to the point where Taako wondered if it really _was_ almost time for the vows.

But then the Queen placed one of the rings in Kravitz' hands and asked him for his vows. All of Kravitz' attention turned to Taako, and _yowza,_ it'd been a while since he watched him with that level of intensity. It was good. Thrilling. Almost made Taako forget where he was and what he was doing, but then he started talking, and. Right. _Wedding._

"Taako," Kravitz said, starting out with a voice full of love and joy--and then, his nose bunched up and he frowned. "I can't believe you dragged me over here in the middle of the night to get married." The smile came back, accompanied with a little laugh. "And that's why I love you, you--you never do things the way they're meant to be done. Sometimes that's amazing and sometimes it's frustrating, but it's always _you,_ and your 'brand.'" He squeezed Taako's hand. "You're so full of life, and you're so bright, I--I'm just constantly surprised. By everything you do. It's chaos, but I love that about you."

"I fell in love with you a hundred times. Possibly more. I think I still do it now. And I don't intend to stop falling in love with you, once this is over." All of Kravitz' attention was on him as he spoke, soft and deliberate. "I know we decided to do this because you were too shy to say what you wanted in front of everyone, but even if you said nothing to me right now, I'd know how much you love me. Because you don't need words to shower me with affection, you've certainly proved that." Taako could have heard an _aww_ behind him if he listened. But he didn't, because all of his attention was on Kravitz, the moment burned into his memory forever.

"I've never been so in love with someone who fell just as hard for me, and if it hasn't gone away after all this time, I don't think it ever will. And I _would_ thank Istus, but--she's right there, and I already have, dozens of times before."

Istus winked.

"We've been running for such a long time, and I want to give you some solid ground. Whatever endeavors you pursue in life, and whoever you end up serving in death--" Kravitz stole a look at Istus and the Raven Queen. "--I'll be there, with you. And I will love you the entire time."

He slipped the ring on Taako's finger, surprised to see it was blue instead of silver. Taako touched the ring, and it was pure sapphire. Still the same ring, just transmuted into a solid gem.

"I thought the two of you would like a change, since you have worn them for so long," the Queen explained with a smile in her voice.

"Thank you," Kravitz said, his thumb rested on the ring over Taako's finger, "it's perfect."

The Raven Queen nodded and placed another ring into Taako's palm. Shit. _Shit,_ it was his turn! What was he supposed to say? He knew he wrote down vows somewhere, but those were from when he was going to do this in front of his friends. They weren't as personal as he wanted them to be, it was mostly jokes and teases. He wanted to be a little fucking sentimental on his wedding day, now that he had the chance. He could do that in front of Lup and Barry and two goddesses, that wasn't a big deal.

"Kravitz," he started, and Kravitz burst out into tears. "Oh, _fuck,_ you're--"

Taako looked behind him, and Barry already had a handkerchief outstretched. Taako snatched it from him and handed it to Kravitz, who thanked Barry and cleared his nose on the fabric.

"You're already crying." It was half a tease, half concern. He was sure Kravitz wasn't _sad_ about tying the knot, but it still wasn't a fun sight.

"It's good!" Kravitz dabbed at his eyes and pulled himself together. He smiled, eyes crinkling at the edges. "It's good, it's--I'm--please, go on."

Once Taako could tell Kravitz was stable again, he put his own thoughts back together. Right. Couldn't use the prepared vows, so...time to improvise.

"I was always, like, a little afraid that doing something like this would make things boring. Maybe that's because other people aren't as good at this as we are, or I just hadn't seen a lot of good examples, but that's not important." The words came out surprisingly easy, even with the four witnesses. "The fact is, this isn't boring. You're, like, always changing. All the time. And you didn't even care when I changed, which is. A plus. In fact, it's so much of a plus that--that I barely even think about that anymore! Like, sure, most of that was my own fuckin' introspection, and self care or whatever, but. You helped." Taako reached forward to wipe off one stray tear that Kravitz pushed out as the speech began. "It wasn't the _worst_ thing to stay on the move all the time, but now that I'm here, it's. Good. To be in one place. With you."

"I used to think you were some big weirdo mystery man. And you are. Like, I know you just called _me_ chaotic, but you need to look in a mirror, babe. You have _work accents_ and you shapeshift to land the worst jokes I've ever heard. And, like, it was kind of fun to figure out more about you over the years, but I got to a point where I just wanted to fucking _settle down,_ yeah?" He smiled, looked at the ground. "Guess that's what we're doing right now."

"I know I'm an ass, and I'm not always great at saying what I mean, but. I've sunk in a lot of practice with you. And that's--you know that's like, a fucking miracle, because it's not easy to just--let someone on board the Taako train, y'know?" Taako forced himself to look Kravitz in the eyes, even though he felt the sting of tears at the edge of his own. "You do belong here, though. And I love you, and I'll--remember to say that, whenever I can, when there's not a million eyes on us."

"So, like--I want you here. And I want to be here. I don't give a shit whether we're in the Material plane or the Astral plane, but as long as we're all here. Then." Taako brought up Kravitz' hand and placed the ring on. His wasn't sapphire, but it was a glimmering pink. Tourmaline. "I love you, and I want to stay."

Lup whooped and hollered behind them, and Taako couldn't even pretend to be embarrassed. Yeah, he loved Kravitz, that wasn't a secret. He probably could have done these vows in front of everyone else, but he decided he liked this private moment more. By the look on Kravitz' face, he did too.

The Raven Queen cleared her throat (did she _have_ a throat?) and placed one hand on Kravitz' back, and the other on Taako's. "As long as there aren't any objections, I think we should tie these two together."

Taako shot a poisonous look at Barry and Lup. "Nobody better object, I swear to--"

Kravitz put a hand on his shoulder. "There are two goddesses right here, you don't have to swear on anything."

"Kravitz," the Queen said, her words drowning out the giggling from all edges of the room. "Do you take Taako as your husband, in this plane and the next?"

"Yes." Kravitz squeezed his hands and leaned in closer. "I do."

"And, Taako," she continued, "do you take Kravitz as your husband, in this plane and the next?"

"I do," he answered, without any hesitation. He waited for the end of this so he could kiss Kravitz and have this all wrapped up.

"Then it shall be."

Taako didn't bother to wait any longer. He grabbed Kravitz' cheeks and kissed him, delighted when he felt an immediate press back. It wasn't anything raunchy, there were still two goddesses and their family in the room, but it was completely satisfying. He'd had lots of perfect kisses with Kravitz over the years, after big fights or apocalypses, but this was the best one so far. Kravitz held him close and they both smiled, lingered there for just a few seconds longer than what was socially acceptable.

Once they pulled back, Lup jumped out of her seat and held her cloth in the air. "Ah, wait, hold on a minute, did you want to--"

"Oh, hell yeah, let's--" Taako shuffled off to the side to let Lup through. "Just, right there--"

She squirmed in between them and set the cloth covered glass on the floor. She slowly backed up, patting Taako once on the back as she exited. "Okay. It's there."

"Thanks!" Taako pointed down to the cloth and raised his brows at Kravitz. "Did you want to, uh, or should I--"

"You can if you'd like."

Taako smashed the glass with his foot and Kravitz captured him in another kiss immediately, to the backdrop of four cheers and raven caws. It was a more goth wedding than he'd anticipated, but he _was_ marrying death, so. It was inevitable, really.

They spent the better part of an hour winding down, thanking both of the goddesses and teased by Lup and Barry. Lup complained that they would have to change so many of their plans for the next day, but couldn't wipe the smile off her face. Barry kept hugging the two of them, couldn't stop offering congratulations. Istus and the Queen kept fighting over who'd get the extra emissary in five hundred years or so. Kravitz thanked both goddesses again, and made Taako thank them formally, even though the Raven Queen laughed through the whole thing.

Eventually, they all realized that Taako _was,_ in fact, mortal, and needed sleep. They said their goodbyes and Kravitz cut a rift to the hall outside their wedding suite.

"Come on, let's get you to sleep," he said, and kissed Taako once on the cheek.

"You're coming, too." Taako reached up and draped his arms over Kravitz' shoulders. "Actually, fuck, you're supposed to carry me there."

"I have no problems with that." Kravitz flashed a grin and scooped Taako into his arms, effortless. "How's this?"

"Even better than I imagined," he mumbled into Kravitz' neck, smiling too wide for words to form correctly. "I love you."

"I love you, too. Always." Kravitz dipped him in his arms and kissed him, teeth clacking against teeth, smiles too pronounced for a normal kiss. "We're _married."_

"Yeah we are." Taako kicked at the door, the only thing he could reach from his position. "Actually, if you want to get technical about it--we're not married until we consummate this thing, y'know."

Kravitz wasn't thrown off guard or embarrassed, and only laughed. "That's an outdated rule that doesn't exist on this plane."

"I was trying to be smooth," he huffed.

"Try harder."

"Oh, I can be harder if you want me to be."

"Trying to steal my heart with puns now, are we?"

"Is it working?"

"It's working." Kravitz unlocked the door and let it swing open. "I suppose we can indulge in that old, outdated tradition."

"Got to remind you that you're mine." Taako kissed along Kravitz' jaw and up towards his ear. "Aaaaand, like, also that I'm yours. Of course."

"I think that can be arranged." Kravitz grinned, dipped down to kiss at Taako's neck. "I'll show you how much I love you."

"That's quite the promise," he said, and held on tighter. "Show me."

Kravitz kissed him as he carried him over the threshold. The door closed behind them, and it wasn't the start to a new life or an end to an old one. It was simply a continuation of both their lives, the logical effect to all the years and moments leading up to it. They would have good days and bad days after, but no matter what, they found a solid place in each other, and all the people they loved around them. After all the deaths, and the cycles, and the misunderstandings and the fighting and the separation, they were here. Together. No portal to separate them, no Hunger to put them in danger.

They fought for a life together, and won.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> and that's it! that's the end! i'm done! i'm sad to see this fic go because i had a lot of fun with it, but i'm also kind of glad it's over! this fic took a lot of time out of me, and uh. now i have to move out of this apartment. 
> 
> so the next longfic won't come out for a couple months, maybe? i might post some little oneshots and tiny multichapter things that i have in my drafts, but my original stuff is going to start to take first bidding on my time! i'll announce everything on my tumblr, fantasysamsclub. i've got a media empire to build and webcomics to write, so be on the lookout for that! oh. and i also get to play dnd :) but that's just for me :) i'm a heartless dm and a bad, bad bard :)
> 
> thanks to everyone that stuck around for this one!!! i can't say how much i appreciate all your comments and screaming!
> 
> see you later, everybody!


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